There was silence between us for a while. My hands left frozen in the air and still holding the picture. My mouth tight shut as my eyes never left him. I could see that he was sweating very hard as his eyes were half-open but still didn't hide the anger in his face.
"What are you doing?" He repeats the question again and slowly moving closer.
He's about to take one step toward me but stop when his eyes tightly shut, holding the pain. I already stand up and quickly move beside him. I hold his shoulder and already half-hug him. I ask "You okay?"
He just nods and he groans in pain again. I could see that he was trying hard to keep standing.
"You should get some rest but maybe change your clothes first or you will get your mattress stain."
He groans again and softly said, "It's okay, I don't mind it, I-I *groan* need some... rest." I nodded as I help him go toward his bed, I almost fell when I try to slowly lay him down toward his bed. I let go of his hand and slid his arm beside him. I move and lift his leg to help him more before taking the blanket that folded tidily and covers half of him. I smile in satisfaction before move away from him.
"Don't go." He whispers and grabs a hold of my wrist that stops me.
"Don't worry, I still have cleaning to do." I look at the scattered picture that still lay a pile on the floor. He gets the message and slowly let go, I move slowly and take the box to put it beside me before slowly taking a hand-grab of the picture and tidy it up before putting it back inside the box. I just do and repeat.
"You don't have to tidy it very neatly," I doubt myself for a second when I heard his voice is a little bit sad or maybe more like a miserable person, "I was going to burn it soon," he explained it.
'Oh...' "Why?" My voice comes out loud than I thought it would be. I mean I really want to know why is he deciding it now? and Burn it? I really should be glad that he was burning my picture but somehow I want to know the reason. I mean I was happy that he do that. No- I think I appreciated it-
'I'm babbling too much.'
He didn't answer, even though my back was at him, I could feel that he still awake. I was curious about what he thought about me right now. 'Does he still love me?', I shouldn't but my curiosity sometimes always gets the better of me as I open my mouth again to ask him "I could see that you care a lot for her from every picture." Some people that had stumble upon this box that full of pictures of 'Jinx' -which is me- will probably think that she is very important to Wally West.
Every picture was taken very nicely that I even amazed at some that really shows the feature that Jinx has or I have. I always think bad about my weird skin color and my eyes that like a cat, not to mention that is was pink. But when I look at this picture I felt like I was a supermodel that was being photographed by a professional photographer. The outside of the box indeed has some dust in them but the inside is very clean, assuming that it was kept neatly. That did arise another question in my head: 'Does that mean that he always takes care of this?'
I snap back to reality when he said: "She is not worthy."
'Means?' "Then you still see her as a Villain-"
He cut me off quickly and pressed the word Ex very deeply "EX-Villain."
my hands stop in mid-air and I turn my head a little to look at him, He is looking bored at the ceiling but I know there is something more than that. I could see the pain shows in his eyes, how deep it was. I began to continue back at tidying up the pictures 'Seriously! How many does he take!?' I take another hand grip picture. This seems endless when I still saw the many piles. I decide to stop the topic, mainly because it's a little weird when I talk about myself with Him and I already have enough proof that he doesn't know about me is Jinx.
"She played with me," I stop my movement again as I heard his voice crack "I love her so damn much! What am I suppose to do? I gave her rose like every girl's dream, I take her to Paris, no, I take her to any place she desires. I endanger myself to help her. I would even betray my friend just to be with her. I give everything I have to her yet she never fully gave herself to me!" Even I didn't need to see his face to know that he is so desperate.
I put down the latest stack of the picture that I have tidy it up inside the box. I turn around slowly and felt like my heart sunk into my stomach when I saw him crying, "Do you hate her?"
"I want to! You don't know how she had put me through. Robin says that she is just playing me. I want to despise her so much that the only memory is just full of hatred but..." His hands move to hide his eyes but I still could see the tears that are falling.
I was on edge of breaking too. Seeing him broken because of me. I began to doubt myself and doubt the choice that I make. I want to run and hug him. I want to apologize. I want to kiss his perfect lips and the play with his spiky red hair that is soft. I want to hold his hand. Sleep next to him and feeling that his hand on my waist. Snuggle close to him. I want-
I stop myself 'You choose this and you can't go back. You should stay away from Wally from now on. You should remember how the pain you cause him.' "You can't hate her because she means more than anything. You can't despise her because you believe that deep down she does it for a reason. Am I right?" I stand up, I lower my head to hide my expression from him.
"..." He didn't say a word.
"Then you're such a fool." I glad that my voice comes out harsher other than weak like I was feeling right now. He didn't move or say anything but I was sure he flinches a little. I continue "Are you running away from the truth? You should just accept it already. I know sometimes the truth is hurt but slowly it will go away and you won't think about it that much but if you still lying to yourself and make up some stupid bullshit story then there is no way you could feel free. You will be stuck on your made-up cage and never feel free. This is your life, find you happiness."
I heard he says "What if my happiness is with her?"
"Your choice. Give up on her and feel free or just stuck in the cage forever with a bullshit hope." I say and turn around to close the box with the box-lid and put it at the top of his wardrobe where It was placed before, but the wardrobe is taller than me so I have to use a chair.
There is silence for a whole 3 minutes inside this room before I had enough and say "Do you need something else? Want me to call a doctor?"
"Did you do surgery on me?"
I raise my eyebrows "I just stitch your cut together to stop the bleeding but I think you should go and see the doctor." I answer him.
"Hmmm."
"So do you need anything?"
"Just some sleep." He smiles and closes his eyes.
I didn't smile, "You should do that, Then get well."
I open the door and walk outside of his room and about to close it again when I heard him softly whisper "See you tomorrow." The sound of the door close shud and I only stand there, didn't move.
'What just happen!? What did I just freaking do!' I look around his messy but empty room. I could see his picture, his family and a picture of some people. I also notice the frame that hung on the wall but still, that makes my heart and brain hurt more as I try to think of the solution. I enter his place and saving him with a plus of knowing that he is Kid Flash which is very very dangerous. NOT only that I was in danger that is if someone finds out about it, but I have a high guess that some titans or maybe him will start to monitor me all the time.
I was just hoping they didn't try to put me on some machine just to makes me forget about what happens. If they do it, there is a high chance that they will realize who I am.
If I run away then they will know something suspicious about me so my only is just to stay like you are just some civilian that just enter a life of hell and your life will get more complicated. I know I was a little too exaggerated... well, maybe too much but what should I do?
I just get myself into some bigger mess and there is no way out other than just act normal. My God... I think I need help.
I look at the medkit that still lay on the floor, I could see that is was knock over. Maybe when he tries to stand up. I walk and take it. My head was debating on what I should do? Should I left it here, If I left it here then that implies that I will come back later to check up on him or should I just take this and left his place and never going back?
The second choice is much better and makes a lot of sense to me for someone that wants to stay in the friend zone so I choose the second.
I take the medkit. I walk and take my phone and head toward his front door to walk into my apartment room. I take a deep breath and put the medkit in the table of my small living room before walk toward the bathroom to clean myself from his blood...
I did felt want to throw up every time I thought about it. I lock the door and look in the mirror for just a second and start to remove my stuff. From my wig-hair then to my contact lens after that my necklace, before stepping inside the shower, I use the cold water to more fresh myself. After a while of showering, I take the towel and dry out myself.
I look at the mirror for a second before look back at my table. I gave out a loud sigh and putting my wig on, eyes are easy to hide but hair is a little hard and there is no way that I would wear a contact lens on my sleep. If you're wondering why I wear my wigs on? Well, he is KID FLASH and there is a high possibility that he vibrates himself and enters my place without my approval and now that I know about his identities he would have no worries (on the other hand that makes me worry more). If he did vibrate himself into here then I should quickly hide my eyes. That should be easy, I hope...
Or maybe I should quickly and spray him or maybe hit him with a pan. But how?
Try to hit him is already hard to let alone hitting him with something. I should use electricity maybe. He did stop at level four containment but it will hurt him a lot.
I put on my necklace and look up again to stare at my cat iris pink eyes. Before moving to go out of my bathroom and enter my living room.
I take a sit on the comfy sofa and start thinking again, 'I still have to be aware. Kid Flash was another thing but if one of the titans then I should think another way to trick them especially with Robin.' I look at my bag before reach for it. I open it and pull out the gems. It still flickering a little. I turn it around a couple more, to catch something other than the gems that are fishy or maybe I was searching for some little machine, but there are none which means that the source of danger indeed is on the gems.
'Good thing is that tomorrow there is no class and the day after so I could use my free time to go to her but I can't just walk in and do it. I need a plan. Some plan that will actually work. I need to get her out of there.'
I wrap the gems in my handkerchief, just in case and put it back inside my bag. 'I hope that should be able to hide the light.'
I hide my bag inside one of the drawers below my tv where I place all of the books that I bought. I take some books out and put my bag more deep inside the drawer before cover it with books. There is some book left that didn't fit inside so I just take them to the bookshelf and tidy them up. I just hope that there's nothing weird about this.
I walk to my bedroom and decide to just sleep with the necklace on me.
Another chapter, I will try to post soon but I have a test coming up so I have to use most of my times study.
