Soooo….it's been years. I started writing this so long ago but life gets in the way sometimes. I'm still not fully back as you can tell. This is a super short chapter but I wanted to get something out for a while now. And the next updates might be like that as well until i get back into the groove.
Please don't mind the editing. It's half ass. Leave a review or comment. It's motivation to keep going.
Everyone stay safe and practice social distancing.
And lastly, I don't own TVD.
Rudy slowly opened the door to his daughter's bedroom and was met with Bonnie sitting in the dark on the floor. Since Damon's arrest two weeks ago, Bonnie had locked herself away. Only coming out to care for the kids in the evening. Knowing his daughter needed time to come to terms with her emotions, Rudy and Abby took care of most of the responsibilities for the children.
"Bonnie." Rudy called out stepping into the room.
"Yeah?" Bonnie called out.
Rudy flipped on the light to get a better look at her.
Bonnie rubbed her eyes at the harshness of the sudden brightness flooding her room.
"I know you probably don't want to talk but we need to." Rudy said as he sat down next to her.
"I know."
"How are you?"
Bonnie looked at her father with tears in her eyes. "I'm all over the place. I don't really know what to think. I'm sad. I'm embarrassed. I'm everything. Everyone knows my secret. They keep giving my looks or blowing up my phone. I just want it all to go away and to have Damon back. He doesn't deserve to be in jail, not for me. I'm not worth it."
Rudy's heart broke at her saying that. His daughter and grandchildren are everything to him. He put his arm around her and pulled her to him. "You're everything to me and to Damon and even to your friends. Everyone is a little shocked at...your profession. But you did what you had to do. Even though I wished you would have come to me but you've always been headstrong and independent. And that is my fault. I should have been there for you more."
"Dad. You were a single father doing the best you can to provide for us."
"I know but that doesn't excuse leaving you to fend for yourself. I should have seen that you needed help. It's hard taking care for babies but to do it by yourself on top of school. It's impossible."
"Should have spoken up, I guess."
"Water under the bridge. We are going to come up with a plan. I don't want you working there anymore."
Bonnie shook her head. She didn't want to divulge all her business but she needed to be honest for once in her life. "I can't. I have some debts to pay back that I don't want Damon to worry about."
"Bonnie."
"No. He's in jail cause of me." Bonnie cried. "He doesn't deserve to be locked up. My kids don't deserve losing their father again."
"I agree, he doesn't. But it's not your fault either. Baby, you were just doing what you thought you had to do. He knows that. He just got angry that they were hurting you and I'm happy he beat their asses. I would have done the same. But with all that said, you still don't deserve to be paying any old debt of his. He knows that. I've spoken to him and Stefan. I don't know the details nor do I want to but Stefan is going to handle it."
Bonnie nodded her head. "He's still in jail tho."
"I know. I think we should go speak to his parole officer on his behalf."
Bonnie laid her head down on her dad's shoulder.
"I miss him so much." she confessed.
"I know."
Bonnie laid her head down on her father's shoulders. "I think I may even love him."
"If we are being honest, I don't think you ever stopped loving him." he chuckled. "He always owned your heart even when you hated him."
"I did love Elijah."
"I know."
"I wanted it to work between us. I really did. He was perfect."
"I know. But Bonnie, we can't always help who we love. Look at your mother and I. She put my through hell but she's still the love of my life. Sometimes we have to accept it and not punish ourselves for our feelings."
Bonnie wiped away her tears and decided right then and there it was time to stop running.
Damon stood in line with his hands handcuffed in his front of him, waiting to go into the visitation room. He was little caught off guard when the guards called his name for visitation. He wasn't expecting a visit from Stefan till next week. The two had an agreement that Stefan would come every other week and the weeks he didn't come Stefan was to check on Bon for him. He became a little nervous thinking something may have happened.
He slowly followed the line into the room as a guard yelled out the rules of visitation.
Once in, he scanned the room looking for his brother but instead he saw Bonnie giving him a shy smile at one of the tables.
Damon stopped dead in his tracks in surprise. He never imagined that she would ever come and visit him. His first bid, she made it a point to let him know not under any circumstances would she ever step foot in the prison.
"Move it, inmate!" A guard yelled out to him.
He shook himself out of his daze and made his way to her.
Bonnie stood up once Damon came out of his shock and made his way to the table she was assigned to.
"Hi." Bonnie said, making quick eye contact with him.
"Hey."
"I'm not sure of the rules. I think they said we can hug and one kiss before we sit down." Bonnie stood awkwardly as she looked around the room.
"Yeah." Damon replied. He could tell she was nervous being at the jail so he waited for her move.
Bonnie slowly wrapped her arms around Damon's neck. "I've missed you" before kissing the side of his mouth.
He lifted his cuffed hands and cupped her face before for stealing a sweet kiss on the lips.
Damon sat down never taking his eyes off Bonnie. It had been a month since the last time he saw her face. A face that was full of pain. Pain of losing him again.
"So...how are you?" Bonnie awkwardly asked.
He smirked at her, finding it cute how nervous she was of him. It had been many years since he had made her nervous. "I'm alright, I guess. The days are long and I miss you guys so fucking bad. It hurts being away from the kids and you." He gave her a pointed look.
"And we miss you." Bonnie looked him straight in the eyes. "I miss you. I miss you so much."
Damon took her hands in to his, caressing the back of her hands with his thumb. He never imagined her admitting her feelings for him. He knew deep down she cared but to hear her say that she missed him solidified it.
Bonnie smiled at their locked hands. It reminded her of old times, where they were deeply in love.
"How are my babies? Damon asked
"They miss you and ask about you all the time. They're excited about seeing you soon."
He gave her a sad smile and shook his head. He didn't want to kill the hopefulness in her eyes but he wanted her prepared for the long haul.
"B, I don't know when I'm getting out. I hope you haven't told them they'll be seeing me anytime soon. I can be in here for years again."
Bonnie looked at him confused. "What? You should be getting out soon."
Damon shook his head. "I don't know when I'm getting out. This is a strike against my parole."
"Hold up. Your parole officer should have let you know."
"What?"
"You're getting out soon. I went with my dad and spoke with your parole officer. They're not going to violate you. It was my fault anyways. You should have never been arrested. I caused all that drama."
"What?"
"We petition for your release. Mr. Saltzman agreed. Other than the incident, he said you've been outstanding."
Damon looked at her stunned. He was really expecting to do at least year.
He lifted up her hand and kissed them repeatedly. "Thank you. I know all this hasn't been easy on you. I've put you through bullshit throughout the years. But I promised no more."
"This time it wasn't your fault." Bonnie wiped a tear that had fallen. "It was me."
"Stop!"
Bonnie looked up at him with wide eyes. She was caught off guard from the steel of his voice.
Seeing the flash of hurt in her face, Damon said "I'm sorry. It's just you don't need to blame yourself. You were in that position cause of me. So I don't want your apologies. I don't deserve them."
Bonnie begged to differ but dropped it and changed the subject. "About a week you'll be with us again. I don't know the exact date they're releasing you." She said softly
"I'll call my parole officer today. What did you tell the kids?"
Bonnie shook her head and shrugged at him. "I didn't really know what to say. My dad talked to them. Well lied. He told them you went away for work. They do ask to talk to you but I always divert their attention to something else."
An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over Damon. The people he swore to protect, he was causing pain to. It was hard this time around, the kids were old enough to ask questions. He didn't want Bonnie to have to lie to them and he didn't want them to ever think he abandoned them. Bonnie and the kids were his heart. His reason for living.
He raised her hand and kissed the inside of her palm. "I'm so sorry."
Bonnie gave him a sad smile. "We say sorry to each other a lot."
"I do. You got nothing to be sorry about. I couldn't have asked for a better mother to my children. I love you."
Bonnie wiped away the few tears that ran down her cheek. "I love you too."
"I knew it." Damon exclaimed causing Bonnie to laugh.
They continued to chat until visiting hour was over.
Bonnie was surprised how easy they were actually able to converse. Letting go of all the pain and hurt let her remember how perfect they are for each other. It gave her hope they could be a family again.
