Chapter 16

Curiouser and Curiouser

Severus felt as though he were two different people, now- one with a light deep within him that was doomed to be snuffed out with his memories. The incongruence between his younger and elder self was so strong that Severus found himself watching the scenes pass as though he were an outsider, once more.

He followed in amazement as his younger self, along with Lily, disembarked the city bus and approached King's Cross, dragging their trunks behind them. As they entered King's Cross, Severus pulled Lily into an alcove, away from the crowds.

"We'll have to say goodbye here," Severus said. "You can go ahead of me, and I'll wait a few minutes before I go. That way, we won't be seen together."

Lily sighed, a look of concern filling her eyes. "Are you sure you want to keep this secret? It doesn't seem fair to you."

Severus took Lily's hand and brought it to his lips. "It's safer this way- for you and for me. Your blood status already makes you a target; our involvement would bring you under greater scrutiny."

Lily nodded. "Remember where James told you to meet us tomorrow evening."

"Don't worry," Severus said with a grin. "Even if I had forgotten, I still have his gift."

Severus drew a long chain from under his shirt, revealing a plain, silver disk. The disk was a locket, the inside of which was just large enough to hold a small, folded sheet of paper. All Severus had to do was speak the name, "Lily" or "James," and the paper would be transported to the corresponding locket that Lily and James both wore.

These remarkable magic items had been found, apparently, in a box of junk in James's garret.

Severus dropped the locket and ran a finger over Lily's soft cheek, and then he leaned down, kissing her gently on the lips.

"Go," he whispered. "I'll be fine. James is waiting for you."

Lily flung her arms around Severus's neck, and then she moved to exit the alcove. She hesitated and turned back at the entrance, but Severus gave her encouraging nod, and she smiled and winked in return.

Then Lily was gone.

Young Severus fingered the silver disc for a few moments, and then he slipped it back under his shirt. The memory of reassurance this simple move had bestowed- the cool touch of metal that burned like a brand against his skin- brought Severus back into his younger self. The locket had served as a constant reminder that he was loved and accepted. It had been a token of the precious secret that he kept.

The knowledge that he had once been loved reignited the light inside the elder Severus, and his perspective blended with the young man's once more.

Severus counted five minutes, and then emerged from the alcove. As he walked toward platform 9 ¾, he heard a familiar voice shouting behind him.

"Hey- ponce. Hold up," Avery called.

Severus took a deep breath and steeled himself for the role he had to play.

"What is it, wanker?" he asked as Avery trotted alongside him.

"Look at your face- if looks could kill, you'd be shooting green light from your eyes," Avery said, laughing. "I'd have thought you'd be happier to get away from the muggles."

"If there's one thing that doesn't inspire happiness in me," Severus sneered, "it's a crowded train platform."

"Just look at the muggles," Avery said, gazing around him with glittering eyes. "They're swarming like ants. What I wouldn't do to be able to start a bit of chaos, eh? Once I'm out of school, there will be no end to the mayhem."

So, you're an aspiring terrorist? Lovely, Severus thought.

"Keep your eyes out for an invitation," Avery continued. "Word has it that Lucius Malfoy is going to have a little get-together for promising students, and there will be a very special guest for us all to meet."

So soon? Severus thought with a start. He forced his mouth into a bitter grin, and said, "I'm not worried. Lucius can see talent, and my O.W.L.s will be hard for him to ignore."

"One of the perks of being a ponce, I guess," Avery said with a raucous laugh. "I'll have to do something special this semester to make sure he will notice me."

Duly noted, Severus thought.

Severus didn't see Lily or James on the train platform, which was lucky- he wasn't sure he was ready to keep his countenance around them. Severus and Avery settled themselves in an empty compartment, and soon after, Mulciber entered, followed shortly by Bellatrix and Narcissa Black.

"Bella-" Nacissa was whispering. "I want to sit at the front."

"Not now," Bellatrix said, sitting next to Mulciber. "We have things to discuss, isn't that right?"

"Yeah-" Mulciber said brusquely. Then he turned to Severus. "I saw your mudblood girl on the platform holding hands with James Potter. Bad luck, mate."

"The nerve of that bint!" Avery exploded. "After Snape spent years defending her- this is how she thanks him? We ought to hit her with a few- interesting hexes."

You do, and I will destroy you utterly, Severus thought. Out loud, he said, "Leave Evans to me- she's mine."

"Alight," Avery said, a manic grin spreading across his face. "Let me know if you need help, when the time comes. In the meantime, I'll focus on Potter."

"Don't you dare. Potter is mine, as well."

For a moment, Severus had to school his expression, for he was tempted to grin at the double-meaning his words had implied. Thankfully, his anger overrode his private amusement, and he could see his companions took his anger to be directed at James and Lily, instead of Avery.

"But really, what did you expect, sweetie?" Bella said with an exaggerated pout. "After you declared your true loyalty by the lake, poor Lily didn't have anywhere else to go."

Severus almost dropped his façade, then. No wonder Lily had been so angry- even Bellatrix Black had interpreted Severus's use of the expletive - mudblood – to be a declaration of his loyalty to the blood purists. He wanted to storm out of the carriage, find Lily, and apologize all over again.

"It is a shame, though," Narcissa was saying in a quiet voice. "I'd thought that Evans had potential. I've been watching her, and it's clear she's not content to watch the wizarding world step quietly aside while muggles claim all of the accomplishments and glory for themselves."

"It doesn't matter. She was born to muggles, and so she will always carry their filth in her veins," Bellatrix said. "Besides- the girl is mad. It's best to forget about her, Sevvy my love. There are much better witches for you to go after."

Severus looked around, feeling disgust settle in the pit of his stomach as he viewed the faces of those he'd once considered friends with new eyes.

Not likely, Severus thought. He raised his eyebrows. "I am currently focused on more important matters than romance, Bella."

Bellatrix shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm only here to give the three of you a warning- don't trust Slughorn."

A tense silence settled over the carriage, and finally, Mulciber spoke.

"So- I take it old Sluggy isn't as neutral as he pretends?" he said, his face twisting into a dark scowl.

"Hardly," Bellatrix said with a snort. "Snape and Rudkins would both be in his precious little club, if so. But it appears that ickle Sluggy is scared of the dark arts, and he wants Dumbledore to protect him."

"Watch what you say around Slughorn," Narcissa added. "Now please, Bella-"

"We have to go now," Bellatrix said, standing. "Ta-ta, my darlings."

"Well, this is interesting," Avery said, narrowing his eyes.

"Indeed it is," Severus added.

A plan was beginning to take shape in Severus's mind. If he meant to protect Lily, he would need a way to leak information from Slytherin without getting caught, and if he played his cards right, Slughorn would provide just the scapegoat he would need to do so.

You try to hurt Lily, and I will see your pathetic plans for world-domination crumble to the dust, Severus thought as Bellatrix left.

#

One evening and one day passed; it was harder for Severus to get through than he'd thought it would be.

He had avoided looking over at the Gryffindor table at the welcoming feast, though he felt the pull to go join them grow stronger with each moment. Afterward he had spelled his bedcurtains shut, cast muffliato, and spent the evening writing notes to Lily and James and pouring over the replies. When the sun rose, he reluctantly vanished the mess of papers and tucked the locket back into his robes.

He'd shared NEWT level arithmancy with Lily, so he sat at the back of the room during class, keeping his eyes glued to his book. He wasn't able to avoid James, however- the two shared NEWT level Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Professor Collins- a man who had been released from Azkaban that summer and now believed himself to be a vampire- had assigned James to be Severus's partner.

"Ve vill be pwacticing vordless stunning and shield spells only," the professor said in the worst Transylvanian accent Severus had ever heard. "I vill monitor your pwogwess. Pwease begin."

"Do your best, Snape," James said with a serious expression, though his eyes twinkled with private amusement. "I'm not scared of you."

He's going to burst out laughing any second, Severus thought. I'll have to cast some childish prank spell at myself and frame him for it, if he does.

"I'm not afraid of you, either," Severus said. "Evans taught me wordless magic, herself. Let's see how well you do without your lackeys to back you up."

James waved his wand in the air a few times with no effect. Severus made one attempt, and then on his second he sent a wordless stunner at James. James fell, and without thinking, Severus found his feet were carrying him forward to help James. He stopped himself, and then slowly backed into his original position.

"Curses!" James said, standing up. "You'll pay for that, Snape."

Did he actually say "curses?" Severus thought in amazement.

James waved his wand a few more times, and then managed a weak stunner, which Severus blocked wordlessly.

"Is that the best you can do, pretty boy?" Severus asked.

"There's more where that came from, Sevvy-pants."

At that moment, James was hit from behind with a jelly-legs jinx, and Severus was pulled forward with another spell, causing him to crash into James's prone form.

"Oh no- they're fighting again," Severus heard Remus say.

Sirius stepped forward and pulled Severus off of James, whispering, "get some acting lessons, you two," before helping James to his feet.

The whole room had stopped practicing, and were staring at James and Severus as Sirius pulled them apart. Severus saw Mulciber staring at him from across the room, so he made a show of struggling to push past Sirius toward James. Thankfully he had dropped his wand, so he didn't have to throw a hex.

"Bweak it up, you two," Professor Collins said, casting a wordless shield between them. "Iv I catch you fighting again, you vill haff to leave the woom."

"Yes Sir," James and Severus said in chorus.

#

Severus muddled through the rest of the day without getting into any scrapes. He went to the library after class, and though it was quiet, he missed the scratching of Lily's quill, the sighs of satisfaction she let loose whenever she grasped a difficult problem, and the excited whispers they shared as they planned their studies.

Finally, when the Library closed, Severus almost flew to the corridor where James had told him to go, and he quickly found the portrait James had described.

Severus hesitated, hoping he had understood James correctly when he'd said to 'tickle the pear.'

The pear giggled, and the portrait swung open, revealing a massive kitchen.

"Sev!" Lily said, running across the kitchen and into Severus's arms. "Come in! We're safe here- it's just us and the house elves, and they are bound to keep everyone's secrets."

Severus walked into the kitchen, and the portrait swung itself shut as the elves squeaked, "good evening, sir!" in chorus.

Lily looked around at the elves with a strained smile, and then shuddered slightly.

At that moment, the portrait swung open again, and James burst through.

"You aren't mad at me, are you Sev?" he said pleadingly. "I didn't mean anything I said during our duel. You know that, right? And what Sirius did- he was just trying to cover for us."

"Don't worry, James," Severus said. "Sirius is right- you're a terrible actor."

James laughed. "I'd thought he was talking to both of us." Then James paused, his eyes growing wide. "Hey- say it again."

"What- you're a terrible actor?"

"No- the part where you called me James."

"Ok, James," Severus said, and then James cut him off with a passionate kiss.

Behind them, Lily giggled. "What happened in defense class, anyway? Mary told me that the two of you almost killed each other."

"Oh good- they bought it," James said. He took Severus's hand and led him to a table, which was already laid out with tea and biscuits. "You see Lils- Severus and I were paired together in defense, so we had to pretend to fight. I guess we were doing a terrible job, because Sirius hexed the pair of us to make it look like we were trying to kill each other."

Lily sat, laughing so hard that the teacups rattled. "I almost wish I'd taken defense this year, just to see that."

"Lily- why aren't you taking defense?" Severus asked quietly.

"You know I've never had the stomach for fighting," Lily sighed, adding milk to her tea. "And I have so many other things to study before I leave school that I had to leave that class time open. I thought I would focus on useful charms instead- wards, glamours, and such- so I would be able to defend myself when… when the war comes."

"The war isn't just coming- it's here," Severus said. "Avery is planning to do something that will catch the Dark Lord's eye this semester, and I have reason to believe he might make one of you his target. I'll be keeping my ears open, but watch your back in the meantime."

James nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks for letting us know, Sev. Lily- do you think that you could ask Slughorn to keep an ear out, as well?"

"That may not be as helpful as you think," Severus said. "Bellatrix has warned everyone that Slughorn is siding with Dumbledore, so Avery is unlikely to let anything slip around him."

Lily's eyes went wide. "You don't think they'll target Slughorn too, do you?"

"He's still a professor, and things haven't descended into open warfare, yet," Severus said. "Still, it might be a good idea to warn him. Discreetly."

"I can be discreet," Lily said. "Don't worry."

"I can't help but worry, Lily. You don't want to get on any of the Slytherins' bad side. I've heard rumors that Lucius Malfoy is planning to introduce the most promising Slytherins to the Dark Lord at Christmas."

Lily gasped. "So soon? I'd thought we'd have more time before…"

"As I said- it's started." Severus leaned forward and whispered, even though he knew, logically, that the room was secure.

"Do you want me to go, if I'm invited? If I do, I may be able to get more information about the Dark Lord's plans."

"Sev- you don't have to," Lily whispered, entwining her fingers with his. "I can't imagine how dangerous that would be- to spy on the Dark Lord himself."

"I am willing to take the risk," Severus said, "if it can help you and James. James- do you know a safe way to get the information to Dumbledore, if you need to?"

James was staring at Severus, a look of open and frank admiration shining in his eyes. "This is the most courageous thing I've ever heard, Sev."

"It's really no-" Severus said before being pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

"You're really in this all the way now, aren't you?" James said.

"I am," Severus whispered.

Severus pulled away from James, and he looked over to see Lily's eyes were filled with tears.

"Lily-"

"Oh! Sev," Lily cried, and she stood to join James, spilling kisses all over Severus's face.

The three held each other for a time, and then Lily returned to her seat, wiping her eyes with a napkin and quickly adopting a businesslike persona.

"Alright- if we're going to do this, we will need to work harder than ever," she said. "James- we're all keeping important secrets, so it's vital that you join our study group now."

"Er- study group? How will joining a study group help me keep a secret?"

"Knowledge is power," Lily said in a singsong voice. "Sev and I have been hoarding power for years, haven't we?"

"We've been trying, at least," Severus said. "We've been straying from the standard curriculum for a while- studying anything that seemed useful. This year, Lily and I had planned to learn mind magic- occlumency and legilimency- which will be useful if we're going to keep each other's secrets."

"Oh- ah, I'd be glad to join," James said, blushing. "But, er- actually…"

Lily sighed. "What is it, James?"

"I… I already know mind magic."

Severus, taken completely off guard, dropped his teacup with a clatter.