Remus glanced at the window as he scrawled his Potions essay. Every day now, he feared that an owl would come soaring through the window, informing him that his mother had succumbed to her illness. It was starting to distract him in class, which was something he couldn't afford. He tried to play it down around the others, because they wanted to help, but really there was nothing they could do. They couldn't cure her, they couldn't remove his fears. All they could do was distract him, and that meant staying off the subject as much as possible. Over the break, she had told him, "Don't worry about me. You do well in school, and I'll be here when you get back." But he worried that she wouldn't be. Yes, the doctors had given her until October, and yes, his father was looking for a magical cure, but still, he couldn't help but be afraid. He loved her so much. His parents had been the only people who were there for him throughout his childhood, and though he had the Marauders now, he would still be lost without either of them. Every moment he spent at school rather than at home felt like wastes of what little time he might have left with her.

"Penny for your thoughts?" said Lily from behind him.

He started out of his reverie and looked over. "Oh just... trying to get this Potions essay done."

"Do you have a minute to talk about the patrolling schedule for next week?"

"Sure."

"Alright. I can do Tuesday, if that's alright with you?"

"That's fine, but... I can't do the weekend." It was a full moon on Saturday.

"Could you take Thursday?"

"Yes, Thursday should be fine."

"Right, I'll put it down."

"Alright."

She glanced at his essay. "I'd put Ashwinder egg in, if I were you."

"That's what James said!"

"Well, his father is a famous potioneer, suppose he had to pick up something."

"Right."

"Later, Remus."

"Later."


"Sirius, that might actually be the worst idea you've ever had," said Peter.

"I think it's brilliant," said James.

"Of course you do," said Remus. "Because you're not the one he might get into trouble."

"It's Peter's choice whether he wants to do it," said Sirius.

"And why, again, do you want him to steal from McGonagall's office?"

"For fun."

"You could go bigger, though," said James. "Like... Dumbledore's office."

"No way!" said Peter. "I'm not trying to get expelled here."

"C'mon, Wormtail, you're the only one who can fit under the door," Sirius argued.

As they continued to bicker, Remus's thoughts started to slip again. They were doing that more often now. James caught his eye, wordlessly asking if he was alright. He merely shrugged in response. No, he wasn't alright, he didn't know if he would be again, at least until his father had found some sort of cure for his mother. But at this particular moment, he wasn't any worse than usual.

James interrupted the bickering with, "Lovely as this chat is, I need all your help: What should I do for Lily's birthday?"

"Oh, don't do anything dramatic," Remus said. She was warming to him, and the last thing he needed was something that would turn her off again.

"Fireworks," said Sirius. "Definitely fireworks."

"I think I'm actually going to listen to Remus on this one," said James.

Remus tried to hide his surprise. "Good choice."

"You should get her a lily," said Peter. "It would be funny."

"Maybe," said James.

"No," said Remus. "Flowers are a dating gift, not a we're-sort-of-friends-I'm-glad-you're-willing-to-talk-to-me-now gift."

"Then what is the gift for that?"

"Probably nothing. Just tell her Happy Birthday when you see her."

"C'mon, Remus, that's too small."

"Got it," said Sirius. "We'll enchant the candles in the Great Hall to spell out Happy Birthday to her, then have the whole school thing the song."

"Maybe the candles," said James. "I don't think she'll like the singing."

"Who doesn't like having Happy Birthday sung to them?" asked Peter.

"Remus," said James and Sirius in unison, at the same time as Remus said, "Me."

They all laughed, a moment of light in a sea of dark. And Remus tried not to think about all the things he had to be afraid of.