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"I know that now," he admitted, "but I didn't in the beginning, okay. It's nice to know though, that you still feel the same way about me. My feelings for you never changed either."
We smiled at each other. Happy for this moment of time and curious to see what was next to come.
Chapter 10
That day seems to be so long ago, when it had only been yesterday.
Dimitri and I sat there for some more hours and talked about everything and nothing.
Flashback
"So.." I started, unsure how to phrase this.
"So?" he asked expectantly.
"What is it you want to know? I can see you have a question, but don't know how to ask." Even after all this time he could still read me like an open book.
"Roza," His nickname for me made me look up. "Just ask whatever is on your mind. You can ask me whatever you want to."
Taking a deep breath I begged for my voice to be steady.
"I got that you and Tasha just had one date and I don't want to sound immature and insecure…"
Trying to calm down a bit, I took another breath.
"It's just that I can't get it out of my head. She's here and if I can get to that conclusion based on her welcome earlier, she isn't on the same page as you are. Obviously she things you guys are more than just friends or at least you guys have the potential to be more."
He stopped playing with my hair. "That wasn't really a question Rose."
"I know, I just want to know what happened."
He sat upright.
"Not in detail of course," I hurried to explain before this would blow up in my face. "Just tell me that I don't have to worry about giving us another chance when there might be another woman in your heart and life."
"Oh Roza," he said, his voice calm and full of love and laughter.
"You silly woman." As he continued playing with my hair, he also continued talking.
"First of all, there will never be another woman beside you in my heart. Second of all, Tasha and I just had one date. We've been at a bar and I barely talked to her. So I don't believe she enjoyed it or wants to have another date."
Before he could say another word I spoke up. "Comrade how can you be so blind. She practically undressed you with her eyes. She's clearly interested in you"
"Comrade… I really missed hearing you say this." With a peck on my forehead he smirked and spoke again.
"She can hope for whatever she wants to. As long as you want to keep working on our marriage, I'll never start anything with her, or any other woman that might comes along."
And with another kiss we closed this topic. No matter his beautiful promises, I wouldn't stop worrying about Tasha until I was a hundred percent sure she wasn't after my man.
It felt good saying that again. My man. Even if it was just in my mind. I was on the best way to get my husband back and that made me so indescribably happy.
"Can I ask you something as well?" he interrupted my thoughts.
"Of course." I answered, unsure what kind of question to expect.
"How come you used your maiden name… and not Belikova?" he asked nervously.
I could hear in his voice that it was an important question for him.
"It's just that it hurt… You just left and I had to start all over again and when I came here, I wanted a clean break and start as myself. So I used my maiden name to avoid the pain." I tried to explain it as best as I could.
"Oh, okay." He acknowledged.
"What? What did you thought was the reason?"
He just grumbled without answering.
"Come on, you can tell me everything as well, I hope you know that?!" I tried to get him to answer.
"Okay, It's just that I thought maybe you've been ashamed or wanted to get rid of every connection to me."
He looked kind of scared and hurried to explain himself further.
"It sounds silly, I know, but after I hurt you so much, I couldn't be sure, what you would do, to erase me…"
This answer hurt my heart.
Had he really thought I would do that?
"Is that true? That's what you thought?" I would have laughed at the switched roles we had now.
At the beginning of this conversation he had asked me the same questions.
But the mixture of pain and shame on his face kept me from laughing.
"Honestly, that's the dumbest answer I have ever heard. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you told me, but how could you believe that I would want to get rid of that name because of any other reason than to avoid being reminded of the pain of losing you. I have always been proud to be a Belikova and I'll always will."
With that he smiled and I gave him a peck on the cheek.
"You're not the only one at fault. I pushed you away and that hurt you as well. So I am just as much to blame for this. With my actions I only increased your pain unnecessarily, our pain. And I can never apologize enough for it." It felt to good to talk about all of this and to finally be able to admit my guilt in this mess.
I returned to my room after two more hours of talking and kissing. This feeling was so good, I was at a loss for words. Me. Rose Hathaway. I mean, Belikova.
Although I was happy, it felt kind of rushed for my heart and my head to keep up with the constant changes.
But no matter how rushed I thought the reconciliation with Dimitri was, it still felt right and that was the most important thing.
When I arrived back home, my friends still haven't returned from their classes.
I was glad I had a little time to adjust to all these new information and to the fact that I would really give Dimitri and our marriage anther chance.
That also meant, I had to tell my friends about our past. About all of it, not just some half-truths.
I explained to Dimitri why I never told my friends before and luckily, he understood.
Since neither of us ever mentioned anything about our past, but the fact that we've been dating some time ago, I planned to tell them when we both felt the time was right.
This was something you shouldn't tell someone in passing. You have to take your time. So for the time being we would just tell them that we'll be trying dating again and see where things lead.
End of flashback
And that's what we did.
It was like someone turned on a switch and we finally got back together. Of course our problems weren't solved completely, but we had a major breakthrough.
This morning, before we all left the building for classes, I mentioned to my friends that I talked to Dimitri yesterday and that we wanted to give our relationship another try. The guys had already been there to pick up us girls, so everyone knew and no one was surprised when Dimitri showed up to take me to breakfast.
Even though none of them really said anything about my news, I could see that they had their thoughts and doubts. Somehow they all kept their opinions to themselves though.
Their doubts were only natural. They had close to no information about what happened back then, so they hade no idea that our relationship had been serious enough to end in a marriage with an unplanned child.
However none of them voiced their concerns, but I was positive that they would speak up when they had time to let this think in, or when we'll end up telling them.
Most classes had been uneventful. We got some looks here and there, but that was to be expected, since it was common knowledge that we never got along.
The first one to say something about it was none other than Stan Alto.
"Mr. Belikov, Ms. Hathaway, I hope that this class can take place without any interruptions on your part."
I would have said something, but Dimitri stopped me by squeezing my hand and simply saying, "No worries Mr. Alto, Rose and I talked everything through, you don't have to worry about anything."
That was when Stan saw us holding hands and furrowed his brow, but said nothing more.
The whole class through, I could feel Eddie's eyes on us.
When I looked over he smiled a little unsure and turned his gaze to his group.
Throughout the whole discussion about Family, I kept a low profile and let the rest of the group talk.
Camille obviously wasn't over the fact that I interrupted her yesterday, because she tried to get me to say something multiple times, but today I couldn't care less about her and her bitching.
Dimitri and I were finally out in the open and ready to work on our relationship.
Before I knew it, it was already Friday, end of the week.
All of my friends decided to have a little get together at our apartment.
We ordered a bunch of pizzas and Christian made some delicious brownies.
I had two before the door closed behind him.
After my friends assured me it was okay to invite Dimitri as well, I texted him and asked him to come over.
Ten minutes later he was there and we all snuggled onto the couch.
Everyone but Mia had a partner to cuddle up to, but Mia improvised with a pillow and even outright explained to us why she was the only lucky person in this room, since she doesn't had to share her food, her blanket or give up any of her space for another person.
That made all of us laugh and eased the tension that had been there from the beginning.
We all relaxed and talked and watched some movie that Lissa and Jill decided on watching.
I couldn't care less since I finally had Dimitri back and we were both cuddled up on the couch, enjoying a nice evening with my best friends.
After the movie was finished, everyone helped tidying up a little and got additional snacks to the brownies.
It was a wonder, but I still haven't eaten them all.
I was a good friend and shared them with everyone, I know, very generous of me.
When I got back into the living room where my friends seem to be interrogating Dimitri, I saw that Dimitri took a bite of a brownie and that he apparently chocked on it.
Everyone laughed, but when he didn't stopped and only seemed to cough harder, I rushed over to where he was holding his throat.
"What is wrong with him?" squealed Jill, while she was clinging onto Eddie.
That was the moment when Dimitri collapsed onto the floor.
