The tower lies in ruin. This is after Platinum Jail's Oval Tower collapsed. It's been half a year since I learned that Ren…Sei was in the hospital in the Old Resident District and went to see him. I was in full disbelief when I saw Ren sleeping on the hospital bed. It looked like Sei at a glance, but when I looked closer, I saw that his attitude and eye color was Ren's. But I still wasn't able to understand what exactly happened. I slowly realized that Ren had returned, and I was so happy that my entire body wanted to scream out. Trying my hardest not to do so, I said this to Ren while trying not to cry.

"…Welcome back."

Ren stayed in the hospital for some time after that. Because he had slept so long and didn't move much, he went through rehabilitation while he was hospitalized. He tried his hardest from the beginning, when just walking looking extremely painful to him. I made an effort to helping him along. As he went on with rehab, he was eventually able to walk on his own. His recovery was so quick that the doctor in charge let him out a week earlier than planned, saying it was alright for him to go home. Rehabilitation still wasn't over, but I was really glad that he was able to be discharged.

"Hey, let's go home."

"Yeah."

The day he was discharged…

While Ren and I slowly walked home from the hospital, I held his hand for support. Ren watched his feet along the way. He was concentrating on his walking. The Old Resident District's streets weren't all that pretty, covered with trash and garbage cans all over the place.

He must've been careful not to trip over any of it. Ren didn't need much help as I lightly held his hand. That was fine for him. We got home in twice the time it usually took, and Ren stood in front of the house, looking at the familiar sight.

"…" He stared out at home with a somewhat distant look with other emotions mixed in that I couldn't read from his expression.

I felt something fill my chest when I saw his expression. It was the first time Ren saw his home…in person. I wonder what he's feeling. Without asking him, I lightly pushed Ren into the house from behind his back. After he came home from the hospital, we continued a simple sort of rehab at home. It was true when the doctor said that his recovery was quick, and Ren was able to move on his own in no time. But even though he was able to move around, Ren didn't skimp out on rehab. It was kind of like Ren to be that way, to be so diligent, and I helped him all the way.
But it still wasn't good for his body when he went beyond his limits. Ren would rest at home while I was out at work, and then we'd do rehab when I got home. It lowered the risk of any accidents happening while I wasn't there that way. And with schedule, Ren and I went through our daily lives together.

It's been around a month after he was discharged. I'm able to relax because I'm off from work. I had finished a late lunch with Ren and I'm lazing around in my room. Granny had left to see an acquaintance in the morning, and had left us breakfast. I made some salted eggplant and chicken seasoned with miso for lunch. I think I might have over seasoned it a bit, but Ren told me it was tasty and ate it. It's easier to hold spoons and forks.

We had a light practice with him going up and down the stairs, and then we went back to my room. Ren is sitting on the bed, reading a magazine on his knees, holding it out with his hand. This is a part of rehab too. It's just some information magazine, not the most interesting thing to read. But Ren told me that reading a magazine was something fresh and new to him. Maybe Ren felt like everything was more new to him than I thought it would be.

"…Hm. Oh, yeah." I suddenly spoke up. As I searched the web, I realized that I was about to grab a hair tie to put my hair up like usual. "I don't need it today." I smiled, putting down the hair tie on the desk.

I'd always leave a tie on my desk and put my hair up when I went out. I didn't want people touching my hair when I had sensation in it, so I'd always tie it up. I could tie it as tight as I wanted it to be, so it wouldn't hurt too much. It wasn't rubber, so it didn't hurt so bad. I don't have sensation in my hair anymore, but it's still a habit.

Because it's a habit, I still do it. It's also nice to feel a little breeze on my neck, and there isn't any reason to stop. So I still put my hair up when I go out. Today's a holiday, so whatever. I looked back to my computer screen. An ad for new Allmate parts catches my eye.

"An Allmate, huh…"

With a small sigh, I look at my Coil. I lost my Allmate Ren, so I decided to put all the handy functions of an Allmate onto my Coil. Traffic, maps, email, notices, phone stuff, all that jazz. I don't really do Rhyme anyway, so it's not like I need an Allmate much. It would've been annoying to keep it, and the truth is that my Coil is enough for me now. Thinking back, I only used Ren all that time not because of his functions, but because he was important to me. Although I wasn't very aware of it at the time.

I left Ren's Allmate frame in my room with the power off. I put it onto Ren's favorite cushion, so it looked as if it was sleeping. I thought about using Ren's default instead of expanding my Coil, but decided not to. Because he's the one I see sitting on my bed, reading a magazine right now.

And besides, I love Ren's Allmate body, and it's important to me. If I used him, I would've given him a different name, but I really didn't like that for some reason.

Even if it's different now, that body is still 'Ren'. So I thought I'd treasure it, even if it didn't work. When I talked to Ren about it, he wasn't really against it. it looked like he had mixed feelings, but he was also a little happy about it.
It's probably special to him as well.

Of course.

It was the body that he was used to being in for all that time. Although he was able to gain a human body, it was all thanks to Sei. It really wasn't Ren's body. Maybe that was the reason he wasn't able to move when he woke up in the hospital. I thought that he was so weak that he'd stay bedridden in the hospital the whole time, but the doctor said the Ren's muscles were only a bit weaker than normal.

It was hard for him to even talk at first, let alone move his limbs. So he head to be fed, helped into the bathroom, held up when he would walk, be changed, practice talking, and all these other things. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't terrible helping Ren when he was giving it his all. In a way, it made me happy to watch him get better.

When he was doing well in rehab and I brought him home, Granny was making dinner in the kitchen. Before, she… I told her every detail about Ren's body was actually Sei's. So she understood, but when she first saw him in the flesh, she seemed pretty surprised.

"Granny."

"What… hah!?" Granny turned around to face me and jumped at the sight of Ren, her body rigid as she gripped the knife in her hand.

"Uh… Well, uh." I began to talk, trying to get the right words to explain this is Ren and that he's home at long last, "You might not believe this…but remember what we talked about? This- is Ren."

"…" Granny stared at Ren with a dumbfounded face.

With a blank face, she listened without a blink or not. But the surprise eventually left her. Her expression turned apologetic. She walked up to Ren and said:

"…Welcome home."

"…" Ren stare silently at Granny.

"Granny…" I murmur.

It sounded like she was saying that to both Ren and Sei. Ren was able to speak better after having been discharged from the hospital. It was hard for him to even make facial expressions at first, but eventually he was able to move around easily. When he was able to move around freely, I noticed that he looked a lot more like Ren compared to when I first saw him. Even though he is technically both Ren and Sei, they have their little differences now. Ren's online-mode avatar was a little more built, and I remember Sei as someone a lot more thin and fragile. Everything seemed to be changing; his skin, eye color, and his voice. So now, I can really recognize him as Ren.

And his height…He was taller than me before.

What about now?

"Hey, Ren. Come here for a sec."

Ren looks up from his magazine, puts it on the bed, and stands up.

"What is it, Aoba?" He rubs his eyes.

It's a bit of an 'oh' moment when I see him do that. This is a habit he's had since he was hospitalized. Recently, he's been rubbing his eyes a lot. When I asked him about it, he just told me that he didn't know himself and did it unconsciously.

When I heard him say that, I…wonder if that was one of Sei's habits. The Sei I never really knew. I didn't have much of a clue, and it could've just been a habit that Ren picked up all of a sudden, but… I had a feeling that it was from Sei.

"Stand up straight. Just like that." I stand up close to Ren, my head reach up to his chest almost touching, and compare our heights with my hand over my head. My hand goes up to about under Ren's chin. "…You're still taller than me in real life, too?" I pout a little, and Ren blinks in surprise.

"It's not because of me, Sei was originally one centimeter taller than you." Ren explained.

"This isn't a measly one centimeter though~!" I whined. Damn it all, can't I be taller for once!

I push my hand onto Ren's chin, and he makes a trouble face. Satisfied with that look, I laugh and pet his head.

"Well, whatever. Show cares." I told him with a grin.

"Really?..." He looked at me hopefully.

I pet his head again to reassure him, and then my gaze moves to Ren's Allmate form. It's a big lump of blue fur, curled up on his favorite pillow.

"When I look at it, it really looks like it's sleeping." I said walking up to the pillow and squat down to look at Ren. Then I start to feel nostalgic, and pet it's head with my eye closed. I used to do this all the time…

"…Aoba." I hear Ren calling out my name. While I pet the Allmate, remembering the past, Ren watches from beside me. "Aoba, that dog… Well, it's an odd way to put it, but is it that precious to you?"

"Of course." I answer with a small smile on my face "It's precious. And it's you, after all. We've been together for so long. Also…" I began to stroke the Allmate's fur. "Isn't it just so fluffy." I teased with a sly smile, ruffling up the fur on its belly. Ren suddenly looks downhearted.

"…I'm sorry, Aoba I don't have the body hair like that now." He apologizes. I look at him and flash a big grin. I can almost see him lowering his ears like he did as an Allmate.

I reflexively reach my hands out to Ren's head and ruffle up his hair. "Sorry, sorry, I said something weird." It was my turn to apologize, though I have a grin on my face. "Don't make that sort of face. This is super fluffy too, see?"

I started to ruffle up his hair again.

"I don't exactly think it's fluffy." He frowned, not so sure about it.

"C'mon, it's fine. It's fluffy to me."

"…If you say so, Aoba." A relieved smile comes to Ren's face, and he suddenly drops his gaze to his hands. When I look, I see his left hand clenched into a fist. Well, he did say something like his left hand hurt this morning.

"How're your hands?" I asked him.

"They still feel a little uncomfortable. But it goes away when I move around."

"Want me to look into it?"

When I say that and grab his hand… I realize something. What do I mean, looking into it? He's not an Allmate anymore. It's not like I need to take out any tools and do maintenance on him. I know that, but I reacted on my own when I heard he wasn't in a good condition. It was always like that before…It feels a little lonely thinking about it. before I notice, Ren is watching me silently, and I pull my hand back in embarrassment.

"Sorry, it's a habit." I apologized to him out of embarrassment.

"No, it's fine." Ren said. "The doctor said that I shouldn't move too much. Let's finish rehab for today."

"Okay." I nod. "Then we've gotta do this."

I inch up to Ren's face and knock our foreheads together. It was a good luck charm when I did maintenance, but now it's a charm whenever we finished with rehab exercises. When we do this, I always feels a little happier and let out a concealed sigh.

"…It always reminds me when we do this."

"Of what?"

"That you're here. I'm really glad that I can touch you."

"Aoba…"

Maybe it's because I'd just gone down nostalgia lane that I feel a little more sentimental this time. A lot of things happened to get here…

But it's because of it all that we're here today. When I think about it, I can't help but enjoy the happiness I have together with Ren.

"Didn't you leave me when we broke out of the tower?"

"Yeah."

"I was really lonely because you were gone. I really thought everyone was gone." I sadly said.

We never talked about these feelings since I met him again in the hospital. He had rehabilitation and all that, so I thought that it'd be better if I didn't mention it. I thought that I shouldn't voice any of these small complaints. But I feel like I should bring it up now. Not as a complaint, but as my honest feelings. When he hears what I have to say, Ren pulls a little distance away from my forehead and lower his eyes apologetically.

"…I'm really sorry about then. I should've disappeared from your conscious back then. I thought I did."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He nod "But the moment I came back to reality, I heard a voice…Sei's voce."

"Sei's?" I asked, completely in shocked.

"He told me to 'Come here' and I felt him pull onto my conscious. And then I noticed that I was in his body."

"Sei called you…" I trailed off before bombing him with questions, "But you could just fit in? Your mind into someone else's body?"

"Aoba and Sei were originally one life form, but you were born as separate twins." Ren explained "And I was originally a part of you. It may have been because I was a fragment of you that I was able to take Sei's body. I think Sei must've known that, too."

…The game that was sent right after I was called about Ren being in Old Resident District's hospital. The present from the princess that was always guiding me. If then… Maybe Sei's consciousness hadn't completely faded by then. Maybe there were scattered fragments of him that were still left behind. Then maybe that was the last thing Sei told me. Giving his body to Ren was truly the last gift he could've given to me.

"It felt familiar when I went into Sei's body."

"Familiar?"

"Yeah." He nods "It was the same as when I was inside you… A sense of security that I had when I went back into you. Maybe because you two were twins."

"Really…"

"But there wasn't anything inside of Sei. He had lost his conscious, and there was nothing. So when my conscious came in, his body started to confirm and change into something like mine."

"…" I look down. There was nothing in Sei. Ren's words prick in my chest. Even though I understand the fact, it's hard to accept that Sei had completely disappeared. Sei and I. We were one life form, but our paths diverged the moment we were born into this world. We can't change that. Knowing that hurts. I can't help myself if there wasn't any other way. Nothing will change even if I think about it now.

"Having a real body was completely different experience. That's why I couldn't move right away, and was wounded from the tower's collapse." Ren told me. "I was awake but unable to move, and then was saved from under the rubble."

"Saved? By who?" I asked, wondering whoever save Ren has my gratitude.

"Those two. The ones who always called themselves your fans." Ren answered.

Virus and Trip…

I remember the shock when it came to light that they were a part of Morphine, and feel bitter.

…Wait up. Virus and Trip?

"Was it them who put you into the hospital and transferred you over to Midorijima Hospital?"

"Yeah. I wasn't awake most of the time I was there, and was in a comatose state. But there was a time when I surface. I sometimes heard their conversations."

The nurse told me that Ren was transferred in from a hospital overseas. But if what Ren said was true, then the ones who transferred him over were Virus and Trip. Which means, that phone call I got…

"How about you make a visit when it's a convenient time for you? That's great. We'll be waiting. Please come and visit. Well, then."

"…I get it." I murmur my gazed lower down.

"What?" Ren asked.

"No, when I got this call, the voice sounded really familiar. It was probably Virus. But I didn't think that he'd call me." I told him and then sigh "…Hah. I really don't get those two. Whether they're on my side or not."

"They're neither. They only do what they want to."

"So they just saved you on a whim?"

"Possibly… They must've thought I was Sei at first. Although I think they noticed later on. 'I don't know what's going on exactly, but it'd be more interesting to let you live than to die here.' I remember them saying something like that." Ren said.

"The hell… Are they still up to something?"

"No, it didn't sound that way. It sounded like pure curiosity to me."

"Pure curiosity, huh." I echoed the words and looked back at Ren "…Well, I guess that's like them." Thinking about them, I nod my head with mixed feelings about it all. I'm not exactly thrilled. But they saved Ren, even if it was for a specific reason, so I should be thanking them.

"They were really a part of Morphine, and a lot of other things…" I could never understand what's going on with those heads of theirs. But I smiled and said:

"But it's because of them that you're here and healthy."

"Yeah."

I bring myself back together and smile at Ren. He responds with a grin, then closes his mouth.

"Ren?"

"…Hm."

Ren stares at me with an earnest expression, maybe remembering something.

"Didn't I tell you that I was conscious while my body was comatose in the hospital?" He suddenly asked.
I nod my head and he continue on.

"…I could always hear your sobs, Aoba." Ren said.

"…! When? Even when you were hospitalized overseas?" I gapped at him.

"Yeah. And still when I was transferred to Midorijima. It felt more like I could hear you inside of my head, rather than from my ears."

…So my voice went through. I thought so from the beginning. Of course, it wasn't like I was screaming or shouting. I always knew, ever since Ren left me. It wasn't that he was gone. We would definitely meet again. With a hopeful wish, I prayed.

'I want to see him.'

Maybe those feelings kept screaming out from inside of me without my noticing. So I couldn't help but think that my feelings had reached Ren now. Considering how Sei and I were once a single being, it wasn't an unbelievable idea.

"The truth is that I couldn't help but want to reply." Ren said "It was unbearable… I wanted to wake up, and go to see you…"

"Ren…" I nearly choked out a sob at the words he spoken to me. As he looks at me, he raises his hand toward my cheek. His fingertips stop right before they touch me… He looks away in hesitation.

"…"

…I know.

Why he looked away and refused to touch me.

This had happened many times before. He's hesitant. He's lost as to whether it's alright for him to touch me. His body was really my twin brother Sei's. Ren went into his body with his guidance.

That's what Sei wanted.

So he doesn't need to feel indebted to him for using his body.

…However.

I understand well why he is so hesitant. I know that the one here is Ren. But, as the same time…

He's my brother.

So I'm hesitant on whether we should touch each other that way. We both understand without saying it, and we haven't slept together once ever since we reunited at the hospital. Like when we had sex when I used Scrap on myself. We held hands, but didn't kiss. Or, we couldn't. Even if we did, we always thought about him. About Sei. I really do want to touch him. And Ren probably feels the same way.

But…

Noticing my hesitation, an anxious mile drifts to Ren's face, and he lowers his head.

"I understand how you feel, Aoba. Isn't it the same for you?" His smile drop low and a frown was soon curl up.

"…"

I didn't speak any word and he soon decided to say the words that made my heart beat stop and my body gone cold.

"So let's stop. You'll likely regret it the more you hesitate like this."

With a sadden look on his face, Ren shifts away from me and sits down on the bed. While I watch him, I wonder:

…Really, is it okay to let it end now?

I think Sei probably understood the feelings between Ren and I. He knew, so he gave Ren this physical body. Both I and Ren wanted to return to reality and be able to touch one another. So Sei used the last of his power and granted that wish.

But is it alright to just leave it at this?

I really want to touch him. I can't stop myself from feeling that way.

I think…Ren might feel the same way too.

But we can't tell each other. Is it okay to do that with Sei's body? I gave up on answering that question a bunch of times. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it sounded…

…But, I really hate leaving it like this, after all. Being able to touch Ren in real life, I can't give up now that wish granted.

There were times when I came to a conclusion that it was just selfishness on my part. That I should've been happy with what we had now. Because Sei's already given us more than enough miracles.

Yes, this is a miracle.

If it didn't happen, then we would've gone back to our regular days before we went into Platinum Jail. That should be enough for me. I'm back to what my life was like before, so it'd be weird to feel like it wasn't enough.

But I'm… greedy.

I hate it.

I want to touch him more. I want him to touch me. I love Ren. So I can't stop myself from being greedy. I want to hold him tight. Is that so wrong?

Maybe I was interpreting Sei the wrong way. What if I'd actually make Sei feel sad by having these feeling? I thought about it over and over, guilty. But I would always reach the conclusion that maybe I was wrong about that.

Sei couldn't hear me anymore, so maybe I just wanted to convince myself. I've got no basis. But I kept thinking it was that way. That Sei won't blame me for what Ren and I choose. I still don't know how exactly to take Sei's intentions. Whether I was right or wrong about them. I'm lost on a lot of things. But I still want to do what I want to do.

Because I don't think loving Ren and wanting to touch him is a bad thing. So it's… Okay right?

I close my eyes and thought on one word.

Sei…

I reopen my eyes and made a choice.

"…Ren." I called out for him. I walk up to the bed and sit down next to Ren. I softly place my hand on his cheek.

"…Aoba?" He asked me as his eyes show confusion as he looks at me.

I wordlessly stroke his cheek, and brush my fingers against his lips. Ren's lips. But also Sei's. I want to love both of them. I have no memories of being together with Sei, let alone touching him. So maybe it's weird… To want to love them both, but in different ways. I don't mean it in a weird way, and maybe wanting to have sex in order to get my feelings across may just be my excuse. It's convenient for me, but I've started to feel a little overly sentimental.

"Ren, I love you."

I told him. I finally confessed my feelings for him. My love to Ren.

"…Aoba."

"I love you and I want to touch you, and want you to touch me. That's not bad is it?" I asked him.

"…"

Ren looks away, trying to find the right answer. This is the first time I'd been so blunt about my feelings. And we always avoid this topic. I look away too, acting like it's forbidden for me to touch him. But I need to knock this shit off. If not, then we'll always be at a standstill. So I look directly at Ren's face.

"If you're worried because your body is really Sei's… To me, both of you are important to me in different ways. Both you and Sei, Ren. But you're the one here with me now." I stop talking and let out a sigh full of my swelling emotions. "I always, always wanted to see you. I was always waiting for the day to come. Always, ever since you disappeared."

"…"

"Have you thought about why Sei gave you his body? He surely gave you the body you wished for so you could be happy."

"…But-" Ren's frown is conflicted as he looks into my eyes "But even so… …I don't think it's right for me to use Sei's body for my own desires. How could I possibly apologize?"

Desire.

That word made my heart thump. I understand what we're really hesitant to do. Both Ren and I feel like we'd trampling over Sei's feeling with our ugly desires. We feel terrible guilt. So we can't touch one another.

"I know that this was a miracle that came from Sei's kindness." Ren continues to speak "But because of that… I couldn't let myself use it for my own selfish reasons. And aren't you confused, too, Aoba? Your long lost… My body is really your twin's."

"…That…" I try to find the right words to say but… I can't deny that. No matter how many times I've come to terms with it, it's still a wall between us. "But I guess… this is just me being selfish. Because I'm greedy for wanting to touch you some more…?"

"Aoba…"

"I know that I should be happy enough just being together with you. But, really… You're right here with me. Even though I'm close enough to touch you…" I feel my throat tighten up in the middle of my words and I stop talking to swallow. I'm muddled about what I should say, how I should say it…

What spills out next is a question I can't help but ask.

"…What should we do?"

I'm completely complaining.

So not cool…

But, it's my true feelings.

I'm starting to feel uneasy about asking him that, feeling like it can't stay like this. I understand what Ren's saying, so I'm anxious. Maybe it really is a better idea to give up here… If I give up and end it here, my unhappiness will disappear and I won't regret doing something that can't be undone.

…Regret.

Would I regret it if we move forward from this? Do I really think that stopping now would be better? Then, what about Ren? When I look at Ren for an answer and see him clam up with a difficult expression, he pulls my head toward him.

"…Ah!" I gasp out in surprise and confusion, it's something sudden, but I don't move away. Ren's body heat is flowing into me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. I'm really happy that I can be with you in reality like this, and I'm truly grateful to Sei for that. But I'm hesitant on making this body my own. And… …and the feelings of wanting to touch you too. They grow stronger every day, and it's bothering me."

"Ren…"

"You and Sei are the most important things to me, so I want to treasure you both. That's why I thought I had to protect you and him. I said earlier that I didn't want to use Sei's body for my own desires, and all the more because you were hesitating too." Ren strokes my head slowly. The feeling in my hair has already disappeared so Ren's hand right now is really comfortable.

"But there's no point if I just end up making you sad. Even though Sei made a miracle happen, it wouldn't have made anyone happy. That wasn't…what Sei wanted, was it? I can say that for sure."

"…"

"…So, Aoba." He peers into my face. And he isn't looking away this time. He's so close that our noses nearly touched. "Tell me on more time. That you love me."

"…Hah." I nearly choke out a sob; I swallow the feeling of my heart rising into my throat. The words I gave him before. But they have a different meaning this time. I slowly open my mouth, ready to say the words that will change our relationship.

"I love you, Ren."

"…!" Ren pushes his lips together and lets out a deep breath. His hand petting my head goes to my back and pulls me close to him.

"I… love you too, Aoba." Ren buries his head into my shoulder and tells me in a voice blurred by emotion. "…Aoba." He slowly said. "I want… to hold you."

"…Ah …Yeah." I nod as the words make my heart speed up in my chest.

We were always far from normal. Ren was a fragment of my personality and didn't exist in real life. And he formed his own personality and was placed in my brother's body. All this crazy stuff. I don't know what the right thing to do is, but I don't think I'm wrong in this situation. There's no point in suffering through this unbelievable mess. We'll have more things to worry about in the future.

But if there's anything I believe in… It's our feelings for each other. I love Ren, and he loves me. And that's why we're here now. Even if we made the wrong choice, our feelings are no lie. If we can move on from this, we'll have crossed many hurdles that we worry and suffered over. We can only move forward. That's for the best, probably.

Because I decided to move forward with Ren. There's no other way than that. It might be like walking on nails. But… I don't care if my feet become all bruised and bloody. Because that's the path we've chosen.

"…"

Just like I did, Ren slowly traces his fingers over my lips. We look at each other for a few moments… And our lips meet for the first time since we were in Scrap.

"Mn… ah…"

With light kisses, I take Ren's hand and press it to my chest right between my breasts. I want to show him how painful it is to breaths and how hard my heart is throbbing. When our lips part, Ren takes my hand and places it on his chest. His pulse is rapid, although not as fast as mine.

"It's not that we're sharing sensation like we were last time." Ren said "so now when I touch you, I know that your pulse speeds up. I'm happy."

Those words make me happy and I hold the hand to my chest tighter. "Me too. Since I can't tell from the look on your face. That… your heart is beating so fast."

"Yeah." Ren quietly smiles, brings my hand to his mouth, and licks my fingertips.

"Ah!" A shock runs down my back. He thoroughly licks my fingers one by one from top to bottom and lightly sucks on my thumb, then he moves his mouth away. It's really sexy and makes my heart thump harder, and I let out a hot sigh when he takes his lips off of me.

"Hah…"

"Aoba…"

Ren leans to kiss the tip of my nose and then pushes me down onto the bed.

…And then a question pops into my head now of all times.

"W-Wait a sec."

"…?"

He stops, and his face darkens with anxiety.

"You don't want to? If you don't then…"

"Ah, no, sorry, it's not that… H-Hey."

Oh shit, I don't know how I should say this. Ren frowns, waiting for my next words. I can't say it now if you make that sort of face…

…But never mind. Nothing to hide since we've come this far. Shaking off the embarrassment, I open my mouth and let it go."

"Hey, I know that last time, but… do I have to always be the bottom?" I nervously asked and averted my eyes.

"Bottom?" Ren tilt his head confused not knowing what I'm talking about.

"Uh… well… I don't like being the one doing nothing, so…" I struggle to find the right words to say. "…Er, the one who takes it?"

"…Oh. I know what you're trying to say." Ren blinks, looking worried. "Are you saying that you don't like to be on the receiving end?"

"R-Receiving… It's embarrassing, putting it that way. But yeah, I guess? I was just thinking."

I notice it a long time ago, but… Am I really such a prude compared to other people? Or like have some questionable morals or something? I didn't give a shit when I was acting like a punch in the past, but I don't think it was my fault exactly. I didn't do it, but it was normal to get high with other dudes and have sex. I saw it happen all the time, and I guess got used to it… I didn't think about it deeply, and not that I do…

"Then today I'll be what you call the 'bottom'."

"Eh? Really…!?"

"Yeah."

It's unsettling how he can say something so surprising with his usual face and a nod. Does he really understand what he's saying? It's not like he doesn't know, right… Catching my look of uneasiness, Ren sprawls out on the bed.

W-Woah are we really going to do this.

I awkwardly hang myself over Ren and stare down at his face. The bed creaks with the weight of two people.

"Then… here I go."

"Yeah."

With a jerk, I slowly lower my head to his body. First, I lightly kiss his neck.

"…Mmn."

He jerks when I touch his abdomen with my slightly sweaty palms.

"Haah…"

That sigh spurs my whole body into action, sparking my nerves. I lick Ren's lips and then lick a trail from his next to his chest. As I do so, it becomes hard to breathe and I feel the tension in the room growing.

My heart is beating a lot.

I wonder what it is. The fact that I'm doing this myself is making me rather nervous but that's wrong too.

I wonder what it is… maybe it's something like I can't believe this is really happening. Will Ren feel good like this? Is it okay?

I start thinking a lot of things like that and the pressure starts to build. Is it cause I'm falling into the mood? Or is it because Ren is my partner? I don't really understand the reason but I understand that I'm awkward.

It's not really my first time but what is this…

"…Aoba." I hear Ren call my name.

"…Hm?" Right as I start up again, Ren's hand lightly touches my head. I guess it really isn't that good… I glance up to him, nervous. "Not that good?"

"…No, not that." He flashes a troubled smile… and suddenly grabs my arms.

"Uwah!" I yelped in surprise as he flips our bodies over and switches places. Now he's looking down at me. "Ren…!?"

Something changes in him while he looks at me apologetically. He looks really eager somehow…

"I'm sorry, Aoba." Ren apologized with a troubled look on his face. "It wasn't bad, but… how should I say it, I did it on impulse. Your actions shook me up."

Eh, you mean…

"Are you turned on?" I asked, astonished that I manage to rile him up.

"…I don't know if that's the right expression, but most likely."

"…"

Ren's turned on?

I blank out for a second, but then I start to feel happy. Ren was always calm and collected before, so him being riled up like this is a nice sight to see. But it feels like Ren isn't used to that sort of thing, and is having issues dealing with himself.

I'm happy about it. It's pretty cute. I failed trying to be the 'top', but it's nice to see Ren be straightforward with his emotions.

…And as I think about that, Ren pulls my top and bra up while kissing me. One hand brushes gently on my breasts and cuffs it in his hand, while the other hand impatiently undoes my belt. Ren pulls my shirt and ba over my head and kisses my body while squeezing my breast and then puts one hand inside my underwear.

"…Mmn? …Ah!" The second Ren's hand touches me I shudder. His hand touches my clitoris, fingers shaking. But I notice Ren moving around even more than that. "Ren…?"

What is he getting at? Ren just looks at me, moving down my thighs and pushing them outwards. He slowly moves to removing both my shorts and underwear and lie face-down, bringing his face to my vagina as he softly has his hand on either side of my thighs.

Huh…?

Wait, is he-!

"Ren…!"

"Please, just stay like that."

"But…ah!" As soon as I think to move my body to escape, Ren gets his tongue stick out of his mouth and gently lick my clitoris before I can. He lightly licks it at first, but then stuck his tongue inside of me. "Uwah… ah…mmm!" A shock runs down my back, making me lose my breath. I can feel myself about to scream out and cover my mouth with a hand.

"…Hff… hah… Mmn!..." I can feel him lick all over my inner walls. "Ah!... Mmn!..."

Taken by the wet sensation, my hips begin to throb. Oh God what to do… My mind is caught in a panic, blanking white. I can hear the wet sounds coming from Ren, just making my embarrassment worse. He's like, licking me… But it isn't like I don't like it.

That is pretty surprising and embarrassing too, and to be with him like I wanted to is… so I don't think about stopping what he is doing…

"Ah…"

"…Ngh…"

"Ha, Ren… Ngh…" I loosely grab onto his hair, and he stops and looks at me. the heated look in his eyes is so different from how they usually look that it makes my heart throb.

"Aoba, does it feel good?"

"Ngh! Don't ask me that…!"

"It's important."

"… …It feels good, if it didn't I wouldn't be like this…" I told him feeling my face reddening from embarrassment.

"I see." Ren beams a relieved smile and then gets back to what he was doing.

This is way too embarrassing…

But Ren is giving it all he has to pleasure me. And it's the first time for him to do this, too… That thought along makes me feel it even more. He doesn't know how to do it, so he's a little clumsy at oral. His canine teeth would sometimes hit my clitoris.

But it isn't too bad.

Oh god…am I some masochist if I'm fine with pain…

"Ha…" Ren pulls his tongue out of me and starts to lick my outside thoroughly, like he's trying to eat me.

When I barely open my eyes, I meet Ren's upward gaze. My heart jumps and I shut my eyes in a panic.

"…"

He must think I look hilarious, I can feel his breath on me. I reopen my eyes and then he sinks his tongue back deep inside of me. He began to sweep his tongue around me diligently, his hands working on my inner thighs as he began to stroke them.

The sound of wetness starts to become louder and the throbbing in my lower body becomes more intense. "Ah fu ku… ah… …fu…" I'm stiff everywhere, enough that it feels like my hips are floating.

My precum and his spit mix together as they drip down my vagina. He let go on of my legs and uses his fingers to pick up some of the mixture running down my vagina and then smears it onto my entrance and was soon join in with his tongue.

"Hff…ah…!"

He rubs against my vagina with his fingers and tongue, pushing them in with a bit of force. But because he's been giving me head, I barely feel any pain or discomfort from it.

"Ngah… …ha…Ungh…ha…!"

As he pulls his fingers and tongue in and out, the pleasure begins to heighten. A numbness starts to collect in my waist, and I can't control myself.

"Ren…cl-ose…ha…"

"…" Ren silently looks at me and moves his hand faster than before. His fingers start to come in more smoothly, stretching my insides and his tongue along with it.

"Ren…!? U ah…idiot, let g-…!" At this rate, inside his mouth…! I screw my body this way and that but Ren won't let me go. "…Ah…Aa…!" I grab Ren's hair thinking to stop him but instead I end up coming immediately. In the end… I ended up coming in his mouth.

"…Idiot…!" Exhausted after coming, I clumsily pull my hips away. It's too late still, and a thin string of translucent liquid bridges between my vagina and Ren's lips. He swallows it down with a gulp and licks the rest off of his lips.

"Uh, Ren… Did you swallow…?"

"Yeah."

"…What is wrong with you…" Feeling guilty and sorry and in distress I grab Ren's face with both of my hand. Nothing's started and he suddenly swallowed…

No, it's not like I'm unhappy, and I'm incredibly happy that he went that far for me but… It's okay to spit out a little at least and I rub his lips with my thumb. Then he grabs my arm and kisses me.

"Wai- Ren…fwah!" I try to call out for him but he refuse to answer me.

He opens his mouth as if trying to bite my lips, and ferociously takes my tongue. I can tell through this kiss that he's very aroused.

"Ngh…" Ren let out a low moan from our kiss. The kiss tastes a little bitter and weird… My cum, I guess. To taste your own cum…

…Ah, fuck it.

Ren keeps indulging in our kisses for a while, and pulls away when it's too hard to breathe. He pushes his forehead into my shoulder, which is a little adorable.

"…I want to be inside of you."

"…!?" My face flushed a deep red color from his words.

Covered in his hot breaths, and intense sensation shakes my spine. His voice is different, filled with intense lust. It makes me happy to see this side of him now that he's shown such raw emotion. He grabs my hips and changes position. I strip off my shirt and bra and lie face down instead of assuring him with words. He snatches my hips up, with my ass in the air.

…I guess this position is a little embarrassing.

"Aoba…" He takes off all his clothes too and hangs over me. He drops kisses onto my back, lining his hot dick up to where my entrance is in my ass.

"Ungh…" He slowly pushes in. It really is…tight. It feels different from when his tongue and fingers stretches me in my front entrance.

"Aoba, are you okay?" Ren wraps his arm around me and stokes my chest like he's worried.

"…" I sigh and nod. It's painful but not so much that I can't bear it.

"If it's that painful then maybe it's better to stop…

"…" I don't want to stop. I think that immediately. "It's fine so… don't stop…"" I say the words as I gasp for air.

Even if it hurts or is painful I don't want him to stop. I want to go forward with Ren. Because of that we made it here together like this. It doesn't matter even if my body hurts.

Because I'm happy right now.

"Until you're all the way in…" I gasp out the words.

"Aoba…" Ren kisses my back again and carefully presses into me. I'm not all wet because I had just come. Ren notices that and starts to pump me.

"Ngh…ah…" It feels like it tickles a little and a sweet sound comes out of me. I breathe shallowly and wait for Ren to come all the way into me.

"…" Ren breathes a deep sigh into my neck and stops moving.

The place where we're connected is completely spread and I feel like I can hear a creaking sound. But I can also feel Ren's stomach glued tightly to my back.

This is actually the first time that Ren's had a real body… and it's Sei's.

That thought flickers in the corner of my mind. Truthfully speaking there's no way that matter could completely disappear from my concern. But right now touching Ren feels really good.

Of course the place where Ren entered hurts but, the fact that I can touch Ren in reality makes me happy and puts me at ease. This is Ren's heat, and the feel of Ren's skin. The feeling that I imagined over and over again is actually here in reality right now.

…What about Ren.

I wonder if he feels good touching me. Once before we shared feeling like this but there's no way that kind of thing could happen in reality.

That's why I wonder how Ren feels now that he has a real body.

"Re…!?" When I think to ask that Ren suddenly pounds into me. He trusts into me, holding me around the middle with one arm. "A m ha…! R-Ren…!?"

"…Haa…Aoba…"

I feel his warm breath and a little bit of wetness from his tongue on my ear. Ren takes my earlobe into his mouth and I shrug my shoulders when it tickles.

Surely, Ren feels good too.

Even if we don't say it, and we can't share our feeling silently anymore, I know. If not, Ren's body wouldn't be this hot.

I strain myself so I can turn my head back a little and reach back one arm to grab Ren's head so I can kiss him.

"U mu…"

"Fu…"

Ren moves hotly and entangles our tongues, sucks my lips, and nips at me. While I receive that, a sweet pleasure gradually rises up inside of me from him thrusting into me. As Ren continues to move inside of me I'm attacked by goosebumps.

"Aa…ku ha…"

"…Aoba…"

He suddenly thrust into me hard and before I realize it I've broken our kiss to gasp. Has Ren… figured out the place where I responded from before? as if he's confident in that place, he pounds into it over and over again.

"Ha… Ah n…" My hips sway as Ren starts to work my vagina hard with his fingers inside of me.

"…Haa…"

"Ugah…! Ahhh…hii. Ngh, ah!" I close my eyes and concentrate on the place where Ren is spreading me wide. I'm feeling it so much it's hard to breathe and tears prick the corners of my eyes.

"Haa Ah… Fu ah…" I'm covered in sweat and suddenly Ren stops moving. "…?" I was pushed to the edge and now I feel like I'm waking up from a dream as I turn to look back at Ren.

Ren breaths hotly against my neck and presses his forehead against my neck. "…I want to properly see Aoba's face. The face of you feeling me." Muttering that, he grabs my shoulders.

"Is it okay?"

"That's…"

"If you don't want it, Aoba, I won't force it."

"…"

If he whispers it in such a sad voice like that… I can't say that I don't want it.

Basically he wants to change positions so he can see my face. Letting him see my face while I'm feeling this is a little… But I shouldn't feel embarrassed to show my face now. We've come this far so…

"…" In resignation I start to turn myself over slowly so that Ren doesn't come out from inside of me. When I finally look at Ren's face again, his face is flushed and his eyes are wet.

"Ren…" I hug Ren who's looming over me tightly with both arm and place a kiss on his cheek.

Ren lick me in an answer and starts moving again. "Aoba…"

"Fu… ah…"

It's different from before, him penetrating me from the front. Letting him see my face is embarrassing but right in front of me is Ren's feverish face… Seeing that as I embrace him is an extreme turn on.

"Ren… fu ah… …"

While staring straight into my face Ren picks up his pace. I chew on Ren's lips without realizing it as intensifying pleasure creeps up on me. I seriously feel like my face is about to burst into flame.

But Ren said he wanted to see if so I don't want to hide it from him. My breasts brush against his chest and I thought I heard a faint growl coming from Ren's throat. It's weird to say… but I feel so much closer to being one with Ren with our separate bodies than I ever did when we were in Scrap. We've become one. That's how it feels like.

"Ah, ungh…Hck, ah!" With Ren's movements my body slides back and forth against the sheets. I wrap both arms around Ren's back so at the same time I can feel Ren deep inside of me.

"Haa ah…! Fu… ah"

"…ha…"

I suddenly feel a large wave spreading inside of me as Ren pounds into me and my whole body is enveloped in numbing pleasure. I'm close to my limit.

I want to convey that to Ren so I hold him tight and dig my nails into his shoulders. In that heat, Ren licks my nose.

"Ren, ah… ah u…a…already…"

"Ah… haa…"

I hug Ren's head hard and hold myself ready as a huge wave overcomes me.

"…Ah…! Ah…!" He's thrusting so deeply inside of me… "…Ua Aaaa…!" I curve as though I'm releasing myself from holding back that large wave of pleasure.

"…" At nearly the same time as I cum Ren thrusts hard inside of me. He holds his breath, holding me so tight it hurts… "U…!"

It seems like Ren came too. I can feel fluid flowing into me.

"Haa…haa…" I fix my breathing by taking deep breaths, and while gasping Ren looks into my eyes.

"Ha… Aoba."

Looking at that face with narrowed eyes I feel like it's more defenseless like usual and I hug his head in my arms.

"Ha…" A deep sigh spills from my lips. Finally, I was connected to Ren. Thinking that a strange feeling swells in my heart. It feels like we've climbed over something… But there still a little bit of guilt and bitterness mixed with relief.

I can't say it's a great feeling. But, that feeling is unbearably dear. I think that we finally have come this far.

"…" Ren have been holding me quietly for a while.

I feel that Ren surely has the same thoughts as me. after staying still for a little bit Ren rubs his nose into my hair that's splayed over my neck.

"It smells like you, Aoba." He said.

"Heh. Of course it does. You know, you smell like you too." I replied with a smile. I bring my nose closer to Ren's hair, taking a big sniff.

"What does it smell?"

"Hm…It's kinda a kind smell?"

"A kind smell? I can't imagine something like that." He moves a little with a laugh.

But I can really smell a kind scent from Ren. It's what you would call a smell that's close to the sun. a nostalgic, warm scent.

This scent…

I feel like I've smelled this scent before. I have a feeling that Ren smelled like this when he was an Allmate, though I never really paid attention to it. But right now Ren's body is Sei's. Even so he has the same scent as before so I can't help but think that this is Ren's scent. That makes me feel happy and strange at the same time and I take a deep breath of Ren's hair.

"Aoba, that tickles."

"Sorry."

I lift my face from being buried in Ren's hair and press my forehead against his to stare into his eyes. This is always the charm we do after rehabilitation so Ren shows a strange expression.

"Aoba?"

"Because we'll always be together."

"…!"

That's…my true wish and my pledge to Ren.

That time when I used scrap we exchanged these words as well. But the nuance at the time was a little different. It meant that even if we couldn't hold each other again, I would still have Ren in my heart.

It's different now.

Ren is here, and we'll be together tomorrow and the day after. Of course not only good things will happen and there are still things that we will worry about and that will trouble us.

Even so I decided that I would be with Ren. That's why I vow it once again. I do it with this special ceremony that we've done since he was an Allmate. And I speak the following words.

The words that we have always said, min and Ren's.

"Thank you, always."

Ren smiles softly as an answer to that.

"The pleasure is mine." He warmly replied.