A/N: Hello again everyone! Welcome to the final chapter of Explosive!
Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter and this story in general! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!
I hope you all enjoy!
As shitty as leaving LA had been, it was worse going back.
It was like the fury of a rainstorm after the weatherman warned you to bring your umbrella. Expected, completely inevitable, and very shitty.
"I can't believe you're not worried," James said to Kendall as they walked into the lobby of Five Points. They weren't holding hands, but Kendall liked to think just about everyone could see the growing attachment between them.
"It's pointless," Kendall said. "Has anyone ever convinced Dak Zevon to do something he doesn't want to do?" Besides-and he wasn't quite ready for James to find out about this yet-he'd played the last card he could think of, and if that didn't work, maybe it was right for Pastry by Kendall to die off.
"When I was really lonely last year, sometimes I pictured Chris doing lots of stuff he didn't want...at least initially," James said.
Kendall burst out laughing. "Of course you did."
"Have you seen them?" James demanded, laughing with Kendall. "I mean, that's a lot of hotness to contain in one relationship."
Of course, that was the moment they ran into Dak, in the corridor outside their adjoining cubicles.
He raised an eyebrow. Dak was one of those men who could say a speech and never open his mouth. He definitely looked like he was talking now, even though he hadn't said a single word.
"Who's a lot of hotness to contain in one relationship?"
Kendall thought James was pretty damn brave, but it seemed telling his maybe soon-to-be-ex-boss he'd fantasized about him and his boyfriend was where he drew the line. If that was the case, then James was even smarter than he'd imagined.
"Kendall and me," James said, chin jutting out, like he was half-expecting his boss to disapprove.
But Dak's frown rearranged into a big smile. "Then the long weekend was good for you," he said. His eyes took on a darker, amused glint. "You certainly seem more relaxed, James."
"We're working on it," Kendall inserted, because he could see this conversation going all sorts of inappropriate places. And James, who had seemed so formal and wedded to professionalism when they'd first met, could be shockingly dirty when he was in a good mood. And thanks to Kendall, he was definitely in a very good mood.
"I'm glad to hear it," Dak said, sounding genuinely pleased. Kendall found himself praying to whatever God was looking down on them that maybe that was enough to save Pastry by Kendall and James' job. Even if Kendall saved his show and James saved his job, Kendall felt like they could make it. They had each other. Kendall felt certain of that, even if the rest of the world felt unpleasantly uncertain right now.
"Kendall," Dak said, turning to him, a thoughtful look on his face. "Come see me after you get settled in. I think we need to talk."
The moment Dak was out of earshot, James shoved Kendall into his cubicle, excitement and terror warring on his face. "Is this it?" he whisper-yelled. Which, for James, was mostly yelling and very little whispering. "Is he going to cancel your contract?"
Kendall had a very good idea of what Dak wanted to talk about, and it was only tangential to his contract. "No clue," he said. He didn't like lying to James, even if it was a lie of omission, but he wasn't entirely sure James would be happy about this development. Even if it meant his job was saved.
James was one of those sticklers who he imagined might care more about how his job was saved, not just that it had been saved. Kendall really hoped that he was wrong in this scenario, but they were still getting to know each other, now that James had actually started to let him in.
Dak was leaning back in his big leather chair when Kendall walked in.
"Close the door," Dak said, and he still sounded thoughtful but not angry. Not angry was good.
Kendall shut the door, sure that James had just gone into a paroxysm of curiosity and tension as he hid around the corner, desperately hoping that he'd be able to overhear their conversation.
Dak knew James better than he realized.
"You sent me this video," Dak said, rotating his gigantic monitor so Kendall could see the screen. Not that Kendall needed to; he knew exactly which video Dak was talking about.
"I thought you might want to see that our rehearsals provided some great footage," Kendall said.
Dak chuckled. "You making a Ding Dong was solid gold footage. But," and he paused, that thoughtful look returning, "I don't think you made this during rehearsals. And definitely not with James."
It had been a long shot for Kendall to convince Dak that they had made this video together. It was funny and clever and a little subversive, which was everything that Kendall was, and everything James mostly wasn't. At least the side of James that he tended to present at work. Kendall had discovered in the last few days that he could definitely unbend if he wanted, if his mood right, and he was surrounded by people he trusted.
But Dak probably didn't know that.
Dak frowned, and Kendall realized that he didn't know that. James had never really trusted Dak-his beloved boss, the person Kendall might have guessed he was closest to in his whole life-enough to show that side of himself. He'd trusted only Kendall. That revelation only made Kendall more determined to convince Dak that they'd made this clip together.
"James was there. We made it together," he said. He'd heard once that the most effective lies were the simplest. He didn't know if that was even true, but he was willing to give just about anything a shot at this point.
Dak made a frustrated sound, but he still didn't look angry. "I know you're not telling me the truth." He hesitated. "The question is why. Are you worried I'm going to tear up your contract? Are you worried I'm going to send you back to Napa?"
"No," Kendall said, and realized, belatedly, that he meant it. Suddenly the worst thing wasn't that Pastry by Kendall might end, or that he'd be forced to beg for his old job back.
He'd known he loved James, he just hadn't realized how incredibly necessary he was to his life. It wasn't a great time to have this realization, but it certainly provided him a hell of a lot of motivation to pull this off.
"Then what is it?" Dak demanded, a fist landing on the solid wood desk with a heavy thump. Dak's cooking had always been considered bold, bombastic and straightforward. Sort of like the man himself. Kendall just hadn't seen a lot of evidence of it until now.
"Of course I don't want to get fired. Of course I want to convince you to greenlight a season of Pastry by Kendall. Of course I want you to keep the team intact."
"I know you're trying to save him," Dak said. "And you're not alone in that. I've been trying to help him since I first met him, years ago. He's come a long way from that skinny, terrified, overly proud college kid. I know he wouldn't believe me if I told him, but I've always considered him a friend. A close one. But he's never really let me in." He continued softly before shaking his head. "He's a great guy, but that doesn't mean he's right for this show."
"I do love him. But that isn't why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because he's the best fit for the show. For me."
"What if I told you that it was either the show or him?" Dak asked, and that thoughtful look that had reassured Kendall at first now only terrified him. He didn't know what it meant, and the unknown could be a bad place.
"Then I'd say it was an honor to meet you, I'd pack up my cubicle and I'd drive back to Napa today," Kendall said.
"You really would," Dak observed, clearly a little mystified.
"I won't do this without James. Period."
"What if I promised he wasn't fired, that he'd be reassigned to a different department? Would that make a difference?" Dak asked.
Kendall wiped his sweaty, trembling hands on his jeans. "No."
Dak tilted his head, intense eyes cataloging Kendall minutely. Then, suddenly a look flashed across Dak's face like Kendall had just passed some kind of test before he nodded. "Okay, then. Go get James. He's probably loitering in the break room, hoping that he can hear some of this conversation. It doesn't feel fair to leave him out of it."
Sure enough, James was there, pacing with a cup of coffee in his hand. "What's going on?" he hissed.
"Dak wants to talk to both of us," Kendall said and gestured towards Dak's office. "Let's go."
This time Dak didn't ask him to close the door.
"Here's your official shooting schedule," Dak said, almost before their butts were in chairs. He slid a piece of paper across the desk. "But only if you promise me the Ding Dong video stays. It's too funny to cut."
Kendall could feel James' happy confusion radiating out of him, even as he said all the right things: about how they wouldn't let him down, about how they'd commit themselves to making the best show possible, how happy he was that Dak reconsidered.
It was inevitable that as soon as Dak dismissed them, that James would drag him into the break room. It was probably inevitable that Dak had popped his head out of his office and was listening to the whole conversation. It was definitely inevitable that the entire office had tuned in and was listening to their conversation.
"What is Dak talking about, Kendall?" James demanded. "Did you really send him that stupid Ding Dong video?"
"Yes," Kendall said. It was hard to meet James' disbelieving eyes, but he did it. He'd sent it, he had to own up to it. "I told him that we'd recorded it during rehearsals last week. He needed to know that we could do this. Together."
"You lied," James stated, and started to pace again.
"Technically," Kendall said. "But I know we can produce content like this together. High production value, that's what you bring to the table. And I can bring the creative flair. I know everything we've done for Pastry by Kendall has been a hot mess so far, but all each disaster has convinced me of is that we're meant to do this together. I don't want to do it without you."
"You sent it to Dak without telling me," James said, whirling around, voice and face unbearably hard. Kendall could sense the wall going back up, and he wanted to beg, to plead, to fall to his knees. But with James, those things would fall on deaf ears. That much he'd discovered about the man in front of him. The best thing he could do is go through the wall with all the strength he had and hope for the best.
"I saved the show. I saved your job. I saved our future, working together. Why are you mad?" Kendall asked in exasperation. "Because I didn't tell you ahead of time? Because I lied to your precious Dak? Don't worry, he knows I lied. He knows and he doesn't care."
"I'm mad because you felt you needed to charge in to save me. I can save myself. I don't need your help with that," James said coldly.
"That's what people in love do," Kendall said, leashing in his temper as close as possible. He needed James to realize what he'd been trying to do, not escalate this argument until both of them were so mad that neither of them was listening. That was the mistake he'd always made before. He wasn't going to do it again.
James looked incredulous.
Kendall retrenched and tried to explain again. "I want to be by your side for a long time. Long enough that there's going to be times when I need you. And times you need me. Nobody can be strong and perfect all the time. This time, maybe I helped you. Next time, I'm gonna expect you to be there for me. Hell, that's something you've already done. I sent that incredibly stupid drunk email, and you didn't instantly forward it to Dak. You had my back. The way I had yours today."
"Dak might have fired you for lying to him," James said.
"He might have. I was willing to take that risk."
"Why?" James asked, even though he had to know why. Dak had instantly known why.
"Because I love you," Kendall said, rolling his eyes. "And you know that's why I did it. You know I love you. And you love me too."
"I...I...I don't know about that," James said, sounding unsure for the first time since he'd dragged Kendall into the break room.
"Bullshit. You love me, and I love you." Kendall reached out and pulled James to him. The tension in his body cut like a cord, dissipating almost instantly.
"I might love you a little," James admitted into Kendall's shoulder.
"What? What was that again?" Kendall said loudly, teasingly.
James' head lifted from his shoulder, looking at him straight on.
"I love you, you jerk," And he kissed him.
"Today, we're going to be making one of my favorite things," Kendall said, leaning on the counter, staring at the camera like they were best friends and not a man and a machine, "a dong."
There was a ripple of laughter through the assembled staff. Carlos Garcia found himself joining in even though the line wasn't new to him. It might have been Kendall's delivery or it might have been who he was delivering it to-regardless, the opening line was just as funny and just as effective as it had been the first time Carlos had heard it.
James leaned against the end of the counter, hip popped, white shirt immaculate, bow tie flawlessly tied. He grimaced comically at his boyfriend's words, and Carlos would never have guessed that this whole exchange was scripted, except that he'd seen it developed and then rehearsed.
"A Ding Dong," James corrected crisply. "It's a pastry, which is something I would guess you know about. A chocolate cake to be precise, filled with cream. Don't tell me you need me to educate you about a dessert."
Kendall raised an eyebrow at the last part, and another round of laughter circulated through the crowd.
"You like cream-filled desserts, huh?" Kendall asked James, who rolled his eyes.
"Bake, you idiot," James retorted. There was a thread of annoyance in his tone, and the ever-present eye rolls, but he still looked enamored. Probably because he was. Carlos might have doubted it a little-couldn't help but doubt at least a little bit after what the two of them had done to each other-but he couldn't anymore. Not after Kendall had insisted he come to the first few days of taping for moral support, and Carlos had seen firsthand how much they cared about each other.
Carlos was still surprised that Kendall had asked him and not Jett, but then he'd been so angry lately, he probably would have been shitty moral support. And Massimo Bottura never would have given Logan the day off.
That was probably why Kendall had sent him a ticket and asked-more like pleaded-for Carlos to fly down to LA. Carlos had been happy to do it, because Kendall was a friend, and selfishly because Carlos needed a break of his own.
Kendall followed James' command, with a single amused glance shot over to the other side of the kitchen, and started to assemble the dry ingredients for the chocolate cake portion of the recipe. The original concept of Pastry by Kendall had always been Kendall baking, and Kendall still did bake, but now he was also peppered with questions by his producer, who instead of standing behind the camera, stood in front of it.
The concept was new and fresh and it worked like gangbusters. Kendall had told Carlos that they'd initially come up with the idea in a meeting where Dak Zevon had slammed his hand down on the table, interrupting one of Kendall and James' many debates, and said, "You're going to think I'm crazy, but you guys have film this. You two are insane."
It definitely wasn't like other cooking shows, but it also worked.
Because Kendall was Kendall, and he could sift flour in his sleep, he kept talking.
"Right now we're sifting because we don't want lumps in our dry ingredients. Or stuff that doesn't belong."
James was still watching, eyes narrowed, from the other end of the counter. He had a bunch of papers spread out in front of him, and it was clear that he was still in charge of the episode. He was just doing it in full view of the camera, as ballsy as he'd ever been.
"I don't believe you've ever actually found something that didn't belong in the flour," James drawled. Carlos didn't remember this particular dialogue, but Kendall didn't miss a beat.
"Sand, grit, a marble, I think I even found a condom once," Kendall said, flashing a charming smile to the camera, like can you believe this guy? "Don't worry though, it wasn't used."
"I'd be a lot more worried if you were finding used condoms in your flour," James said.
"Jealous?" The smile Kendall shot down the length of the counter could have impregnated anyone within a few paces, regardless of gender.
James just laughed. "Of the guys who stuck their condoms in your flour, hoping to get your attention? No. Not even a little."
Carlos realized with a bright, blinding flash why Kendall hadn't invited Jett. How had he found out? Carlos had been so certain that Kendall hadn't realized Jett had that impossible crush.
But he must have, and that was why he hadn't invited Jett. On the other hand, Carlos thought a little bitterly, he was safe because he didn't have a crush on anyone. Okay, that was a lie, but Logan didn't need to know that.
After the way his relationship with Beau had ended, Carlos had been happy enough for a while to stay unattached and single, but watching Kendall and James flirt with each other would make anyone long for even a fraction of what they'd found together.
It wasn't just that he was sick of cleaning artichokes and prepping lamb chops and being held to a painfully precise standard every second he was at work, he was bored and lonely. He'd thought that getting away for a few days and going down to LA to see Kendall and James would help, but all being here did was throw into sharp focus what was missing in his own life.
"They're hilarious, aren't they?" Carlos looked over, and Dak was standing there, grinning like a loon. Or like someone who'd just won the lottery. And he probably had, from an online cooking show perspective.
Kendall had just begun to slowly whisk in the wet ingredients to the dry, and he was waggling his eyebrows, making more and more outrageous comments, aiming for some unknown reaction from James.
"It shouldn't work, but it does," Carlos admitted.
"I knew they could work it out," Dak said. "I'll admit, I had a few dark moments. Once or twice I thought they might kill each other before working it out, but I was happy to be wrong about that."
Carlos had no interest in such a combative relationship, but there was an invisible, undefinable thread between Kendall and James, shining with love and respect and affection. It shouldn't hurt to see it, it should be something to admire, not something to be envious of, but Carlos found he couldn't really help himself. Beau had been his only serious boyfriend, and they definitely hadn't had that.
"Now, I have the Cooking Channel sniffing around my set," Dak said, voice smug with satisfaction. "And the sort of buzz about our new show that I couldn't manufacture what draw our marketing team comes up with."
Carlos reminded himself firmly that he had come here to be a support to Kendall, not to eat his heart out with jealousy over what he'd found, professionally and personally. He wasn't Jett.
"They're both very lucky," Carlos said, and no matter how much he tried to regulate his voice, it still came out sadly wry.
Dak put a reassuring hand on his shoulder-Carlos thought that next time he saw Jett, there was now something else he could lord over him-and said, "I know how talented you are. How talented Logan and Jett are as well. Kendall told me all about you guys. The possibilities are endless. Maybe it's time for you guys to leave the nest and explore them."
"With you?" Carlos wondered if maybe this invite had almost been a way to get him down to LA for a job interview. With Dak Zevon. Jett was going to die. Especially when he found out the offer apparently extended to him as well.
"Not necessarily," Dak said. "But I know about some open positions in the area. I like to keep my ear to the ground. Would you be interested?"
Would he be interested? Carlos didn't even know. All he knew was that he was suddenly and inexplicably sick of his own life. And deep down, he knew that Logan and Jett were as well. He knew how much they all wanted to move on, but there was a certain security at Terroir. He also knew he was tired of trying to make ends meet, of struggling to keep his nana in the home, and having nothing left over for anything else. Sick of being told what to do. Besides, if he could get Logan away from Bottura...maybe something could happen between them.
"I'd be willing to listen, and I think Jett and Logan would be, too," Carlos said.
"Then we'll be in touch," Dak responded, squeezing his shoulder again, then disappearing, merging into a group of people who all seemed to want to ask him a dozen questions.
Back on set, Kendall was carefully pouring his cake batter into molds.
"Now," he said, "we can finally get onto the cream-filling part of the dessert."
"Your favorite part," James inserted.
Kendall's expression turned hot and sweet. "Yeah, you don't enjoy it at all," he retorted, but his voice was so intimate it was impossible not to picture them pressed up together, instead of being separated by six feet of countertop.
"Cut," Alex, the director, called.
"What?" Kendall asked, and James shot him a darker look.
"Dressing room," James said briskly, and Kendall let himself be led off to their green room.
"What did we talk about before I agreed to do this?" James asked as soon as the door was firmly closed behind them. It was bad enough they were airing out their personal shit for the world to see; he was not willing to do it with three-quarters of their co-workers listening in.
"That there was a line," Kendall said, growing concerned. "Did I cross the line?"
James honestly wasn't even sure if Kendall had crossed the line or if he'd crossed it on his own, but suddenly, he felt hot and cold all over, freaked out by how public this all was. Their relationship, and how they'd learned to make it work, completely exposed to everyone.
It was weird that throwing the doors open would make him feel closed-in, but it was happening anyway and he couldn't help it.
"I'm not sure. Maybe I did, without thinking. However it happened, it happened. I freaked out. And Alex must have noticed."
"You did have a weird expression on your face," Kendall said. He reached out and pulled James close to him. James rested his head on Kendall's shoulder. He shouldn't feel less exposed now, with Kendall wrapped around him, but he inexplicably always did. "I'm sorry," he continued, his voice a warm murmur.
"This isn't easy for me," James murmured back. "I'm the one who's sorry for freaking out all the time."
"You didn't get into this expecting to be in front of the camera," Kendall soothed. "I don't blame you for freaking out about it."
"But I agreed to it," James argued. "I agreed, and I knew exactly what I was agreeing to."
"You agreed because you were thinking with your producer hat," Kendall said, a tiny bit amused.
"I knew it would be great TV," James admitted.
"You're amazing, you know," Kendall whispered into his temple. "I love you so much. Even when you freak out. Especially when you freak out."
"At least you didn't come over and start kissing me," James said dryly.
"I wanted to," Kendall said.
James closed his eyes. "I wanted you to." He hesitated. "This is harder than I thought it would be."
"We can always stop," Kendall insisted. "I told Dak this might not work out, and he's okay with whatever. You know that. You probably know that better than me."
"I don't mean...being in front of the camera is too hard. I mean not crossing the line is harder than I thought it would be. I look over at you, and I want to say what I would usually say, I want to do what I would usually do. And it sucks to hold back."
Kendall's fingers clenched; James felt it through the cotton of his button-up, all the way to his skin. He shivered in response.
"How about you do whatever you feel comfortable with, and we'll just figure out the rest," Kendall suggested.
Their relationship was so new, James was still figuring out how Kendall knew the perfect thing to say to make him feel better.
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?" Kendall asked, running a reassuring hand down James' back.
"Always say what I need to hear."
"I know you," Kendall said seriously. "I love you. I assume the two are somewhat related.
James rolled his eyes, even though Kendall couldn't see it ."I can't believe I didn't know right away what a sap you are. I love it. I love you."
"It's only you that brings it out," Kendall admitted. "You know that."
"Thank you for being patient and you know...generally amazing," James said, waving a hand, shockingly unable to verbalize everything Kendall was for him. Which did make sense because he'd discovered that love could very difficult to pin down specifically.
"I told you once, we're going to be what each other needs. A strong relationship doesn't always have two strong people in it. I'm good taking my turn now, and you can take yours later." He paused. "Like during all the marketing and publicity."
James chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."
"You do that," Kendall said, sounding very content, like he never wanted to move.
Someone rapped on the door. James was pretty sure it was Dak.
"Time's up," the voice said. Yep, it was definitely Dak.
"You ready to go back?" Kendall asked.
James knew they didn't have much of a choice, because he was both the producer and the star. He knew they had a strict schedule to keep. "As long as you're next to me. As long as we do this together."
"Always," Kendall said.
Done! So, Kames got their happily ever after, and it looks like there's hope for Carlos and Logan! Possibly even Jett. :P
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter and the story in general, as well as if you happened to have any favorite parts/moments!
Again, I hope you all enjoyed and that you all are staying safe and healthy out there! I hate to see this story come to an end, but this has been another fun ride and I want to thank you all for supporting me through yet another story. I can't thank you all enough. :) Of course with this story finished, Music Of My Soul will take its place, and I have another story coming soon since Easy only has a few chapters left, so I'll definitely still be around. ;)
-Epically Obsessed
