A/N: hello hello hello. In these trying times, I'm finding everything I can to feel grateful and right now, *this* is what I'm thankful for. The fact that I can find an escape in writing and share it with all of you along the way. So thank you for being here, for reading along, for diving into this world with me every now and then.

I hope you're all doing okay. And if you're not, I hope you can make your way through it. We'll all come out on the other side with a new appreciation for everything, I think. Right now, I'm just glad I'm healthy and luckily in a position where I can work from home and have enough of a break from my anxiety to write.

Thank you to my reviewers on the last chapter: Guest, B, Guest, Jess and Gingerandspice1. I'm also so happy to hear anyone's thoughts on an update. I'll reiterate what my good friend B once wrote: leaving a review for a writer can really make their day or their week! but I know sometimes you might not have anything to say, and that's okay, too. I see you out there and again, I'm happy to have you here.

In case you didn't see this coming, I'm here to cross promote geminibbyy's story gilded - if you're into original characters and haven't checked her story out yet, you're in for a treat. it's classic GG vibes with a great OC and the entire original crew, but dialed up to eleven.

and now, away we goooooo...


For Mackenzie, Friday was dragging on.

The night before, after she disappeared from Carter Baizen at The Oak Room, she went home to Brooklyn and felt incredibly lonely at the loft. She had been getting used to waking up in Nate's bed and suddenly her previous safe haven was feeling unnatural and cold. Maybe it was because there were traces of her dad everywhere in the loft. Maybe it was because she still felt a sense of uncertainty being there completely alone after the break in. Regardless of the cause, she struggled to fall asleep and felt like she was out of her body for all of Friday.

She woke up to a bit of good news, in a way. She had a text from Viv announcing that Drew had stayed the night with her and revealed he had broken up with his girlfriend finally. Mackenzie tried her best to feel happy for her friend but she was mainly relieved she didn't have to play therapist anymore. Although, she did worry this meant she might not be able to avoid Carter very long.

Despite the frustration she felt over her interactions with Carter and having to field texts from Vivienne about how in love she was, Mackenzie was just looking forward to Nate coming home from Washington. His flight was supposed to come in after dinner and she was feeling impatient. They had barely talked on the phone all week due to his busy schedule. She was understanding, of course. This was his job, The Spectator was his pride and joy. And she knew he wouldn't be making as many trips to his Washington office come spring. But she wanted all his time. It was selfish, sure, but she slept better and felt better when she knew Nate was safe in the city with her.

Mackenzie leaned back in her chair and shut her laptop, reaching to pull her hair out of the tight ponytail on top of her head. She wasn't sure if she should head back to the loft and wait to hear from Nate or go to the Upper West Side and let herself into his apartment instead.

Before she could really weigh her options, her phone started to vibrate. She grabbed it from under a pile of papers on her desk and saw Chuck's name flashing.

They had met earlier that day to discuss strategy about the Bass Foundation's new Australia Chapter. Maybe he had some follow up questions. But Friday afternoons weren't usually the most productive business hours for Chuck.

"Hey Chuck," she answered, tilting her neck back and forth to stretch from her seat.

"Mackenzie. Are you at the office still?" His tone was somber.

"Yeah, I was about to head out. What's up?"

There was a long pause.

"Are you sitting down?"

Mackenzie paused and leaned forward onto the desk, her breaths increasing as she listened to him. "Chuck, what's going on?"

"I didn't want you to hear this from anyone else. But something happened to The Spectator's plane as they were heading home and…"

Suddenly Chuck's words vanished into thin air as Mackenzie fell back into her chair.

Something happened to The Spectator's plane… the plane Nate was in. The plane the love of her life was travelling home in. Mackenzie, stop panicking. Stop worrying. This doesn't mean anything bad has happened. Sometimes planes have to make emergency landings and this doesn't mean the worst has happened. This doesn't mean anything happened to Nate. This doesn't mean..

"Mackenzie! Mackenzie. Hello?"

Chuck's voice yelling through the phone brought her back to the present.

"Did you hear me? We're a few blocks from the office, I'm coming to pick you up."

Mackenzie admittedly didn't remember packing up her things and putting on her coat and hurrying out of the office. But by the time her feet hit the pavement outside, Chuck's limo was in clear view and she was thanking Arthur for holding the door open for her as she climbed inside. She was frantically looking at her phone, waiting desperately to hear something, anything, from Nate.

Chuck raised his hand when she slid in beside him. "Before you ramble, let me just tell you everything I know."

Mackenzie just nodded.

"After the plane hit some less than friendly weather, they suffered some system issues. The plane didn't crash, thankfully. But the pilots had to do some manual overrides to safely land and it caused the cabin pressure system to malfunction." Chuck paused and glanced down at his phone, then turned back to Mackenzie. "They were just a few minutes from a small airport northeast of Philadelphia and landed safely, yet with a very quick descent. And -

"Chuck. Is Nate okay?"

"I think so, but I haven't heard from him directly. An ambulance met them on site when they landed." He paused again. "I know one of the pilots suffered a head injury. As for Nathaniel, well, I think there were some issues with the oxygen. When the plane finally landed, he had passed out."

"Oh my god," Mackenzie squeezed her eyes shut and did her best to take slow, controlled breaths. She felt Chuck's hand on her shoulder.

"Mild hypoxia isn't uncommon, Mackenzie. His oxygen loss would not have been for long, I'm sure he'll be okay. They were landed within minutes of the system issues."

She swallowed hard and nodded. She knew Chuck's words were intended to be a comfort to her, but until she heard something from Nate, there was no peace of mind.

"Wait. How do you know all this?"

"My pilot gets a lot of information first hand from a friend at ATC." Chuck sighed. "I know you're going to worry until you hear from Nathaniel directly." He paused. "Frankly, we're in the same boat."

Mackenzie looked over and watched as Chuck looked down at his phone again. For a moment, she let herself feel gratitude for her relationship with Chuck. She could barely remember how intimidated she used to feel by him - considering now, sitting beside him in the back of his limo, she could see his honest side. He was concerned about his best friend. And to Mackenzie, it filled her heart with an indescribable sense of comfort.

Chuck cleared his throat and sat up straight, recomposing himself. "Henry would love for you to watch Finding Nemo with him." Mackenzie looked out the window and realized they were en route to the Bass-Waldorf brownstone on Park Avenue.

She let out a long exhale and gave Chuck a grateful smile. Nothing else had to be said. Chuck wanted her to wait at their house until everyone knew Nate was okay.

Chuck turned his head and smirked at her as the vehicle came to a stop. "And don't worry, we have plenty of options to take the edge off while you wait."


'...the masks are about to fall as a precaution and we recommend you strapping them on...'

The plane shook again as the oxygen masks fell from the ceiling. Nate and Taylor both scrambled to secure them on and leaned back in their chairs.

Taylor's hand landed on Nate's knee again as the plane started to descend, continuing to shake as it slowly fell.

Nate grabbed onto her hand and squeezed it tight as he shut his eyes.

'...this might be a bumpy landing, folks…'

It had been a long time since Nate had felt sheer panic zooming through his body. It felt like a poorly designed thrill ride at a theme park - faint overhead announcements, the feeling of a quick descent, holding on for dear life. Only at a theme park, the ride safely came to an end and riders exited through a gift shop. In those moments as Nate's hand gripped with Taylor's, all he could think about was the ending.

The ending of the descent.

The ending of being on a plane, any plane. Of being on any moving piece of metal.

The ending of…

As he pushed his body onto his chair, his brain continuously came back to one thing, one constant steady broadcast at the front of his mind: Mackenzie Lilas Rose Humphrey. He couldn't even remember their phone conversation from the night before. She had been on her way out and he had been between meetings. It had been short and half-hearted. They were saving their stories for their Friday evening reunion. Now, more than anything, Nate regretted not staying on the line for a few extra minutes just to hear her voice.

What if this was it?

No, this can't be it.

Suddenly, Nate felt Taylor's hand release from his. He could hear her jumbling out something and he turned his head to see her better.

"My mask, something is wrong.."

"No, don't," Nate tried to stop her from pulling it off her face. "They said we'll be landed soon but the pressure keeps dropping."

"Nothing is happening," Taylor said, eyes wide. She started to gasp. Nate wasn't sure if that was her body's panicked reaction to the situation or if the air was feeling that thin to her.

He took one last deep breath and pulled his own mask off, extending it to her. "Here."

"No, Nate-

"Taylor, please," he said calmly, pulling off her mask and securing the one hanging above him onto her face instead. "We're gonna be okay."

He leaned back in his chair agai and Taylor did the same. She grabbed for his hand once more.

We're going to be okay.


Blair insisted Mackenzie eat dinner with them.

Well, actually, Mackenzie was basically forced into the chair by Henry. He was going on and on about what he had done at school that day and Mackenzie did her best to smile along with the boy. She had a few bites of the pasta meal in front of her and sipped on a glass of wine.

Mackenzie nearly fell over in her chair when her phone finally rang with Nate's face flashing on the screen. She had been watching it like a hawk, avoiding a plethora of messages from everyone else in her life asking about Nate and the plane. News of the emergency landing was scrolling across breaking news screens and gaining traction online.

All she could reply was she didn't have any information yet and she hadn't heard from Nate. Until now. Finally.

Mackenzie pushed back on her chair and muttered out an 'excuse me' as she hurried away from the kitchen, finally bringing her phone up to her ear.

"Hello? Nate?"

"Mackenzie," Nate's voice sounded on the other end of the phone. Mackenzie took a seat down on the bottom of the staircase in the front parlour to save herself from fainting. "God, I'm so happy to hear your voice."

"You're telling me," she replied. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm still sitting in the back of this ambulance on the tarmac. They told me I can only talk for a few minutes since my oxygen levels are still low." He paused to take a breath. "Those were the worst twenty minutes of my life and I just.. I love you, Mack. I love you."

"I love you, too. Please tell me you get to come home tonight."

"I think Leo got us on the last train out." Another pause. "But I'll see you as soon as I can."

"I'll be waiting at your apartment."

"Our apartment." Pause. She heard Nate take a deep breath. "Where are you now?"

Mackenzie felt like crying, she just wanted to be with him. She shook her head and tried to remain composed. "Just at Chuck and Blair's. I think he's holding me hostage to make sure I didn't spiral waiting to hear from you."

"Oh good. As long as you're not alone." Nate paused again. Mackenzie felt bad he was wasting all his breath on her. "Can you put Chuck on?"

"Sure." Mackenzie made her way back to the kitchen, receiving curious stares from all three of the family members around the table. "Chuck, Nate wants to talk to you."

Mackenzie handed her phone off to Chuck, who dropped his cloth napkin down as he stood up. He gave a small head nod to Mackenzie as he started to exit the kitchen. "Of course. I mean, she's as much a part of this family as you are. I'll make sure she gets home safely later…"

As Chuck's voice faded away, Mackenzie felt her entire body relax with relief. Nate was okay. She was okay. Things were okay. She reached for her glass of wine and finished it off, then took a bite of her cold dinner.

"Is uncle Nate okay?" Henry asked, his eyes darting from Mackenzie to his mother.

Blair smiled at Mackenzie then reached to grab Henry's hand. "Of course, sweetie."

"Good," the young boy exclaimed, pulling his hand away and shifting in his chair to look at Mackenzie. "Miss Kenzie, are you going to stay and watch a movie with me then?"

"I would love to," Mackenzie replied, shifting her glance to Blair. "If that's okay."

"As long as I don't have to watch Finding Nemo again myself," Blair replied, smirking. "Although, we usually don't make it past the sharks before we change our mind."

Chuck came back to the table a few minutes later and handed the phone back to Mackenzie. "Nathaniel insisted I tell you he loves you. And he mumbled something else about a sunflower. But that's all I will relay."

Mackenzie just let out a laugh and smiled. "Thank you." She let out a long sigh and turned to Henry again. "Movie time?"

Henry fell asleep halfway through the movie, though well past the sharks. After Blair came to collect her sleeping son, Mackenzie ventured through the house to find Chuck.

She knocked on the open door of his office, watching as he typed away on his laptop. He looked up and gave her a small smile, waving her in.

Chuck's home office felt similar to his office at the Bass Industries tower. Large dark bookcases filled the wall, back lit to highlight awards and photos of his family. It was cozy and Mackenzie felt safe there, like it was a small cave hidden from the rest of the world. She pulled her oversized cardigan tight across her chest and fell onto a chair across from Chuck.

"Did you enjoy the cinematic Pixar masterpiece?"

Mackenzie laughed in response. "I did. Well, I liked hearing Henry's thoughts on it, at least." She watched as Chuck smirked then stood up, walking over to the corner of the room where a small cocktail bar was set up. He gave her a questioning glance as he grabbed a glass and dropped some cubes of ice into it.

"Yes, please," she replied, pulling her legs up to sit cross legged on the large plush chair. He returned to his desk and placed a rocks glass in front of her, filled with about an inch of amber liquid. She took a sip and sighed.

"So Nathaniel will be back around midnight."

"The train gets in at 12:09. Well, it should. If it's running on schedule." She glanced down at her phone, constantly waiting for updates from Leo.

Chuck couldn't help but laugh. "Enough about Nathaniel. How are things with Rufus?"

Mackenzie exhaled and shook her head. "There is no way you really care about that."

"I'm truly curious. I'll admit, he's the least interesting Humphrey to me. But, a yelling match that cannot be contained, that occurs at a family gathering no less, keeps me intrigued." Chuck paused and leaned back in his chair. "If I can offer you some advice.."

"Go ahead."

"The relationship I had with my father was incredibly damaged and well, he did a lot of terrible things. Things I could never forgive or forget. And above anything else, there was a severe lack of love between us. I think about Henry and the joy I feel when I think about him, his smile, his laugh." Chuck paused again, as if he was feeling regret about revealing his feelings in such an honest way. "What I'm trying to say is.. Your father loves you, despite his misgivings."

Mackenzie laughed, taking another sip from her glass and leaving it on the desk between them. "It is difficult to see the love at such a great distance." Her voice was quiet, as if she needed to contemplate the words. Saying them out loud was hard enough. "I mean, I know he loves me. I can get that. But to show love is different." She shut her eyes then shook her head again. "Thank you though, I appreciate the perspective. And for what it's worth, you're a wonderful father to Henry."

Chuck gave her a half smile and raised his glass to her, as if to say thank you. "And it's really over with your non-sister, too?"

"It seems like it. She did ask me to get lunch this week, she said it would be as a thank you or to show her appreciation for being so intense over the last month."

"That seems a little unusual."

"I definitely don't disagree with that." Mackenzie sighed and ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back past her shoulders. "I think I just feel bad for her, despite everything."

"That's your biggest downfall you know. All of you Humphrey's. You care too much."

Mackenzie grabbed her drink and finished it, raising her glass to him. "It's a curse I have to live with for the rest of my life, sadly."

Just before midnight and after another drink, Chuck sent Mackenzie on her way to the West Side. Mackenzie couldn't sit still once she got inside. She paced around, she played with Max, she did anything to busy herself and stop watching the clock. She contemplated taking a cab to the train station to meet them there or even waiting in the lobby of the building. She just needed to see Nate, in person, in the flesh. She needed solid proof, factual evidence that he was okay.

Leo had been giving her updates as the night went along. He was going to meet them at the train station and deal with everything else. He was going to send Nate home in a cab. She wasn't supposed to worry. It was Nate talking through Leo, really. She was grateful but anxious.

When she finally heard the faint beeping of the door's lock system, she bounded off the couch and rushed to the door. Nate was barely inside before she was throwing her arms around him.

"Hey hey, at least let me close the door so Max doesn't escape?" Nate smiled as he pulled away from her, taking a few steps and shutting the door behind him. He shook off his coat and turned back to see an eager Mackenzie, who was looking at him with worried eyes. "Hey, I'm okay."

She closed in the space between them and brought her hands up to his face, gently rubbing her thumbs along his cheeks. "I'm just so happy to see you."

"Me too," he replied softly, closing his eyes. He reached his hands down and roped his arms around her waist. He so badly wanted to spill out every thought running through his head about his fears but somehow, in that moment, as Mackenzie stood cradling his face, clearly holding back tears, it was as if every inch of his body calmed.

They hardly spoke any other words to each other as they quietly walked down the hall to Nate's bedroom. Mackenzie waited for him on the bed as he changed, then Nate climbed in beside her. He laid down in bed, under his sheets, as Mackenzie held onto him. She rested her head on his shoulder and squeezed him tightly, as if he might float away in the middle of the night.

"I don't know what I would do without you." Mackenzie finally spoke, her words coming out like a whisper.

"I'm sorry you were so scared tonight."

"You don't have to apologize. It's just.. well, exactly that, scary. You always tell me how you worry about me but I worry about you, too. Especially when you travel. It's usually just my anxiety making my brain run wild but then things like this happen and.."

Nate ran his hand up and down her back as she trailed off. "I know, I know." He kissed the top of her head and sighed. "But I'm here with you right now and that's all that matters."


"Mom, I'll say it again - I'm fine. It was completely unpredictable. You know better than to believe what the post is running as truth." Nate paused and listened to his mother continue to ramble on about his well being and the number of calls she was fielding from her social circle.

He appreciated her concern but he was swamped with work and he couldn't let her eat up any more of his workday.

"Listen, I'll talk to Mack and we'll come over for dinner next week, okay? I'll call you later this week. Love you."

Nate dropped his phone back down onto his desk and sighed, leaning back in his chair. It was Tuesday morning and he was still exhausted. Leo was doing everything possible to lighten Nate's workload for the week but even with some things taken off his plate, Nate couldn't focus.

He spent the weekend with Mackenzie, dreaming about how they could adapt the apartment when she moved in.

He avoided talking about the plane, even when Mackenzie very gently asked about it. He didn't want to admit how it was leaving an effect on him. How he was awake for hours every night reliving it and continuously waiting for answers.

He also spent time fielding some text messages from a panicked Taylor Wheeler. She messaged him dozens of times, profusely thanking him again and again for giving up his oxygen mask. He assured her it wasn't a big deal, that he was doing the right thing and he was glad she was okay. He insisted she take Monday off from work as a mental health day.

After his call with his mom ended, he knew he had work to do. He sighed and headed out of his office in search of Leo. As he stepped out the door, he saw Taylor sitting at Marie's desk, typing away on the keyboard.

"Hey Taylor," Nate said slowly, pausing in front of the desk. "How are you feeling?"

She looked up and shrugged, letting out a long breath. "I'm fine, I guess. I'm not really sleeping all that well."

"I get that," Nate replied, nodding. "Listen, I'm sorry all that happened. I don't want you to feel unsafe working here, that should not have happened and -

"Nate," Taylor interrupted him, "I know that plane stuff was a huge emergency accident and is not a normal part of the job. Please, don't make yourself feel any worse." She closed her eyes and shook her head. It looked like she may cry. "You saved my life and -

"No, Taylor, please," Nate held a hand up to stop her. "All that matters is no one was hurt. And hopefully we can get some good PR out of this."

She just nodded, letting out another breath. "I'm just going to put all my brain power into the holiday party and try not to think about it. We sent out the details about rescheduling, by the way. Lindsay is on board with rearranging everything for next Saturday. And adding in the extra support for the Common Pantry was a great idea. I think people can deal with a date change if it's for a good cause." She closed her eyes for a brief moment. "But, I just can't thank you enough."

"Well, I'm here if you need to talk, okay?" Nate gave her a small smile. "Have you seen Leo?"


It wasn't a secret to Mackenzie that Nate was having trouble sleeping. Ever since his return back to the city on Friday night, he had been noticeably restless and the bags under his eyes were growing day after day. By Tuesday, when she rolled over to find him staring at the ceiling before his early 6AM alarm went off, she was growing concerned. She asked him, gently, if he was okay. And he always assured her he was but said nothing more. She hated to pry but seeing him struggling was making her nervous.

She was so used to Nate Archibald, headstrong and compassionate, coming to her rescue. But this time, she had to show up for him.

After work Tuesday, she headed towards the Upper East Side. She had an outstanding appointment with the Van Der Woodsen siblings to catch up on The Bachelor. She was looking forward to a few hours to distract her from everything else. Nate had a late Tuesday meeting, so she figured the best thing she could do was indulge in some reality TV and try not to worry about how he was doing.

She stepped out of the elevator into the penthouse and shook off her coat. As she headed further inwards, Eric popped out of the kitchen.

"So, good news, bad news," he started, pausing to finish chewing whatever was in his mouth. "Serena can't make it."

"Why is that good news?"

"It's not," Eric replied, motioning for her to follow him into the kitchen. "The good news is without Serena, I could order sushi."

Mackenzie just smirked at Eric and glanced over his array of sashimi laid out across the counter. He offered a plate to Mackenzie and she slid a few rolls onto it.

"Serena didn't bail because Dan and I aren't talking, did she?" Mackenzie sat down on the big leather sectional and turned to face Eric who was sitting opposite her.

When Rufus and Lily were married, Mackenzie had a strained relationship with her step-family. It didn't help that she lived upstate, then in Australia then Boston. She wasn't always there for family functions or games nights. But she was still happy to have a friendship with both Eric and Serena. Although there were still times she felt on the outside. Jen and Eric had a solid friendship, Dan and Serena had, well, each other. During her summer breaks, Mackenzie stayed in the city with her dad for a few weeks. There had even been an instance where Dan, Serena and Jenny came out to Hudson for a long weekend.

She wasn't always feeling isolated. But it still happened.

Now, living in the city full time with both her siblings and her ex-step-siblings turned friend and sister-in-law, she felt a lot less removed. She was especially grateful for Eric's friendship - she valued his opinions and appreciated his humour during all their dramatic situations.

"Come on Mack, you know she's not like that," Eric said with a shrug. "She's just been working long hours coming up to the holidays. Tourist season, Christmas events, whatever."

Mackenzie popped another piece of sushi into her mouth and nodded. That made sense.

"You and Dan aren't talking at all though?"

"I mean, we've had a pretty stilted conversation going for a while." She reached into the back pocket of her jeans and grabbed her phone, pulling up her most recent text conversation with her brother. She handed her phone to Eric for him to scroll through.

"Yikes." Eric's eyes scanned over the messages, pausing to read small sections at a time. "He's really laying the guilt on thick."

"Right?" Mackenzie pulled her legs up onto the couch, crossing them as she leaned back into the cognac furniture. "I mean, didn't you know Daniel Humphrey lives on a different plane of existence where everything is solved by revealing truths via publication? He seriously thinks the ball is in my court here."

"I guess he's just trying to keep the peace."

"I'm trying out this thing where I just kind of accept I don't have a relationship of any kind with my dad."

"Rufus really hasn't said anything to you?"

Mackenzie shook her head. It had been over a week now without any word from her father. She had been hopeful at first, then disappointed. And now, well, acceptance was the next stage.

Eric sighed and reached his hand to place on her shoulder. "Not everyone has a comfortable relationship with their parents."

"Speaking of parents," Mackenzie glanced around the room. "Where are yours?"

"My mother is likely out shopping, it's been her escape lately. She's either overspending on Christmas gifts or buying more baby stuff for Serena and Dan. And, well, Doctor William has been in Miami since before Thanksgiving."

Mackenzie shot him a confused glance.

"I'm just as lost about it as you are," Eric shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if they were calling it quits again. As far as dads go, I could live without William."

Nothing more needed to be said. It was always clear Eric did not happily let William back into his life the way Serena and his mother had.

"Well," Mackenzie picked up her chopsticks and reached for a piece of sushi, raising it up as if to toast. "To our confusing relationships with our dads, Eric."

He laughed along with her and raised his chopsticks the same way. "May we always be blessed with bottles of wine in their presence."

Mackenzie just smiled, slowly pushing away the feelings coming forward again and again: okay, what if she didn't figure things out with her dad. What if there was always going to be two stages to family gatherings now, where one person left before the other to avoid the awkwardness?

Before she could continue to spiral, Eric interrupted her. "Hey, how's Nate? I read his article this morning going over the plane incident. I commend his ability to turn a minor crisis into a political selling point."

"Well, he was right to sing his praise for the air traffic control team and the paramedics on sight. And he's always supported their unions, it's not all political. Although, I can definitely hear William Vanderbilt getting excited about Nate winning over the blue-collar voters."

"BUt he's okay?"

Mackenzie sighed. She really wasn't sure how she should answer that. "I think so. I mean, physically he just can't do cardio for seven days to make sure his oxygen levels have returned to normal. Mentally, god knows." She paused. "Eric, Nate takes care of me all the time and the minute I have to try and support him instead, I feel especially lost. I'm seriously a terrible partner."

"Oh, come on Mack, I doubt that." Eric shook his head and got up from the couch, heading back towards the kitchen. "Just being there for him when he needs you is all that matters."

"I know, I know." She sighed again, tugging at the bottom hem of her sweater nervously. "He won't even talk to me about it."

"Well, that's fair." Eric came back with the rest of the sushi and a bottle of sparkling wine. "Nate's a bit of a strong, silent type. While I would argue he's always been a bit broody, he's not one to publicise how he's feeling all the time. I'm sure he'll talk about it when he feels ready."

"Aren't you wise." She grabbed the wine and popped it open, grabbing a set of flutes from Eric as he came back from the kitchen again.

"Enough about feelings. Can we talk about holiday looks? Do you think I can pull off a green suit for The Spectator's Holiday party? Which by the way I am so excited was moved by a week so Elliot can join me."

"You know I'm not the fashion forward Humphrey, right?"

"I know, but Jen will disagree regardless."

"Okay, well, are we talking forest green or emerald green? Because with your current hair, you might end up looking like the Wizard of Oz."


"You almost ready?"

Nate popped his head into his ensuite, gazing at Mackenzie as she finished off putting on her lipstick. He couldn't help but let a smile wash across his face as he took her in. While he would argue she looked good in everything, seeing her dressed up in a gown and heels did something to him. The top of her dress was black lace and fell off her shoulders, while the rest of it swept down to the ground. Her hair cascaded to one side in waves of curls, revealing the unmistakable shine of diamonds on her ears and draped across her neck.

She looked delectable. He was already dreaming of peeling the dress off of her in the back of the limo after the awards evening was finished.

He caught her eye in the mirror as she smirked at him, her cheeks turning a familiar shade of red.

"Can you help me with these?"

Mackenzie turned around to face him, smiling as he fumbled with the bottom of his sleeves. She noticed he was holding a pair of cufflinks in his hand.

"Oh. That reminds me. I have something for you." She paused to put her hand up to his cheek for a brief moment then hurried past him back into the bedroom. He took a quick glance into the mirror to adjust his black tie, then followed her.

He watched as she rummaged through her weekender bag, pulling out a small Tiffany's box.

"Shouldn't it be me presenting little blue boxes like this to you?" Nate said with a smirk.

Mackenzie closed in the space between them and grabbed the cufflinks from his hand, exchanging them for the box. "You're hard enough to shop for as it is, Archibald. So let me have this one."

Nate slowly opened up the box, revealing a set of sterling silver cufflinks.

"Mack," he said quietly, picking one up. Etched into the shining silver was the outline of a sunflower.

"I know it's kind of lame," she said quickly. "And maybe the whole sunflower thing escalated from a dumb comment you made but-"

Nate looked up and quieted her by pressing his lips onto hers, feeling a smile appear on her face.

"I love them."

Mackenzie pulled away and looked as his eyes gazed over the small silver links. Considering how their morning had started, she was so happy and relieved to see the joy on his face.

It was well into the night when Nate was startled awake by his own brain, again. Night after night since the plane incident, his sleeps had become restless. He tried to conceal his consistent nightmares by rolling over in bed and trying to control his breathing, but this time, he was even more startled when he felt Mackenzie grab his hand.

"Hey, what's going on?" Her voice was soft as she sat up in the bed, turning to face him. She let go of his hand and reached over to turn on the lamp.

"It's nothing," he muttered out in response, closing his eyes and falling back onto his pillow.

"Nate, you can't keep hiding this from me."

He scoffed quietly. "Hiding what from you, Mackenzie?" He didn't mean to snap at her. He knew that wasn't fair.

She took his change of tone in stride, powering through softly without getting frustrated. "You're not sleeping. You won't talk to me. Everytime I bring up what happened on the plane you change the subject."

He sighed and reached for her hand. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to explain it."

"Well, try me."

Mackenzie was so relieved he finally really talked to her about what was going on in his head.

He told her how it felt for the plane to drop. How he gave his oxygen mask to Taylor. How scared and out of control he felt the whole time. How all he could think about was her. How he kept replaying it again and again in his mind. How they were investigating the company who services his plane.

How stupid he felt when he wasn't even hurt yet all he could think about was how it could have been worse.

Mackenzie had never seen him come so close to crying before. If she was being completely honest, it scared her, too. But at the end of the day, as she held onto him and rubbed his back until he fell asleep, they had each other. They were okay. That was what mattered the most.

"Will you.." Nate motioned to his loose cuffs and gave her his classic Archibald smile. She nodded her head and took the cufflinks from his hand, securing his sleeves safely.

"You know, there is something about seeing you dressed to the nines in a tuxedo that just makes me…" Mackenzie trailed off, biting her lip as she took a step back to drink all of him in.

"If you're going to ruin your lipstick like that, at least let me help," Nate responded smoothly, closing in the distance between them and snaking his arms around her back. He kissed her lips roughly at first, trailing off towards her neck and exposed shoulders. He bit at them gently, closing his eyes as he breathed in whatever scent was lingering on her - peppermint, lavender shampoo, a sweet citrus perfume. Before things escalated too far, they could both feel his phone vibrating in his front pocket.

"I think the car is here," he said as he pulled away, leaving one last kiss on her collarbone.

Mackenzie took a deep breath then let it out slowly to compose herself, trying hard not to think about the other part of Nate she felt in the front of his dress pants. She paused for a moment to fix her hair then took his hand as he led her towards the door.

"So," she paused as he helped her put on her coat, "Are you worried about Chuck doing the intro speech for you?"

Nate just laughed as he buttoned up his own coat. He shrugged as he opened the door, following her down towards the elevator and grabbing her hand to hold. "Right now, I can safely say I'm not worried about anything."


"Listen, Mackenzie, Nate sacrificing his own oxygen mask for that little blonde assistant of his is classic Archibald. He has a bit of a hero complex, always has."

Mackenzie felt somewhat comforted by Blair's reaction about the situation. The moment she had time alone with her thoughts, all Mackenzie could think about was Nate's grand sacrifice while he thought his plane was going down. She was confused about the whole thing - was she mad? She couldn't be mad, he risked his life to save someone else. But something about the situation made her even more irritated by the presence of Taylor Wheeler in Nate's professional life.

It was absurd. Her feelings were absolutely irrational. She knew that. But she just had to say them out loud to someone. And thankfully, Blair and Chuck were both attending the Business awards and Mackenzie could ramble out all her feelings while Chuck and Nate were off getting drinks at the bar.

"I think your worry is cute but you know Nate would have made a grand sacrifice for anyone sitting beside him on the plane," Blair placed her hand on Mackenzie's for a second. "You're the one who goes home to bed with Nate, you're the one he wants to spend his life with. You cannot worry about the interactions he has with every other woman. Trust me. It's not worth the forehead creases." Blair gave Mackenzie's hand a friendly tap, as if her summary was the best advice she could give. "Oh, excuse me. I have to go say hello to that woman over there or I'll never hear the end of it."

Mackenzie watched as Blair stood up from her seat at the table and plastered a faux smile on her face, walking briskly towards a white haired woman down the room.

Mackenzie sighed and brought her hands together in her lap, glancing around the room. The rest of the table was empty still, to be filled by a few of Nate's investors before dinner began. The room was filled with prominent players from various sectors of business in the city and truthfully, Mackenzie was overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. She knew this was normal now - large events, seas of important people, tuxedos and gowns, glasses of champagne. Yet, it still gave her a sense of unease.

She was grateful she took an extra dose of her anxiety medication that afternoon. It seemed to be keeping her nerves at bay.

She felt someone land in the chair beside her and she turned with a smile, expecting to see Nate return with a drink for her. She was greeted by Carter Baizen sitting in Nate's chair, instead.

"Miss Humphrey," he said with a smirk.

"Carter. What a surprise."

She had received an apology message from him over the weekend but chose not to reply. After his words and actions during their night at The Oak Room, she had absolutely no interest in humouring him with any kind of communication anymore.

"I know you're unhappy with me," Carter started, shaking his head. "And for good reason. You don't have to say anything, but I wanted to apologize in person."

"Why are you even here tonight? Don't tell me the association found you worthy of an award."

Carter opened his mouth to reply, then stopped himself. "I guess I deserve that." He let out a breath and smiled again. "My father is on the MBA Board of Directors and always buys the family a table at this event."

Mackenzie just nodded, raising her eyebrows at the idea of Carter spending a night out with his family.

"YOu don't have to say anything here, or accept my apology, but I wanted to plead my case."

Mackenzie glanced around the room again. Nate was still far off at the bar talking to some older gentleman she didn't recognize, although he looked elated to be engrossed in the conversation She knew she could escape and send Carter away, but looking over at him, she saw something in his eyes. Whether it was remorse or regret, she wasn't sure. But something urged her to let him speak.

"Fine. Go ahead."

"I had a truly terrible day last Thursday. I lost a big account, which meant a huge profit loss for my main investor. It carried over into my evening and the way I treated you, what I said to you, that was coming from a .. stupid, dark place. I have a weird desire for destruction, I don't know where that comes from."

"Sounds like you need a therapist."

"You're right. Maybe I do." Carter paused again and looked down. "I just… I'm sorry. All those things I said, or implied. It wasn't fair or appropriate."

"Well. Thanks for your honesty." Mackenzie just nodded, her hands remaining tangled together on her lap. Something still didn't feel right about his words.

"So, I hope you can accept my apology."

"Sure. I can do that, Carter," she replied simply, glancing over at him as he raised his head back up. A smirk returned to his face.

"And I want us to, you know, still be friends." It was a small gesture and right away, as the word friends rolled off his tongue, Carter's left hand found a home on Mackenzie's knee. "But my offer still stands." Before Mackenzie even realized what he was saying, his hand moved just inches further up her thigh.

"Fuck off, Carter." She grabbed his hand and threw it away, her head darting around wildly. "Is this a game to you? You can keep your sob story about your hard day at work and your hard life." She stood up quickly and crossed her arms.

He matched her pose, standing up and rolling his eyes. "It was a joke, doll."

Mackenzie just shook her head, swearing under her breath. "Don't ever touch me again. Rather, don't ever talk to me again."

Luckily, Carter just turned on his heel and walked away without saying anything else. Nate headed back to the table, nearly bumping shoulders with Carter. Neither acknowledged each other.

Nate handed Mackenzie a cocktail and looked her up and down quickly. "Are you okay? What was that about?"

"Trust me, it was nothing." She took a big gulp of her drink and plastered a smile on her face. "Who were you talking to over there?"

Nate couldn't help but smile as he sat back down with her. "It was, uhm, David Rockefeller. I'm truly blown away.. He wants to bankroll my entire campaign. On my accord. He said he loves my platform and can't wait to have dinner with me, well, with us, at Gracie Mansion this time next year."

Mackenzie couldn't help but beam. She wasn't entirely sure what David Rockefeller did but she did know that name meant old money. And to have such a name tied to Nate's mayoral campaign - he could be well on his way to winning.

She just watched as he continued on about their conversation, excitedly explaining how he invited them all to the holiday party next week and his old friendship with the man's granddaughter. If there was one thing she loved about Nate, it was his passion. And watching him light up about his campaign and the future truly helped her forget about everything else - Taylor Wheeler, Carter Baizen, her father.

She suddenly felt so very thankful for this moment with Nate.

She was ready to be by his side for everything.


"I am honoured to be standing up here tonight to introduce the winner of the Manhattan Business Association's Top 20 Under 30 Propserity Award. While this award annually goes to a member whose business has thrived under changing economic waves and hardship, my focus today isn't on the numbers.

I've known Nathaniel Archibald for, well, years. Since we were in elementary school. I have seen him grow in character - from a young, absent minded adolescent to a headstrong, results driven leader of the people.

What sets him apart from his peers is not his age or his background, but his character.

It is in his day to day business operations that his true self shines through.

This award is going to a business owner who saw potential in a new printing warehouse, ensuring dozens of staff kept their jobs in a dying industry and turning a profit within six months of operations.

This award is going to a man who reports with compassion, covering news around the north east with integrity and honesty.

Someone who cares more about the people than the bottom line. Someone who managed to expand into a political hot zone in Washington and proved his investors wrong again and again, showing that the small voices can be the loudest in the crowd.

Someone who took a dangerous incident with his own company plane, where he sacrificed his own safety for his coworker, and spun it into optimism and hope for change.

Nathaniel Archibald is here tonight, collecting this award, not because he owns a thriving unbiased political news website and publication, but because he cares about this city and honest reporting. I am proud to call this man my friend and I'm constantly impressed by his growth as a business leader and force in our community.

Ladies and gentleman, let's raise a glass and welcome the stage, the Manhattan Business Association Prosperity Award Winner, editor-in-chief of The Spectator, Nathaniel Archibald."


"Congrats on the award, Nate," Carter said with a smirk, raising his glass as Nate walked up to the bar. "Honestly, what you've done with The Spectator is impressive."

Nate let out a breath after he ordered his drink and turned to Carter, matching his pose as they leaned against the counter. Nate was blown away not only by Chuck's speech, but by the continued response to his win. "Thanks." He swallowed the lump in his throat and his pride as he remembered what Mackenzie had said previously about Carter: he was her friend, he was nice, he was not the same as before. "How are things going at, uh.. Thrive? I didn't take you as the type to be working in the venture capital world."

Carter sipped his drink and shrugged. "It's fine. But it can be lacking. I think I need something that's a bit more thrilling." His entire face remained emotionless as he replied.

"Well, good luck with that, man," Nate replied with a nod, reaching out to pat Carter's shoulder.

"Hey," Carter grabbed his wrist for a second, narrowing in on his cufflinks. "Aren't those cute. Sunflowers."

Nate pulled his hand away and gave him a confused look. "Good eye. And yeah, they were a gift from Mackenzie."

Carter just nodded, a smirk growing on his face. "Oh. I get it. It's your thing. Sunflowers. Like Mackenzie's tattoo."

Nate nodded and took a few steps away then stopped in his tracks, turning back around to face Carter. "What did you just say?"

"Her tattoo," Carter repeated, tapping on the centre of his chest. "The sunflower."

Nate took a step closer to Carter, then paused to take a long sip from his glass. "How the hell do you know about that?"

"Well, I've seen it in the flesh," Carter said with a half smile, putting his glass down on the bar and taking a step towards Nate. "Actually, I guess I've seen all her tattoos. She has...one on the thigh and one on her back, too, right?"

Nate could feel a heat rising inside him. From the pit of his stomach up to his throat. He was struggling to piece together what Carter was saying. Why was he aware of all of Mackenzie's tattoos - especially the one exclusively hidden on her chest? Did that mean… had they… no. No, that couldn't be it. Maybe she showed him a picture or...

Nate bit his tongue then shook his head. He had to remove himself from the situation before he said something regrettable. He slammed back the rest of his drink and turned away from the chuckling Carter Baizen standing in front of him. He moved through the crowd and tables, finally spotting Mackenzie walking out of the room with Blair.

"Honestly, I tried to talk Lily out of it a thousand times but she's insisting. It's too soon for the baby shower so I think she just wants to do something and -

Nate cut off Blair's half of the conversation as he stopped beside them in the hall outside the ballroom. "Mackenzie, we need to talk."

"Well, I'll leave you two alone," Blair said as she raised her eyebrows at Nate. "Good luck with him, Mackenzie." Blair looked over at Nate but his eyes weren't leaving Mackenzie.

Mackenzie turned to see Nate's furrowed brow and flushed face. "Can this wait just a few minutes? I wanted to go freshen up and -

Nate grabbed her wrist as she started to walk away, then released it. "Did you sleep with Carter Baizen?!"

Mackenzie's eyes shot open. She swallowed hard, tangling her hands together. She twisted her ring around on her finger. She knew this truth was bound to come out sometime but she didn't want it to be like this.

"On second thought, maybe I'll stay," Blair said quietly, crossing her arms as her eyes darted between the two standing in front of her.

"Nate, listen," Mackenzie started to piece together a response as she looked at him. She had never seen him look so angry before. She really didn't like it.

"Did you sleep with Carter?"

"Who told you that -

"It's a yes or no question, Mackenzie."

Mackenzie swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yes, we slept together once."

She could hear Blair gasp.

Nate's eyes grew wide. "You cheated on me?"

"What?" Mackenzie shook her head rapidly. "No! How could you think that? This was before we got back together."

In the midst of their discussion, neither of them realized Carter Baizen himself had approached and was standing a few feet away from Blair. He had unbuttoned his suit jacket and was staring, his eyes darting between Mackenzie and Nate. A smirk never left his face.

Nate was breathing heavily as he looked at her. "Why would you lie to me about this for so long? You told me he took you to dinner and you never spoke again. How am I supposed to believe that this was a one-time thing when you see the guy all the time?" Nate shook his head. "Not to mention you hang around your piece of shit friends who are cheating on their partners, too."

Mackenzie didn't know what to say. All at once, she felt the weight of regret land on her chest. She should have been honest with him months ago. She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. As if on cue, her lungs seemed to start shrinking as her breath got more and more shallow.

"Nate, please…"

"Archibald," Carter piped in as he took a step forward towards them, "If it makes you feel better, I can tell you it only happened once, not due to lack of trying on my part."

"Carter," Mackenzie hissed out his name. "For the love of God, stay out of this." She could see Nate's hands balling into fists at his side. She took a step towards him. "Nate, don't. Please. C'mon, can we just go find somewhere to talk about this privately?"

Nate rolled his eyes. "I don't want to talk to you at all." He turned away from her and back towards Carter.

"Honestly, Nate," Carter spoke slowly, as if to pronounce each individual syllable as a smarmy smile grew on his face. "If it makes you feel any better, she was definitely thinking about you the whole time. Like, I kissed that one delicate spot on her neck - you know the one - and it was your name she called out."

Before Mackenzie could even shout out Carter's name so he would shut the fuck up, Nate's fist was flying towards Carter's face. Mackenzie tried to take a step towards him but Blair pulled her back. Carter stumbled back and fell onto the carpet as Nate swore under his breath. A few people down the hall from them started chattering and moving towards them.

"Nate," Mackenzie took a step towards him as he started to walk away from them, shaking his hand out.

"Mackenzie, don't. I'm done here." Nate didn't even bother turning around as he headed down the hall towards the exit.

Mackenzie could feel her heart collapsing as he walked away. This is not how their night was supposed to go. She didn't mean for it to happen this way - a night of celebration for Nate, full of many congratulations and accolades, crushed by her lack of transparency.

No, your dishonesty. You should have just told him the truth. Why didn't you just tell him this months ago? Idiot. Look what you've done.

"What's going on?" Chuck hurried out of the ballroom and looked at Carter pulling himself up, then over to Blair and Mackenzie.

Blair simply motioned for him to follow Nate then she grabbed Mackenzie's hand.

"Well, Chuck and I were just lamenting over how dull things were getting in this group," Blair said with a weak smile as Mackenzie looked over at her, eyes welled with tears. "C'mon, lets go get some air."

Mackenzie pulled away from Blair's side and rushed towards Carter. "What the fuck is wrong you with?"

"I don't have to be your secret keeper anymore, sweetheart," Carter spat out at her, rubbing his jaw. "We aren't even friends, right? So what does it matter?"

Mackenzie felt a sudden urge to lunge at him, to pummel him with her fists. She needed to lay blame somewhere, on someone. But deep down, she knew it wasn't worth it.

Even moreso, she knew this was her fault.

"You're really a piece of work, Carter," she said quietly as she shook her head. "Thanks for nothing."

Blair took her hand and pulled her away, mumbling advice about not wasting anymore time on him.

Mackenzie tore her eyes away from Carter and looked down the far end of the hall, her eyes darting around to see if she could see Nate or Chuck. In the sea of tuxedos, everyone suddenly looked the same. She could feel the waves of terrified anxiety moving through her and she tried hard to focus on where Blair was leading her, to an outside terrace across from the ballroom.

The night air hit them like a wall as they stood outside. Mackenzie held onto the cool stone balcony and tried to take deep breaths.

All she could hear were Nate's words playing again and again in her mind: "I'm done here."


They say when it rains, it pours.