AN: Hello again my lovely readers! I'm sorry for the wait and I'm more sorry for the content of this chapter... Anyways i wanted to let you know that i will be putting this story on a tiny hiatus for really a bunch of reasons. My health is one of them but it is not the most important reason. I have started up another story called Devil's Breath and it is currently dominating my mind. I cannot find motivation to write on anything other than that. I wish i could steer my feeling of motivation and divide it more fairly but i sadly can't. This story is not abandoned though! But updates will be rather slow... i hope you are all fine with that though and if you are not, well i can't blame you. Also, i have finally gotten a job, which will start next week on monday! So i am super stoked about that but it also means that my hands will be full for quite some time. Anyways, wish me luck because i sure as hell need it and please watch out for COVID-19!
I have some recommendations surrounding that. Wash your hands before you eat something and after you have been outside. DO NOT touch your face while you are on public transport, that involves, mouth, eyes and nose, also avoid growded places. The virus will be very dangerous if you already have lung problems or are a smoker, so keep that in mind. Also, just because someone doesn't show symptoms, doesn't mean that they don't carry it and are perfectly capable of spreading it towards someone else more vulnerable. Children are very good at spreading viruses, and this one is no exception. COVID-19 can and most likely will affect everyone, even young people have to be careful because it is still more deadly than a normal flu. But the elderly are the ones that we have to watch out for the most. Sorry for scaring you with this information but it is very important right now. Please, stay safe. Anyways, now that's that over with, happy reading to ya all!
Chapter 15
Poison
*Trigger warning: Mentions of rape and other explicit content
Her head weighed heavy, her heartbeat lagged and her memory felt hazy. She must have blacked out she decided, she couldn't be sure for how long. She blinked, dazed and only half awake as she took in her surroundings. She was in her room, face down on her bed. She was naked. She felt a wet trail down her thighs. A cold hand touched her bare back, caressing her skin. She shivered and slowly turned around. The hand belonged to her brother.
Kamui looked somehow different in her eyes. She knew he was beautiful, much more stunning than herself. His sweaty skin gleamed like pearls in the moonlight, his eyes were like large shadows and his hair looked a tad bit darker. He smiled at her, baring his white teeth. She looked away from his prodding gaze, she couldn't bear to meet his eyes. Kagura glanced down and inspected the dried blood between her legs. It didn't hurt anymore but still, somehow, he had hurt her.
"Y-you hurt me..." she whispered out, almost to herself.
Kamui leaned down over her small, shivering form. He warmed her up as he enclosed her in his strong arms. She was lifted up from the bed and put in his lap. She was struck with a rampaging flashback from her childhood. She had been maybe six or five and she had been seated just like this, in the same position. Although, obviously for more innocent reasons. As more and more memories invaded her mind, clouding her judgement in a bittersweet sorrow, she reached out and touched his braid. She used to gnaw on it when she was little.
"I think you liked it, little rabbit," he said in her ear as his hands closed in around the space between the end of her hips and the beginning of her thighs.
She wished she had some clothes on, like himself. But as he started to grind her hips into his own, she instantly felt warmer. The hard member between his legs pressed up against her core and it seemed to grow sturdier with each roll of his hips.
"You shouldn't call m-me that," Kagura breathed out as she unknowingly arched her back.
She was already wet again and aching to feel him inside her. Her muscles contorted and she felt more and more hot. Her breasts swelled and her nipples hardened. Her hips moved in sync with his own and she immediately covered her mouth when he caught a nipple between his teeth.
"Why not?" he mumbled out against her pale breast, his hand clawing her backside.
"Be-because, you used to call me that when we were ch-children..." she stammered into his neck as she buried her head there, as if she was trying to hide from him.
"And you don't want me to remind you of that time, yes?" Kamui began as his mouth left her breast to suck on her neck.
"Because you don't want to be reminded of the fact that i'm your big brother, do you?" His words foamed over her bruised neck, like his hot breath. He was right, he was so right.
"Don't even bother answering that, i know already. You don't want to be reminded of how sinful this is, rabbit, of how wrong and perverse this is," he continued and his hips suddenly jerked up in hard thrust, striking right at her clit.
Air left her lungs and she gasped and stiffened under his touch. "You don't want to admit that you're a dirty little slut, who loves to be taken by her own brother," he hissed in her ear, his hand sneaking down to stroke her wetness.
"Even if i were to brutally rape you, you would still come, because you just love my cock, don't you rabbit?" Kamui snickered, his voice was a low, rough sound that made her eyes roll back.
His fingers massaged her clit and she felt a tear escape her shut eyelids. She hated how her body and mind reacted to his words, to his touches, he played her like an instrument. She threw her head back and moaned softly, grinding into his hand. He was saying such sinful, horrible, vile things and it made her even more out of it. Before she knew what was happening, she had unknowingly whispered out a broken plea.
"D-don't say th-that..." she meekly uttered, as more tears streamed down her red cheeks.
His fingers left her clit and entered her cavern instead. Two long fingers that curled themselves into a "come hither" motion, as they pumped in and out of her. Kagura gasped and moaned way too loud. Once again, she stuffed her face in the crook of his neck, grinding down upon his fingers like there was no tomorrow. She couldn't stop herself.
"Say it," Kamui hissed into her hair, "Say you want me to rape you."
His fingers quickened their pace and she was nearing her peak but she wasn't quite there yet. "N-no way-" she cried out, her hands clawing at his back.
"Do it," he commanded as his fingers slowed down, purposefully teasing her.
"Kamui, p-please don't m-make me," she almost sobbed out, her hips grinding down on his hands harder, searching for the lost friction.
"Do you want my cock?" he asked her, his hand fisting her hair and dragging her head backwards, exposing her neck.
Kagura bit down on her lip and tried to keep her mouth shut but it was futile as he once again, quickened the pace of his fingers.
"Yes," she whispered out, brokenly as she rode his hand.
She felt like she'd just betrayed herself. She couldn't fathom how or why she'd just given in to him. Kamui took away both her strength and her morals it seemed.
"Then you have to say it," Kamui asserted as he bit down on her neck.
Kagura wanted to hide, she wanted to disappear. But most of all, she wanted to have something big, long and hard inside of her, something that could fill her up and finally make her come undone. Worst of all, she wanted it to be him, she wanted Kamui to fill her like he'd done before. To have his undivided attention. Right now, she felt unbearably empty. Her red lips parted and another moan rose in her throat as he sucked on her skin, biting down on it.
"I-i want you to... r-rape me," she forced out, feeling the shame of it, twisting her tummy in a hard knot.
Why would he want to hear those horrendous words from her? Was it about dominance, about control? Or was it about humiliation? She didn't know and she wasn't sure if she even wanted to know. She heard him undoing his pants and soon enough felt his warm rock-hard member against her thigh. Kagura cried out in pleasure and in pain as he entered her in one swift motion. She arched her back and he had a tight grip on her hips as he angled her body to reside on the bed on her back.
He was on top of her, pounding into her and it felt as if he was going deeper and deeper with each thrust. In the end, he was so deep that she could literally feel him taking up space in her lower abdomen, filling her up and continuously slamming into her cervix. She whimpered at the sensory overload.
"I-it's too deep," she gasped out, sobbing from the pain.
His only answer was to grab her legs and place them on his shoulders. It was the most embarrassing position so far and she covered her face with her hands. He rammed into her harder and harder, he seemed to get even more access to her body in this pose and she didn't know how to keep quiet. Frantically, she grabbed his hand that was at her hips and placed it firmly over her mouth. He turned his head and bit down on her ankle, groaning into her skin.
He was so good, too good. She felt like she might get drunk on him if she wasn't careful, maybe she already was. Sweat lined their bodies and the room smelled of sex. His blue eyes met hers and he stared hard at her, drinking her up like a leech. The hand over her mouth tightened, her jaw ached slightly. He leaned down to her and her legs stretched themselves out even more. He took down one of them and placed it around his waist instead. The other one was kept in its place, his nails digging into it.
His hand left her mouth and she gasped and moaned, heaving in air she didn't know she needed. He kissed her hard, bruising her even more, biting her lip and prying her mouth open for him to explore. She came in that moment, her muscles clamped down on him and her legs spasmed, her toes curling themselves in pleasure. She was so wet, she must have completely ruined his pants by now.
Her orgasm kept coming and he didn't stop, didn't slow down. He grunted and moaned into her mouth and she did the same, his tongue ate up her screams of ecstasy. Her fingers found his collar and she determinedly tore it open. It fell to the side, revealing his tones muscles. Her hands were all over him, her nails, dragging themselves down his chest to his abdomen.
She undid as much as she could of his changshan and before long her lips found his neck. He growled at her antics but let her play with him nonetheless. She bit down at his flesh, leaving hickeys of her own. Kagura wanted to stay like this forever but she knew it was impossible. Even if it was impossible, it didn't mean that she wouldn't damn well live in the moment.
She decided to do just that and made no act of resistance as he took her over and over again. In any way, shape or form he wanted, she didn't complain because she had nothing to complain about. Teeth marks covered her thighs, bruises clad her skin and sweat made her hair stick to her forehead. She lost track of time and almost forgot where she was and who she was with. It was a blissful forgetfulness. In the end, she was in his lap again, meeting his thrusts with her own. Riding him as best she could with her little experience.
It didn't matter though, as his strong hands gripped her firm backside, continuously lifting her up and down and ramming himself deep into her. She hadn't kept track on how many times she'd climaxed already but she couldn't help but softly mewl as she came once more. A silent scream sat in her throat and she buried her head in the crook of his warm, sweaty neck. Her muscles tensed up and she arched her back into his moving hips.
The pleasure made her limbs ache with sweet endorphins. One of his hands left her rear and gripped her neck. A firm, steady grip that made her literally choke on her breath. He pushed her down on the bed, slamming into her from above and holding her in place. It became harder and harder to breathe. She needed air, especially now seeing as he was ramming into her at a faster, rougher pace.
"K-Kamui, it's too t-tight," she forced out, hoarsely as she gripped his hand, nails digging into the white flesh.
It was as if he hadn't heard her and she searched his eyes to find them nearly unrecognisable. His pupils had dilated to the point where they nearly drowned the blue in blackness. He looked scary to her, he didn't seem like her brother. The brother she thought she knew. The pain around her neck grew to new levels and she gasped and gasped, hopelessly. A hazy sort of fuzziness engulfed her head, making her feel light and dizzy. He slammed into her harder and she barely made no sound, she couldn't.
Black dots started to dance in front of her eyes and she tried again and again to blink them away. They seemed to just multiply in numbers. She tried to see beyond the black dots but Kamui was barely there anymore, she could only make out his red hair. Why did she love this violent brute of a man? The pain in her neck had dulled down somewhat, she almost didn't feel it anymore. Kagura knew she could probably throw him off of her if she gathered her strength... but she was unwilling to do any of the sort. She felt frozen beneath his muscular form.
He went deeper and deeper inside of her and she squeezed her eyes shut. In that odd moment a quote came to the forefront of her mind. "Children weaned on poison, considers hurt a comfort". It was staggering, breathtaking. She recognised those words but their origin escaped her at the moment. She could literally feel the truthfulness of that sentence, deep in her bones and she repeated it over and over again in her head.
It became a familiar mantra that stuck with her. She opened her eyes and tried to focus on Kamui. He had hurt her many times. physically, mentally, emotionally. The very sight of him hurt her, the very thought him marred her with regrets. Yet ever since she was a little girl, she kept coming back for more. She couldn't stand the silent treatment. He hurt her with one hand and loved her with the other, it had always been like that. She knew now why she had a twisted sense of pain and of love.
In her eyes, it could as well have been the same thing. It made her think of Sadaharu. Sadaharu bit her more times than she could count in the beginning, yet she stayed by the little beast's side. She let it slide, she let it be and accepted it. It had just felt natural to have love delivered to her with a side of pain. To earn her love through pain. It was a recurring pattern in her life, it had always been there. A double-edged sword.
She had grown used to it, ever since she was a child. Truly it had all started with Kamui. Almost everything did. He did hit her when she was smaller, to teach her a lesson, to prove a point. He always made it look and feel as if she was in the wrong though. Like she had started it all and deserved a punishment. Then, as she begged for his forgiveness, he would embrace her and shower her with kisses. Now that she thought of it, his embrace had been too strong and his kisses, too hard, too much teeth. They hurt as well, yes, even his love was hurtful.
As much could be deduced by the way he fucked her. Intimacy with him was painful, yet she kept coming back for more. In the midst of her racing thoughts, another mysterious quote came to light. "A kiss with a fist is better than none". Oh yeah, somehow, she could agree with that. Affection was what she yearned for and when that didn't happen, violent outbursts would be much better than a cold shoulder. She was starved for attention, for her brother's attention. She always was.
Kagura was jolted back to reality with a hard slap across her face. She welcomed it and immediately reached up to her numb cheek. Taking in large gulps of air, she looked around, blinking rapidly.
"You blacked out," Kamui's voice cut into her ears, as he sat on the edge of the bed.
His clothes were put on and neatly tied into place. He had his hand on her thigh. "Sorry for choking you, I didn't know you would lose consciousness," he said and she knew he wasn't sorry at all.
Kagura muttered something inaudible, even to herself, and slowly dragged herself upwards. Her fingers grazed her neck and she winced in pain. She would have big, blooming bruises there, she just knew it. It still hurt to breathe and to swallow but she did so anyway. Pain wasn't such a big deal anyway. She picked up her blanket and threw it around her small, injured body. She felt as if she'd just been in a hectic, bloody fight. Her body was bruised, worn-out, scarred, bloody. She truly was injured, in every sense of the world.
"Y-you can't handle me like some sort of toy, I'm going t-to break," she whispered out, accusingly as she raised her eyes to the back of his head.
Kamui rolled his shoulders before turning sideways and meeting her stare. "No you won't, you're a Yato," he simply said, a lopsided grin coating his lips.
She wanted to bash his teeth in. "That doesn't matter! I can still break no matter what I am," she fired back, hissing at him because she didn't want Gin-chan to wake.
Without thinking, her knuckle struck out like a viper and hit his chin. Hard enough to throw his head sideways with a noticeable crack. Now, they were even. She expected him to hit her back and prepared herself for it but... it didn't happen. Kamui stroked his jaw and laughed at her. She tensed up like an angry cat and slapped her hand over his snickering maw. "Shhh, I don't need us to get caught right now," she hissed at him through her clenched teeth.
His only answer was to bite the side of her hand, not hard enough to cause any real pain but hard enough for her to remove her hand. When he'd finally left her alone, ignoring her questions as to why he'd even showed up on earth in the first place, she was left to her own thoughts. Kagura couldn't stand her own buzzing mind, that endlessly wanted to focus on the wrong things.
So, naturally, she banged her head against the wall until the room seemed to spin around her. Until she couldn't keep her balance and fell into a heap of limbs on the bed. Until everything blurred and she fell asleep.
She dreamt of the Sandman, a great figure, risen from the desert, a sand dune that was alive. She was in his lands. His territory was that of the great desert, the desert of the sleeping mind. Here, he had dominion, dominion of sleep, dominion of slumbering dreams and hopes laid in comatose. He always had and always would. The Sandman's maw opened wide, swirling with gleaming sandcorns. The Sandman didn't have eyes, it didn't have a nose or even ears. Only a big mouth, as big as that of a snake. She made no resistance, as it devoured her whole, alive. Sand got into her eyes, her nose, her ears and mouth. She dreamt about falling asleep, falling away into slumber. And she did, she truly did. Again and again, surrounded by sand.
