Upon arriving at the House of the Undying, the company was magically separated. Each of our heroes found themselves in a separate circular room surrounded by doors.
"Well, so much for Team Targaryen," Tohru thought. She looked at the doors, and then she attempted to make a portal. It failed. She would have to play the game. She chose a random door and opened it. Inside, she saw what looked like the world's most uncomfortable chair. She walked in to examine it. The ground was covered in what she originally thought was ash, but it turned out to be snow. "Weird," she said to herself. She walked up to the chair and realized it was made of swords that were welded together. "Well, only a moron would try to sit on this." She turned to go back out the door, but it no longer existed. "Well, fuck," said Tohru. She turned back around towards the chair and squealed, because someone was sitting in it.
"FAFNIR?!"
"Hello, Tohru," said Fafnir. He looked quite at home in the chair.
"What," she said. She reached out to touch him, then squealed again when she realized she actually could. "But you can't be here. This must be an illusion."
"Perhaps," he said. "Lovely chair, don't you think?"
"No, it's a stupid chair," she said. "Why are you here, Fafnir?"
"I'm not quite sure," he said. "I'm still deciding if I really like it."
She realized there was a torii gate in the distance. "That must be my way out. Goodbye, Fafnir," Tohru said. She plodded off through the snow.
"Goodbye, Tohru," he said. "I shall see you at the end."
"Huh?" she said, but as soon as she stepped through the torii, the landscape changed. She was in Miss Kobayashi's apartment. Kobayashi was sitting at a kotatsu wearing red lingerie. She was eating Tohru's tail.
"Tohru," said Miss Kobayashi lazily.
No words passed for a while. Tohru fell to Kobayashi, kissing her. When they were mostly naked, Kobayashi said, "Come upstairs. We can stay forever."
"I," said Tohru, taking her hand reluctantly off Kobayashi's breast, "I can't."
"Why not?" Kobayashi asked.
"I have to save Shouta," said Tohru. "We went somewhere else, Kobayashi. And it's a really bad place. But...there's a girl there, a good girl, too good, and we have to help her, because...because the world needs more of her."
Kobayashi smiled. "Then go, Tohru. Go save the world."
The apartment door opened, and after one last kiss, she left Kobayashi forever.
Lucoa finally realized she couldn't destroy the room with the doors. "Alright," she thought, "I'll play the game, and I'll beat it too." She opened a door into an Aztec shrine.
"HAIL, QUETZALCOATL, THE MORNING STAR!" the gods and goddesses cried. "HAIL, QUETZALCOATL, MOTHER OF EMPIRES!"
She was adorned in ceremonial dress, then lead to an altar. "Lay down, Quetzalcoatl. It shall be over soon," said Tezcatlipoca. "You shall be the sun."
"I shall be the sun," Lucoa repeated dreamily.
"You shall be the sun," said Xipe-Totec.
"I shall be the sun," Lucoa repeated. She laid down on the altar. "Yes, I shall be the sun. I shall be the sun."
Huitzilopochtli raised a dagger over her. "You shall be the sun."
"I shall be the...NO!" she cried as the dagger came down. She knocked it away and broke Huizilopochtli's arm. "Shouta is the sun! I must save him! Take me to Shouta!"
She heard a door open, and the gods disappeared. She sprang to her feet and through the door. She was in Shouta's bedroom, and young Shouta was crying.
"Shouta-baby," she said. "Shouta-baby, what's wrong?" She reached out to embrace him, and he ran from her.
"Go away!" he cried. "Go away, demon!"
"I'm not a demon," she said. "I want to help you."
"Go away!" he screamed, and he threw his pillows at her. "Go away, demon woman! You can't have me!"
"Have you?" Lucoa asked. "I don't want to do anything to you. I just want to love you. I have been worshiped by many people, but none that I could be close to like you, Shouta. I'm sorry that I scare you. The truth is, I'm scared too. I don't know how to do this." The bedroom door opened, and Shouta's crying stopped. The child snuggled under the covers to sleep. She tucked him in and kissed his head. "I'll fix this, Shouta-baby."
She went through the door, and she immediately wanted to turn back. In the next room was Shouta, as he was today, chained to the center of a gray brick room. Pyat Pree stood beside him, and he was forcing Shouta to utter terrible incantations.
"I told you, I don't remember what I did!" Shouta said miserably. "I was just messing around with my parents' book, and then, there she was!"
"Lies! I saw you summon the lightning-dragon at Xaro's mansion!" Pyat growled. Then, he saw Lucoa. "Ah, look who has joined us."
Shouta turned around. "Lucoa!" he cried.
Lucoa rushed to him, but a barrier stopped her. She growled. "How is this possible? You should be dead."
"Did you not hear the name of this place, girl? It is called the House of the Undying. As long as this house stands, I cannot die," said Pyat.
"I see," said Lucoa. "Well, your magic is strong. I am impressed. Against anyone else, I think you might have won."
"Just who exactly are you, girl?" Pyat spat.
"I am not a girl," said Lucoa calmly.
"Fine," said Pyat. "Woman."
"I am not a woman," Lucoa said. Pyat narrowed his eyes in confusion. "I am a god," she declared.
Pyat scoffed. "You are delusional."
"No, you are delusional," said Lucoa. And she began to transform. First, her hair turned to multi-colored feathers, and they wrapped around her body. Her head turned reptilian, and her arms and legs melded with her ever-elongating body. Steam seeped out of her terrible nostrils. "For the record," she said, "I gave you plenty of warning." She opened her mouth and swallowed Pyat Pree, then escaped through a portal.
When she was gone, Dany, Tohru, and Jorah entered through separate doors. "SHOUTA!" they cried together.
But Shouta was weeping softly. Dany, who had procured a key at the end of her trial, began to unchain him. Once he was unchained, another door opened at the head of the room.
"Let's go!" Jorah ordered.
"NO!" Shouta cried. "Lucoa. Where is she?"
"We haven't seen her," said Tohru. "Have you?"
"She was just here!" Shouta said. "She was just here, and Pyat Pree, and she swallowed him, and now she's gone!"
"Swallowed him?" Dany asked.
"I dare not linger here," said Jorah. "Come, Lucoa found us before. She can find us again."
They returned to Xaro's house to confront him, and they found him in bed with Doreah. Jorah and Tohru drew their swords.
"WHORE!" Shouta cried.
"Doreah, what is the meaning of this?" Dany asked.
"You rejected him," said Doreah. "So, he proposed to me, in return for..."
"For my dragons," Dany clarified.
"And for me," Shouta added bitterly. "She's the one who lead me to that wretched place."
"Oh, Doreah," Dany said. "I am so disappointed in you."
"What do you want to do, Princess?" asked Jorah.
Dany looked at Shouta. "Well, I know what I want to do with him. What shall we do with her, Shouta?"
"I reckon the same," he said. "Oh, Doreah, you have made a simple choice. I could have shown you the universe. Instead, you were content to consort with a king. So sad."
He kissed her one last time before they locked her and Xaro in his empty treasure fault.
Team Targaryen loaded up what they could from Xaro's hoard and started to travel towards Astapor.
"What will become of that city, do you think?" asked Tohru. "Now all of its rulers are dead."
"Who cares?" asked Dany. "We're still together."
They met up with Kanna and the baby dragons. She hugged each of them warmly. Jorah looked searchingly into her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Kanna asked.
"Nothing," said Jorah. "In the House of the Undying, we were shown strange visions. But those were just tricks, right?"
"Of course," said Tohru. "I mean, I saw Fafnir on a funky chair made of swords."
"Fafnir?" asked Kanna.
"Wait...chair made of swords? Tohru, that's the Iron Throne!" Jorah exclaimed.
"The what?" said Tohru.
"Where's Lucoa?" Kanna asked.
As if on cue, the ground started to rumble, and a glowing portal appeared. Lucoa re-emerged in her Dothraki garb.
"LUCOA!" Shouta cried, and he ran and threw his arms fiercely around her. "Oh my god, Lucoa! I thought you were gone!"
"Silly child," said Lucoa. "No, but I had quite a long trip. Pyat Pree is in the Underworld."
"The Underworld?!" Tohru said incredulously.
"Oh, I suppose you want to go back and destroy the House of the Undying," said Jorah.
"Absolutely not," said Lucoa. "He won't ever die as long as the House stands. He said so himself."
"Wait...so you..." Kanna started.
"Essentially buried him alive," Tohru finished. "Lucoa, that's..."
"That's so badass!" Shouta exclaimed. "Lucoa, I mean, I knew you were a goddess, but, I never realized..."
"Well, actually, I'm a god," said Lucoa. "I emerged in your world in my woman form, and I just kind of stuck with it."
"Perhaps Shouta conjured a vision of his own fantasy?" Jorah suggested. Shouta blushed.
"Shouta, I'm sorry I'm so overbearing, and that I frightened you so much as a child," said Lucoa. "I didn't understand it any more than you did. But it was never my intention to hurt you. I love you, Shouta-baby."
"It's okay," said Shouta. "I know that now. I love you too, Lucoa." He hugged her again, then looked suspiciously at her boobs. "A man? Really?"
Lucoa shrugged. "I mean, gender hardly matters when you're a god."
"A god. I conjured a god," said Shouta. "Badass!"
