Author's Note: Whichever reviewer pointed out the line in the last chapter, "You'd be amazed at how much capacity my heart has for you," that was my favorite line in all 212 pages. I've always thought of Alex's love for Piper even grander than she can fathom. Now you know how long the story is, and I've almost broken it down into the proper number of chapters. I mentioned 20 chapters way back when, but it looks like it might be a tad over 20 with a brief epilogue. Thanks for the reviews!
The entire month of January sucks. Alex moves to Manchester on the 8th; my parents haven't spoken to me since I told them about our relationship; and I have to take 21 grueling credits my last semester of college. I'm cursing myself for being overzealous in my educational pursuits. Adding to my misery, a blizzard crushes the Northeast at the end of the month, making travel treacherous and leaving Alex and I no choice but to remain in Northampton and Manchester respectively for two weekends in a row.
Alex tries to lift my mood by asking me to plan our spring break trip, but the more I research tropical beaches, the more I long to be there now. Then there's the waiting game about where I'll go to graduate school. Moving to California is becoming more appealing the more distant I become from my parents.
It isn't until right before mid-winter break in February when my parents unexpectedly reach out to me.
"We'd like to talk about your relationship in person," my father states in a tone that makes me wonder if he'd really like to discuss it. "Can you come home over break?"
I was planning to spend the five days off with Alex, but this deserves my attention. "Yeah, I can probably make it, but I'd like Alex to be with me."
"That's ridiculous," my mom chimes in. "Why does she have to be here?"
"Because she's my other half," I reply steadfastly. "I'm sure you have questions for her as much as you do for me."
My dad huffs and my mom makes an audacious sound.
"I'm 21-years-old, and I get to make decisions that are best for me," I begin, paying very close attention to the cadence of my voice. I don't want to get worked up about this over the phone—the last thing I need is for them to think I'm acting childish with my outbursts. "Alex is what's best for me."
"What about school?"
"I'm taking a full load this semester and will graduate with a double major and a minor," I respond. "I've also applied to graduate schools—nothing is going to derail my professional aspirations."
"I'll allow Alex to come to our home, but she's not welcome to spend the night," he replies.
I'm not going to mention that if Alex doesn't spend the night, neither will I. They'll see how far they've pushed me if it comes to that. "I'll be there Saturday afternoon."
"See you then."
At least this is progress; now I just need to convince Alex to join me in front of the firing squad. I immediately call her.
"Hey," she answers. "Have you dug out of the snow yet?"
"Barely," I respond, happy to hear her voice rather than my disenchanted parents. "Classes were cancelled yesterday, but we were back in session today."
"Hang on…" I hear her shut the car door. "I'm just getting home."
"Long day?"
"My last client went a little over time," she replies.
I plop on my bed with a thud. "I just got off the phone with my parents."
I hear her drop her keys on a table. "Who called whom?"
"They called me." I lean my back against the wall, letting my feet dangle off the mattress. "They want to talk in person."
"That's a good thing, isn't it?"
"I told them I'd only do that if you were with me."
She's silent, so I continue. "They're going to have a million questions, and I'd like for you to be there to defend yourself…and for moral support."
I hear her open the refrigerator as bottles clink. "Don't you think it would be better hearing from you first?"
I fiddle with the edge of my comforter. "If you don't want to be there, I can—"
"It's not that I don't want to," she begins. "I mean, I don't, but I want this to work out for you."
"Your being there will help," I try.
I hear her open a bottle of something that fizzes. "If you think so."
"You don't?"
She takes a sip. "I don't know your parents, so I have no idea what the best way is to proceed."
"This is the best way—you and me together," I say.
"If you think so, babe," she replies. "When will this meeting happen?"
I get to my feet and glance at the calendar on my wall. "I have mid-winter break next Thursday through Sunday. I thought maybe I could drive to Manchester, spend a couple days with you, and then we could head to Darien on Saturday." I sit in my desk chair. "I haven't seen you in two weeks."
"I know," she sighs. "How are the spring break trip plans going?"
I tell her about the minimal research I've done and promise to put more thought into it after we meet with my parents. Right now, that's what's consuming me.
My Manchester apartment is a far cry from my cute house in Charlton, and it's depressing compared to my beachside cottage in Dana Point. Rather than going with the nicer, more expensive option, I decided to get the least expensive housing option so I can sock away a little extra money for my impending move. It's a sparsely furnished studio apartment in a less appealing part of town, but it'll do for just under three months.
My job at the private psychological clinic is decent, though I'm doing more general counseling than substance abuse. The other therapists are about my age, which makes it a little more fun than most clinics where the average age of the psychologists is 50-something. It's the first place I've worked that has regular staff lunches and happy hours, which has been nice.
It's amazing how much having Piper around influenced my mood. I loved waking up with her, sharing meals together, and talking about future plans. Even when I didn't see her for four or five days in a row, I knew we'd be together by Friday evening. This long stretch of not seeing her has been more difficult than I thought it might, which is why I'm glad she's staying with me during part of her mid-winter break. What I'm not looking forward to is meeting her parents.
I greet her at the door with a big hug. "Hey, babe."
She pulls back and kisses me. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too." I take her hand and lead her into my apartment. "Well, this is it."
"Not much bigger than my dorm room," she observes.
"It's 600 square feet—I'd say it's bigger than your room," I respond. "Still, it's tiny."
She shoves her bag against the wall. "You only have like four weeks left anyway."
"Exactly."
Over a couple glasses of wine, I ask her about how her semester is going so far, tell her a little about my job, and then we discuss meeting her parents.
"I don't want to rehearse or anything," Piper says. "We don't have to give them all the details about staying in touch over the years."
"And I'm obviously not going to tell them I had feelings for you back then."
She shrugs. "Everything else is fair game."
"Tell me more about them."
Piper shares stories about Bill and Carol when she was growing up, and it's clear that they reek of privilege and have a certain image to uphold. Her younger brother, on the other hand, sounds like the black sheep of the family. Cal graduated from high school last spring and has a part-time job at a thrift store. He has smoked pot since he was a pre-teen, and Piper suspects he sells it for extra cash.
"Did you talk to him about the whole pot thing back when you were in therapy?" I ask around a sip of Pinot Noir.
"About taking his joints?"
I nod.
"Yeah. I told him I was the one who took them, and I said if mom and dad found out he was smoking pot, he'd be grounded for life," Piper responds.
"And?"
She shrugs. "He didn't seem to care."
I swirl the wine in my glass. "That's worrisome."
"I talk to him way more than I talk to my parents," she says. "He isn't into any other drugs—just marijuana."
I take another sip. "At least it's legal in Connecticut."
She nods. "Are you good with the whole 'meet the parents' thing?"
"I guess."
Piper scoots her chair back and walks over to me.
"More wine?" I ask.
She sits on my lap, shaking her head.
I smirk, knowing where this is headed. "Do you want something to eat?"
"No." Her eyes darken.
"Do you want to move to the bed?" I chuckle.
She kisses me, softly at first, then with more urgency. Instead of moving to the couch or the bed, Piper straddles me, lifting my sweater over my head and fiddling with the clasp of my bra. I help her unclasp it, and as soon as my breasts are free, her hand moves to one while her mouth moves to the other. I allow her to be in control. Sex with Piper is different every time, and I savor each time more than the last.
I have to go to work the following morning, but it's hard to leave a naked Piper in bed. I think about calling in sick, but it wouldn't look good, and I've yet to do that at any of my temporary jobs.
"I'll be back around 5:30." I kiss her forehead. "Maybe we can have dinner in town tonight?"
"Mmm hmm." She tugs at my shirt collar, pulling me down for a more intense kiss. "Have a good day."
It would be so easy to stay. "You too, babe."
That familiar feeling of coming home to Piper sits with me throughout the busy day. It's simple to snap back to what we all-too-briefly-had in Massachusetts, and I realize that's what I want—I want to come home to Piper every day. I remind myself it's inevitable, we just have a while to wait.
We have a casual dinner Friday evening in Manchester, and when we get back to my apartment, I can sense that Piper is anxious about our impending trip to Darien.
I dot my toothbrush with Crest. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"They basically disown me and don't finance my graduate program," she offers.
"People get student loans all the time," I respond. "That's what I did."
She rinses her mouth. "True."
"Do you really think they'd disown you?" I ask as I vigorously brush my teeth. "As in sever all ties over who you're dating?"
She wipes her mouth. "You asked me what's the worst that could happen. That's it."
I know I'm slipping into clinical mode, but it seems appropriate. "How would you feel about that?"
She changes into a loose tank top. "I don't see eye to eye with my parents about a lot of things, but I still love them."
I rinse my mouth. "What are some things you could do to remind them you love them?"
"Call them more often…even if they don't pick up, I could leave a message," she begins. "Maybe send letters or cards, asking how they're doing and telling them about my life."
I clean my face with a makeup wipe. "That would make the worst case scenario less bad."
She crawls into bed. "I guess we'll find out how it goes tomorrow."
I join her in bed and kiss her on the cheek.
"Let's talk about something more upbeat."
I pull the sheets higher and snuggle against her. "Tell me about our spring break trip."
Because Piper is heading back to Smith on Sunday morning and I have to return to Manchester, we take two separate cars to Darien. She barely touched her breakfast this morning, and I suspect anxiety is swirling in the pit of her stomach. I'll be happy when this day is over—this is a long fucking drive to hear what will most likely be disappointing news.
While my primary focus is supporting Piper, I'm also looking forward to seeing Nicky while I'm in town. If things go well with the Chapmans, I'll stay for dinner, but if they go sideways, I'll have dinner with Nicky. Piper knows she's welcome to join us, but she might feel obligated to stay overnight to privately discuss our relationship with her parents. I told her I'd stay as long as she needs me, but if there comes a time when I feel like I'm more in the way than helping, I'll leave.
Three hours later, we arrive at the Chapman house, which is far nicer than any home I've ever lived in. Nicky's house is comfortable, but it's a shack compared to this.
Piper steps out of the car, and I meet her on the edge of the well-manicured lawn.
I stretch my arms above my head. "It feels good to get out of the car."
She does the same. "That was a long drive."
"Are you ready?" I rub her shoulder.
She takes a deep breath and nods.
We walk up the driveway and Piper opens the side door. We enter a short hallway and pass the mud room that leads to the kitchen. "Mom? Dad?"
A tall, somewhat thick young adult male with ungroomed facial hair is sitting at the kitchen counter. "Pipes, hey! Welcome home." He stands and hugs her. "Mom told me you were coming, but I thought it would be later."
"Hey, Cal." After a quick embrace, she steps aside. "This is Alex."
His eyes widen. "Whoa."
I stick out my hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Close your mouth." Piper nudges her brother's arm. "You're embarrassing me."
"Hi." He dusts Dorito cheese off his hand before shaking mine. "Nice to meet you…Piper didn't say you were…" He makes a face like he can't come up with an appropriate word.
She rolls her eyes. "Get it together, Cal."
"You're nothing at all like I pictured," he says through nervous laughter.
I play along. "What did you picture?"
"Don't feed into him," Piper complains with a head shake as she opens a cabinet and pulls down two glasses.
This might be the most amusing part of my day, so I ignore her request.
"I don't know…" He shrugs. "Cropped hair, short stature, tatted up lesbian."
"I'm afraid I only possess one of those things."
Piper hands me a glass of water.
He gulps. "You don't have short hair and you're sure as hell not short, so…"
"Five tattoos." I roll up my sleeve to show him my wrist. "I got this one when I was 19."
Cal looks mesmerized. "What other ink do you have on your body?"
Just as Piper is about to put an end to her brother's curiosity, her mom enters the kitchen.
"I didn't realize you'd gotten here already." She approaches Piper with a kiss on the cheek, and then eyes me up and down. "You must be Alex."
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Chapman." I shake her hand.
She barely shakes mine. Her husband enters the room a minute later, and we go through the same motions. I follow them into the living room, and Piper sits on the sofa and glances up at me. I assume she wants me to sit next to her. Bill sits in the leather recliner, but Carol doesn't take a seat at first.
"Can I offer you something to eat?"
"No thank you," I say, and Piper shakes her head, taking a long sip of water.
Carol moves to the armchair and perches on the edge, legs pressed together. I wonder if she's always dressed like she's got some place fancy to go or if she decided to wear a dress for the occasion of meeting her daughter's lover.
"I remember meeting you briefly in the elevator," her dad begins. "You looked sick as I recall."
Fuck, that's where this is starting? I remember that day vividly. Piper had just kissed me in my office, and I bolted out of there as if I'd committed a crime. I rushed into the elevator, which stopped on the third floor and her father entered. I didn't want this conversation to begin with a lie, but I sure as hell can't tell him the truth about what had just transpired. "Yeah, I think I had a stomach bug that day."
"Piper talked about you often," he continues. "I thought you were a good therapist for my daughter, but now I've learned she had feelings for you."
"I did," Piper admits.
I poke at my glasses. "At one of our last sessions, she shared that with me, and I told that I didn't reciprocate her feelings."
Her parents glance at their daughter, seemingly anticipating a response.
"There was no mistaking her lack of interest in me," Piper replies. "She made that very clear."
"Piper was my client." I shrug. "I've never had romantic feelings about someone I worked with, let alone a teenager."
Carol glances at her husband, almost as if she's checking to see if he believes me.
He crosses his arms. "Then how did this happen?"
"Like I mentioned on the phone," Piper begins. "I went to the Psi Chi conference in early October, and I ran into Alex."
I'm not going to be the one who points out flaws in her story.
"We spent some time together, and I realized how much we have in common," she finishes.
"You're saying there was no funny business before this conference?" Carol asks incredulously.
We both shake her heads, but Piper is the first to respond. "How could there be? I lived in Northampton and Alex worked at temp jobs all over the country."
Carol lifts her brows. "You're a temp?"
"I'm a licensed therapist," I state. "I work for a company that places counselors in clinics or hospitals all over the country when someone takes a leave of absence."
"Sometimes she works in a certain location for two weeks and other times it's more like five or six months," she explains.
"When Piper and I reconnected, I was working at a clinic in a small community just north of San Diego," I say. "I had no idea we'd hit it off like we did."
Her father visibly grimaces. "I'm sorry if this is an invasive question, but how old are you?"
"I'm 32," I reply. "Eleven years older than Piper."
I watch Piper swallow hard.
"I find it a little strange that you'd be attracted to a college senior," he says.
"So do I," I confess. "I've never dated anyone more than five years younger than me, but I think you'd agree that Piper is far more mature than your average 21-year-old."
"I'm the one who pursued this," Piper jumps in. "I think Alex was just as worried as you about starting something with a younger woman. Over time, we realized we're compatible despite the age gap."
They remain quiet for a moment, and then Bill speaks. "Until my daughter met you, she was attracted to members of the opposite sex."
"That's not entirely true," she answers. "I never told you that I was attracted to girls in high school, because I knew you wouldn't approve."
"And I don't approve now," he complains with a sneer.
Carol leans forward. "Are you saying you were a lesbian in high school?"
"This is probably going to be difficult for you to understand, but I don't define myself as gay," she tries. "I'm drawn to people with similar interests to my own; people who challenge me; people who encourage me to be the best version of myself. That's who Alex is."
Her mom gives her a preposterous look.
"Again, it's not something I expect you to comprehend," she continues. "It's not like I set out to find a female partner—it just sort of worked out that way."
"You're not worried about public perception?" her father asks.
"I've never been worried about that," Piper responds.
"I'll admit that it concerned me at first—like people would judge us as a couple because of our age difference," I say.
"But no one seems to notice, or if they do, they don't care," she replies. "We don't look like we're 11 years apart."
"That's for sure," a voice chimes in from behind.
I turn to see a grinning Cal in the entryway.
Bill eyes him. "This doesn't concern you."
"Piper's my sister, and I want her to be happy." He steps further into the room. "Alex looks a little older, but if I saw them on the street, I wouldn't bat an eye."
Piper smiles at him; I'm sure she's grateful for his support.
"And so what if she's into girls?" Cal continues. "Welcome to the 21st century where people our age finally feel like they have permission to love who they love. It doesn't matter if it's a dude or a chick or if they're black or white." He raises his shoulders. "There's a whole movement towards a kinder, more accepting population. I'm all for anything that makes the world a better place."
Now that Cal is standing next to the sofa, I can tell by his dilated pupils that he's baked. Nevertheless, his statement is profound.
"Call me old school, but that's not how I see the world," Bill replies. "God made us with certain body parts in order to procreate."
"I can see where biology comes into play, and that's a logical point of view," I answer, ready to tackle whatever Bible bullshit he throws our way. "But if you believe in God, and I assume you do." I pause to watch both of her parents not rebuke the notion. "He created me and he created Piper. I don't think he made me wrong, he just made me different—I'm not wired like the majority of people. I don't choose to be gay—I am gay. I live a much more difficult life knowing that about myself, and I believe God didn't 'mess up' when he created Piper and I."
Carol looks away, and Bill sits back with the tip of his eyeglasses touching his lips.
"This doesn't mean I can't or won't have children," Piper adds. "I'm just not interested in having them with anyone other than Alex."
Children? That brings up a whole new topic that I sock away for another, more private conversation.
"Lesbians raising a child?" Her mom shakes her head as if she's thinking what has this world come to?
"There are more than 100,000 gay couples raising families across the country these days. It's not uncommon." She takes my hand. "I'm not saying we're getting married and having children at this point. We're still figuring out how to navigate life as a couple, especially because we live in different states."
Bill abruptly turns to me as if this whole conversation rests on my answers to his questions. "What are your intentions?"
I contemplate his question for a moment before answering, "To love your daughter every day; to support her as she pursues graduate school; to respect her as a woman and an equal partner."
He continues gawking at me, and this whole time I've wondered if he's trying to judge if he can trust me.
"I've never understood how long distance relationships work," Carol mentions, breaking the stare-down competition I seem to be in with her husband. "Do you plan to live near each other in the future?"
"I've applied to the four graduate school programs I told you about," Piper responds. "Alex hopes to get a job wherever I end up, and we'll figure things out from there."
"You're going to relocate to be with my daughter?" her dad asks.
"I've lived in 18 states over three years. It's time that I put down roots." I shrug. "It might as well be close to Piper so we can see if our relationship can function when we're in the same time zone."
"I'm not convinced that my daughter isn't simply going through a phase," he replies.
Piper glares at him. "I can assure you this isn't a phase."
He folds his arms and sits back. "In any event, you're choosing to be with another woman, and I don't support same-sex relationships."
Piper blinks at him. "I'm really sorry to hear that, Dad."
"I'm sorry this is the lifestyle you think you want."
I squeeze her hand, hoping she doesn't go toe-to-toe with him in a battle she won't win.
"We'll see what happens over the course of a year." Her mother gets to her feet. "If you're still together next February, perhaps I'll come around to accepting your relationship. It's just too soon to know if, like my husband said, this is a phase Piper is going through."
I can see tears hanging in Piper's eyes, but she doesn't allow one to fall.
"You have a special daughter," I comment. "I hope you eventually accept her for who she is. It would be a shame to miss out on seeing what an extraordinary woman she'll become."
She takes my hand and pulls me into the kitchen, and as soon as we're out of view, she wraps her arms around me and cries.
I rub her back. "Shhh…It's ok."
"It's not ok," she whispers through tears.
I had a feeling this wouldn't end well, but I applaud Piper for trying to convince her parents that she's still a good person even though she's in a same-sex relationship. I'll never understand how people connect those two things.
She pulls back, wiping her eyes. "I want to get out of here."
I nod, taking her hand and walking out the same door we entered less than an hour ago. "We can go to Nicky's house."
Piper gets into her car, and I get into mine, quickly text Nicky, and then make my way to my old house.
She meets me on the sidewalk. "We lived like two miles from each other this whole time?"
"I had no idea." I smile, glad that her tears have stopped.
"If I would've known that, I probably would've stalked you that summer before college."
I chuckle. "If I would've caught you, we probably wouldn't be where we are today."
She squeezes my hand as we walk to the front door. I still have a key, but I knock first to see if Nicky is home. Although I texted her about coming over, she hasn't messaged back.
"Hey, kids," she answers with a wide smile. "I didn't expect you til later."
We both hug her.
"I texted you a couple minutes ago."
"I was in the shower." She dries her hair with a towel. "Come in."
"I hope this isn't a bad time," Piper offers.
I follow her inside.
"It's fine." She shuts the door. "I take it things didn't go as well as you hoped with the parents."
Piper shakes her head.
I sit next in the chair next to the sofa. "It wasn't terrible, but they didn't welcome us with open arms."
Nicky puts a hand on Piper's shoulder. "Sorry, kid. Parents suck."
That causes her to let out a light laugh. "They really do."
We eat lunch, shoot the breeze, and learn more about Nicky's breakup with the baker. I can tell Piper is grateful for the conversation moving away from what just transpired at her parents' house. I'm sure she'll think about it a lot over the next few days, but a distraction is probably good for her.
