Chapter Nineteen

Amber flew across the kitchen with the container of potato salad, dumping it from the store container into a glass dish for serving. She ran back over to the stove and stirred the beans that were in a pan.

She turned to go to the fridge and almost ran directly into Steve. He caught her by both arms, stopping her.

"Whoa…slow down Amber, you're going to be worn out before they get here."

"I don't want be focused on cooking when they are here, I want to be able to sit with them and talk. I want to get to know them."

"You can sit and talk, I'll cook and do whatever is needed. I think you need to sit and relax right now."

She looked at him like he was crazy, "I have so much to do still."

He held steady to her arms and looked her straight on, speaking calmly, "No, I have so much still to do, you are going to come over here," he guided her to the table, "and sit down." He pulled out a chair with his foot and stood her in front of it, "Now sit."

She shook her head, looking past him to the counter and the many things she still needed to do, "But, Steve…"

He raised an eyebrow over her attempt to argue with him. "Sit!"

She blew out an exasperated breath and reluctantly sat down.

He went back to the counter and stirred the beans first, turning down the heat on them to simmer. There was a bowl of hamburger meat that he started working on next.

"That needs salt and pepper," she said to him from her chair. "And then formed into patties for the BBQ."

Steve dug his hands into the mix and pulled out enough to make a single burger. "I like to put the spices on them once they're on the grill. Danny likes lots of salt but Kono likes garlic salt, and Chin likes his plain with two slices of cheese." He looked over his shoulder at her. "How do you like yours?"

She watched him flip the meat back and forth in his hands flattening them out. "I don't know, I guess like Chin."

"Good, that'll be easy." He whipped out the other four burgers as fast as a short order cook, setting them on a plate and then washed his hands before going to the fridge. He took out the lettuce and two tomatoes.

Amber sat on the edge of the chair watching him; it was an odd display before her, seeing a man in the kitchen doing everything that she was supposed to be doing. The scene before her never would have played out at her house in Indiana. She would have been running around like crazy while Kevin watched TV or sat out back with his first beer in his hand.

"Make sure you wash the lettuce first," she reminded him.

Steve glanced over his shoulder at her. "This ain't my first rodeo," he said with a southern drawl, "but ok."

She chuckled and sat back in the chair. "I'm sorry but I find it very hard to sit here and do nothing."

"Fine," he caved, "you can slice the tomatoes."

"Thank you!" she replied coming off the chair. She stood next to him and reached over for a paring knife. "I'm just not used to someone else doing the work."

"Why should you have to be in here running around like crazy doing everything by yourself? I've got two hands." He peeled the head of lettuce apart doing it exactly the way she would have done.

"Thank you, you're right too, but like I said, I'm just not used to anyone helping me."

"By anyone, you mean Kevin right?"

She nodded, "Yes. He wasn't as in tune to the hectic scene in the kitchen as you are." She huffed, "And even if he was, I don't think he would have cared. That was a woman's job."

Steve snorted a little at that last sentence, "And Danny calls me a Neanderthal."

Amber looked over at him between slices of the tomato and chuckled. "Yes, that's what he was, a Neanderthal."

"Well now you have me," he said, picking up his pieces of lettuce and going to the sink. "I don't mind being in the kitchen."

His statement was innocent she was sure, but the way it was put it made him sound like Kevin's replacement, and Kevin had been her husband.

She could see herself being married to him. She'd had to work so hard at her marriage to Kevin, too hard; with Steve she felt it would be effortless.

"How's that?" he said, displaying his clean lettuce.

She looked up at him and smiled, "Perfect." but she wasn't speaking of the lettuce.

Amber sat at the table out back with the four of them as they spoke of the PCT. Their plates were empty and Chin and Danny were both slowing picking at a second helping of potato salad while they drank their beers.

"Would you ever do it again?" Danny asked, looking at both Steve and Amber.

They glanced at each other and smiled, both replying simultaneously, "No," and then laughed.

"Although," Amber admitted, "I would like to finish it. We never got to see Crater Lake and I was really looking forward to seeing that and other places up in Oregon and Washington as well."

"Me too," Steve added, "and I'd like to see the very end too."

Amber pushed her chair back, "Someday maybe." She got up and picked up the empty plates in front of Steve and Kono.

"Hey, just leave it," Steve said, "sit down and relax. I'll do it later."

"Too late," she said, taking the plates in the house. She had been unnerved before the arrival of the three, knowing they were Steve's closest friends and even considered family. She had already briefly met Danny and liked him very much, hoping Chin and Kono were going to be the same.

So far Chin was as delightful as Danny, but Kono seemed a little standoffish and having been married to a cop for so many years Amber could tell when she was being silently investigated. She knew of the friendship between she and Catherine, knowing this must be hard for her.

She washed the dishes off in the sink and put a couple of things away before going up the stairs to put her hair up in a ponytail. The afternoon heat was beginning to get the better of her sitting outside, but the inside of the house was a nice seventy-six degrees.

As she came out of her room, wrapping her hair up she ran into Kono coming out of the bathroom.

"Oh, hi Kono," she pulled the ponytail tight. "I needed to get this hair off of my neck." She still wasn't quite sure what to make of her. She had engaged in the conversations with Steve and Chin and Danny, but had yet to really speak to her, except for when they had first met. "I'm still not used to the weather here."

"Its nice in here the house though," Kono replied. "I don't know how you talked Steve into getting air conditioning."

"I didn't talk him into it," she clarified, "I didn't want him to do it at all, but he insisted. And one thing I learned about Steve, once he makes up his mind he sticks to it, and also," she smiled, "he's a very kindhearted man."

Someone who only truly knew Steve McGarrett would only have used that last word that she had to describe him. Most people had other, maybe more harsh words to define him, but if you were one of the few who earned his respect then you saw a side of him that was not only kindhearted but was loyal through and through. She had witnessed it more than once in the line of fire. She truly believed he would step in front of a bullet for her or any one of them, and because of his leadership and friendship to her, she would do the same.

"He is a good guy," Kono replied.

Amber motioned back toward her room, "Would you like a tie, to pull your hair up too?" she asked, feeling kind of foolish for asking but was becoming desperate to fit in with her. "I have an extra one in my room."

Kono tilted her head just slightly, confused over the room not the question. She pointed to the open space, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be nosy, but that's your room," she then pointed with her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the master bedroom, "and not there?"

Amber caught on right away to what she was asking. "Oh…no," she replied uncomfortably, "um, no. We don't share a room. It's not like that. Steve and I have a great deal of respect for one another, but that…that would just make things so complicated. We're just friends…"

She wasn't sure how to explain then that night she had conceived, because obviously they had been more than just friends at least once, so she didn't try. Instead she tried to explain why they lived together, were having a baby, but the relationship was strictly platonic.

"He and I are both in very unique situations, and I know how much he loved Catherine. He still does. I saw it first hand many times when we were hiking. He's still grieving for her, and what happened between us…it was just a one-time thing. He needs time to heal and …" she felt that familiar pain in her heart as she thought of Adam and Ava, "and so do I. It's better this way for the both of us." She had convinced herself that it was, but now saying it out loud for the first time, it didn't feel so right. They had everything needed for a great relationship, except neither one knew how to get past the fear of moving on.

Kono was a little taken back over this new revelation and that she had spoken of Catherine by name. She hadn't expected nor even considered the idea that they weren't cohabitating. She just assumed and now that she had been enlightened, her guilt for condemning Steve resurfaced, but her respect for Amber over allowing him the space needed, magnified.

"I didn't know that. I don't mean to pry into your relationship. It's really none of my business."

"Of course it is," Amber quickly replied. "You and Chin and Danny, you mean so much to him and I see that you all care a great deal for him as well. That's important, especially now when he's going through what is probably the most difficult time of his life."

Now Kono's guilt extended to Amber, for saying the harsh things she had about her behind her back to Steve. She was nothing like she had thought, nothing. "I think he was lucky to have met you on the trail, Amber," she said sincerely.

Amber smiled brightly over that. "Thank you, but I think I was the lucky one. He saved my life, twice, literally."

Kono knew of the avalanche but not of the other, only knowing of Amber as the hiking partner that Steve had met but really nothing more that. Danny talked more about how and what they were doing rather than personal struggles. "Twice? I heard about your unfortunate avalanche, but missed the other."

Amber bit her bottom lip and looked down at the floor, "It wasn't from an accident. I was in a very bad place in my life when we met, as was he, but I wasn't as strong as Steve." She looked up at her, "To be quite honest with you, I don't think I would have come off that trail alive if I hadn't met him. He pulled me back from the ledge that I was standing too close to."

Kono's compassionate side kicked in, seeing a sadness overcome her. "I know why Steve was there, if you don't mind my asking, why were you?" wondering if maybe she had lost a spouse as well.

Amber hesitated, she'd already invited her into she and Steve's relationship both at home and on the PCT, so the question didn't seem all that intrusive. She decided that if she wanted to be accepted by her then she had better start by trusting her. It wasn't all that difficult of a decision considering Steve did.

"I lost my children, Adam and Ava. They both died and I just needed to escape," she replied.

Kono gasped, shocked over hearing what she just had. She instinctively reached out to her, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Amber. I didn't know."

Her reaction was normal and not surprising to Amber, but having to tell anyone about her tragedy was never easy. It seemed surreal sometimes speaking of Adam and Ava in that way, because in so many ways they were still alive to her and always would be, in her memories and in her heart.

"I'm slowly healing," she said. "Steve has been a been a big part in that, and I think, I hope I've helped him as well."

"You have," Kono replied. "When he left here he was broken in so many ways, but just sitting down there with him today, it's like having the old Steve back, so thank you." She in turn reached out and touched her on the arm, "I didn't know you before, but I hope I'm talking to the old Amber too," she smiled.

"You are," she replied, returning the smile. She was the old Amber she thought pleasingly, but the Amber pre Kevin, who was so much happier, like she was now. "Let's go back down and see what those boys are up to," she suggested.

Kono followed behind her down the stairs, "If you ever want to get out of the house, just give me a call and we can have lunch or something."

"Thanks, Kono. I might just take you up on that."

"I hope you do," she replied sincerely as they came back out to the lanai with the others.

Steve watched them come down from the stairs together, a little surprised but pleased to see the both of them talking, hoping it was going well.

Kono came out on the lanai and took the vacant seat next to him as Amber finished up something in the kitchen. She leaned over to him and whispered, "You were right, I like her. I like her a lot."

He looked over at her and smiled over that, "Thanks, Kono."

"Don't let life pass you bye, Steve," she added. "I knew Catherine well, and I know she would have wanted you to be happy. That's all I'm going to say."

That shocked the hell out of him as he leaned back in his chair, knowing that she was speaking of Amber. She came out on the lanai just then carrying a box of ice cream bars.

"Dessert," she announced, tearing it open and setting it down on the table. "These are the best," she declared taking one out for each of them.

"Ice cream bars?" Steve chuckled as he set his beer down and took the treat.

"Hey," Kono reminded him, "she's pregnant she gets whatever she wants. Welcome to your new life."

"Yes! I like that," Amber laughed, holding up her bar. "And since I can't toast with a beer, cheers to my new friends."

"I'll eat to that," Chin replied.

"Cheers!" they all said simultaneously as they touched the tips of their ice cream bars together.

Steve had been hesitant about the BBQ, but it had been Amber's suggestion and he didn't want to let her down, but in the end it had gone off better than he had imagined.

He glanced over at her and smiled as she happily ate her dessert.

'Who wouldn't love her,' he thought, seeing that glow about her again that made his heart beat just a little faster.

….

As they were all leaving Steve stopped at the small table by the front door that had a drawer. He opened it and took out the set of keys that were inside of it. He stared down at them in his hand for a second before clasping his fingers closed and then displayed a gentle smile on his face, feeling pleased about his decision.

He came outside as the others were saying goodbye with small talk.

"Hey Kono," he called out.

As she turned and looked at him, he tossed the keys to her. She caught them and looked at him oddly. "What's this?"

He motioned with his head toward the blue Corvette in the driveway. "It's yours. You know that car better than anyone else, and…" he paused and nodded, "Catherine would have wanted you to have it."

Her mouth dropped open as Danny and Chin's displayed a broad smile, they too knew it was the right decision without even having to think twice about it.

"Steve," Kono said in awe, "are you sure?"

He nodded, "Yes. I'm sure. Leave your car here and I'll drive it in on Monday."

She looked down at the keys again and then back up at him with tears in her eyes as she came towards him.

He embraced her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice too choked up to speak.

"You're welcome." He fought back his own emotions as well, letting her go and quickly wiping away the moisture from his eyes, "Just don't drive like a bat out of hell like she did," he chuckled.

She laughed with everyone else. "No promises," Kono said, "but it's a Vette; it's made to be driven that way."

He had no qualms, knowing she could handle it. "Enjoy."

He and Amber stood outside as she drove off, holding her hand out the window and giving him the shaka sign as she did.

She looked over at him with an adoring smile, "That was incredibly generous of you. Was that something you had planned?"

"No, it was just the spare of the moment thing. She and Catherine were best friends. It was right for her to have it."

"Yes it was." She looked upon him with endless admiration, thinking to herself…'Who wouldn't love him.'

"Steve!" Amber called out from her room. "Steve!" she shouted again hearing his footsteps quickly ascending the stairs, seconds later he appeared at her door with a more than concerned expression.

"What? What's wrong?! Are you ok?"

"The baby," she said with a broad smile, "I felt it."

His face immediately went from alarmed to total wonderment. "You did?" he asked as he came inside. "What did it feel like?"

"Like when you hick up but I didn't hick up."

He found that answer astounding, able to relate to the feel. "Where did you feel it?"

She reached over and took his hand, setting it on her stomach just below her naval, "Right here."

He held perfectly still, even holding his breath, waiting patiently for the moment to feel his baby for the first time.

Neither one spoke as they waited.

He looked at her after it became obvious that it wasn't going to happen again and she shrugged sadly, "It might be too small for you to feel yet."

He removed his hand with a disappointed look on his face, "Oh well, maybe next time."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have got all excited about it."

"Why?" he argued that point, "I'm glad that you're excited about it. You should be. I'll get my chance. The doctor thought you were further along than you were, so he must be growing pretty fast, or she."

"Do you want a boy?" she asked.

He'd thought about that question already, it was impossible not to have, but his conclusion was simple. "I want ten toes, ten fingers and healthy. That's what I want."

She liked that answer, "Me too." She put her hand over her stomach again. "Do you want to find out before it's born, or wait for the big unveiling?"

That was a question he hadn't asked himself yet. "I don't know, what about you?"

Amber shrugged, she had known the sex beforehand with both Adam and Ava because Kevin had wanted to know, but she if she'd a choice she would have always wanted it to be a surprise. "I could wait, but if you can't then that's ok too."

"I can wait. I think it might be kinda cool to find out when it's born." Which brought him to his next question. "Can I be there? In the room I mean when you have it?"

"Of course," she reached over and took his hand, "I want you to be there with me."

He smiled over both the answer and the fact that she was holding his hand, which to him meant that she truly meant it. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"It can, yes."

He cringed slightly over that, not sure he wanted to see that part. "But you can take something for it, right? I read that."

Amber smiled over his inexperience of the whole procedure, but the fact that he was preparing for it too was a delight. "Yes, they can give me something, but it still can be painful." She thought of her delivery with both Adam and Ava. "I had an epidural with Adam and he just slipped out, but with Ava, she was a little more difficult and I had to have an emergency C-section with her. It was very scary, but she came out ok." She put her hand over her belly and the tiny bump that was only noticeable to her at that time, feeling the sadness over speaking about her delivery with Adam and Ava. "I remember when they put them in my arms," she spoke softly, recalling the first time she had seen each of those two beautiful little faces, the memory tore at her now, "it was the most amazing and unforgettable moment of my life." she looked up at him with tears in her eyes, "you'll see."

He knew without a doubt that the tears were not brought on by joy over the moment she was describing, but by the sadness of missing her two children. His heart went out to her wishing he could say something to ease the pain she was feeling, but there was nothing, so instead he put his arms around her.

Her emotions were normally all over the place when she was pregnant but this pregnancy and the loss of them was even more climatic. The second his arms went around her it poured out of her all at once.

Her mood change happened so fast, but he wasn't surprised nor was he uncomfortable with it. On the contrary, he understood it wholeheartedly and told her so by holding her tighter as she cried on his shoulder.

After a time she began to calm and pulled away from him, "I'm so sorry, Steve. I don't know what came over me," she sniffed, not wanting to ruin this precious moment in his life by exposing him to her grief. She felt his warm hands on her face as he lifted it so he could see her.

"Hey, listen to me. Don't apologize for what you are feeling right now, and it's ok to talk about it with me. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you at times but you need to know that its ok to cry and you also need to know that you have an endless supply of hugs and shoulder support, right here." He tapped his finger on his shoulder. "I think it will help if you talk about them. The baby inside of you should know of their brother and sister and who they were." He used his thumb to wipe away a tear that trickled down her face. "I want to know them, because in a way, I feel like they are a part of my life now too."

She was overwhelmed by his generosity to be able to put his feelings aside and cater to hers, knowing how much she needed to keep them alive. The fact that he had zoned in on that alone was astounding to her. It also made her all the more aware that he too needed to keep Catherine alive.

"Thank you for that, Steve." She covered his hand that was still resting on her cheek, "And I want you to have that same experience. Catherine…" she began, seeing his expression change to sorrow just over the sound of her name, "she was a huge part of your life, and you have such a huge heart." She moved her hand, pressing it against his chest, "there's room in there for all of them, don't feel that you have to let her go, ever."

He had no words to express the gratitude over what she had just said to him, because in a way he felt that was exactly what had been happening. He'd felt Catherine's presence slowly slipping away from his life and it was painful. The day he had given away her car to Kono he'd never imagined the emotional repercussion that would have come from it. It tore at him for days, and then seeing it everyday in the parking lot at work was like a knife to his heart.

"Sometimes…" he began, his voice low and filled with emotion, "I catch myself in a conversation wanting to say something about her, but I stop myself."

"Why?" Amber replied, "Don't do that Steve. She was family. She was your family. That will never change no matter how many children you have or if you even re-marry. She pressed her hand into his chest, "She'll always be here because you loved her, talking about her is the best way to honor that love. And there's nothing wrong with that."

He nodded his understanding, looking upon with her with such respect and appreciation. "That little baby is lucky to have you, Amber."

She smiled shyly over his kind words, "You too, Steve."

The moment that would be etched in their minds forever was interrupted by another one that would be as well, but not as pleasant.

"Is that your phone?" Amber said.

Steve turned his head, hearing it ringing downstairs, "Yep."

He quickly went down and saw Danny's face on the front of it as he picked it up.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I'm at work," he said, "You need to come down here?"

"Why are you at work on a Saturday when we have no case?"

"I forgot Gracie's permission slip she needs for school Monday and while I was here the out of state list of warrants came out for the week, it was sitting on my desk. You need to come down and look at it."

"What? Why?"

"Steve, just come down here, right now."

"Danny, I…"

"I mean it! Get down here!" he left it at that, hanging up the phone and ending the conversation, not wanting to tell him what he had to over the phone. It needed to be done in person. He set the phone down and picked up the form with the fifteen names and photos on it, but it was the fourth one down in particular that stood out and had his attention, as well as the reason for the warrant.

Warrant issued for Amber Michelle Scott: Age 29: Height 5' 7: Weight 128 lbs.: Hair, Brn: Eyes Hzl: Suspect involved in a murder case involving victims, Kevin David Scott, 31, Adam David Scott, 8 and Ava Denise Scott, 5, issued for Warren County Indiana, by Officer Christopher Hairfield.

Next to the information was a picture of Amber from her Indiana Driver's License, making no mistake that she was indeed the person of interest.

Danny tossed the paper on his desk and sat back in his chair, running his hands through his hair. He knew of Amber's husband and what he had done, not believing for a second that the woman he knew was capable of being involved in such a horrible crime.

"I don't know who you are Officer Hairfield," he whispered uneasily, "or what kind of game you're playing, but you're picking on the wrong woman. Steve is going to lose his mind."