Ozai crawled out from beneath a pile of burning banana peels and the rubble of the liberated gulag. All around him was chaos, and it crossed his mind that his country needed him again to set it back on its course to greatness, but all he could think of at that moment was finding Steve and making sure that he was okay.

"What's up, dude, I've been looking for you," a voice said from behind him.

"Who are you?" he rasped, spitting out gravel, half a banana, a My Little Pony doll, and a family of live frogs.

"Sokka's the name," the boy said jauntily, and Ozai turned around to get a look at him. What was this foreign peasant doing talking to him? "And I've come to make you a proposal."

"I don't need help from subhuman scum such as yourself," he scoffed. "What even are you? Water Tribe or something?"

Sokka rolled his eyes. "Look, I don't like you guys either, but I can help you get back into power. It's sucked with all these commies running everything, but I've got an army of Water Tribe guys who are ready to stage a coup. Normally I would advocate for genocide of all firebenders, except we just don't have the resources with all these godless anarchists going around destroying everything. So that's where you come back in."

"I don't need your help to take back my rightful place on the throne." Ozai stood up and brushed himself off. Several chickens and a tampon fell out of his hair, and he started crying at the thought of women's natural biological processes.

"Oh, but you do. And once you have it, we're gonna make another deal. You run your country however you want, but you leave the Water Tribe alone." Sokka jabbed him in the chest to emphasize his point.

"But the Fire Nation is superior to all others, and I must spread our greatness!" Ozai cried.

"But just think about the cultural exchange that's going on! Even coming into contact with other nations would taint the purity of the Fire Nation! Don't you want to preserve your country's traditions? I know I want to. And just think about…" It hurt him just to say it. He whispered, "Think about the interbreeding between firebenders and everyone else."

Sokka and Ozai both shuddered at the thought of a mixed-race baby. Meanwhile, back on the super-yacht, Zuko and Katara were having violent hate sex.

"You're so right," Ozai breathed in awe. "I mean, interbreeding is basically genocide. I know! I should just kill all other races instead of having colonies."

"No, no, no," Sokka tried to convince him. "I leave you alone, you leave me alone. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, right?"

"Aren't you best friends with people of other races? Those Earth Kingdom girls? And the avatar?" Ozai asked.

"Oh, they're exceptions to the rule of other races generally being made up of uncivilized demons," Sokka explained.

"Other races are such uncivilized demons. That's what I've been trying to say my whole life!"

"Don't get me started on the foggy swamp tribe. Those guys are disgusting! Bleh!" He mimed gagging.

"And they control all the media."

"It's a conspiracy, I'm telling you!"

Sokka seated himself on a heap of rubble across from Ozai, and moment of silence came between them. They regarded each other with mutual respect.

"So, are you in?" Sokka asked. "We can literally never talk again after the coup goes down… even though I feel like there's the beginning of a bond right here. Like, maybe a friendship that I could really treasure, but I'll never know because I fear and hate what is different from me."

"I'm in," Ozai agreed. "Just one thing. Could you help me find my gay lover Steve? I've been looking for him since the prison—"

"Your gay lover!?" Sokka exploded, cutting him off. "You degenerate! Ugh, I knew firebenders were freaks! The deal's off!"

As Sokka stormed away, Ozai muttered slurs under his breath. He should've known to never trust someone from the Water Tribe.