Alright guys, I wanted to apologize for my story running a bit late. I have been doing a lot of online work as I had to prepare for a work-from-home switch for a bit. The Covid-19 virus is in the county right next to mine now and I am self-quarantining in an effort to stay healthy. If you were wondering how I knew some of the processes and terminology for my fic, it's because I am immunocompromised.
The bright side of this is more time for both work AND writing so I should be able to get some stuff out soon to read and keep you busy during this time. Stay safe everyone and, despite my name, don't panic.
Chapter 16
Sitting on the outcrop of rocks near the café with his eyes closed, Renji waited again for morning. It had been months since he sat out here alone, enveloped by the comforting darkness and silence. Today, however, there was no comfort. As the quick tick of the sounds of prep work were joined by the din of commuters, Renji wondered how the world could just go on like every other day. How did no one else notice the hole that had just opened in the world?
The morning birds began to sing, heralding the break of dawn, but still Renji sat with his eyes closed. He was waiting for something else, something better. He made the mental checklist of things he had to do now that Mara was gone, trying to fight the all-pervasive fears inside him. He was so sure of her and their plan when she had been here but now his mind kept wanting to panic. Would she remember anything?
Renji fingered her thread anklet, now attached to his zanpakuto. It had been in his pocket ever since she had to live in the hospital and an IV had been placed on her foot again. He had held it for her, planning on putting it back on. Maybe she would want it again if he found her. When he found her- he reminded himself. When he found her- if she wanted it. If she wanted him. God, this is too much.
Renji leaned his head into his hands, rubbing his face for what must have been the thousandth time, as he tried to collect his scattered thoughts.
"I knew I would find you out here. Guess your pet wasn't enough to really distract you from- how did you put it?- submerging yourself in my eyes," Rukia asked with a malicious lilt to her voice.
Internally, Renji rolled his eyes. His practiced mask slid into place as he refused to open his eyes. It wasn't time. He didn't want purple, dammit. "I'm not here for that," he replied tonelessly.
"Sure, sure," Rukia said lightly as she slid up to stand close next to him. Too close. "Well, now that you aren't distracted, maybe you can tell me why… that girl… could see you."
"I already told you, Rukia," Renji said with a sigh, still not bothering to look at her, "She died, she came back, she died again, back again, and from there it was one long bout of dying. She could see everything but look at the cost."
Rukia resisted the urge to snort in derision. There had to be more to it that that. "All that just to be greeted with the sight of you? Poor girl," she said in an attempt to lighten the mood; her acerbic tone killing the joke.
"I'm pretty sure the hollows scared her much worse than I did," Renji bit out, "Now if you don't mind, go back to your own insanity. I have stuff to do."
Anger welled in Rukia's chest as her eyes almost brimmed with tears, "I am just trying to save him, you know! Our friend! The one everyone else has given up on! You used to care, Renji. What the hell happened to make you so fucking weak you couldn't even offer help!"
Renji finally opened his eyes, the bright blue edge of the sky expanding as he watched and lending him it's strength. Her strength. "You did," he said lowly, finally standing to leave. "I'm willing to be your friend, Rukia, I really am. If you come to me with some semblance of the kindness you used to have, I will hear you out. But I don't think that even you realize how you are now. Leave me be."
"Useless-"
Renji looked over toward the café pavilion as he felt the slight graze of wind that signaled Rukia's departure. He couldn't help but picture the happy mornings that his Ippin and he had spent, the time getting to know each other inside and out. He was so focused on his thoughts, he almost didn't notice the table, draped in black and adorned with white flowers. Her table. Their table.
Walking closer, he could see that flowers had been arranged all over the table and incense had been lit. An article about when Mara had saved the little boy was framed on the table behind it and her cut black hoodie had been draped over the chair. As Renji stood watching, the owner of the café carried out a butsugu pedestal and placed it on the table with a small dish of rice cakes and Mara's favorite coffee brewed into a decorative cup.
Renji wound his fingers in the small strand now dangling from his sword hilt at the sight, biting back emotion. Suddenly he felt a little less alone. Clearly the hole left in his world wasn't only visible to him. Taking a deep breath Renji began his mental check list again. Most important, put in the transfer request to soul society. I do not want to go back to my old position. I need the freedom to move and find her, and to be with her after. Plus, no more Kuchiki bullshit. Next- Renji's thoughts were cut off as a small, cool hand slid into his.
"Wow. I didn't think anyone would miss me, but this is very sweet."
Renji froze in shock, finally unlocking his neck just enough to look down on the top of a very familiar blue head.
Mara looked up at him with shining eyes, catching the sunlight in their black and amber depths. She smiled at his utter confusion and shrugged, "Yeah. I don't know how it happened either." She turned back to look at the table where a commuter stopped and placed a new stick of incense. "I was all chugging along to go to soul Society in my head but- AHH!"
Renji interrupted Mara with a strong arm around the waist, flash stepping her up against a far column so fast that her head spun. He pinned her shoulders in place so he could take a long look at her. If it weren't for the hair and the eyes, he would swear it wasn't her. Gone was the skeletal look that had only grown more enhanced as time had progressed. Gone were the fine lines around her eyes that pain had placed there. This girl was healthy and strong looking, bright and curvy. If it weren't for the chain sticking from the center of her, that is. But the smile she was giving him… that was definitely Mara.
"Is it really you, Ippin?" was all Renji could manage to ask breathlessly.
Mara's smile softened to a loving grin as she raised her left wrist, hoodie sleeve falling away to reveal her matching tattoo. "Yeah, Ace. It's me," she said gently.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
"Who'd have thought that I would be using this tat to convince You and not the other way around?!" Mara giggled out, "But I swear it's me and-"
Renji cut Mara off again, this time with a searing kiss. He roughly delved his tongue into her mouth as her arms came up to circle his neck. Renji could feel her rising to a tiptoe to accommodate his height and slid his hands from her shoulders to her waist, lifting her effortlessly and sliding his knee between her legs and against the column. She gasped against his lips as he settled her weight on his leg and used his grip to pull her taught against him.
Growling, Rengi pulled tighter, sliding her up his leg to elicit another low moan. He'd swear that those sounds she made for him where his drug, always driving on to more to try to get the next hit of the wanton sounds. Her hands traveled down his chest to fist the front if his shihatsuko, keeping him close with surprising strength.
Breaking the kiss with a gasp, Mara kept her forehead pressed to Renji's. "Wow, " she gasped, "Um, yeah- Hi."
Renji grinned and chuckled, not releasing his hold on her. "I missed you," he said simply.
"Clearly," she said sarcastically, chuckling back against him.
He pressed another quick kiss to her lips. "How are you here? I thought… I thought I'd be finding you in Soul Society?"
Mara squirmed against his leg, "Gonna let me down so we can talk about it?"
"Nope," Renji said decisively.
Mara squirmed again, sliding up Renji's leg to get more purchase until their hips met and she could lean against him more comfortably. The sensations from the friction nearly drove Renji to distraction, but he was not letting her go right now. Period.
"I don't know exactly how I'm here. I just knew you needed me and that I had to stay and the gate- there was this bit ass gate at the end of like a really creepy moving tunnel, by the way- just kind of disappeared, "Mara said as her explanation turned to rambling, "And then everything was black for a bit and then I woke up back at Mrs. Yamaya's! Of all the places. Anyways, I woke up and had the teal rietsu flame thing going on again, so I had to do my boxing think but I got it under control, but it… well, it feels like it's more now, like a lot more. But I got it all in the box and then I walked here! Oh my god, Ace! Its amazing! I can move and walk and turn fucking cartwheels if I want! You never told me that this would be so liberating!"
Mara paused her non-stop flow of chatter at Renji's stupefied face. "Sorry, that was a lot and really fast."
"Yeah- no," Renji shook his head to clear his thoughts, "Rewind. You stayed here for me?"
"Well, yeah," Mara said sheepishly.
"Ok, first Shinigami lesson, that's how you get ghosts and hollows," he said with raised brows, "but more importantly, I thought I would be finding you in Soul Society. You know that I can go there."
"Yes, I know," Mara said softly, cryptically.
"But you stayed here," Renji said, trying to draw an answer from her.
Mara's face scrunched up in concentration as she tried to smooth the wrinkles out his lapel that she had put there. Finally, she sighed and looked up at him. "I could hear you in the hospital," she said quietly, eyes dropping. "It was weird. I- I wasn't alive in that body but I was still there, and I could hear you before Ishida had to turn everything off. You sounded like you were so hurt and I knew I wanted to comfort you. But then- then you said that… well, you said that you didn't know if I would love you again and I just could feel that I couldn't leave."
Renji hooked a finger under her chin and lifted it so that she looked at him again, seeming to study her eyes. In reality he was falling into them. His Ippin was jewel in so many ways, not the least of which was now staying here just to ease his worry. He leaned forward and kissed her sweetly. "I'm sorry you worried, Love," he told her softly, "I am not as strong as I seem. I'm always afraid to jump after what I want, always have been. How do you just leap straight to flying without worry or care? I just- can't, and now I've dragged you back here…"
Mara cupped his strong jaw and smiled at him. "I'm always afraid," she said, "You are the one that showed me that some things are worth doing even when you're scared. I just had to remind you of that!"
Renji couldn't help the smile that graced his face, even if he still had trouble wrapping his head around her view of him. "You know that means I am going to have to perform a konso then right?" he asked, internally wondering if he would even be able to let her go again. His unwavering grip on her now did not bode well for that part of their future.
Mara began squirming on his lap in agitation. "Right now?" she squeaked out, "We can't like, I dunno, take a walk or something? Spend a little time? I want to show you my sweet new ability to move!"
Her goofy smile was infectious, but her shimmying movements were forefront in Renji's mind as he dug his fingers into her hips roughly. He pulled her flush on him again, grinding their hips together and letting her really feel for the first time exactly how much she affected him. "If you keep moving around like that, woman," he growled lowly into her ear, sending shivers down her spine, "I will show you my ability to move." He felt the shudder as it ran down her back as he traced his tongue around the shell of her ear to emphasize the words.
Mara looked up at him with wide eyes, nibbling her bottom lip, before turning her pretty, bow shaped mouth into a wicked smile. "I can't see how that would be a bad thing," she said with false innocence as she leaned forward to nip his collarbone. "After all," she continued in a near whisper, pulling at his uniform top, getting him to bend to her, "I may actually have a chance at keeping up with that feral edge of you that you keep so brutally in check."
Mara punctuated her words with a bite to the junction of his neck and shoulder where he continuously loved to mark her. Renji couldn't even help the growl that rumbled in his chest. Or that his hands seemed to move of their own accord, one gripping her lower back, as the other slid underneath her spread legs. The new pressure and movement caused Mara to make one of those sexy gasps again, this time right against the tender skin of his throat.
"Please, Renji," she moaned, sliding herself against the pressure of the hand under her.
Renji's tenuous control was at a breaking point as he wrapped his free hand in her hair, pulling her hair gently to make her look at him. "So, no more of the wait-until-we-know-you'll-remember thing?" he asked, immediately regretting it as she stilled her hips and the hard edge of lust clearing from her eyes.
"You're right," Mara sighed pushing back against his chest, "I'm only halfway there, yet."
Fuck me for being right, Renji scowled to himself as he grabbed on the Mara's waist so he could move his knee. He stilled though as soft fingers smoothed out the angry lines and lightly traced the tattoos across his brow.
"You know I want you like crazy, Ace. I crave you," she whispered softly to him, placing a feather light kiss on his cheek, "but I really would like to remember my first time, especially since it will be with you."
Rengi's head whipped up to look at her in shock. He didn't know-! All that greeted him however were Mara's laughing eyes and playful smile as she reverted to bouncing excitedly. "Can we go for a walk now? I can walk!"
Laughing gently, Renji finished lowering her to the ground where she took off like a bolt.
"Come catch me!"
