In retrospect Snap Wexley is not what one might consider a great guy. Maybe to some, he's good, or passably pleasant but he's a flawed man who makes many, many stupid decisions. Like this one for instance. He's marching over to Rey's car like a man with a purpose, a man with something to get off his chest. Whether or not he knows it's not Rey in the driver's seat will remain a mystery because Snap has never been the most observant human being.

The evening air is chilly as Poe pulls Rey through the door of Ackbar's. He hasn't bothered to zip up his coat but Rey finds herself eternally grateful for the fact that she has. Her fingertips sting with the cold November air and she has to pull her hand free from Poe's to shove them in her pockets. This is the absolute last thing she wants to be doing right now. Snap is a fool and a mean drunk if he has in fact been drinking so the thought of facing him leaves her more then a little nervous.

His aggression never really scared her, not the way Ben's has. Snap is more like a little boy who doesn't get his way than a man on a mission to punish. That doesn't mean she likes putting up with it, it just means that she doesn't worry he'll cause any major harm. Ben on the other hand. While his temper has definitely toned down, Rey isn't entirely convinced he would keep his cool if provoked.

"Snap! Hey buddy, what are you doing?" Poe calls out before Snap has the chance to really close in Rey's car. She can see Ben's head turn in their direction and she can't help but hope he'll stay where he is.

Snap's voice sounds off as he calls out, "Dameron?" and Rey can see he's squinting as he peers towards them. It's exactly the prompt he needs to alter his track as Snap's feet begin to take him in their direction, "Rey?"

Her name sounds wrong coming from his mouth, there's a hope there that's unwarranted and makes her skin crawl. "Hey, Snap," she offers lamely but Poe has his body positioned between her and the now obviously drunk Wexley as he approaches.

"What-er you two doing?" he calls as he lumbers forward, "How come you won't answer my texts?"

Rey wants to tell him he's an egotistical jackass but Poe speaks before she has a chance to, "I told you to leave her alone buddy," Poe warns softly but Snap is in front of them now and he's hovering over Poe his dark eyes menacingly agitated. "You been drinking?" rhetorical question, the answerably now is obvious, "Where's Ello? Wes? Deckard?"

"Back at Corinna's," He answers, his tongue drawing over his lower lip as he seems to size Rey up over Poe's shoulder. Corinna's is a bar that a lot of pilots tend to flock to. Corinna herself was once military and has always had a no bullshit attitude with a love for a good rowdy story. It's like coming home for a lot of them but with more alcohol and less common sense. Han hates it there.

"Annnnnd why aren't you with them?" Poe asks casually, his tone easy but he's reaching out behind him, his palm bumping into Rey's thigh as he motions to hold her back.

Snap's eyes go wide, he's scrubbing his hand over his round cheeks and well-tailored facial hair as if he's trying to gain some piece of common sense, "Is that what this is then?" he asks almost incoherently. He's gesturing between Rey and Poe as if there's something to see as if he knows a secret they haven't been let in on.

Poe cocks his head but Rey can see the way Snap's brain tumbles from irrational thought to irrational thought like a Plinko chip bouncing around until it falls into one of many incredibly wrong possibilities. "He thinks we're together," Rey whispers causing Poe to snap back and look at her.

"What?" he cries, but they both know it's ludicrous. They both know what Poe has hidden in his pocket waiting for the right moment. "Oh no no, buddy, no." Poe chides but Snap is taking a few steps further, there's barely a foot between him and Poe now and Rey can smell the alcohol off of him, pungent and suffocating. "No, Rey and I are just friends."

"Where's Finn then?" Snap asks and it's a valid question. Rey and Poe are seldom together without Finn but it's hard to plan a birthday party for someone when they're sitting right across from you. The truth wouldn't matter even if Snap could see it spelled out in front of him. He's not thinking clearly and has been coming up with his own conclusions this whole time. People are dangerous when they're like this, singularly focused and fuelled by drink.

Somewhere in the background a car door slams and Rey can see Ben stalking towards them. His long legs pull him casually in their direction as he stuffs his hands in the pockets of his soft leather jacket. He doesn't say anything but when her eyes meet his she knows he's picked up on her apprehension. Something in his posture changes, his feet carrying him a little quicker, with a little more intent until he finds himself wound passed Snap and at Poe's side. His hand slides through the loop of Rey's arms, the warmth of it a comfort at her back, "You ok?" he asks softly and Rey doesn't know if she should nod or shake her head because honestly this situation is stupid and unnecessary and she just wants to go home. When she doesn't answer Ben's eyes narrow glancing to Poe who looks visibly tense and then Snap who's mouth has fallen open and is gaping like a fish.

"This guy then?" Snap snaps and Rey can see the way Ben's jaw tightens. "Really?"

"Who are you?" Ben asks with the air of someone tired of the situation already.

Snap simply turns on Ben, "Who the fuck are you?" he bites and she can hear as Poe lets out a groan of nervous frustration.

Ben however is completely unfazed as he offers Snap his name, just his first name because fuck him, he doesn't need to know any more than that. Ben's hand is rubbing soft comforting circles around her back when he asks, "And, now you know my name, who are you?"

The look on Snap's face would be comical if it weren't for the fact that Rey knows how mouthy he can get when he's been drinking. "Snap Wexley," He offers with a confidence that seems a little out of place because Ben's eyebrows are now raised and he looks a little like he's going to laugh.

"This, this is Snap?" Ben asks with a grin, he's looking at Rey as though he can't quite figure it out. "This guy ghosted you?" The tone in his voice speaks volumes for his opinion on the matter. In Ben's eyes Rey is the catch and Snap is lucky to have been allowed to even know her. Maybe he's trying to make her feel better, maybe he thinks it's true but Snap doesn't seem to think it's funny at all.

"I'm a busy man," Snap offers as though he's trying to explain himself but no one buys it. Ben simply shakes his head as he extracts himself from Rey's side.

Poe is watching cautiously as Ben slips his hands back into his pockets and uses his body as a blockade effectively stopping Snap from getting anywhere near Rey. "Look, guy," Ben says easily, "I don't care how busy you are, you don't have a girl like Rey take interest and then just fuck off. Someone else is going to scoop her up, you had to know that."

Snap looks like he wants to say something, he's working his lips together agitatedly before scrunching his nose, "Fuck this," he cries, "You want her, have her. I've got no patience for a woman who doesn't respect my time."

Anger boils up from within and before Rey has time to think she's pushing passed Poe, the easier of her two sentinels, "Excuse me?" she barks and Poe is groaning again, his hand on Rey's shoulder, "No, fuck this, seriously? You want to play that card?" Warmth floods her body like a steady tap filling a bathtub. Months and months worth of unanswered texts and broken plans line her mind, "I don't respect your time? really?" her laugh is bitter and cold but she presses on before he has the chance to respond, "Do you even know how many times you've texted me after the fact to tell me you can't make it? Let me fill you in it's over ten at this point and you know what? That's just rude!"

"Ok Peanut, you've said your piece," Poe chides giving Rey's shoulder a light tug.

No, this is it, this is her catharsis, she's been owed this and goddammit she's taking it, "I've given you my time, more then you deserve. You think because you fly that makes you some kind of god? Guess what it doesn't." Snap looks like he's been visibly struck which only eggs her on, "I've changed my work schedule, I've made myself pretty, I've cooked god damn beautiful meals and you? You just fuck off like my time means jack shit to you."

"I'm a pilot Rey, I fly private, I have to be able to go at the drop of a hat. I don't expect someone who just touches people for a living to get that."

"Ohhhh fuck no," Poe mumbles and Rey can feel his grip on her shoulder tighten, "Snap, maybe not the wisest there friend."

There's always a moment where anger turns to rage. A tipping point if you will where a reasonable person goes from rational to irrational. Rey has always prided herself on her ability to stay rather impartial to things. She doesn't usually let her temper get the best of her despite how high her emotions may run. She's levelheaded, she's logical, she's also damn proud of her chosen vocation in life so when someone belittles the one thing she's most passionate about? Well, that's an area that causes Rey the balanced and enlightened human being to become a little… unbalanced.

"Excuse me," she seethes and Poe is looking to Ben as though asking for help. "Are you fucking kidding me? You arrogant fuckwit! You think because some asshole with a lot of money has hired you to be his own personal air-cabbie that means your time is more important than mine?" Ben makes a noise that sounds like a stifled laugh as Poe's grip on her shoulder disappears, "I make people feel better, I make people happy, I help them heal and you with your belittling condescension can't take that away from me. I won't let you."

"You're essentially a whore without the perks," Snap says viscously and this time it's Ben who reacts.

"You owe the lady an apology," he demands, "That was uncalled for even if you are piss drunk." Still his hands remain in his pockets, his shoulders set in a firm line but that anger? That rage? It's blissfully absent. Poe has allowed himself to relax some as he lets Ben take the forefront on this one. Rey wants to put her hands around Snap's throat and squeeze the life right out of him. Her heartbeat hammers in her mind making her dizzy and giving her a headache. His words shouldn't affect her like this but it's so tiring having to defend your profession when people simply can't pull their heads out of their own asses. Truthfully its one in twenty who make snide comments but after years of training and experience it's no less biting to have someone treat you like all you do is rub lotion on people's skin. Especially if that person happens to be Snap Wexley.

"Fuck you," Snap bites but Ben has himself drawn just a little taller, his posture just a little stiffer.

"No," he says evenly but then there's a pause. Ben looks like he wants to say a great many things. His pupils dilate and Rey can see the muscles of his arms shift beneath the light leather of his jacket. For a split second she's worried he's going to explode and then? Then he smiles. "I should thank you really, your fuck up allowed me to get to know Rey," ohhhh this wasn't going to go well. Rey suddenly wishes Ben would shut up but no, of course he keeps talking, "You fucked up, live with it. She deserves better than some drunk pilot who can't stick to his word."

If Ben's goal was to provoke Snap it was working. Rey watches as Snap clenches and unclenches his fists. He's staring a hole in Ben that could cut diamond as though mulling over exactly what he wants to say. As though he's looking for the words that will hurt the most before settling on, "Fuck it, man, you can have her she's a piss poor lay anyway."

Rey's so angry she can't form the words as Poe whispers, "Just ignore him."

Ben on the other hand just smirks, "I doubt that was her there friend," he quips lightly, "It's been my experience women exceed expectations when given the proper equipment to work with. Maybe you better take a long look in the mirror before you start throwing those stones."

At that moment two things happen. The first; Rey steps forward pushing Ben back a little to stop him from making the situation any worse. They just need to let Snap go so they can move on with their evening. The second; Snap rears his fist back and takes a swing at Ben. The problem is, with Rey now in front of Ben, it's Rey who takes the brunt of the impact.

Snap's the kind of guy who looks like a giant teddy bear but people often underestimate his ability to hold his own. He'd been captain of the wrestling team in high school and plays pick up football on weekends when he's home. Sure he enjoys food a little more than the average bear but when Snap throws a punch he's capable of putting some power behind it. Against an opponent like Ben? He definitely isn't about to hold back either.

It happens quickly, so fast Rey barely has time to register whats happened. Her body collides with Ben's whose arms are around her instantly holding her stable. Her cheek burns, and throbs and her teeth feel like she's just licked a nine-volt battery. Everyone's moving around her and all she can do is blink. Ben's hands have her, large and warm against her shoulders now and he's peering down at her his features etched with concern. Poe is somewhere offside and he's yelling, really yelling but Rey can't make him out because all she can hear is this strange shrill ringing and is her nose bleeding?

Ben's mouth is moving but no sound hits her ears. She tries to read his lips but they're his lips, full and soft and so incredibly kissable that all she can do is giggle softly. With a shaky hand she tries to touch them but Ben is frowning and he's trying to hold her fingers halting their search. The lights around them twinkle in strange patterns, bright yellows and blues that glitter and sparkle but still where is that ringing sound coming from?

Ben's hands are touching her face now, his fingertips light as they brush against her cheek. It's sweet but dear god it hurts. Rey wiggles her eyebrows and stretches her face but the motion aches and her skin feels tight against the movement.

Snap is gone, or he's leaving she can't quite tell but Poe is still there and he's yelling at Ben. At least it sounds like he's yelling because all she can hear is the buzz of his voice over the shrill ringing but he doesn't sound happy.

It takes a moment or two before the world starts to come back into focus. Her hearing comes and goes, words getting softer and louder as though listening to them talk from a wide but empty hallway. "Why'd you egg him on like that?" Poe cries and he's pushing Ben away. Ben who is warm, Ben who is firm, Ben who makes her feel better.

"How could you ever encourage her to date him?" Ben bites back but he doesn't respond physically. Up close Rey can see his shoulders tighten, his need to respond nearly visceral. When Poe pushes Ben again he straightens up and he's not right there anymore. Rey whimpers at the loss of him as he turns his attention on Poe, "I really suggest you not do that," Ben says with an even stillness that is eerily calm. "For her sake I'm trying really hard not to react but if you don't get out of my face…"

"You'll what, hit me?" Poe barks.

Ben takes one level breath and then another before he responds, his words careful and dry, "You want to talk about hitting people? Really?" Poe doesn't respond which is probably for the best, "I need to get her home." Ben says softly and his fingers are back, tracing the line of her jaw that is desperately sore and starting to feel swollen.

"Her home," Poe says petulantly.

"What?"

"Her home, not your home, hers." Poe clarifies.

With narrowed eyes Ben picks through Poe's meaning, "Why would I take her to my… oh I see. What is this, are you afraid I'm going to take her from you? That you'll lose her to someone like me?"

Rey's knees start to buckle as she wavers slightly and Poe says, "I'm worried you're going to destroy her." Not hurt, not leave, destroy. The implications are real and heavy and they hurt her ears though that may also be that godawful ringing that's only now starting to die down in pitch.

"You can't treat her like a child," Ben says softly, "She deserves a little more credit then you give her. She's stronger than that."

Her boys, they're fighting again, her boys that care, her boys that love her. Rey giggles as she sways some and Ben's body becomes a wall or warmth holding her steady. Her thoughts are stunted and come together in pieces as though rolled in flour and incapable of finding a connection. "You don't know her," Poe tells Ben and Rey wants to argue that maybe he does, "What is she to you? some challenge until you can get deployed again? See if you can make her fall for you and then leave, game over?"

Poe needs to shut up, she can't hear this anymore and her head hurts to bad she could cry. Is it the pain though? Is that all that is? Everyone seems to have such a better grasp on what's going on than she does, everyone seems to know better. It's hard to trust your own feelings when your friends are constantly second-guessing or putting little pieces of doubt into your mind. Ben doesn't argue though, he doesn't say anything he just stares at Poe as though he wants nothing more then to punch him square in the nose. Probably for the best he doesn't, Poe has managed to avoid surgery once another strike to the face and he might not be so lucky.

"Have a good night Dameron," Ben finally says darkly and his hand is at Rey's elbow gently as he leads her towards her car. Once he has her settled Ben climbs inside and sits. The air is cool but it warms quickly as Ben starts the Honda. His hand lingers on the keys a moment longer, the other hand grasping the steering wheel a little tighter and Rey just sits in the silence of it. Ben hadn't argued with Poe, he hadn't told Poe he was wrong he just stood there. She'd been so sure that her friends didn't know what they were talking about that Ben would never be that person but how well did she really know him? Didn't he tell her that he liked her?

"Rey…" he starts, the way he says her name is like a plea, so soft almost questioning but she doesn't have the heart to hear it.

"I want to go home," she mumbles, her voice coming out weakened and defeated as she presses the warmth of her tender cheek against the cool glass of the passenger side window. The cold feels marvelous dulling the bite of the impact just enough that she can relax just a little.

Ben doesn't try again, he simply pulls away and leads the car out of the city. He has the music on low but she can hear he's been listening to Queen. Track after track passes but all Rey can think about is how this will all end. Ben has a meeting coming up soon, he's got a job he has to get back to. He'll be deployed again and it'll be like he was never there. Only he was there, he is there. He's there for idle conversation over supper, he's there to bring wood in for a fire, he's there to laugh at her bad jokes. He's there to be present in the silence as they sit comfortably in one another's company or help her when she decides at ten in the evening that she wants to make a cake. Ben is there and he's so much more than just the guy who keeps an eye on her. He's the smile in the morning that tells her she's beautiful or the sweet, 'good night' that makes her wonder how she ever lived without it before.

For nearly her entire life Rey has felt as though she was existing with pieces of herself missing. Pieces that Ben seems to have found and picked up and cherished, slowly putting them back piece by painstaking piece. Was she really just a game? Something to pass the time? Could he really be that callous?

As the scenery changes and the window warms beneath her cheek her mind shifts and rational focus takes a hold. The dizzying feeling of possible concussion slips away leaving Rey feeling cold, sore and a little empty. She was sure Ben was so much more then what the others saw of him. Wasn't he? Or was she so broken she projected her deep-seated need for love onto the first set of pretty eyes who'd been nice to her? This was the problem with hope, it snuck in when you least expected it and inflated the irrational. Rey knows she's a good person, she knows there are likable things about her but maybe just not loveable. Maybe not the forever kind.

When Ben pulls into the driveway the silence is deafening. Her body aches in a way that feels sharp and cutting. Ben busies himself with a few bags from the trunk while Rey fishes out her keys and makes to unlock the door. BB is dancing on the other side and bolts out into the wilderness the minute there's enough space for him to move. The evening sky is dark and bright, the moon nearly full, the stars glimmering but the air is still and dead. Storms coming she thinks as she takes a soft sniff at the air. There's a light breeze that kisses her face making the burn of Snaps' touch feel lessened. BB is off doing his business as Ben slips behind her and into the house. "I'll get things ready for tacos," he tells her softly but she wants to tell him not to bother. She isn't in the mood, she doesn't know if she could eat if she tried at this point. Instead she nods and once he's inside, the porch light on for comfort Rey closes the door shutting out the sounds of his movements.

Just a little space, that's all she needs, time to process, to get things in order. She's allowed herself to get to close to the man she has been warned about. She's gotten attached which she knows she shouldn't. His presence promises to be her undoing but she doesn't know at this point if she could do without it. While she waits for her faithful canine to finish his business she finds an Adirondack chair and perches on the edge of it, her hands buried deep within her pockets. BB is kicking at leaves which means he's nearly done but Rey isn't sure she's ready to go inside just yet.

When BB emerges from the woods with a rather large tree branch in his mouth she can't help but smile. It's unfortunate really that the motion causes her such discomfort but honestly Rey doesn't know that she'll be doing much more of that tonight. As he approaches, his hips swinging, tail lifted behind him Rey meets his soft head with the palm of her hand. He's her savior in moments like this. His nose nudges her wrist begging for her attention but it's more than that. He's showing her he's there, that he'll be there as he slumps down to sit on his hips at her feet, pressed hard against her legs. Petting him has always been soothing, his long fur soft and warm beneath her fingers as she scratches down his chest and presses her cheek, the not sore one, against the top of his head. For a minute she feels the warm bite of emotion creeping into her throat, that telltale sign that tears will follow if she's unable to get herself under control. It's almost painful the way it claws at her throat begging to be released. She presses her cheek harder against BB's head and takes in a slow and shaky breath before the first tear falls. It's one is joined by another and then another as she wraps her arms around BB and lets herself weep.

It's unclear how long she sits there for, her eyes puffy and hot from crying but eventually Ben comes out onto the porch. The smell of seasoned beef wafts from the open doorway as Ben stands there staring at her back. She can't look at him now, she doesn't have the strength and it's undetermined whether or not he deserves her tears. She wants to think that he does but how would she know? This thing between them has been defined and analyzed by everyone else, but not by them. So, he's said a few pretty words? So he's kissed her like she's life itself? Maybe he's just really good at manipulating the facts. Addicts are good at that after all aren't they? The minute she thinks it she feels horrible and Ben's voice is there asking her if she needs anything, an ice pack? a cupcake? he'd even gone back to Bormea and picked up a few slices of cheesecake and some brownies.

Why was this so confusing? Surely she wasn't making this all up in her head? The way picked up on her needs, the things that make her happy. She could just ask him, wouldn't that be easier?

Instead she tells him she's ok, that she'll be in in a moment and when the door clicks shut she lets out the heavy rasping breath she'd been holding in. It takes a few minutes to compose herself but soon enough she's scrubbing at her cheeks, lightly, well one cheek really the other is far too tender to touch and she's calling BB inside with her.

The house is filled with the scent of taco seasoning and the sound of James Arthur who has been Rey's most recent vocal obsession. Ben has his back to the door cutting up what look to be orange peppers so he doesn't seem to notice Rey as she slips through the doorway. The scene before her is too much, too endearing. Here is this beautiful man making her one of her favorite meals, he's picked up her favorite treats and he's put on her favorite songs. She can't be here, she can't do this. Her heart aches within her chest as she slips off her shoes and quietly makes her way to the stairs that lead to her bedroom loft. She's almost made it too when one of the stairs creaks beneath her feet. Ben's eyes find her in an instant, taking in her wrecked state of being. Part of her wants to throw herself into his arms and beg for the comfort her soul so desperately needs. Another part of her wants to pretend this isn't happening and disappear into her bedroom and just go to bed. But, Ben doesn't say anything he just watches her. Setting the knife down he wipes his hands on a towel hanging over the handle on the stove door.

When he moves, it's not smooth or calculated like his steps usually are, he's hesitant and questioning. "Tacos will be ready in about ten minutes," he says but he sounds more like a child and less like fierce marine that she knows him to be, "Hope you're hungry," he adds and she feels it again, that clawing burn that rips into her throat making her want to cry all over again. She knows if she opens her mouth, if she dares to try and speak he'll catch it. He'll see the cracks and she doesn't think she could bear that right now. She doesn't want pity, she doesn't want him to think he can't leave if he needs to if he wants to. Instead she just shakes her head and slips up the stairs with BB at her heels.

She can hear him downstairs as he continues to cook. He packs away the cut up veggies and drains the beef before placing it too in a Tupperware container to store it in the fridge. He's cleaning up when Rey locks herself in the bathroom and the pain of it overtakes her. She can't look herself in the mirror, she's too afraid of what she'll see so instead she shuts the door and slides down against it, resting her head on the hollow wood. She stays there a while before she draws herself a bath and slips inside. The warm water feels like a balm against her emotionally weary body. She soaks until her body prunes and then hops in the shower to rinse off and wash her hair. When she's ready to get out, a towel wrapped around her torso she swipes at the fog on her mirror. She's still not ready for the image that stares back at her. Despite all the water and the soap her eyes are still bloodshot and puffy. Her right cheek a mottled bruise of deep purples and reds that creep up into her eye socket and tuck around her nose. There's no way she'll be able to cover this up properly and so texts Amilyn with some story about a migraine and tells her she won't be into work the following day. She has two days off after the fact and surly to god after a couple of icepacks and some light flushing massage she should be able to bring the bruising down substantially. At least to the point that concealer won't make it look like she's trying to hide something.

After brushing her teeth and combing out her hair Rey makes her way back into her bedroom. The downside to a loft-style room is it's hard to ignore the rest of the house. Rey can hear Ben as he busies himself with the fire, bringing logs in from outside, and idly tidying up before he throws a load of laundry in the wash. She can't see him and he can't see her thankful so she crawls in bed on quiet footing and tries to fall asleep.

Her slumber is broken and filled with panic. Her sheets are a mess and her body coated in sweat when she wakes up for the fourth time. It's around three am and the house is eerily quiet. BB is laying at her side snoring away. He hasn't left her since she ascended the stairs in the first place. BB always seems to have a way of knowing what she needs when she needs it. He's always there, always present and warm and just for her, the one true love she's known in her lifetime.

As she lays in bed her mind begins to spin. Questions spill in with half-formed thoughts that make no sense and have no business filling up her mind. Snap and his foolishness, Poe and his accusations, Ben and his silence. How could she have done it again? How could she have allowed herself to become attached to someone who clearly doesn't want her as much as she wants them?

Sleep addled thoughts that make no sense keep her awake. Half-formed ideas that seem wise until she really hashes them out and suddenly she just feels desperate and stupid. She could show him maybe, show him she wants him to stay. Maybe if she gave him a reason, a reason to want her, a reason to be with her they could make it work even if he was deployed. She feels drunk, almost delirious as these thoughts tumble through her mind

It's unclear at which point these thoughts began to take on a life of their own but Rey soon finds herself outside Ben's doorway. He's asleep and the door is open, the light from the moon spilling in through the hallway window illuminating his sleeping form. He's much less graceful when he's unconscious, laying on his back wearing nothing more than a pair of sleep pants, a hand pressed over his chest. He has his head back against her crisp linens, his dark hair spread out around him, his mouth open just slightly. He snores, but not in the way that would be bothersome, its the soft inhalation of air that's both endearing and sweet. Rey traces the line of his lips, full and welcoming as she slips inside the threshold. In her head this is a good idea. In her head this makes sense.

When her knees find the bed which admittedly may be a little too small for a man the size of Ben Solo she expects him to stir. Her weight a divot in the mattress as she creeps up alongside him. His sheets have been pushed away leaving him bare but for his feet where the blankets hang and for a minute Rey wonders if she's going to lose her nerve.

Cupcakes and sprinkles dance through her mind as she reaches out for him, palming him through the front of his sleep pants. She keeps her touch light, softly stroking, almost encouraging as if to coax some life out of his sleeping form. He doesn't wake but shifts, turning his head away, his hand rubbing at his chest. It feels almost wrong to be approaching it in this way but she has to show him she's worth sticking around for. Most men would kill to have a woman wake them up like this wouldn't they?

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows this is one of the stupidest things she could possibly do. Rationally she should leave, go back to her bed and have a civil and frank conversation with him in the morning. Rationally that makes sense. Rey is a rational person so why is she acting so irrationally?

Maybe it's the need to prove her friends wrong. Maybe it's the sexual frustration from being so keyed up for so long. It's hard to say but this absolutely is not a good idea.

Why then can't she stop herself?

Growing a little braver Rey allows her fingers to press just a little firmer, encouraged by the stiffening she starts to feel beneath her hand. She's always been told she's good at this. Then again maybe that's just something men say when they're hoping to get a little more attention. Ben's body though, it's reacting to her touch like he's enjoying it. But isn't this wrong? Is she taking advantage of his kindness? What happens if he's not actually interested in her at all?

No, not with the way he'd kissed her, not with the things he's said. He may not want her the way she wants him but he's definitely interested in something a little more physical. Maybe he just wants a fuck, maybe he's really good at the long game and he's just in this for as much pussy as he can get.

That thought makes her insides ache but if she can just have a piece of that then maybe it'll be enough.

None of this makes any sense. She should leave.

Then he moans and the sound of it seeps into her bones. He sounds so perfect, so breathy but deep as the sheer size of him starts to fill her hand. The outline of him is impressive as she tucks her fingers into the waist of his pants and tugs just a little. It's not enough to completely expose him but it's enough to free the head of his cock. It's half-hard and waiting against his public bone nestled in a thatch of dark coarse curls. Her mind screams at her to abort, this isn't right. Just talk to him. But she needs to prove to him, he needs to see that she can be that girl. The girl, his girl.

Wetting her lips she leans forward and softly allows her tongue to graze the underside. His body shudders at the sensation but she can't stop now. No, finding her courage through his body's response she tugs a little lower until the elastic edge of his pants leaves him exposed completely. That wakes him.

She has her hand cupping the weight of his balls while she works his shaft lightly with the other. Her mouth is stretched wide over the girth of him as she hallows her cheeks and he groans. Sleepy and confused Ben's eyes open and it takes him a few minutes to really grasp what is happening but when he does his body goes rigid.

"Fuck," he groans out as Rey adjusts her jaw and allows her tongue to wriggle against him. Her lips meet her hand as she works them in tandem and Ben's hand is on her shoulder, "Rey - Fuck - Rey what are you? Rey -" still she continues using her tongue to swirl around the tip before she descends on him again, "Re- nggghh - Rey stop." It comes first as a plea, but then a demand and his fingertips feel like they could bruise. "I don't want - " And there it is.

Scandalized Rey pulls away, watching as Ben scrambles to pull himself back into his pants and force himself into a seated position. "Fuck," She sobs as rational thinking settles in around her and the reality of her actions take form before her very eyes.

"Rey, what are you doing?" Ben asks, his voice husky but firm as he reaches out for her but she pulls away as if his touch burns.

Her hands tremble as she wipes the saliva off her chin and holds her hand against her mouth in shock. She's a fool. She's such a god damn fool and her heart aches with the regret of it. It's dark but she can see Ben staring at her wide-eyed and looking for answers. He deserves answers but all she can do is cry. "I-I" she stammers but words seem pointless, "I'm sorry," she offers but it sounds lame even to her as she pushes back and off the bed. Her feet slip from beneath her and her backside hits the floor, hard leaving her to whimper. It's embarrassing, she's so stupid. Why, why, why hammers through her head as she scrambles to her feet and down the hallway.

Ben doesn't come after her and she's not sure if that's a blessing or if it makes the situation worse but when she crawls back into bed her body feels like an empty void. There's nothing left to feel, the shame is gone, the fear is gone but so is everything else.

Sleep comes with the assistance of a pill and when she awakens the next morning that black void is there to greet her. She gets up, goes to the bathroom and can see as she makes her way back to her bed Ben has left a cup of coffee on the counter for her. He however is nowhere to be found. She can't do this today, her face is sore, her mind is a mess and everything in her feels dark and heavy. She can hear BB outside barking after squirrels as they taunt and tease him so Ben must be outside. Good. She doesn't think she can face him anyway. Not after last night, not after this morning. Instead Rey crawls under the covers and lets sleep overtake her. It comes easier this time, swallowing her up in its dark cool embrace.


I'll be honest guys, I struggled with this one a bit. I didn't want to leave it on a depressing note but adding more would leave the chapter too long so this one is coming to you all as a twofer. I wrote this a few different ways and still always came back to the idea of her waking him up like that. It seemed childish and cheap until I wrote it the third time and really kind of got into that headspace. Without getting into the dark and dirty of it all, I wrote from a place of understanding so I hope you get it. You may not like it but I hope you can understand. Anyway, the next chapter will be up very shortly after this one because like I said I hadn't wanted to end it on a negative but the Snap scene flew out of my hands. It's on my list of plot pieces but it was meant to be quick, then Rey wanted to get some shit off her chest and who am I to stop a good rant. Love you all! xo