Chapter 15

When he could walk on his own, but couldn't run fifty yards if his life depended on it, Armin accepted he wasn't ready to come off the bench. Since his right arm remained weak, he worked on improving his left-handed aim. But even target practice tired him out in under an hour.

The others divvied up his household chores, and though he know he'd have done the same for any of them, it wasn't any of them.

He'd lived a healthy life, had never dealt with serious illness. In fact, he couldn't remember even being under the weather for more than a day in his life, though he'd faked it a few times to cop another day off school.

His current weakness, and the fatigue that dropped down on him like a lead blanket after the most ordinary exercise, frustrated the hell out of him.

While he dangled his legs in the pool and sulked, Mikasa strolled over, pulled off her Vans, and dropped down beside him.

"I'd probably sink and drown if I tried swimming from one end to the other."

"Boo hoo. You should be dead," she said flatly, and shoved a glass of sparkling pale orange at him. "I mean that. I couldn't stop the bleeding on your side, and you'd already left a wading pool of it on the ground. The shoulder was worse, I know because I've seen gunshot wounds, and it was bad. I know because I watched Annie's face while she and Bertoldt worked on it. He had to make her stop taking on some of the pain because she was nearly as white as you were. That's not even getting to your face, your eye socket, the torn muscles, the shock of being shocked, and all the rest."

"I know all this."

"Then know this." She gave him a solid punch on his good arm. "Bertoldt and Annie saved your life. Without them, nothing the rest of us could've done would've pulled you out. The life was just pouring out of you, Armin. I don't have to be an empath to feel it because I could see it. You saved Historia, and they saved you."

Frowning, he punched her back. "I'm being a bitch."

"Yeah, and you got a pass for a day, nearly dying in a heroic manner and all. Now it's time to suck it up."

"Okay." Oddly, the verbal slap knocked away all the self-pity. But he continued to frown as he looked at the glass in his hand. "What the hell is this, and where's my beer?"

"You're limited to one a day until."

"I feel my bitch coming on again."

"Just drink it, Sally. It's something Bertoldt and Annie made up. Healing and energy booster."

"It doesn't look like what they gave me before."

"New and improved, Mikasa style. Take you medicine, Dead-Eye."

What the hell. He took a drink. "It's good." And drank again. "It's really good."

"I, with their consent, put a half jigger of tequila in it."

"Best friend ever." This time, he gave her a bump with his good shoulder. "How goes the research?"

"Slow. I have to say Eren's damn good at translating, but he doesn't have the patience to dig or know when to stop and regroup. We've had some words on that."

"What! You and Eren argued? Observe my shocked face."

She rolled her eyes at his comic expression. "He started it."

"That's what they all say."

Idly, she kicked her feet splashing up lazy drops of water. "The this is, this break, you being in recovery, it's good for all of us. We needed it. Annie and I had words on that. Nonargumentative, agreeable words. It's given Bertoldt time to resupply, and her a little time to paint. Physically, Historia needed a break, too. They didn't just hurt her, they took her shine."

Rage, cold and keen, shot through his belly. "I know it. If they weren't dead..."

"Yeah, I'm with you. But the shine's coming back, I swear nothing dulls Tori for long. Eren and I, we got off easy, but-"

"Wait. You got shot. I forgot. Jesus, Mikasa, you got hit down there."

She turned to show him the healing wound on her arm, barely a scratch now. "Bertoldt's balm. Only grazed me, though I'll tell you it hurt like a mother. But figure this. Grazed my arm, hit your shoulder."

"They weren't trying to kill us. Brain's still working."

"Panic and debilitate," she concurred. "Capture might have been the goal, but that didn't mean they couldn't make us bleed some. Would've ruined a good wet suit, too, but Bertoldt fixed that as well. He's handy. Couldn't fix yours because we don't know what the hell they did with it. But I've got one lined up for you when we go out again."

"I repeat, best friend ever. Speaking of mothers, what the hell's she doing, the mother of lies?"

"Well, we took her down hard in Corfu."

"Kicked her bitch-goddess ass."

"Every square inch." Mikasa paused long enough for a fist bump. "Then she pull in Reiner. That was good strategy, gotta give it to her. Let him do the dirty, sweaty work, and she bags the stars along with a demon love slave."

"And still." He hefted his glass. "Another swing and a miss."

"Yeah, both times her plans go, I was going to say up in smoke, but let's be accurate. Up in light. The thing is, Reiner wasn't on his game."

"It hurts to agree, since I'm currently sidelined thanks to that fucker, but no, he wasn't on his game. Want to know why I figure?"

Tipping down her sunglasses, she met his eyes. "Yeah, then we'll see if that's what I figure."

"She miscalculated. Whatever she did to him, whatever she was making him into, it made him stronger, I can attest. But it dimmed some of the canny lights. He wasn't smart, Mikasa, and he's goddamn smart."

"Once again, we're in full accord. He should've had Tori on a transport out of here. He'd bagged himself a mermaid, Armin, and the Reiner you and I know and hate? He'd have cashed in on that pronto. Using her, risking damaging or killing her to hammer at you? Not smart. Get her to an undisclosed location to work with later, leave you to Kenny. That's what Reiner, being Reiner, would do."

"He was all about the compass. Even the stars didn't seem as important."

"You got away once before. With those cannies dimmed? I'm thinking he couldn't see past that. And ordering the hit on Ann? That's straight crazy dark god, not Reiner. Take us all, bag us all, have Berger do a head shot on Eren to take him temporarily out of the game, and come in hard on the rest of us. Give Annie to Kenny, make her his own personal prognosticator."

In full agreement, he kicked his legs in rhythm with hers. "And because he didn't play it cool and tight, he loses the two he had. I never expected him to give me back the compass, even with a gun to my head. That was a Hail Mary on my part, but it sucked him in."

"I also figure if the light bombs hadn't obliterated him, Marley would have. He should be glad he's dead."

"He's not." Feet bare, hair bundled up, and deathly pale, Annie walked toward them with a sketchbook.

"Hey, hey." Armin shoved the glass at Mikasa, pushed up fast enough to make his own head spin. But he hurried to Annie, took her arm. "You should sit down."

"Yes, I should. We should all sit down. Bertoldt and Eren went to the village for supplies. I wish they'd come back. If I'd seen...I wish they'd come back."

"They won't be much longer." On her feet now, Mikasa walked from sun to shade as Armin nudged Annie into a chair under the pergola.

"Where's Historia?"

"She's- I think she's finishing laundry. She loves doing laundry."

"I'll get her."

"No, sit." Mikasa pointed at a chair. "I'll get her. Water, alcohol, juice?" she asked Annie.

"Water, just water. Thanks."

"You said Reiner's not dead," Armin began, "but-"

"He's not. He's alive. What he is now lives."

"I don't- Just get your bearings again. Let me go get that water for you."

"No, let's just sit here a minute. It's overwhelming when it comes like that."

"Headache? You need some aspirin, or, shit, that stuff Bertoldt has for you."

"No, no headache." But she pulled pins out of her hair as if even the loose knot squeezed too tight. "It's like opening a window, expecting a nice breeze, and having a tempest blow in. It just takes a minute to settle down again."

"And Bertoldt's not here to help you settle."

"You are. You're steady, Armin. It's your compassion. You have so much of it."

Historia raced out of the house well ahead of Mikasa. "I can run to the village, very fast, and find Bertoldt."

"No, he'll be back soon."

Mikasa set down a large bottle of water, opened it, then poured some into a glass. "Hydrate, level off. We're all fine here, and so are Bertoldt and Eren. You'd know if they weren't."

"Yes, you're right. I just panicked for a minute." Slowly, she sipped water. "I was painting. It felt so good, just so good to paint. Not to worry about anything for just a single day. I wanted to paint the hills, and the green, the way the light washes over the land. Not the sea this time. I prepped a canvas. I'd done some sketches before, and I set them out, organized my tools. I started to mix paints."

She paused, looked down at the smear of sage green on her thumb.

"Then I turned away from the canvas, picked up my sketchbook. That wind," she said to Armin. "It was blowing through me, so fast and fierce. I could barely catch my breath.

"I started to sketch."

Setting the water aside, she opened the sketchbook to the first page she'd used.

"Reiner. In a black tie," Mikasa observed. "And Marley. But that doesn't look like the room you saw them in before."

"No, I think this is before. I think this is his house, in London. She went to him. And here." Quickly, Annie turned the page. "He went to her, and it really began. This is a kind of progression. Flashes, there were flashes of them. I could barely keep up."

She turned the next page to a series of sketches.

"His arms," Historia noted. "They have changed."

"You see them shine? That's not human skin. And here." With a fingertip, Annie traced along the shoulder of one of the sketches.

"It looks like...armor." Mikasa leaned closer.

"The light burns his eyes. The whites turned a pale, sickly yellow. And I know it's subtle, but can you see the change?"

"His eyes. They're hard, heartless," Armin confirmed. "And they're glowing, it seems."

"He starts to wear dark glasses, all the time. Even in sleep. And every night he goes to her, and she puts more of this into him. She puts blood in the wine, little by little, until she's putting wine in the blood. He drinks. He drinks," she repeated as she turned the page. "She rules him now. Some of the blood is hers, so she rules him now. My pet."

Armin saw Bertoldt come out, put his finger to his lips.

"He's her creature, not fully changed, but hers. Through him she'll have what she wants, what belongs to her. Perhaps she'll keep him when it's done. My pet. Until he no longer amuses her."

Gently, Bertoldt laid a hand on her shoulder. She breathed in, breathed out.

"Here he meets with the men. The torturer, the soldier, the assassin. He meets with others who will do what he says for the money he pays. He's no longer bored, but he feels different. His mind gets clouded. He gets so angry. He kills a prostitute and gloats. He's so strong. And she's promised him more, more strength, more power. Life eternal. She's his god now.

"Now at the villa, he'll have a palace soon, but this will do. But his skin, it feels so tight on his bones, and the light sears his eyes. See his eyes."

"Changed," Mikasa said, glancing over as Eren joined them. "Titanic."

"He can see in the dark. He craves the dark. Together, they'll extinguish the light. All the men, working, guarding. Helicopters bring in what's needed, but he goes at night, only at night, and he runs. He's so fast, fast as a snake. But she rarely comes to him now, not enough. He craves her like the dark.

"She'll come now. Two enemies captured. She'll come now, give him what he wants. What he needs."

She turned the page to the sketch of the cave, of Armin bloodied and battered, hanging from chains. Of Historia trapped in the tank.

"He wants the compass, its power. He nearly had it once, and won't be denied a second time. The traveler must pay for denying him, for defying him. She wants the stars, his queen. With the compass, he'll have what they both desire. Kill them both, kill them all, but first, take what's his. Find what's hers. Oh, their pain thrills. Give them more.

"The light! The light! It burns beyond bearing. The heat scorches. He screams for her, but she doesn't come."

"Jesus Christ." Despite everything, when she turned to the next sketch, Armin stared at it with horrified pity. "That's Reiner?"

"He's still between, but more beast than man. Trapped in the dark, the pain, the burning, terrible."

"Titan," Mikasa continued. "Often enslaved to a ruler or god. A shunner of life. Mythologically speaking. They're old Greek legends that took over the world before our time. But were defeated and sent to hell."

"There's actually a name for this?"

"There's a name for everything," she told Armin, "if you dig deep enough."

"She comes to him." Again, Annie turned a page. "He weeps bloody tears. She could destroy him, such is her rage. And there's a madness in her, as in him. But she's still canny, and he'll be useful. She makes him beg, grovel, supplicate himself, but she gives him back his sight, and she takes him to her palace inside the mountain, to a chamber already prepared. It didn't matter if he'd failed or succeeded, this was always his fate. The mother of lies promised riches, power, eternal youth. Instead he'll live as she wills, as long as she wills, and have only what she wills."

She turned the page. There birds pecked at the armor of him while mirrored walls of stone showed the horror Reiner had become. He sat hunched in a corner, wearing a mad grin.

"They say there are some things you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Reiner's definitely high on the list." Mikasa blew out a long breath. "But no, I wouldn't wish this, even on him."

"She denied him a clean death, and that's a cruelty. But-" On a pause, Eren studied the final sketch, coolly. "This is his true self, isn't it? This is what he always was inside. She just brought it out, made it visible."

"Yes. Yes," Annie repeated before anyone else could speak. "She recognized the monster inside him. Now he'll become." She picked up her glass, took a long drink. "And she'll rule him. He's mad, she's driven him to madness and delusion, but he's stronger, faster, and more vicious. He's more dangerous now than before."

She reached for Bertoldt's hand. "I'm so glad you're here."

"You didn't have your quiet day of painting."

"No. But the day's not over. His life is. All the wealth, the privilege, he traded for her lies. No, not even on the worst of enemies, but he gave himself to her because the monster already inside him craved more."

She took another drink, took another breath. "How do we kill him?"

Mikasa took one last look at the sketch. "The nape, mythologically speaking again, is tried and true. Otherwise, for some it's fire, others water or salt or the right incantation. I can look into it. I'm pretty sure he's on his way, but I'll find out what I can."

"I'll do the same." Concern in his eyes, Bertoldt kissed the top of Annie's head. "You should paint, Annie. Something bright and beautiful."

"I will. Historia, would you pose for me?"

"Pose?"

"After this?" She closed her sketchbook. "Bertoldt's exactly right. I'd like to paint something beautiful, something full of light and joy."

"You'd paint me? Oh!" Historia crossed her hands over her heart. "I have such a happy."

"Ah." With a shake of his head, rubbing the back of his neck, Armin said, "That's actually slang for something else, that being a girl, you can't have."

"I can't have happy?"

"A happy. It's..."

"Jesus, Armin, be direct. It's a hard-on." Mikasa pointed to Armin's crotch; he batted her hand away. "When a guy gets hard."

"Oh! That is happy, isn't it? I should say I am happy. I would love to pose for you, Annie."

"Would you pose in the pool, in the water, a mermaid?"

"Yes!" Instantly, she reached for the hem of her dress.

"Wait, whoa. You don't just take off your clothes."

Baffled, Historia lifted her hands at Armin. "I don't go in the water in clothes, and I can't wear a suit for swimming in my true form."

"Yeah, but." He looked directly at Eren. "Go find somewhere else to be."

"I like it here."

"Eren and Bertoldt have seen me without clothes."

"What?"

"When we came back, I had no clothes. Eren gave me his coat so I wouldn't be cold. You're too shy," she said to Armin. Walking toward the pool, she pulled her dress off as she went, tossed it on a chair, the dived in.

"She's already art. And she's yours, brother." On a last admiring glance, Eren rose. "I'll do more translating while you dig up demons," he said to Mikasa.

And to Armin's relief, strolled inside.

Since searching and diving, even training seemed to be off the agenda, Armin took the day. It annoyed him to conk out over his own research, but he felt better after the hour's sleep.

But even after the rest, the compass told him nothing. Part of him worried, despite the reassurances, that using it as he'd used it had cost him the right to it.

Braced for that, he took his phone, walked outside. Historia sat, more lounged, on the steps of the pool, wet hair sleek and not quite covering her breasts. Her tail glistened, a thousand small, bright jewels. She turned her head, just a little, smiled at him.

"I'm supposed to stay still for a few minutes more. Annie says I can't see until she's finished."

But he could, and circled around to where Annie stood at her easel. He saw she'd pinned up several quick sketches, different poses, expressions. And on the canvas she'd captured joy and beauty.

"It's great. It's...amazing."

"So many tones and shades and hues." Annie mixed more paint on her palette, dabbed at the canvas with a thin brush. "And the way they all catch the light."

"You could come in the pool, and talk to me. Annie says I can talk."

"Maybe later. I need to make a call."

"Will you paint Armin, Annie?"

"She doesn't want to-"

"It's on my list."

"What? Really?"

"I want to do a painting of each of us, and one of all of us together. I just have to...find it. Like this with Historia. I've done Bertoldt's, from memory. At night, with the power on him, like the jewels in Historia's tail. Bright, brilliant, and marvelous. But I need to find it, and find the right time. Today was Tori's."

"It's..." He really didn't have the words. "You're going to love it," he told Historia. "I'm going to take a quick walk, make this call."

He chose the grove for the quiet, the shade, the scents. He took out the compass again, considered simply traveling to his grandparents' home. But with his energy still on the low end, it wouldn't be smart. And more, he didn't want to worry his family.

He settled for the phone.

"Grandfather." Even the sound of his grandfather's voice lifted him. "How are you?"

He kept it casual initially, catching up on family news.

"Armin." His grandfather's use of that gentle tone stopped Armin's rabbling. "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? Armin thought. "Where do I start?

"Grandfather. I'm afraid I've...Let me tell you what happened."

Bertoldt walked into the grove. He looked for Armin, as Annie had some mild concern. Apparently Armin had been gone nearly an hour.

He found him, sitting on the ground, back resting against a tree pregnant with lemons. And the compass in his hand.

"I hope you haven't taken any recent trips."

"What? Oh, hey. And no. I've been right here. I just talked to me grandfather."

Bertoldt joined him on the ground, stretched out his legs. "Is he well then, your grandfather?"

"Yeah. Since that scare a while back, he's stronger than ever."

"It's good to speak with family. I spoke with my mother only yesterday."

"Is she worried about you?"

For a moment, in the bright, hot Italian afternoon, Bertoldt felt the cool, damp kiss of Germany.

"She's my mother. Of course she has worries. She also has faith. And though I don't like the worrying of her, her faith give me more of my own."

"Yeah. I love my dad, you know? And my mom, my sibs, my grandmother. But my grandfather..."

"It's a special bond. The compass was his, and he passed it to you. I love my father, and all the rest of my family. But it's my mother who taught me, who helped me learn to open myself to what I am."

"So you get it."

"I do, yes. Now you've told him what troubles you still."

"Everything ya'll said made sense, and it helped. A hell of a lot. But...You know your power's there all the time, right? You don't have to use it to feel it."

"I know what's in me, yes."

"Since we came back from the cave, I haven't felt the connection."

A dragonfly winged by, gossamer in the dappled sunlight. Armin watched its flight, and how it zipped away. He knew what it was to fly.

"When I knew I had to tell my grandfather, I thought about going to him. And I told myself I needed to keep recharging the batteries, you know, and how I didn't want to worry them anyway. But under that was the fear I couldn't do it anyway. I couldn't travel again because I'd lost the right."

"And what did your grandfather say to that?"

"Well, he listened when I told him what happened, about Reiner, the cave, Historia, all of it. And how I'd used this, this gift, to kill a man. And I thought that might have cost me the right to have it."

"And?"

"Basically, he told me to stop being a pussy."

On a half laugh, Armin shrugged, and easily, as the weight of guilt no longer sat on his shoulders.

"It was longer than that, had pretty much everything ya'll said to me, but with that 'don't be a pussy' tagged on tight. Then he said he loved me, and he believed in me, believed I'd do what I'd been born to do. To get it the hell done and come home safe."

"I look forward to meeting him one day."

"Yeah, we'll have a post-quest party that rocks the house."

Emotion shuddered through him, and leading it was gratitude.

"I feel it again. That connection. I know it's mine until it's time to pass it on. Had to stop being a pussy, stop moping over dropping some asshole into the void who'd have put a bullet in my brain."

"Brilliant. I'd say that's earned you a beer."

"A whole one?"

Testing, Bertoldt laid a hand on Armin's wounded shoulder, then on his side. And pleased with what he felt, he nodded. "It's a full pint for you." Bertoldt rose, held out a hand. "Welcome back, Armin."

"So we can dive tomorrow?" With barely a twinge, Armin let Bertoldt pull him to his feet.

"Another day or two for that. We may as well let our digger dig."

"A couple more days, our digger's going to go wolf on us."

"Only from moonrise to moonset. It's this Bay of Sighs clearly enough. Let's give her, and Eren, time to find it, and you and Historia a bit more time. And let's go have that pint."

"I'd be a fool to argue."

Historia no longer lounged in the pool. Armin didn't see Annie, but cut across toward the canvas still on her easel.

And just stared. Joy and beauty, magic and marvel. He didn't know how Annie captured the gleam, the sparkle with only paint. Didn't know how anyone could so clearly show the light in those sky-blue eyes.

How could a painting so perfectly show sweetness and sex and strength?

"You like it." With one of Mikasa's famed Bellinis in hand, Annie wandered out, hooked her arm through Armin's.

"It's everything she is."

"I'm going to do others. It's why I did so many sketches. I want her in the classic mermaid on the rock in the sea, and I want her doing cartwheels or flips on the lawn."

Hearing how relaxed she sounded, seeing all the strain had vanished from her face, Armin understood Bertoldt's reasons for waiting another day or two.

Mikasa had it right, too. They needed a break.

"I could paint her for years," Annie continued. "And I likely will. But this one's for you, Armin."

"For-for me?"

"Absolutely." While she sipped her Bellini, Annie studied her work with a critical eye. "I need maybe another hour with it, just to punch it up, then it's yours. Just like she is."

"But I can't take her, can I?"

"We're in a world of miracles and magic. I'm going to believe in both."

"This painting. It means a lot, more than I can tell you. I need to give you something for it. Not money," he said when she started to pull away. "I get that, and it'd be insulting between us. But when this is over, when we've done what we're meant to do, if you want that conversation with Monet, I'll take you."

She gasped, bounced on her toes, grabbed him in a hug. "Oh my God! Armin, that would be- Oh, my God! I have to brush up, bigtime on my French."

"With just one down and two to go, I figure there's time."

"Mikasa will find the Bay of Sighs, then we'll have two, and one to go. I just...I haven't felt where we go from here. Have you?"

He shook his head. "No hints from the compass yet."

"It'll come, for both of us. And you need another day, at least, before we pick all this up again. So, tomorrow, it's you."

"It's me what?"

"I'm going to paint you tomorrow. I haven't figured out what I'm after with you yet." She stepped back a pace, studied him with a keen and curious eye that made him feel...goofy.

"But it's you," she said firmly.

"It already feels weird."

But he took a seat in the sun, and looked forward to having a beer with friends.

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