Well, here we are again… A lot later than I had hoped, since it's been a madhouse around here. I thank you for your patience! As always, feel free to leave a review, PM me if you don't want to publicly post something.
Jane had decided to stay in Hogsmeade the whole year. She had decided to take on the garden, planting had a rather calming effect on her. She had minimised her public events even more than before. Fudge would have to understand. Her boss did. With Sirius Black on the loose… Fudge didn't know just how much reason she had to fear him, but she'd said something about needing more time to adjust. She was reading up on plants she could plant in the garden, when she heard someone bursting through the door downstairs.
Alarmed, she looked up. She and Harry had agreed to restrict his visits to the bare minimum, as long as Black was on the loose. Neither of them was sure he was guilty, but why take a risk? The person ran upstairs noisily, and came bursting through the door.
"You're here…", Harry said vaguely. He was pale, his eyes were frantic and his hands were shaking.
She looked at the clock, realising with a start it was nearly midnight. "What on Earth happened?!"
"The ministry searched the train…", he said, trailing off with a distant look in his eyes.
"Ah, Fudge had a good thought!", she exclaimed excitedly. Honestly, what could be wrong with that? Though she did not like the look Harry gave her; it was his patented I-know-you-are-not-going-to-like-this-and-I-don't-know-how-to-tell-you-look. "Where the Aurors that bad?"
"Nooo…", he said, drawing the word out as if to win time, "They had Dementors do it."
She looked at him in disbelieve. "I believe I stand corrected.", she said faintly. It took her a few moments to wrap her head around it.
"Fudge has them guarding the school."
"How did you get out? *", Jane asked frowning. Having a chat with Dementors was a difficult task.
"Same as always. Asked your gift to show me the way to you. There is a tunnel until Zonko's, and then under the Invisibility Cloak."
She nodded. That was good thinking.
"I've got a… question.", he said slowly, not looking at her.
"Yes?"
"If you encounter a Dementor… You review your worst memories. Is it possible that you… remember more from that time?"
She pondered the question a while. "I'm not an expert… But I believe, if you are confronted with your past, you might remember something, yes. Should I ask someone?" Harry looked doubtful. "I'll not mention you.", she promised. He nodded, and she studied him a while. She wanted to ask why he had asked that, but she didn't dare do it now.
"I've got another question."
He sounded like he wasn't sure he wanted the answer now, but she waved him on.
"Do you keep books on the war in the library?"
A little surprised, she nodded. "I'm going to have a quick look."
"Well, that's why I have them, so that someone can read them.", she said, a little surprised. He had never shown interest, not apart from his parents or their friends. He knew the basics, of course, but more than knowing the causes of the war and the main parties had not been his interest.
Harry nodded. "I've got a third question."
She raised a brow. "Yes?" This was intriguing.
"Conjuring a Patronus… It is difficult, isn't it? Can someone lose the capability to produce one?"
"I'm not an expert on Patronus charm either, but that I do know. Yes, it is possible.", looking at him curiously. "Oh, I have news for you… Or actually, lack thereof. No lead on Remus Lupin, we keep looking."
"No need.", he responded evenly. "He's my new DADA professor."
And on that note, he left her for the library.
She stared into the fire, stunned. All those questions… What if Lupin had been on the Hogwarts Express, had chased the Dementor away? Had Harry just asked if it was possible that his DADA professor… Hadn't made use of an opportunity to kill him? Given the history of his DADA teachers, it was certainly a logical train of thought…
Perhaps after the Dementor had been chased away… he had remembered something about Lupin? But what could it possibly be, and why the sudden interest in the war? No, she decided. It didn't add up… She was missing a piece of the puzzle. Lost in thought, she kept staring into the fire.
It had barely been fifteen minutes when Harry re-emerged, saying he went back to Hogwarts. Any questions she had died on her lips, when seeing the distant look on his face. Now was definitely not the time, he needed space.
Jane was surprised when, for the second day in a row, someone came bursting through the door. She was shocked how bad Harry looked.
"Two days in a row! To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Hagrid's teaching COMC.", Harry started.
"I've heard. Dumbledore had no issues filing the paperwork proving he is capable, but his past… Well, it spoke against him. What electives did you take, aside from COMC?", she asked, wondering how she could've forgotten to ask that.
"Well… COMC and Arithmancy. I wanted to pick the same as Ron, but that's not how you should choose, I believe. I like maths, so… But that's not the point. Hagrid started with Hippogriffs."
"That's an exciting lesson… But since you said plural, perhaps too much to watch all at once. But I suppose, as a starting teacher, he is still learning." Noticing the look on Harry's face she added: "I don't think Hagrid meant any harm, and teaching requires thinking things through in a different way. It's only logical he needs time to adapt."
"Malfoy insulted it.", Harry said annoyed. "Hagrid warned us not to, but he did anyway. I want to help Hagrid."
"That's nice of you… I think I better don't get involved officially, but if you need unofficial help, I'm here. And so is my library."
Harry looked down. "Thank you, for not asking anything yesterday."
"Anytime.", she replied softly, walking off.
"Jane?"
"Yes?"
"When you went to Azkaban… Did you remember your parents?", he asked, not meeting her eye.
Walking back, she sat down beside him on the couch, where he had dropped in the middle of his explication. "Yes.", she said, looking down.
"I don't know what I remembered, but I think… I think it's… that night."
Jane looked at him, at loss. What could she possibly say?
"I'm sorry you had to go through that. But you won't have to face it again."
"I just wish… I wish I could remember them. I wish I could talk to them, even for five minutes."
"I know, Harry. I know. I feel the same. And I know this: wherever they are, they are proud of you. They love you."
They stayed silent. Jane sighed; happy Harry had spoken up after all. But looking at him, she saw there was something else. Eyeing at him questioningly, he sighed.
"Before the Hogwarts Express left… Mr. Weasley wanted to tell me about Sirius Black."
Jane nodded. She had met him on the Ministry, and he had indeed looked like an honest man. He was not the type to keep things like that from Harry - luckily.
"And then… He asked me not to go looking for Black. No matter what. He wanted me to promise it."
Jane frowned. "Have you made such an instable impression he thought you would chase a madman?"
"Well…"
"First and second year don't count, Harry. I agree we should have been more careful, but you did not go chase a Basilisk for fun. Neither did you go after the Stone for a challenge. You were seeking to protect those you love. While admirable, your strategy is not recommended. There's a whole difference between all that and hunting down someone who supposedly murdered 13 people!"
"But I don't understand – "
"Neither do I, Harry. We'll only find out if we continue investigating."
Harry nodded. Looking at the clock, he said he should head back. It was late at night, and they said their goodbyes.
On Halloween, after all the others had left for Hogsmeade (officially) Harry came again, looking distracted. It was almost becoming a habit, she thought gloomily.
They talked a bit, mostly about their dead parents. Jane talked a bit about the one time his parents had visited hers – specifically for this occasion, she had tried to remember as much as possible. This day, they had agreed, would not be a celebration of Voldemort's 'death', but about those who had given their lives in the war.
"Speaking about that… You know, First of September? After the Dementor… I… remembered a scene with Remus.", Harry said, trailing of.
"Yes?", she encouraged, noticing he had begun using the man's first name.
"He… You've got to promise to never tell anyone this, Jane.", looking older and more serious than she could ever remember him.
"I promise", she said curiously while locking eyes.
"He's a werewolf."
Jane stiffened visibly, her hearing fading out. She heard Harry talking, as if he was miles away…
"… Where fighting of a Boggart. I was next, and he placed himself between us. And I saw the Boggart changing into a full moon. And then it all made sense, I remembered he was sleeping so deep on the train, because that night would be the full moon, I looked that one up.** And then my memory made sense, my father was asking him if he made progress infiltrating, that's why I looked the war up, he was spying on the werewolves, largely on Voldemort's side… Jane? Jane! Are you all right?!"
"Right. Right. Fine." Breathe in, breathe out she reminded herself. Nice and slowly, count to five.
"You don't look like it.", Harry remarked dryly.
She looked down. "When I started to rebel against the Death Eaters keeping me… When they realised, I could call a shield… Whenever I had done something wrong, something big… They hit me first, looked me in the shed with the werewolves at full moon… They – they are not human anymore when they change, they smelled the blood and attacked and kept attacking… Later, when I was older, they took me and forced me to watch them attack children, to harden me… I recall one time, a girl was pleading for help, she was my age and I… I knew I would be punished most severely, and they were standing next to me. And I- I dropped the shield, I tried to let the girl run away, to force their attention on us but I couldn't hold it, I lost control and instinctively the shield was around us again and the girl – the girl was dead. I killed her, because I lost control they could – they could…"
"No. You were a child held hostage under gruesome circumstances. You can't blame yourself for losing control over something like that! You can blame the werewolves; you can blame the Death Eaters but it's not your fault. You hear me, Jane? Not your fault."
She looked down. Instinctively, she knew there was a truth in his words. She could not understand how Harry could stand being around her, but if someone truly so good believed in her, perhaps her perception had been wrong. Perhaps it wasn't her fault after all…
"There's something else."
Harry raised his eyebrows. She clearly did not want to talk about this one, but she forced herself on.
"Once, Henry was treating this young kid with a leg injury. And we talked… We became a bit of friends." Harry nodded, remembering the kid. They had not exchanged a word, but he had heard from Henry the kid had a lasting injury. "Until one day… We were talking about him, and Lara said something – and I realised he was a werewolf. And… my first reaction was disgust. I stopped talking to him… But then I overheard all the measures he insisted on to keep us safe, and I realised I had wronged him. I had assumed they were all monsters, but that's like saying the whole wizarding world is like Voldemort. So, I went to apologise… And when I saw how much it had hurt him, I swore I would never judge a book by its cover again, so to speak."
They remained silent for a while, then she smiled sadly and looked at him.
"Perhaps you're wondering why I'm telling you this. I'll explain: werewolves, in their wolf form, on full moon, are not to be reasoned with. The wolf takes over – but there's a potion nowadays that prevents that. Anyway, you have to remember that, except on that night once a month, werewolves are only humans. There are nasty ones, there are good ones. I sincerely hope professor Lupin is one of the last ones."
They sat in silence, until it was time for Harry to go back. Harry realised the potion he had seen Lupin drinking was probably the potion Jane was talking about, and he silently thought that it was kind of professor Snape to brew it for someone he clearly despised.
That same night, after he had left, her floo roared. Jane ran downstairs, instantly knowing this was bad news. She was just in time to see Patrick emerge, followed suit by Henry.
"What's going on?", she asked the former ambassador of Magical France.
She saw them exchanging a look.
"Why don't you sit down, dear?", Henry said, smiling weakly. But he was too distraught to really pull it off.
"I rather stand.", she said curtly. "Get on with it, will you?", she whispered.
"Sirius Black broke into Hogwarts.", Patrick said. Seeing her questioning gaze, he added: "A source at the Ministry reported it. Apparently, Fudge is in a bad mood because Dumbledore doesn't let his guards in, but- "
"Any casualties?", she asked sharply, unable to keep the question in for any longer.
"No.", Patrick replied evenly.
Frowning, she asked: "Why are you here, then?", looking at Henry.
"I didn't want you to hear it alone. I wanted to be there for you, now Harry can't come."
She nodded. "Any word from him?"
"Not yet.", Henry replied, "but possibly he just can't sneak off right now."
That was probably the case, she realised.
"Hey Patrick- you said they didn't allow Fudge's guards in, does that mean he changed the Dementors into Aurors?"
"What Dementors?!", both men asked, equally surprised.
"Well, Fudge had the marvellous idea to have them search the train."
Both men stared at her in shock.
Harry managed to send her an owl, saying he was okay and had been at the feast when Black had broken in. She sighed, rereading his messages again:
Dear J,
I'm sorry to simply have to write to you. It seems, the castle either counts more teachers than ever, who are taking my route more than ever; either they follow me. And not only the teachers, but some Gryffindors, too. In that light...
First and foremost: no one was harmed. We all were at the feast. The portrait guarding the entrance was attacked, but it is strange. I could not see it very well, but it's not beyond repair. I was thinking, perhaps the portrait was not attacked to destroy it, but to make the Fat Lady run, so she could not tell where he went. Or maybe I'm reading too much in it.
On the night of the attack, I overheard professor Snape saying he didn't trust someone new. As I see it, the candidates for that role are limited. I wonder whether professor Snape suspects Lupin of more than one Halloween incident, namely the attack on my parents. But why he didn't come forward, is beyond me. Perhaps I'm reading too much in that either.
Hoping you are well,
HJP
Underneath that, there were more letters. One from Hermione, who had found out about professor Lupin's condition, and one from Harry, about his Quidditch match tomorrow. He had also noted that professor Snape had tried to out professor Lupin, given the fact he had taught about werewolves.
She sighed, stumbling to a chair. So many question, so little leads… It was going to be one hell of a year.
* I forgot to clear that one up, should have done that in first year… Sorry about that.
** Yes, I'm such a nut that I actually looked that one up.
