When I came back from my meeting, I was pleased to find that Haruhi hadn't move an ear and was patiently waiting in our room. Chizuru was there too, sewing with a cup of tea.
« I'm back. » I said, getting my boots off.
« Welcome home. » replied Chizuru and Haruhi as if they were one.
This had something strange but also very savory to be greeted that way by what I could call now my family. There was so much serenity in this room... All the contrary of my meeting. I sighed and took away my coat and neck cloth, unbuttoning the first button of my shirt. The weather was getting warmer lately and being that covered had something uncomfortable. Yet, I would never complain in front of the other warriors and I would keep myself perfectly tidy but in the security of this room, I could be a little more relaxed. I went to my desk to put down the reports I had and served myself a sake cup.
« Do you want one ? » I asked Chizuru.
« No thank you, I'm feeling more like tea. » she answered with a smile.
I nodded and looked by the window at the men practicing outside under Keisuke's command. I stopped practicing, it was only a waste of bullets. Hijikata-san probably would be mad with it but he wasn't there and I had greater responsibilities than waste bullets on a stupid target.
« Here, Haruhi » I heard Chizuru say « try it on to see if I need to shorten the sleeves again. »
I turned to look at the both of them. Haruhi was putting on a white shirt and struggling with buttons.
« Why is she wearing a western shirt ? » I frowned.
« Don't ask me ! » answered Chizuru, putting both hands in the air in surrender and sighing heavily « I came back with beautiful furisode that were exactly her size but your daughter said it wouldn't be practical with her swords. I went to ask for a hakama or a training kimono but the lord's boys are shorter than Haruhi and so there weren't any for her. I asked for the smallest size of our soldier's uniforms and I'm making ajustements to have it even smaller. This is going to take me hours. » she complained.
I frowned some more. What was that nonsense again ? What was wrong with furisode kimono ? It suited little girls. Unlike a western uniform.
« Well, I guess it'll go better with her hair anyway... She looks like a boy. » she sighed before adressing Haruhi « did you really have to cut them this short ? They were so beautiful... »
Chizuru, please don't...
« That looks like Okita's haircut » she chuckled.
Shit...
« It's not. » said Haruhi firmly.
« Oh, come on ! » said Chizuru « It's not a shame, it's even adorable that you wanted to have the same haircut than Okita... You know, we liked him too and we miss him... »
« It's not Souji's. » she repeated with more force.
« Okay, okay ! » said Chizuru, pining some needles in the sleeves. « Put on the trousers. »
Haruhi did what Chizuru told her and the latter put some more needles around the waist and the bottom to shorten it.
« It's Kondou's... » muttered Haruhi.
« What ? » asked Chizuru.
« My hair. » she repeated « They're like Kondou-san. »
« I see... » replied Chizuru with a kind smile and a glimpse in my direction.
It was indead as much Kondou-san's haircut than it was Souji's. He always copied the commander's haircut in an inconscient attempt probably to be seen like a son. Kondou-san always had a lot of affection for Souji. I always wondered why he never adopted him. Souji probably waited his whole life for this even if he never told anyone. All his life revolved around Kondou-san. It always had.
« Souji helped me cut them... » she muttered again.
« Really ? » asked Chizuru, taking the trousers off « but this haircut isn't very feminine... »
« It's more practical » replied Haruhi with a shrug.
« Your ponytail was practical too. I trained with one for years and so did your father. » said Chizuru, sewing again. « and you could still remove it to make beautiful big buns with hairpins... »
I saw that Haruhi was about to explode and so, I decided to step in before the peacefulness of our room was tainted.
« Chizuru, it's irrelevant. » I said calmly but with a hint of authority « It's hair. It'll grow back eventually. »
« You're not upset ? » asked Chizuru, surprised.
« I cut my hair too. » I just said « end of topic. »
Of course I was a bit upset. I had no experience with raising children but I would prefer my daughter to have long hair and a furisode rather than look like a boy. I failed somewhere. Maybe I shouldn't have allowed her to learn how to fight.
« We're lucky this is Aizu. » I stated « They are more open minded than other provinces. They have a lot of female warriors and every Aizu daughter of samurai is trained in martial arts. »
« Really ?! » asked Haruhi.
« There aren't any here but maybe you'll meet some eventually. » I said, finishing my sake cup. « Is this going to take long ? We are going to be late for supper. »
« Just let me finish on the trousers. » said Chizuru « I will take care of the waistcoat and the vest later. She can wear only the shirt and trousers tonight, the weather is nice. »
« Alright » I nodded « Haruhi, you will take care of your waistcoat and vest. You won't bother Chizuru any longer. »
« But I don't know how... » she said shyly.
« You'll learn. » I ordered « If you are going to make caprices then you'll take responsibility for it. »
« O... Okay... » she said, turning to Chizuru to seek help.
« Don't worry, it's not that difficult. You'll learn fast. » said my wife with a reassuring smile.
Haruhi had to learn how to sew anyway. She knew how to cook, clean a house and also could read and write but sewing was as important as all this for a girl. At that rate, she would come to age to marry and won't know girl's basic knowledge. Maybe I should think about other things that Haruhi had to learn... I would talk to Chizuru about it.
« Okay, put them on. » said Chizuru and Haruhi complied.
The shirt fitted and the trousers were of correct length. Chizuru also made it smaller on the waist and with a belt, it fitted well too. She really was a talented seamstress. The girls were both satisfied and my wife seemed very proud of herself when Haruhi thanked her genuinely. Chizuru stood up and I came to offer her a hand. Her breath was short and thanks to my Rasetsu nature, I could sense that her heart was pumping madly again. I kept her hand in mine innocently so she wouldn't think that I thought she was incapacitated or something but so I would be quicker to react in case of problem.
« Are you still pregnant ?! » asked Haruhi, out of the blue.
« Yes » chuckled Chizuru « The baby won't be there before six more months. »
« Why don't you have a big belly, then ? » asked Haruhi, confused.
The question was asked innocently but I sent an icy glare to Haruhi to silence her and she understood her mistake. That subject was really sensitive for Chizuru who was completely panicked that her womb wasn't growing. She was touching it so often and I knew she was worried sick about the baby and her absence of belly. And I knew too that she was feeling responsible about it. I was often catching her looking at me after she touched her stomach. She wanted so badly to give me a child and not disappoint me that she was panicking alone and feeling completely down and abnormal. I tried my best to reassure her but I've never been the best to confort people and especially on a subject that I didn't know much about.
« I guess it's just late... » replied Chizuru to justify herself to the both of us even if she didn't need to « I'm sure it will grow eventually... »
« It will. » I just said without any hint of doubt in my voice. « Let's go. »
I grabbed my swords and put them in my sash and Haruhi tied a sash too around her waist.
« Haruhi, you're not taking your sword. » I ordered.
« Why ?! » she yelled « you're taking yours ! »
« What use do you have of them ? » I asked, annoyed.
« I'm a warrior, I keep my swords. » she said firmly.
« You are no warrior, Haruhi. » I sighed « you are a child. Put them down. »
« Why am I no warrior ? » she asked.
« Haruhi. » I said with a lot of authority « I already have too much on my mind to add a disobedient daughter to it. So now, you put your swords down. »
« Chizuru's keeping her kodachi... » I heard her mutter and I ignored it.
I waited for her to comply and she did eventually, leaving her swords near her futon.
« Are you sure it's safe for my katana ? » she asked « Souji asked me to keep it close... »
« It's safe. » I nodded « come on. »
She followed us without complaining until we arrived to the dining room where we took a tray each and sat with the other commanders, the lord and his family. He insisted to have the high ranked sharing his table every evening to show his appreciation. Some faces were confident, others were glum. The imperial army was there, nearly at our doors, and the fighting would probably start tomorrow.
« Saito-san » said the lord of Komine « I see you brought your son at my table. I heard about his misadventures and I am glad to see him safe. Coming all this way from Edo alone shows some extraordinary skills. He will surely be a great warrior one day and make you proud. Maybe I will employ him. » he chuckled.
« Thank you, my lord » I bowed slightly « but this is my daughter, Haruhi. I do understand that her appearance can be confusing. My apologies. »
« A girl ?! » he said with a bark of laughter « then in that case, I pity the man who will marry her. »
I sensed Haruhi tense with growing anger and I discreetly put my hand on her thigh to calm her down. Now wasn't the time to start a conflict with our employers because of my daughter's short temper.
« I don't, my lord. » I simply said « She would make sure he is worthy of her. I pity the men who will fail to prove her their worth. »
Laugher exploded in the room and Haruhi relaxed a little. A faint smile appeared on her face when she looked up to me and I answered with one of my own. The meal was shared in laughter and good spirit as if no one cared about tomorrow's battle and when it was finished, Chizuru and Haruhi got back to our room while I stayed to drink a little with my comrades. When I eventually returned, I found the girls already sleeping. I put on my sleeping nagajuban and laid on my futon next to Chizuru's. I decided not to disturb her and I fixed the ceiling for minutes before turning my back on her and try to sleep.
As I was drifting away, I heard a sound and I put my hand on my sword as a reflex but it was only Haruhi who was pulling her futon on the floor to take it near mine. She laid back on hers and moved towards me to snuggle. I closed my arms on her, not pushing her away. The kid lost Souji, Kondou-san... and she was going to witness war for the first time tomorrow. Maybe I could take a bit off my sleeping time to act as a father. She snuggled even more and stayed in my arms until she fell asleep.
