Anna sat on the deck, squinting as the wind whipped up and carried a hint of chill with the sand with which it tried to pelt her. She just burrowed deeper into her blanket and smiled when John took the chair next to her. "How was your session with Doctor Crawley today?"

"Enlightening." John played with the head of his cane. "Very… Informative."

"Alright then, keep your secrets." Anna folded her arms in the blanket to tug it even tighter. "I'll keep mine too then."

"No fair."

"I asked first."

"Fine." John took a breath, "I told her that I didn't know what to get you for our first anniversary."

"I'm sure you'll think of something." Anna twisted in her seat, taking hold of John's hands. "I do know what we can get each other for Christmas."

"Really?"

Anna nodded. "I think it's time."

"You're sure?"

"I've been talking about it with Doctor Crawley for awhile now and… I think it's time for us to spread Hope's ashes."

John kept silent a moment before nodding. "Maybe it is."

"We've already left everything else behind." Anna's fingers tightened over his. "It's time for us to close out that chapter completely. To leave it all to the past and start fresh. We… We can't hold onto her forever."

"And you want to do it here?"

Anna nodded. "We've already sold the house. I resigned my position and you quit yours. We're living on some… Very nice settlements and there's a chance for more treasure hunting in my future…" She quieted. "We need to become new people John. People who aren't as burdened by the past. We need to let the weights go or we'll drown. We'll-"

"Stay underwater?" Anna gave another nod and John kissed her hands. "Then I think we should. Christmas Day we'll go out into the water and we'll spread her ashes. Just you, me, Hope, and the ocean."

"I'd like that." Anna squeezed John's hands. "And for our anniversary, I think we should give each other the gift of honesty."

"How'd you mean?"

"Something else I talked about with Doctor Crawley." Anna urged John closer and he carefully maneuvered his chair to sit right alongside hers for their hands could stay intertwined. "She thinks that we've kept things back from one another. That we're afraid to tell each other the whole of it because we've come so far and we're afraid to open up those wounds again."

"I could see that." John's hand maneuvered around Anna's to hold her better as they stared out at the ocean. "And she's been telling me the same thing."

"So you agree?"

"I think I don't want to wait until our anniversary to be honest with you." John's fingers rearranged on Anna's. "But if that's the present you want then…"

"You can give it to me early."

"Alright then." John took a breath, "It was a shit show from the get-go."

"I'd expect."

"They shot Blake and got me in the shoulder. Bricker, for some reason, thought I was the one with all the intel because their inside man, Thomas Barrow, told them that."

"Who's Thomas Barrow?" Anna frowned, leaning toward John. "You've never talked about him before."

"Mid-level guy."

"And he betrayed you all?"

"It was… A lot of mid-level failures but he gave up my name and so Bricker took me. It's how I got shot in my knee and it shattered the kneecap." John rubbed his other hand over the spot. "It'll never fully heal but I had a pretty good doctor in Tripoli. He wrote you a note for me."

"I still have it." Anna smiled at him, "And someday, I might even let you read it, just so you know who I'll leave you for."

"Lucky Doctor Ghaffarian." John grinned at Anna before kissing the back of her hand. "But you'd have to fight off his wife and two daughters… Wherever Blake hid them in this soggy country."

"With Bricker away and the Libyan government hunting down the militia members, I'm sure there's a chance they can come out of hiding eventually." Anna nodded, "I can wait until then. I'm a very patient person."

"I know you are." John settled back into his seat. "When they grabbed me, they put a bag over my head that smelled like manure. It's what I smelled when they put that oxygen mask over my face. It's what I smell in my nightmares."

"Is that why you always keep the windows rolled up whenever we drive past farms?" Anna paused, "Why you can't go see the place where I grew up?"

"As much as I used to love farms and sheep…" John shuddered, "I can't smell it without remembering. I can't even go into a hardware store."

"Home improvement's out then." Anna ran her thumb over the back of his. "And, after that?"

"There was a truck, a long drive, and some bag changes. All of them were used burlap and I had the indentations in my face for a few days. But that's when they questioned me, in Libya. It was… Physical and I couldn't tell them anything since I didn't know anything. But that was just the start." John took a breath, "I spent hours in dark rooms and then they'd flood it with light, play loud music, and soak me with water before bringing in aircons to freeze me out. It's why I can't take temperature extremes anymore. I don't even like fireplaces."

"But out here's it's not warm." Anna used her head to motion around them. "I'm not wearing this blanket as a fashion statement."

"It's different outside. I can breathe out here but inside…" John shook his head. "I can't stand small spaces or the dark anymore."

"Hence why we're always keeping the bathroom light on?" John nodded and Anna shrugged, "We could find some cooler nightlights you know. They make them for Star Wars and Harry Potter and some creepier ones."

"You want a nightlight?"

"You mean you don't want to have an old doll's head creepily shining lights through its empty eyes at you?"

John shuddered, "Now I've got something else to be afraid of."

"Sorry." Anna tried to move closer and then huffed. John scooted sideways and she managed to get herself onto his left side, conscious of his right leg. "Much better, thank you."

"I'm glad I could make you comfortable." John leaned back and Anna followed him, supposed on his chest. "But after Doctor Ghaffarian patched me up the best he could, and wrote you the letter, he offered to… To help me die."

"He what?" Anna pushed back to see John better. "Why?"

"Because he knew what was ahead and he thought it would be a mercy to help me out of it." John shook his head, "I wouldn't do it. Sometimes, when I was held captive, I thought maybe I'd made a mistake. Because then I'd think about you and the thought of getting back to you was worth all of it."

Anna shook her head, "Nothing's worth what you went through."

"Maybe that's not the right way to say it." John took a breath, holding Anna's hand to smooth his fingers over her skin. "It's that… I'd have endured any of it if it meant I could get back to you."

"I'm glad you did." Anna tucked her head under John's chin, as they lay back on the chair. "I couldn't have faced life without you."

"Me either." John kissed the top of her head. "But after it was all over… It still felt real to me. I thought I was still there and I couldn't get out of my head. I couldn't put it all together and I couldn't escape it."

"I know." Anna wrapped closer to him. "But you can now."

"I have fewer nightmares but there are still a lot of things I can't do anymore. Or, at least, not for right now." John reached over for his cane and held it up, flipping it between his fingers for a second. "This is pretty much permanent."

"I think it makes you very debonair." Anna kissed his cheek. "And it makes it so you can't run away from me."

"I can hobble pretty quickly these days."

"You can." Anna looked out at the ocean, "It's too bad we keep coming here in the winter. Otherwise I'd take you swimming. A gimpy leg wouldn't stop you there but it's far too cold to swim now."

"You forget, I was in the SBS. We swam in sub artic temperatures and I survived that." John shivered, "But if there's an option to opt out then I'll wait for summer please and thank you."

"Wouldn't want to cause any shrinkage."

"No, nothing like that." John sighed, "I think that's everything."

"Everything that happened?"

"All the important stuff. Everything else is just detail. Detail that I'm trying to forget because it's not helpful."

"That's very responsible of you."

"It's the only way to heal." John nuzzled into Anna's hair. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What would you have to be honest about if you've already told me what happened to you?"

"Not much I guess." Anna shrugged, "But there is the story of the treasure hunt I went on and the money I got by finding an old Persian wreck. Or the fact that I used your friend Henry to help me get pictures off the DarkNet that tracked you down. But those are all details."

"They sound better than mine."

"I wasn't overly kind to your friend Blake." Anna cringed, "Or an Embassy official in Tripoli but that's no never mind now."

"I'm sure whoever he or she is, they're nothing to you now and they're nothing to us." John let his fingers trail over Anna's arm, raising the hairs under the blanket. "They're not important to us."

"That's not entirely true." Anna moved to sit sideways, her legs hanging over John's right so most of her weight stayed to the left. "Because I've been following the news, to see if there was ever anything about Green."

John stiffened under her and swallowed, "And?"

"And his body was finally found." The weight on Anna's soul lifted in a second as she watched the relief spread over John's face. "It took them some time to identify him but about… Maybe a week after Hope died, Dr. Hughes contacted me. Said they'd found the body because there were some women who finally reported him for assault. Turns out I wasn't the only one and he was… Rather infamous in the ports he visited."

"You weren't the only one?"

"No." Anna sighed into John, wrapping her arm around him. "And I don't think I'll tell anyone I was now."

"No?"

"He's dead and there's nothing I could say to any authority to get more justice than that." Anna shrugged against John. "There won't even be an inquiry so I can finally let it all go."

"We can both let a lot of things go." John tugged at her arm. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Now?"

"I wouldn't have asked for later." John urged Anna up. "Come on. A walk'll do us good and my physical therapist says I need to stretch the muscles."

"Don't come to me with your personal problems." Anna shoved playfully at his chest but John trapped her as he rotated out of his seat to grab his cane. "It's cold, John. I just want to go inside and-"

"Bring the blanket with you and grab another if you need to." John tugged her hand. "It won't be far. Remember, I'm a gimp now."

"Fine." Anna let her head hang back, pouting as she stumped after John. "But I won't like a minute of it. I'll complain the whole way."

"You already are."

They took the back stairs to the beach and walked along the boardwalk, careful of John's cane between the slats. Anna tucked herself into John's side, holding to his left arm, and kept pace with him. "There is a benefit to your gimpy leg you know?"

"What's that?"

"It keeps me in step with you, Gigantor."

"You never complained about keeping pace with me before." John winked at Anna. "I mean, you always managed to keep me on my toes."

"If you're talking about the bedroom-"

"Not just that but it is a contributing factor." John paused, motioning them toward a bench. "It's not something we've discussed lately."

"Because your stamina's not what it used to be?" Anna nudged her elbow into his side. "We're already sitting down and we've barely started our walk."

"I can't just leave this anywhere." John hooked his cane over the back of the bench and removed his shoes. "And there's nothing wrong with my stamina."

"I'm sure it's all fine." Anna removed her shoes as well and followed him out onto the sand. "And you're right, we've not discussed it."

"Not that I've been counting, or anything, but it's been almost a year since we last had sex and while there are a number of mitigating factors I'll just say that I'd prefer if we could find a way to put that back on the list."

"Are you asking if we can have sex?"

"I thought it'd be polite." John intertwined their fingers as they walked toward the ocean. "I know you've been through a lot and we've… We've been through a lot. But I think it's something to consider."

"I have actually considered it and I agree." Anna brought them to sit down in the sand. "I don't think we're completely whole until we're back to the way we were. Back to doing the things we used to do."

"I disagree." John shook his head, shaking their hands to bring Anna's to kiss. "I think we'll be completely whole when we're making something better. We'll never be back to how we were."

"Did Doctor Crawley help you realize that?"

"You did. But Doctor Crawley helped me work it all out too." John shifted in the sand, "We get to start over Anna."

"I'd hope so since we're basically homeless now." Anna waved her hand back at the holiday house. "Once the season starts we'll be out of that."

"Then I've got a surprise for you." John adjusted on the sand and fell backward, sending a spray of it into the air. Anna covered herself with the blanket to avoid the falling particles and only peeked over the top after a second.

"Tell me when you're done making a mess."

"You've no heart." John dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone. It took him a second to unlock and swipe open before handing it to Anna. "There, that's what I was going to show you, cruel woman."

"Baby." Anna took the phone and frowned at the photo. "Are these from when you were in Nice?"

"Yes and no." John got back to sitting upright and pointed to the phone. "That's our new home."

Anna's jaw fell open slightly. "You… You bought the house in Nice?"

"A very nice old lady wanted to spend more time with her grandchildren near Marseilles and said she wanted to sell. Since we're both living in wealth, at the moment, I decided to take the chance to get the house before someone bought it as their third holiday home or something."

"And what will we do in Nice?"

"Anything we want." John shrugged, "I do have the skills to actually be an auditor so I could do that."

Anna snorted, "I don't think I could take that."

"I'll buy a bunch of short sleeved button-downs, some really awkward glasses, and a pocket protector. I'll even coordinate my pens."

"No, no, no," Anna stood, handing John back his phone. "I think we need to reconsider the idea of divorce."

"Come on." John tugged Anna back down and she joined him on the sand. "I was kidding. Not about being an auditor but about the pocket protector."

"And the shirts?"

"And the shirts." John nodded, "Although I do need glasses."

"I'm picking them out." Anna raised a finger in warning to him and John nodded, tucking his phone away.

"I'd want them to be sexy, by the way, something that'll make you want to seduce me any time I wear them."

"Hot professor, I like it." Anna purred for a moment. "Although I'm pretty sure that'll be taking my job."

"You'll be the hot professor for real." John let his fingers dance up Anna's arm. "You'll have an office that overlooks the sea and I'll visit you when you're working late one night. The lights'll all be dim and you'll be exhausted at the stupidity of your students."

"Sounds true so far."

"And then I'll lift you onto your desk and run my fingers over your legs until I managed to get off the lovely business trousers you're wearing and your knickers before I used them to pad my knees when I put your legs over my shoulders and go down on your until you've made a mess all over your desk."

"And then what?" Anna's breathing quickened and she noted the dilation in John's eyes. "What'll you do then?"

"I hadn't decided if I wanted to sit in your chair, so every time you had to conference with a student in your office you remembered riding me there, or having you on the desk so every time you graded papers you'd have to remember me leaning over you." John edged closer to her, "Which would you prefer Anna?"

"I'd prefer that you take me back to our borrowed bedroom, right now, and strip us both naked before I risk getting sand where I don't want it."

They managed to get back to the bench but just held their shoes in their hands. Even with John's leg lagging just a little behind, the electric sensations in Anna's body did not stall. Just holding his hand and knowing what they promised was enough for her to keep going through the sliding glass door of the house.

Once through it though, Anna put a hand on John's chest to stop him. Any time he tried to help her she paused until he dropped his hands and let Anna leave their sand speckled clothing on the wood floor as she walked them backward toward the bedroom. Each step saw another piece of fabric lay a trail like breadcrumbs until only their underwear remained. Even John's cane was left on the door handle as Anna pushed John onto the bed.

He bounced on it slightly and Anna paused, waiting for his reaction. His eyes met hers and he extended a hand toward her. "I wouldn't do this on the sofa."

"It's where you've been sleeping."

"It's stiffer than this, true, but," Their hands clasped and John sat up as Anna stood between his legs. "I'm not letting our first time in almost a year be on a sofa."

"If the bed's too much like a marshmallow-"

"Then I'll not have to worry about cushioning my knee." John's fingers moved from Anna's hands to her sides and stroked along her abdomen before holding her in place and kissing at the scar there. "Let's have this moment."

Anna leaned over him, her hands framing his face, and kissed him. They moved slowly as there was nothing and no one to hurry them. Even the insistent memories of how they spent their last weeks at the same house were distant thoughts. Thoughts to entice and incite but not to interrupt.

John's hands ran over Anna's body, his slightly more calloused skin caressing her smoother sides to dip into her knickers. With a wiggle of her hips and the help of his hands, both pausing a second to exchange giggles, they got her knickers to the ground so Anna could step out of them. The movement put her hands on his shoulders for support and Anna maneuvered to take John's lips with hers again as his fingers ran over her.

They shivered together. Textures and sensations they only remembered now forged new paths. New memories sparked and replaced the ones darkened by time and tide. And when Anna ground her hips against John's insistent fingers, her teeth catching his bottom lip to tug at it before letting her tongue move inside his mouth, his thumb pressed against her clit. It only took a few more twists of his wrist and a crook to his fingers to bring Anna crying out into their kiss.

She broke from him, gasping for air, and let her gelatinous arms move as John unclipped her bra to leave her standing naked between his legs. Anna shivered slightly under John's unabashed perusal but stroked her hands down his chest to snap the elastic of his boxers. "Fair is fair."

"Yes it is." John leaned back, helping Anna remove the remaining impediment, and cried out when Anna's hand stroked over him before twisting slightly. "Judas H. Roosevelt Priest!"

"Just making sure you're ready." Anna's other hand still sat on John's chest, right above his heart, and she used the leverage of her position to push him back onto the bed so he bounced slightly. "Because I am."

"Are you about to have your way with me, Mrs. Bates?"

"Yes I am." Anna straddled his legs, ensuring her weight stayed slightly to the left. "And please keep saying that."

"That you're ready?"

"No," Anna shook her head, moving her hair over one shoulder to keep it out of her face as she leaned over John to kiss him again. "Call me 'Mrs. Bates'."

"Fetish?"

"It's my name." Anna's hands raked down John's chest as she sat up and lifted onto her knees to position herself. "And I want you to be the one to wear it out."

She sheathed him in a second and barely managed to keep her eyes open long enough to watch John's roll back into his head. Starting slowly, conscious of the adjustments she had to make with rises and falls until her body stretched to take all of John in again, Anna rolled her hips. For a moment she worried that John died of the shock of the action, since he did not move, but when his hands settled on her hips he thrust up. Small motions, at first, as if testing the waters. But soon they found a rhythm together and Anna gave over to it.

The benefit of a bed with better springs was not only a lack of groan with their movements but also an added buoyancy. They rocked and rolled into one another and Anna vaguely recalled the motion of the boat so long ago. The boat at the house they would now share.

Her grin caught John's attention and he slowed, his fingers loosening their hold as his brow furrowed. But Anna shook her head and moved one of John's hands from her hips to her breasts. He practically leered at her and lifted up to take her breast with his lips while his other hand left her hip to press and rub at her clit.

They came together. Their bodies overwhelmed with the pleasure and sensations so long denied them. And the bed received them with a slight bounce that had Anna laughing into the comforter.

She pushed it out of the way to look at John, reaching over to push a loose lock of hair off his forehead. "Hey."

"Hey." John kissed her palm and closed his eyes. "I'm going to take a moment to rest my eyes."

"Okay." Anna smiled, her fingers running through his hair as John's body settled and his breathing deepened. "You rest your eyes."

Watching him as the light outside darkened, the colors on the horizon deepening until they all sank to black. She reached over to turn on the lights next to the bed but otherwise spent her time watching John sleep. Shifting the comforter over them, Anna watched him until John's eyes opened.

"Did I fall asleep?"

"You did."

"On this bed?" John shook his head, adjusting their position got put them closer to the headboard. "That's not possible."

"If you're exhausted enough you'll sleep on a bed." Anna laughed, tucking herself closer to John. "I guess I'll need to exhaust you more often."

John snorted, running his hand over his face. "If you're up to the challenge then I give you leave to exhaust me as often as you deem fit."

"Really?"

"Really." John nodded, shrugging into his pillow. "But I don't know if you can. I mean, it'll be a trial."

"Oh ye of little faith." Anna's hand reached under the comforter to wrap around John's rising erection. She squeezed slightly and John bit as his lip, his head sinking slightly into the pillow. Anna dipped her head next to his ear to whisper to him. "I think you were saying something about a challenge."

"Don't…" John groaned as Anna moved the comforter out of the way to kiss her way down his chest. "No, you'll…"

"What?" Anna paused, her tongue darting out to run over John's arousal. "What'll I do John?"

"You'll make me come."

"Then I guess you'd better do something about that." Anna sucked at his head before John's hands gripped her arms.

It took less than a second for him to turn them, landing Anna on her back. They froze, the bounce of the bed countering the tension of the moment, but when Anna's leg bent over John's hip to bring him closer their kiss eased all worries. It allowed John the time to play his hands over her until Anna writhed and then, with a final kiss, to draw back and paint her body with nips and licks until he landed between her legs.

Anna's back arched and she almost yanked hair from John's scalp but it did not stop his mouth. With the light from the bedside lamps painting odd shadows over them, Anna only caught the glint in John's eyes as he ran his tongue over her before using his fingers in concert to urge her over the bed. She caught sight of his hips jerking slightly as his actions affected him almost as much as they did her. But when he put one of her legs over his shoulder to open her further, Anna lost all hold on reality and succumbed to the pleasure John gave her.

Pleasure that almost distracted her from the sensation of John running over her. But the heat and the quiver of his body almost locked with hers brought Anna back. Brought her to the moment where she tilted her hips enough to slide part of him inside. John's eyes few wide and, in a moment, he thrust deep.

They paused again, judged the moment, and then lost themselves. The bed bounced differently in this position and they took a bit to adjust their rhythm accordingly but when their snorting giggles subsided, they only focused on one another. Anna's eyes did not leave John's as he pistoned into her, varying his strokes to leave her nails digging into his sides or raking over his back in equal measure.

With his mouth on hers, or tempting over her breasts, all it took to entice Anna over the edge again was his pelvis pressed against her clit and his fingers kneading at her breasts. She tightened around him, clutching to him with everything she had, and used one hand to press at the small of his back. It brought John even closer and her nails in his ass invited him to join her.

They settled, breathing hard as their chests pressed together, and loosened slightly. Anna clawed her hand through her hair, to keep the strands from sticking to her face, and let out a shuddering breath as her body trembled and quivered in the aftermath. She caught sight of John and smiled.

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Mrs. Bates." John kissed her shoulder and Anna shook her head.

"Don't abuse the privilege."

"Never."

They slept in the same bed, John only twitching a few times as they settled in sleep. And every night following they shared the same space until the marshmallow of a bed was as normal as any other. When they were almost as normal as any other.

On Christmas Day, they both walked out to the ocean and Anna released the contents of the urn to float away on the breeze. That day they said very little to one another, opening no presents but the urn, and walked the beach until John's leg could not go farther. Everything happened in silence, even as they came together that night, and instead of the deafening silence of before they shared a comfortable quiet only they understood.