The next day, Kohaku made his way around the village, sniffing out Hisayo, more literally than figuratively. Since Hisahito was taking his students on a field trip over the next few days and would be unavailable for him to talk to, he was seeking advice from Hisayo instead.
Hisayo was, without a doubt, a reliable kunoichi, honorable and brave to a fault, if a little nuts. Her advice, however, tended to turn out the same way that a toddler would write the fortune tucked neatly into a fortune cookie; well meaning, but absolutely baffling in the strangest of ways.
He had, of course, thought of going to Minato or Kushina for advice, but...he was dreading even speaking to Minato, because he knew what he would have to tell him. It was his plan to speak with Minato after he had spoken with Hisayo, and he would procrastinate no more after that.
Oddly enough, Kohaku found Hisayo inside an animal shelter, peering into the cages with a quizzical expression. Tilting his head, he made his way into the animal shelter and cleared his throat.
"Hisayo-sensei." He spoke just loud enough to jolt her out of her deep thoughts.
Hisayo spun around, her green eyes widening in shock. "Fucking hell. I must be high as fuck right now."
Kohaku tilted his head to the side slightly, frowning. "Hisayo-sensei...I don't think you're high...unless you've recently picked up a new habit?" He raised an eyebrow, his expression innocent.
"I haven't, but you're talking, and you've never talked before, so logically that means I'm high or losing my mind." Hisayo reached out and poked his cheek, as if testing if he were really there or not.
"I have talked before. I had a conversation with Hisahito-sensei just yesterday." Kohaku reached out and poked her cheek in response to her doing the same. "I wanted to talk to you about something. But first...why are you here?"
"Ah, well…" Hisayo frowned, glancing away after a moment. "I'm actually here for you. I...wanted to find you something as a homecoming gift. I've been having a hard time with it, so I thought I would think outside the box of a normal sort of gift…"
Kohaku couldn't help but smile, reaching out and pulling her into a hug. The action seemed to startle her further, but she just wrapped her arms tightly around him. "You don't have to get me a gift for coming home. Being able to see you, Hisahito-sensei, Kakashi, and Minato-sensei again have been enough of a gift, and I couldn't ask for anything more."
"Where the hell did you learn to be so sweet?!" Hisayo tightened her arms around him, a huff escaping her lips. "You certainly didn't learn it from me…"
"Don't sell yourself so short." Kohaku chided gently, letting her go after a moment. "You taught me many things that no one else could. You taught me that it's okay to rely on someone other than myself. You...taught me, with your own lack of care of what people thought of you, that there would always be someone who would like me for who I am. You and I are more alike than I think you would like to admit; both of us are black sheep."
"...are you calling me unlikable?" Hisayo placed her hands on her hip and glared at him, as if she had missed the entire point.
"Hisayo-sensei, that wasn't my point…" Kohaku sighed, frowning a little now. But a moment later, he relaxed as a mischievous smile crossed her face.
"I know, I know." Hisayo smiled at him and ruffled his messy hair. "You really are something, though, y'know? Never thought you would become so soft and squishy on the inside."
Kohaku frowned again. "But aren't we all soft and squishy on the inside?" He tilted his head, not quite realizing that she wasn't speaking literally.
Hisayo stared at him for a moment before absolutely losing it. A howl of laughter escaped her lips, not unlike that of a hyena. She hunched over, laughing so hard that she could barely breathe.
"Did I...say something funny?" Dense as ever, he tilted his head to the other side, and Hisayo could almost picture a pair of large fox ears atop his head, quirked in a questioning manner.
It took Hisayo a moment to calm down enough to actually respond to him, her laughter turning into hysterical giggles for a few moments. "No, not at all. I just never really realized how cute you actually are. I bet if you opened up a little more, you'd be able to get any girl you wanted."
"I'm not attracted to girls." Kohaku said bluntly, crouching down to look at a tiny kitten with fluffy white fur and beautiful blue eyes.
"Well, I can't say that I'm surprised, but man are you blunt as hell." Hisayo patted his head and smiled. "Actually, I am surprised, but not for the reason you're probably thinking." She paused to ponder her words. "I just never thought you'd be comfortable enough around people to realize that sort of thing. You've always been so guarded; so unwilling to let anyone in."
Kohaku glanced up at Hisayo and frowned. "I have my reasons for being unwilling to let people close to me." He stood up and went to look at the animals playing in one of the playpens just a few feet away.
"So what's changed now?" Hisayo raised an eyebrow as Kohaku stuck his hand into the playpen, petting one of the puppies that had come up to sniff at his hand.
"I grew up with no one to rely on. Alone, humiliated, and unloved. I learned that I could only rely on myself, and that in the end, everyone I tried to trust would turn their backs on me." Kohaku frowned a little. "But I learned just recently that there are some people in this world that I can trust, and that...I don't have to do everything on my own."
Hisayo patted his head gently, frowning a little. "You've never been alone, and you never will be. Hisahito and I are always here for you."
"I know that now, Hisayo-sensei." Kohaku gently pet the sand-colored puppy, gently stroking his oversized ears. "Which is why I wanted to ask you for your advice. I know you'll never lead me astray."
"Ah, well…" Hisayo was not used to anyone other than her brother putting blind faith in her, but she felt honored all the same. "What can I help you with?"
"I think there's someone that I like...in a romantic way." Kohaku's face burned with embarrassment as he busied himself with another puppy in the playpen that had come to investigate his hand.
"Oho, and who would that be?" Hisayo smiled as she came to sit next to him, dipping her hand into the playpen as well to pet the remaining puppies.
"I'm not naming anyone." Kohaku replied firmly, not liking the mischievous tone of her voice. "I don't know anything about romantic relationships, though, or how to even start one. I don't know if this person even feels the same way. I'm not good at reading people."
"So you came to me for help? I've never been in a real romantic relationship either. But here's the deal; I'll snag some of Hisahito's books on this particular subject, and we can figure out what you should do together." Hisayo offered, ruffling his hair.
Kohaku tilted his head slightly. "Hisahito-sensei has books about love?" He would never have expected that of him; Hisahito always made sure that the people closest to him knew that he loved him, so he had always thought that that sort of thing came naturally to him.
"Yeah! They're self-help books, I think, but I don't really know why he would need one of those." Hisayo tilted her head, a thoughtful look on her face. "Pick out an animal, and then we'll raid Hisahito's apartment."
A frown crossed Kohaku's face for just a moment. "You don't need to get me an animal…" He protested. "Besides, it's really not safe enough around me for an animal…" A shiver went down his spine when he remembered what had happened to his summon.
"Come on, brat, just pick one. Most of these animals are bred for shinobi work, so you shouldn't worry so much." Hisayo nudged him gently. "They'll be fine, as long as you train them well."
Kohaku let out a heavy sigh, standing up to look around a little more. "I like that one." He pointed towards a pretty tan and white Akita puppy in a cage towards the back. The puppy had its head tilted, tongue lolling as it absentmindedly gnawed at the bars of its cage.
Hisayo stood up and raised an eyebrow. "You want the one stupid one in this place?" She sighed and shook her head.
"She's not stupid. She's cute." Kohaku was already making his way over to the cage to get a better look, a soft smile appearing on his usually deadpan face. He crouched down and reached his hand out to the puppy, relieved when the little animal licked his hand sloppily. "I want this one."
"Fine, fine." Hisayo was just glad that he had come around and accepted her gift. She went over to one of the employees and went through the paperwork so that Kohaku wouldn't have to deal with it.
A few moments later, Hisayo came back over with the employee, having Kohaku step back so that the cage could be unlocked. The employee fastened a pink collar around the puppy's neck carefully and attached a leash, handing it over to Kohaku.
"Her name is Nozomu. She's kind of a troublemaker, so watch out." The employee warned. "But she comes from a long line of reliable ninken, so it shouldn't be hard to train her. She's started showing a few signs of learning human speech, as well."
"Nozomu…" Kohaku decided that this was a good decision. After all, it could only be a good sign that he had been attracted to a little dog named 'hope.' "I hope you'll grow to like me, Nozomu."
In response to his words, the little puppy flung herself at him, covering his face with slobbery kisses. Her tail wagged like crazy and she made quiet noises of happiness.
Kohaku lifted her into his arms gently, deciding that the puppy would never leave his side. He wouldn't let her get hurt, too.
"Are you ready to go?" Hisayo asked after a moment, smiling in a surprisingly soft way. "We want to get in and out of my brother's apartment before he comes back and suspects anything."
With a nod, Kohaku stood up with Nozomu in his arms. "Let's go." He replied, following her out when she made her way to the exit, carrying the adoption papers in one hand.
"Hisahito has a lot of traps in place, so we'll have to come up with a plan to get in without setting them off." Hisayo said, thinking about how to get in and out without alerting her brother that there had been two intruders in his apartment while he was gone.
Kohaku stared at Hisayo, frowning a little. "You have a key to his apartment, right?" He asked, tilting his head. When Hisayo glanced back and nodded, he sighed. "Then why don't we just go through the front door? If you've got the key, then I doubt his traps will go off, unless he's rigged them to go off even when someone comes in with a key. That doesn't really make sense, since his traps would go off every time that he went home. It should be fine, right?"
Hisayo stared at him for a moment, looking rather startled that he had presented her with such a simple, and obvious, solution. "I guess that would work. Huh."
At times like this, Kohaku sometimes wondered how Hisayo had even become a shinobi in the first place. She never really thought things through all the way, and oftentimes came up with ridiculous plans for things that could be solved with simpler actions.
But in the end, Hisayo was a dedicated and talented shinobi, even if she did often throw herself into the thick of things before thinking it through. She was a force to be reckoned with, and with Hisahito by her side, they were twin forces of destruction that couldn't be stopped.
"Then let's just do that…" Kohaku reached out with his free hand and patted Hisayo's head, ruffling her already messy hair.
Hisayo led the way to Hisahito's apartment, which happened to be right next to her own. She fished the key out of her pocket and unlocked Hisahito's apartment, stepping inside with Kohaku just behind her.
When Hisayo turned the light on, Kohaku looked around curiously. All down the halls, hanging on the walls, were photographs in a jumbled assortment of frames. Most of them were of Hisahito and Hisayo together, or them with someone who resembled them closely. There were a few other scattered pictures of the teams that the twins had previously led, including one of Team Three.
Kohaku was a little surprised to see that photograph, but more so to see how he had looked all those years ago. He had been so different then, and hadn't even had the scar down the left side of his face yet. He had been so young and oblivious to the real cruelty of the world compared to what he had already suffered, and for a moment, Kohaku wanted those days back.
As if sensing something was wrong, Nozomu whined in his arms, leaning up to lick his face affectionately.
"Thanks, Nozomu." Kohaku said quietly, and kissed the top of her head. He ignored Hisayo's questioning look as she led him down the hallway and into Hisahito's bedroom, which was exceedingly neat and organized.
"I think his stash should be somewhere around here." Hisayo said as she went over to the bookshelf, looking through each of the titles for the ones that she was looking for. "They've got some weird titles."
Kohaku nodded and began to help her search the enormous bookshelf. For the first few moments, it was a fruitless search, neither of them finding what they were looking for until they reached the very bottom of the shelf.
The titles were certainly not what Kohaku had been expecting when Hisayo told him they were self-help books on love. "Hisayo-sensei, are you sure these are self-help books?"
Hisayo paused for a moment, glancing at him. "Of course, they are. Just look at them!" She plucked one of the books from its spot on the shelf and showed it to Kohaku. "What about 'Rendezvous with the Leaf Shinobi's Husband' doesn't sound like a self-help book?"
Kohaku frowned and tilted his head. He had never really seen a self-help book before anyway, so perhaps he had just been expecting something different. "I suppose you're right. I was just expecting a self-help book to have a better title."
"Yeah, well, some people are better at writing the actual books than titling them." Hisayo said, grabbing another book from the shelf. "Hm...take this one, too."
Kohaku squinted at the title of the second book Hisayo gave him, 'Shadow-Clone Threesome.' "'And orgy you'll never forget…'" He read out the description on the back, frowning. "Hisayo-sensei...what's an orgy?"
The rest of the day was spent in awkward silence, as Hisayo was stunned beyond belief, and Kohaku did not learn that day what an 'orgy' was.
