APOV

My department here at WSU was buzzing even though no lessons were being taught. All here now were here for one reason and that was to make sure everything we were taking with us on our trip in the morning was packed up and everything that wasn't here yet was traced and those responsible berated for their lack of urgency.

We had seeds and grain to take with us, tools to help those there plant them. Clothes were also essential to take and I've had many of them donated too from staff and students at the university. Even though I started the project in East Africa years ago, there are still always those who go without, always those desperate for help to feed and clothe their families and to keep them healthy too.

I always remember seeing those advertisements on TV for charities when I was a lot younger, of children starving in far off countries, those in power more interested in the weapons they could purchase than feeding those in need. I remember thinking why if that is the situation you were living in would you want to bring a child into that. As I've learnt often on my travels though, women, girls are put in those situations through no fault of their own while the men, the animals who hurt them go off on their merry way, having no care to what they leave behind. Not all children born into hunger are there because of abuse though, I've met many a family man also who is desperate to feed his wife, his children and just needs the tools to. That is why the vaccines that we're taking are important because no matter how each child came to be on this earth, they have a right to live.

A right to live, but my child didn't. I find that hard to bear sometimes but I have to continue, make what I do something they would've been proud of, Ray too even though neither of them is here to see it.

"I wonder how the vegetables are growing," Libby said as we closed the door on the truck that was filled to the brim, all ready to leave tomorrow for the airport.

"Very well," I replied, pulling the photos up on my phone that had been sent to me by Dembe, the director of the school and orphanage where she lives.

The photos showed the vegetables growing in ground that would have once been barren. The nutrients added to the soil as well as the work we did with it making it now a perfect environment to grow food. It is so much hard work for such a small area but it's a start.

Leaving the university behind, I headed home for what will be my last night here for a month. Bypassing the house for just a few minutes, I made my way into my own vegetable garden. This is what I want all land to be like, what all children should grow up to enjoy. Being able to eat the peas from their pods, to make a meal that means no child goes to sleep hungry. I know most will see it as a pipe dream but it's my dream and I will continue to look for new ways for food to grow, new ways for it to flourish as long as I can. My dream originally was to help one child but now, I can help many more.

"While you're daydreaming do you think you could pick us some corn for dinner," Grandma said, making me jump for a second as I turned to her with a smile.

"It's not a daydream, or maybe it is."

"Whatever you're thinking of or planing, I'm sure it will be a reality soon enough" she spoke as I pulled up some corn for us to eat, a thing that she nodded to. "Remember what you told me your first year here that you would like to eat your favourites all year round. If you can get corn ready to harvest here at this time of year, you can do anything, my dear."

Grilled corn, steak and potatoes made a delicious dinner and that was followed by grandmas home-made cheesecake. I will miss grandma so much when I'm away but I know she will be here waiting for me when I return with open arms just like she always has done since the first time I stepped through the door.

"Have you spoken to the boys?" she asked as we sat on the porch as the light started to fade once I had put the stubborn alpaca's away for the night. They knew something was up, Barnard especially, they would only realise what that was when I didn't come to see them the next day.

"Yesterday, but not today," I replied, before taking a sip of my tea. "I sent Christian a message to let him know that I will send him a full report from there as technically it's his company and the university that are funding the trip this time."

"Sweetheart, they may have funded your research and gave you the equipment to play in the mud for the past few years. What you've been doing abroad though you've been doing it a lot longer than that. What seeds, medicines and tools you take, that all comes from you and those silly days you had at the university to raise money for it."

"Yes, who knew sitting in a bath of cold custard could do wonders for your skin," I said, making her laugh.

"I will take your word for it" she replied.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright with me gone, your hand?" I asked, carefully taking it within my own.

"I will be fine sweetheart, you've made sure that I have enough help here, more than enough so that I could put my feet up the whole time that you're gone."

"If you do put your feet up, take photos because I won't believe it unless you do" I laughed, moving out of her way so she couldn't poke me in the side.

"I will be fine Ana, I look forward to seeing the results of your work and I suspect there will be a lot back here eager to get those results too."

Before I went to bed that night, I spoke to Luke who was on his way to Miami to see his parents who live there now. I've done the hot weather of Florida, Georgia at times I felt was hotter than that. Neither are places I want to visit again and a few others, places that I spent months in hell with her. I told Luke that, he replied that if he saw her again it would be her life that would be hell then.

I also sent Christian a message as he hadn't picked up his phone when I called, not realising until I woke the next morning that he had sent one back during the night.

Sorry, I missed your call, I will speak to you soon. Sleep tight Boo xx – Christian

Arriving at the airfield that afternoon, I was surprised to see the plane that was being loaded up with supplies had Grey Enterprises Holdings written on the side. Turning to Michael, I asked him what was going on.

"With all the supplies that you're taking, it was thought that you might need a bigger plane," Michael told me but my attention, my eyes were on the man who had just stepped out of the cabin and now stood at the top of the steps with a nervous smile upon his face.

"Christian, what are you doing here."

"In my message, I told you I would speak to you soon."

"Yes, but I thought on the phone. Shouldn't you be at work."

"I should be but I took some time off" he replied, walking down the steps towards me. "I know this is your project but I thought I could tag along, see what you've been doing out in this big bad world."

"Have you had your vaccinations?" I asked, unable to control my smile.

"Yes, don't worry about me. They're all up to date thanks to a business trip I made to South Africa not long before I saw you again."

We both looked to my left when we heard a cough, and a flash of light, seeing my three companions, Libby, Hannah and Jasper all with smiles on their faces and Libby holding my camera in her hand.

"First photo of the trip done, now are you going to introduce us Professor, Lambert," Libby asked, making me roll my eyes at the teasing way she asked.

"It's Ana, I've not been your professor for a while Libby, and anyway you all know who this is as you were teasing me about the graduation photo yesterday. If you have forgotten in your clouded thoughts of sun and getting away, this is Christian Grey."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all" Christian laughed, standing by my side as each of my former students introduced themselves.

I noticed the smile on Hannah's face at how close Christian and I stood together as once again the click of the camera was heard, she would never know we had been a hell of a lot closer than that.

"Give me that camera Libby before the memory is all used up before we leave the ground," I said, holding my hand out for it.

"Just documenting the start of our trip" she teased, giving it to me before she took her bags onto the plane.

We loaded up the hold with what we were taking, all moving out of the way when the pallets of rice, grain and seeds were put on. Stepping into the cabin after I had hugged Michael goodbye, I wanted to whistle as Jasper had done with how luxurious it was.

"You certainly know how to travel in style," I said, finding an aisle seat before I stood again so Christian could take the window seat.

"You still don't like to fly," he asked, smiling at me.

"I've gotten used to it over the years, I've had to if I want to continue my research. I was in Britain earlier this year, speaking at a conference about sustainability and product growth and the work we've been doing at the university and how it compares to other work done around the world. Every day is a school day my grandmother always says and I took just as much information away from that conference as I gave out."

"Why haven't I heard about it," he asked quietly before shaking his head.

"Michael said information was sent to the company funding our research just like all reports are," I told him.

"I'm ashamed to say although those reports are received, they're passed straight to the department I have at GEH who deal with donations and the companies that receive them. They go through them and let me know the basic details and if my investment is working or not…. There is always something else to read."

"Something more important," I stated.

"No, not more important, just more demanding. I find out how the work at WSU is progressing but obviously, details of conferences and the day to day work in the departments are left out. I'm proud of you Ana, for not just what you do at the university but for where we're going now."

"One person can always make a difference, even if that difference is just to one life," I said, repeating something that Ray had said to me long ago when the first vegetables we planted in his garden started to flourish. I had told him with just those few seeds we had planted that I wanted to feed the world.

"He was a good man," Christian said, brushing a lone tear away from my cheek as he knew just who had first spoken those words.

"He was, the best."

Feeling the plane start to move and hearing the pilots voice through the cabin letting us know that we had clearance for take-off, like always I gripped the arms of my seat.

Yes, I had to fly for work but that didn't mean that my stomach wouldn't be in knots and I enjoyed being propelled into the air in a tin can. I watched as Christian released my hand from its hold on the armrest closest to him, taking it into his as we left the ground behind us.

The flight was smooth, I mean how could it not be in the luxurious plane we were in. I slept for a while, waking with my head against a hard shoulder, soft lips though kissing my hair.

I had always been comfortable sleeping against this man, although he had been a boy, a teenager back then. Now as I sat up in my seat, apologising for the none existent drool that I may have left, he laughed, happy and carefree as he had always been in my presence and for the first time, Christian did not hide away from others seeing him like that.

"Who's meeting us there," Hannah asked as we ate the delicious meal the flight attendant brought round.

"Dembe will be at the school so I suspect, Sanyu or Akiki will be there along with officials who are guaranteed to make us wait" I groaned.

"What's wrong," Christian asked me.

"Nothing, just the usual hoops we have to jump through to feed the people these officials are supposed to represent. We took aid earlier this year to another area."

"That was terrifying, I thought you were going to be shot," Libby said.

"What, what happened," Christian asked her, shock filling his voice.

"We had a shipment for Darfur."

"I know about Darfur, it had to be airdropped," he told her.

"Yes eventually but only after Ana went toe to toe with an official there. This guy kept talking over her, wanting to speak to Professor Richards instead because she was a woman and when Richards spoke to him, the ignorant official had no interest in anything he had to say" Libby said, making exaggerated air quotes on the word woman. "So Ana being Ana, got in his face" she continued. "She told him to shift his arse so the grain and food we had on board didn't go to waste. She also told him that if one child died because they didn't get the vaccinations that we had brought with us, their death was on him. He pulled a gun on her because he didn't appreciate being spoken to by a woman only to be shouted at by someone higher up when they saw the video camera we had with us. We managed to convince them that we were recording our trip and sending live pictures back to the university and the conversation was being broadcast too. They told us we could leave or die, obviously, we chose to leave."

While they spoke I sat there biting my lip, an indication of nervousness I'd had since I was a child. Was I embarrassed with what Libby was saying, maybe a little as I was usually the quiet one but I was proud too that I had stood up to the bullies.

"Let's hope we don't have any of that this time," I said. "Otherwise, forget words, my finger will be ready to poke."

When we landed on the airstrip, it was like landing in a dust storm because of the dust the plane picked up. This place wasn't used that often and when it was, it was usually by us.

There were three cars and two large trucks waiting for us, two of those cars filled with friends, the other with those that could grant us safe passage or try and make us leave. From the crowd of locals that had gathered to help unload the supplies from the plane, I suspect should they deny us access to this land, they would have a riot on their hands as some of the food and clothes brought would be left with them to distribute to those in need who lived close to the airstrip.

"Passports and papers," the first official asked when he entered the plane.

I did worry for a second when he asked if Christian had thought to bring his passport as I hadn't seen it when I had shown the official back home mine. I needn't have worried as his quickly joined ours that were thoroughly checked along with the papers that stated why we were here.

"Who's in charge," another man asked.

"I am," I said, stepping to the front of our group before I was asked to follow him off the plane.

The hold was opened and only being able to hug Sanyu briefly as we passed, the official checked everything that was removed.

I was relieved when the official granted us permission to leave the airfield, telling us that our plane and papers would be inspected again when it was time for us to go home. I would worry about that when I need to but until then, I was looking forward to meeting up with those I call dear friends.

We travelled close to thirty miles from the airfield but on these bumpy roads, with the breeze, our vehicles were causing, picking up dust and debris and sending it our way, it felt like many more. Those in the trucks and the other car would be protected from this dust but as Christian and I travelled in what I can only describe as an ancient open-top jeep, I think once we arrived, his eyes were as sore as mine.

I quickly forgot about sore eyes as my focus went to the happy cheering children inside the grounds that were waiting for us just inside the gates. Outside were people from the village, all waiting desperately for the aid we had brought. Throughout our journey and now as we got out of the car, Christian had remained silent.

"It's a lot to take in," I said, quietly to him, receiving a nod before a loud voice parted the crowd and Dembe approached before pulling me into her arms.

"Beautiful, Beauty is back."

"Does that make me the beast then?" Christian asked, watching as the elderly woman hugged me.

"No beast here" she spoke to him. "Not while beauty is around."

"I agree," he said, smiling at me once I had introduced them before Dembe led us towards the buildings, leaving the staff to distribute the food, clothes and supplies, the medicines taken to their rightful place too from one of the trucks while the other drove through the gates and into the grounds. The school and orphanage would take their share because at the start here was where all the aid was originally meant to be, there would also be some leftover for the outer villages that would be distributed over the coming weeks.

"Ana, Ana, Ana" was called out by all the children here, all excited for our visit. Christian was caught up in the excitement too as he soon had many children hanging off of him.

"Just remember, they're innocent children, they can't hurt you," I said, not wanting him to panic at their touch.

It was me who was surprised when he picked up two small boys so they didn't get crushed in the crowd of children, chatting away happily to some of the older boys too as we made our way into the main school hall and out of the blazing sun.

Dinner that evening, some would think was a meagre affair but to these people, it was a feast. They had always welcomed me with open arms and that welcome was extending now to those who had come with me.

As the sun went down, I helped Dembe put some of the younger children to bed. I always bring some new books with me to read, adding them to the library I had started on my first visit here. As sleep claimed them with a little wish from me that for them tomorrow will be a better day, I looked out into the dusty yard and over to the patch of artificial grass that had seen better days, to the boys and men who were kicking a ball around.

I could hear the excitement in the boy's voices at being allowed to stay up later than normal. I could hear the laughter from the men too and especially from my best friend.

"That is a nice picture to have," Dembe said, placing her aged hand on my shoulder.

"It is," I replied, taking a photo. "It's nice to see them relaxed."

"Your young man especially."

"He's not my young man Dembe. He was a friend to me when I was a child, a teenager also and we've only just found each other and that friendship again."

"Is he that friend?" she asked, looking across the yard to the trees in the distance. "Or is he the other one."

"Yes, he's that friend" I whispered.

"I see" she spoke, squeezing my shoulder gently. "Are you happy with him being here."

"I am actually. For a second I was nervous when I saw him stood at the top of the stairs to the plane but it was more with which Christian was coming with me."

"There is more than one" she teased.

"You know what I'm talking about. Ever since they've come back into my life though and I mean properly, like as my friend again I have not seen that other side of him."

"Well you can never have too many friends Ana, especially one who looks at you like that," she said.

"Like what," I asked.

"As if he would follow you to the moon and back, as if he would walk over hot coals just to be by your side. My late husband used to look at me like that, still does from above."

"Dembe, you know the history between Christian and me and besides that night, he's never looked at me like that, as more than his best friend," I told her.

"Are you sure about that" she replied as we left the sleeping children behind.

While she continued to check everything was right within the orphanage I moved outside, taking a seat on the porch. One of the children, Fynn waved at me gaining the attention of all the others around.

"Ana, we're going to get some sleep," Hannah told me, with a sleepy Libby stood by her side.

"Don't take the best beds" I teased, making them laugh.

Our beds would be basic by some standards, to those here the best around, The only thing resembling a curtain in the room would be the mosquito nets that I brought on a previous visit and if my memory serves me correctly, we would all be in the same room.

"Do you have any idea where we're sleeping tonight?" Christian asked me as he approached with the boys before we said goodnight to them all as they were ushered inside.

"Yes, they have a room here for us," I said, taking his offered hand as I got to my feet. "It's basic and if you want hot water, you had better start boiling it in the pan."

"I don't mind a cold shower, do they have showers here," he asked as I laughed.

I pointed over to the bathtub in the corner of the yard and the bucket beside it.

"Only baths here and you will find that if you get in there you will be sharing someone's bathwater and more will be sharing it after you. Water is precious here, not to be wasted even though we do have access to a water supply, it has to be purified first so whatever water you do wash with, don't drink it."

"I have a lot to learn," he said, shaking his head as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we made our way inside and to the room where we will be spending the first of many nights.

Once here, I learned something too. Only four of us were originally supposed to come so there weren't enough beds.

"Do they have no more?" he asked.

"No, not unless one of them gives up their own and I would rather go without than they do that."

"I will sleep on the floor then," he said going over to his bag which was beside mine, both placed just inside the door.

"Christian, we have mosquito nets for a reason, you will be bit to buggery by the morning if you sleep on the floor."

"Bit to buggery, what's that" he laughed.

"Oh, something I learned from Edmund, a Brit I met last year when I was working."

"This Brit, what was he like, did he want to share a mosquito net with you" he teased although there was something behind his eyes as if should I say something had gone on between Edmund and me, he wouldn't like it one bit, so I told him the truth.

"Edmund was an upper-class snob, one who wanted to visit the poorest neediest areas just to make it look like he cared. He did nothing but complain about the lack of food, the lack of hot water, the lack of everything. Being bit to buggery was what happened to him and thankfully he didn't last for the full trip, being sent home by his tutors for embarrassing them and his university. I doubt he would ever be back to a place like this and I think if he did, it would be the animal troughs he would be sleeping in.

"Is it comfortable?" he asked.

"Is what comfortable Christian."

"The animal trough."

"I wouldn't know, I do know though that I wouldn't sleep in them, bathe in them either."

"I will take the floor then" he once again said.

I looked around the room, seeing what was available to make him comfortable. Besides a few spare blankets in the corner, none you would want to cover yourself with as it was so hot, there was nothing. Seeing what I was looking at though, he collected them, placing them by my own bed as he made his own on the floor.

I got ready for bed in the toilet before Christian did the same. I didn't like these sleeping arrangements especially as there was no net above him but besides asking Christian to sleep beside me, I didn't know what else to do.

"Christian" I whispered after what must have been ten minutes of tossing and turning by both of us, as I looked over the side of my bed to his uncomfortable nest on the floor.

"Yes."

"Do you remember camping out by Silver Lake."

"Yes, you, me and Luke all sleeping in that two-person tent, we were like sardines squashed in a tin."

"Yes, none of us slept as we were too busy laughing as you competed as to who could tell the shittiest joke as well as who could gas us out."

"I think you took that victory Ana, Luke looked like he was going to hurl" he laughed quietly as a giggle escaped my lips.

"I was just getting you both back" I replied. "Luke may not be here now and if he was he would have to sleep under the bed but if we sleep like sardines, we may fit on."

"Are you sure?" he asked me. "I'm ok here."

I had to push away how nervous I was at my suggestion and remember the fun times I'd had with my best friends. Knowing it was one of those best friends that I would be sleeping beside, I smiled, nodding my head.

As he climbed into the bed, the mosquito net around both of us now, it made me realise how close we were.

There was no room to move on this bed as we lay side by side, a quiet giggle leaving both of our lips as we reached for the other to make sure no one fell out. Deciding the best way to sleep was to cuddle closer, I lay my head on his chest, a favourite place of mine to sleep so long ago.

We were both tired, it being a long day and with the temperature now, even at this time of night, we were sweating before I even closed my eyes. I was comfy though so comfy that I soon started to drift off.

"Love you, Boo" he whispered, placing a kiss to the top of my head as his heart became a soothing lullaby.

"I love you too" was the words I replied as sleep took me and I meant each one of them too.

Their trip will continue next chapter as feelings are finally revealed.

I know some of you want them to go their separate ways, have their own trip before coming back together again, some from the messages I've received don't want them to get together at all.

Sorry, I could never do that to them and with them not seeing each other again for the month Ana would've been away it would've just prolonged their agony and mine.

I thought placing Christian in a place and situation so alien to him, so out of his control as he gets to see first hand how others have to live away from comfy beds, hot water and food whenever he wanted it was the best place for him to be.

Until next time, take care.

Caroline.