18. Regina: Day 97
Regina is going to murder her mother. It's the only option.
She's spent the better part of the past three days plotting all the different ways she could do it. Crush up a few extra doses of Ativan to spike Cora's before-bedtime drink, just enough so that when she takes her night-time dose to knock her out, it packs an extra punch and does so permanently. But, her mother's palate is perfect — she can detect the moment a wine or brandy is a hair past its prime, so she would certainly notice the bitterness of the crushed pill powder, which means that method is out. She had thought about cutting the brake lines in her car, but she doesn't know enough about automotive engineering and would probably electrocute herself in the process, given that her mother jaunts around town in a Tesla, a car she purchased in cash just prior to the launch of her campaign to show her unwavering support for the environment. No, that wouldn't work either.
"What about a hitman?"
"What?" Regina jumps, startled by the sudden presence of another person in the room.
"Oh, please, don't tell me you aren't creating a list of all the ways we could do her in and make it look like an accident, or better yet, natural causes," Zelena says, popping a handful of caramel corn into her mouth that she had taken from the large tin on the counter.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I would never do such a thing," Regina smirks, grabbing a Christmas cookie for herself.
"Ladies, it's almost dinner," the voice of the antagonist in their developing plotline scolds as she walks into the room. "And besides, don't you think you've both had quite enough sweets the past few days to last you the entire season? We have family photos coming up and the last thing I want is for anyone to comment on how bloated my daughters are at the Christmas ball."
Zelena sends Regina a look before grabbing two more cookies, handing the brunette one before shoving the other into her own mouth. "Sowwwy mummy," she mumbles, crumbs spilling out from her lips.
"Good God you are both children. It's like you were raised by monkeys. I don't know where we went wrong with you," Cora admonishes before turning to leave the room as quickly as she entered it.
"So, a hitman?" Zelena raises her eyebrows.
Regina nods thoughtfully as she takes a bite of the cookie. "Do you know anyone who will do it cheaply and discretely?"
"No, but I'm guessing Mal's campaign would take care of it for free if it means Mal wins the Senate seat."
"Hmmm," Regina smiles as she finishes the last of her cookie. "Let's definitely keep that in mind."
*.*.*
"I'll get it," Regina says, pushing back her seat from the kitchen table.
"You will do no such thing. We are having dinner, Regina," Cora says, looking at her daughter.
"Mom, it could be important," Regina argues. "And, I'm done anyway," she says, pushing back her chair just as the doorbell rings again.
"It could be a deranged reporter looking to dig up dirt on us, Regina. Sit down. If it's important they would have called first."
Zelena rolls her eyes and adds her two cents. "That's why you've hired security, Mother. If the person made it to the front door, they're fine. It's probably more Christmas packages that need to be signed for. UPS hasn't been by yet today."
"Exactly," Regina says, sending a quick look of gratitude to her sister before hightailing it out of the room. As she walks down the hall, the doorbell rings yet again accompanied by an urgent knocking on the door she hadn't heard before. "Jesus, chill," Regina mumbles under her breath. She peeks through the peephole and her breath hitches.
"Emma?" She asks as she opens the door. The blonde is dressed in skinny jeans and the red leather jacket she's taken to wearing in LA now that 'winter' has hit. Regina had thought it was ridiculous that Emma brought it to New York for their trip last weekend, because it wasn't nearly warm enough for the frigid East Coast. But, Regina can't deny that she wears it well. How is she even hotter than she was the last time I saw her? she thinks, quickly shaking herself out of that line of thinking.
"Hi," Emma responds, clearly nervous and visibly cold in the below-freezing Maine temperatures.
"What are you doing here?" Regina asks, stepping out onto the front porch and closing the door behind her to keep the cold out of the house.
"I got an earlier flight," she says, stating the obvious. "I know I wasn't supposed to come up until Saturday morning, but I didn't want to wait that long to talk to you."
Regina feels herself melt a little at that, but she quickly recovers. She's still internally freaking out after their drunken night the previous weekend, and mostly she's angry with herself. Not only is she embarrassed by how she behaved, but she's also confused. After the initial mortification wore off and after talking with Jefferson, she had started to realize that she may be developing actual feelings for Emma. But she knows that Emma hasn't been with anyone since their arrangement started, and she knows the blonde couldn't possibly be interested in her — over the past few months, she had learned all about Emma's exes, and the blonde had a type. Regina was not it. Emma was just scratching an itch, and Regina happened to be there as a willing participant. She couldn't face the rejection she knew would be coming, and she didn't want to make the situation any more complicated. They still had another month left of their contract to get through.
"Regina?" Emma asks, snapping Regina's attention back to the present.
"Huh? What?"
"I asked if it was okay that I'm here. I can get a room down at Granny's if you guys aren't ready for company yet…" Emma says awkwardly.
"Oh," Regina responds. "Right, no, come in," she says, opening the door and gesturing for the blonde to enter. "It would look odd if you didn't stay here, and we can't risk that, so…"
"Right," Emma nods. "Thanks," she says, kicking off her boots and letting Regina take her jacket to hang up in the hall closet.
"We have to act natural," Regina reminds her quietly. "My sister and her fiancé are here, and they don't know about this arrangement…"
"I know," Emma says. "But, we do still need to talk."
Regina feels her heart seize in her chest. She's not ready for that talk. "We will," she says, turning to walk down the hall, but before she can take more than two steps, a hand closes on her wrist and stops her.
"Regina, please talk to me," Emma says, pulling Regina back into the foyer. "Are you okay with what happened last weekend?"
"Yep. It's fine. I'm fine," Regina says in a clipped tone. She's really not in the mood to discuss it.
"Regina—"
"No. This is neither the time nor the place, Emma. You can't just show up on my parents' doorstep unannounced and demand this conversation."
"Fine," Emma sighs.
"Have you had dinner yet?" Regina asks. "We're just finishing up, but there will be some leftovers if you'd like."
"The flight had meal service, so I'm good. Thanks, though."
"Okay, well, follow me, then," Regina says, taking a deep breath before putting what she hopes is a convincing smile on her face as she walks down the hall.
"Wait a sec," Emma whispers as she rushes to catch up to her. When Regina looks back, confused as to what Emma could possibly want now, Emma reaches out for her hand and threads their fingers together.
The smile on Regina's face maybe just became a little more genuine.
*.*.*
Cora had been thrilled to see Emma when Regina had announced the special guest upon returning to the dining room. Her poll numbers have stagnated a bit in recent weeks as Mal began to catch up to her, so this display of a big happy family Christmas will be her next step to securing voter's support.
As Cora chatters away with Emma after dinner, Zelena eyes Regina suspiciously as they get started on the washing the dishes. "Why are you being weird?"
"What?" Regina asks, rinsing another plate. "What do you mean? I'm not being weird."
"Ever since Emma showed up, you're extra tense."
"Everything's fine, Zelena," Regina says, a little too quickly and a little too defensively.
"Right," Zelena says, not buying it. "Whenever someone says 'everything's fine', everything is totally fine."
"The holidays are just stressful, Zelena. Especially with the campaign bullshit."
Zelena nods, but still looks at her sister skeptically. "You're sure that's it? It has nothing to do with Emma? No lover's spat?"
Regina sighs. "I'm sure, Zelena. I just don't love the idea of Mom commandeering Emma and grilling her about God knows what," she adds. It seems believable. In normal circumstances, she would be concerned about her mother cornering her significant other. It's a terrifying thought. But in this case, she's really worried about what Emma may say. Emma hasn't been trained to dodge Cora Mills' interrogation tactics. If her mother as much as suspects something is different between Emma and herself, her mother will be like a hound following a scent trail.
"Knowing Mummy dearest, she's probably trying to plan your wedding and convince Emma to propose for Christmas."
If only, Regina thinks. This is going to get so much worse.
*.*.*
"Regina, dear, may I see you in the kitchen for a moment?" Cora sweetly demands as they all get ready to watch a movie in the living room. "I could use some help with the snacks."
"Um, sure," she says, standing up from where she has been sitting next to Emma on the couch. Emma had said that her earlier conversation with Cora had been perfectly normal, but now Regina isn't quite so sure. It's never good when Cora Mills asks to speak to someone alone.
They're barely past the threshold when the firestorm begins. "I don't know what the hell is going on with you two, but you need to get your shit together, Regina," Cora scolds.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Regina lies. "Everything is fine."
"Oh please. It's glaringly obvious that something is going on. You've barely said two words to her since she got here. Are you two fighting? Because if you are, you need to get over yourselves and make it work, because you still have another five weeks of this, and we need these happy family photos for the campaign."
"No, we're not fighting, Mother," she says. Quite the opposite, actually.
"Well, whatever it is, you need to fix it. My brother, his new wife, and all their kids will be coming in for the ball on Saturday, and they need to believe you're together…as do the rest of my campaign staff. Right now you're not convincing anyone. I won't let you destroy the work we've put into this."
Regina rolls her eyes. "Thanks for the pep talk, and thanks for being so concerned about my well-being and putting me ahead of your own needs. You're a great mother," Regina sneers as she grabs the bowl of pretzels off the island and heads back into the living room, purposefully sitting herself on Emma's lap and giving the blonde an unnecessarily long kiss as soon as Cora comes back into the room. "So, can we watch the movie now?" Regina asks as she glares at her mother across the room.
"I think that's a great idea," Henry says, jumping up to grab the remote.
"You okay?" Emma whispers to Regina as the opening theme to Home Alone plays on the television.
"Yep," Regina says, her eyes fixed on the screen. "Everything's fine."
