Heyyy! I'M BACK! I know, I know it's been awhile and that wasn't my intention but, life was shitty and I had a lot of emotional healing to get through, but I'm doing much better now. I really appreciate all your sweet messages, they meant a lot and knowing I have the best readers/supporters is why I was so eager to finish this chapter as soon as possible especially after that last one ended...
So lets just jump back into it!
WARNING: More angst...
I know not everyone is a fan of angst but this is necessary, no matter how much it hurts :(
Enjoy!
-Don't follow me. Don't talk to me, ever again.
Each word is like a sword in his spine.
The more Klaus played the hurtful promise in his head the more it stung—the more he recalled the devastation and bloodshot eyes, the more he bruised. Each word gritted through her teeth like nails on a chalkboard, like she wanted him to remember how she felt. She never looked at him like that, she never talked to him like that, even when they meant nothing to each other.
Despair, regret, shame? Maybe all three?
Only barely scratched the surface of how he was feeling at this moment, standing in the middle of a football field alone and empty. Replaying tonight's events over and over like a broken record until it was imprinted into his mind. Wondering how the most important person in his life was in his arms one second, and gone the next—how something could start so good, but end so bad...
-Because you're an idiot, a fuckin idiot who ruins everything!
Caroline was the one and only thing Klaus wanted to get right—he wanted to be perfect so he wouldn't ruin her, and them. He wanted to be whatever she needed and wanted—he wanted to be it for her. She was the good, the light in his tunnel of centuries worth of darkness. Instead he committed the inevitable, reduced her shine and did more damage than imaginable.
He broke the only promise he ever made.
-I won't hurt her.
A few minutes passed before Klaus garnered the courage to vamp speed to Gilbert Hall within seconds. It was a little past midnight, so mostly everyone was in their rooms sleeping by now, much to Klaus's gratitude. Last thing he needed was the entire witch faction pointing to her in his face with 'I told you so's' written on all their faces. The lump in his throat bobbed up and down as he stared at the dark wooden door of her dorm room.
What was he going to say? What could he say to make her feel better, to let him explain and for her to understand? Did she need to understand? We're they broken up?
Too many loud thoughts simultaneously pounding in his head and the only way to silence the noise was to initiate the first knock.
Caroline finally made it back to her dorm, face swollen from all the crying and throat dried. She felt there were no tears left to cry and now everything felt numb. Still trying to process what she just witnessed and how the night transpired from one of her best to worst. For the first time in 10 years Caroline felt genuinely free—happy. Not the kind of happy she's been trained to feel, stemming from praise and acknowledgements. It was happiness without anyone else's acceptance. It was monumental bliss and security of finally being with someone who made her feel extraordinary. A night of realization and hope, and how eager she was to share it with him.
She was careful opening and closing the door knowing her two roommates were likely asleep, but it only made the creaking worse.
The room was dark when she entered, except for a strip of moonlight peaking through the curtains. Both Bonnie and Katherine snuggled underneath their blankets peacefully, completely oblivious to the broken blonde just barely hanging onto her strength. A part of Caroline was grateful that Katherine wasn't awake, the last thing she needed was her shoving her dislike towards Klaus onto her right now.
And she tried, she really tried to dislike him—to hate him. She tried to, at least, pretend he meant nothing to her. It would make everything easier. It would ease the agonizing ache throbbing in her chest all the way down to the pit of her belly.
But she couldn't.
Not even enough strength to manipulate herself into thinking otherwise. All she kept seeing whenever she blinked were Aurora's hands all over a willing Klaus. With blood dribbling out his mouth and eyes bugged like a mad man.
Caroline has never been heartbroken before, but she was sure this is how it felt: Hollow, stuck, anguished and bitter.
Her back against the door as it closed—body slowly sliding down until she hit the bottom with a loud thud and began breaking down again.
The tears began spilling out like an endless waterfall that she was incapable of controlling. She didn't want to waste anymore tears on him, he didn't deserve them, but it was out of her grasp.
She sobbed, whined and cursed—no longer being cautious of anyone else besides herself. Placing her palms over eyes to wipe away the continuous waterworks that kept coming before cradling her face into her lap and holding her knees together.
She didn't notice both her roommates had awoken from her hysteric crying. Bonnie slowly sat up while Katherine was already out her bed, bending down to the level of her broken friend.
The brunette's hands rested on Caroline's cold arms to make her presence known but the witch never looked up. Shaking her head when her friend attempted to comfort her agony.
"What did he do?" Katherine asked in an almost whisper.
Despite only being Caroline's friend for a short while, Katherine knew how heavily she felt for things and people—and there was only one person that made her cry as much as made her laugh.
She didn't even have an opportunity to answer because an insistent banging on the door jolted her.
Backing away from the door, Caroline stood and gripped the doorknob to open it—hesitating when a familiar and unwelcome strained voice belted through.
"Caroline..." Klaus sighed on the other side of the door. "Caroline, I know you're in there. I can hear you breathing."
The brunette and blonde exchanged looks, communicating with just their eyes. Katherine's questioning and Caroline's panicking.
She shook her head rapidly, curling into herself on the floor.
"You know he's not going anywhere until you talk to him right?" Katherine harshly whispered.
Shaking her head again persistently.
"Love, please just open the door. I'm not leaving until you do." Klaus assured as his annoying knocking continued.
Katherine mouthed 'told ya', but the witch was insistent on her decision of not speaking with him—not now. She didn't know what to say or if she had enough strength to listen to anymore of his excuses tonight. Leaving the cautious brunette completely in the dark.
Though still unsure what was going on between the previously happy couple, Katherine decided to take matters into her own hands.
Finally nodding in confirmation, the bold vampire scrambled to her feet and turned the knob without warning. She cracked it enough for her to slide through and so he couldn't spot the devastated blonde sitting on the floor.
Being met with Klaus's fist nearly punching her in the face when the door unexpectedly opened.
Their mutual scowls deepened.
"As if you haven't done enough damage tonight you nearly ruined my face." She commented.
Klaus sighed. "Katerina, always a pleasure. Though I thought gremlins had a specific curfew."
She rewarded him with the finger. "Well I thought the same about fuckboy hours so, I guess we were both wrong about each other."
-She's Caroline's friend. She's Caroline's friend.
She's Caroline's friend.
He growled. "As much as I usually enjoy our entertaining banter, I'm not in the mood for it tonight."
Klaus's eyes widened when the other vampire blocked his path to the door.
"And I'm not in the mood to, once again, comfort my friend over whatever happened tonight. Looks like we can't all get what we want." She shrugged.
His skin was hot and pulsing.
-She's Caroline's friend. She's Caroline's friend.
She's Caroline's friend.
He had to consistently chant to himself—meeting to remain calm so he wouldn't pull her apart limb by limb.
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he spoke.
"Full offense, this has nothing to do with you. This is between me and Caroline and I need to talk to her."
He attempted to walk past her again but instead was met with her hands pushing him back with unexpected force.
In an instant, he was directly in front of her—close enough to taste her gasp. His wild eyes, now golden and bulging as they pierced into her chocolate brown ones like the sharpers today daggers. It was the first time he's ever provoked fear out of the smug brunette, under different circumstances he would rub her nose in it.
Maybe later.
"For the sake of you being her friend, I'm going to let that slide but don't expect that to save you each time." He threatened.
"You're threatening me?" She inquired.
His smirk dark. "I would tread very carefully and take it more as a promise." He confirmed.
Katherine audibly gulped, but here defense never fell. She wasn't naive enough to think Klaus was bluffing but she also wouldn't allow him to think he could stomp all over her either.
Meeting his vampire features with her own, taking a step forward which forced him to step back.
Two vampires dueling in the witches halls, nothing odd there.
"You can make empty threats all you want but I'm not letting you pass, and I'm doing this because it's what she wants."
"Kat—"
"Look, Klaus there's no secret that me and you aren't necessarily friends, but I actually think you're good for Caroline." Katherine claimed
Her admission stunning them both.
Despite their personal feuds, she genuinely did believe Klaus was a good fit for Caroline. He challenged her in a way no one else did, brought out emotions she probably forgot existed. Opened her mind to multiple perceptions instead of the one she's been groomed to know her whole life—even earned her a great friend. Not to mention, despite the night's debacle there was no one who made the stubborn witch more happy.
"Right, that's why you won't tell her I'm here." Klaus scoffed in disbelief.
"She knows you're here, you made it kinda difficult to ignore, and this might be a tough pill to swallow but the truth is...she doesn't want to see you."
His energy transitioned from hopeful to helpless within seconds. Klaus has been known to be a persistent man, never backing down from a fight, when he knew he could win. This was a battle completely out of his control with no guarantees he would come out of the bloodbath a victor.
His fangs retracted and shook his face back to its original form, as Katherine did the same.
It was actually a bit hurtful to see him so defeated, even if it was what we deserved.
Noticing his shift in behavior, Katherine groaned rolling her eyes. "Look, I'm going to be honest and say I don't know what went down between you two tonight, she hasn't told me anything. All I know is that she woke me from my sleep with hysterical cries after leaving an hour ago to find you."
Klaus chest burned at the image of Caroline's tear filled eyes looking into his on that football field before sweating she never wanted to see him again.
"I'm obviously taking her side on this, and right now she's hurt and feeling shitty with no indication of stopping. You need to give her time, and space, to just be in her emotions and think about everything."
Logically, he understood—but the last thing he was right now was logical.
"But she can't—" he choked up. "She has to know I'm here. That I'm trying..."
His eyes glossed over as if he wanted to cry.
Too many tears for Katherine to handle in one night, so she was grateful that he sucked it up instead.
She didn't know what it was that made her feel sympathy for the broken couple—closeted romantic maybe—but Katherine wanted nothing more than for them to reconcile. To be the annoying cheesy yet happy couple she always complained about.
The brunette licked her lips with a sigh, walking towards him away from the door to make it more difficult to eavesdrop.
Klaus's raised a suspicious brow.
"She knows you're here and she knows why. It's not your effort that she's questioning, but you need to accept that at the moment she doesn't care. Just give her tonight, alright? Give her tonight to sleep on it, because right now I don't think she's going to listen to anything you have to say."
He knew she was right, that everything she was saying was right—but denial was better company than truth.
Noticing his somber expression, Katherine groaned. "Okay listen and listen good because she'll totally kill me if she knew I was trying to help in anyway but, leave. Leave now and come back tomorrow morning before she starts getting ready for class." She further explained. "Fair warning, she wakes up around seven so you better get as much beauty sleep as possible to be here in time. It'll be a total ambush and she will definitely be confused and still livid but, not as much. It's a start, just a start, but I think she'll be willing to at least listen." Katherine reassured.
The vampire's eyes squinted in suspicion and head slightly tilting to the side at the unexpected advice. Just five minutes ago they were prepared to hire each other's heads off and now this...
"Hmm, and why would you want to help me?" He wondered.
"This isn't about helping you, it's for Caroline." She clarified. "For some odd and twisted reason that I'll never understand, she really likes you and I could see how happy she's been lately compared to when I first met her. I want her to have that again. Despite her refusal, she's going to want closure one way or the other. It's just who she is."
Though still on the fence from the irritable brunette's sudden kindness, Klaus sighed with a slow nod.
Even he knew getting a word in with Caroline tonight was nearly impossible. She didn't want to see him, making it abundantly clear and begging would only lessen his chances. Klaus had never been a patient man but he was beginning to learn more of it everyday.
"Fine." He huffed, threading his hand through his short curls frustratingly.
Now leaning against the wall, exhausted and beaten, Klaus stared up at the girl before him carefully.
"Thank you, Katerina. I'll probably never again say this to you so take it as you will."
"As if I need your praise." She scoffed. "Don't thank me just yet, Romeo. No guarantee my masterful plan will even be effective."
He shrugged. "Maybe so, but this is the most hopeful I've felt all night. I needed it."
"Whatever, don't make a thing of it or get any ideas because we are not friends, got it?" She pouted, her finger directly in his face.
Klaus couldn't help his small chuckle, but he was too amused.
Nodding with a smirk, he pushed her hand away. "Understood."
She took an intimidating step forward, making Klaus take a small step backwards.
"And let's make one last point perfectly clear, Mikaelson. Caroline is my friend which means I'm on her side no matter what. If you two talk and she still labels you a no-good dirtbag then as her friend, it's my decision whether or not to kill you, clear?"
His smirk grew, darkened eyes boring into hers like daggers. Honestly, Klaus wasn't that amused, more impressed by their quick friendship if anything. But he knew how much his expression would annoy her, and even in the worst circumstances he was a balls buster.
"Crystal." He said.
Katherine rolled her eyes as she began turning away. "Anyways, my role as cupid has officially expired so I'm going back to sleep, and you look a mess so I suggest doing the same if you want any chance in the morning."
"Technically love, it's already morning so I think my chances are fairly good so far." Klaus irritably pointed out.
Maintaining her cool and not ripping off his face was becoming more and more of a challenge.
"Goodnight Mikaelson." She forced a smile while turning the doorknob.
His lips twitched into a smirk. "I'm not giving up on her." Klaus blurted. "Whatever happens..."
He meant that, and she subtly smiled because she knew.
"As persistent as ever, but I got rid of him." Katherine beamed as she closed the door to a not-to-so happy room.
Caroline was curled up on her bed and staring at the wall—frozen, knees tucked in and face strained. She changed her attire into a tank top and pajama shorts isn't the mean time, fighting the tempting urge to wear the Henley he let her keep after their first night together.
-Ugh!
She felt disgusted and pathetic for already missing him—his touch, his smell and essence. It hasn't even been an hour and running after him already sounds too appealing. She hated how quickly he consumed her, and that she allowed him to take over so easily. Caroline's never given anyone so much control.
Beating herself up over being too weak to resist him in the first place was her current stage of grief. She had a boyfriend, a determined future and a simple life before giving this vampire the opportunity to ruin all of it within weeks. It was her fault for falling for him so easily and blinding herself from the red flashing warning signs that were directly in front of her.
Not even acknowledging the sense that Bonnie was staring at her like she was a bad car accident.
The only time her head moved was when she noticed Katherine storming over to Bonnie's bed, with crossed arms and a scowled face.
"Are you really just going to sit there?" Katherine blurted.
The other witch matched her expression. "Excuse me?"
"She was your best friend for 10 years. 10 long and hard ass years I'm sure, and you throw all of it away just because she started dating someone without your approval?"
"Kat, stop—" Caroline managed to choke out, but the vampire wasn't even close to finishing.
"No, no I won't stop because little witch bitch needs to get off her high horse for a while and come down to Earth with the rest of us."
"You don't know anything about me, or what I've been through." Bonnie fought back.
Katherine laughed. "And there's that infamous witch ego I know and loathe. You think I care? You think we all haven't been through shit? I have a few more centuries on you so you don't need to preach to me about trauma, okay. This isn't about you Bennett! That's literally your problem, you think everything is about you and lash out when it's not."
Bonnie's mouth opened and closed. Sneaking glances at Caroline who was sitting silently but very much present in the heated conversation.
"You're lucky, you know." Katherine continued. "It's a privilege to have long friendships—take it from someone who has lived twice as long and lost everyone In the process."
Caroline's eyebrow lifted at the brief insight into the past Katherine's never told her about and she's been too cautious to ask.
"They are rare and fragile, and you completely took advantage of yours'—avoiding her, avoiding this room. Forcing yourself not to witness how happy she's been because then you might have to admit that you were wrong about vampires and that you're growing up. That maybe she's outgrown the small town life you have cemented each other too all your lives."
Bonnie exchanged looks with her former friend, for confirmation that Katherine wasn't talking out of her ass. The blank eyes and zipped mouth proved her right.
"I've only known her for what, two weeks? Compared to your ten years, and I'm by her side when I know she needs someone the most. Have you even once asked how she's feeling tonight, or is it too satisfying seeing she got what she deserved?"
"Katherine stop! Seriously." Caroline sobbed.
The brunette examined the Bennett witch up and down, scoffing. "Fine, I need to go downstairs and heat up a cup of blood anyways."
After being reassured that Caroline was fine, Katherine let the door slam behind her—leaving the two witches alone.
-Yup, totally not awkward at all.
Caroline shifted under her sheets in attempt to not feel worse than she already was, and definitely wasn't in the mood for anymore confrontations.
Not tonight.
She nearly threw her blanket over her face to sleep until Bonnie called her name. It was faint and hesitant but there was no denying what was said.
Sitting up on her side, Caroline looked over at the nervous witch who was picking at the skin of her fingers and a nervous lip bite.
Bonnie cleared her throat. "Um, I mean do you want to talk about it?"
This was it, this was everything Caroline hoped for and desired. Having her best friend back, talking to her about anything and making an effort. She's wanted this for months, to share her new found happiness with the most important people in her life and the number one person seemed to have been coming around...
But Caroline felt zero satisfaction. No relief or contentment...just anger.
Immense and fiery anger.
Everything was beginning to pile on top of each other again, and Caroline's patience had already snapped.
She snorted, now sitting up completely in her spot. "Oh, now you want to talk to me?"
Bonnie sighed. "Care—"
"When I'm at the lowest I've ever been, when my heart's been broken into a million pieces so small that putting it back together is nearly impossible. When I've been hurt and humiliated by the guy you swore would do just that. After weeks of reaching out, trying to get you to just say one word to me, now suddenly I'm deemed acceptable for your attention, Bonnie? Well guess what? Now I don't want to talk to you." She hissed as warm tears streamed down her hot cheeks.
She didn't even realize she started crying again.
Sensing Bonnie wasn't finished trying to make her point, Caroline pulled the covers over her body as she relaxed against the mattress. Squeezing her eyes together and silently pleading for sleep to quickly take over.
At least one thing went right for her that night—she managed to finally fall asleep.
Mentally and emotionally, Caroline was exhausted and the minutes her eyes closed she was able to forget it all happened—for a while. She was at peace, in a dream land that only consisted of her and the dark blonde figure facing away while holding her hand. He wouldn't let go, refused even, and it made her realize how much she didn't want him to either. Bringing a smile to her face as he led her towards the luminescent light where their happiness was as eternal as he was...
Her eyes opened and so badly—desperately—she wished it was all just a terrible nightmare. But when the dark blonde figure revealed his face, decorated with deep dimples, doe gold eyes and a raspberry colored smirk with bloodied fangs...she knew it wasn't.
Bathed in her own sweat as she blinked away the sleep from her heavy eyes, turning her head to the side to face the beaming bright numbers on the alarm.
The clock read 6:15. Though consuming at least five hours of sleeps, Caroline felt she only had an hour.
Her blaring alarm is what woke her, disturbing her sanctuary and dragging her back into her hell—forcing her to face the issues.
Slamming the off button with her fist, the blonde twisted in her sheets until she was lying on her back staring up at the ceiling blankly. Watching the fan circle around and around until her vision became fuzzy. Arms spread out and breathe shallow, not in the mood for classes or any of her responsibilities.
She just wanted to wallow. As pathetic as that sounded, it's what she wanted—needed.
Suddenly all her favorite romcoms were making sense.
Not prepared to endure everyone laughing in her face for thinking she could make a witch and vampire relationship work. Or her coven, even worse Tyler, never letting her hear the end of her not being able to keep him for barely. A month.
Cowering away for another day was too tempting.
Both her roommates were still dead asleep, and she found herself envying their prolonged dream worlds.
She was also incredibly dehydrated after the endless crying from the night before—groaning when the glass of water that usually sat on her nightstand was dry as a bone.
-You are not a coward. Caroline Forbes is not weak.
Already trying to see the bright side of the situation. Maybe this was for the best, in the end. It was a long shot they were ever going to last, considering all the odds stacked against them even outside of just the school. Her own guilt began to lessen, though she was feeling a bit like a pot meets kettle scenario brewing.
-No, this is different...
Letting out a loud puff of air, she reluctantly lifted herself off the bed and snatched the empty glass to go downstairs and refill before beg her day.
Opening the door, her tired eyes widened and heart rate increased to unhealthy heights. She was surprised she didn't shatter her glass on the floor at the sight of Klaus sitting on the floor outside her room. His head leaning back against the door across from her's, eyes closed with one leg out and the other tucked in. Still dressed in the same clothes from last night, blood stained shirt and his black jeans; at least his face was clean of any residue.
-Did he stay here all night?
She wondered.
Katherine swore she had gotten rid of him. Her initial panic was if anyone saw him, especially given it was after hours and this wasn't his residence hall.
Caroline didn't want to wake him, tiptoeing past him seemed ideal but he would likely hear. She didn't know what to do besides just to stare at his sleeping form. The way his long blonde eyelashes fanned over the flawless pale skin. Hating how adorable he always looked in his sleep, completely innocent and incapable of breaking her heart.
"You're awake."
Klaus's soft mutter startled Caroline enough for her to jump in place.
His eyes barely apparent but when they were, fully, Caroline found herself wanting to burst into tears all over again.
The pain in her chest making a comeback as his ocean eyes found hers like a trance. Every time she felt she had no more to give, he would force them out somehow. And despite everything that's transpired, she still cared about him—wanted and missed him too.
-Stop it.
Fighting with the glass in one hand and pulling her hair to one side with the other, Caroline finally found her voice.
"Klaus, what the hell are you doing? Did you sleep here?"
He stretched out his arms with a faint yawn. "Considering that sleeping at night is usually an afterthought for me, I must say I'm awed by my abrupt slumber."
-Ugh.
"You could've gotten in so much trouble. I could've gotten in trouble!" She exclaimed, looking up and down the hall cautiously to see if anyone was awake yet.
He lazily smirked while observing her frazzled state. "Always so worried about the rules, no matter the circumstances. Despite it being an initial annoyance, it's actually something I've found very charming about you."
Caroline's eyes narrowed at his attempt of making her blush.
He needed to stop.
They're not on good terms, and certainly not on any level for him to be teasing her—no matter how much she missed it, and Caroline was only so strong.
Noticing Klaus's wandering eyes, she crossed her arms to cover herself, forgetting she was just in a tank top, without a bra, and shorts. Klaus's smirk fell and jaw clenched—offended that she has retorted back to hiding herself from him.
But he did that—he made her feel unsafe around him.
Contrary to her belief, he wasn't wandering her form and more searching for her eyes. She was avoiding his like a job. All he wanted was to spot the twinkle that usually lingered in the pupil.
Nothing.
That twinkle replaced by a burnt out flame. A blown candle with no chance of revival.
Just...dead.
His tongue traced his bottom lip hesitantly.
"Caroline—"
"Why are you here?" Cutting him off.
Her tone flat, like she was exhausted with no more fight to give. He would've preferred her yelling at him again instead of the emotionless state was in now.
Klaus swallowed. "Why do you think?"
The trembling of her lips as their eyes met like a punch in the gut knowing he was the reason behind her distress.
"I can't do this..." Shaking her head while quickly pushing past him.
"Caroline stop." Klaus begged, now on his feet. "Please. I know you're set on hating me forever but you have to let me explain."
She laughed, turning to face him. "Hate you? Do you have any idea how badly I wish I could hate you? Actually, hate requires care, and I'd give anything to not care about you right now!"
At least she was yelling again, if only that was as comforting as he hoped.
Never has he felt more nauseous than hearing the hurtful words spewing from her mouth, though finding them oddly relatable.
Oh, how he too wished he didn't care. How he wishes she never made him care about her, for him to break her heart like he's done to so many women before she even existed without a single care.
How much he wished he wasn't terrified of losing her.
Klaus's eyes closed briefly and fingernails bit into his palms. "Please, please don't say that." He softly pleaded.
"Why, because it's hard to hear someone who's supposed to care about you hurt you so easily?" She choked out, her voice was hoarse, obviously trying to suppress her emotions.
This wasn't normal, what she was feeling. Caroline was never one to bottle everything inside until it reached its boiling point and erupted like a volcano. But she was scared to express anything to him right now, or would make everything more real than it already was.
"You're shaking." Klaus observed.
He cautiously approached but not without Caroline taking a step back.
Klaus deeply sighed, realizing this wasn't going to be any easier than he already anticipated.
"I know you have very little desire to see me or talk to me but the fact that you are standing here giving me the time of day instead of boiling me into a crisp, is why I'm not going anywhere."
Caroline's eyes slightly softened.
"It's true, that I've been keeping a lot of myself from you. It was my strategy going into this relationship but never out of malicious intentions. Simply because there are parts about who I am, or who I was, that I wish to suppress, and it's easy to do...when I'm with you."
Another punch in the heart.
Caroline didn't move as he walked towards her again. Her arms remained crossed as he kept a safe distance between them. Klaus didn't want to make her more uncomfortable but being so far away while being the most vulnerable he's been was just as bad. He was relieved she at least appeared intrigued now and less guarded.
"I know you think you don't want an explanation Caroline but you do, I know you do because I know you. Before you make any final decisions about me, or us, just hear me out."
"10 minutes, that's all I'm asking." He added when Caroline still seemed unconvinced.
He was right, he did know her better than anyone and closure was something she needed no matter what resulted from it. And despite her anger, letting him go was easier said than done and it hasn't even been 24 hours. A break up with an average boy didn't equate to breaking up with Klaus. If she was going to make any permanent decisions about their relationship, Caroline needed to know all the facts first.
She anxiously nibbled on her bottom lip, barely being able to keep direct eye contact with him for too long as he awaited her response.
"Fine. 10 minutes, and that's it." Caroline decided.
Klaus's face lit up as a grin appeared.
"We can meet during my free period, in the courtyard."
His grinned widened. "Alright—"
"10 minutes. That's it. I meant it, Klaus." She sternly added.
"I said 'alright', didn't I?" He lightly chuckled.
Caroline's frown never wavered, discouraging the vampire's brief moment of familiar teasing.
He nodded, still grinning ear to ear. "Thank you, Caroline."
The sincerity in his tone and expression made her want to break apart.
"Yeah, umm whatever." She shrugged. "Look, you should get going before everyone starts waking up and sees you here."
-Oh, right.
Klaus forgot he was on the wrong side of campus. Affirming their meeting plans with a soft smile before politely escorting himself past her to exit the building.
Was he nervous? Of course he was, how could he not be? But this wasn't the time to allow nerves to get the better of him. Caroline agreeing to even be in the same room as him was a long shot last night, but now she's willing to give him a chance. He couldn't take any of those for granted.
Step one: complete.
Now back on his side of the campus, Klaus was in desperate need of a shower, sleep and blood. He usually spent his mornings catching up on all three before working on his art projects or other assignments. He never appreciated the company of fellow vampires more than now. After spending the night with the stench of bubblegum witches and refraining from eating each one that walked by and with dirty looks on their faces, he appreciated the normalcy.
He sighed, heading straight for the bathroom that were thankfully empty. So desperate to cleanse himself of the events from last night he didn't even take the time to go to his room first. Switching the water on until it was boiling hot. Stripping off his blood soaked shirt, jeans and boots in a frenzy, then removing his boxers before stepping into the shower. Klaus's mind began racing as the water violently hit his back.
Today was shaping up to be rough and long.
Yes, Caroline's willingness to give at least talk to him was a start but will It even matter? What if she's already made up her mind and is just entertaining herself? What if she doesn't believe him, or think his reasoning isn't sufficient enough? What if she realizes she can do better than damaged goods and wants nothing to do with him at all anymore?
He tilted his head back, welcoming the scorching heat of the hot water trickling down his face and through his hair and down his toned backside. Steam filled the room that was thankfully only occupied by him.
The pain from the heat felt good, comforting—it helped him relax and focus. He needed to block out the noise for at least ten minutes if possible.
After finishing, Klaus turned the water off and wrapped himself with the towel hanging off the rack. Shaking out his wet curls and grabbing his pile of clothes off the floor as he walked out. His necklaces slapped against his sculpted chest with each step he took towards his room. Both his roommates were still out, which gave Klaus more time to be alone with his thoughts.
Sleep and hunger suddenly no longer a priority for him as he began dressing. His nerves over meeting with Caroline was at the forefront of his mind. He couldn't help but immediately think of the worse case scenarios that could come from this, and beating himself up for being so weak and selfish. Even if Caroline didn't catch him in the act, he would've still felt just as guilty knowing he should've told her.
His burgundy Henley the last piece of clothing to throw over himself—triggered when he remembered Caroline still possessed his other one. Recalling how his clothes fit her so beautifully that night. The pride he took seeing her dressed in them as she slept in his arms, and letting her keep it when she insisted on giving it back; before they even knew what would become of that fateful night.
Klaus tugged on his wet hair, frustrated and angry with no outlet in mind that didn't include murder. Last thing he needed was to give Caroline another reason to hate him.
His head popped up at the sound of the doorknob jiggling, with Enzo opening the door and Marcel walking in after.
-Perfect.
All Klaus saw was red when the two entered the room— yapping on about something irrelevant, per usual. They didn't even realize Klaus not responding to their greeting, or him charging towards Marcel with his fist colliding with his jaw.
"The bloody hell is your problem!" Enzo blurted.
Klaus didn't hear anything, didn't care as he climbed on top of his friend and whaled on him.
Punch after punch to the face and uppercut to the chin, until blood began squeezing through the wounds. Marcel was unable to get a lick in, for Klaus's actions were relentless and too quick to dodge.
Enzo managed to yank Klaus off their severely bleeding and bruised friend.
"What the hell, Mikaelson?!" Marcel managed to say, spitting out blood filling his mouth.
"That's what I'd like to know, mate. You shouldn't have brought Caroline there last night." Pointing his finger.
The mutually infuriated vampire scoffed. "Are you for real? You're blaming Caroline dumping your sorry ass on me? Someone forgot to take their dose of self awareness this morning."
Klaus shoved Enzo in the chest to free himself before approaching a now standing Marcel
"She shouldn't have been there in the first place. You had no right to intervene—"
"Intervene?!" Marcel's eyebrows lifting in awe. "Wow...just when I didn't think you could be more out of touch."
The two now practically nose to nose, huffing and puffing from their chests with neither showing any indication of backing down.
"Watch it." Klaus warned.
"Why? You gonna hit me again?" He provoked.
Klaus's laugh dark and ominous. "Oh, don't tempt me."
"I get it, alright. You're pissed I didn't lie to your girlfriend about what you were doing behind her back." Marcel said. "You're frustrated that she's discovering things about you on her terms instead of yours. But more importantly," stepping closer, "you're mad that I was able to be honest with her when you couldn't."
Klaus's chest tightened at the blatant truth, the tension his face dissolving as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
Deep down he knew his anger towards Marcel was unjustified, that no one forced him to stay involved with Aurora and be dishonest with Caroline. He knew there was no one to blame in this scenario but himself—it just felt better to shift it onto someone else.
The rest of his body relaxed as he stepped backwards, plopping on his bed with a blank expression on his face as all the prices slowly began sinking in.
"I really fucked up, didn't I?" Klaus mumbled, looking down at his feet.
"Yeah, you did." Marcel answered, wiping the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand.
All three vampires wore subtle grins but Klaus's was the first to return to a deep frown.
"She agreed to talk to me, you know?" Klaus informed. "To hear my side of the but I'm starting to think that maybe that's just a waste of time. That she's already made up her mind about me and I'm just fooling myself."
Marcel and Enzo's eyes simultaneously rolled.
"Bro, you really are stupid."
Klaus's eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at his two friends.
"I'm going to pretend that was directed at Enzo."
"Oh piss off."
Marcel laughed. "Nah, I'm definitely talking about you my troubled friend. I really don't get you sometimes, Klaus. You're probably the most arrogant guy I've ever met, yet when it comes to this girl you're constantly running scared, and are completely clueless with how she feels about you."
Klaus waited for the elaboration as Marcel sat beside him.
"I'll admit I was pretty skeptical about you and Caroline at first, even if I didn't show it. I wanted to be a supportive friend even if I thought you were making a horrible decision. I'm prejudiced like everyone else, and felt a witch wouldn't just bring you down but take all of us down with you. I thought she wouldn't be a good fit but she's certainly proved me wrong." He smiled. "Did I miss the part about how crazy she is about you, and vice versa?"
Klaus wasn't terribly shocked to find out his friends weren't initial supporters of his relationship with Caroline. Their quick acceptance of her was always odd, but he was so happy he never cared to question them about it.
He shook his head. "Even if that's so...you didn't see how she was looking at me last night."
"I can imagine, and I get things look bleak right now but she deserves to be pissed at you. You have a lot of groveling to do my friend, but all hope is not lost. The bigger picture here is that she's willing to even give you the time of day. That means there is light at the end of the tunnel after all." Marcel encouraged with a slap to the back.
If only believing was as easy as hearing it.
Succumbed to the belief that he ruined any good in his life, Klaus was finding it difficult to trust in everyone's optimism.
First Katherine, now Marcel. The first trick worked, maybe this one will too.
He nodded, standing up with a deep exhale. "Yeah well, thanks for the pep talk but I should go. Have a lot to do in so little time and I'm already behind schedule. I'll see you around."
Addressing them both before grabbing his bag and sketchbook off his bed and heading towards the door.
"No problem. Oh, Mikaelson?" Marcel called. "I hope you enjoyed that lucky shot, 'cause you're never getting another one."
Klaus threw his head back in laughter before finally making his exit.
Knees bouncing, jaw clenching and cigarette burning as Klaus impatiently waited for Caroline in the courtyard. He was 15 minutes earlier than they agreed upon but he was too anxious to wait any longer; skipping his survival tactics class seemed more ideal than daydreaming over this afternoon.
The day felt like it was dragging.
Classes seemed to go on for hours, lunch was torturous and avoiding Aurora was easier said than done. He was dodging her presence and texts all day, not willing to risk losing more credibility with Caroline than he already has. Not to mention having to avoid the countless amount of people wondering why the controversial pairing weren't sitting together. He felt the whole school watching his every move, waiting for this relationship to fall through the cracks like they all predicted. It made the break up even more stressful.
-Break up...
His head shot up when the bell finally rang. Multiple students already barging through the doors in a frenzy, laughing, conversing amongst one another and completely unaware of the conversation that was going to occur in a minute.
The more students passed by, the emptier the halls became and the more Klaus began to panic. He felt pathetic looking around like a lost dog but the conclusion slowly settled in.
Caroline wasn't coming.
He's never known a more punctual person and she was already five minutes 'late'. A part of him was relieved, but a bigger part was crushed. Klaus had never put himself on the line like this, made himself vulnerable and not having the upper hand. The ball was in Caroline's court, she was in the driver seat venturing away from him. Despite how quickly and deeply they felt for each other, maybe this was for the best.
-Maybe she always deserved better.
Klaus thought, cursing to himself as he flicked the used cigarette and rubbed it into the ground with his foot. He swore off the addicting sticks for as long as he could but it was his only stress reducer that didn't involve hurting anyone.
He was trying to be a better man—he wanted to be better for her.
He was thinking of just leaving but immediately stopped in his tracks as a frantic Caroline ran towards him.
She appeared out of breath, exhausted. Her bag hanging off her shoulder and textbooks nearly falling out her hands—a mess but no less beautiful Wiping her sweaty palms over her strappy blue summer dress while approaching him.
"For the record, I'm not late. I was just briefly held up because sophomore witches remain a pain in my ass." Caroline claimed, plopping her belongings on the bench. "Like they don't know how to do a simple binding spell without flying themselves together, and guess who has to pick up the slack every time? Me."
Klaus tried to keep his smile at bay as her rant continued to spew. She was venting to him like nothing changed—like they weren't broken up and that they weren't preparing to discuss the future of their relationship. He didn't want to interrupt—it felt too good having Caroline being, well, Caroline with him again; if only briefly.
"Hmm, and they said being in charge would be fun." Klaus added.
She scoffed. "Suddenly leadership is overrated. I'll make sure to implement that in my valedictorian speech."
As if Klaus's laugh triggered something within her, her small laugh ceased. Her walls were built back up and face hardened, now fidgeting and awkwardly clearing her throat.
The moment came and went like a bucket of ice water.
"Um, so, you wanted to talk?" She stuttered.
Nervously licking his lips, Klaus gestured for her to take a seat beside him on the bench—mentally rolling his eyes over her sitting across from him instead.
"Thank you again, for deciding to meet with me."
"I didn't do it for you." Caroline spat.
A smirk teased the corners of his lips, but he refrained. "I know."
No longer beating around the bush, Caroline deeply sighed as she mentally prepared herself.
"Just tell me, one thing...did you sleep with her—"
"No." He answered before she even finished. "No, Caroline I would never. I already told you nothing like that happened."
"Yeah, you've told me a lot of things so sorry if I'm still a bit skeptical." She glared.
His eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. "Caroline, you can think whatever you want about me but I won't allow you to believe I would ever cheat on you."
"You running to your ex about your problems instead of talking them out with your girlfriend is just as hurtful. Confiding in her, trusting her more than me...what am I supposed to think?!"
The fury was slowly rebuilding—more than the night before. Face red and hot tears threatening to fall with every word.
This wasn't going to be easy.
Klaus sighed. "Not that, she doesn't..." He sighed again. "I make no excuse for my actions, I can only take responsibility and apologize. Even if you don't believe or accept it."
Caroline mumbled under her breath—subtly wiping her nose.
"Me and Aurora, it's—"
"Let me guess, complicated." She finished the sentence for him. "Yeah, I got that. I also get that you care about her and maybe even like her and that's why you can't detach. But why drag me along in your twisted game?"
He shook his head. "No...I mean yes, I care for her but not in the way you think and certainly not more than I do for you."
She was becoming less and less impressed with the conversation. Klaus knew what she needed to hear, knew the truth he needed to say but his fear was begging the best of him. So tempted to let this be, to let Caroline go instead of doing the hard work of winning her back.
Klaus sat back against the wooden headboard of the bench, looked down at his interlocked fingers and full lips pressed together in a tight line.
"I experienced a rather dark life, one that I've been trying everyday for the last five centuries to move on from." He began. "But those scars stay with you, even after they've healed you can still feel them like they're fresh. Carrying around that daily reminder was difficult and painful. Some days are worse than others. The nightmares grew scarier, the days grew darker and the pain never faltered. I did horrible things, committed gruesome acts to relieve my suffering—even if only temporarily."
The witch's audible gulp caught his attention. He didn't say anything as their eyes met in a soft gaze, though he could see the fear behind her interest. Hands clutching onto her elbows as they crossed her stomach.
She was scared.
Klaus resumed. "I've murdered a lot of people...many people, it's actually one of the reasons I agreed to this school. Mostly out of boredom but also to see if this was all I could be, a murderous demon in desperate need of a therapist." He laughed. "Wondering if I could be more...but no matter the environment, those urges don't stop, the darkness never ends and the trauma doesn't dissipate. The more I tried to hide, the worse it all became, the more fellow students I killed, and then I met Aurora."
Caroline bit her tongue, suddenly regretting this entire arrangement. The last thing she wanted to hear was her boyfriend going down memory lane about his ex fling was his savior.
"She was a mutual friend from Enzo, and he was my roommate even back then. We started chatting and realized we had quite a bit in common: both stemmed from annoyingly prestigious families, moved to the states from London and an unhealthy love for modern television." He grinned to himself. "But our common ground was our trauma, our scars of survival." Klaus explained. "I never told her details about what happened to me and she never asked again after the first time. We were both damaged goods and that was all that mattered in the end; we became friends."
The nostalgia in his tone was nauseating, Caroline wanted his honesty but didn't know who to feel about it anymore.
"My connection with Aurora never had anything to do with sex, or me wanting her, but more that I needed someone who comforted my demons instead of confronting them. Someone who wouldn't judge me during my times of weakness, someone who I wouldn't be afraid to lose."
"I knew from the start she had feelings for me, and as the awful person I am I used that to my advantage. Though I made it abundantly clear to her my intentions, over time the lines became blurred. Our first time, um, together happened and it made our arrangement complicated but I needed it...needed her, I suppose." He shamefully admitted.
-Yeah, I really don't want to hear anymore.
Caroline rubbed her lips together, refraining from interrupting.
"Up until a month ago I didn't care, I didn't care about anyone but myself. I wasn't always this selfless guy you've grown to know, Caroline. As you can see I have a sinful past, I've done things, things you can't even spell, things I never wanted you to know because I knew you would look at me like that."
Caroline swallowed. "Like what?"
"Like you're afraid of me." He repelled
Her face really did say it all.
She hated to admit it but deep down, she was terrified.
Hearing your boyfriend explain how he's been a shameless murderer for basically his whole life and used another girl like a whore wasn't exactly the highlight of her day. Just when Caroline thought his ability to control others actions was his scariest trait.
She said she wanted to know—to know more about this man she was falling so hard for, but now realizing the whole time he's been a complete stranger.
"Please, say something." He pleaded.
Caroline bit down on her trembling bottom lip. "I-I just don't know what to say..."
Klaus understandably nodded. "I can only imagine what you must think of me now, but Caroline you have to know you're wrong in saying I trust her. She only knows what I allow her to know. The truth is I don't really trust anybody." He confesses. "Never have, and I was content with going the rest of eternity with that mindset—until I met you."
As if her heart wasn't being pierced enough. She shuddered when his hand hesitantly reached for hers.
She didn't pull away but she didn't grasp it either, not knowing how to feel about any of what's been shared. Wondering how she should feel, of being with him meant ignoring and condone all he's done. Her heart ached and tears trickled looking into his eyes as his confessions continued to spill.
"This isn't some line or a way to appease you. Caroline, there's no one I've wanted to trust more, to share all of me with and for someone who's been reserved his entire life, that was terrifying to admit. Everything about you, us, seemed too good to be true. I still don't feel I'm capable of being the man you deserve but I've been trying, I've been trying so hard to be it for you Caroline." He strained. "To show you I'm worth it, that we're worth it but like most rare good that happens in my life, I make it my mission to ruin it."
Looking down at their joined hands, caressing her skin with the pad of his thumb. "My family is the creator of my fucked up reality, it's why I don't like to talk about them. With my mother's unexpected appearance it just made everything come to a head, and I know that's no excuse, I know, I handled it poorly. But this is the truth. I promise."
She shook her head, her lips still pressed together tightly. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"To avoid this exact conversation." He answered. "Telling you about my life, what I've done before we became a couple, exposing you to the monster you've perceived me as since we met would unleash parts of myself I left and buried in my past—parts I never wanted you to know. I just...I didn't want to lose you."
Her head tilted to the side, curiously.
She wasn't sure if this was appropriate but her sadness was slowly shifting to anger. How he could think she was still the same shallow girl he thought he once knew.
"Why do you give me so little credit? Did I ever give you a reason to think I wouldn't want you if I knew you were a person before we met?" She asked harshly. "I didn't fall into this thinking you were a saint, Klaus. I never wanted Prince Charming I just wanted you. Why are you so convinced that isn't enough?"
Klaus shrugged. "Because the cocky Klaus Mikaelson isn't as fearless as he appears to be. He has a weakness after all..."
The silence of the empty courtyard held over them for a few minutes, giving them time to absorb all that's transpired.
Minds rattled and emotions shot. Caroline could feel the exhaustion begging to take over—emotionally drained from how much she cared for this troubled self-loathing man and there was no way out. How quickly he cemented himself into her heart while screwing with her head.
She wanted the truth, she understood the truth as much as one could, but was it enough?
Despite all the second guessing, she believed him and knew he was sincere. Not sure how twisted it was that him confessing to killing innocents was easier to digest than his history with Aurora. No amount of fogging tears could blur out the image of them together in her head —unfortunately it would always be there hovering in the back of Caroline's mind.
Would she be pathetic for going back to him so soon? She missed him, and the warmth he was proving through their hands touching was more comforting than she'd like to admit.
Reluctantly, Caroline slid her hand out of his.
Looking up at the sky and exhaling as if she was holding her breath for 10 minutes, and running her hands through her curly locks before slopping them down onto her lap.
Finding the strength to finally look at him, and being met with his hopeless eyes was overwhelming. Their foreheads so close she could see the film covering his eyes—holding back the tears that refused to fall. They just sat there and stared for what felt like centuries, like it was the last time they were ever going to see each other.
-That's exactly how this feels.
"Klaus..." Caroline sighed.
"I know." He nodded. "I know..."
Her first instinct to reach out for him, to hug him until all the bad went away. So desperately she just wanted to escape into the safeness of his arms and stay there until they forgot last night even happened.
But it did, and she couldn't.
Caroline's bottom lip began to tremble again but she maintained her composure until she was finished.
Breaking the eye contact, gazing off briefly before returning his attention.
"I'm not saying I don't believe you, and I know you're sorry...this is just a lot to take in at once." She explained. "I even understand why you felt you had to keep yourself from me but...I feel like I don't even know you anymore."
The lump in his throat dropping. That agonizing organ in Klaus's chest tightening and pulsing like it was seconds from jumping out.
She sniffled. "I—I just need some time, and space to figure some things out for myself before I can figure them out with you."
Klaus nodded, biting his bottom lip and folding his fingers together.
"I understand." His smile bittersweet and heart wrenching.
If only he knew how much this was killing her too.
She was grateful he wasn't fighting her on this, or being his usual persistent self. It would've made the decision to prolong their break up harder than it already was, and Klaus didn't want to make matters worse anyways.
For Klaus, this was an inevitable transition in their relationship—one that would either break them apart for good or make them stronger.
At this point, he wasn't sure which side was more optimistic.
Standing up from the bench, he swung his bag over his back and turned back to her with another smile.
This one was softer, more reassuring even with the underlying sadness in the crest.
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." He quoted with a light smirk, earning a hesitant smile from the witch staring up at him.
-Damn him.
She cursed as he walked off without another glance—just in time before her strength collapsed and tears filled the hand covering her face.
THE ANGST WON'T LAST. I REPEAT, THE ANGST WONT LAST.
I'll admit I'm not as proud of this chapter as the rest but I hope you all still managed to enjoy it, even through the tears. Our beautiful and perfect couple being broken up just when they were at their happiest hurts me just as much as it hurts you all. What could possibly happen with a freshly single Caroline "figuring things out"? Maybe a not-so-subtly jealous Klaus making an appearance to remind her of what they had, and could be? *shrugs*
Who knows...
It feels good to be back, I miss you all!
Till next time, along with some pretty exciting news!
REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED.
P.S. that last quote from Klaus was him quoting A.A. Milne. My heart hasn't been the same since.
