Severus closed his eyes tightly. His class of fifth years were being especially incompetent, something he blamed entirely on the upcoming Yule Ball.
His temper recently had been especially volatile, something he told himself was primarily because of the impending holidays. Severus had never really enjoyed Christmas, opting to stay at Hogwarts instead of going home to his family. It was something that had extended into adulthood and gotten worse as he had gotten older. A mild distaste for the entire season had turned into an acute dislike.
But if Severus were to truly be honest with himself, he would admit that he was a bit more annoyed that he no longer seemed to have Lucia's full attention.
He had gotten used to her spending a fair share of her evenings with him, even if it was primarily spent in silence, but lately she had been leaving in the evening and for entire days on the weekend to spend time with Myron Wagtail, the lead singer of The Weird Sisters. Severus remembered teaching him in his early days at Hogwarts. He was, if anything, a mildly accomplished wizard in the field of charms and admittedly very popular due to his musical ability and good looks. Severus remembered many of the students fawning over him, something that Severus only observed with mild annoyance at the time. It seemed Lucia was no different.
In the little time that Severus had spent with her over the last month, Lucia kept bringing up old memories of Myron as well as what they were currently up to. Everything from splinching themselves while drinking and ending up in the hospital together to co writing songs, their closeness and history was beginning to feel like an imminent threat to Severus, one he was taking out on the students."
"Phillips, one would think you've already consumed your befuddlement draught by the absolute idiocy in which you are ripping apart the sneezewort!" Severus snapped, whipping around to face the class.
"I-I'm sorry professor. My mistake." The student muttered before scurrying to get more from the ingredient supplies.
Severus glanced up at the clock, realizing the ball was just a few hours a way and he was expected to help set up. "Class dismissed. If you did not complete the potion today, then I can't say I have high hopes for your O.W.L. examinations."
"But sir, class isn't supposed to be over until 4:30." One of the Ravenclaws said.
The rest of the class looked at her as if she had just dropped a wedding cake. A few even hissed at her to shut up.
"As I'm sure you can imagine, the Yule Ball doesn't set itself up for you insipid students." Severus drawled.
The students rushed out, excited to primp and dress up for the evening. Severus couldn't say he shared the same excitement.
The Great Hall was slowly being prepared for the evening all week, with various pieces of decor being staged then concealed in order for them to be easily set up day of. When Severus arrived, much of it had already been arranged.
Severus glanced around for a moment, noting the silver and blue doorway to the hall was replaced with an archway made of intertwined metal that shifted and twisted around itself. Instead of the typical floating candles, there were glowing bubbles of silver that emitted a radiant light as they danced around the room. A stage had been set up where the staff table typically was and in front of it was a dancefloor of solid marble flooring. There were chairs and tables set up in the back of the room with blue streamers and enchanted ribbons tied in bows that glowed in dim lighting. Most notably there were beautiful flower arrangements scattered about, some as large as Lucia herself.
"Oh Severus, could you help Lucia in the courtyard? I believe she is erecting the gazebo." McGonagall said as he entered. She was levitating another large arrangement next to the stage.
"Of course." Severus replied, heading outside with only a small amount of displeasure.
Lucia was standing in the center of the courtyard with her wand raised, levitating part of the dome of a large wooden gazebo that had already been put together. Severus noted her hair was in curlers and wrapped in a scarf and it looked as if she was wearing a large swathe of fabric around her neck.
She glanced at him as he approached and smiled. It must have been obvious that he was staring at her neck because she said "To keep my voice warm. I'd hate to have it crack onstage."
"Ah yes, the performance you have been working so diligently on. How many songs will you grace us with?" He said, with perhaps a bit too much edge to his voice.
Lucia looked at him oddly. "Just one, but we've been working on other things." She said offhandedly. "Could you help me raise the rest of this?" She gestured to the pieces of the structure around them.
They made quick work of the rest of the gazebo, until the last step was to decorate it. Lucia enchanted it to play some gentle classical piano music, putting a few benches to the side and even sneaking a piece of mistletoe to hang in the middle of the gazebo while Severus wasn't looking.
She had noticed Severus had been a bit more sour than usual, but hadn't really started taking it personally until recently. It had become abundantly clear that he was jealous of how much time she was spending with Myron. Every time she mentioned him, Severus found some inexplicable reason to insult the man. Whether it be his appearance, the unoriginality of his lyrics, or his rumored behaviors, Severus had made it clear he did not like Myron. It had gotten to the point where Lucia had considered telling him that he is gay, just so he would stop acting like a bratty child.
Instead she had become increasingly obtuse about their time together, even though she had exciting news to share. Myron had connected her with his recording label and she was beginning to work on her second studio album, primarily thanks to his assistance. She found co-writing to always be more enjoyable than writing alone and missed her friend Emily very much for that reason. She was always much better at the melody and production end of songwriting than Lucia was. Myron had filled that role rather seamlessly, giving an endless stream of ideas to her half baked melodies and thrown together lyrics. It was a thrilling development, but one she knew Severus would take poorly at best. She wasn't sure how he would take knowing she wasn't planning on teaching at Hogwarts after the next year.
Her plan was to get a job at a shop somewhere part time and work on her albums with Myron. He knew she didn't want to tour again, having found it to be exhausting and not enjoyable, so it would be more of just an album for an album's sake, but that's how she had always felt about music. As soon as it became how she made money, it was less enjoyable. Suddenly she had to navigate complex social circles, foster connections, network and advertise and then maybe she'd make money. With Myron as her producer and co-writer, she'd be able to produce an album that she wanted to make without having to tour it and ideally make some money back on it.
She knew Severus would be sad to see her leave Hogwarts, primarily because they had become so close, but she had to do what was best for her and it had become abundantly clear that she was not cut out for teaching.
Minerva had already called her into her office a handful of times to discuss how to appropriately discipline students, what type of advice to give them, and, most annoyingly, to promote abstinence amongst sexually active students. Lucia had never liked following rules that she didn't understand or agree with as a teen and certainly liked them even less as an adult. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Lucia was not a good fit for the strict rules McGonagall enforced.
"Are you going to change for the ball?" Lucia asked, glancing at his robes.
"I can't imagine why I would." Severus said, pulling down the sleeve of his dress shirt.
"Well aren't you lucky. Not all of us are so good looking that we can wear what we wear every day to a ball." Lucia teased.
"I think it's more that any improvement I may make would be marginal at best." Severus said.
"I hardly think that is true. Although I do have a hard time imagining you in anything besides your robes. Tell me Severus, do you wear them to sleep?"
Severus snorted at the idea. It was true that he had worn the same robes for basically every school day, event, summer evening and holiday party since he was in his early twenties. He had never seen the need for another kind, finding that he looked formal enough and casual enough for most environments.
"Either way, I best be getting ready. Obviously my hair isn't even remotely close to finished." Lucia gestured to her head.
"I assume Myron will be escorting you this evening?" Severus commented, partially to confirm his suspicions and partially to prepare himself in case they came in together.
Lucia let out a bark of laughter. "Hardly. I was planning on arriving on my own, though if you'd like to be my arm candy for the evening, merlin knows I wouldn't complain."
Severus was surprised by the offer and then remembered he had agreed to arrive with Minerva as the Deputy Headmaster. "Unfortunately I have other duties to attend to, but I would be happy to be your primary dance partner."
"Then I'm afraid you won't spend much time on the dance floor."
"What if I promise to share a flask with you."
Lucia smiled brightly before a look of disappointment crossed her face. "I try not to drink before performing anymore. In fact I'm trying to drink less."
Severus was surprised by the admission. He had considered more than once that Lucia did drink a bit more than the average person, but he didn't think it was a problem. "Is there anything you need help with?" He asked.
"No, it's not like that. I just- I drink when things get hard and I don't think that's a healthy way to deal with things." Lucia said, not meeting his eyes. "I'm trying to face things head on. Besides, I'd like to know that any choice was made in good consciousness."
"I suppose that makes sense." Severus said mildly.
"I can't help but blame myself for no forward movement on figuring out who Isabella is and maybe if I didn't drink while studying up on it, perhaps I would have made more progress."
"That isn't your fault. Potter's advice on possession was hardly helpful at all." Severus said.
His meeting with The Order had been rather anticlimactic, with his question to Potter receiving more than a few odd looks. Harry had been more than happy to help, explaining that his love for his friends and family had overwhelmed Voldemort's possession. Severus felt the bile rise in his throat at the sickly sweet statement.
"It's not just that. I just- I don't want you to think of me as your weird colleague that drinks wine."
"I don't think of you that way." Severus said.
"But you do! I mean you've used wine as an incentive twice and for good reason. It works. It's fine. I just don't want to be that person anymore."
Severus was sad for a moment, wondering if she'd still want to grade papers with him if she wasn't looking for a drinking companion.
As if reading his mind she said "But don't worry, I still hate grading alone so perhaps you can turn me on to whatever tea you've been brewing recently that smells like dirt and grass."
"It's chamomile."
"Smells like grass."
"It does wonders for the nerves."
"I can't imagine something that smells like grass being good for the nerves."
Severus snorted in response to her stubbornness. "Don't you have a dress to squeeze into or makeup to apply?" He questioned.
"You don't even know the half of it." Lucia huffed in response.
They parted silently, returning to their respective chambers. Severus simply required a shower and perhaps a bit of Sleakeazy's, though he was loathe to admit it.
Lucia, on the other hand, was just beginning the long and arduous process of getting ready. Despite knowing she wanted to pull her hair back, Lucia had chosen to put her hair in curlers that morning, attending all her classes looking like someone's disoriented grandmother. She figured with curlers and a generous helping of smoothing products, she may have manageable hair for a sleek bun. If that failed, then a messy bun would have to do.
After what felt like a battle royale involving her hair brush, Lucia had finally managed to artfully craft her hair into a curly bun with pieces framing her face. Never mind that she would be finding bobby pins for weeks.
She painted her nails black, shaping them into points as she had seen Narcissa's. Her makeup was kept relatively simple with a cat eye and red lipstick.
Lucia looked at the dress hanging in front of her. She had worn it on her wedding day and a handful of events after. The cherry red of it was very appropriate for the holidays and always accented her skin and eyes beautifully. It was originally a halter neckline, but for this evening she transformed it into a strapless dress with a scalloped neckline that followed the pattern of the lace. The waist was tucked and accented by a satin cutout and red belt. The skirt was tight on her hips, only flaring out slightly at her feet. A long slit went down the center, allowing her thin red strappy stilettos to peak through. Lucia knew the shoes would probably not last the whole evening, but they at least would look good while they lasted.
Lucia wasn't anticipating being late for the ball, in fact she thought she would be early and see all the students enter the great hall. All her classes had been abuzz with excitement and many of her students were excited to dress up and dance with each other, despite not being excited about the ballroom element that their heads of house had taught them.
Various students were scurrying toward the great hall past her as she took her time, mostly because her heels would not allow her to walk any faster than a slow trot.
A handful of her students, especially in her NEWT level classes, paused to greet her and show off their beautiful ensembles. Lucia had offered extra credit to anyone who could demonstrate transfiguration on their dresses or robes and many of her students had chosen to take her up on her offer. But perhaps the most exemplary transfiguration was Luna, who had made a dress that resembled an actual sunflower, seeds and everything.
The entrance to the great hall had a crowd of students around it, most of them waiting for a date to arrive or avoiding going into the hall altogether. If Lucia was a student, she would have joined them, finding the party outside of the party was usually more fun than the actual party. But as a teacher she was expected to not only attend but observe and make sure her students were on good behavior.
She squeezed past some students, waving hello as she passed and headed toward the tables near the front where the other teachers were sitting. She noted that all but Severus and McGonagal had arrived.
Lucia sat next to Aurora, noting her dress of purple and black that was covered in stars that shifted around as she moved with the occasional shooting star flowing across the skirt.
"That's beautiful, did you charm it yourself?" Lucia asked.
"Thank you! No, Flitwick had the idea. Isn't it lovely?" Aurora said, smoothing her hands over her skirt.
"Do you think he could charm my shoes to be more comfortable?"
Aurora leaned back and peaked at her shoes under the table. "I'm not sure Flitwick could even make those tolerable."
Lucia laughed. "The backup plan is to transfigure them into sneakers. Do you think anyone will notice?"
"Do you care?"
Lucia pretended to think for a moment."You know, I absolutely do not."
Suddenly there was the sound of orchestral music from near the entrance of the great hall. Lucia and Aurora glanced toward the archway to see Minerva and Severus walk into the large ballroom. People were unsure if they were supposed to applaud, so instead many students nodded in greeting.
Lucia made eye contact with Severus, smiling at him as he headed toward their table. He sat down across from her, wishing there was a spot next to her but happy to be able to see her clearly across from him.
He immediately noticed her lips, the same shade of red as her dress, in stark contrast with her light olive skin. She looked beautiful, if a bit wild, but he always thought that about her.
Minerva gave a short speech, reminding the students to be on good behavior and that the punchbowl was not only being observed but it was specifically charmed to prevent students from spiking it. A few of the older students gave conspiratory glances, which Severus noticed, and Lucia glanced boredly at the bowl. She had been assigned punchbowl duty for a majority of the evening.
The feast began with very little fuss. The food seemingly appeared on each circular table and all the students and faculty began eating. Lucia ignored the turkey entirely, opting to focus almost her entire attention on the stuffing and brussel sprouts.
Aurora eyed her plate with somewhat confusion and Lucia shrugged. "Not a lot of turkey in italian food. Never got a taste for it."
"Instead you got a taste for brussel sprouts?" Aurora commented.
"You can roast them in wine." Lucia said offhandedly.
Aurora rolled her eyes, not at all surprised by the answer.
The feast ended and Minerva rose again to begin the dancing portion of the evening. Severus stood beside her and as a fast waltz began, he took her hand and led her to the floor, demonstrating excellent form.
Lucia rolled her eyes as Aurora rose as well, deciding to dance with Flitwick despite the height difference.
Gawain Robbards approached Lucia, ready to ask her to dance.
"Don't even bother, my stilettos are sharp and my footwork is shabby." Lucia said, her eyes still on Severus.
"Of course." He said before asking Poppy to join him.
Lucia watched in silence as Severus glided across the dancefloor, resembling a bat more than usual with his robes flowing around him. She felt a sudden desire to be dancing with him, but knew it would be better if she stayed off the dance floor. Even without the heels she was a liability, with them she was a disaster.
Severus glanced at her a few times during the song, noticing her gazing at him throughout. Many students were still at their tables, waiting for The Weird Sisters to come out before they got on the dance floor.
He knew Lucia was unlikely to join in either the traditional partner dance or the degenerate gyration that he was sure would occur in a matter of minutes. For a moment he imagined her out there, her hips swaying to the music and her skirt riding up. He knew she wouldn't, especially with a crowd of people around, but the image stuck in his head.
Lucia rose, taking her position by the punchbowl, her arms crossed and her wand in her hand. She was prepared to fend off any number of students trying to make the night more interesting, though a part of her sincerely didn't care whether a tiny spell got through her defenses.
The song ended and Severus approached Lucia, noting her stance emphasized the curve of her hips in her red dress.
"I see that you did not abandon your post to dance." He said.
"You know me, a consummate professional. I would never leave my duties. Especially something as important as… whatever the fuck I'm doing right now." Lucia waved her hand dismissively.
"Preventing underage students from getting inebriated." Severus cracked a small smile.
"I thought I was supposed to just prevent anyone from drinking anything. I was under the impression that this punchbowl was merely decorative."
"Would you like some company?"
Lucia shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows. "Only if you promise to be on your best behavior. That means no sour looks at seventh years and no snide comments."
"That is basically a vow of silence."
"You're right. You wouldn't be my Severus if you didn't say something mean."
"I'm hardly your Severus." He said jokingly
Lucia's face dropped, knowing he meant it humorously but still feeling the sting of his words. "No I suppose not."
Severus realized what he said had hurt her in some capacity but wasn't able to determine what he could say to help the situation. Thankfully he didn't have to as The Weird Sisters took the stage and the crowd began yelling in excitement. Even Lucia smiled brightly as she saw Myron make his way to the mic. Everyone in the room seemed thrilled for the band to arrive, except for Severus.
He felt a hot sick twist in his gut as he watched Lucia begin singing along to the lyrics, even occasionally allowing her hips to sway in the manner he had fantasized about. It would have been alluring if it weren't to the inspid lyrics created by the most obnoxious man he had ever encountered.
Severus for a moment began to disdain Lucia, wondering how a woman he had regarded as both smart and discerning could enjoy such idiotic music. How could someone go from Debussy to garbage? She must have been like all other women, charmed by his good looks and shaggy hair.
Lucia leaned into him. "I love his chord progressions. He borrows minors a lot which I find very refreshing compared to the typical progressions you hear in rock and pop music. And thank god it isn't in the key of E."
Severus thought for a moment that she had read his mind, proving her interest was more than pedestrian. He merely hmphed in response.
"I wasn't really a fan before my manager got me a spot as their opener, but after hearing them play a lot I learned to appreciate them. I tend to like music that was made when I was at school rather than new stuff but oh well." Lucia said. "Oh god I sound ancient. Tell me Severus, is this what it feels like to get old."
"Weren't you telling me I wasn't old not too long ago?" He asked.
"Yes but that was before I started feeling like I don't understand young people anymore. Now you have to try and make me feel better."
"I know of at least 3 seventh year boys who have highly inappropriate crushes on you."
Lucia looked at him with interest. "Really, have you given them detention for it?"
"For other reasons."
"Sure you did." Lucia said. "But thank you. I can't say I like knowing that teenage boys find me attractive but it doesn't make me feel like less of an artifact."
"Quite."
"Besides, I'm sure you have had your fair share of students with crushes." Lucia said.
Severus snorted. "Absolutely not."
"Really? I would have been super into you."
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, brooding angry man in the dungeon. I would want to come down there and fix you but also be spanked by you. You know, typical teen fantasies." She winked at him.
Severus flushed and pulled at his collar, imagining her bent over his knee.
"Of course that was just a juvenile fantasy. As I've gotten older they've gotten much more sophisticated."
His throat began to feel dry and his pulse began racing. The image of spanking her was already too much for him. He wasn't sure if he could handle what her more experienced adult mind could concoct.
The band paused after a set and announced that they were going to take a break. Lucia looked over at Severus. "That's my cue. Wish me luck?" She asked.
"I hardly think you need it." He replied.
Lucia shrugged. "Doesn't mean I don't want it."
Lucia walked away, presumably to meet the band backstage. The jealousy in Severus' stomach began bubbling up again, coming out in small outbursts when he saw someone so much as lift a wand near the punchbowl.
Minerva approached him, noting his aggressive stance. "I noticed you haven't danced with Lucia tonight."
"She doesn't dance." He replied tersely.
"I'm sure she would for you." Minerva eyed him knowingly.
"You have taken up Albus' role as meddling headmaster a bit too well." Severus commented.
"It just seems as if the two of you get along very well."
"I get along well with quite a few people."
Minerva looked at him with sharp criticism. "I think quite a few of those people would beg to differ. Really Severus, it's as if you prefer to be unlikable."
Severus huffed in response.
"But it seems Lucia likes you anyway. You should be so lucky."
Severus thought for a moment about the implications of what she was saying. "We have always been professional."
"I hardly think anything Lucia does is particularly professional, but I understand what you are saying." Minerva said.
Severus was about to speak when Minerva interrupted.
"But if something were ever to happen, perhaps after this dream business has been taken care of, I would only expect discretion amidst students." Minerva said. "Besides, with Lucia not returning next year, I hardly think it will be an issue."
Severus looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Minerva was taken aback for a moment. "I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you were aware. Yes, Lucia let me know earlier this week that she intended to resign and pursue other opportunities."
"What opportunities."
"I believe she mentioned something about Myron and music. I'm not entirely sure."
Severus felt his stomach drop and the twinge that he had been feeling all night turned into a painful twist. Lucia was moving on, leaving Hogwarts and subsequentially him for Myron and presumably better opportunities.
"Of course, I am sure she will continue to keep in touch." Minerva said, a look of concern on her face.
Before Severus could reply a large roar erupted through the crowd as Myron and Lucia came back on stage. He was holding an acoustic guitar and she was wringing her hands nervously and smiling. She caught Severus' eyes for a moment and waved. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. Lucia felt concerned and almost got off stage to ask him what was wrong, but stayed instead.
"Hogwarts! I am sure she needs no introduction, but this is my longtime friend and your professor, Lucia Sometimes!" Myron said into the microphone to a cheering crowd.
Lucia smiled and waved nervously.
"Besides being an excellent witch, she is a talented and beautiful singer and I'm excited to do a duet with her. Lucia, would you like to count off?"
"Sure. 1, 2, 3, 4."
Myron began strumming and Lucia approached the shared microphone. They stood facing each other and Lucia watched him as he played before she began singing.
"Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
Don't patronize
Don't patronize me."
The two began singing together in harmony. Their eye contact became increasingly more intense as they tried to synchronize their singing.
"Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't
No you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't."
Severus felt his blood beginning to boil. It was clear to him that they were involved, far more than she let on in conversations.
"I'll close my eyes
And then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me
Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Give me till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't
No you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't."
The song ended with the two of them solemnly smiling at the audience and then hugging each other. Severus had to admit it was beautiful, but it felt like when Lily had begun dating James in seventh year. The ultimate betrayal. With a flourish of robes, Severus turned around and rushed out of the Great Hall.
Lucia saw the black of his robes exiting and immediately ran off the stage, concerned for her friend but also confused. Her heels were digging into her ankles and she was acutely aware of how tight her skirt was as she hiked it up to give her legs more mobility to walk. As she made it into the entrance hall she heard his footsteps going outside to the courtyard and she rushed after him, finally seeing him just as he was passing by the gazebo.
"What's wrong, Severus?" Lucia called, concern and confusion clear in her voice.
Severus whipped around, moving toward her at a brisk walk. "Nothing is wrong Ms. Sometimes, I am simply done listening to the insipid whining of a man-child and his love-lorn fan."
Lucia scoffed, finally realizing what he was feeling. "You're jealous. You're fucking jealous."
"I have no reason to be jealous of that attention starved fool."
"You know this is maybe the least attractive thing you could do, right?"
"Not as unattractive as whoring yourself out for a record deal."
Lucia could have slapped him. "Don't you fucking dare call me a whore or accuse me of that. What I have accomplished I have earned. Just because you have such a sad fucking life that you're unwilling to change or move past doesn't mean I can't make something of mine."
"As if your life is so much better. Drinking away and wasting your talents on worthless teenagers who only pay attention to you because you're a beautiful American."
"You don't get to be angry at me. You don't fucking get to ok? Even if we were something, you still wouldn't get to." Lucia was nearly yelling in his face now, so annoyed that he would even think that of her. "You barely have touched me. We haven't even kissed."
Severus grabbed her by her arms, pulling her in and smashing his lips against hers. She was shaking in his arms, from the cold or anger he couldn't tell. The kiss was intense, both parties desperate for more contact until Lucia broke away violently.
"Fuck you. Fuck you!" She was yelling now. "You don't get to call me an alcoholic whore and then do that." Her voice cracked then and tears started streaming down her face.
Severus was silently watching her as she stumbled into the gazebo, wiping tears away and smearing her makeup. He slowly followed her inside, sitting on a bench across from her wishing for her to meet his eyes. They sat in silence for a long time as Lucia's sobs began to subside.
"He's gay you know." She finally said. "That's the most idiotic part of this whole situation. He's fucking gay." She laughed through her tears.
"What?" Severus finally said, the implications of what she said not yet sinking in.
"Yeah he just respects me as an artist. He wants to help me get an album off the ground in the next year. I was going to tell you, but I thought it would be a bummer so I wanted to wait until after the holidays."
She continued. "I really wanted to stay friends though and I thought maybe I could kick you in the ass to start your own potions shop. Get out of this fucking place." Lucia gestured around them.
"And now?" He asked, afraid of the answer.
"I can't- I can't handle people who are jealous. It doesn't make sense to me. You had no reason to distrust me and no reason to even be jealous in the first place. I don't think this is good for us or you."
"But I didn't know-" Lucia cut him off.
"It doesn't matter! I shouldn't have had to tell you. I feel terrible. That was his secret to tell, not mine." Lucia looked down at her hands, before making eye contact with Severus. "No one gets to talk to me like that, though. I'm not an object. I don't belong to anyone."
"I never thought you did."
"But you want me to belong. I'm not that kind of witch. I don't stay home at night. I won't always tell you where I'm going. I will flirt with anyone because that's who I am. If you can't handle that without calling me a whore and freaking out, this is over before it even starts."
Severus was quiet for a moment, looking at Lucia across from him. Her hair had started to come undone from her updo and was wild around her. Her eye makeup was smudged around her eyes and her lipstick was smeared. Her skirt was hiked up with the slit nearly up to her hip. But mostly he saw her face. She looked disappointed and the fire in her eyes revealed that she was struggling to cool down her anger and frustration.
"I've never- I haven't wanted anyone since Lily." Severus admitted a bit weakly.
Lucia's face softened. "It's wonderful that you were faithful to her for so long. It's such a wonderful trait. But the love of a jealous teenage boy is not the kind of love I'm willing to accept. I will be faithful and I will be honest but I will not limit my life because it makes someone else uncomfortable."
Severus looked at her again, noting that the fire in her eyes he had only just noticed a moment ago had always been there, it just had never burned so bright. "I would like to try."
Lucia looked at him as if appraising him for a moment. "I would like that too." She said, standing up and walking toward the center of the gazebo. "But I don't think you can." Lucia walked away, leaving Severus gazing at the spot she had been standing, just below the mistletoe.
