Dominic already knew Grandville very well. He went straight to the Crystal Ballroom, which was aglitter with lights, outside and in.
Without hesitation, he strode into the hall. His ears perked up at the din of revelry—the rollicking music, the rippling laughter, the hubbub of chattering voices. His eyes were delighted by the colorful clothes, the happy faces. His nose took notice of the various engaging smells—the smells of the many celebrators, the smell of the roses festooning the walls, the doors of eau de cologne, of tonics, lotions, perfumes and powders of all sorts that the guests had used lavishly, and the smells of delicious edibles prepared by the most skillful chefs of that region.
Dominic had not missed much, only the first hour—a time in which guests straggle in alone or in groups, are greeted, hang up their capes and other outer garments, powder their snouts in the powder room, are introduced to one another if they are not already acquainted, look each other over critically or admiringly, steal glances at themselves in any available mirror, and stand around shyly, making self-conscious remarks and wondering if the fun they anticipated will ever really begin.
All this preliminary discomfort and clumsiness was over when Dominic arrived. A lively gavotte was in progress and feetnlinded to the accents of the music as partners swung about in hushed and heated happiness. Barney Swain, standing near the door like a good host, rushed to Dominic and embraced him warmly. He quickly produced his bride and presented her, saying, "Here is the dear dog we owe our great happiness to! Without him, all this would not be."
Pearl Sweeney, soon to be Swain, also embraced Dominic warmly. Looking at her, he understood Barney's adoration. She was as lovely as a wild boar could be, and flowed with health and happiness. Her beauty was set off by a gown of pink flowered silk damask.
Pearl looked into Dominic's eyes and said, "You are an angel. We will never forget you. My first child will be named Dominic, Dominica if a girl."
"I'll feel honored," said Dominic, as always courtly with ladies. He was interrupted by a roll of drums announcing that the marriage was about to begin. Barney and Pearl excused themselves and went back to the hall.
Mwana, dressed in the robes of an African gentleman, came hurrying over to Dominic. "Thank goodness you're here," he said. "I felt so alone, not knowing anyone or how to behave in this society."
"Did you remember the magic word?"
"No," said Mwana sadly. "I'm giving my mind a rest. Maybe it will come to me of my own accord."
"Is is Asparagus?" asked Dominic.
"Nope," said Mwana.
The guests were grouping themselves on opposite sides of the hall, with an aisle between them. The band struck up a dignified wedding march, both solemn and cheerful. Barney and Pearl moves with measured steps toward the altar. His eyes flowed with dedication. She looked lost in reveries of love.
The ceremony was performed by the Reverend Swoon, also a boar. When Barney spoke the words, "With this ring I thee wed," a fervent hoarseness in his voice, he placed the wedding ring in Pearl's nose. They were pronounced husband and wife, and there were cheers and other sounds of exultation from the spectators. Everyone came forward with congratulations and then took to kissing the bride, while Barney stood by proudly, happy for those who had the privilege, this once, of embracing his lovely Pearl.
The kissing and congratulating finally over, the crowd yielded to hunger, encouraged by the heavenly aromas that drifted from the kitchen. The food was carried in on silver trays and arrayed on long buffer tables while the band played food music. Among the artfully prepared dishes were cranberries with walnut sauce, grass à la française, cheese soufflé with acorns, new potatoes with garlic sauce, bones marinated in Burgundy, oat fritters, pâté of sunflower seeds, stuffed watermelon, daisy salad, clover jelly, and orange doodle. There was also plenty to drink—dandelion wine, mushroom beer, all made from nuts and alfalfa, honeysuckle juice, sweet and sour water, bark brandy. The gaily dressed guests ate standing, moving among the tables, bowing, joking, congratulating, exchangi pleasantries. Mrs. Matilda Fox, spearing a nut cutlet, spotted Dominic in the crowd and waddled swiftly to him with her five goslings. The grateful, fond goose hugged and kissed himself. He hugged and kissed her and then kissed the five children, in alphabetical order so as not to offend any of them. They gabbled with joy and all tried to get his attention at once. Mwana came over with a plate of bananas and deviled asparagus and was introduced to the Foxes. The goslings stared because they had never seen a live elephant before. They had only seen pictures and were puzzles because they had been told that elephants are enormous.
"Is Banana the word?" Dominic whispered to Mwana, looking at his plate.
"I've tried all the fruits and vegetables," he answered. "It's none of those."
Dominic noticed that Elijah Hogg, the jackass, had turned up and was being introduced all around.
Mrs. Fox began telling Dominic about some of the things she had bought with the treasure he'd given her—things for herself and for the children—a boat for their pond, a diving board, a large sun umbrella, croquet mallets, etc. Dominic listened attentively, but he was also listening attentively to everything else that went on, all eyes, all ears, all nose, alert to the whole hustle and bustle, the stir and movement of the crowd.
Suddenly the lights were dimmed and flaming desserts, pumpkin jubilee, were brought in by a procession of waiters. A cheer burst from the crowd as fireworks shot from all plates simultaneously. Then the lights were turned up again. The children began chasing one another under and around the tables. The band played a tarantella. Many danced, wheeling with happy abandon. Skirts swirled, feet taller and skittered on the polished floor.
Dominic flowed with pleasure. He was brought over to meet relatives of the bride and groom—Herman Swann, Maribelle Swen, Mervyn Swyn, Caroline Swahan and her children. Dominic danced the remainder of the tarantella with Matilda Fox. He danced so well she applauded him with enthusiastic wings. He circled and bowed, inspired by her feminine compliments.
Elijah Hogg danced with the bride's cousin, Maribelle. His hoods clattered on the glistening boards. A toast to Mr. and Mrs. Swain was proposed. There was another roll of drums, a chattering of tambourines, a clash of cymbals. Drinks were passed around. "To the eternal happiness of the Swains!" someone shouted, raising a glass of mango brandy. There were many quick cries of "Ditto!", the clinking of many glasses, the downing of many drinks.
"Is the word Loganberry?" Dominic asked Mwana.
"I tried all the fruits and vegetables," he answered.
Then a group of madcap acrobats came tumbling and somersaulting in, and room was made for them in the center of the floor. Two powerful pigs stood shoulder to shoulder. Two strong dogs raced up the backs of the powerful pigs and stood ready in their heads. A monkey climbed to the top of this living structure while balancing a spinning plate in the tip of a staff.
Dominic, who was getting more and more excited by this feat, grabbed a handy window pole and vaulted himself onto the monkey's back. From there he shinnied up the staff, tossed the plate aside, and stood balanced in one foot of the tip. There was great applause, an ovation; the acrobats leaped to the ground, and Dominic raced around the room with them, doing cartwheels and flips.
At this point Lemuel Wallaby, the turtle, tottered in, asking if the marriage ceremony had yet taken place. He was disappointed to learn that that event was long over, and started toward the bride and groom, who were now receiving guests bearing presents. Dominic apologized for forgetting to bring anything, but Barney and Pearl reminded him that he had already given them more than enough.
The band struck up a dance again, this time a waltz. Dominic was moved to play and sat in with his piccolo. He played so dazzlingly that the other musicians miter their instruments to let his enchanting sounds prevail.
At this point three members of the Doomsday Gang —two wildcats and a ferret—came into the ballroom wearing fancy clothes and acting as though they had been invited. They were heading toward the heap of gifts when they were discovered by Matilda Dox, who cried out in indignation. The music stopped, and so did the dancing. Dominic leaped from the bandstand, ran for the cloakroom, and reappeared with his spear, whereupon the imposters ambled rather quickly to the door and made a sudden exit. Dominic gave short chase.
He was roundly cheered on his return. He then played a piccolo solo with brilliant embellishments. By now Lemuel Wallaby has reached the newlyweds to offer them his congratulations and his regrets at being late. Champagne was served. A skunk raised his glass and shouted, "To the Swains and their progeny. Long may they prosper!" Everyone drank.
More champagne was served. A rabbit shouted, "I now proclaim the eternal brotherhood of the entire animal kingdom!" Everyone drank again.
Dominic was feeling an immense well-being and overwhelming goodwill toward everything that lived. "Here's to unending love!" he shouted. Everyone drank once more.
Mwana turned up at his side and Dominic asked: "Is the word Whiskey?"
"It's not an alcoholic beverage," said Mwana. "I've tried them all. I've tried fruits, vegetables, beverages, flowers, articles of furniture, names of minerals, and I don't have it."
Barney Swain was now up on the bandstand, which had been furnished with a red velvet curtain so it could serve as a stage. "I have the great pleasure to announce," he said in a loud voice, "that the Pumpkin Hollow Players, as fine a company of actors as ever there was, are putting on for our entertainment a play which has been prepared especially for this occasion. The name of the play is The Exploits of Dominic. If you'll arrange yourselves so you all have a clear view of the stage, the curtain will go up and the play will begin."
Everyone craned to look at Dominic. He was embarrassed, an unusual condition for him. "Exploits?" he thought. "I haven't had any exploits. Nothing worth making a play about."
The curtain went up and revealed "Dominic" walking along a road with his spear over his shoulder. There was no dog among the Pumpkin Hollow Players, so the part of Dominic was being played by a cat, who gave a poor imitation of his movements, slinking where Dominic strode. This annoyed Dominic. The cat wore a mask with a large black snout and pendant ears.
A hole had been prepared in the stage, into which the cat—that is, "Dominic"—fell, and a scene followed in which he was mocked and tormented by the Doomsday Gang. But instead of escaping the way Dominic actually had, the play-Dominic fought his way out of the hole, killed two of the villains with his spear, spared the life of another, who promised to reform, and routed the rest. When he was attacked for digging up Bartholemew Badger's treasure, the play showed him defeating the entire gang single-handed.
"That isn't the way it was at all," said Dominic to Mwana, who was standing at his side. "By the way, the word isn't Cutlets, is it?"
"No. Sorry," Mwana said. "Thank you for trying."
Another "exploit" of Dominic's was being shown in the stage. The villains were hanging up Matilda Fox, played by a rabbit, and Dominic charged in, mounted on Elijah Hogg, dispersing the villains and killing three of them.
"That's not the way it was at all," murmured Dominic as the curtain went down and the guests turned and applauded him rather than the play.
Then suddenly, shockingly, flames were swarming up the curtain. The actors came rushing off the open sides of the stage squawking and howling, and guests were grabbing up their children and making for the exits.
"Water!" someon shouted. "Get water!" Fires we're starting up all over the hall. Flame tore through some of the windows, some of the doors. The room echoed with panic-stricken screams. The exits were all aflame now, and black smoke was rolling through the room, engulfing everything. There were cried for "Air!", hysterical shoving and pushing.
Dominic raced around sizing up the situation, trying excitedly to calm the others. Some of the animals beat at the flames with their coats. There were more cries of "Water!", more cries of "Air!"
The only available water was in the kitchen, but the kitchen was on fire too. Barney Swain tried to fight his way in there, but only got the bristles on his face badly singed. He hurried back to protect his bride. Someone tried spilling champagne on the flames, but it did no good. Brandy was worse—it made the fire burn more fiercely.
Mothers embraced their children. Some were crying. Matilda Fox's goslings huddled under her wings, pitifully honking. Lemuel Wallaby, moving faster than usual, began working his way toward the nearest door, undeterred by animals stepping on his shell.
Dominic grabbed Mwana and held him tight. "You must remember the magic word!"
"I can't!" said Mwana.
"You can!" said Dominic. "Try. Don't get excited. Relax and, presto, you'll have it."
"P R E S T O !" screamed Mwana. "That's it! That's the word! Presto," he said. "Presto, let the fire cease! Presto!"
All at once there was no fire. There were no flames, no smoke, no sputtering sparks, no hazing wood. Everyone stood transfixed, dumbfounded. Had this really happened? Had they really witnessed such a marvel? Yes, indeed. They had. A chorus of sighs filled the hall.
"Put things back as they were," Dominic said to Mwana.
"Presto," said Mwana. "Let it be as it was before the fire. Presto." And everything was exactly as it had been before the fire. Not exactly, because the crowd was no longer thinking about the play and applauding Dominic.
Mwana, by now having had enough of the pleasures and the pains of this new country, said goodbye to Dominic, left regards for the others, wished himself back home to Africa, and vanished.
Dominic mounted the salt age and rapped the haft off his spear on the boards for attentions "Our good friend Mwana Bhomba remembered a magic word in the nick of time," he said, "and that's how our lives have been saved."
Everyone began bubbling with conversation.
Dominic rapped for attention again. "Now is the time to deal properly with the Doomsday Gang, who, as we all well know, set that terrible fire. We surely equal them in number. Let's go after them and teach them a lesson! To arms! Follow me, my nose will lead the way!"
