Chapter 16: Friday Night

"You'll be good for daddy, right?" Carol asked, smoothing Sophia's hair back as they stood on Rick's front porch.

"I will, Mommy," Sophia promised. She looked up at Carol and smiled. Carol's short, dark locks were styled with gel, and she'd put on just the tiniest splash of makeup. She was wearing a dark blue top and her form-fitting dark jeans were tucked into a pair of black boots. "You look really pretty, Mommy."

"Well, thank you sweetheart," Carol grinned.

"Can I wear makeup?"

"Not until you're fifteen," Carol pointed out.

"Make that thirty." Carol looked up to see Rick standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest.

"Hi, Daddy!" Sophia chirped.

"Hi, baby," he laughed, opening the screen door and kneeling down to hug his daughter.

"Is Carl here?"

"No, Carl's not coming until tomorrow. It's just you and me tonight, kiddo. Is that ok?"

"Uh-huh," Sophia nodded. She turned and waved to Carol.

"Bye, Mommy."

"Bye, sweetie. I love you." She leaned down and gave her little girl a big hug. "I'll see you after school Monday, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy." Carol kissed her little girl on the cheek before Sophia grabbed her weekend bag and hurried into the house. Carol and Rick both stood facing each other then, and Rick gave Carol a once over.

"What?" Carol asked, one hand resting on her hip.

"Nothing. You look incredible. I mean, you always look incredible, but there's something…did you put eyeliner on?" Rick squinted into the dim light on the front porch, and Carol rolled her eyes. "Oh. Oh, you've got a date."

"I do not," Carol sighed. "It's not a date. It's drinks and dinner and a movie with a friend."

"So, a date?"

"No. He's a friend. Well, a new friend. We're just getting to know each other."

"So drinks, dinner and a movie with someone you're getting to know? Sounds like a date to me."

"It's really not," Carol sighed. "Besides, I don't think that's any of your business."

"Well, if it gets serious, it'll be my business. I wanna know the kind of man you'd be bringing around Sophia."

"Relax, Rick. He's a friend, and he's already met Sophia. He lived next door to me, briefly."

"Oh," Rick said with a slow nod.

"Well, if it turns into something a little more than 'friendly,' would you at least let me know? I let you know about my date, and…"

"Yes, Rick. Not that I owe you any explanation."

"Whoa. I know. I know you don't. I didn't mean that to sound…" He rubbed his hand over his face for a moment, sighing in exasperation. It was a lot easier for them to talk when it ended in them tearing each other's clothes off. "Look, can we start over? You look really nice. I hope you have a nice time out with your friend." Carol stared at him for a moment before finally cracking a smile and rolling her eyes.

"Thank you. And I will." She eyed him for a moment.

"What?"

"You and Jessie? Did that ever…I know you said it wasn't going to work out." Rick shook his head.

"Yeah, we decided to just be friends. It's probably a good thing. Turns out, Carl and her oldest boy Ron really don't like each other."

"Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Yeah. It sucks, but that's life. It doesn't work out, you move on. Or you try, anyway."

"Yeah," Carol offered with a little smile. "I should get going."

"Yeah. I'll see you around."

"Okay." She gave a little wave and turned to walk down the steps, but before she was too far away, Rick called out for her again. "Hey." She turned then.

"For what it's worth, if this turns out to be something more than friendly, I'd be happy for you. So long as he's a good guy, that is." Carol bit her lower lip before ducking her head in a little nod.

"Yeah, I think he is a good guy. Thanks, Rick." She turned then, hugging her arms to herself as she hurried off to her car. When she got inside, she sat a moment, leaning her head back against the seat rest and pulling her phone out to check her messages. She had one from Daryl.

I'll be there in fifteen. Traffic's a bitch.

She smiled then, tapping a quick message back.

I'll be there in about fifteen, too. Just dropped Soph off with her dad. See u.

...

Axel's was a little bar halfway between Carol's house and Daryl's apartment building. It wasn't much to look at, but they had both been there before and agreed it was one of the better bars in the area.

When Daryl arrived first, he decided to wait for Carol outside so she didn't have to go in alone. While he waited, he lit up a cigarette and leaned against the side of the building, waiting for a glimpse of her car.

He wasn't sure what he was doing. Honestly, he didn't know if he needed to treat this night like a date. It wasn't what it was. He didn't know what she was expecting, but she'd given him no signals that she thought it was more than two people going out for a drink as friends and getting to know each other.

He hadn't been with anybody but Lucy in such a long time, he honestly didn't know if anything had changed, if there were expectations. Whatever the case was, he was just glad he wasn't stuck sitting at home alone thinking about the pile of shit his life had turned into.

Despite his anxiety about the unknown, he found himself looking forward to spending time with her. She was kind and funny and beautiful, and when she smiled, he smiled. Somehow, the idea of moving on with someone like her didn't terrify the living hell out of him, considering the shit he'd gone through with Lucy. He'd been certain he was going to live the rest of his life avoiding women at all costs, not wanting to put himself through the bullshit again. But he hadn't counted on Carol. She'd had the best timing coming into his life, and he was sure that had to be for a reason. He was grateful to have someone to talk to, even if that's all it ever was.

He was almost finished with his smoke when Carol pulled up outside the bar. He saw her smile in his direction, and he noticed he held his breath for a moment. When he pushed off of the wall and let out a stream of smoke, he tossed his cigarette butt and started over to meet her.

"How'd you beat me here? Speeding again?" Carol asked, eyeing him when she got out of the car.

"Just lucky, I guess. Hit a lot of green lights."

"That's funny. I hit all the red ones." Daryl grinned, and Carol noticed he'd put on a nice, button up shirt and a pair of jeans that didn't have grease stains from the garage on them. She was certain he'd shaved. The swelling and bruising over his eye was better, too. He looked like he was feeling better, and that made her happy. "You wanna go in?"

"Yeah." Daryl cleared his throat and moved around to open the door for Carol. She thanked him with a smile and went in first.

They found a little out-of-the-way corner table, and a pretty redheaded girl came over to ask them what they wanted. They gave their orders, and within a couple of minutes, they had their drinks and paid the waitress.

"So?" Carol finally started, taking a sip of her drink and eyeing Daryl.

"So?"

"Any news since Wednesday?"

"Since two days ago? Uh, not really. Oh, I got a part time job stocking shelves two days a week. Martys?"

"Oh. Yeah? I shop there. That was quick."

"Yeah, my boss put a good word in for me, actually. Guess he figured it was better than tryin' to find a way to get me more hours at the garage."

"Well, I'm glad you found something." She eyed him. "Is this to pay for the paternity test?"

"Yeah. I gotta get it done. I know it sounds shitty, but I don't wanna be involved in this any longer than I gotta be if it turns out the kid ain't mine."

"I understand," Carol nodded. "If you need a loan or…" Daryl held his hand up.

"Thanks, but I gotta do this on my own. Already tried the bank, and that fell through. It ain't gonna kill me to work a little extra to make the money. Before I met Lucy, I was doin' everything on my own. Time to start doin' that again."

"Good point," Carol nodded. Daryl chewed his lip for a moment before taking another sip of his drink.

"You know, I think she wanted me dependin' on her. I mean, she didn't work a whole lot. She was a daddy's girl. Her daddy had money, and he made sure she had an allowance. Even after we moved out together, you know? He always had this way of makin' sure I knew he was still takin' care of his little girl." He shook his head, and Carol propped her chin in her hand. "Things were real good for a while. Thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with her, you know?" Carol nodded.

"Starting over sucks."

"Really sucks," Daryl agreed with a little laugh. "Lucy wasn't always the way she is now, you know? I still remember some of the good stuff, but in the last year, the bad shit just got so bad. She was ok before her daddy died. I mean, she still had her moments, but for the most part, she was alright. She worked a little, and she had her daddy's money. I still paid the bills. Then her daddy died and left all that money to her, and she just started doin' little things at first. She was payin' the bills, and I told her I could, you know? She said she wanted to. Then the arguments started. She'd remind me how much she was doin'. Little things like that. Before long, the little fights turned into big fights. And the way she looked at me? Hell, I thought she hated me. Then she'd come cryin', askin' me to forgive her. It was always this back and forth, and even when she told me she was sorry, it made me feel like shit. Like I done somethin' wrong."

"That must've been terrible," Carol said quietly.

"See, she depended on her daddy for a lot. She did. And when he was gone, I tried bein' there for her. I tried, but it wasn't enough. After a while, you know, she just started gettin' so angry. And she'd take it out on me. And at first, I just let it happen. I knew she was hurtin' and needed to take it out on somebody. What I didn't see was that it wasn't even about her daddy after a while. She'd just fly off the handle. Run hot and cold. After a while, it just started to feel normal. I started to forget that things were better before. Hell, I started forgettin' who I was before all that. She started drillin' it into my head that if it wasn't for her or her daddy's money, I'd still be livin' paycheck to paycheck, that I wouldn't amount to nothin'. I started believin' it. People like that? They get into your head." He took another sip of his drink and gave a little shrug. "I keep lyin' in bed at night, wide awake, wonderin' if I can get back to who I was before her. I mean, that me was a fuckin' mess, but at least I knew what I wanted. Wanted a family. The fucked up thing is, I might be gettin' that with the last person in the world I want it with. Don't know. Maybe when I get the answers, I can stop holdin' my breath and waitin' for what happens next." He met Carol's gaze, and she cocked her head to the side a little.

"I hope you get what it is you want, Daryl," she said softly. "I hope you find the you that you're looking for."

"Did you?" Daryl asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"When you got divorced. Did you change? Did you find the you that you were before you met your husband?"

"God," Carol said quietly, placing her drink on the table and sitting back in her chair. "That's a hell of a question."

"You don't have to answer," he said with a little shrug. "I just felt like I was talking too much."

"Oh, no. No, I like talking about people that aren't me." She grinned. "Well, in some ways, like you and Lucy, our little fights became big fights. Life happened, I guess. The little fights—you know the ones—about hurt feelings and someone forgetting something important became big fights that just spiraled out of control. One day, I realized that we weren't fighting to save the relationship. We were just fighting, and it wasn't good. I loved my husband and my daughter, but the more I thought about leaving, the better I felt. When I thought about staying, fighting to get back to what we were before, it felt like a losing fight. Still, even after I left, I struggled. I still struggle. Moving on is hard. Divorce is hard. Letting go is harder."

"Would you ever go back?"

"To Rick?" Carol asked, wide-eyed. "No." She shook her head. "No. I, well, if I'm being honestly, I'll say this. If I could go back to where things were good and try to save the marriage before it started to fall apart, yeah, maybe. For my daughter. I mean, I still care about Rick. I do. I don't love him. I've been confused for a long time, but I know that, at least. Like I said, moving on is hard. And Rick's…well, Rick's familiar. Comfortable. But comfort isn't love. Familiar isn't love. It's a good thing, sometimes, but it's not what's going to make a life together work."

"So, you're happy things turned out like they did?" Daryl asked, running his finger around the rim of his glass. Carol huffed out a laugh and shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm happy I'm sitting here talking to someone who isn't my ex or someone who knows my ex or someone I work with and see every single day. I'm happy I'm distancing myself from a life I chose to leave behind. I'm happy I don't have to stare up at that fucking stain on the ceiling every morning and wonder if he's really forgotten about it or if he's just ignoring it to piss me off." At Daryl's confused stare, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Ah, sorry. I'm rambling."

"It's alright."

"No. No, I'm not going back anymore. Only forward. That's the only way, right?"

"I think so," he agreed. "Even if this kid turns out to be mine, even if Lucy gets the help she needs, I can't go back. I was suffocatin'. The woman I fell in love with disappeared a long time ago. I got a few good memories, but all I see when I look at her is how much I hated myself this whole last year."

"Scars," Carol said quietly. "Sometimes we're in it so deep we don't even see how bad we're hurting ourselves." Daryl stared at her for a moment, and in that moment, he held his breath, feeling those words etch themselves deep inside somewhere. He blew out a slow, deep breath, and he nodded his head.

"Yeah. I never thought of it that way before." Somewhere across the bar, a loud laugh rose up through the din of the bar, and Carol looked over just in time to see a tall man with slicked back, dark hair come walking in with his arm draped over some petite little blonde's shoulders. She looked away for only a second before her attention snapped back in realization. Her eyes widened, and she looked away, getting Daryl's attention. "What's goin' on?"

"Uh, I'm not sure." She swallowed hard, and she nodded her head in the direction of the new bar patron. Daryl's gazed followed the direction of Carol's head bob, and when his eyes settled on Negan, he tensed. "Is that…is that him? Mustang guy?"

"Yeah," Daryl bit out. "That's him. And that's not Lucy." He shook his head and swigged down the last of his drink. "I ain't really surprised."

"You ok?" Daryl nodded his head.

"Yeah, actually. I think I am." Carol pursed her lips and nodded her head before squinting at him.

"You wanna get out of here, don't you?"

"Yeah, I kinda don't wanna deal with this shit tonight."

"I get it. Come on. Let's go grab some dinner."

"Pizza?" Daryl asked.

"You and your takeout," she sighed. "Fine. Pizza and a movie?"

"And maybe more drinking. I have beer."

"That sounds like a really bad idea," Carol snorted. "Let's do it."

Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks again for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always, feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated!