Connie

When she woke up she noticed the blinds were closed in the room, although she could tell it was sunny outside. She tried sitting up and winced a little. She was sore, so it appeared the epidural had worn off. She picked up her glasses from the tray table and put them on. When she looked at the clock, it was a little past 10:30 and she was surprised she'd slept so long. She looked over and saw Chip asleep on the chaise chair. She managed to get out of bed without making noise and walked over to her overnight bag. She rifled through it and pulled out the yoga pants and t-shirt she'd brought. She took off the hospital gown she still had on and pulled on the pants and shirt.

She was surprised, when she looked in the mirror, how pregnant she still looked. She knew, from what friends had told her, that she wouldn't have a flat stomach, but it almost looked like nothing had changed. She glanced over at Chip and saw that he was still sleeping soundly. She really wanted to go see the baby, but she also wanted him to get some sleep. He'd been awake, she knew, the entire time she was in labor and he deserved the rest. She put on some slippers, took her hair down and brushed it, then put it back up in a ponytail, and slipped on her robe. Then she quietly made her way out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.


The maternity floor nurse handed her off to the NICU nurse, who led her to Ryleigh, who was asleep. She pointed at the label that read 'Baby Britton/Esten'. "It's actually Puskar," she said, with a smile.

"We can change it," the nurse said. Then she walked her through everything that was going on with the baby and indicated the chair next to the incubator.

Before she sat, she bit her lip for a second. "When can I hold her?" she asked.

The nurse smiled. "Now, if you like."

She nodded. "Yes, that would be wonderful." She watched as the nurse reached in and, carefully navigating the wires and tubes, brought the tiny infant out and placed her in her arms. Her heart was full as she held her daughter and then the nurse helped her sit in the chair.

"If you can, you should put her on your bare chest, close to your breasts." She somewhat self-consciously lifted and pulled back her shirt, but she realized nurses probably saw a new mom's swollen breasts all the time. The nurse laid a blanket over them so both she and the baby were covered, and she appreciated that.

Feeling her baby's skin against hers brought tears to her eyes. She was still feeling all the hormonal emotions she'd had while she was pregnant, but she felt happy she could hold Ryleigh, even though she was so tiny. She gently put her hand over Ryleigh's back. The nurse suggested she position the baby where she could try to nurse. "Do you think she will?" she asked.

"That's what we want to see. If she doesn't, though, it's okay. You can pump and we can give her your breast milk, which is really what's the best for her. That's one of the things we'll be looking to see, though, that she can latch on and nurse."

She nodded. "Okay. We'll try." She just wanted to hold her first. It was one of the best feelings she'd ever had, she'd decided, holding this tiny being she and Chip had created together. That made her think about him. She looked at the nurse. "I feel bad I didn't wait for Chip. But I was really anxious to see her."

The nurse smiled. "No worries. He was actually down here earlier."

That surprised her. "He was?"

The nurse nodded. "He said you were asleep and he wanted to let you sleep."

She smiled. That was so like him. He had taken such good care of her. "Did he hold her?"

"No, he just gave her a hand hug. A hand on her head and one on her chest. And I saw him talking to her." She smiled. "The next time he comes we'll let him hold her too." She paused. "I'm going to give you some time to get acquainted with Ryleigh."

She nodded her thanks, then focused back on her baby. She was moving her arms and legs just a little and she leaned down to kiss the top of her head very gently. She could feel the tears on her face. "I'm your mama, little one. And I love you so much. Your daddy and I both do, even before you were born. We're going to love you and take care of you the rest of your life." As she held her, with both hands, against her chest she felt a deep, instinctual love for her daughter that was greater than anything she'd ever experienced before. "I loved you before I ever knew you, did you know that? Every little flutter or kick or movement inside my body, I loved you." She pressed her lips on the top of her head again. "Be strong, little one. Fight hard." She leaned her head down as the tears ran down her cheeks. Tears of joy, tears of worry, but most of all, tears of love, for the little girl she held so close.

Chip

He loved watching her. He'd always loved watching her. In the very beginning it was the way she so effortlessly carried a scene or the look on her face as she seemed to tell him with her eyes and expressions what to do next. He'd loved watching her face the very first time he made love to her and he loved watching every single time she had an orgasm. He loved watching her across the room, when they were first together, knowing she was his.

As their love for each other grew, he loved watching how that changed her. At first it was watching her in a scene or being in the scene with her, their delicious secrets binding them together, knowing he was the man who made love to her at night in her bedroom or in her trailer or in a hotel room, as they gave themselves fully to each other. And then he loved watching when the softly rounded, barely visible swell of her belly concealed the best secret of all, that she carried their baby inside her.

He loved watching her as the days and weeks and months went by, her body seeming to change nearly every day. She was beautiful pregnant, lush and sexy, every time they made love just drawing them closer together.

As he stood watching her through the glass, sitting where he had sat, holding their daughter, he felt the most love he ever had for her. Everything she'd gone through, to bring this baby into the world, made him proud of her. Every one of his children were special, but perhaps this one most of all. They had created her and Connie had carried her and protected her until Ryleigh had decided it was time to be born. Watching her hold the child she thought she'd never give birth to was something special to watch.

All he wanted now was for that baby she held in her arms to get stronger and be able to come home to them soon. He felt an ache in his throat and his heart and he turned and walked back the way he had come.

Connie

She was gone longer than she'd meant to be, but she hadn't wanted to stop holding her daughter. One of the nurses had talked her through testing whether Ryleigh was ready to nurse, but all she had done was to fall asleep. She had felt inadequate but the nurse had reminded her it wasn't unusual with a baby who'd come as early as she had. And again she wondered if there was something she had done wrong.

She let the nurse take Ryleigh and then carefully settle her back in the incubator and had watched as the nurse demonstrated the hand hug. Then it was her turn to try. She placed one hand on the baby's chest and cradled her head with the other hand. She felt Ryleigh's little chest rise and fall and felt the fuzz on her head. She'd been told Ryleigh would probably sleep a lot, that preemies often did. She wanted to see Chip, talk to him about his time with her, so she reluctantly left the NICU, after whispering her goodbyes to Ryleigh, promising to be back soon.

When she got back to the room, he was sitting on the chaise, his eyes closed. She walked over and put a hand on his arm and his eyes opened. He smiled and reached for her hand, pulling her down to sit next to him. "Hey there, mama," he said, giving her a kiss.

She wrapped her arms around his arm, leaning her head against his shoulder. "She's so precious," she said.

"Yes, she is," he said. He put his finger under her chin and turned her head to face him. "You look tired."

She smiled. "I guess I am. Having a baby is kind of exhausting." She sighed and leaned her head back on his shoulder. "I heard you went earlier to see her."

He nodded. "I did. I guess I wasn't ready to go to sleep just then. I was so wired. I just wanted to see how she was doing."

"I spent a lot of time with her. I just hope she doesn't have to stay long."

"Me too."

Chip

He could tell it was just starting to get dark outside. It had been a long day. A long day that had started almost 48 hours earlier. 48 hours earlier, if he remembered right, she had felt uncomfortable. They'd had a pleasant, even fun, day searching for the furniture they still needed for the nursery. She'd been in a happy mood and that had carried over until early evening, when it looked about like it did right then. And then her back hurt and she couldn't get comfortable. She'd been restless all night and then, the next day she'd gone into labor. And now they had a baby. A pretty little baby girl. Except she was sleeping in the NICU and they didn't know when she would be able to come home with them.

When he had woken up and had seen that Connie wasn't in the room, he'd called his mom. He had let her know they were going to the hospital, so he knew she was waiting to hear the news. He waited for her to answer and when she did, she excitedly asked, "Is the baby here?"

He smiled, still feeling tired. "Yeah, she is."

"She? It's a girl?"

He chuckled. "Yes, a girl. A beautiful little girl." His emotions got the better of him then and he heard his voice seemed to crack.

"Chip?" his mom sounded concerned. "Is everything alright?"

Tears had filled his eyes then. "Mostly, but, you know, she was early. 7 weeks early. She doesn't even quite weigh 3 ½ pounds." He sighed, feeling a heaviness in his chest. "She's in the NICU, Mom."

"Oh, Chip. How long do you think she'll be there?"

He breathed in and wiped his face, then tried to smile. "We don't know yet. They're telling us maybe not long, but it depends, really, on when she can breastfeed. And gain some weight."

His mom was quiet on the other end. "How's Connie?"

"Well, she was scared and worried and really still is, but she's so strong, Mom. I know she'll be okay." She would. Maybe not right away, but she would.

"What about you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I know I've gotta be there for her, be strong for her, but, well, you know I've been there before..."

"This isn't the same as Addie, son. And it doesn't sound like it isn't something the baby can't overcome. Oh, what's her name, by the way? I don't want to keep calling her 'the baby'."

He smiled. "Ryleigh." He realized that's all they'd discussed. He wasn't sure if she'd be a Britton or a Puskar or both, or if she'd have a middle name, although he supposed that was the least of their problems. Right now they just needed to get her stronger and be able to bring her home with them. "I'll send you a picture when we hang up."

"I'm so happy for you two. And I know Ryleigh will be fine. I feel it. Grandmother's intuition."

He laughed. "I'm counting on that."

"I'm going to want to come see her, but I'll wait until she's home." She paused. "What about Taylor, Chase and Addie?"

"I'll send a text and I guess we'll see."

"It'll all be good. Get some rest. Both of you. You're going to need it."

"We'll do that." When he disconnected, he sent her the picture he'd taken of Ryleigh in the NICU incubator. He hated that she had tubes and wires and monitors attached to her, but he was hopeful that wouldn't be for long. And then he sent the same picture to his kids, with the caption 'Ryleigh's here. Early so she's getting special attention, but she's gonna be okay'.

He suddenly realized Connie was leaning heavily against his shoulder and, when he looked at her, he realized she was asleep. He chuckled and she stirred. She looked at him. "Was I asleep?"

He grinned. "Yeah, I think you were." He kissed her forehead. "Let me get you into bed. You've had a really big day." She smirked at him, but let him pull her up.

Connie

As Chip led her to the bed, she thought about what he'd said. it really had been a big day. Instead of having her baby in the room with them, though, Ryleigh was in the NICU. It still hadn't been even 12 hours since she'd been born. It wasn't what she'd expected, back all those months ago, when she'd found out she was pregnant. It had always been lurking – the idea that her status as a geriatric mom could cause problems – but she had hoped for the best. But Ryleigh was born at 33 weeks, weighed not quite 3 ½ pounds and everything about it frightened her.

The odds she would be perfectly normal were nearly a certainty, she'd been told, so close that it might as well have been 100%, but she knew she wouldn't truly relax until she was able to come home. When they reached the bed, she saw a small pink bag, decorated with 'It's A Girl!' in glitter, and a huge pink and white bow. "What's this?" she asked.

Chip reached for it. "A special gift from a special person," he said with a smile, setting it down on the tray table. He helped her get up on the bed. She was still sore, and would be for a while, so she winced as she let Chip get her settled. Then he handed her the bag and sat on the edge of the bed.

She looked inside first, then pulled out a stuffed unicorn. It was white, with a very light pink mane and tail, and a tiny gold horn on the top of its head. She smiled happily, then looked at Chip. "It's precious!" she exclaimed.

"It's from Yoby," he said. "Welcoming his baby sister to the world."

"He bought this?" she asked, in a teasing voice.

He nodded. "Oh, yes. With that allowance he got for putting his blocks away."

She laughed. "Well, it's very sweet. I hope they'll let her keep it with her." She set it down and looked up at him. "It's hard to believe this has really happened, you know?"

He breathed in and nodded, then leaned in and kissed her, letting his lips linger on hers. She noticed that his face was serious and his eyes were filled with emotion. "I want to marry you, Connie," he said.

She was surprised he was saying it now. His divorce wouldn't be final, at the earliest, until October. She knew she wanted the same thing, wanted them to build a family together, with Yoby and now Ryleigh, but they didn't need to rush things. They had a newborn who was not ready to come home. Work would be challenging. It didn't have to happen right then. "Chip," she said. "I'm not sure..."

He shook his head, cutting her off. "I know what you're gonna say, Connie. That I'm not divorced yet, so it's not even possible right now, but it will be. And I want you to know it's really what I want. I'm committed to you. And Yoby. And Ryleigh."

She picked up the little unicorn and stared at it for a moment. Then she squeezed it against her chest and suddenly started crying. He reached for her, but she pushed his hands away. "I can't deal with that right now, Chip," she said, struggling to control the tears. "I can't even think about it until I know my baby is okay." She wiped her face. "I can't focus on anything but her." He huffed, then got up from the bed, walking across the room. He muttered something she couldn't quite catch. "What did you say?"

He turned back towards her, his face red. "I said, she's not just your baby, Connie."

"That's not what I meant..."

He raised his eyebrows. "And yet you keep saying it." He shook his head, then looked back at her, his eyes filled with sadness. "Look, I don't want us to fight about this and end up saying something we don't want to. I know this has been stressful, for both of us. I need to..." He ran his hands over his head and linked his hands behind his neck for a moment. He sighed, dropping his arms. "I need some air," he said, sounding weary. He turned and let himself out of the room.

"Chip!" she called after him, but she just watched the door close behind him.

The tears started again and she leaned back against the pillows, crying quietly. She turned onto her side and pulled her knees towards her chest, clutching the little stuffed toy. She didn't want to fight, but she felt like her entire focus needed to be on their daughter. There would be time for everything else later.

Chip

After he'd stormed out of the room and halfway down the hallway, he slowed down. He knew better. He knew how stressful it was when you had a sick child. Maybe Ryleigh wasn't sick the way Addie had been, but it was easier than one might expect to pull away from a partner, wrapped up in their own anxiety and worry and fear. He knew how real that was and he didn't want that to happen with them. Connie was on a rollercoaster of emotions, he knew that. Even if Ryleigh were full term and coming home with them, he knew she was anxious about a newborn. She was an amazing mom and he knew she'd be fine, but this was a Connie he'd not known before this. She was always calm and in control, not ruffled. But she was ruffled. Badly.

He stopped at the nurse's station. "Can you tell me how to find the chapel?" he asked.

The nurse smiled. "It's on the first floor. If you go down the elevator, walk through the lobby and it's just past there."

He smiled back. "Thanks." He hesitated, then headed for the elevator. He waited for it to arrive, thinking it had seemed so much slower when he had ridden up in the middle of the night. He sighed. Had it really been less than twenty-four hours earlier when they had come to the hospital? Ryleigh wasn't even a day old yet, but it felt like it had been a week already. He was exhausted, Connie was exhausted, they felt battered and bruised.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside, punching the button for the first floor. He needed to be her support, but he was struggling too. He felt like he was failing her, being pissy and stubborn with her. He looked down at his feet. He knew he probably shouldn't have brought up marriage, but he hadn't been able to stop himself. He knew she was wary of talking about it until he was truly free. But he loved her and he loved her even more now that Ryleigh had arrived. He wanted to be a family and he wanted to declare himself out loud to her. He couldn't help but feel a little sucker punched when she shut him down.

The doors opened on the elevator and he stepped out, looking one way and then the next. The lobby was to his left and he headed that way. He almost passed right by the door with the discreet lettering that read 'Rhea Chapel'. When he opened the door, he found a quiet place with a handful of pews on either side of a center aisle. The lights were dimmed, giving it a peaceful, hushed environment to spend a few quiet minutes.

After a moment, he walked slowly down the aisle and sat in the second pew from the front. There was a crucifix hanging in front of him and he looked up at it. He sat forward, his hands clasped in front of him as he rested them on the back of the front pew. He could feel tears gathering as he thought about his daughter. When she was born, he'd first noticed how small she was and it had scared him. When he saw her in the NICU, with all the wires and monitors around her, she seemed even smaller. Even though they had reassured him she wasn't sick, just needed some time to get stronger, seeing her lying there, her eyes shut, her tiny arms out to her side, he just wasn't at all sure that was really true.

He put his forehead down on his hands. I don't know what I need to do to make this happen, but I need you to please make sure nothing happens to our beautiful Ryleigh. I don't know if Connie could survive it. We need to be able to bring her home, love her, raise her, watch her grow up. He breathed in deeply, the ache in his heart threatening to push him down to his knees. He sat back, closing his eyes, just letting the calm and peace in the room wash over him.

It felt so overwhelming. He didn't want to fail Connie. He was every bit as worried as she was, but he knew she needed him to be strong, so that she could feel all the emotional pain and then find her balance. He didn't want to let her down. He felt the dampness of the tears on his face and he lowered his head, feeling his shoulders shaking as he cried silently, letting himself feel everything he didn't want to burden her with.

He had no idea how long he had been there, but he felt a hand on his arm, and he knew it was her. He looked up at her, seeing both compassion and understanding in her eyes.

Connie

She felt like she sometimes felt when she was doing a tricky scene or had to work late because they couldn't get it to work. Mentally exhausted and bone tired. She had felt that way when she had moved to Nashville before the first season, when she was still feeling her way as a mom and tackling a role that took her far out of her comfort zone. It had been just a year ago – that's really all it's been? – and she wasn't sure she'd ever not felt like that. But this seemed to have pushed her over the edge, to a place where she hardly recognized the woman she had become.

She wanted to give herself a pass, blame all the crazy emotions and reactions on raging pregnancy hormones and worries that being a 'geriatric' mom meant nothing but heartache on the horizon. At that moment, every ounce of her was focused on the tiny little wisp of a girl who was in a NICU with a lot of other babies like her. Or even worse. She and Chip had been lucky. Their baby would come home – she did really know that deep in her bones – and would enchant her parents as she grew up into her own person. She couldn't help but think about the emotional maelstrom they'd lived in for the past year. When she thought about those first few weeks and months, it had felt like she had fought her way upstream. It wasn't just a new role that took her far out of her comfort zone and it wasn't just learning to balance that with learning to be a mom. She had fought the headwinds of a relationship she didn't want but that she had known deep in her soul would be the one that truly completed her. When she had first laid eyes on the precious little being she had created with that man, in that relationship, she had felt a peace and a contentment she had never known. It had only lasted seconds, as she watched their daughter being whisked away. Now she needed him, to hold her up and hold her tight, but he wasn't there.

She sat up, putting aside the unicorn she was still holding onto. She gingerly slid down from the bed and reached for her robe. Then she headed down the hallway, not really sure where she was going.


She felt a little self-conscious as she stood outside the elevator. When she got on and the doors closed behind her, she suddenly realized she was just wearing pajamas and a robe, in a very public place. She hadn't showered since the day before. Her hair felt dirty. Her body ached. She stared at her reflection in the distorted mirrored surface of the door. She folded her hands over her waist, not able to hide the still prominent bump she'd thought would be gone as soon as her baby was born. Even still, her boobs looked huge, like they'd been pumped up with air. I look like Dolly Parton, she thought, and then laughed a little. There were people in the lobby when she got off the elevator, but no one really looked at her. She hurried down the hall anyway.

When she pushed open the door to the chapel, she felt as though she'd been drawn there. She was a little startled and unreasonably peeved when she saw that someone was sitting in one of the pews up front. As she started to leave, she looked again and thought the person looked familiar, then realized it was Chip. She walked towards him and saw his shoulders shaking. She frowned and stepped into the pew, putting her hand on his arm. When he looked up at her, she saw sadness in his eyes and immediately sat down next to him, pulling him into her embrace.

When he put his arms around her, she felt tears in her eyes. "It's okay, sweetheart," she murmured into his ear.

"I'm sorry," he replied, his voice muffled against her neck. When he pulled back and looked into her eyes, her heart broke.

She put her hands on his face and brushed back his tears. "Don't," she said, shaking her head and trying to smile. "It's been hard for both of us." She swallowed. "I just want us to be together now. Supporting each other." She smiled again. "You don't have to carry all this inside."

He breathed in, then smiled back at her. "I wanted to be strong for you…and for her," he said.

She nodded. "You are. We're both very, very lucky to have you here." She sat back then and took his hands. "Now, I don't know about you, but I'm really hungry," she said with a laugh. "I realized I haven't eaten all day."

He smiled more broadly, then chuckled. "Me too, actually. Why don't I go get us something?"

"I love that idea." She smirked. "I'd love some pizza."

He laughed, pulling her into his arms. "Pizza it is, then." He kissed her. "I'll go get pizza, then we go say goodnight to our girl."

She relaxed into his embrace, feeling comforted by it. "I think that's the perfect plan," she said, glad they were doing this together.

Chip

"No! Please, no!"

He sat up, instantly awake. His heart was thudding in his chest and he could barely catch his breath. He looked over at Connie and she was sitting up in her bed, her hands on her chest, still moaning the word no. he pushed back the light blanket that was draped over him and was beside her bed in an instant. He reached for her hands. In the dim light of the room, he could see that her eyes were wide open with fear.

"Baby, what is it?" he asked, gasping for breath.

She focused her gaze on him. "Something's wrong with Ryleigh." She pushed against his hands and tried to get past him. She winced and then made a noise, and he assumed she was still sore. "Please, Chip, we have to get to her."

He forced himself to breathe in and out. "Connie, she's okay. A nurse would come if she weren't."

She grimaced. "I can feel it, Chip. In my bones. I need to go to her." She frowned. "Please help me."

"Connie..."

She raised her voice. "Help me. She needs me."

He truly didn't think something would happen to Ryleigh and the nurse wouldn't come let them know. But he could see she was agitated and decided not to argue. He took her hand and then put his other hand under her elbow and helped her off the bed. She grabbed her robe and frantically pushed her arms through the sleeves, already heading for the door. "Connie," he called after her, then gave up and just followed.


By the time they go to the NICU, he was feeling a little anxious too. He still thought she had probably just dreamed it, but, as she'd told him before, she was the one who had carried Ryleigh in her belly and knew her the most intimately. She got to Ryleigh mere seconds before he did. They both stood there just watching her. She looked peaceful, her little chest rising and falling rhythmically, her eyes closed, her arms and legs relaxed. The nurse at her side stood up.

"Is she okay?" Connie asked, sounding a little frantic. She was wringing her hands together in front of her and she looked like she was ready to cry. He put his hand on her back of her arm, then looked back at their daughter, lying there, oblivious to what was happening around her.

The nurse gave them a sympathetic smile. "She's holding her own," she said. "She's already doing better. Her breathing is easier tonight."

He felt like his throat were closing up and he swallowed. "That's good, right?" The nurse nodded.

"Can we...sit here with her for a minute?" Connie asked.

"Of course," the nurse said. "As long as you like." She pointed. "I'll be right over there if you need anything."

She looked at him a little sheepishly. "I guess I was dreaming, or something."

He shook his head. "It's okay," he reassured her. "She's lucky to have you."

She swiped at her eyes, then laughed a little self-consciously. "It's not like I don't already have a kid. I feel like I'm being ridiculous."

He pulled her in for a hug. "You're not ridiculous, baby," he murmured against her hair. "You're a mama. You're her mama. And it's been a lot." He pulled back and helped her to sit. Then he sat down next to her.

She reached for his hand. "I know I'm being a mess, Chip. I don't mean to be. And I don't mean to be sharp with you." She sighed. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to relax until we can take her home."

They leaned back and he put his arm around her. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he took her hand. "You know what?"

She turned her head to look up at him. "What?"

He smiled down at her. "I love you."

She smiled back. "I love you too." She looked thoughtful. "Chip, I know I've been so emotional and I know you want to be strong for me, but, you know, I want you to feel what you feel. Don't feel like you have to hide it from me. I want to do all of this with you and I want to be able to be strong for you too, when you need me to be." She squeezed his hand and he felt that tightness in his chest. "I mean, I'm a geriatric mom and I'm going to need help in case I get tired or need help carrying her upstairs, or something." Her eyes twinkled merrily and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Same, baby," he said, kissing her forehead. "Same."

Connie

When she woke up the next morning, she looked over towards the chair Chip had slept in, but he wasn't there. She sat up and then gingerly slid off the bed. She felt refreshed. When she and Chip had come back from the NICU, she had quickly fallen into a deep sleep. There hadn't been any more dreams, just the sweet feeling of being wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by darkness. She thought she might take a shower and change out of the hospital gown. Just as she started for the bathroom, a nurse came bustling in.

"Oh, hello, Ms. Britton," the nurse said, surprised, she supposed, to see her out of bed.

She smiled. "Hey there. I was thinking about getting a shower." She paused. "If it's okay."

The nurse smiled. "Of course it is. I was just going to check your blood pressure and your temperature and see that you had everything you needed, but I can come back."

"Thanks. I feel kind of icky, you know?" She laughed softly. "Um, have you seen my...partner?" I've got to figure out a way to be more smooth with that.

"Oh, yes, he's down the hall making some phone calls. You want me to let him know you're awake?"

She thought about it. "Uh, yeah, you can, but tell him he doesn't have to rush back." She gestured towards the bathroom. "I really need that shower." She grinned.

An understanding smile crossed the nurse's face. "Understood. I'll let him know then." She started for the door, then turned back. "I know your baby's in the NICU. I hope she won't be there long."

She felt the sudden rush of tears to her eyes. "Thanks. Me too."

"Well, you go ahead and get that shower. I'll be back a little later." And then she hurried out.

She stood where she was for a moment. She really did need that shower. She felt grimy, from the sweat and having not had a shower for over 24 hours. She picked up her robe and a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom, looking forward to the warm water running down over her body.


She hated to finally get out of the shower, but the water was starting to cool down and her fingers looked like prunes, so she forced herself to turn off the water and get out. She was also anxious to see Ryleigh but glad she felt clean and refreshed. She got dressed and combed her wet hair back off her face. She felt immensely better. When she finally walked out of the bathroom, Chip was back, sitting in the chair across the room with his phone. He looked up when she came out. "Hey, baby," he said, with a smile. "Feeling better?"

She nodded. "Yes. Much." She walked over and sat in the chair next to him, as he set his phone on the table between the chairs. "I was surprised you were already up."

He shrugged. "I think I might have gotten more sleep than you, but you really needed it. It was a long day yesterday."

She nodded. "I want to go see her."

"I know. Me too."

She smiled. "You haven't already?"

He smiled back at her. "Nah. I decided I'd wait for you today. I was making some phone calls and answering texts."

"Did you talk to your mom? And your sister? And your kids?"

He nodded. "I called Mom yesterday and then talked to Cathy this morning. I texted the kids." He paused. "And I texted Callie and some of the folks on the show."

"I guess I need to do some of that too." She reached out and put her hand on his knee. "Did the kids call you or anything?"

"Yeah. Well, Taylor did. Chase and Addie sent texts." She was relieved he'd at least heard from all of them. "They were all glad everything went well but worried a bit because she's in the NICU. I told them we had every reason to believe she'd be fine and home soon." He reached for her hand and squeezed it, then smiled at her. "You wanna go see Ryleigh?"

"Well, let me dry my hair and then yes, absolutely."


It still seemed surreal. Ryleigh still looked super tiny and it scared her a little. They talked to the doctor and the nurses who had tended her overnight and there had been no changes, which they reassured them was positive. She'd still gotten emotional when the doctor said Ryleigh wouldn't be ready to come home right away. He had explained that the baby still needed some breathing assistance and they wanted to be sure she was gaining weight appropriately and able to come off the feeding tube. The good news was that she had slept peacefully and they were both happy to hear that. After the doctor left, they had turned back and Ryleigh was awake, her eyes looking around, the fingers on her right hand flexing a little.

She had gotten to hold her, skin on skin again. Kangaroo care, they told her it was called. All she knew was that it felt like heaven to hold her daughter against her chest. She still wasn't gravitating towards her breast, but even as disappointed as she was about it, she was just glad Ryleigh was holding her own.

When she asked Chip if he wanted to hold her, he nodded a little apprehensively. The nurse had assisted in placing the baby on his bare chest, the same as she had done, and as she watched him with her, she was overwhelmed with emotions. The hand he placed on her back was almost as big as she was, but he was incredibly gentle with her. She could see the tears in his eyes as he rocked her, periodically kissing the top of her head.

She felt so incredibly lucky that he was Ryleigh's father and she felt comforted knowing that no matter what the future held, he was already head over heels in love with his daughter. She wiped her eyes and smiled as she watched them together. It was pretty much the best thing she thought she'd ever seen.

Chip

Connie was coming home. He stopped at the Starbucks near the hospital and got her the chai latte she loved and a plain coffee for himself. It was just Connie he'd be bringing home and he wasn't completely sure what to expect. She had gotten Dr. Hamilton to figure out a way for insurance to approve her staying two extra days in the hospital. Two extra days she could spend with Ryleigh for however long she wanted. He was finding that she was spending most of her time there.

She kept telling him she was okay, that she was handling things with Ryleigh and getting used to the idea that the baby wouldn't come home with them. But he knew that wasn't really the truth. She wasn't eating a lot, because she was so worried about the baby. The nurses kept encouraging her to eat more, so she could pump more breast milk for Ryleigh. She wanted to but he could see as the hours wore on that she was struggling, even though she kept telling him she was not.

He'd spent two nights at home, for several reasons. One was that, as willing as Jessie and Nathan were to keep Yoby, and as comforting as that felt to him and Connie, he didn't want to seem as though they were taking advantage. It had been too long since Yoby had seen his mom and he had felt like having him there made a difference for the little boy. He also had appointments in wardrobe. They would start rehearsing the following week and there were the inevitable shooting schedule changes due to Connie giving birth. She wouldn't start filming with everyone else and that meant they would film everything else that didn't include her until she came back to work.

That was another thing. Callie and Dee wanted her back as soon as possible but, especially with Ryleigh in the NICU, Connie wanted more time at home with her. It was a delicate balance between how close they could get to the season starting before she started to film and her resistance to giving up time with the baby. He could see how exhausted she was, her emotions all right at the surface. They had joked before about her being a 'geriatric mom' – or at least she had – but much of what she was going through was because she just wasn't going to bounce back as quickly. Adding that to the stress over Ryleigh just meant she needed the time for herself, not just for the baby.

Although she'd been okay with him going home to Yoby at night, she missed him, and he knew that. He missed her when he wasn't there. He loved watching her when he was, seeing how she was bonding with their daughter, how tenderly she treated her, and how much Ryleigh seemed to thrive with her mom. It was a beautiful thing, seeing them together. Her face would light up when he arrived and she would tell him everything that had happened while he was gone. The time they spent together, with Ryleigh, just seemed to bond them closer together as well.

He needed her to come home though. She needed a break from the hospital. Yoby needed her. He needed her. He knew she'd been dreading having to leave the hospital, but Ryleigh wasn't in any danger and he knew it would help Connie to get back to some normalcy. He walked into the hospital from the parking deck and waited for the elevator.

When he got to her room, he was a little surprised to see her there. "Hey," he said as he walked in, handing her the chai latte.

She smiled as she took the drink, putting one hand on his cheek. "Thanks, babe," she said. "I really appreciate this." She was dressed, her hair pulled back off her face, and although she looked tired, she also glowed. She sipped at the drink. "I missed you," she said, her voice a little wistful.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. "I missed you too." He put his coffee down and then took hers from her hand, setting it down as well. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her tight. He felt her relax against him, leaning her head on his shoulder, sliding her arms around his waist. He ran his hand up and down her back. "It's gonna be okay, baby," he said softly and he felt her nod against his shoulder.

"I just need to pack my things and then I'll be ready." He nodded and walked over to the window, knowing she was probably still working through the idea of leaving Ryleigh behind. She needed to come home though. Home to him.