Chapter 10: My Guy

Blaine had hoped to talk to Kurt about what happened at the nightclub during the long bus ride back to Ohio, but Kurt insisted that he was exhausted and spent most of the ride napping.

On Monday, Blaine drove Kurt to school. He decided to break the ice. "So, are you worried about-t-t having another-having another —panic attack?"

"I didn't have a panic attack," Kurt insisted flatly.

"What? B-b-b-but how can you —be sure you didn't?" Blaine pressed.

"Because I didn't! It was just like…a breathing problem. I just felt like I couldn't breathe, that's what it felt like. I should probably get tested for asthma or something."

"Kurt," Blaine scolded, "it did not s-s-sound like asthma. You w-w-weren't wheezing, you were like-like-like-like —breathing fast and shallow."

"What do you know about asthma, anyways?" he asked petulantly.

"I r-r-read things and it d-d-d-didn't sound like an a-a-asthma attack, that's all I'm-I'm-I'm saying, Kurt. Why won't you llllisten to me?"

"Because you got your M.D. on the internet, Blaine! And you're the one not listening?" Kurt was really starting to sound angry and Blaine felt his frustration mounting. Why is he always so stubborn?

"F-f-f-fine, I'm not a doctor, I know th-th-th-that. It just seems like you don't think-don't think—like you don't think it was a p-panic attack because you don't want it to be a p-p-panic attack rather than be-because you really d-d-d-don't think it was."

Blaine pulled up in front of McKinley and he heard Kurt mutter, "Oh, thank god," under his breath. Kurt practically leapt out of Blaine's car as soon as he cut the engine.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

Kurt was stubborn, but Blaine knew how to be persistent. He had even been praised for his persistence when Kurt was hiding at home from Karofsky. That had been a good reminder that sometimes he needed to stick to his guns when things were important. That's why Blaine was so surprised when it all blew up in his face by the end of the day.

He had hoped that maybe Sam could help Kurt see reason. After all, Sam had been the one to recognize it as a panic attack in the first place. Blaine tried again over lunch.

"Sam, I was so im-im-impressed with how you-you-you knew what to do when Kurt had that p-p-p-panic attack in Chicago. How did you know wh-wh-what to look for?" Blaine used his most charming voice, trying to frame the conversation as being about Sam rather than about Kurt.

Kurt, of course, saw right through this charade. "For the umpteenth time, it wasn't a panic attack," he grumbled.

"Oh, um, thanks Blaine. My, uh, my mom gets them sometimes. She hyperventilates when she gets them too and she explained it to us so we weren't scared when it happens."

"That must be hard for her," Kurt replied. "Thankfully that's not my situation." I've never seen him in denial about something like this before. What is going on?

"Oh, okay, Kurt. I didn't realize. I guess it could be something else…it just reminded me a lot of when my mom gets them. My bad."

"Kurt's just in d-d-d-denial, Sam. Don't m-m-mind him."

Kurt's eyes grew wide. "Excuse me? Don't mind me? I'm the one it fucking happened to Blaine, God!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I" he had to stop to take a deep breath, so flummoxed was he by Kurt's icy stare. It gave Blaine a moment to take in Kurt's facial expression, his body posture, and the tone in his voice. He looks absolutely furious. I need to take a step back and re-evaluate this situation before I say something I regret. Blaine played the words back over in his head but he still didn't understand why Kurt was so upset.

Poor Sam was caught in the middle. "Hey, Kurt, I'm sorry dude. I didn't mean to offend you."

Kurt sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong, Sam. This is between Blaine and myself."

Sam looked relieved. "Phew. So…maybe I'll just…go, so you two can figure this out." He grabbed his tray and his backpack and left without bothering to wait for a reply.

"I…I see now that you're m-m-m-mad at me but I-I-I-I d-don't under-understand why, so can you…explain?"

"I just…I wish you would stop calling it a panic attack."

"Okay, but why though?"

"Because you don't know that! You don't, okay, you're guessing. Sam even admitted that he couldn't really say for sure."

"Well, sure, of course he c-c-c-can't be sure, but, well, but-but-but-but…Sam has experience, so, why won't you listen to him?"

"Well maybe I would listen if you weren't being so pushy about it, Blaine."

"I'm j-j-just being —pushy because I care about you and I'm w-w-worried! Something happened and you're not…you're not getting any help or t-t-trying to figure it out!"

Kurt sighed. "I don't think I'm explaining it very well. It's not just that you're being pushy about it, it's…I don't know it feels like…it feels like you're telling me what happened instead of letting me tell you what happened. You're…you're acting like you know more about my own experiences than I do, Blaine, and it's…I don't know, it just feels really uncomfortable. I don't know if I can even explain why exactly, but I feel like I have the right to interpret my own experiences, does that make sense?"

Blaine's heart sank because yes , it finally did make sense. And with that realization came a wave of guilt. "Oh, wow…Kurt, I…I'm re-really sorry. I definitely don't w-w-want you to feel that way, so I'm sorry that's what I did."

"Well, thank you for apologizing. I guess I shouldn't have expected you to know how I was feeling when I didn't really have it figured out until just now myself." He offered Blaine a tentative half-smile. Blaine reached across to find Kurt's hand under the lunch table and gave it a squeeze.

"I d-d-do want to listen, sweetheart, I re-really do. I want to hear what happened from you, how you saw it. I w-w-want to be there for you to be comforting and-and sup-supportive. I…I shouldn't have j-jumped into problem solving mode so f-fast. I guess…when you didn't want to talk-didn't want to talk on the, uh, the bus, I assumed…well, that you didn't want to talk at-at-at all."

"Oh, no, Blaine I was honestly just exhausted. It was, like, bizarrely draining and I was kind of still recovering. Maybe…after school, today? If you want to come over, we can get cozy with some blankets and I'll tell you about it."

"That s-sounds p-perfect."

Just as Kurt had suggested, the boys curled up in the living room with an afghan over their laps and Blaine's arms around Kurt. Before, the harder Blaine had pushed the stronger Kurt had resisted. Now that Blaine was taking a step back and listening, the dynamic was completely different. Kurt was opening up and sharing how he was feeling, without being afraid of how Blaine would use it to convince Kurt that he was right.

"You know what it felt like, actually? It felt like when you get the wind knocked out of you, like when you're playing sports. It was like that!"

"Oh, I g-g-get it now." Blaine chuckled. "I keep forgetting you were on the f-f-f-football team last year."

"Yeah, I know."

Blaine wrapped his arms tighter around Kurt, drawing him in closer and pressing a kiss to his temple. Kurt hummed in contentment and burrowed deeper into his chest.

The key turned in the lock and Burt walked in. "Woah, keep it PG in there boys!"

"We're just cuddling, Dad!" Kurt said defensively.

"As long as that's all it is, Kiddo."

"I promise, Mr. —Hummel!" Blaine added.

They stayed in one another's arms until Blaine was finally forced to extricate himself in order to head home for dinner. Since their plans to spend time together that night had been rather last minute, Blaine's parents had insisted that he come home for dinner.

"So Sebastian's going to-going to-going to-going to be in t-t-town this weekend. He was as-as-asking if we w-wanted to hang out. What do you think?"

"Are you serious?" Kurt asked in disbelief.

"I, uh, uh, uh, I mean—I was but I'm sensing that's the-the-the wrong answer. So why d-d-don't you tell me what you're thhhhinking."

"I just—I mean why?"

"Well, he asked," Blaine said with a shrug, feeling like maybe he hadn't understood the question.

"But why do you want to? It defies comprehension. What do you even like about him?"

"Oh, I mean—well he's into-into-into-into show —choir and, well, he's, um, he's gay like us, so there's that."

"Well gay and likes show choir seems like a pretty thin basis for a friendship."

"I just…can't I be allowed to just l-l-like getting to know n-n-new people and making new friends?"

"Of course you're allowed to, Blaine, jeez I'm not your mother. I wasn't trying to tell you who to be friends with. I'm just trying to understand," Kurt said huffily.

"I d-d-don't see what there is to under-understand, but okay. We hung out in Chicago, he wants to-to-to hang out again. Why would I s-s-say no?"

"Well, for starters maybe because he spent half the weekend trying to get into your pants."

Um, what?

"That's n-n-not true!"

"Isn't it? He was dancing all up on you at the nightclub. And you didn't hear what he said to me when you left to go to the bathroom."

"Wait, what? Oh my god, is that why you had-why you had-why you-why you had a p-p-panic attack? What did he sssay?" Blaine was suddenly filled with worry.

"Oh my god, Blaine, enough with the panic attack. This isn't about that."

"Okay, okay, s-s-sorry! If it's not that, then…it j-j-just sounds like you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous! Or maybe I am, a little bit, but…look I didn't love watching someone flirting and pawing all over my boyfriend all night."

"Come on, Kurt, you know how cl-cl-clueless I am about this-this sort of thing. Was he really flirting?"

"Wow, yes, Blaine, he was really flirting."

"Well…I'm s-s-sorry I didn't notice. It's a little hard to p-p-pay attention when I've got you all sexy on the-on the dance floor." A little flirting to remind him he has nothing to be jealous about can't hurt.

Kurt blushed and adjusted his collar. "It's really unfair that you're so good at flirting and yet so oblivious when you're on the receiving end."

"Hey!" Blaine protested. "I n-notice when you flirt with me! N-No one else m-matters."

"Well this is just downright unfair. How can I stay annoyed with you when you're being so cute?"

Blaine shrugged, grinning.

"Anyways, it's not just the flirting. He's rude, he thinks he's better than us, and it feels like he's trying to, like, steal you away from me or something. Sorry, I know that sounds ridiculous. I know you're not a thing that can be owned or stolen, but…that's the only way I can explain how I'm feeling, I guess."

No one could ever steal me away from you. Never. I wish you would just believe that as strongly as I do.

"You have n-nothing to worry about. You're just b-b-being —paranoid."

Sebastian: So is the Goblin King joining us for Karaoke?

Goblin King? Like David Bowie in Labyrinth? Who is that supposed to…does he mean Kurt? He must.

Blaine: Yes. My friend Nick is hoping we can meet him up by his school. Apparently there's an all-ages place he likes.

Sebastian: Lost your ID already?

Blaine: No, but I'd rather not use it if there's another option.

Sebastian: Fine. I suppose we can be law-abiding citizens for one night but next time we're going somewhere actually fun.

Hey! This place isgoing to be fun! I'll just have to prove him wrong. Considering how seriously Nick took his karaoke, Blaine felt confident that he would.

Blaine: He's more of a Freddie than a Bowie.

Sebastian: I'm not seeing it.

Blaine pulled up the photo album on his phone and scrolled through until he found one of Kurt and him dressed up as different eras of Freddie Mercury from last Halloween. He texted it to Sebastian. See! We're fun!

Sebastian: I'm impressed. But you're clearly the Freddie in the relationship. Your boy's got the Bowie stick-up hair. Nice arms, Killer Queen ;)

Blaine blasted one of his "pump up" playlists for the ride to the karaoke bar so by the time he pulled into the parking lot, he was already riding an energy high. Sam and Rachel singing along loudly in the back was almost enough to distract Blaine from Kurt's loud sighs. He had said that he was fine with them all going to karaoke with Sebastian but now that the day had arrived his displeasure—though silent—was palpable.

"Remind me who all is coming tonight," Rachel requested as they made their way towards a large table.

"Well, us o-o-obviously. Nick is b-b-bringing his roommate David, who I met briefly the last time I was out there and he seems p-pretty cool. Then Se-Se-Sebastian is coming…I don't think he's bringing anyone but he m-might be so I got an extra seat."

"So I'm the only girl?" Rachel asked with a pout.

"Oh…I-I suppose you are, R-Rach. Is that…is that okay?" Blaine was so used to Rachel hanging out with mostly guys that it hadn't even occurred to him that she might feel the odd one out.

"That depends on your answer to the next two questions. First, is David cute. And second, does he play for your team or mine?"

Blaine laughed. "Yes, he's c-c-cute and as far as I know, he's st-st-straight."

"Oooh, does this mean we can play matchmaker? This night is already looking up." Kurt clapped his hands with excitement.

"As long as no one sings 'Fiddler,'" Rachel warned.

In flagrant disregard for her request, Kurt immediately began to sing, "Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch…" He interlocked his fingers underneath his chin and spread his elbows wide. In the midst of Kurt's crooning, Sebastian arrived. Kurt stopped mid-lyric.

"Oh don't stop on my account, Yente."

Kurt's ears turned pink and he muttered under his breath, Blaine only catching some of his words "…not even who sings…not that…even matters."

Blaine hopped up to say hello. You never stay seated when a guest arrives, his mother's voice echoed in his head. Sebastian smiled broadly and leaned in for a hug—or at least Blaine assumed it was a hug. Suddenly their left cheeks were pressed together and Sebastian kissed the air right next to Blaine's ear. Blaine pulled back as soon as he could without seeming rude, had just enough time to catch Kurt's gobsmacked expression, and then was being pulled in and the process was repeated on the other side.

Blaine laughed nervously.

"Is that how they say hello in Cincinnati?" Kurt asked, glaring daggers at Sebastian.

"As if! No, babe, it's how they say hello in Paris. It's much more civilized, don't you think?"

"More like a violation of personal space," Kurt muttered audibly under his breath.

Blaine reached out to take Kurt's hand in an effort to soothe his jealousy. I'm yours, sweetheart, don't fret. Kurt met his eyes and gave him a warm smile and a gentle squeeze. Some of the tension melted away.

"So, Rachel, I do think you might be the youngest hag I've ever met."

Kurt raised his eyebrows at Blaine as if to say, "This is what I was talking about, see? He's rude." Blaine just patted his hand in what he hoped was a soothing gesture.

"Uh, excuse me?" Rachel asked.

"A hag is—" Sebastian started to explain but Rachel cut him off.

"Do not gaysplain the word 'hag' to me. And…well, I suppose present company does give credence to your theory." Rachel gestured at the three gay boys she was currently sharing a plate of fries with. "In my defense, I was raised by gay men so of course I enjoy their company; it feels like being with family."

"Aww," cooed Kurt, throwing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her in for a side-hug.

"Blaine!" His name carried over the hubbub from across the room. He turned around and was delighted to see Nick and David. Everyone is here!

Blaine greeted them all with hugs, his enthusiasm escalating as the group of friends grew in size.

"Well, now that everyone is here, who is ready for some music!" Nick asked energetically.

Rachel shot her hand up remarkably fast. "I already have my first song picked out. I'm going to go sign up. I will, naturally, be singing the incomparable Ms. Barbra Streisand. Talk amongst yourselves to determine who is most suited to complement my vocals."

Blaine chuckled at Kurt's exaggerated eye roll. "Do you w-w-want me to go g-g-g-get those for you? Because I think your eyes rolled under that-that table in the far corner?"

"Such a dear," Kurt said fondly. Blaine felt relieved that they were back to their usual banter. Maybe with the right song I can reassure Kurt that Sebastian isn't a threat.

"Does she actually expect us to fight over who gets to sing with her?" David asked, hesitantly.

"Oh, that's just Rachel being Rachel," Kurt explained. Kurt! We're supposed to be her wingmen. Blaine elbowed Kurt and gave him a significant look. "Which is to say…that Rachel has a charmingly dramatic personality. She really is outrageously talented. Which you'll see in a few minutes."

"I suppose she has some talent," Sebastian said with a smirk, "but I think I could give her a run for her money. I'll sing with polly pocket princess."

The current performer finished up and then Rachel's name was called. Together, Rachel and Sebastian performed a lovely duet of 'People' from 'Funny Girl.' Halfway through, Blaine had a spark of inspiration. He ran up to put their names on the list, making it back to their seats just in time to applaud as the song ended. Rachel ran over to preen under the praise of her friends, but Sebastian stopped to sign up on the list.

A few more acts went up before they called Blaine's name. He reached his hand out for Kurt. "C-c-come on, I want to s-s-sing this with you."

Kurt smiled brightly. Finally, I'm doing something right. Kurt popped up from his seat, leaned over to give Blaine an unexpectedly passionate kiss before heading towards the stage.

"Your boy's a little heavy on the PDA tonight, Killer. You should tell him to tone it down. We're not in Chicago anymore."

Blaine looked around and then shrugged. "I don't see anyone glaring. I think we're fine."

Once on stage, he grabbed the mic and twirled it in his hand before saying, "This song is for my guy."

Nothing you could say
Can tear me away from my guy
Nothing you could do
'Cause I'm stuck like glue to my guy

I'm stickin' to my guy
Like a stamp to a letter
Like the birds of a feather
We stick together
I'm tellin' you from the start
I can't be torn apart from my guy

Kurt was smiling brilliantly at him. Through an exchange of minute facial expressions, Blaine signaled that they would take the next stanza together.

Nothing you can do
Could make me untrue to my guy
Nothing you could buy
Could make me tell a lie to my guy

I gave my guy my word of honor
To be faithful and I'm gonna
You best be believing
I won't be deceiving my guy

As a matter of opinion I think he's tops
My opinion is he's the cream of the crop
As a matter of taste to be exact
He's my ideal as a matter of fact

No muscle bound man
Could take my hand from my guy
No handsome face
Could ever take the place of my guy
He may not be a movie star
But when it comes to being happy we are
There's not a man today
Who could take me away from my guy

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and bowed while they received their applause. "Thank you," Kurt leaned over and whispered in his ear. Blaine slung his arm over Kurt's shoulders as they walked back to their table. "I m-m-meant every word."

"Technically well sung but I would have thought the royal gays had something a little less basic up their sleeves," Sebastian commented.

It's not basic, it's classic.

"Oh shush," said Rachel. "It was very romantic!" Then a sad look fell over her face. "I used to sing romantic duets before I blew up my relationship." She began to sniffle.

"Oh, no, Rachel don't cry. You deserve someone who can keep up with you vocally and as much as I love my brother, Finn was never going to be that person." Kurt reached out and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Wait, let me get this straight. Rachel used to date Goblin's brother? Exactly how incestuous is this Glee Club of yours?" Sebastian sounded intrigued.

"There have been a lot of different romantic configurations within Glee Club, but Finn was dating Rachel before he became my stepbrother," Kurt explained.

"Huh? So who did you used to date, Killer? Was it blondie over here with the fuckable lips?"

Kurt made a sudden choking sound and began to cough. Sam turned red and looked away.

"Uh, n-n-no Kurt's my first boyfriend actually."

"And just for the record, I'm straight," added Sam.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "For now."

Sam gulped.

Kurt let out a forced laugh, as if Sebastian was telling a hilarious joke. "Ahahaha, good one Sebastian. What a funny joke to lampshade the stereotypes about gay men being predatory. Hahaha."

Sebastian seemed to study Kurt for a moment as if he were an object of intellectual curiosity. "And you say he's your first boyfriend? Yeah, that seems about right. We all have to start somewhere."

Blaine opened his mouth to object, but at that moment the announcer called out, "Sebastian Smythe. Brass in Pocket."

"Oh, there's my cue! Now this is how you sing a love song at karaoke, boys. Watch closely. Especially you, Killer." Sebastian lifted Blaine's chin with his fingertip.

"Do you see how he keeps putting me down, Blaine?" Kurt's just being paranoid.

"He's probably n-n-never even had a b-boyfriend and he's jealous of what we have. Come on, I want to-to-to-to hear him sing. I don't think I-I know this song."

"You really know how to make excuses for him. And I'm pretty sure you'll recognize it once he starts singing. It's just one of those songs no one remembers the name of."

Got brass in pocket
Got bottle I'm gonna use it
Intention I feel inventive
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice

Oh, wait, it's thatsong! Okay, yeah I do know that song.

Got motion restrained emotion
Been driving Detroit leaning
No reason just seems so pleasing

Sebastian really got into the lyrics, getting down on his knees and pretending to beg, then crawling lasciviously forwards.

Gonna make you, make you, make you notice
Gonna use my arms
Gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style
Gonna use my sidestep
Gonna use my fingers
Gonna use my, my, my imagination

'Cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I'm special, so special
I gotta have some of your attention give it to me

"Is he pointing at you?" Kurt asked. "Oh my god, Blaine, he is seriously pointing at you. He's singing the whole damn song to you." He isn't, is he?

Got rhythm I can't miss a beat
Got new skank it's so reet
Got something I'm winking at you
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice

Sebastian sure did wink in his general direction. "Uh…m-m-maybe he's j-just singing to the group, since we're the ones he knows. Always helps to sing to a f-friendly face."

"Straws, meet grasping," Kurt huffed.

Gonna use my arms
Gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style
Gonna use my sidestep
Gonna use my fingers
Gonna use my, my, my imagination

'Cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I'm special, so special
I gotta have some of your attention
Give it to me

It was getting harder and harder to convince himself that Kurt was just being paranoid.


Thank you, as always, to my wonderful beta!
There's no one else here
no one like BlurglesmurfKlaine
She's special, so special

Music Notes:
My Guy - Mary Wells
Brass in Pocket - The Pretenders
I hope I'm not the only one who could never remember the name of this song