17

The silence was almost painful as they stood watching the bank of screens and when Ianto finally spoke it was a relief.

"Initiate."

First came the sound of tearing, like someone was ripping open a packet of crisps, a weird popping sound and the vessel seemed to shudder so slightly that you might have missed it had you not been looking for it.

Gwen had come up with an idea that would distract any other would-be pirates away from the current carnage underway and Ianto had thought it brilliant. Currently though, he was stressing to the max as a man stood in the middle of the main foyer of the vessel where there were not windows, telling everyone that he was in fact the man in charge with a huge speech about the determination of the Phoenix brand to overcome the recent attacks and gibes of others.

This actor was guaranteed to lure any pirate who had been searching for Ianto. So elusive that no one knew what he looked like. This actor was a fair imitation of an older version of him so the whispered descriptions of the few people who had actually met him would match the man currently lording it over the flight with an air of pompous affluence.

"Do you think it's working?" he whispered to John who grinned as he watched the little Japanese woman work at the desk, her face looking so scary he was getting ever so slightly turned on by her. For a little one, she had some serous spine!

Then cane a loud BONIIIG and the ship dipped for a second and it was noticeable, everyone cursing softly and trying to watch the foyer and those milled around listening to the actor who true to form, never broke from his arm waving speech about the need to save the planets and crap. Clearly he was passionate and Ianto made a mental note to not only reward him but make a donation to his charity as a way of keeping his silence once this was done. In fact … might keep him a little longer to stage the death.

"Thinking of keeping him on until you stage your death?" Jack asked and Ianto couldn't help but snort with amusement as he had missed this. Someone who knew his thoughts so well, turning to look at Jack with such raw affection that Jack's mouth went dry.

Oh.

Hello Tiger.

Jack stood stunned as Ianto transformed into someone he knew so well, that familiar tug of a lover making Jack's hand itch to run over his lush body. He knew he was fuzzy. Had small light touches of hair on him that enthralled both himself and John. Both so sleek and smooth from their sector. Ianto was so … touchable.

"You know … I remember you painting my toe nails when I was so pregnant I couldn't move anymore" Jack said softly "I remember that now. Neon green. You hate green but you painted them that because I like green. I promised to never wear it again after that shirt incident made you physically ill looking at it."

Ianto's face softened "You don't suit green Cariad. Blue. Handsome and strong."

"Cariad" Jack repeated "that's what you called me. Your Cariad."

"Yes. Jack..I…"

"Venting" Toshiko cut in and they turned to watch the first body floating out of the airlock, the pirates mostly dead or dying in weak death-throes like someone drowning under water.

"Taking out the trash" John smiled "Look at that one. Look … he even has the insignia on his shoes but the wrong shade of red. They really thought this through, worked really hard to kill you didn't they?"

"Well … we all know they succeeded. I just don't know why. Who sent them, the purpose? You know? That's what keeps me awake at night. Not just the sorrow of those lost in the last attack … but why." Ianto sighed.

"That's why you are young." Jack suddenly blurted "That's what has been bothering me. You are already reverted before we came on board. Already your younger self. You have died before this flight started. That's true, right? That's why. You were in that blast with your crew in the other vessel when they struck. How you knew the flight crew member had a child with her on the deck and that child died too. Why this is so personal. They killed you then. You reset, why you have not really changed much with this current reset. Only a few years between. Right? You have had to hide yourself even more."

"Yes" Ianto said shortly "And it brings me a perverse pleasure to know what they are feeling right now in their final moments. If there is anything to be gained from dying repeatedly it's that. I know the pain, fear and the total devastation of death. And this way? One of the worst."

"What was the worst overall?" Owen couldn't help but ask and Ianto turned his eyes sliding to Jack before looking away.

"I really can't' say. All of them are not exactly fun.'

"There must be one though … one that really churns your gut."

"Owen" Toshiko said gently "I do not want to know those sorts of things. Death will come on the end, either way. Why know the last moments as they approach? I do not want to know."

Ianto made a mental note to thank her later.

That death… was one he will never shake.