Later that evening, when their bellies were full with several bowls of stew, and after a few games of bridge (not poker, they'd both agreed on an easier game while they recovered), they settled back into bed. Gin had changed the sheets, apparently when he wasn't looking, so it was a very pleasant surprise for Sousuke when he climbed in between the fresh, clean bedsheets.

It was also a pleasant surprise to see the little sprig of spearmint sitting in a small glass of water on his bedside table. He had to smile at it as the warmth of Gin's reply rushed through him.

Spearmint: 'warmth of sentiment'.

And was that a bit of peppermint he could see, too? His smile widened as he looked closer. Yes. Yes, it was.

His smile softened at that.

He was still admiring the mint leaves when Gin walked into the room carrying an ambrosia flower. Sousuke as always, felt his presence and the silence it brought his mind, and looked up to greet him. His smile broadening into one of his trademarked idiot grins. Well as Kyouka Suigetsu liked to call them, anyway. At every possible opportunity. He could hear her giggling at him now...

But he had a good reason to smile tonight.

Ambrosia. In their language: love returned.

A flower it'd taken years, if not decades, for Gin to offer him the first time.

"Too much?" Gin asked, looking somewhat sheepish.

Sousuke shook his head. "No. it's perfect." he said softly, making Gin's smile turn a little softer, a little shyer. And a hell of a lot more endearing. If that was at all possible, since he found all of Gin's smiles endearing. Even the ones he made when he was being a sarcastic little shit about something. Which was often.

Gin moved around the bed to add the flower to the glass. It was bright and yellow, standing out against the green of the mints. And a perfect colour contrast. Aizen's smile turned tender as he decoded the message.

"Mutual love and sentiments?" he asked.

Gin smiled sweetly as he climbed into bed with him. Laying his head on his lover's chest and snuggling up close to him. "Somethin' like that," Gin murmured. "More like, 'I share your warmth, your sentiments, and your love'."

Aizen smiled and wrapped his arms around his other half. Never more convinced that Gin was his intended Soulmate. "Mm," he agreed, gently kissing Gin's head. "I like that translation better."

Gin smiled at that compliment. "Ah thought ya might."

"You know me well," Aizen smiled, thoroughly warm and content and, dare he say it, happy. If he wasn't careful he might start purring like a cat again in his contentment. And Gin would never let him hear the end of it.

But Gin just smiled. "Just like you know me well."

"Yes," Aizen agreed, just enjoying the warmth, the comfort, the safety Gin provided. Letting his lover's warmth and weight ground him because otherwise he might just float away. Or at least he felt like he might. But his arms were wrapped firmly yet gently around Gin's body, to ensure he wouldn't be going anywhere. And that Gin wouldn't be escaping anywhere either. Not that Gin would. He looked so very comfortable. And he'd already promised to stay by his side until Death parted them.

Aizen smiled softly as he remembered that rainy night, that became their wedding night. How they'd run through the rain, soaked through, laughing, happy, into the little chapel. How they'd woken up the sleeping pastor who'd cheerfully agreed to marry them...

How he'd pledged himself to Gin and only Gin for as long as he lived.

Crushing Gin against him, holding him tight, saying over and over that he loved him.

It had been one of the happiest nights of his life.

A sentiment he knew Gin shared, which just made it even better.

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" Gin asked, gently pulling him out of his thoughts.

"You." Aizen answered. Which was true, though it still made Gin blush that lovely pink.

"And our wedding night." he added. And Gin blushed even pinker. He wondered if he'd ever get tired of seeing that blush. Or if he'd even get a chance to.

Yes, the voice murmured. I wonder if you'll get a chance to. But Aizen shook it away. No. He wouldn't go there. Not tonight. Not if he had any say in it.

"Guess I shoulda known that, huh?" Gin said, laughing a little, and Aizen kissed him again, hugging him tighter.

"Yes, you should," he laughed. "How long have you known me now?"

"Too long."

Aizen laughed again. "Ouch."

"I'm kidding," Gin said gently.

"I know."

"I love you very much."

"I know that, too."

"Do you love me?"

"Always," Aizen answered without hesitation. "You know that."

Gin made a noise of contentment as he snuggled further into Sousuke's arms. "Mmm. Tha's good ta hear," he murmured sleepily. Yawning widely. "Love you too. Forever and always."

Aizen smiled, simply gazing tenderly at his Gin. "Forever and always," he echoed. But by then Gin was already drifting off into the land of sleep. His body already heavier in Sousuke's arms. Leaving him alone with his thoughts, and to wait for when the voice would inevitably stir and use what it'd learned against him.

Nothing could stop it, of course. He'd tried everything. And everything failed.

The voice was like Death. Inevitable and inexorable.

So he lay quietly in bed, holding Gin in his arms, and he waited.

As usual, he didn't have to wait very long. He didn't have to wait very long at all.

Forever and always, the Monster echoed, voice deep and smooth. Are you still quite sure you don't have a weakness, Sousuke? it asked, and all of Aizen's muscles went taut at the question. At all it implied. It made him think again of the Bad Things that happened in The Forest. Grand Fisher. The Living Horror that ensued. Each second of it a nightmare he never wanted to repeat again.

A nightmare that would repeat, now the voice knew what it did.

Because from what I've seen, the voice continued, I think you do. And I think I know exactly. Who. It. Is.

If Aizen was tense before, his whole body was completely rigid now, his arms clutching Gin tightly to him like a vice while he tried not to shake. His hands especially were trembling, and he was grateful that Gin was a heavy sleeper because if not then how in the three worlds was he going to explain this?

How was he going to explain how backed up into a corner he was, with no hope of a way out? Now that the monster inside him knew it had the perfect leverage. The perfect chesspiece to move against him. To call checkmate and win the game. He could almost hear it declaring victory now, whispering 'checkmate, game over Sousuke, looks like I win...'

It had him. It had Gin. And there was no way to make it unknow this information. No way to undo what happened in The Forest.

No possible way in any of the three worlds that he could unlove Gin.

And no set of circumstances in which he ever would.

And the Monster inside him knew this. It knew this very well. So there was nothing at all Aizen could do about it. Nothing he could say or do to argue it. He was beaten, and he knew it. All he could hope to do now was keep Gin well enough away so he wouldn't get hurt. So he would be safe. If such a state even existed in the first place.

Tomorrow, he promised himself. Tomorrow I get Gin out.

But he knew, holding Gin right now, just how hard doing that would be. Letting Gin go. It might even be impossible.

And yet... and yet he had to try. For Gin's sake.

He closed his eyes and breathed out shakily. Tomorrow, he repeated. Tomorrow.

But the Monster, the hellish voice lurking in his head, just laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

Liar.

Sousuke swallowed. Cold despite the warmth of the room and the bed. He couldn't even argue, even if he wanted to. Because he knew it was right.

And everything was so much worse now than ever before.

END STORY


a/n: hooray! It's done! *collapses into a heap* this was a lot of work and effort.

Thank you for reading! (If indeed you made it this far). And i hope you like the fridge horror at the end :) this one's been a real ride and I had a lot of fun. Big thanks to everyone who reviewed as chs got released.

Once again, any feedback at all is appreciated. "This sucks","cool story bro needs more unicorns", "how dare you break me like this you heartless monster"... all appreciated. I have two similar stories like this (Smoke and Without a Trace) and it'd be nice to know if it's worth posting them once they are completed. Reviews keep us writers writing. And enable more fics :)

Anyway. It's done. I'm done. I need rest now. But I hope you enjoyed this one. It's been a blast. Hope I haven't scarred you too badly. And hopefully I'll see you again in my next story.

I'm off now to sleep very heavily and decompress. And go caravaning in the lovely Cat Returns fandom with my Magus AU. I have earned it.