Chapter 18 – Disenchanted

Ben's breath was ragged and his heart felt like it was racing a mile a minute after having ran across the entire Senate building. "Okay… okay," he wheezed, coming to a stop in front of the entrance to the committee room and pressing his hand against the wall to stabilize himself. "You… you win." His neck lolled forward as he took a few more moments to catch his breath.

"But I thought it wouldn't be fair?" he heard Ania's smug voice say. "You have such longer strides!"

Ben looked back up and gave his triumphant sister a dirty look. "Very funny," he sneered. Ania was leaning casually against the same wall Ben was currently propping himself against. It seemed that unlike him, she wasn't out of breath in the slightest. On the contrary, Ben saw no evidence that she had exerted herself whatsoever.

"Ah, Senator Skywalker, it's good to see you."

Startled, Ben pushed himself off the wall and spun around to see a tall, grey-haired woman standing a few feet away from him with her hands held behind her back. She was extremely thin to the point that Ben considered her skeletal, especially in comparison to Ania who was standing right next to her. Her sunken cheeks and prominently protruding collarbones were downright perturbing to him.

"Senator Chamylle," he greeted, attempting as best he could to keep his voice even despite still being short of breath. "How are you?"

"As well as one can be on such a grim day as this," the Chandrilan senator responded in her typical, drawling speech. "It's going to be a bloodbath in there," she added, gesturing to the door to the committee room. "I hope you're up for the task."

"A bloodbath?" Ania repeated, clearly bemused. "Why?"

Chamylle glanced at Ania for the first time and quirked an eyebrow. "Forgive me, I don't believe we have been acquainted," she said, peering down at the much smaller woman with a curious expression.

"I'm Ania," Ania said at once, extending her calloused hand to shake Chamylle's bony one. "I'm the, er… I'm the junior senator from Arkanis."

"Oh," Chamylle said, releasing Ania's hand. "And you are a member of this committee?" she asked, sounding incredulous.

Ania tilted her head, clearly taking offense to the senior senator's tone. "I am, as a matter of fact," she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Chamylle glanced at him with an amused smirk which Ben did not reciprocate. "I must say, I am surprised," she said, returning her attention to Ania. "This is one of the most esteemed committees in the entire Senate. Your party members must have great faith in you to elect someone so young to the post."

"I have no party," Ania said tartly, her jaw clenched as she stared back at Chamylle with a defiant expression. "I was selected by the Vice Chair herself to fill a vacancy."

"I see," Chamylle said, elevating her chin slightly so as to project an even more condescending attitude toward her diminutive colleague. "Well, I must be going," she said after another moment of consideration. "Senator Skywalker, I will see you in the chamber."

Ben nodded curtly to Chamylle, taking umbrage with her lack of a comparable farewell to Ania. She seemed to be upset too, because as soon as Chamylle walked away she spun toward him looking incensed. "What the hell was that?" she asked him in an angry whisper. "What a bitch!"

"Senators tend to be quite elitist, especially those from the Core Worlds," Ben told her. "Don't let it get to you, that's just the way things are around here." Ania scoffed and shook her head, craning her neck down the hallway where Chamylle had disappeared down. "Hey," Ben said, reaching out and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. Ania looked around quickly to meet his eyes. "Nobody will treat you like that ever again," he said. "Not after they know who you are."

Ania smiled faintly at him. "You're right," she said. "But it's still frustrating! She had no right to treat me that way just because of my age and where I'm from!"

Ben sighed and nodded in agreement. Hand still on her shoulder, Ben guided her around so they could walk toward the committee room together. "People get an inflated ego when they're in power," he told his frustrated sister. "It's regrettable, but it's more or less unavoidable."

"What about you?" Ania asked him. "Do you have an inflated ego?"

Ben chuckled and glanced down at her. "About some things," he said with a grin.

"Oh, I don't think so," Ania told him as they entered the boisterous committee room. Senators and aides of all species and creeds were milling about in anticipation for his arrival. Not wanting to be overheard, Ania took a step toward him and got up on her toes. "You have a good heart, Ben," she whispered in his ear. "You're nothing like these other senators."

Ben smiled appreciatively at Ania as she stepped away from him. Noticing that they were garnering some attention, he quickly wiped the affectionate expression from his face and stepped away. "Thank you, Senator," he said with false gravitas. "I'll take your opinion into advisement."

Ania giggled, not bothering to put up a façade for their colleagues on account to her impending resignation. Ben wished he could be so insouciant, but knew he couldn't. There was much more at stake for him than there was for Ania. If he were to resign, it would send shock waves throughout the whole galaxy.

"I'll see you after the meeting, Ben," Ania told him as she started walking away toward her seat. "Good luck."

Smiling subtly as he watched her walk away, Ben finally shook his head and turned around as well. Disregarding the curious looks he was receiving, Ben made his way toward his elevated podium at the head of the hall. Ascending the three stairs to his seat, Ben set his satchel on the desk in front of him and pushed his hair out of his face as he looked up.

The long room was dominated by two separate sets of benches which ran along the left and right walls. While there was no official seating assignment, the senators tended to orient themselves by ideology and party affiliation. Because of this, the right side of the hall was jam-packed with his political allies: the pacifists and so-called 'Amidala Liberals.' The benches on the left side of the hall were far sparser. That was where Zorq and his hawks had chosen to seat. Looking over their way, Ben saw Ania seated by herself toward the back of the hall, distinctly aloof from her soon-to-be-erstwhile senatorial colleagues. Their eyes met for a moment and Ben gave her a sympathetic nod as if to say don't worry, this will be over soon.

With that, Ben looked away and grabbed the gavel which was rested on the desk in front of him. Pounding the gavel against the sound block, he instilled an abrupt silence on the chamber. "Senators, this committee is now in session," he said, setting the gavel aside and looking up to meet the collective gaze of his colleagues. "We are convened here at the behest of the Chancellor who asked us to discuss the developments pertaining to the terrorist strikes in the Mid and Outer Rims. The floor is open to discussion."

And thus the debating began. Ben remained impassively neutral throughout the majority of the session, electing to watch from his podium as the senators arguments grew more and more vociferous. Unsurprisingly, Zorq was clamoring for an increased military presence in the Mid Rim and for the expansion of the New Republic's fleet.

"Such a proposition is ludicrous!" someone protested from the right end of the hall.

"On the contrary, Senator, it is your intransigence and steadfast denial of the severity of the situation which is ludicrous!" Zorq fired back cogently. Ben arched an eyebrow as he watched the zabrak senator closely. He was quite surprised to find that he was in agreement with more or less everything which Zorq was saying. While his proposals went a bit too far for Ben's liking, he couldn't deny that the notoriously jingoistic senator from Iridonia was acting rationally.

"Senator Skywalker, what say you?"

Ben turned to the summon, eyebrows raised in surprise. It was quite rare for someone to ask the chair directly for their opinion. Such a move was indicative of the burgeoning desperation of the pacifists. No doubt, they were hoping for him to shoot Zorq down like he had done many times in the past.

He had no such intentions of doing that today, however.

"Senators, I fear the dire developments in recent weeks have rendered the proposals of my esteemed colleague from Iridonia pragmatic," he said. He paused as the right side of the hall collectively inhaled in shock. Sparing a glance over toward Zorq, he saw that the zabrak senator was blinking rapidly in disbelief. "While I do not endorse his call for a fifty percent increase in military expenditure, I believe the exigency of the situation warrants a substantial increase."

The right side of the hall exploded in outrage at this proposition. Ben waited patiently for the uproar to die down as he glared down at his colleagues with a stolid frown. In spite of his phlegmatic exterior, Ben's heart was pounding furiously inside his chest. He knew taking such a position was a colossal risk, especially in light of his previous positions. Would he be able to survive such a drastic policy switch?

"Order!" Ben roared finally, smashing the gavel several times until the clamor finally died down.

"Senator Skywalker, have you consulted your grandmother on this proposition?" a senator asked him.

Ben's face turned taut as he looked away. The news of his grandmother's death had not been made public yet as Ben had intended on revealing that information to the press in tandem with the announcement that Ania was his sister.

"My grandmother is not a member of this chamber," Ben decided to say finally, his voice stern so as to bely his bereavement.

"But Senator –"

"I move to submit a suggestion to the Senate for the expansion of the military budget by twenty-five percent in the next fiscal year," Ben interrupted in a booming voice, determined to quell any further questions about his grandmother.

"Twenty-five percent?" a senator on the right exclaimed. "That's enormous! What would you have to slash from the budget to make that work?"

"Twenty-five percent is not enough!" Zorq suddenly chimed in, pounding his fist on the bench for emphasis. "Such an insignificant increase would be entirely ineffective!"

"Insignificant?" an incredulous senator repeated. "You're delusional Zorq! And so are you, Skywalker, if you think that is feasible!"

"It may not be feasible, but it is necessary," Ben retorted coolly. "War is coming, Senators. If you were able to read the intelligence briefing this morning and still think that conflict is not inevitable, I am afraid it is you who is delusional."

"How dare you!"

Once again, the right side of the hall erupted in objection to Ben's impudence. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples wearily as he waited for the deafening noise to die down for a second time.

"Order!" he called for after a full minute. Unlike last time, however, the senators did not comply with his demand.

"I call for a vote of no confidence!" a clarion voice suddenly called out. Spinning his head toward it, Ben saw that it was Senator Chamylle.

"Seconded!" several voices concurred at once.

"Wait –" Ben tried to say, but he was cut off when the right side of the hall began chanting.

"Hold a vote! Hold a vote! Hold a vote!"

"Order! Order!"

"Hold a vote! Hold a vote! Hold a vote!"

Ben set aside the ineffectual gavel and got to his feet. "I cannot call a vote for a baseless proposition!" he bellowed, his voice instilling a modicum of calm over the rambunctious proceedings. "On what grounds do you call for this vote of no confidence?" he asked Chamylle icily.

"Conflict of interest!" Chamylle exclaimed at once.

"What conflict?" Ben asked, perplexed as much as he was indignant.

"Your mother!" another senator proclaimed. "You want to embezzle this administration's funds toward her!"

"That's absurd!" Ben protested. "You elected me to this position one year ago fully aware of this supposed conflict of interest."

The senators disregarded his logic and began chanting once again.

"Hold a vote! Hold a vote! Hold a vote!"

Sitting back down, Ben slouched back in his chair as he turned his head to the left to find Ania in the crowd. She looked outraged, her brow furrowed and her jaw clenched angrily as she seethed at the senators on the opposite side of the hall. Feeling his eyes on her, Ania turned to meet his gaze.

"Hold a vote! Hold a vote! Hold a vote!"

Who knew pacifists could be so vicious?


"I can't believe them! They're complete morons! All of them!"

Ben nodded absently in agreement as he stared blankly at his desk. Ania was pacing agitatedly in front of him in his office, her powerful strides causing the floor to shake and his seat to vibrate.

"They all read that briefing!" she said, spinning and pointing a finger at him. "They all know what's happening! How can they just sit there and do nothing?"

Ben shrugged as he looked up languidly at his irate sister. "I warned you, Ania," he said in a sullen voice. "They're afraid."

"They're not afraid, they're cowardly!" Ania retorted. "None of those fools know what fear is. Not like I do. And certainly not like the victims of the First Order do! People are dying, and they're too craven to do anything about it!"

Ben was about to express his agreement when the doorbell to his office suddenly rang. Both he and Ania looked away down the hallway at the noise.

"Who's that?" Ania asked.

"No idea," Ben said, having not expected any visitors this afternoon. "Let's find out, shall we?" Without bothering to get up to answer the door, he merely reached across his desk to a small control panel and pressed a button to open the door. "Come in!" he called out down the hall to his mysterious guest.

Heavy footsteps proceeded the arrival of the last man Ben had ever expected to see in his office: Senator Zorq.

"Zorq?" Ben said, his surprise so great that he forgot the formalities.

"No need to stand up," the senator from Iridonia said with a smirk. Ben blinked a few times and remained seated firmly in his seat. Glancing at Ania, Zorq's smirk transformed into a frown. "What are you doing here, Senator?" he asked her.

"I, uh… I was just…"

"No matter what she's doing," Ben interrupted, putting a merciful end to Ania's floundering. "The real question is what are you doing here, Zorq?"

Zorq looked away from Ania and narrowed his eyes at him. "I figured it would be prudent for us to talk after the spectacle earlier this afternoon," he said.

"And why would that be?" Ben asked coldly. He didn't care whether Zorq was here to gloat or to genuinely discuss his proposals, Ben just wanted to be alone with his sister right now. He had never felt so disillusioned with the political process as he did right now; he just wanted to quit and leave it all behind to train as a Jedi.

"When you get booted off your podium tomorrow, I want you to join me on the left side of that hall," Zorq said, taking a seat despite not being asked. Leaning forward toward him, Zorq placed his fist on the desk. "Together you and I could be powerful allies, Skywalker," he said.

"You think?" Ben asked, arching an eyebrow skeptically. "I'm finished, Zorq. Can't you see that? Everyone who ever supported me turned against me."

"So what?" Zorq said, pounding his fist against the desk emphatically. "History will prove them to be fools when the First Order comes knocking on the door of the Inner Core. They can turn a blind eye now since the attacks are so far away, but soon things will change. Soon the people will support us."

"There is no us, Zorq," Ben said with a shake of his head. "I'm not a hawk."

"Nor are you a pacifist," Zorq pointed out.

Ben shrugged and glanced up at Ania who was watching them with her arms crossed. "I'm a pragmatist," Ben conceded. "I support what's right."

"And you know that what's right is fighting back against these terrorists!" Zorq said enthusiastically. "Join me, and together we can do that!"

Ben considered this impassioned invitation for a moment before leaning away from Zorq. "No," he said flatly. "I won't join you."

"Why not?" Zorq asked, visibly surprised by his decision.

"I'm stepping down from my committee position tomorrow morning," Ben said. "I'll never be able to get anything done in the CIH with the right having such an overwhelming majority. The only way to proceed is to bypass them completely."

"Bypass them?" Zorq repeated curiously as he too pulled himself away from the desk and sat up straight in his seat. "You mean through the Senate itself?"

"That's right," Ben affirmed. "The CIH is technically only an advisory body. Any individual senator can present legislation to the Senate if he or she chooses."

"But without the support of the CIH –"

"I don't give a damn about that, Zorq," Ben interrupted brusquely. "I don't care how many times my bills get shot down, I'm going to keep presenting them until one gets through."

"You're playing a dangerous game, Skywalker," Zorq warned. "You might as well be committing political suicide by ignoring conventions like this."

"Yeah, well I'd rather be a martyr than a bystander," Ben said sharply. With that, he abruptly stood up out of his seat. "If you will excuse me, Senator, Ania and I are on our way to an appointment," he said. Technically, this wasn't a lie since they were supposed to meet their mother later that afternoon to resume their training, but that wasn't for at least two more hours. "Ania, let's go."

"Senator, wait!"

Ben had just taken Ania's arm and had made his way toward the mouth of the hallway leading toward the exit when Zorq stopped him. Craning his neck back to look at the burly zabrak, Ben kept his body facing toward the exit so as to demonstrate his eagerness to depart.

"I just want to say that I admire your courage," Zorq told him cordially.

Ben contemplated Zorq's genuine countenance for a moment before nodding. "Thank you, Senator, but it's not courage," he said. "It's duty."


Ben and Ania arrived at their mother's apartment about a half hour later. Not even bothering to ring the bell, Ben let himself in with a quick glance at the retinal scanner. He knew his mother wouldn't be home until much later, so he figured they might as well wait inside. Being early suited Ben just fine as it gave him some time to work on drafting the press release for tomorrow morning.

He was seated at the kitchen table typing away on his datapad while Ania milled about the apartment, inspecting every corner of her mother's place of residence with the utmost fascination. Every now and then Ben would glance up from his work to watch her. It was so endearing to him to see how reverent she was of their mother. The purity of her admiration for Leia was a beautiful thing for him to witness.

Because of that, Ben was immeasurably glad that Leia hadn't given Ania any cause for disappointment. She was being everything Ania needed her to be: a caring and compassionate yet also stern and authoritative mother. If Ben was being frank, he was baffled by how well his mother had been handling everything. It seemed Ania's return had instilled a sense of purpose in her which kept her going in spite of the losses of her husband, brother, and mother. Leia was demonstrating a type of mental fortitude he never knew she was capable of.

Yet it wasn't just this fortitude which impressed Ben, but also her ability to love Ania in spite of what she had done. Ben meant what he had said to Ania earlier that morning: he had never seen his mother act as affectionately with another person as she did with Ania; not toward Han, not toward Luke, not toward Padmé, and not even toward him. For whatever reason, Leia felt uniquely comfortable with expressing her love for Ania.

It wasn't because she happened to love her more than anyone else. He knew that wasn't the case. Although he couldn't explain why, he knew that his mother loved her two children equally. Perhaps he could sense it somehow. Regardless, he knew that Leia loved him just as much as she did Ania. Therefore he was entirely comfortable with how differently she treated him and Ania. On the contrary, in a convoluted way he could even interpret it as a compliment. Leia clearly knew that Ania required her support and affection far more so than Ben did. As far as she was concerned, Ben was entirely self-sufficient. And he was, to an extent. While he did appreciate the rare moments when his mother did express affection toward him, he didn't require it like Ania did. He had been loved all his life whereas she had never been; it was only fair that Leia devote the majority of her maternal energies toward her long-lost daughter.

Ben was contemplating this when Ania suddenly entered the room and walked over toward him, a luminescent holobook pressed against her chest. "What do you have there?" he asked, pushing his datapad aside as Ania took a seat next to him at the kitchen table and rested the holobook in front of them.

"There are some pictures in here," Ania said, sounding a bit wistful as she pressed the cover of the holobook. "Have you ever seen these before?"

Ben shook his head as he scooted his chair closer to the table. Projected from the surface of the holobook was a three-dimensional portrait of a much-younger version of their mother. The picture rotated slowly allowing them a complete perspective of the portrait.

"She's so beautiful," Ania whispered after the picture had made a complete rotation. Holding out her hand, Ania stopped the rotation so she could look at young Leia's countenance head on.

Ben smiled, watching Ania's expression as she stared back at her mother's picture. Ania was utterly enraptured, her dark eyes sparkling as she leaned forward and placed her chin in her hands. Swiping forward, she moved on to the next picture.

"Who's that?" she asked, pointing to the woman standing at Leia's side in the picture. Ben hesitated, remembering a similar interaction he had with Rey when they had been walking down the Senate hallways. She had been so cheerful, holding onto his hand with her left and pointing at the various plaques with her right as they made they meandered down the empty halls…

"Ben?"

"Sorry," Ben said shaking his head as he returned his attention to the picture in front of him. "Oh, that's Senator Mothma," Ben said upon inspecting the refined woman at his mother's side. "She was a good friend of both Mom and Grandma." He paused, the mention of his grandmother producing an unwanted wave of emotion within him. "She passed away a few years ago, I think," he managed to say, his voice a bit thick.

Ania didn't seem to notice his moment of melancholy as she was too engrossed with the picture to pay him any heed. "That's a pretty dress," she commented, gesturing to the elaborate gown Leia was wearing in the picture. "Does she have a lot of dresses?"

"Mom? I don't think so. She doesn't dress up much."

"I've never worn a dress before," Ania said glumly. Surprised by this confession, Ben quirked his eyebrow and gave his sister a quizzical look. He never would have expected Ania of all people to express such a great interest in something as frivolous as dresses, but perhaps that was merely because she had never been given the chance.

"I'm sure we could rectify that," Ben said therefore. "Mom's got to have some lying around somewhere."

"You think?" Ania asked, her eyes shining as she turned to him. Ben bit back a snarky comment and nodded. "I'd love that," she said, clasping her hands together in front of her chest. Suddenly, she cleared her throat when she seemed to realize that Ben was giving her a strange look. "I mean… that might be fun," she amended hastily. Lowering her hands, she quickly swiped to the next picture. "Oh," she said, inhaling sharply at the image in front of them.

It was their parents; they were holding each other's hands as they looked at each other with radiant expressions which Ben found to be almost cloying. Judging by their outfits, Ben reckoned it was their wedding day. His father was wearing a sleek grey suit and his typically unruly salt and pepper hair was combed and parted. His face was illuminated by a broad smile as he looked down at their mother who was wearing a ruffled light blue dress.

Watching Ania out of the corner of his eye, he saw that for the first time she wasn't staring at Leia. This time around, she had eyes only for her father. "I killed him, Ben," she said hoarsely, her lower chin beginning to tremble as she continued to stare at Han's ebullient expression. "I killed my own father."

Ben swallowed hard, not sure what to say. During his moment of deliberation, Ania lowered her head and began to cry. "Hey," Ben said, instinctively reaching out and wrapping an arm around her. "Don't cry. Remember what Mom said? You can't let yourself feel guilty."

"How can I n-not?" Ania asked, tears still streaming as she looked up at him with glistening eyes. "I did it. Me! It was me who st-stabbed him in the heart!" Bowing her head once more, Ania covered her face with her hands and continued to weep. Ben watched for a moment longer before pushing his chair so that it was right next to Ania's. Arm still wrapped around her shoulder, Ben pulled her in toward his chest and stroked her hair gently as she cried. "Why can't you just hate me?" she asked, her voice muffled as she spoke into his chest. "It would be so much easier if you just hated me."

Ben sighed as he looked up. That's when he saw her standing a few feet away at the entrance to the kitchen. His mother had evidently arrived without either of them noticing. She was dressed in her typical military garb, indicating she had just returned from work. Standing stiffly with her hands behind her back, Leia watched the two of them with a somber expression.

"We won't hate you, Ania," Ben whispered to his sister while making eye contact with his mother. "We never have and we never will."