I Don't Own Harry Potter
I watched as a silvery fox shot out of my wand and smashed into the dementor, and I watched with shaky legs and a look of hate that I couldn't control on my face as I watched as the cloak dementor fled from it fox who continued to chase that fucking monstrosity down. Watching the door for a few more moments, I took a shaky breath before collapsing in my seat from my legs giving out on me.
"Kyu!" I felt my gaze snap to Blaise who was suddenly in front of me with a look of concern as he leaned in and put a hand on my shoulder, and suddenly every part of my body needed to move, to not be there, to not be touch! I shot to my feet while tackling Blaise off of me, doing my best to ignore the panicked looks that everyone was giving me as I nearly snarled out.
"Don't. Touch. Me" I took a few steadying breaths before slowly sitting back in my chair as I slowly forced my mind to restart itself. A few minutes later my breathing was back to normal and I had repressed the shit out of my emotions before saying in a calm voice.
"Sorry. That was a dementor, I was unaware one would have such a strong effect on me" I noted that all four of them gasped at that bit of knowledge, clearly they knew what it was then. Good, I would hate to have to explain it. Though I noted that Blaise looked the most concerned, he had leaned forwards again, to close, though he kept from trying to touch me again.
"What did you see" I looked up at him in the eyes, before sighing as I leaned back to slump against the seat I was in before saying.
"The worst day of my life. It was...unpleasant" Now that I had forced myself back into a not panicking mindset, I noted that everyone in the compartment with me were also shaking. Slowly, I stood up and forced my legs to stop being pathetic and pulled out Theo's trunk, opening it up I dug around until I found what I was looking for, a bag of sweets, opening it I pulled out a few chocolate bars and told them while handing the sweets out.
"Eat" They knew better than to question me as they all took a bite and just like that the shaking seemed to stop almost completely. Taking a shaky breath myself, I ripped up the wrapper and bit off a big chunk and held back a sigh as the cold seemed to disappear, which was much more effective than me strangling it into a corner of my mind so I could think properly. With that I sat back into the chair behind me.
"You said Expecto Patronum? Wasn't that the spell you were having problems with last year? I'm really glad you figured it out" I just nodded, to mentally out of it still to give a better response, but that doesn't mean I wasn't just a tiny bit angry at myself. I hesitated, I saw the shadow of the thing and I reacted, but I couldn't get the spell out in time. I knew this would happen, I knew the fucking spell, but I couldn't get the memories up in time, I was distracted and I had to relive being stabbed and beaten again.
Never again, I refuse to ever have to relive that memory again, the next time a dementor even thinks of getting close to me I'm summoning my Patronus, I might just keep it around at all times anyway to be honest. No, that would be a stupid an illogical thing to do, it would be a constant drain on my magic, and if I never accumulate myself to the exposure, for at least brief times, then I'll keep freaking out in their presence and maybe next time I won't be able to break out of the effects enough to cast the spell.
"Are you sure you're okay? I know it was pretty bad for me and all but you collapsed. What was so bad th-?" Theo had asked, but before he could continue Blaise had turned and glared murder at him while both Daphne and Tracey had smacked a hand over his mouth. I rolled my eyes at that before saying.
"Dementor don't just take you back to when you were feeling depressed or bad. They bring you back to the most horrible memory you have, most would have something to do with emotional weight. When one's mother dies for example, you remember how horrible one felt as they watched their mother die. For me it brings pain, the worst pain I had ever felt with no hope of it ever stopping" That cabin went silent only interrupted as Theo muttered a small 'sorry' into the air. I just sighed before saying.
"It doesn't effect me like you all, it hurt but there was no real emotional weight to it, I just have to get over the shakes from the pain and I'll be fine" It was a lie, I remember how I felt, the cold terror from the thought of death getting me and the last thing I'll ever feel is the pain that filled my entire body that seemed to not have an end. But sociopath, I can't have that being known.
"Ok" I just took at that and closed my eyes and continued to get my mind back into full working order. While this was happening though, the doors opened again and before I was aware of it, I was back on my feet, wand in hand. I'm on edge. Slowly lowering it at the unamused expression on Lupin's face, I slowly sat back down and sighed before saying out.
"Sorry about that. Nerves are on edge at the moment" That seemed to get some pity out of him as he sighed before digging into his coat pocket but I just held up my hand and said.
"Save it for the others, I already gave them some. Oh and if you see a fox protronus, could you get it back here?" He;s face went through an interesting cycle of emotions before shaking he's head and said calmly like he didn't just hear a student knew the perfected version of one of the hardest light magics out there.
"Well it seems that you're all in good hands here, I'll be heading on now" I just waved him off as I sat back down noting everyone was looking at the retreating back of our newest Professor with curiosity in their eyes.
"That's the new Defense Professor" They all looked back over at me with a look that was asking me how I knew that, to which I just rolled my eyes and said.
"He knew about the remedy of chocolate to the effects of a dementor, someone also casted a Protronus and considering that no one could have even heard about that spell unless they know a good bit about dark creatures, so one plus one equals two. Plus Lockhart got fired last year and is currently in Azkaban for fraud and illegal use of memory charms" Everyone was looking at me even harder now, so I rolled my eyes even harder in response and said.
"I noticed it run by a while ago, I would have recognized my own so it had to have been his. What? You think a little pain is going to stop me from noticing stuff" They looked away at that, probably thinking that a little pain wouldn't have made someone almost black out from it alone, which is what I also did before I caught on with what was happening to me.
"Well, I knew you were both crazy and crazy smart so this shouldn't be to much of a surprise I guess. Still, you said it was difficult right? Because you can't feel, do you think we could learn it? Because to be honest mate, I don't ever want to feel like that again" I glanced at Blaise from his request before shifting my eyes to the other three who were also looking at me like they wanted the same. After a moment I finally said.
"Fine, but it isn't exactly easy even if you can feel. I learned it because it was challenging and it still took me almost half a year to manage it" They seemed pleased with that and just a bit put out that it took me so long, as they didn't want to think about how long it would take them, though Blaise seemed to be putting to much stock in him thinking that because he can 'feel' more than me he'll learn it faster.
"Mr. Malo if you would come with me" Looking over at Snape as he had walked up to me, I looked up at him and nodded before following after him as Blaise looked on, probably wondering what that was about. After a bit of walking, I noted that I wasn't heading to the dungeons were Snape's office was, no this was to the Gryffindor tower. Looking over at him, I noted that he didn't seem all that pleased that he was even doing this in the first place, so I was a little confused as to what was happening.
And that's when we stopped in front of a door that I'm pretty sure was McGonagall's office, walking in, I noted that Hermione was in here as well, and with that I got a very good idea as to why I was here. Looking over at Snape, I wondered if he was going to say anything extra but he didn't as he just waved me inside and then walked out. I watched as he walked away for a moment before turning back to McGonagall and tilted my head in a silent question.
"You and miss Granger here have taken more electives than you could realistically do in a week, so an allowance has been made and the Ministry as granted us the use of a single time turner" Single, I figured as much, this was Snape's work around, I can't jump time at will if someone like Hermione is in charge of the turn backs, clever, it ruins some of my plans in fact, but it isn't to much of a problem as those plans were made encase I did get a time turner for myself which I figured was at best a twenty-eighty shot of happening with Snape in the way.
"I'm assuming that this means that we'll be sharing it then, that will be a bit complicated but I can make it work, who will be keeping hold of the device itself?" McGonagall looked at me then to Hermione for a few seconds each before holding it out to the Gryffindor, I figured that would happen.
"Now it'll be up to you two to work out a schedule to make sure you'll both get enough hours into the day without hunting the other down to jump back. With that stated, let's go over the rules shall we? Now the first thing to know it, no matter what, never-" At that point I only was keeping one ear open, after all Hermione will pay enough attention for the both of us.
Right now I was mentally counting out the extra hours I'll be getting from this, not including the extra work load. Four different classes at two separate times will be overlapped, and considering that the average class time, well I'll be a bit more tired but at this point I think I'm already breaking a few world records on prolonged lack of sleep so what a bit more really?
"Kyu, we'll have to compare our classes and see when we need to get together and spin the time turner. Should you come to the Gryffindor table tomorrow and we can check it over and make a schedule?" I just nodded, which she seemed to take as a good sign as I walked back to the opening feast with her, though I noted a hint of suspicion in Hermione's eyes when she looked over at me.
I think she thinks that I was annoyed that I didn't get one of my own to go and work more on my criminal activities. Well that's probably what she thought at least and I mean she wasn't wrong, as that was exactly what I was planning on doing, though this will be the only year I'll have access to the device so I'll have to make sure to take advantage of this.
As to why I knew about this being the only year the time turner would be here is because after this year Hermione will be giving it back and in the time in between I'm sure Snape will be coming up with new ways to stop me from getting my hands on one. I'm sure I could out think him if I really wanted to, but my plans considered this and so I only really need access to time travel this year, though it would most certainly come in handy to have later.
Really I planned this year out so I didn't even need time travel to begin with just in case I couldn't get it, but that would just leave my schedule really cramped with even more work to get done so this way I can get a couple more hours worth of work done a day not including weekends. My thoughts were stopped as I realized I had autopiloted my way back to my seat at Slytherin table.
"What did Snape want?" Blaise, who was nor ignoring Dumbledore's speech about the dementor was looking at me with some clear curiosity. So I just told him.
"My schedule is a bit packed this year he needed to mention something about it, he was trying to fuck with one of my plans basically" Blaise frowned at that as he knows I take my plans pretty seriously and so felt the need to ask.
"What plans?" I let a small grin pull on my lips as I thought about it, after a moment I said in a simple voice.
"I'm taking full control of Slytherin house, finally make our item smuggling ring the best in the school, finish my earbuds, find and/or make a few paths out of the castle, get everyone's Occlumency to the next level of progression, and start and finish three side projects. To name a few" He was looking at me in that way that I've come to describe as wondering, wondering how I'll sleep that is. Which is fair.
Though the only one that will take all that long is the earbuds, which have been a constant source of both entertainment and headaches. After all Slytherin is basically already under my thumb, the smuggling ring is something already set up, I just need to make it better which is what the ways out of the castle is for. The Occlumency thing is something that can be worked on by everyone else before they got o bed and I can do it whenever I have free time.
The projects though, well those are going to be a bit difficult, one is to get Sirius free which might not be all that bad if everything goes to plan but I have a feeling that it's not. Another is to finally get that goddamn diadem from the Room of Requirement and destroy it, which is mostly just a pain in the ass because of how unlucky I've been in my searching of it. And the last thing that I know I want to do at the moment is work on my nonverbal spells as I only know a couple basic ones for Charms and practically none for hexes and curses.
The only one that I know quite well is Transfiguration, so I want to start either working on wandless spells for it or start trying to figure about conjuration, the last branch of transfiguration, to change nothing into something. I expect that to be the second hardest to manage out of everything I have listed, though I still have time during the year to think of more things that I'll need to do.
"If I think you're losing it I'm going to force you to go to bed Kyu. I swear to Merlin, I will drug you with a sleep potion, don't think I can't" I wonder if I should also start on working on recognizing poisons. I've read most of them, but first hand experience wouldn't hurt, well it could, because poison and all that. Note to self, find a bezaor to keep on my person. And make sure to find a spell to double check for potions, I have a feeling that Blaise wasn't kidding after all and I'd rather not take that chance.
It was the next day in the third class I've had today, Care, and I was making sure to pay some attention to Draco as Hagrid talked about the hippogriffs, though I noted the fox in me didn't really like being close to the creatures, half horse or not they were still half eagles as well, and that means in a weird way I'm half prey to them. Though that's when everyone split up into different groups and I noted as Draco had already opened his mouth.
I was half tempted to leave him to his fact, but after a moment when the hippogriff's claws went up, I held out my hand add casted a nonverbal 'Accio' on the back of Draco's robes and with that he was sent flying back towards me and landed on his back while Buckbeak took a few steps forwards, clearly still wanting to take a stab at him but Hagrid ran up and grabbed onto the hippogiff and managed to wrestle it until it was calm, but I wasn't paying attention to that as I had turned to Draco and said.
"You seemed stupid enough to not listen but I didn't think you were stupid enough to try and get yourself killed as well" I said it blandly, like I really should have expected he was in fact that stupid, which Draco just snarled up at me for but that's when Hagrid ran up to us and glared down at Draco and barked out.
"Ya daft fool! These creatures are dangerous to ya, if you don't listen to me then the next time you'll lose an arm ya hear! Now up you get, ya should be grateful to Malo here you hear me! Otherwise ya would've gotten yourself kill" He seemed angry, though there was a strong hint like he didn't expect this reaction, like he didn't think that something might have gone wrong. But it didn't, though I didn't exactly do this out of the kindness of my heart, looking down at Draco I said simply said.
"Hear that, I saved you're life, I wonder if you'll end up owing me a debt" His pale face turned even more white as he listened to my words before suddenly scrambling up onto his feet and stomped away from me. I'm not sure if that did actually form a life-debt between us but I really wouldn't mind if it did, it would take him down a peg to owe his life to a muggleborn. And if one did form then that just means he won't be a problem to me later on.
"Welcome everyone to your first third year class of Defense against the Dark Arts" I don't really have to explain where I am, instead of focusing on that, I was instead looking at the door that held behind it a boggart. I didn't really know what to expect my greatest fear to be for me, I don't have that many things I'm scared of, spiders if I had to guess but that wasn't really fear in itself, it was closer to trauma really. In fact I'm a bit curious about what it would be.
Though I did note that Lupin was giving me a look every couple minutes as he explained what spell we would be using and the effects to combat the boggart. Though I noted that Blaise was looking at me in worry, I think it's because the spell Riddikulus used the casters thoughts of amusement on the creature to effect it. And what I find amusing is probably a bit disturbing for teenagers. Still, with that the boggart was released and shifted multiple times until it landed on a massive growling dog in front of a girl I think is named Pansy.
"Riddikulus!"
A nice frilly bow appeared on the dogs head before it turned into something else as the next person stepped up, this one was Crabbe, and I'll be honest, I was surprised as it turned into a carbon copy of me. I noted some whispers float around as the copy of me began to have a grin seem to rip open it's face from how large it was, it was a bit disturbing to look at as it was my face doing it.
"R-r-r-iddikulus!"
Nothing happened, I noted that Lupin seemed to sigh before calling out to the next person to go in front of it, this time it was Goyle, nothing changed, it was still the same fear as before. Huh, I put the fear of god into these fucks didn't I? Good for me. Though as I watched as he to failed the spell that Lupin was giving me a look again, and that's when I noted that I was so amused by this that a small grin had tugged on my face.
"Mr. Malo, you're next" Looking over towards him for a moment, I then turned and walked up to face the other version of myself and then it shifted, just a bit but not a lot. The height changed, the figure was now a little over six feet and had a good bit of stubble on his face but it was clear that we were the same person. I looked at him and he looked at me and then I laughed.
"That's a bit disappointing to be honest. Oh well, I guess it does make some sense. Riddikulus"
And with that the adult me shifted into a cowering Goyle who took a few steps backwards and ran into Draco who then quickly took a step back a it shifted once more back into me. Fucking hell, I wonder how many people are scared of me? I mean, counting myself that's four now, and judging from the look Lupin was giving me, this wasn't the first time I had popped up in his lesson it would seem.
Still, I wasn't all that interested in that to be honest, no, I was more interested in figuring out why I feared myself. It was clearly not this me, no he was an adult, so the author version of me then. Maybe it's a fear of going to far, because he is a representation of being all powerful in this world. Maybe I'm sacred of going to far, that this doesn't stop at me destroying Voldemort and landing a nice and fulfilling job as something mildly exciting.
That's an interesting thought but one that I think is a bit unfounded but then again fear can be unfounded, even though I have no plan on taking over the world doesn't mean I can't think about it happening, or how much I would have to change to do such a thing. Well then, this made me very introspective, I wonder if I should be worried about that, probably.
"Mr. Zabini" I blinked before looking over towards Blaise as he took a step forwards with a look in his eye that told me that he knew already what it was. As he stepped forwards in front of a laughing man that appeared to be a vampire in what appeared to be a tutu, I watched as it once again shifted into me, I frowned at that and was about to look over at Blaise when the Kyu stumbled forwards with a painful expression on his face before his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he slammed into the ground, dead with rips and tears showing blood pouring out of my exposed. scarred back. Now looking over at Blaise, I did frown as I looked at his gritted teeth before angrily, near shouting, casted out the spell.
"Riddikulus!"
And with that the Kyu stood back up and yawned before dusting himself off before a small smirk was pulled on his face as he spoke in a very familiar sounding teasing tone.
"Hah, I knew you cared, I'm certain you're mother would have something to say about that" Lupin walked forwards after that, while Blaise took a few steps back, and casted a spell that smashed into the boggart back into where it had came from and closed the door and locked it. I noted Blaise was shooting me than a few looks at the moment, I think he's both a bit messed up from what he saw and from what I saw my boggart turn into, he worries to much.
"Good all of you, I would have let you continue but I need this creature for my next class so I can't have it vanishing just yet. Five points to all of you that correctly cast the spell" And with that the bell suddenly rung as everyone seemed to really want to get out of the class, and I was about to follow when Lupin called out from behind me.
"Mr. Malo, would you mind staying for a moment?" I looked over at the man for a second before glancing at Blaise, who seemed to have recovered from the sight of my mangled corpse. Nodding to him to head on to the next class, he nodded back as he walked out of the room as I looked back at the Professor and waited for him to ask his question.
"Why is it that you've been the fear that seven students seem to have, Mr. Malo?" I wondered for a good couple second about how I should respond to that and after a couple more seconds I figured out what to say.
"I would quite like to know as well. I find it quite rude that I'm so many peoples biggest fear" He nodded at that before asking another question.
"Well why are you you're own fear then? As neither of us can speak on the behalf of others we might just never know the answer to that question but you can speak for yourself" I nodded at that, and seemed to act like I was thinking about it as I titled my head to the side before deciding to use this as a bit of free positive influence on another teacher, an important one in the future when he is no longer a teacher.
"I'm the smartest student in this school but I'm a not good person, not even a nice one really. I believe I'm worried that I might one day stop only being not good, and become something worse" He seemed to hum at that before after a moment said with a slight tremor in his voice.
"You don't want to become the monster you know you can be, I can understand that quite well Mr. Malo...You should hurry along to your next class then" Was it a bit cruel to use his curse as a werewolf to gain sympathy from him on something I wasn't completely lying about? Well yeah, but I'd rather not have him be on opposite sides then me, and this was a quick way to put in the same box as Dumbledore and Snape, that being those peoples view of me.
So with that I walked out of the classroom to get on my way to Transfiguration.
The aftermaths of the dementor effects being unpleasant for Kyu, I decided to make it like a panic attack which I have some first hand knowledge of. The time turner not exactly being his is possessions like he would have wanted but knows he can move around it if he has to. And as for the boggart, well I think Kyu explained it well enough. See ya.
