Chapter 18

Kensi decided to stay in LA for awhile longer. She realized she didn't really anything to back to in San Diego except a job that was becoming more and more meaningless. While she'd been at Hetty's, Hetty had convinced her to stop by the mission, see what's changed, see what's still the same, and maybe say hi to the team.

Kensi was hesitant when Hetty first mentioned it, but she realized that there was no harm in it. They'd probably gotten over any hurt feelings by now. Kensi had mostly gotten over her guilt. She should at least try to build a relationship with them again.

Kensi pulled into her normal parking spot at the mission, and just stayed in her car for awhile. She was thinking about what she would say to them, and what they would think. After about 15 minutes, she glanced at the clock in her car, noting that it was 10:30 and everyone should be there. She got out of her car and walked up to the camera at the front door. She assumed whoever was in Ops recognized her because the door was automatically unlocked and she walked in. She walked down the tunnel towards the bullpen, and before she even got there, Nell came barreling out of the armory and gave Kensi a big bear hug.

"Kensi! What are you doing here?" Nell asked, with a surprised tone.

"I figured it had been long enough. I decided to stop by."

"It's been so long, Kens. Why didn't you call me or at least stop by and say hi?"

"After the divorce, things were hard. I was pretty sure that everyone here would take Deeks' side. I thought everyone hated me. I ended up moving to San Diego again. Things were just easier there."

"But we were never mad at you. We're family, but we didn't get involved at all with your divorce. We just wanted the best for both of you. If that meant you two getting a divorce, then so be it. I didn't exactly expect to lose you though. If I'm being honest, I expected Deeks to leave."

"Well, that's a long story, and a story I'm not willing to tell yet."

Kensi continued walking down the tunnel and finally made it to the bullpen. She peeled her head around the corner to see Sam and Callen sitting next to each. It looked like Sam had been moved to Kensi old desk and Deek's new partner had taken Sam's. Deeks was sitting at his desk, typing away, and Sam and Callen were chatting away.

Sam was the first to notice Kensi. Being the normal Sam, he didn't automatically jump up to greet her. Kensi silently motioned for Sam to follow her and then silently walked away. Sam casually got up and followed behind Kensi.

"Do my eyes deceive me? Did badass Blye finally come back?" Sam said, once he was far enough away from the team. The pair had gathered in the armory.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Why did you leave us?" Sam asked, with no malice meant.

"After the divorce, things were hard. I had to get away. Divorcing someone you've spent over a decade with is just as hard, if not harder than you could imagine."

"But you didn't even really say goodbye. You just kind of left."

"I know, and I'm sorry. The reason is one I'm not willing to share. I'm sorry that I left. I didn't mean for things to go the way they did, but they did."

"It's ok. I'm just glad you're back now. How've you been?"

"Wow, that's the question of the year, isn't it? My life's been crazy."

"How so?"

"Well, I moved to San Diego. I meant someone at the San Diego field office. We'd been dating for a few months when we got into a car accident. We were t-boned on the passenger side. He did at the hospital. I suffered multiple broken bones. I was actually staying at Hetty's for the past two months."

"I'm so sorry, Kens."

"It's ok. It's not your fault, it's mine. If I had just stayed in LA, it wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have met him, we wouldn't have been in the car together, and I wouldn't have broken any bones. But things happen for a reason. What happened, happened and there's nothing I can do about it."

"You shouldn't blame yourself."

"I know, but I do. Anyway, how've you been?" Kensi asked, deflecting this tough conversation away from her.

"Well, I've been pretty good. Nicole and I moved in together and things have been pretty good. Deeks' new partner is extremely green and is quite annoying."

"Whose his new partner?"

"Her name is Rachel Keller. She's just shy of 26. This is her first assignment. Hetty chose her because she was top of her class at FLETC and her parents were both in the Navy."

"Is she pretty?"

"Yes, but she's married if you can believe it. She didn't try to hit on Deeks, if that's what you were wondering."

"I wasn't, but good to know."

The pair walked back out to the bullpen, and Kensi gained enough courage to show herself in front of Deeks. At this point, Deeks' new partner was in her desk. Kensi realized pretty was an understatement. She was stunning. She had beautiful blonde, beach waves, that stretched down to the middle of her back. She had greenish-blue eyes, tanned skin, a flawless no makeup/makeup look. She was practically perfect. Kensi felt a slight pang of jealousy. She didn't know why, she just did.

Deeks looked up from his computer to see Kensi standing at the entrance of the bullpen. He didn't really what to think or how to feel. Should he ignore? Should he act friendly? Should he talk to her at all? Deeks decided to just continue typing.

"Kensi!" Callen exclaimed, excitedly. He jumped up and hugged her, an quietly said they'll talk later.

"Hi." Kensi said, shyly, not knowing what else to say.

"You must be Kensi Blye. I've heard about you." The probie said.

"Good things, I hope." Kensi said, with an awkward laugh.

"I'm Rachel Keller. I'm Marty's new partner." Rachel said as she extended her hand to Kensi for a handshake.

When Kensi heard her call him Marty, she pulled back her hand, and moved back from Rachel.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked, confused.

"Uh, nothing. Sorry." Kensi said, as she quickly shook Rachel's hand, trying to act like nothing was wrong.

A few minutes later, Eric came rushing down, along with Fatima. Nell came down a little after them, having already seen Kensi.

"Kensi!" Eric exclaimed, as he threw himself at Kensi. Kensi welcomed him with mostly open arms.

After the initial greeting was over, Nell and Kensi gathered in the armory. Kensi was going to explain to Nell what happened.

"So, what happened that caused you to leave LA?"

"Well, there's actually a lot of things before me leaving LA."

"Ok." Nell said, prompting Kensi to continue.

"When Deeks and I got divorced, I went to live with my mom. She made me realize that I was pregnant. I was scared because I had just divorced the love of my life and now I was pregnant. I was determined that I didn't want the baby. I told Deeks, and he said he would keep the baby. Only a few hours after I gave birth, full custody of the baby was given to Deeks."

"This baby is Taylor. He said that you two had been trying to adopt, and then this was the baby you'd adopted together but then you left. I'm assuming that's a lie."

"Yeah, Taylor's biologically mine and his. I didn't talk to Deeks for the first year of Taylor's life. For about a week after Taylor's first birthday, we were on good terms. We were finally becoming a real family. That all ended when he told me he was seeing someone else. I left again, and ended up moving to San Diego. I transferred to the San Diego field office, and I started a new life there. I even met someone there. We were in LA for him to meet my mom. Things didn't go very well. We were driving back to San Diego from her house and we were T-boned in the passenger side. He died in the hospital and I suffered multiple broken bones. I actually stayed at Hetty's house for the past 2 months, recovering."

"Wow."

"I know, it's a lot. Going in that bullpen and seeing him was a lot too. Especially knowing that she's his partner."

"Kensi, she's married. She hasn't tried to and I don't think ever would hit on him."

"I know that. And I know that I shouldn't be jealous, because he's not my husband anymore. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I'm not jealous."

"You're still in love with him, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am. I didn't want to get divorced."

"Then why did you?"

"That's a whole other story for a whole other day."

Kensi and Nell walked back out to the Bullpen and Deeks again ignored Kensi.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but we've caught a case." Eric said, tapping a few things on his tablet.

The team started heading upstairs, and before Deeks walks out of the bullpen, Kensi caught his arm.

"Can we talk?"

"Kensi, I have to go. I can't do this right now."

"Please."

Deeks stared into her eyes and saw how badly she wanted this.

"Fine."

Deeks sat down on the couch and waited for Kensi to join him.

"I'm sorry for what happened on the beach. I should've just walked away." Kensi said.

"Gaby and I broke up." Deeks said, not really leading the conversation logically.

"What?"

"After you walked away, I caught up with her and she said that I had to chose between her and you. The obvious choice would've been her. I have 3 kids with her and we were engaged, but I chose you. I chose you, my ex wife. The one who's rejected me over and over, the one who didn't want a kid with me, but I still chose you."

Kensi didn't know what to say. What the hell was she supposed to say? Her ex husband was telling her that he broke up with his fiancée for her.

"So what does this mean?"

"It means that I'm not as over you as I thought I was."

"Do we try again?"

"I don't know right now, Kensi. Just because I chose you doesn't mean I'm not mad at you. It also doesn't mean that I want another relationship with you."

"Then why are you telling me this? If you don't want to get back together, then why does it matter that you broke up with Gaby?"

"I don't know. Maybe I do want to get back together."

"I'm confused. Do you or don't you want to get back together?"

After a moment of thought, Deeks gave his answer.

"If I'm being perfectly honest, I'm still in love with you. I don't think I ever stopped being in love with you."

"So we're gonna try this again?"

"I think so."

Before Kensi could say anything else, Deeks leaned in closer and kissed her. If Kensi was being honest, it was one of the best kisses of her life. It wasn't long and it wasn't filled with passion, but it was sweet and spoke thousands of unsaid words.

"I should probably go now." Deeks said as he got off the couch and walked up to Ops.

"Ms. Blye, I see things aren't as bad as you thought they'd be." Hetty said, as she magically appeared in the Bullpen.

"Definitely not. I didn't realize how much I missed this place."

"Not having second thoughts about moving, are we?"

"Well, kinda. Now that things with me and Deeks seem to be back on track and I don't really have anything in San Diego, can I be transferred back to LA?"

"Ms. Blye, you chose to move. You chose to leave LA and go to San Diego." At that, Kensi noticeably slumped and started getting sad. "With that said, the SAC of San Diego owes me a favor. I'm sure we can make something happen."

"Really? I can stay in LA?"

"I can't make any promises, but I'm confident he'll say yes."

"Thank you, Hetty."

With that, Hetty walked away.

Kensi figured they'd be done briefing soon, so she decided to go up to Ops.

"Hi." Kensi said to everyone as they walked out of Ops.

"Is there something you want, Kens?" Sam asked, knowing there was something behind that hi.

"I want to go with you guys. I'm technically still an NCIS agent, so I can still legally work a case."

"Sure, Kens. You can go with Deeks. Rachel, why don't you come with me and Sam? Maybe you can learn a thing or two." Callen said.

"Ok." Rachel said without any protest.

The team dispersed and headed to their respective cars. Before Deeks got in the car, he got a phone call. Deeks answered it, and quickly ended the call, asking only one question: "Are they alright?"

"What's wrong?"

"Gaby was just in a car accident with all three kids in the car. They're all at the hospital right now. Can you call Callen and tell him we're going to the hospital?"

"Yeah."

The pair got in the car and Kensi called Callen and told him what was going on. He said it was fine and to let him know if they found out anything.

Once at the hospital, Deeks practically ran to the triage desk, asking for his daughters.

"They're all in the ER right now."

Deeks jogged down to the ER and quickly found them. Harper was with Gaby, who was conscious and sitting up. Penny and Taylor were with each other in the curtained sectioned right next to Gaby.

"How are they?"

"They're fine. Harper was cleared, Taylor has some minor bruises and scrapes, and Penny has a sprained wrist. I have a broken arm, a sprained ankle, a few cracked ribs, and a concussion."

"Then why the hell are you holding the baby?" Deeks asked harshly, taking Harper away from Gaby.

"Wow, you don't even trust me with my own baby."

"Not when you have a broken arm."

"Just take the kids and leave. I don't want you here anyway."

"Have they been throughly checked out?"

"Yeah, the doctor just said to follow up with their pediatrician."

"Fine. I'll come back later tonight."

Gaby was about to answer when she started convulsing. Deeks yelled for a doctor which then scared Harper. He stepped back away from the bed, in an attempt to calm the baby and let the doctors work on Gaby.

"Dammit, she's coding. I need a crash cart!" Yelled one of the doctors.

They quickly shocked her, and did the same routine 5 times. The doctor then started chest compressions, and even tried a precordial thump a few times. Ultimately, she'd been down for too long and they'd exhausted too many resources.

"I'm gonna call it? Does anyone have any objections?" The doctor asked. After no one said anything, he called the time of death. 11:21am.

"Wait, isn't there something more you can do? Can't you shock her again?" Deeks asked, desperate for his kids to not lose their mother.

"I'm sorry sir, we tried everything we could."

Deeks didn't know what else to say. He had just watched the mother of his children die. What the hell was he supposed to do?

"Daddy, what happened to mama?" Penny asked from the other side of the curtain.

Deeks quickly composed himself and walked over to the other side of the curtain.

"Penny, there's not really an easy way to say this but mama's gone, baby. She won't come back."

"Is mama dead?"

"Yeah, I'm so sorry baby."

"No, I want mama."

"No, Penny. Mama's gone."

"No!" She yelled, not wanting to believe her mother was actually gone.

Deeks sat down in the bed, and wrapped his free arm around Penny. Penny put her head into his chest and cried. It was at this point that Kensi decided to walk over. Taylor immediately recognized who Kensi was and jumped off the bed. She ran over to Kensi and buried her head in Kensi's legs. When Taylor started crying, Kensi awkwardly reached down and patted her back. Deeks mouthed 'Gaby's dead' and Kensi understood.

After Taylor stopped crying, Kensi reached down and picked her up. Deeks handed Kensi the baby so he could properly hug Penny. With a toddler and a baby in either arm, Kensi felt surprisingly domesticated. She never expected herself to feel this way but she did.

After awhile, Deeks scooped up Penny and ushered Kensi and the kids to the waiting room. Deeks sat Penny down in a chair next to Kensi and walked over to the triage desk.

"I need discharge papers for my daughters."

The nurse handed Deeks the papers and told him Gaby would be sent to the morgue and he could claim her there. Deeks quickly filled out the papers and they were on their way.