A/N
Finally! I know that the chapter is far from perfect because I struggled for such a long time to simply start writing again but to be honest I'm fine with it. I'm certain it mirrors all my conflicts but it's ok. Thank you all for your patience and for you encouraging comments, dear readers!
Since it has been such a long time (almost 6 months) I recommend you read chapter 17 again before you continue here.
That being said, without the wonderful help of Taedae and Windcage, I would be lost. Thank you so much!
I would like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Chaossu3D and his amazing artwork about Sylvanduin. (You can find him on tumblr and twitter!) - And I'm very sorry for the long wait!
HAVENSWOOD
He said out loud what he felt. He had wanted for so long to make her understand! Sylvanas was partly shocked, though. He could feel it in the way she answered his kiss hesitantly, yet she should've known his brashness by now. And Anduin didn't kid himself: he would probably never get an answer from her.
"Is that clear enough for you?" he, therefore, asked when he finally pulled his mouth away, his forehead pressed to hers, their eyes locked. "Or do you need a further demonstration?"
"Anduin..." she whispered, both the glowing red eyes and the less abrasive voice indicating his confession wasn't leaving her undead spirit untouched. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed the entire length of her body against him. "Perhaps you should show me instead." The suggestive way she did it made his erection slowly came to life once more.
"As you command..." He lowered her to the bed, feeling the powerful moment between them and went for another try. "Sylvanas," he whispered, coaxing her into meeting his eyes. With his heart in his throat, he said, "trust me. Please."
Had he chosen the wrong time? Something between them shifted, he saw it as her features hardened. There was an edge and despair to her voice. And a reproach, as if she would resent him for making her be so open? "Hell, Anduin. Quit thwarting my plans..."
He closed his lips over hers to stop her from speaking further on the subject. "What plans can I stop you from making anyway? It's just a confession," he groaned in her mouth. Falling again for her, having her so close and making his skin tingle! He didn't want to let go of the flow of magic between them. He pressed her gently into the sheets, surprised by his want to make her his again. To show her — as she had advised him to do a few moments before.
By the Light, he wanted to show her! He moved quickly, nestling between her legs at the edge of the bed, kneeling on the floor, then dipped his head and licked while fumbling for the oil with one of his hands, the other one keeping her in place. Her wail in pleasure — Sylvanas was caught off guard by his initiative and shaken by the intensity of her feelings, he heard it in her voice — made Anduin lavish upon her, excited by the answer he had gotten.
"Anar'alah... Anduin," she loudly moaned with desire when he delved his tongue in, wanting to make her aware again how much he knew her on a deeply intimate level. He had her almost inaudibly whimpering for more, easing her only slightly by situating his lips over her most sensitive spot and sucking upon it with a gentle force. He was so turned on, he thought about touching himself. Forgotten was the search of the oily fluid and everything else. He was harder than he'd imagined for another round, yet he hung on the edge of his release, unable to let go. He concentrated on her, who arched and dissolved into pleasure, squirming and writhing in her frenzy — it was a sight to behold. "Come," he invited her between kisses, licks, and bites, "Sylvanas, come for me!"
The next wail of ecstasy that escaped her while she stiffened told him he had taken her where he wanted her. He enjoyed observing her, and when she lifted her head, he let himself fall into the gaze of Sylvanas' opened eyes, which were such a deep red he had never seen before. Being closer to liveliness than undeath?
Shaking, he dropped his hands and rested on his heels, his eyes closed for just a moment as he struggled to regain breath and sanity. Sweat dripped down the side of his face and the back of his neck, making him aware of how hot he was, perhaps not only from the situation itself but also from a bit of a fever? Her almost odorless taste was still on his lips, mixed with a bit of what reminded him always of the taste of Stormwind Tawny. And although his mind slowly settled into a comfortable peace, his hunger for Sylvanas in his arms remained. That deep passion he felt for her, could he ever get enough of, partnered with another, deeper feeling?
"Anduin?"
Sylvanas calling him by his name affected the young king more than he wanted. He groaned inwardly, trying to be reasonable. Where else could this lead to than to a battlefield?
She sat up and gazed down at him, where he remained on his knees on the floor, naked, sweating, certainly all of his emotions whirling over his face. No point in hiding them anymore after his earlier confession, so he just opened his eyes and replied to her gaze. He said nothing, the thunderstorm outside still roaring.
Sylvanas struggled to decipher Anduin's look. She couldn't turn her eyes away from him, this young and gorgeous piece of her personal enemy who set her deadness on fire. She had come to finally get rid of him, however, the emotions running through her argued rather that the opposite was the case. Here she was, being made love to in an almost perfect way by him, and finding herself not able to step away. Was it time to finally come to terms with the truth she pushed away over and over again? His openness aggravated her situation and the problems, yet how he sat beneath her, watching her, trustful and open and unconditional, touched her inner self.
"How come you feel so much for me?" she assailed him, fighting her inner turmoil. "Where do you take the certainty from, Anduin, ...about us? Our disputes put a strain on our affair, making it more difficult, but you still believe in us?"
His entire focus was on her. "How come you doubt me every time we meet? Yet, you are here just as I am." He faltered. "Where's the sense in that?"
"That's not what I meant, Anduin." Sylvanas shook her head, still not able to brush away the turmoil. "I know that you still think me redeemable, deep down. But I am not." She paused and averted her eyes.
It felt like she had smacked him, but he clearly understood the message behind her words. "Why do you want me to turn away from you, Sylvanas?"
Her harsh reaction wasn't what he expected. "Do not push me! We do not stand on the battlefield yet!"
Anduin's eyes flashed. That was the only place she thought of to meet him again? "So when we are, the only choice you leave me with is that I murder you?" He fumed. "I heard there exist three ways of murder: You murder to protect, you murder to keep something up, and you murder to take revenge for something. Which do you think is mine? Which will be yours?"
Sylvanas' eyes started to glow and her harsh answer was given before she had time to think about it. "Isn't it easy? We both murder to protect."
He was stunned. Maybe she was afraid of the same thing he was? Wasn't it only him who wanted to nurture this increasing desire for more of them? He came up, climbed onto the bed and caught her in his arms. "So there's no chance for us? It's all decided for us? We have only stolen moments?"
She gritted her teeth. "Why do you keep pushing me, little lion?"
Anduin felt a pang in knowing that she used the nickname again as an insult, but he managed to keep his composure. His voice turned serious. "Sylvanas, life has taught me one thing. There are moments you have to take, whether they're good or not. Because if you do otherwise, you will miss both the good ones and the others. — I admit that I carry hope in me that not all is lost with you. That you are still able to feel. To trust. How can I not?" His seriousness gave way to passion. "I feel it every time you are with me. A living part in you that isn't dead yet. And as long as that part is still alive in you, that part I already fell in love with, I will keep to what I said, that I would like to spend my time with you. Although you think me too young and too inexperienced. Too naïve, certainly. Too incapable?"
"I do not..."
"You do. Don't lie to me."
She smirked. "Doesn't that make you a masochist to stay with me?"
"Perhaps it does?" Anduin sighed. "None other than my feelings for you carried me here, to Havenswood, Sylvanas. The notable want to see you again. The want to make love to you. It's... overpowering."
She remained silent, but her eyes rested on him.
"Will you think about it?" His tone became insistent. "To make a commitment? Give me a chance, Sylvanas! Let's try and decide for ourselves if it works or not. — Unless you love another? Which I don't know to this day either, to dwell on another subject."
Why was she suddenly certain that if he persevered, he would succeed in persuading her to yield? Sylvanas hadn't wanted to busy herself with such a topic, being conscious that Nathanos — who seemed to suspect her doing something outside the box, according to Areiel — was still not aware of her meetings with the High King of the Alliance. Her champion was especially not aware of the intimacy she shared with Anduin since then. Aching with pain and cursing herself, she lashed out. "How about we speak of your daddy issues?"
"Why do you come up with my father again?" He replied, the pang of loss in his voice unmistakable, fighting also a rush of sudden weariness.
"To make you aware that there are some limits you should not test."
Anduin got agitated of her avoiding the subject altogether when all he wanted was an honest answer. "How about asking about your sisters?" he argued, "I know they're still alive. Which my father isn't, Sylvanas. So open up your eyes to use the time you have left—"
She angrily cut him off. "You don't know how our last meeting went —"
By the Light, Anduin didn't want to fight with her. "I know a bit about it because Turalyon told me," he said tiredly.
"Alleria's man?"
"Yes, the one."
Her eyes glowed. "The one who made her follow him into a thousand-year war —"
"It's not like I wouldn't have followed you there, too, if it had been the both of us," Anduin calmly interrupted her.
Sylvanas stared at him, shocked again because she knew he spoke the truth. It took a while until she found her abrasive voice again. "What is it about human men and leaving everything behind and..."
"It's called love, Sylvanas," was Anduin's dry reply while he sank on the sheets. "And I guess that's exactly the point that had all three Windrunner sisters drawn to human men..."
"I —"
"You won't tell me you didn't feel the same for Nathanos."
There was one thing she would never ever deny. "I did."
He was speechless for a moment, baffled that he had gotten an answer from her. "I asked you before in Vol'dun," his eyes searched hers, and he took her cold hands in his, "why you said to me this was your first time, too? Your answer is still outstanding."
"Hell, Anduin, it was a kind of first time for me!"
"First time since being an undead?"
"Yes."
"Why... why didn't you try with Nathanos?"
"Will you stop asking?"
"I'm just trying to evaluate —"
"You are the one who got me in bed, so what's the point here?"
That wasn't what he had aimed for. Very gently, but also quite sad, he commented: "There's a part of you that still loves him."
"There may be a part, but it's..." She left the rest open, slipping her hands out of his and rolling away to stand.
Coming up, he held her back by softly placing his hand on her shoulder. "Sylvanas, will you honestly answer me if you're still a couple? At least it seems so the way Nathanos acts."
The Warchief of the Horde sighed. This could be her way out of it. To tell Anduin that she and Nathanos were still involved — they were, but in another sense — would solve all of her problems. But the young king's question, his direct manner, and the feelings she now knew were behind it made her want to offer no falsehood. A part of her was angry that she felt that she owed him, but the pure, unadulterated truth was that Anduin didn't deserve to be lied to. How come she found herself caught in a net of weaknesses of the living? Wasn't she the Banshee Queen? Had anybody ever showed consideration for her? She groaned. What did the boy-king make her do? "I said to you that being Forsaken is..."
Anduin wasn't willing to let her off the hook. "Give me a clear answer, Sylvanas. Yes or no?"
She cursed herself for realizing that his persistent inquiring got through to her. "Not in the way you think."
He was confused. "Which way do I think?"
"We don't share... the bed, for example."
"So what do you share? Relationships can be based on other things. It mustn't always be first and foremost the bed."
She looked at him for a moment. "Do you want to tell me that ours is not based mostly on... sex?"
"You tell me. Is it?" Only the notion of her approval of him mentioning the word 'relationship' covered the letdown of her feelings not being equal to his. But he wasn't inclined to give answers first.
Neither was she. "It's your turn, Anduin."
"I'm pretty certain I told you all I feel about you... and that doesn't relate to only in bed."
"Hmmm."
"Light, Sylvanas, just give me something I can keep and carry with me —" He sighed, his impatience concerning her mixed with a growing sense of hopelessness. "Is that so difficult for you?"
The heaviness of their conversation frustrated her because it traced back to having to make a decision one day. Not yet! It was still dark outside. She turned to face him and touch his chest, enjoying the warmth of his body under her fingertips. The warmth that mirrored his kindness and openness. "You have to tell me again why I left such an everlasting impression on you," she teased him, hoping to distract him and wanting to keep to the easiness of just being with him that she always craved the most.
"I do?" For a moment, he grew tired of the game she was playing with him.
She smirked, reading his reaction on his face, and suddenly felt vulnerable again. Damn this young boy-king, who was about to catch her heart for all he gave her so unconditionally! "How come my dark beauty appeals to you, light-wielder?"
Anduin rolled his eyes, sensing the unspoken question behind it, but chose to answer the blunt truth. "It's not all because of your beauty, Sylvanas. I told you."
"What else is there? I'm undead."
He closed his eyes for a moment. "Contradictions?"
"You won't admit it was my beauty that made you give in."
"I won't because that's not it."
"Do I detect a bizarre fascination for the darkness as a follower of the Light in you, then?"
"Are you fishing for compliments now? I fear it's just you, Sylvanas."
"I'm certain I'm a far cry from your usual taste."
"Do I have one?"
"How about the dark-haired young black dragon?"
"How about the Warchief of the Horde?"
"I'm serious."
"As am I. I had feelings for you before I even realized it." He reopened his eyes and looked at her in earnest. Did she need reassurance that the right decisions were taken? "You woke a passion in me I didn't even know existed, nor I could possess."
"See, dear boy-king, you are in for boring, young women or young men who adore you and look up at you."
He burst out laughing. "You think me way more a saint and perfect human being than I really am. I do, too, have grim thoughts, Sylvanas. I harbor anger and other dark feelings in me as well."
What went wrong? She almost sounded like Genn. He wondered why she brought up the same topic over and over again. He heard Alonsus Faol telling him once that 'nobody would come back from death unchanged'. Did it apply to Sylvanas, too? Was this the reason she never believed him to be genuine in his feelings? Why she had these emotional reactions beyond her control when things went sideways? It made his next words so much more important. "You must know —," his look lingered on her, "I truly stand by my word. That you give me a feeling of comfort. That you don't judge me for what I am. That you let me be who I am..."
She raised her eyebrows. "The most stubborn prat I ever met."
"I just call it my belief in what I do is right." Anduin raised a smile and decided to pick up the thread for the last try. "I beg you, Sylvanas. Be honest with me."
She often mocked his stubbornness, but at this point, she could not anymore! He drove her into despair, one she had been in for so many years. However, it seemed she wasn't spared anything at all and had to walk through it because Anduin was adamant.
"Tell me what you expect from me. Light," he took a deep breath, "I even accept that I'll die on that battlefield..." He stopped for a moment. "But let me know where I stand with you, Sylvanas."
There was a deathly hush. Glowing red eyes bored into bright blue.
Then, Sylvanas acted and took his face in both of her hands. For the first time, she didn't hide the despair and the constant pain he threw her in. Should she tell him that she had always been very cavalier about sowing seeds of her own destruction? That deep down within her, a part of her which was once an elf wanted her torment to end? Wanted to finally rest? And what a better way than through Anduin's loving hand? That the choice to be what she now was had never been hers, that she had been the product of an unspeakable act of violation to her person? That she knew by herself, looking in Anduin's eyes, that she had become that monstrous thing Arthas made her into when he turned her into a Banshee?
Yet — here Anduin was, all human and gentleness, offering her a choice, and waiting for commitment. How had she won his heart? The one of a benevolent and soft soul? Why did she have to meet him now, when she was consigned to other decisions that were already in the making?
"I don't know, Anduin. I can't... I can't give you a proper answer." She trembled and forced the truth out of her. "You are the erratic variable in my undeath. The only one I haven't calculated to this day."
"If it's love, please don't hate it," he whispered to her after some hesitation while he sank back on the sheets again and made Sylvanas lie on top of him.
OFF THE SHORE OF HAVENSWOOD
The moment the thunderstorm lessened and the fog lifted, it became early morning and bright. Grand-Admiral Jes-Tereth hadn't dared set sail as long as it was dark not to risk and endanger the lives of her crew. Despite that, she worried a great deal about the young king. Fortunately, 'Tiffin's Melody' had defied the strong winds and the rain.
So had the 'Banshee's Wail' and Dread-Admiral Tattersail. However, it was the same for the female Forsaken. The storm wouldn't diminish throughout the whole night. If she were not to endanger her crew, suspecting that the Alliance ship and perhaps another Vrykul vessel were still out there, too, there was no other chance than to let the ship float. Knowing the raiders didn't care about the weather, but rather about success, being on the open sea was the better option.
When morning came, she gladly set sail again, hoping the Banshee Queen found what she was looking for and was ready to depart. Still, she wondered what this stunt had been about. The suspicions strengthened that there was a kind of meeting taking place, the Dark Lady didn't anybody want to know about. Since she had been made Warchief, the Forsaken hadn't been her first focus anymore. And somehow, although Tattersail personally was quite proud that a Forsaken stood now on the top of the Horde, she had a feeling the Forsaken lost their leader in one way or another. Blightcaller spent most of his time doing important errands for the Dark Lady, the Desolate Council had been destroyed in the Arathi Fields debacle, and the rest of the Forsaken moved to Orgrimmar after Undercity was left in ruins without much active leadership. They had lost their home, but the Orc city had yet to learn to get comfortable with so many Forsaken around.
HAVENSWOOD
In the silence that followed, Anduin had given in to his exhaustion and slept for a bit. Sylvanas rested upon him, just listening to his steady human heartbeat. When she felt touched like this, aware of him still being alive, the anger and the hatred she always carried in her diminished but the fear that her feelings for him would overtake rose. Would this battle inside of her ever stop? The power he began to have over her drifted into new dimensions. Her longing for him was so obvious! The emotions he stirred in her demanded satisfying, and every time, the satisfaction needed getting bigger and bigger. Their sexual intercourse worked better. It made her addicted to giving in such trivialities which shouldn't bother her anymore — but hell, they did bother her, gratifying and satiating her strong desires. It was this or nothing!
She straightened up in a fit of panic and Anduin, immediately missing her closeness and also the coolness that had been comfortable in his hot state, woke up and gripped her hand.
"Stay. It's still raining," he murmured dozily.
Sylvanas turned back to him, eyes resting on him while brooding over how to proceed. She could see traces of his father in the young king again, especially in the strong line of his determined jaw. His blue eyes searched hers, and she could feel the touch of something foreign and unsettling in her once more. Was she about to fall in love with him? To avoid any further thinking, she kissed him and took him by surprise. All of a sudden, he was wide awake.
"Light, you don't leave a moment to breathe," he groaned.
She paused. "Do you need one? Didn't you tell me our time is rare?"
"No." He declined, half laughing, half-serious. "Kiss me." It was hard to admit that he needed her, the way she made him feel, the way she made him not want to give her up. "Light, kiss me, Sylvanas, I need your sweet, tough love."
"Hmmm, humans are more ravenous than I always assumed." She smirked but kissed him again.
Anduin couldn't resist a smile, knowing he was teased. "Yes and no. You have to imagine a lonely boy, Sylvanas —," and here he suddenly stopped, knowing he was telling her another secret, but continued, "who was too shy to ask questions, so the only available thing was my eyes. I used them a lot, to get to know what I didn't dare ask."
Her smirk stayed. "Curious and a quick learner?"
He smiled again. "I grew up in a castle, Sylvanas. Not so many places to hide once you got to know all the secrets and floors and corridors. I was very good at finding my path through the Keep and saw a lot of things following those secret passages —"
"Why didn't you ask?"
"Proper human education... and because I was often told to be quiet and stop asking questions so I wouldn't get into trouble."
Sylvanas nodded, surprisingly. "You're not the first to tell me about this."
"Let me guess. Nathanos?"
Oh yes, he had managed to bring the topic up again. She rolled her eyes. "Did you think I would not notice..."
"He's the human connection to you," Anduin interrupted her, "and I'm still trying to connect the dots to where he caught you."
"Jealous?"
"Only curious over parts of your life you persistently won't give me an answer to."
"I was right about the stubborn prat."
He smiled. "My father once said to me that I have my mother's strength that could move the world. I'll try to move yours right now, if you haven't noticed."
She passed over the second part and addressed the first one instead. "Why do you miss your father so much, Anduin?"
"You were already very unerring the first time you talked about my 'daddy issues'. Yet, you never told me about your sister issues."
"There's not much to tell."
"You feel like they abandoned you."
She preferred to keep quiet.
"What went wrong between Alleria, Vereesa and you?"
Sylvanas laughed a hard laugh. "What do you want to hear, Anduin? They're not as loyal as my Forsaken are. — I have a divided family..." It wasn't the first time words were failing her, but this time, the simmering emotions pained her too much. How could life be so cruel to her when she had given all for it? "I... why do you ask so many things, Anduin?" The crack in her armor became visible again, and she hated it. "We can't continue like this. What does it matter? Ours is a cycle of hatred. Alliances forged and broken."
He was torn whether or not dealing with another detailed discussion of war that was based on ideological hatred was never good, pretty much what the Alliance and Horde conflict had always been from the earliest days, as far as he could judge. Would this hate for one another for past crimes never end? Would that hatred never be internalized or dealt with by any means other than fighting over it? It tipped the scales.
"I don't want another quarrel, Sylvanas," Anduin sighed. "If that is what you believe, then let me ask you once more, why did you bother to take me into your bed? To meet me? Even speak to me?" he queried with a frown.
"That is... where I failed spectacularly, Anduin," she replied bitterly. "I was an overconfident Warchief. It was my mistake."
He was stunned. "Overconfident? About what?"
She hesitated, deciding for the truth. "I convinced myself you would never... get through to me."
He focused on her, treating with care with what he was about to say. "I don't have a feeling I really got through to you. I still don't have an answer as to why you don't give me a chance to be with you —"
Anger flared brightly inside Sylvanas. "You try my patience dangerously by raising this topic over and over again! I will bring the Alliance to its knees, Anduin, the Horde will be victorious —"
He was so tired of her platitudes thrown into his face. It seemed another collision between them was unstoppable. "You mean," Anduin countered, "you're enacting your own fate over and over and over? You're incapable of dealing with what Arthas did to your very being, and now it has become the ironic echo repeatedly replicating your fate on others while you simultaneously decry your own state of being?"
Inarticulate with rage, she stared at him.
"You are right, any Alliance or Horde individual can pick and choose their issues with the other faction from a garden of grievances — all of them real and raw, from the historic to the contemporary. This will never stop if you, as the Warchief of the Horde, won't choose to break the same cycle of mindless destruction. You are the best example of a human's wrongdoing, Sylvanas —"
She sent him a look filled with hatred. "I don't need your pity."
"I don't pity you, I pity Arthas."
"He's in the hell he deserves!"
"As are you?"
She came to a halt.
"Let me phrase it better: as you will be? Because that's what you fear? Because that's why you impersonate death yourself. To master it? To never face the darkness again? Are you only done when the world is tipped into utter dissolution?"
"You..."
"In this context, living forever sounds like horror to me, Sylvanas."
She was shocked and her face showed shadows. "You will believe me when you face your own darkness, little lion, but then it'll be too late."
He smiled to take the edge off his next words. "I most probably will, Sylvanas. But I don't mind. I know that there's one thing that carries me through it all."
She snorted. "Still that ingenious fool I believe you to be?"
"Perhaps I am a fool."
"And what will this thing be?" She laughed derisively. "Your Light?"
"No," Anduin kept the small smile on his face when he shook his head. "The flame will vanish and hop onto another."
"Of course it will. As I told you."
"You did, I remember."
She was curious against her will. "So what else could it be? The memories?"
"No, Sylvanas. No such thing. You can call it a feeling I will carry with me forever."
"A feeling?"
"My love for you."
And Sylvanas muted, not wanting to believe what he said with such seriousness and confirmation that it hurt. His openness disarmed her every time. No, she couldn't find any witty remark to counter. No. It was something she understood all too well by herself, having loved Nathanos for so long that it went beyond life. In this, Anduin was indeed right. Reminded of the living part in her, the young king had managed to kick her from being undead again. And it was painful. Because if she was honest to herself – what was left for her that would carry her through the darkness? Nothing.
She felt stabbed into her heart. In the end, she would be left alone. Again, and always.
With a yelp, she fled from his arms, out of the bed and towards her clothes. Hell, she had forgotten how much being with the living hurt. She should've put a stop to meeting with Anduin for as long as she was able to do so! But she had ignored the signs. Blindly, she grabbed her clothes and turned towards the staircase —
Only to be held back by two strong arms. "Don't go yet." Anduin's voice was ragged, breathless, and hurt. He turned her around to him, locking his eyes with hers. "My apologies... I... I..."
"You only said the truth, Anduin, as always," Sylvanas murmured to him, suddenly clinging to him, letting go of her clothes, burying herself in his arms. The big black pit opened up in front of her again. "Hell, Anduin, I don't deserve your love. Just go and give it to someone else who deserves it!" She almost yelled at him, shook him, only to grip him stronger, a part of her simply not wanting to let go of the young king who gifted her with a love she hadn't asked for but wanted all of it nevertheless.
He shook his head. "And why shouldn't you deserve it?"
"Because I'm irredeemable, Anduin!" She screamed at him, but instead of letting her go, he kissed her. Hard. To stop her from saying anything further.
"Stay with me until I'm dead or undead, Sylvanas. That's all I ask," he murmured into her mouth, still kissing her, holding her and trying desperately to prove to her what he meant. "Just be with me, Sylvanas. For the time given," he gently insisted. "Don't stress yourself with what-ifs... just be with me. I need you for my happiness."
"You will meet someone else, Anduin. I'm in too much darkness. It'll never work."
"I don't want to, Sylvanas. All I want is you. Just... you have taken a lot from me, but you have given a lot of back." He kissed her again, felt how she reacted. "Look, here we are equal. I don't care... about the rest. Stay with me. Don't break my heart, Sylvanas. I won't survive it."
"Overly dramatic?"
"Just telling you how it feels."
A searching look met him. She knew she acted against all that she had come for, but he woke a longing in her she simply couldn't suppress. "If I were to meet you again, Anduin, can you accept my conditions?"
"And what are your conditions, if I may ask?"
"We meet in secret. This stays between us."
"You still want to keep the secrecy up?"
"I can send you Areiel."
"You can? Or you will?"
"There are things I have to... prepare for first." She knew it was only an excuse, and she knew that he knew.
"Prepare for what? Political shenanigans?"
"Do not... do not start another political talk with me again, Anduin."
He looked away for a moment, emotions battling in him. "I have no choice here, have I?"
Bound and determined, she turned his face back towards her. "You have a choice with something else — since your favorite tauren freed Derek Proudmoore, I had to punish him. He's held as a prisoner in Orgrimmar's underground."
He glanced at her, stunned. "Why... why do you mention such a thing?"
"So you know?"
"I would've probably sooner or later known about it."
"I know your spymaster has his eyes everywhere." Sylvanas rolled her eyes.
"So do you see my point of Areiel protecting us now?" he countered.
Her eyes glowed red. "That's not the point. I mentioned Baine Bloodhoof because it gives you the possibility to free him. To do it."
"And why would you want me to do it, Sylvanas?"
"Don't you want to free him? He's your friend, is he not?"
He frowned. "A friendship you forbade and threatened him with."
"That's not the point either."
"Then what is? Do you want the Alliance to free him to keep up your reputation in the Horde? That's — how do my soldiers say so poignantly? — 'bullshit', and you know it." He shook his head. "No, you have another machination going on in the background."
She turned her head to the side and evaded his piercing look. Was she ready to tell him that there was more at stake here? What her real plans were? No. She had already confessed more than she wanted — although she was well aware that her secrets were better kept in no one else's hands than in Anduin's. Yet, he would be disappointed and would turn away from her if he knew her plans, she didn't deceive herself. But not right now, she defiantly told herself when the despair got a hold on her. Right now, she wanted to take all that he gave her, and her decision gave her back some inner peace.
"One day, you will understand what this is all about, Anduin."
"I will? Light, Sylvanas, you throw me into this without giving me any guarantee?"
She kissed him to stop him from saying more. For once, she wanted to prove to him that making love wasn't one-sided. She directed him back to the bed and climbed him, all the while not stopping kissing him lovingly and affectionately. Cold lips on full lips. She slid her hand around the back of Anduin's neck, delighted by the warm skin she found and the growl it drew from the back of his throat.
Anduin's immediate surprise didn't last long. Fully aware of what she was doing, his appreciation at the flood of sensations obvious, he pulled her closer.
The way she kissed him this time... was different. Taking her time without the usual urgency, haste, and desire she displayed otherwise. Their tongues connected, played and swirled around each other. Then, she took his head into both of her hands. He groaned. Light, she knew how to turn him on! He let her control the kiss and enjoyed the emotions coursing through him, pulling all he needed out of them — they fueled his Light power, healing a part of him that had been hurt before. It convinced him that they belonged together and that he had found in her what he was always searching for: the other half of him. She felt so good against him, so right, it was... mind-blowing.
Sylvanas, on the other hand, dived deep into the feelings Anduin presented her with, knowing she could grow addicted to them. Had she to tell him that her body was starved for touch that promised pleasure and not pain? How much she hungered for the feeling of his warm, soft skin against her cold one? Still? Every time he touched her? Just like he had done before, she wanted to show him the same. That their worlds might collide at many other points, that issues were outstanding and would most likely be outstanding forever, but in making love, they acted in concert, and she wanted to let him know it. The pull in her was so strong that she stopped resisting and instead went for it, devoted to it.
Getting her hands on his skin, caressing, scratching and making Anduin answer with groans, gasps, and writhing underneath her. She relished the play of his muscles under her fingertips, drew everything she was able to feel out of it and allowed it of herself — for the first time — in wanting to get to know as much as possible from him. Besides the usual sex, she reached for the stars this time. Anduin was splayed out for her pleasure while she stretched out over the young man, getting high from every contact, and losing herself in exploration, tasting skin and reactions. From head to toe and back, doing what the living did.
She had forgotten about when she had done it the last time, but she pushed the thought away, it wasn't important. They both were here, now, Anduin with her. His sighs, ragged breaths and deep moans, they all crawled through her body like black fire. Just like in Thelsamar, the fire brought her alive and didn't incinerate her. Hell, he made her wish to leave her marks on him, using her teeth, her tongue, bites, and suction on all his sensitive body parts and getting him louder every time she did it.
Until Anduin couldn't withstand anymore. The sheer intensity Sylvanas seduced him with, dedicating herself to his pleasure and touches, told him again this coupling of theirs was different. While he had loved her before, it was her now doing it like the rumbling thunderstorm outside. And it completely floored him. And as much as he wanted to last forever, he hungered for the final release. His overall exhaustion might have played a role, too.
"Take me." His voice was low and full of passion. "Light, take me, Sylvanas..."
She wanted to tease him, but she decided against it this time and followed his request. Slowly, she took possession of his erection, and he gasped. Driving him to the brink by taking her time. She could feel his heart racing and that he was close proved when he cupped her and began to stimulate her clit. To her surprise, she orgasmed fast, the situation itself — to simply watch and listen to him — had been such a turn on for her, she hadn't realized it before. She rode through her blissful ecstasy only to see Anduin working hard for his composure, trying to give her the deserved pleasure, too. And kissing him as thanks for it was all it took. His body tensed, and his silence spoke more than words when he shattered beneath her. In making love, they were in balance.
They just enjoyed lying on the bed, tightly hugged, their bodies pressed together, eyes closed afterward. Anduin stroked over Sylvanas' curves, glad she was here with him. Comfortably tired, he needed a bit before his brain was able to pick up on where their important conversation had ended. He cleared his throat.
"You said I will understand what this is all about?" His reopened eyes on her, he took a deep breath. "I will when it's already too late? — Sylvanas, tell me what's your purpose with bringing the whole Horde up against you! Why do you intend to do so? Why not reach for peaceful negotiations with me?" He shook his blond head sadly. "Does it mean you prepare me for all... or you prepare us, the Alliance and the Horde, for whatever is to come?"
Immediately, she turned away for him not to see how much his remark hit her because he didn't know how close to the truth he was. Her clever little lion. Yet, it was needed, that revolution against her. It was the only way to unite them and give her the chance to do what was needed in the long run. And contrary to what Anduin believed, history told Sylvanas enough that sometimes the only way to get two hostile nations together unconditionally was in uniting them against a third enemy. In this manner, it got both out of guilt and fighting personal animosities enemies better forged together than peace negotiations.
But it meant she would – most probably – lose him. Forever. The agony that rushed through her body came unprepared. She started to tremble, trying to suppress tears that threatened to spill.
Anduin saw it, and felt helpless and in pain that she didn't let him in. Fearing for those reasons, however, he pushed them aside and gently turned her face back to him. "Sylvanas. — Won't you give us a chance? Is it such a messy situation you can't find a way back, you, the most brilliant strategist I have ever met and known?" He steeled himself before he carried on. "Or is it decided, the fate, as you already told me when we met in the Stockades? Did you decide it?"
She looked in his bright blue eyes and didn't know what to say. Her strangely echoing voice became emotional. "Just... believe in your faith, Anduin," she choked, "you will be saved. I promise."
She let go of him, stood up and fished for her armor, getting dressed. The beginning daylight that crawled through the window of the lighthouse announced dawn had broken, and there wasn't much time left until their ships arrived, and the search for them started.
He stared at her back, realizing she told him something here he should insist on getting to know more about, but he also realized what kind of turmoil she was in —
"Somehow, you sound like you're saying goodbye." His tone was a strange mixture — regret, bitterness, and condescension —but Sylvanas was too bewildered to take much notice.
He moved and dressed, too, and waited until she turned back to him.
"I am saying goodbye. For now. I have one bargain to uphold, Anduin."
A feeling of desire, longing, loneliness, and anguish from being torn away from the only person he desired deeply caught Anduin. His gaze never left her as she walked up to him, pulled him closer and kissed him. Why did it taste like the last kiss?
"I don't want you to go," Anduin breathed, still lost in all those feelings.
"Will you believe me when I say — I'm flying on my own?" she whispered in his ear, being herself on a low point. Perhaps that was the reason why she also added in a very serious tone: "There's something I must do, Anduin."
He sighed while he leaned his forehead against hers. "I can feel it."
"Don't... don't..." She almost despaired. "I must."
"Am I standing between you and the something?"
"You..." she hesitated, "you came in unexpectedly, as I told you before."
He smiled a sad smile. "As if I haven't noticed."
"You said to me that I should trust you. So let me ask the same of you, Anduin. Will you trust me?"
Anduin didn't know what to answer. She said those important words with a tone he never heard from her before. Pained. Outspoken. The feeling in his heart heavy, the only answer he chose to come up with was: "You know I did from the beginning — so will you promise me one thing?"
A half-open, half-doubting look of glowing red eyes met him. "Anduin —"
He didn't let her finish. "Let me be the Light in your Darkness." He squeezed her cold hands. "Wherever you must go, don't let darkness and death consume you. Please."
And then he gave her a light kiss, forced himself to step back and went down the stairs without looking back, leaving the lighthouse in search of 'Tiffin's Melody'.
And Sylvanas was left without knowing what she shouldn't feel: Love? Faith? Hope? Or his trust in her? The always accompanying pain of all these positive emotions echoed in her deeply.
STORMWIND KEEP
Not long after arriving around midday at Stormwind harbor and hurrying back to the Keep, Anduin summoned a meeting for the very same afternoon. While refreshing himself and taking a late lunch, he thought about what to say and how to say it, that he planned a rescue mission for Baine. At best, his spymaster already knew about it. In the worst case, he was forced to admit to having a source among the Horde which was not Valeera, but Baine's life was at risk, so he was inclined to take a chance, whether it meant he was cross-examined by Shaw or not.
Otherwise, he fiercely tried to hold the rest of his turbulent thoughts under tight wraps.
To keep the meeting private, he only called for Shaw, Jaina, and the Alliance's Champion, who arrived on time in the Throne Room. Coming straight to the point, Anduin spoke to them.
"We are faced with a dire situation —"
He was interrupted by Mathias Shaw who seemed to know what he wanted to say. "Our spies report that the Banshee has ordered the execution of Baine Bloodhoof."
"We must rescue him at once." Anduin nodded. "I know what I ask of you. To infiltrate Orgrimmar..."
He wasn't surprised when Jaina joined in. "I will do it."
She earned a serious side glance from Shaw. "Are you certain? It's an immense risk."
Jaina only smiled and gesticulated with her hands. "Baine defied his Warchief by returning Derek to us. To me. He's risked more than anyone," she explained. "If Baine dies, we might lose our last hope of bringing this war to a peaceful end. And peace is worth the risk."
Anduin's reply to his aunt was filled with warmth. "Thank you, Jaina. There isn't much time, so make haste. May the Light be with you all."
Shaw nodded to Jaina, too. "Let me accompany you again, Lady Jaina."
She sent him a smile. "You're more than welcome, Master Shaw. Thank you."
Anduin sighed, weighing for one moment whether he should tell the two of them about their mission being in no real danger because the Warchief of the Horde already had consented to the quest, but decided against it. He still wondered why she had told him about it. And there was something else he remembered —
"A brief moment, Master Shaw."
The blunt face of his spymaster turned towards him. "What is required, your majesty?"
"You know about Varok Saurfang still being around Stormwind?"
There was a slight hesitation before Mathias answered. "Why do you ask, your majesty?"
"Because I would like to ask the High Overlord something."
"I may have heard rumors."
"I'm certain you did, Master Shaw. Can you follow them?"
"I'll do my best, your majesty. For the Alliance, of course?"
Jaina intervened. "What do you want to accomplish by searching for Varok Saurfang, Anduin?"
Anduin's face went grim for a moment. "Perhaps, Jaina, peace is worth another risk."
Jaina only nodded, suspecting what Anduin was hinting at. If Saurfang hadn't returned to Sylvanas' Horde yet, he certainly must've had his reasons. Which could be an advantage for the Alliance?
Mathias understood what the young king was aiming for, too, and added: "I will task someone immediately with it, your majesty."
The three of them left the Throne Room, and Anduin, alone, let his mind wander.
Sometimes... regrettable things have to be done in order to maintain peace, Anduin. Just why did he have to think of his father right now? And of what he had said to him? Why had Sylvanas denied him the chance of being with her? Why? They still lived in two different worlds. Was there ever a bridge to be found? Between alive and undead? She evaded all his questions. Gave him no answer. What else was he to conclude other than that she still didn't want peace? Perhaps there was another solution possible, then? Perhaps Saurfang was out there and likely securing a coalition to oppose her? A coalition the Alliance could team up with to end the war?
And in a kind of twisted thinking, perhaps that was exactly what Sylvanas wanted them to do? Uniting the factions in fighting against her? To create a common enemy so nobody except her would lose their faces? It was the strongest reason that ever worked towards their favor, and had done so in the whole history of Azeroth and the history of the Horde and the Alliance: They had been at their strongest when united against an enemy.
A sense of unease and foreboding quickly descended on Anduin. One of the two of them had to cross a line, one day. He hoped Sylvanas would be the one to do it. Deliberately. But it seemed it would be him to say farewell to his life. To save hers? And all the others? Anduin closed his eyes, lost for a moment. He prayed for the right solution.
Oh, Sylvanas. I wished you told me what this is all about. I wish you would trust me, completely, and not only to a certain degree.
Would he betray her trust if he switched to Saurfang's side?
