~ Chapter Completed with Assistance for fellow writer Chris Cody ~
The headlights of her truck lit up the garage wall as she pulled in, turning off the engine she grabbed her bag and climbed out. Heading up the stairs, Chris was humming to herself. She was in a good mood…..maybe because of her exchange with Street perhaps? She found herself smiling as she thought about his arms around her and that hug. She closed her eyes telling herself to stop it as she stuck her key in the lock and swung the door open, dropping her bag on the stand and kicking off her shoes.
"Hey guys" she called out….. "I'm home".
As she walked around the corner to the living area, she instantly knew something was wrong. Kira was standing by the window, Ty sitting on the couch and by the mood and feel in the room she knew what was coming was not going to be good news.
Chris's steps slowed as she took in the look on Ty's face and the body language of Kira as she stood looking away from her out the window.
"Is …um…. everything ok?" Chris asked cautiously still moving slowly toward them. As she stepped to lean on the side of the couch, Kira turned, her cheeks were covered in tears and she stepped towards the coffee table reaching for a piece of paper that lay there. Chris instantly recognised it and felt her breath catch as adrenaline flooded her veins. It was the letter… the letter that she had a while ago written to Street when she took that sick day. 'Oh fuck' ran through her head as Kira tossed the paper at her.
"Care to explain Chris" Kira said with hurt in her voice. Before Chris could answer Kira held up her finger and continued to speak. "I was trying to surprise you today you know…. I wanted to move some of your stuff to redecorate and make a new bedroom closet space for you when I found this". She crossed her arms and shook her head. "Were you ever gunna tell us that you are in love with him?… that you want to be with him?... or were you just going to keep stringing us along for fun?"
Chris's eyes went from the page to Kira, and then to Ty. Ty sat motionless with almost an expressionless look on his face as he stared at the rug. Chris flicked the page in her hand and started
"Look, I wrote this a while ago. I wrote it to him yes, but it was a way of getting my feelings out and helping me sort through it all"
"Yeah, you made it pretty clear in there that you LOVE him more than us" Kira yelled as she motioned to Ty.
Chris sighed "Kira…please…. let me explain".
"How about you start with 'Honesty', like you said in there" she hissed as she shook her head. "So that kiss was a lot more than just a drunken silly onetime thing". Kira turned away and went back to the window.
"No…. I …. Ah…. I have been working through a lot and yes I wrote that, I felt those things but that was then…"
"So, you feel differently now?" Ty asked slowly with a querying look on his face. Before Chris could answer Kira stepped back to them, standing in front of Chris.
"Yes Chris…. look me in the eye right now and tell me the truth…Do you still have those feelings for Jim?" Kira stood arms folded, in front of Chris, watching her face intently.
"Kira, please…" Chris shook her head and sat on the couch. She motioned for Kira to do the same. Kira pulled away from Chris's hand and shook her head.
"I'm taking that as a yes!"
"Stop, please let me…"
"Let you what?... lie to us again? No… no not this time Chris. You clearly still do have those feelings and you really don't want to be here… do you?"
Chris exhaled, closing her eyes and glanced slowly down at the rug. "Kira…Jim and I are best friends"
Kira began to laugh as she turned and walked to the bench shaking her head. Ty frowned and rubbed his hands on his legs. "Chris, we know you and Jim are close. But what we both wonder is, do you want to be with him…..in a relationship? Do you love him deeply like you said in there?"
"Ty" Chris began sitting forward, "Jim and I have a complicated history" She raised her eyebrows slightly and tilted her head. "I do care about him deeply yes, but a relationship like that with him just doesn't seem to be in the cards".
"You are unbelievable!" Kira slammed her cup on the bench. "You want it to be, though don't you? you clearly still LOVE him Chris… not once have you actually tried to deny that! You need to just admit it Chris!"
Chris swallowed hard and sighed, maybe Kira was right. She closed her eyes and stood up. "I'm sorry…..I should just go" she said as she turned and headed to her room.
Kira went to Ty and cried while Chris packed her things.
An hour later and Chris was sitting in her truck on the side of the road, with her suitcase, two boxes of belongings and no idea what to do next. Tears fell down her face as she looked at the letter sitting in the box next to her.
There was no way she could face Street now…. Nor anyone on the team. So, she texted Hondo.
Hi Boss, Can I take a few personal days?
Hondo got the text as he climbed out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and frowned reading it. He dialled her number.
"Hey …. Chris .. what's up?"
Chris closed her eyes and swallowed before answering him. "I ah…" there was a noticeable shake in her voice.
"You ok?"
"No…. some personal stuff boss, I just….ah…..need a few days.. to sort some stuff out"
Hondo knew not to push too much and said he would organise it with Hicks. But she needed to stay in touch. Chris said she would get out of town for a bit, but she would be back by the weekend.
Starting the truck again she exhaled….and wiped her eyes pulling away and heading south down the interstate. Chris drove until she reached a small seaside town. Pulling her truck into the parking lot of the motel by the ocean, she booked a room and climbed into the bed exhausted. She passed her days, sleeping, walking along the sand, hiking through the trails and just being alone.
As the days passed, Street noticed that whenever he saw 20 David at HQ Chris was nowhere to be found. At first, he shrugged it off and didn't give it much thought. But by the third day his mind was constantly wondering where she was. When 50 David rolled back into HQ after a mission and walked back through the gym, Street stopped seeing Tan by the bikes.
"Hey"
"Oh, hi Street" Tan answered as he finished tying his laces. "Good shift?"
"Ah... yeah… ok I guess" Street answered
"Oh, I heard you smashed those certifications yesterday!" Tan said patting Streets arm. "Way to go man! Getting those specialisations on your file is huge!"
"Thanks, I ah… I'm glad it is over for now" Street said trying to form his words to ask where Chris was. "Hey, I ah, I have been pretty busy and side tracked with all that stuff and I was just thinking though that I haven't seen Chris about this week… she ok?"
Tan sighed and stood up closer to Street. He spoke quietly as he knew Chris wouldn't want things broadcast around HQ. "Uh…... all I know is she asked for some personal leave. I've texted her… but radio silence for now"
Street closed his eyes knowing that for her to just take off like that and give everyone radio silence, something must be happening that is pretty big. He immediately wondered if it was Ty and Kira related. He nodded slowly at Tan.
"I hope she is ok" he said... "If you hear from her let me know?"
"Yeah sure man" Tan said as Street turned to walk away.
Meanwhile Chris sat alone on the top of the sand dunes watching the boats out at sea on the horizon. She knew she had to go back today, and she was desperately trying to work out what to do next and how to fix her life. Slowly reaching into the front pocket of her hoodie she pulled out the letter, the damn letter that had landed her here. Part of her kind of regretted writing it. Part of her knew her heart was still aching for him. As her thoughts turned to Street, she closed her eyes and laid back in the warm sand. She wondered if Kira was right. If Kira could see how much she actually loved him and truly wanted him…. Why was she so determined to fight it?
"Ding"
The noise of her phone made her sit up, she reached into her bag and pulled it out. Her heart pausing for a second as she saw his name on the screen. 'Shit…what does he want? Does he know?' raced through her head. She unlocked the screen and opened his message.
"Hey, haven't seen you around the last few days. I heard you took some leave. Hope you are okay? I know we have been a bit distant, but I meant what I said, and I do really miss you, you're my best friend"
Reading it, Chris felt her heart ache. She closed her eyes and tears welled. 'Should I respond?' she sat pondering. 'What the hell would I say?' Deep down she was embarrassed that Ty and Kira had fallen apart so quickly after she was so adamant that she wanted a relationship with them and not him.
She tossed her phone back in the bag and stood up. She took one last long look at the ocean and inhaled deeply before she turned and headed to her truck. Driving back up the interstate Chris watched the mile signs getting closer as the lights of LA began to peek over the horizon. She pulled into the next gas station and stood filling up her truck. Her mind wandered as she watched the traffic go by. "Where the hell am I gunna go?" … the realisation began to hit her that she had in fact nowhere to go. Chewing her lip as she paid for the gas, she got back in her truck and pulled into the parking bay. As she sat there, she couldn't fight it any longer, she leant over and reached for her phone. Opening his message again she began to cry. 'Shit I've really screwed this up' she muttered to herself. 'I just really need to hear his voice, tell him I'm not ok'….. and before she could stop herself, she had dialled his number.
She closed her eyes as it began to ring. Slowly opening them and resting her head back with a long inhale as it rang…. She was holding her breath, waiting for him to answer. "Hey, you've reached Jim Street…. ahh…honestly you're better off texting me". Chris closed her eyes and tears fell as she thumped the wheel. She sat on the side of the road for a while crying…. swallowing hard thinking about how he might be with Molly right now and that she may just have left this all a bit too late and have lost him for good.
As the sun completely disappeared and darkness fell Chris wiped her eyes and pulled her truck back out onto the Interstate. Rain began to hit the windshield as she drove, and Chris felt like she was miles away… her head such a mess. Almost as if on autopilot, she drove straight to Luca's. She sat frozen though when she pulled up, seeing Streets bike parked in the drive. Moving her eyes from the bike to the house and back again, Chris was arguing with herself about what to do. She contemplated driving away and just staying in a motel somewhere but a part of her wanted to see him. She finally managed to summon the courage to open the door and get out. The heavy rain soaked her clothes as she slowly wandered along the path to the front gate. She tentatively undid the latch and pushed open the squeaky gate. Slowly she began walking towards the front door, her eyes still on his bike. Her feet stopped, "shit…. I can't" she whispered as she began to turn around. She didn't get far when the noise of the front door swinging open made her look back up. Street stood in the doorway looking at her… a look of confusion or maybe shock on his face. He had heard the front gate unlatch and came to see who was in the yard.
Chris couldn't speak in that moment. She just stood in the pouring rain looking at him. Tears were beginning to run down her face as she dropped her shoulders and shuddered. Street exhaled. Instantly knowing without a word what was happening. His heart was breaking looking at her standing there broken, soaking wet and so vulnerable. He began moving to her without a word. He held out his hand to her. She blinked slowly at him; her sad eyes seemed to be screaming at him that she was sorry. Sorry for being here right now, sorry for everything that had happened. She closed her eyes for a moment as more tears came and Street careful to keep his distance and not push her again offered her his hand. She carefully and slowly raised her hand to his. Just that small gesture of his hand taking hers and the warmth of his skin made her heart sing. Neither of them said a word as he tugged her to him and hugged her in the pouring rain, softly kissing the top of her head.
"I got you….come on…let's get you out of this rain" He said softly as he pulled back. Chris swallowed hard and with her hand still in his she followed him up the steps and into the house. As she undid her boots, Street fetched her a towel and put her bag in the bathroom. He came back and stood looking at her as she dried her dripping hair. She couldn't look at him, her eyes darted around the floor as she bought the towel down from her head.
"Thank you" she said folding it neatly and holding it against her. Street closed his eyes and exhaled.
"Chris….." there was a sad desperation in his voice. She slowly looked up at him through her hair. Street was contemplating asking her what exactly had led to her being on his steps in the dark and the pouring rain, but he decided instead to leave it and just make sure that she felt safe right now. "Why don't you go shower and I'll make us some tea?" Chris nodded and waited for him to move before she slid sheepishly down the hall. As she wandered back out a while later Street was sitting on the couch with two cups of tea on the coffee table.
"Come on…. sit" he leant over and patted the other end of the couch. Chris paused, hesitating a little, she didn't say anything just slowly moved to the couch and sat down. Street watched her, he had never seen her like this before and that terrified him. He had no real idea of how he should be acting or what he should be saying right now.
"You ok?" he asked quietly as she stared at the TV. Her lips made a painful grimace and she glanced away. Street knowing that she was trying to hold back tears. "Hey…..." he started with a whisper "I'm here". She bit her lip and nodded. "Thank you" was barely a whisper escaping her lips, as she could no longer hold in the tears. She shuddered and sobbed, covering her face with her hands. He moved closer and pulled her into him. "I got you…... it's okay" he whispered as he held her. Slowly she regained her composure and Street shifted back to his seat. They sat in silence, as she slowly leant forward and took the tea, clutching the warm mug and curling herself up into a ball as she sipped her tea and watched the news.
"Are you hungry?" Street asked after a while looking at her. She kept her eyes forward and shrugged, before slowly turning her head to meet his gaze. "A little"
Street nodded and stood up, passing her a blanket off the back of the couch. "I'll go whip us up something. You rest." He moved about the kitchen, making them both a bowl of pasta. As he carried it back into the living room, he smiled seeing her curled up fast asleep.
He quietly put down the bowls and gently took the mug from her hands, pulling the blanket up over her. Street sighed to himself. Seeing her this broken was killing him. He slowly sat back on the coffee table looking at her as he gently reached out and stroked her hand.
"I wish I could fix you right now" he said as he watched her. The quiet moment was broken by Luca coming through the door.
"SHHHHHH" Street stood up and hushed Luca.
Luca's eyes immediately falling on Chris asleep on the couch. Luca frowned and tilted his head at Street.
"What are… um? What's going on?" He said looking back at Chris.
"She showed up here about an hour ago and was standing outside in the rain. She hasn't spoken much." Street answered
Luca nodded slowly, "Ty and Kira drama?" he said sighing
"yeah….I'm guessing so" Street nodded.
"So, she is gunna sleep there all night?" Luca said looking at Street questioningly.
"No um, she can have my bed… I'll take the couch. Can you pull the covers back…. I'll carry her in?"
Luca nodded and went into Streets room pulling back the covers and making sure the bed was ready for her. "Good to go….. I'm gunna hit the shower"
Street nodded as Luca disappeared and he bent down, gently lifting her up off the couch in his arms, her head falling against his chest as he carefully carried her in and laid her on his bed. He tugged up the covers and whispered "Goodnight Chris" as he slowly closed the door.
The next morning when Chris woke up it took her a second to remember where she was. As it slowly dawned on her that she was at Luca's she realised she was in Street's bed. She glanced at the other side of the bed untouched and smiled. Rolling over, she pressed her face into his pillow….. smelling the scent of him and closing her eyes. She bit her lip and thought about how he must have put her here last night. Chris couldn't stop the broad smile that spread across her face as she thought about how lovely he was.
Looking at the clock she realised she better get up and get ready. She promised Hondo she would make it to shift today. Pulling on her clothes she wandered out to the kitchen. Chris swallowed hard before turning the corner. She was a little embarrassed and awkward. She felt butterflies and that familiar surge as she looked up seeing Street making his breakfast, shirtless at the stove.
"Hey…" he smiled seeing her paused in the doorway "you sleep okay?".
"um…..Yeah… I did …" Chris tried to hide her flushed cheeks and giddy smile. She stepped into the kitchen opening the fridge…
"I um….. have made you some muesli" Street offered… holding up a bowl for her.
Chris felt really self-conscious but smiled at him. "Thank you" she said softly as Street eyed her. Chris carefully took the bowl and moved to sit at the table. She could feel him watching her.
"I um…." she slowly looked up at him "hey….I'm sorry for just showing up last night.. I um"
Street walked around the counter and pulled out a chair to sit next to her. As she continued to speak, he couldn't help but interrupt her.
"Hey, It's ok…you needed a place and we are always here" he said kindly.
"yeah…..Where is Luca?" Chris said looking about.
"He ahhh, headed in already…he had to stop by and drop something off for Kelly this morning." Chris nodded as she took a spoonful of muesli.
Both of them sat in a comfortable silence as they finished their breakfast. He was conscious not to push her. "You on shift today?" Chris asked after a while, as she stood up and placed her bowl in the sink.
"Yeah in a few hours" Street answered.
"Ok, well I should get going now. Don't want to be late" Street nodded at her and watched her grab her gear. As she opened the door, he stood up, walking to her. He reached out his hand and placed it over her hand that held her overnight bag. Before Chris could look at him or pull away, he said,
"Hey, leave that", Chris furrowed her eyebrows at him, and widened her eyes.
"No, no…It's ok" She shook her head dismissively, starting to pull back "you've already done enough…this mess of mine is not your problem"
Street smiled and interrupted her. Not moving his hand from hers. "Chris, stay here while you get back on your feet... even Luca says you should." Street said…. almost pleading with her.
Chris smiled, she felt embarrassed. She closed her eyes and sighed before slowly nodding. "Okay, just a few days" she said with a smile.
"That's fine" he answered smiling, taking her bag and waving her out the door. "Now go…. I'll see you in there soon".
