Chapter 16

The rain started shortly after they crossed the border into Massachusetts. It started out gentle and fitful then quickly grew heavy and steady, forcing Neal to keep his speed below the prescribed limit. Luckily there were very few cars on the road at 1:30 on a Thursday morning.

Except for going over the details of his conversation with Peter, Neal and Sara hadn't spoken much since they'd gotten in the car. The radio was set to a soft jazz station and they held hands as he drove. Every few minutes, he felt her hand grow limp in his as the monotonous rain and fatigue conspired to lull Sara to sleep and despite her best efforts she seemed to be losing the battle. He felt her startle as she bolted up in her seat.

'Honey, why don't you just stop fighting it and have a nap?' he suggested.

'No. I want to keep you company' she murmured, her voice slurred.

'You're probably dealing with a mild concussion from when you hit your head. Don't fight it babe, close your eyes.'

'Nnnno' she garbled. 'Don't wanna…'

Neal let out a soft chuckle. Her eyes were already closed. He returned his focus to the road up ahead and ramped up the speed of the windshield wipers one more notch. He replayed his conversation with Peter, realizing how quick he'd been to anger. Too quick he wondered? Knowing his best friend as he did, there was no doubt Peter had been agonizing about the events which had transpired under his watch. And yet Neal's anger lingered… anger at not being told about Liam's disappearance the moment it happened, anger at not having been there to help with the search, anger at not being there when his son needed comforting the most.

Liam was a sweet and gentle soul. Unlike his sister, he was quiet and introspective and he tended to take his time processing things. Hope was a lot more 'in your face' about her feelings — not unlike her mother. And yet when she'd been abducted by Matthew Keller a few years back, it had taken months for her to recover. Throughout her three day ordeal, she'd shown incredible strength and courage; she'd even been instrumental in pointing them in the direction of the abandoned building where Keller had been holding her. But in the weeks and months that followed, there'd been somewhat of a backlash. For a time, she'd grown sullen, fearful of the dark and had spent more than a few nights in her parents' bed, seeking comfort. Even nowadays, she still reacted with caution when meeting new people, especially men.

How would a sensitive little boy like Liam react to such an ordeal? Of course, he'd only been separated from El and Peter for a short time but a couple of hours would seem endless to a five-year-old boy. To top it off, his mom and dad had been miles away, leaving him even more distressed. Had he been traumatized? How would his anxiety manifest itself? Again, anger rose in Neal's chest. He'd been deprived of being there to help Liam cope with the immediate fallout from the traumatic experience. Except for telling him that his son had landed on the doorstep of the FBI building, Peter had been cryptic about the details of how Liam had seemed when they'd recovered him. Had he been crying? Upset? Scared? In shock?

He sighed loudly and glanced at Sara. She seemed sound asleep, her head propped up against the passenger car door. She had to be exhausted to let herself drift off like that under such trying circumstances. He'd been surprised at how well she was handling all this, a contrast to his over the top reaction on the phone with Peter. Of course she hadn't had the shock of seeing their son's face appear on TV with the words 'amber alert' but like him, she was beyond worried although she was managing to refrain from falling apart. Somehow she was finding the strength to stick to their agreed upon arrangement when it came to their children: in times of worry, only one of them was allowed to fall apart at a time.

The silky voice of Al Jarreau came on the radio and Neal concentrated on relaxing his shoulders. They were still far from home and he'd been forced to slow down a little as the rain continued to pound the pavement. He hummed softly, hoping to occupy his mind.

'Hey…' came Sara's quiet voice from the other side of the car. 'You want me to take over for a while?'

Neal glanced in her direction and smiled. 'I thought for sure you were a goner' he replied.

'Just resting my eyes. You want to take a break?'

Blinding headlights shone onto their windshield as a car passed and Neal frowned, shielding his eyes.

'Asshole' he muttered under his breath, uncharacteristically annoyed. 'Can't even bother to turn down his brights.'

She could sense the anxiety in his voice. 'Neal, I'm serious. Why don't we switch for a while… just for an hour. And then you can take over if you want.'

He felt the tension in his neck and rubbed it absentmindedly. 'I'm fine.'

'I beg to differ. You're a mess Caffrey. You're exhausted and you're pissed off. Do you really want to be losing your shit in front of Liam?'

He grunted and rubbed his temple. The nagging headache was gaining on him.

Sara pulled out one of her most lethal weapons: her bossy pants voice. 'Come on' she said, pointing to a rest stop up ahead. 'Pull in there and we can use the bathroom. I could use a coffee and then I want you to close your eyes and rest for a while.'

He was exhausted. Not so much physically but… the shock of seeing his wife being shoved around combined with finding out his precious son had been forcefully taken away had drained him of all energy. The thought of resting his eyes was tempting and besides, he had very little in the way of a comeback whenever she used that tone of voice.

How could their perfect little holiday have turned into such a fucking mess?

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Peter grumbled. He should be back at the office, coordinating the search for Dwight Cornyn.

The only reason he'd come home in the first place was to get Liam settled. Once the little guy had appeared at the door of the Federal Building seemingly unharmed, the first order of business had been to get him looked at by a physician to make sure he was okay. Liam had been exhausted from his ordeal and had fallen asleep in Peter's arms by the time a social worker had come down to the ER - another part of the protocol following a child's disappearance. Liam had been largely uncooperative considering he could barely keep his eyes open and the woman had suggested a follow-up home visit to check up on him. There was a handout of advice for parents of children recuperating from a traumatic event and some forms for parents who wanted additional support.

Knowing Liam as he did, Peter was able to determine that he was acting pretty well like his old self. So they'd gotten him something to eat and they had tended to his soiled pants which seemed to be a major focus of embarrassment for the little guy. With any other victim, Peter would have just turned the child over to his parents and remained at the office for phase two. But he was playing both roles at the moment and his priority had been to get Liam home to Elizabeth and into his warm, comfortable bed. El was being stoic as always but he'd taken the time to get her settled as well, lying in bed with her for a few moments, fully clothed and waiting for news from his team on the search front.

'I'm okay' Elizabeth murmured to her husband as they lay face to face.

'I don't want to leave you in case he wakes up and gets upset' Peter confessed.

'Honey, I know you're dying to get back out there and find this creep.'

Peter didn't deny it.

'Go on, go' she insisted with a gentle shove. 'We'll be fine.'

He shrugged.

'Peter you're not doing anybody any good lying here thinking about it.'

'I've still got a car parked out front watching the house' he reminded her. 'Not that I expect him to come back.'

Elizabeth nodded. 'Go on, we'll be fine. Neal and Sara will be home in a few hours.'

Peter's thoughts returned to his best friend. His last conversation with Neal had been upsetting for both of them and he was looking forward to debriefing in the morning. Neal would have a lot more questions and Peter needed to brief both him and Sara about their late night visit to the hospital.

'You're sure?' he asked.

'I'm sure. I know how it'll drive you crazy to just lie here and wait. Go on honey, go do what you do best.'

He smiled weakly and kissed her before standing and checking himself one last time in the mirror. And then he was off.

WCWCWC

There was a big puddle at his feet and he started to tremble. Everybody in the classroom was staring at him.

'Mrs. Johnson, Liam peed his pants' one of the kids called out.

'Liam peed his pants!' she repeated louder as some of the girls in the class giggled.

Liam felt his cheeks redden, totally embarrassed by the turn of events.

'I'm sorry' he murmured, his voice unsteady.

'Here' the teacher said, appearing with a change of clothes. 'You can change here in front of everybody.'

Tears flowed down his cheeks, totally humiliated at the thought of everyone watching him. She patted him on the head. Meanwhile, all the boys and girls stood around in a circle, pointing to the puddle on the floor and laughing.

'Liam Caffrey is a baby' said one of the other boys.

'NO I'M NOT!' Liam cried out.

He woke to the sound of his own voice and sat up in the darkened room. That's when he noticed that the sheets he was lying in were soaked.

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Sara was relieved to find Neal hadn't protested much at all. He was always on her case about her driving skills which to her dismay and annoyance, he qualified as substandard. But he hadn't even cracked a joke about it when he'd gotten back in the car after their pee break. He'd just chased down a couple of Tylenol extra strength with a large swig of orange juice, grabbed a blanket from the back seat and positioned himself up against the passenger car door.

He was snoring within a couple of minutes. Once he was asleep, Sara helped herself to a couple of pain killers herself. Her face was still sore from that well placed left hook and contrary to earlier, she was wide awake. The rain had slowed to a few sputtering showers and the sky wasn't quite as dark as it had been just half an hour earlier as dawn neared. She checked the time. It was 4:38 and they still had a good hour and a half to go if she could maintain her speed slightly above 65 miles per hour - which was the upper limit of her comfort zone.

Liam was waiting on the other end and she bit her lip as she imagined him sad and upset. Personality wise, he was the total antithesis of his sister. He'd always been on the quiet side, happy to play by himself, to explore his toys, examine them, take them apart. He was cooperative, quiet and reflective, always observing the world around him with his big inquisitive green eyes.

Both she and Neal had noticed a change in him when he'd started school the previous fall. The separation between mother and son had been painfully difficult. For both of them. Liam was her baby, always had been, always would be. Perhaps because Sara had waited so long to get pregnant in the first place, she'd tended to dote on him and he, gentle soul that he was, wanted nothing more than to be coddled by his mother. It had all come back to bite Sara in the ass when he'd started school. He'd become clingy and mopey and she had even begun to worry he would never learn to adapt. Neal had encouraged her to leave it alone, to let him ease into the social setting at his own pace but Sara thought she knew better.

A smile came to her lips as she recalled Liam's first day of kindergarten just a few short months earlier. Parents had been invited to accompany their children into the classroom to help them settle. Liam had been happy enough to play at the Lego table while his mom was nearby but when the time came for Sara to leave, he'd latched on to her leg and refused to let go. After some gentle coaxing from the teacher, Sara had finally managed to disentangle herself from him and had given him a kiss goodbye as he begged her to stay. 'Be firm' the woman had said. 'Say goodbye and leave and I'll make sure he's okay.' Sara had grudgingly followed instructions and had stood outside the classroom door for a few minutes, sight unseen, to make sure he was all right. Once she'd disappeared from his sight, he seemed to make peace with his fate and she'd watched him settle at one of the tables in front of a puzzle of Caillou. Once reassured, she'd snuck away, making a quick detour at the grocery store on the way home where lo and behold, she found her son sitting on the doorstep, crying. Seemed Liam had inherited his dad's skills as an escape artist, slipping out of sight while the teacher had her back turned.

Nowadays, although he enjoyed school, Liam still moaned about leaving his mom in the morning and Neal had gotten into the habit of doing the school drop off in order to avoid all the over the top drama. And now, her little boy, her sweet gentle little Liam had been held against his will and she hadn't been there to keep it from happening. Neal was right; they needed to be there when he woke up. She pushed the pedal to the metal and the car jerked.

But Neal didn't even budge.

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'Where the hell is he?' Peter said, running his hand through his hair.

He was royally pissed. Not only had this guy managed to disappear with Liam, now he was playing hide and seek with them, further exacerbating Special Agent Peter Burke's anger and frustration.

'They found the car he'd rented. He dumped it in Queens.'

'And…' Peter said with a scorn.

Diana cringed. 'Nothing yet. He's either holed up somewhere in the area or he's taken off with another vehicle.'

Peter opened his mouth.

'Yes…' Diana interrupted, reading his mind. 'We've asked NYPD for any reports of stolen vehicles in that area. But at this time of night… it might be awhile before anyone reports their car missing.'

Peter slapped his desk with his open palm and cringed at the sting. He wanted this all wrapped up with a bow by the time Neal arrived. The only thing worse than facing Neal about what had happened with Liam was to have to tell him the guy was still running around, goading them.

'Boss, you're exhausted. Why don't you go back to Neal's place? We're doing all we can. There's nothing you can do here except worry. I promise we'll call as soon as he's located.'

Peter sighed. She had a point. He'd hated leaving Elizabeth on her own with the kids. What if Liam woke and was upset? And Hope… she'd been kept in the dark about what had happened to her brother but she would find out soon enough. Might what happened to Liam trigger traumatic memories of her own painful experience at the hands of Matthew Keller? Neal had mentioned that just before they'd left for their vacation, she'd been worried something might happen to her dad. Finding out her baby brother had been abducted might just throw her into a tailspin.

'Even if it's just a sighting…' Peter said with a scornful look.

'Promise. Go… please Peter.'

Not for the first time since his best friend had left town, Peter reflected on just how much was involved in caring for young children. Neal's reaction on the phone hadn't been so strange after all. But that was Monday morning quarterbacking and there was nothing he could do to change what had already happened. All he do from here on in was to be there for El and for the kids until their parents finally made it home.

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Sara flew by the exit for Bridgeport and checked the GPS. They were a little less than an hour away from home. Surprisingly, Neal was still snoring, his face buried in the blanket he'd wrapped himself in.

She turned down the music and let out a shaky breath as she thought of Beth. She realized with disappointment that she didn't even know the woman's last name. There would be no way to check up on her, to see if she was all right. Where had she been going like that in the middle of the night? Had she finally decided she'd had enough of her abusive husband? Perhaps the episode in the woods had been the final straw, the incident that pushed her over the edge. Although Beth had said she always refrained from calling the police, in this case, she'd been able to do for Sara what she hadn't been able to do for herself. She'd called the police and told the truth about her husband's violent behaviour. Was it because they were miles away from home and from Brett's colleagues? Or was it that she'd just come to the end of her tether?

Sara hoped with all her heart that Beth would be safe from him wherever she was headed. Maybe she had a friend or a sister she could stay with away from her domineering husband. She glanced at Neal once again and sighed. Not everyone had a thoughtful and caring husband to turn to.

A song came on the radio, one of the rat pack songs June loved and always played on her turntable. Sara began to hum along off key, catching herself before she woke Neal. But he didn't even stir. Fear, anger and good old plain fatigue had conspired to knock him right out.

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As calm as he'd been when he'd gone to bed, Liam was inconsolable as he lay in Elizabeth's arms.

'I want my mommy' he moaned, over and over again.

She'd changed his bed, helped him wash up and slip on a clean pair of jammies but it had become abundantly clear he wasn't going back to sleep in his bed. She picked up one of the books she'd carried into the king size bed and held it up.

'You want me to read Green Eggs and Ham again?' she asked, holding it up.

Liam shook his head and let out another moan. 'No, I want my mommy.'

'How about Corduroy? Would you like that one?'

He whimpered and shoved his face in her bosom, letting out a loud sob.

'Awww honey, your mommy and daddy are on their way home' she said, running her hand through his thick hair. 'Why don't we lie down here for a while and try to get some sleep.'

She felt him shaking his head against her chest. When he spoke, his voice was muffled. 'No. What if I pee again?'

She let out a loud sigh. Poor kid. She needed a distraction and fast.

'Did I ever tell you about what happened to me when I was five?'

He stopped moaning and looked up, his eyes growing with curiosity. 'What?' he sniffled.

'When I was in kindergarten, I did something that got me into a lot of trouble.'

Liam sat up and wiped his eyes with his pyjama sleeve.

El's face grew expressive. 'I was in Miss Hendrick's class. She was nice but she was strict and she didn't put up with any nonsense.'

The little guy started to relax, crossing his legs and positioning himself directly in front of his aunt Elizabeth to better see her face.

'One day, during recess I had to come inside to use the bathroom. When I finished, I headed down the long hall that led back to the playground. There was interesting stuff all over the place. There were bulletin boards where the big kids had put up some of their assignments and there was even a spot where the photos of all the school staff had been posted. Somebody had drawn a large moustache on Mr. Fielding's face because nobody liked him. He was the janitor and he used to shout at the kids when they got his nice clean floor dirty. Anyway, I was looking around and I happened to notice the fire alarm up on the wall. It was red and shiny and on it, it said 'pull down'. I had always been curious about what sound it would make because we always practiced our fire drills with a whistle.'

Liam's mouth dropped open as he listened.

'Well, I was very curious when I was your age and…' she said, slowing for effect.

'Did you…?'

She nodded, biting her lip. 'I did. I pulled on it and all of a sudden there was this loud noise ringing all through the school.'

'What happened?'

I started to run out of the school and the teachers all came out of the teachers' room and started running for the exits, gathering all the children and taking them to the edge of the playground. Then… then something even worse happened.'

'What? What?'

'Suddenly we could hear the fire trucks coming and they drove up to the school and started to take out their hoses and ladders.'

'Really?'

She nodded. 'There were four of them and lots and lots of firemen and I could hear the teachers talking, asking who had pulled the alarm.'

'So what happened to you?'

'Well, I felt so bad about what I'd done that I told my teacher the truth and she told the principal and then my parents were called to the school and I had to go into the office and the principal was really mad. He told me that the alarm wasn't a toy and it wasn't for playing with.'

Liam frowned. 'Everybody knows that. What was your consquince?' he asked, captivated by the story.

'I had to clean the blackboard brushes in the class for two whole weeks.'

He was totally into it now. Elizabeth opened her arms and he leaned in, bringing his arms around her waist as far as they would go and setting his head on her chest.

'What's a blackboard brush?' he asked.

She kissed the top of his head. 'Ahhh, now that's a whole other story. Close your eyes and I'll tell you all about it.'

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Peter waved to the agent who was sitting in front of the Caffrey house and walked over to his car.

'Anything?' he asked.

'No sir, nothing' the man replied.

'All right, good job Barclay. You go ahead and turn in for the night, I'm here now.'

The man gave him a small salute and started the car. Peter watched him drive away and wearily made his way to the front door of the house. He pulled out his key and stepped inside locking the door behind him. Sounded like everyone was asleep. He kicked off his shoes and went into the kitchen where he took off his coat jacket followed by his holster. As he'd been doing for the past few nights, he took the ammunition out of his service revolver, stuck it in his pants pocket and placed the unloaded gun up on the top shelf of the kitchen shelf behind the coffee grinder. He opened the fridge and pulled out the juice container, pouring himself a glass which he downed in one large gulp.

Then, he headed upstairs where he hoped he might squeeze in just an hour of two of sleep.

TBC