Hi, so another chapter and a short and sweet authors note to accompany it. Next chapter will be the last of Ginny at Hogwarts before she goes home for Easter. Speaking of Easter i wish you all a happy one with lots of chocolate.
Disclaimer-Nothing is mine.
Please Read and Review.
Also i wish you all reading this to stay safe and stay well. I will try and update sooner rather than later.
Beat Your Heart Out
Chapter 16-We Happy Few
Ginny goes back to Hogwarts and lays the groundworks for her continued rebellion and her escape if something were to happen while she is at Hogwarts. Patronus charms are now being cast and Hagrid becomes the latest casualty of war at the school.
The train ride back was muted. For the first time (and that included Umbridge) Ginny felt disheartened to go back. The snow was still thick upon the ground but a thin sheet of persistent rain had hit as they left London and Ginny just knew the courtyard was going to be a dangerously icy rink when they got of the carriages.
There were heartbreaking absences. Luna had been taken captive by the Death Eaters, Susan Bones had now gone into hiding with her family. She had lost an Uncle in the First Wizarding War and an Aunt in the second and her father the last of the Bones siblings had been in weak health before that. Parvati's whose own father had been confined to bed over Christmas was also morose telling how she had ran into Jack Sloper as she had come on the train who had told her that Dezmela Robbins the muggle born girl Ginny had come to be quite close with last year was now on the run having been spotted and losing both her parents and how Ritche Coote was also missing.
Ginny though her heart broke for all those involved, had bigger things to worry about quite frankly.
Ginny was very aware of the fact that she was now getting to be quite visibly pregnant. The Illusion Cream was still working it's magic but she was aware in the way only a teenager could be that people were staring. She did look overweight, she also looked drawn and pale and quite weepy as she always was these days and she knew that more and more people were losing faith in the cause that Harry had dedicated so much and had lost so much too. Time had stretched on this year without ending and she thought that she as Harry's girlfriend (ex—her brain reminded her helpfully—his ex girlfriend) and Ron's sister she thought she was the one who was getting the most looks.
She refrained from touching or rubbing her stomach knowing that even if the people in surrounding her couldn't see the bump they certainly would notice if she was rubbing her stomach as if she had an ache. But the problem was it was hard. She had been used to in the privacy of her own bedroom rubbing her bump, the marks that were showing upon her skin were getting redder and they were aching in a way she had never felt before. The robes hid most of the bump but her skirt was rubbing her tightened skin raw even when she sat down. She dreaded to think what she was going to look like when she got this skirt off.
The baby kicked. Ginny winced. The kid was seriously going to town on her bladder right now. There was a pause where she sat there and then the baby kicked again as if he found the journey of the train too slow. Neville who was in the same carriage as her looked up from where he was writing what looked like his Charms essay. He caught Ginny's eyes and the grinned once looking more like the boy she had gone to the Yule Ball with rather than the man that he was now with the scar on the back of his hand and the burn from the curse on his collarbone.
"Some of us have to think about our NEWTS…all in all they are still going ahead."
Ginny snorted at the irony and turned her attention to the window. there was a pause and then Neville spoke again.
"So I got you something else" he said into the silence. Ginny turned to him and then Neville pulled out of his bag something wrapped in paper tissue and poorly wrapped to boot. Ginny took it and opened it. She grinned. Not for the first time she was glad that Neville had adopted the cautious habit of locking the door, casting silencing charms over it and then dropping down the blinds.
It was a tiny outfit for a baby, it was red with a big smiling yellow lion in the middle of it. Ginny found she couldn't speak as she looked at it. It was the first piece of clothing she had gotten for her baby and she thought that had Harry been there—she shook her head staring at the red fleecy fabric and fighting the urge to cry for so many different reasons even though she knew that it would do nothing good.
"I got it from a muggle shop over New Years, I mean because it was a muggle shop they didn't have one for Gryffindor but I figured this was as good as I could get. I know your probably gonna find clothes yourself and all but…well…when you go into hiding it might be years before we see each other again…"
Neville didn't comment on the fact that they might never see each other again and neither did Ginny. Never before had she been more aware of the fact that the life that she had taken for granted for nearly seventeen years was gone. She was sixteen, she was a solider in a war where there was no end in sight and more to the point she was pregnant with the baby of the number one man that the enemy wanted dead. Her life even without those things was going to change, but if she did get a chance to live outside of going into hiding then it could be years until she did a normal thing.
Instead of acknowledging this she stood up and hugged him. Ginny tried to say a lot of things in that hug and she thought that Neville understood. He buried himself within a copy of a Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts soon afterwards and Ginny looked out of the window reminding herself sternly that she had grown up with six brothers and that her bedroom at the school awaited for when she wanted a good cry.
That night in her dorm room she took out her knitting needles. Hermione had left stuff at the Burrow including the wool and the needles she had used to make hats and gloves and other such assortment of things for both the house elves and for herself when she got good at such things. The needles were still enchanted and Ginny watched as she thought of what she wanted them to knit. By the time she had brushed her teeth and had gone for the umpteenth time to the bathroom to pee a pair of white socks were already folded on the bed and a white hat fit for a little baby was being made.
That night when she slept she did not cry. She smiled.
And mercifully the baby kept of her bladder.
The aim of the game was to keep the students learning as much as they could. With the grounds now being patrolled by Dementor's and Hogsmeade visits being restricted there was never a time more than to teach people how to use the Patronus charm.
It was bloody hard though. Most sixth and seventh years knew the theory and therefore could cast the charm, within seconds of demonstrating Seamus's fox was joined by Lavender's small rabbit and Parvati's badger. Neville was still struggling with anything other than puffs of smoke but towards the end of the first week back everyone even the younger students could create puffs of smoke and two fifth year girls and a sixth year boy managed to send a donkey, a basset hound and a monkey sauntering throughout the common room. By the time the common room cleared it was past midnight and Ginny could feel each time she climbed upstairs weather or not she was teaching or having an early night. She found that she was sleeping easier. She found that her head hit the pillow and stayed there from night until morning and on some weekends it was a struggle to get out of bed for anything other than food.
She got through those dreamy weeks in January as the weather was bitterly cold by pretending to Lavender and Parvati that she wanted some time alone, and they left her to her own devices. She knew they thought that this war was catching up with her. They had all had their months of lethargic energy where they could barely get out of bed. Ginny knew that even though they didn't act like it they were still kids fighting a war that in reality was not designed for them.
The baby kicked heavily on her bladder. She could feel sweat drip down her back whenever she was in classes despite the cold temperature and she felt like she was constantly on the edge of tears.
She wanted to be on her own constantly. She didn't want to sit there at the table in the common room or in the library and paste on a smile and pretend it was going to be ok. She wanted to sleep and cry and break apart in the privacy of her own room. After a lifetime of six brothers and battling to keep your emotions down and of shouting rather than crying Ginny finally allowed herself to weep in a way she had never done so before.
She cried for the life that she had, for the one that she was heading towards and then perhaps more importantly for the one that was growing inside of her. There was something about how the baby moved inside her that brought home the fact that there was a very good chance Harry would never see this baby in his life. There had been no news on him since he had last been seen and he had been seen in the Ministry of Magic causing utter chaos for reasons that were beyond Ginny's understanding. She was holding onto the comment Seamus had made rather sharply when some third year had asked, that no news was good news and that if something had happened it would be all over the Prophet faster than you could say Quidditch. Ginny found that she was clinging to that.
There were heartbreaking absences though, Dean had been mentioned on the latest Potterwatch as still on the run but with the deaths of many muggleborns Ginny couldn't help but think it was only going to be a matter of time before they caught up with Dean, before they caught up with Ron and Hermione and Harry.
It was hard to do the mundane things as January turned into February. She tried to focus on the day to day things but she had no idea what was going on around her sometimes. She had wanted to go and see Hagrid but she had a feeling she would dissolve into tears as soon as she saw the kind smile that he was offering every time he was in the Great Hall. She knew he was up to something, half of the first years seemed to be going to see him more than usual and on the first day of February she got her answer when she was awoken in the night by Grace crashing into her room her blonde hair askew.
"Ginny! There here for Hagrid!"
Ginny had been drifting off safe and snug under the blankets, it had been a good night because the baby had not been kicking as much which made sleeping a whole lot easier. She bolted upright wand in hand only to receive a very hard kick directly in her bladder region that had her wincing. The baby had started. She snuck a hand under the covers so that she was rubbing the skin her hands bitter.
"What?"
"They know, Death Eaters, Ministry whatever, they know, they know that Hagrid's been throwing Support Harry Potter parties In his hut, I went to the bathroom and I saw the lights and the curses.
"Where's Neville?" Ginny said sitting up. She needed a moment to appreciate the sheer insanity of what she was hearing right now. Support Harry Potter Parties, in a wooden hut. Of course, typical Hagrid.
"He's gone down to the Entrance Hall with Seamus but he said to tell you that he has it all under control"
"Ok" Ginny said unsure of why Grace had woken her if she was not being called upon to fight. Fortunately the girl elaborated.
"I think you might need to come and stop the rest of the house. It's Hagrid, we all like him and everyone wants to help.
By everyone Ginny assumed she meant the trio of terror that were Tommy, Alfie and John who were still chomping to get involved in the war more than they were now. Ginny sighed. A part of her wanted to turn on her side and go back to sleep but then the rational part of her brain kicked in and told herself that she would soon not have a chance to do this. She had to get the first years to listen to her while she still could. Besides…she thought with a wry smile, she could use the fucking practice.
"Alright, go downstairs I'll be there in a second"
Grace scampered off and Ginny took a moment to acknowledge how worried she was. Hagrid was her friend, he was a good ally and a shoulder to cry on, not to mention she knew Harry considered him family. He had been one of the few people who had not stared at her when the Chamber debacle had been over and he had been nothing but kind to her when she had tried to apologise for her role in his false imprisonment and the fact that she had killed most of his roosters. Indeed when she had started sobbing he had patted her on the back, served her a very strong cup of tea and had showered her with stories of what her brothers had gotten up to before she had arrived which had cheered her up to no end.
But really? Support Harry Potter Parties?
The baby kicked inside of her as it to say that he too thought it was just strange.
It took a bit of wrangling but Ginny got the first years to calm down, the second and the third who were also up in arms decided to burn off their frustration at the world outside their Common Room door by practising their Patronus charms, driven out of curiosity the first years joined in and by three in the morning, Grace had produced once a small silver kitten which had looked around in surprise and then disappeared as Grace beaming, sweaty and utterly physically and magically exhausted had to go back to bed to sleep.
At four as rain hit the window panes most of the house had gone back to bed. Neville showed up with Seamus who had another cut to join the gash already healing under his eye to tell the rest of them that Hagrid, Fang and a half giant called Grawp had escaped into the mountains, two Death Eaters were unconscious and due to Snape's and the Carrow's appearance he and Seamus had, had to hide in the girls loos for an hour and a half.
"Greengrass helped us out" he muttered once to Ginny. "Don't know how she got there but she was waiting as we came running, shut us up in the bathroom and then scarpered. Course she's Slytherin so she got away with whatever it was that she was doing there, but she's got news as well. Xeno Lovegood was hauled off to Azkaban this afternoon"
Ginny inhaled once and turned her attention to the dispersing crowd. Finally when it was just her, Neville and Seamus in the common room she sat down belly making it difficult underneath her dressing gown—though she knew that the cream was still working and raised an eyebrow at Neville for him to elaborate.
"Apparently he was tried to exchange Harry for Luna"
Ginny stood up and went to stare out the window into the rain, neither Neville nor Seamus stopped her staring at the water lashing against the glass. For a moment she couldn't speak as she fought to get herself under control.
"He's alive?"
"Yeah" Seamus said heavily. "Apparently all the Death Eaters saw were him and Hermione, so that's going to be the front page tomorrow, they didn't see Ron so you should be safe. Though how long your illness story is gonna keep up…" he trailed off. Ginny shook her head. She was on borrowed time either way, she had known that before she had known she was pregnant.
"Excuse me" she said and she slipped up the stairs stopping to listen in as Seamus spoke to Neville.
"Is there something going on with her Nev? I know Lav jokes that I don't get women, hard to do that sometimes, but…but…I'm not stupid…I think…I mean…is she…is she alright? He finished lamely but Ginny knew, she knew, that he had been about to ask something else, her time, her secret, all of it was nearly running out. Her heart turned over as she waited Neville's reply.
"She's no more better than the rest of us" Neville said heavily. "Sometimes Seamus, I feel like an old man and her dormitory is empty, at least we've still got each other"
Seamus turned his head so it was half in shadow, Ginny could see his jaw working furiously.
She didn't want to listen to anymore.
She climbed back up the stairs in silence, got out of her dressing gown and into bed. The baby clothes were in a small bag that she had packed if she had to run, the dragon, the books, other memories from her time at Hogwarts. This room and this dormitory were empty of the life that had once been filled with it.
She turned on her side trying to get comfortable and just before sleep claimed her (thankfully before any kind of tears) Ginny reached for her wand and muttered the spell.
She thought she saw the makings of a large silver animal giving light to the room before her eyelids shut and she fell asleep thinking it was her usual horse Patronus. It was perhaps a good thing that sleep claimed her then before she got the chance to see where a horse had once been, a prancing silver doe much like one miles away, weeks ago, Harry Potter had seen, waiting for a chance to be reunited with it's lost mate.
If it worked for Tonks and Lily i dont see why it didnt work for Ginny. I truly believe over time her Patronus would have changed. Call me romantic but that's what i think
As always i will aim to udpate sooner rahter than later. Let me know what you think.
Next Chapter-Time moves on, Ginny says her goodbyes, Astoria and Ginny come to an understanding, thje Easter Holidays arrive. Ginny prepares for the inevitable.
