I uncovered my face to find the lights were out, and Cody was laying next to me. I let out a sigh, and almost let out a laugh at how dumb he seemed to be at times. I went to the bathroom to wash the tear stained cheeks I had, the tears had dried on my face so, I felt disgusting. I cleaned myself up, and decided to take a nice hot shower to release the pain my body was in. I checked the time on the digital watch I had which read, 12:05am.

I didn't mind, and after pulling on my pajamas, I felt the sadness wash over me again. Sure, I felt somewhat better, but I was still feeling unloved. Once, I had got done doing whatever I needed to, I was unable to go back to sleep thanks to my mess of a mind that kept wandering. I had noticed the other bed where Zack slept was empty, and he'd probably never talk to me or look at me ever again which made me feel worst.

"What time is it?" Cody mumbled, snapping me back to reality. He was rubbing his eyes, and yawning.

"Snack time." I smirked, but I wasn't hungry.

"Already?" Cody was still yawning as he clumsily got out of the bed, and slightly tripped over the covers.

My eyes raked over him, and I grimaced. I didn't realize he had left the room sometime while, I had been out cold.

"Cassidy, why are you just sitting there, staring at me? I'm hungry, let's go." Cody spoke, almost catching me off guard as he took hold of one of my hands. His hair was a mess, and he was in his matching red pajamas. He normally wasn't one for messes.

I let him drag me along with him to find something to snack on. I found it weird that they both needed a midnight snack, but at this point there wasn't an option to question it.

"I haven't been too hungry these days. I have been losing my appetite a lot after what I tried." I mumbled followed by a yawn. I sat down as Cody looked for food, and once he'd found what he was looking for he sat by me with a bothered expression on his face.

"You thought about doing it again last night." Cody mumbled as he stared at the snack he had chosen like he was seeing right through it. He seemed to have confirmed his own suspicions without me even having to utter one word. He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, and he pushed away the food he had picked out. He looked ready to cry, "I'm beginning to think, I don't matter to you. What am I to you?"

I was confused by his words.

"Don't you start with me too. You know what you are to me." I was on the brink of breaking down for a second time. Why was everyone choosing to stress me out?

Cody didn't look convinced.

"Maybe, what Z-"

"You seem to be the only one on this stupid boat who cares about me. Don't push me overboard again, I am sick of people thinking they know how it feels to hurt. You don't know how it truly feels so, don't act all hurt." I growled at Cody, I was seriously at my breaking point with him.

Cody shot me a glare like I had just wounded him. He opened, and closed his mouth not sure what to say. After about five minutes, a thoughtful look crossed his mind, and he seemed to rethink what he was going on about earlier.

"You're right, Cassidy. I'm sorry, I'm worried for your sake. I need to go back to bed." Cody mumbled, not bothering to have a midnight snack after all.

I was surprised, but said nothing of his behavior. I felt guilty like my words had been something I shouldn't have said. Maybe, I was a failure that nobody wanted, and they only put up with me to see me through until I came of age. I agreed with my conclusion, considering Carey hadn't written me back over email, and she hadn't called me. Not to mention, Mr. Moseby was weird around me, and no one bothered to really acknowledge my presence.

The weight of the world had come slowly crashing down upon me as I couldn't take the pain anymore. I didn't really want to be alive with people who looked at me like I was only a nuisance. I had almost made everyone happy when I tried to kill myself the first time. Maybe, I wasn't fit for the world to live in.

"Are you alright? Cassidy?" Cody called from the kitchen doorway. His face held no emotions.

My heart sunk lower. Why did everybody hate me?

I sat down on the floor, and brought my knees up to my chest with my breathing becoming irregular as my vision blurred. I was crying uncontrollably, and I knew it. I also knew no one cared.

"I didn't mean what I was going to say. I'm just tired." Cody mumbled, sitting down next to me, and not knowing how to respond.

"So am I, but you don't see me telling you to basically go try, and off yourself a second time. Why do you hate me? Why does everyone on the boat hate me?" I went into a panic, knowing the panic in my questions.

Cody looked thoughtful a moment. His turned into a distressed look as he opened his mouth.

"Nobody hates you, maybe you know who, but I don't hate you." He sounded anxious, and like he was avoiding the use of the word 'love.'

I wiped my eyes, and furrowed my brow in question. I turned to him, grimacing.

"Are you, and Bailey still-?"

"No, and I don't want to talk about the reason behind why we're not together. I was dumb enough to reveal my true feelings to her for someone else."

"I thought you liked her. Who is-?"

"Cassidy, I am uncomfortable talking about this subject with you. Could you let it go?"

"Fine." I mumbled, and wondered who the other person was.

"Do you want to go, and watch some Netflix?" Cody asked, changing the subject entirely.

I didn't want to think about it, and halfheartedly agreed.

"Sure." I mumbled, and he helped me up off of the floor. I knew there was trouble in what you call paradise, and I didn't like it.