Hello everyone, sorry for the long break. With everything happening in the world as well as getting back into my studies, it's been busy. This story has not been abandoned though, it will just take more time until I can get more free time. Also sorry about the low quality of last chapter, I don't exactly excel at writing raw platforming. Anyways, here is the next chapter!
To Mad King C, thanks for the review again. The swinging thing I did last chapter was a speedrunning technique I saw for the Deathwish version of the well, so that might have been why it seemed so confusing. And yes, Spidey will eventually have a long word with Venom, but the way I'm setting up the acts makes it so it's a few chapters from now still.
To dinogeoff, I do in fact intend on doing Queen Vanessa's manor. In fact, I can't wait to write it because of what I have in store for it and how it'll move the story forward. Although I'm not the best with suspense writing so you'll have to forgive me
"Hurry newbies, the arena is this way!" shouted the minion ahead of the Spidey and Hattie. Sprinting through Subcon Village, the trio were alarmed as chaos seemed to run rampant. Some strange supernatural energy was spewing out of the ground, dwellers were running for cover, and all of the Subconites were taking shelter in their tree stumps.
"So would you mind explaining what this "Toilet of Doom" can do? We'd rather not jump in blind," requested Spider-Man. Maybe with some info, they can make a brief game plan.
"No one knows where it came from. It just showed up one day and started trapping roaming spirits," espoused the minion. "It made the boss pretty mad, so he went over there to beat it up. There was a big battle, but the boss ended up winning. He stuffed it into his old acid pool to make sure it didn't find anymore souls, but lately it's been acting up, and today it just burst! Someone said they saw a purple soul with a top hat playing in the acid pool when the outhouse came back. So yeah... this ones all you kid," he cheekily finished.
Hat Kid shot him a glare, a rare sight on her innocent face, though she began to wonder, Does this mean I have to fight my own soul?
"Alright, right across this gap is the arena. Good luck newbies, it was nice knowing ya!" With that, the little guy ran off.
Shrugging their shoulders, the two contractors swung across the gap by a tree branch and into the arena.
It was dark and damp, even more so than the rest of Subcon. The green sludge in the middle added an eerie feeling to the place. The hanging cages above them also creeped them out a tad. But that was nothing compared to what lay in the middle. As a purple sprite of energy was whizzing around, the "Toilet of Doom" revealed itself, opening its doors and sucking Hat Kid's soul towards it.
"Get away from my soul you stinky shack!" shouted Hat Kid. Umbrella held high, she charged into battle as a baffled Spider-Man followed along.
Watching their approach, the toilet gave out a battle cry that sounded akin to a whale with tuberculosis. It jumped out of the middle of the arena and opened its hideous hinges.
Out spewed bubbles of pure toilet water! As the duo dodged around the disgusting projectiles, they looked over their shoulders at the bubbles they had evaded. One of the bubbles hit a candle at the corner of the arena causing it to melt away.
"Acidic toilet water?!" cringed Spider-Man, shivering at the thought of dying to doo doo water.
The toilet water barrage continued as the two contractors kept dodging, until one of the exploding fruits was hurled at them along with the acid bubbles.
Peter, if you use our tendrils, we are immune to acidity. You can pop the bubbles informed Venom
"Best news I've heard all day." Giving Venom a degree of control, albeit hesitantly, he felt his body adapt to the new sensation of producing tendrils instead of webs. Once the symbiote relinquished control, Spidey concentrated before shooting out a sharp tendril at the bubble with the bomb. Seeing its plan backfire, the toilet cowered in fear.
"Light em up kid!" he shouted to his companion. Switching to her sprint hat, Hat Kid rushed in before the fruit exploded. Picking it up, she ran straight up to the fearful outhouse with an almost innocent grin, if it weren't for the smugness she was feeling.
"Here's a present!" she taunted before tossing it back through the door.
BOOM! The explosion rocked the outhouse to its core as it howled in pain.
"Yowch, right in the pisser!" Spidey noted that explosions to the inside of the toilet harmed it the most. He made sure he dedicated it to both his and Venom's memory as the outhouse leaped high into the air, stopping over the green pit of acid.
As it did what almost seemed like an evil laugh, the toilet began exerting its magic. Instantly, Peter's spider-sense tingled, and no sooner did a giant metal cage come crashing down, catching him nearly by surprise.
"Whoa, I'm the only one who gets to swing around here!" He did a roll forward to avoid another cage as it dragged behind him. Looking up, he noticed that the toilet had turned blue. Now's my chance he thought, and with a burst of speed, he cut through the never-ending steel traps as he got closer.
Just as he formed the hand motion to make a web though, the grapple he was going to use to swing was already taken. Turning in surprise, he heard a "Cling!" right before he saw a little purple mass crash into the outhouse feet first. Spidey couldn't believe it; Hat Kid learned his signature swing kick. If he were a father, he would be overwhelmed with spider pride. Huh, so is this what having kids is like?
"I did the thing!" cheered Hat Kid as she reveled in her achievement.
Before Spidey could give any proper congratulations though, the toilet enraged again. This time, it belched out 6 bubbles, with one containing a heart pon and another holding another cherry bomb. Unlike the other bubbles though, there was a lack of green, as well as no spider sense, on the ones holding the goods.
"Kid, grab the goodies. I'll keep sewage breath here occupied." Nodding, Hat Kid took her grapple and started rocking back and forth, doing her best to avoid the bubbles of doom.
"So, what's your origin story? Got angry people kept leaving your seat up?" mocked Spider-Man. Nowhere in his career did he ever think he would be making toilet jokes in a serious setting. As he dodged another acid bubble, he heard the pop of a bubble behind him, and judging by the anxiety building beeping, Hat Kid had managed to grab the cherry bomb.
"Fire in the hole!" he shouted, diving to the ground as Hat Kid literally fired the bomb down the toilet hole.
KABOOM! Another clean throw, and this time the outhouse was showing the tiniest bit of wear and tear as wood chips began appearing.
"I think it's working," evaluated the little alien. As the toilet began to enrage once more, Spidey took the initiative and shot a web line to stop whatever attack was to come. He was surprised though when he suddenly found himself flung into the air with the toilet. As they came crashing back down, the web slinger held on for dear life as he was thrown around like a kid on a mechanical bull. Meanwhile, Hat Kid tried her best to dodge the shockwaves the toilet was now creating. She succeeded in jumping over the first few waves, but soon found herself flat on her butt as the final wave knocked her off her feet.
Trying to get up, she saw that the toilet was once again summoning the cages, but she couldn't find her footing in time before she saw the big metal cage bearing down on her.
Covering her eyes, she was surprised when she heard a low voice growl, "Oh no you don't!" Then, a symbiote strengthened web line caught the cage and jerked it off course. Using his enhanced strength, Symbiote Spidey hurled the cage with one hand, causing it to crash into the blue and bewildered outhouse. "You don't get to play dirty on my watch, sewage scum," he threatened, his lenses narrowing and fist clenching. As quickly as the aggression came though, his eyes and hands returned to normal as he scolded, "Not again."
Taking her focus off the conflicted do-gooder, Hat Kid saw the extent that cage toss had damaged their adversary. The toilet was now leaking, having been hit so hard that the front door had come unhinged. From the middle, she could see a purple glow violently pulsing. Her soul was trying to break free! Just one more hit and she reckoned that the outhouse would be down for the count.
"I've seen kitchen sinks that are tougher than you!" Hat Kid then stuck her tongue out to add insult to injury
Fueled by the insult, as well as knowing it was on the verge of losing, the old crapper had one last trick up its hinges. Jumping up into the air again, it soared high enough that neither man nor alien could see where it went. When it finally descended back down, a look of horror struck their faces. In the middle of the arena lay a cherry bomb the size of a trailer house. From the top of the arena, the cages appeared again, this time revealing dwellers inside. The duo didn't even have time to totally register their purpose before they were swarming into the bomb.
"If that bomb goes off, all of Subcon is gonna be a crater!" shouted an alarmed Spider-Man. Personally, he didn't care if Snatcher got blown up, he was already dead. But all the nicer inhabitants like his minions may get turned to ash. He tried to swing up to the toilet to knock it out, but it used its magic to cut his web lines. When he tried to crawl on the bomb, he found that it was too slippery to stick to. Running out of options, he searched frantically for a way to get up.
And that's when he saw it. Hat Kid was using the toilet's condescending of him as a distraction. From behind, he could see her scurrying up the cages as she tried to reach the top.
It was then that Spidey started to grin despite himself. He'd essentially caught the toilet equivalent of an evil monologue. Playing along with the act, he got on his knees, and gave an Oscar worthy act of despair.
"Oh no, how could I be bested by a toilet! I should have done more to stop you when I had the chance. It's over," he fake sobbed. In his head, he could hear Venom go, Really?
Can it slimy, you know how theater club auditions went
As the outhouse seemed to begin its speech about how great it was and how pathetic Spider-Man was, it was cut off mid-belch as an umbrella whacked it with a 1-2 combo. The toilet could do nothing as with a final "Hyah!" Hat Kid smacked it off of the cherry bomb, disarming and disintegrating it completely as the smelly spirit sailed off to the side of the ring, completely broken.
"Yeah! We did it Spidey!" cheered Hat Kid. Jumping down, she rushed over to the broken wreckage that was the Toilet of Doom. Inside, she saw a time piece hanging from the toilet paper holder, which she yanked out and held with pride. Then the purple mist rose up and took up the form of her soul, literally lifting her spirits up.
She reached out to grab it and get her soul back, but just as she touched it, a familiar black figure appeared from the ground and taunted, "Uh uh uh! Not so fast kiddo."
The little explorer could do nothing as she watched her soul get sucked back into the Snatcher's mouth, having just grasped it back. The black spirit licked its mouth as if it had just eaten a good meal as he congratulated, "I'm impressed! For a couple of towel boys, you seem to have a knack for these kind of life ending situations!"
"Yeah, it's almost like we're doing unpaid labor," retorted Spider-Man in a flat tone.
"Why, that's the best kind of labor!"
"Whatever," groaned the two contractors together.
"Anyways kiddos, keep up the good work! I'd love to stay some more to tell you how much of a PAIN you just got rid of for me, but I have things to do, souls to torment. Anyways, smell you later!" And with that, the Snatcher once again disappeared.
"Well he was helpful as always," snarked Spidey. "Where to next kiddo?"
Pulling the next contract out of her hat, Hat Kid opened the parchment and showed the older explorer what was next on their plate.
"Get something from an old abandoned manor? That might be the easiest thing we've done so far," the arachnid snorted. "What can possibly go wrong?" And so he picked up Hat Kid and swung back across the gap, eager to get all these contracts done and over with.
Short chapter, but I like to think it's full of decent content. Plus the boss goes down pretty easy to be honest. Anyways, the Queen's manor is next! And also I wanted to say stay safe everyone. The world's going crazy right now, so I'm hoping I'm providing you all some entertainment in your quarantines. Hope you are all doing well.
