Roy

Roy carried Fullmetal out of the building himself.

The reasons why were several. Firstly, it must be said that he carried Fullmetal because the kid couldn't walk. Sure, he tried to protest, but there's only so much protesting to be done when you're half-conscious and covered in blood. For someone who claimed he was careful and avoided trouble at all costs, the Fullmetal Alchemist sure ended up like that a lot. Usually, though, it was Al who picked up the pieces.

Which came to the second reason this situation had come about: Al was not there. Once Fullmetal's disappearance had become known - or, rather, once Roy had been convinced Fullmetal was actually missing instead of slacking off - he'd organized a search. The team Al was on, which consisted of him, Hawkeye, Falman, and Fuery, was still on the other side of Central City. Roy, Havoc, and Breda had been the ones to find Fullmetal.

Roy had made short work of the piece of shit kidnappers once they'd gotten in. He'd left them alive - unfortunately, they needed to be so for interrogation - but he'd at least been able to make them suffer. As he glanced down at the child in his arms, he regretted not making them suffer more.

It was strange sometimes - most times - being around Fullmetal. He acted both five years old and one hundred. When Roy talked to him, he never knew which side he would get. Sometimes Fullmetal would waltz into his office, slam the door, stick his dirty boots on Roy's furniture, and throw a tantrum a three-year-old would be proud of. Then Roy would mention chimeras or philosopher's stones or human transmutation and the child would vanish, an old man taking his place.

Roy had seen the old man a lot recently. A few days after Fullmetal had won that bet on that night two months ago (which Roy was still doing his best to block out of his memory), he'd withdrawn into himself. Roy had no idea why. Fullmetal was always that way, though: two steps forward, one and a half steps back. Every time Roy thought they'd reached an understanding, the kid would retreat, withdraw, and things would be awkward and tense for a few weeks until he broke out of whatever idiocy he'd thought up and things went back to normal.

It was...irritating. Not that Roy put a lot of thought into it - not that he cared, of course - but as stressful as Roy's job was with its endless political posturing, it would've been nice to have something go right for once.

Clearly, looking at Fullmetal's prone figure, it hadn't.

In a way, Roy had seen the kidnapping coming from a half-mile away. It wasn't that he'd known Fullmetal would be kidnapped. If he had, he'd have personally found the kidnappers and charbroiled them. But there had been something off about Fullmetal for months. He was quieter, more subdued, his eyes still burning but the fire flickering instead of roaring. It was worst when he was with Al, which had been the most alarming part. Normally Al was the only one who could help him.

Looking at that, Roy had known in the back of his mind that it was only a matter of time before something gave. Either Fullmetal would pull himself out of his funk and shape up, or he'd slip and pay the consequences of that error. Unfortunately, it seemed like it was the latter.

Roy exited the now-abandoned edifice into the dreary light of twilight and a dim, filthy alleyway. Fullmetal weighed heavy in his arms, but even if he'd wanted to pass the burden to someone else, he couldn't have. Breda and Havoc were busy with the four men who'd kidnapped Fullmetal, and Hawkeye's team hadn't caught up yet.

"Breda, call for med-evac," Roy said. "We need to get Fullmetal to a hospital. And confirm our position with Hawkeye."

"No hospital," came a muffled voice.

Of course. Roy couldn't have even one thing go right, could he?

"Fullmetal," Roy said, "don't even start. You've been held hostage for three days, you're barely conscious, and you're bleeding. If you think you can just sleep this off, your IQ must be even lower than I thought."

Fullmetal was frowning. Roy noted it wasn't his usual obstinate frown - like everything else, it was more subdued. His voice was quiet when he spoke, like he was trying not to be overheard by the six men a few feet away. Given the state of the four kidnappers, he probably shouldn't have been too worried.

"I don't like hospitals. Needles. Scare me."

Roy drew back in surprise, or did the best he could while holding the kid. Fullmetal, admitting he was scared of something? What the hell, had his kidnappers drugged him?

That thought spurred him to action. He set Fullmetal down on the ground and crossed the distance between himself and the criminals in a half-second. He roughly grabbed the bound leader.

"What the hell did you give him?"

"Nothing!"

Roy's eyes narrowed in fury. He shook the man, knowing the motion would aggravate his burns. "Don't test me. I've had a very bad day. I am one second away from showing you exactly how painful third-degree burns are."

"Alright, alright!" The threat turned him into a babbling coward instantly. "He wasn't talking, so we thought we'd give him something to loosen his tongue, is all. It won't hurt him, I swear!"

"What did you give him."

The man didn't immediately answer. Losing patience, Roy snapped. The resulting scream made him roll his eyes.

"Colonel, sir," Havoc said, "was that wise?"

"Oh, give me a break. I barely touched him." Roy turned back to the man. "Are you ready to talk yet, or do you need more encouragement?"

"CODA-38, okay? That's it! We didn't give him anything bad, I promise!"

"You gave him CODA-38?" Breda asked, looking horrified. "How is that not something bad? How much did you give him!?"

"I don't know, 20 milligrams, maybe?"

Breda swore. "20 milligrams is enough for a grown man, you idiot! Did you forget the kid doesn't have two of his limbs?"

The man didn't respond, looking away fearfully. Roy looked between Breda and the captive, a frown creasing his lips. He had no idea what CODA-38 was, but given Breda's reaction and Ed's current condition, it didn't sound good.

"Breda, what is CODA-38?" Roy asked.

Breda turned worried eyes towards Ed's figure, slumped on the pavement. Ed's eyes were still open, which was good - with his head injury, it was imperative he stay awake. In hindsight, it probably hadn't been a good idea for Roy to leave him on the dirty ground of the alley unattended.

"It's an experimental drug that was first developed a couple of years ago. It's from the same family as some of the more popular sedatives used in the medical field, but tweaked to have different effects from a normal sedative. It's supposed to put the subject in a calm, relaxed state of mind, similar to a mild sedative except that it goes further. It renders the subject more agreeable to questioning, more vulnerable, and more cooperative. It's the closest thing ever developed to a truth serum."

Roy took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. "Any side effects?"

"Other than the ones I just mentioned, not that I know of. But as much as he's been dosed with...he'll be out of it for quite a while, Colonel. He'll probably say or do things he wouldn't normally do. It'd be ideal if we could leave him alone until it wears off, but with his injuries, that's impossible."

"Leave him alone? Why?" Roy asked, although he had a bad feeling he knew why.

"Like I said, it's the closest thing we have to truth serum. It's similar to if he'd gotten himself drunk: his inhibitions are lowered, he'll be more emotional than usual. He's still capable of lying, of course, but he'll want to tell the truth, unless he has a good reason not to."

Roy looked down at Fullmetal and held back a frustrated groan. Of course. Of course the kid would get himself dosed up on honest-to-god truth serum. Of course he'd be injured, so Roy couldn't leave him alone. Of course Al would still be over twenty minutes away. This was just Roy's life, now that he'd gotten himself mixed up with the Fullmetal Alchemist.

He gave a long, long sigh. "Alright. Call for a med-team; I don't care what Fullmetal says, he has clear head trauma and he's been drugged. And call Hawkeye. We need Al here as soon as possible."

"Understood."

Giving the lead kidnapper one last glare, Roy strode back over to Fullmetal. He stood over the prone figure for a moment to prepare himself. Alright, so he needed to check out that head wound, check for any other injuries, and keep the kid conscious until the med team got there. That was all. It would be fine.

He told himself not to worry. Fullmetal would hardly try and open up to him.

He nodded to himself. Yeah, what was he worrying about? Fullmetal would never in a million years say anything remotely personal to him. He'd be fine.

With that, Roy knelt down next to Fullmetal. "Fullmetal, are you with me?"

An incoherent groan met his ears.

"I said, are you with me? You should know I don't accept responses like that."

"...off."

"What?"

"Fuck off, bastard," came a weak, slurred voice.

Roy felt a rush of relief. That was definitely Fullmetal. Seems the drug hadn't affected him as much as Roy had thought it would.

"Unfortunately for both of us, I can't do that. You're bleeding pretty heavily from your head. I've stemmed the bleeding somewhat, but I wouldn't be surprised if you had a concussion on top of everything else."

"...drugged me," Fullmetal said lowly. "Tried to resist, but...couldn't. Needle."

"It's alright," Roy said, not sure why he said it. "They gave you more than they should've, but it'll wear off soon. I need to check the extent of your injuries, though."

Fullmetal gave a weak scoff and moved to sit up. He swayed as he did so. Roy instinctively reached out to steady him. As soon as he did, he inwardly cursed himself. Fullmetal historically threw fits whenever anyone but Al tried to touch him.

He leaned into Roy's touch.

A strange feeling settled into Roy's stomach. He paused for a moment to dispel whatever emotional nonsense had come up because of that and drew back his hand.

Now that Fullmetal was sitting up, Roy could see that he'd been right to stem the blood coming from the wound on the back of Ed's head. It seemed to be where most, if not all, of the blood was coming from. The blood had matted his hair together and fallen down onto his clothes like rain.

"What happened to your head?"

Fullmetal blinked, like it had taken a second for the words to process. He was definitely concussed. Great.

"I tried to escape, obviously. They weren't happy." Fullmetal turned his head enough to glare at the four captives. "If they hadn't done that, I'd've escaped in thirty minutes. Idiots."

Roy smiled a little, amused as he always was at the kid's mannerisms and for once not caring to hide it. It wasn't like Fullmetal was cognizant enough to notice.

Then the kid turned to Roy and his face shifted into an expression Roy couldn't identify. "It's not like I normally would've gotten caught by them," he said. "They just caught me off-guard. It'd been a long day, okay?"

Roy looked at him for a second. Of course he'd known that; no normal kidnappers would be able to catch Fullmetal unless he were already off his game. He wasn't sure why the kid found the need to tell him that, much less found the need to justify himself for it.

"I'm sure it had been," he said. He tried to be soothing but doubted it worked.

"I was tired," Fullmetal said, continuing on, "'cause, obviously, sleep. And I hadn't eaten 'cause...Al, you know. And my automail's been needing a repair for awhile but I didn't want to go because Winry. You know?"

No, Roy did not know. He didn't know about anything Fullmetal was spewing in his half-conscious, fully-drugged state. And damn him, he wanted to, but twice damn him, he shouldn't, because Fullmetal wasn't even aware of what he was saying. If Roy asked, he'd be taking advantage.

"Yes, Fullmetal, I know. Why don't you lay back down and...list the periodic table, or something."

Fullmetal ignored him, because Fullmetal had never once listened to anything Roy had ever said. He just kept going. "I took a walk. Al didn't stop me - he wasn't there like he normally is. Makes me feel safe. But he wasn't there...I guess that's why they took me. I wasn't safe anymore."

Roy needed to change the subject. Fullmetal was going to kill him tomorrow when he woke up and realized what he'd said to Roy. Roy shoved down his traitorous curiosity and even more traitorous worry and said, "Al's going to be here soon, and then you'll be safe again."

Fullmetal hummed. Roy hesitated, unsure if he should ask, then said slowly, "Fullmetal...you know what they drugged you with, right?"

He nodded, then blinked a few times as though just realizing what he'd said. He lifted a hand to scratch at his face awkwardly. "Um, yeah. CODA-38, they called it. Said it's like truth serum?"

Roy nodded.

"They thought it'd make me tell them stuff. Morons. Don't think it worked at all. They didn't think so, at least."

That was odd. It was definitely working right now, Roy knew; there was no way a simple concussion was making Fullmetal this free with information he'd kept private for years. What was making it work now, versus back then?

Abruptly, Roy remembered what Breda had said. The drug didn't force truth out; it simply made its user more agreeable to giving it. Fullmetal would never want to give his kidnappers information, so the drug hadn't affected him then. But when faced with people he knew...

Roy swallowed. Shit. This was bad.

"Well, uh, I think it's working now. Don't take this the wrong way, Fullmetal, but you're...saying more than you usually would. I don't want you to say anything you'll regret tomorrow."

Fullmetal considered that for a moment, analyzing Roy with eyes so sharp Roy had a hard time believing he was drugged at all. Finally, he concluded, "I don't care. I'm safe with you."

For a moment Roy thought someone had punched him. He lost all train of thought; then, the only thought that came to him was Fullmetal's going to murder me tomorrow. He stared at Fullmetal with eyes far too wide and panicked.

His panic must've gotten to Fullmetal, because the kid's eyes mirrored Roy's once Ed's concussed brain had caught up with what he'd just said. Ed visibly swallowed, but the drug must've won over, as he said slowly, "I am...right?"

And dammit. There was really only one answer to that.

"You are."

It was a lie, Roy knew, as soon as he spoke it. Not his words' intention, but the actuality of their respective positions. Roy was a Colonel, the Hero of Ishval, and Fullmetal's superior. He had already endangered Fullmetal by bringing him into the same military that had committed near-genocide on a nation of people. He continued to endanger him with every mission he gave him. Roy's countermeasures of cherry-picking missions and readying back-up were nothing more than token measures, designed to alleviate Roy's guilt.

Attempting to alleviate his guilt was a specialty of his, after all.

But Roy also knew that he could not have said anything else because that would have been an even worse lie. He suddenly wished Fullmetal had asked a different question: not if he were safe with Roy, but if Roy wanted him to be. That one Roy could have answered without lying.

Unaware of Roy's internal monologue, Fullmetal had settled back down on the pavement. "Good."

Roy snapped out of himself and remembered what he was supposed to be doing: checking over Fullmetal to see if there were any injuries he'd missed. He started to look the kid over, before realizing something. Fullmetal was on the equivalent of truth serum. For once, Roy could just...ask.

This was the only good thing to have come out of this day. Roy was sure of it.

"Fullmetal, are you injured anywhere?"

Fullmetal gave him an irked look. "My head, idiot."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Obviously. I can see the blood from here. I meant anywhere else."

"Ye- nope."

Remembering that Breda had said the drug didn't necessarily stop one from lying, Roy gave Fullmetal a suspicious look. "Are you lying to me?"

"Lying? Me?" Fullmetal asked innocently. "'M on truth serum."

"That sounds exactly like something a liar would say."

Fullmetal frowned at him. Roy stared back. It took less than two seconds for Fullmetal to cave - something Roy would be celebrating for weeks to come. "They knocked up my ribs some when I wouldn't tell them anything. I don't think anything's broken, though. Just bruised."

Roy looked at him for a few seconds longer, apparently long enough for Fullmetal to get annoyed and snap, "What?"

Roy smirked. "That's the quickest I've ever gotten an honest answer out of you. We need to give this stuff to you more often, Fullmetal."

Fullmetal didn't snap or yell or scream in response like Roy had been expecting him to - of course not, because the kid lived to make Roy's life difficult. Instead, his expression shrank and his shoulders lowered. Worst of all, he didn't respond.

Roy furrowed his brow, thinking back over his previous words and trying to realize what he'd said to garner such a response, but came up blank. He'd just opened his mouth to ask Fullmetal what had happened when he finally spoke.

"'S not like I try to be difficult," Fullmetal said.

His eyes - startlingly gold, and even more startlingly bloodshot - stared up at Roy with an expression that was hard to decipher. It wasn't quite angry, nor was it sad. It seemed more complicated than that: a little melancholic, a little frustrated, a tad bit guilty.

After a few seconds' silence wherein Roy tried to find something to say and came up blank, Fullmetal seemed to reconsider.

"'Kay, maybe that's not true," he admitted. His words were still slurring slightly; Roy had become certain he was concussed. "I piss you off on purpose lots. 'S funny, and you deserve it for bein'...a bastard."

Roy wondered when Fullmetal had started saying that word differently, less a curse and more...fondly. An endearment.

"But...I..." Fullmetal hesitated, seeming to struggle between the truth the drug was trying to force out and the lie he wanted to keep.

Roy set a hand on his shoulder, once more not thinking about his actions until it was too late. Yet, once more, Fullmetal did not react in any way other than mild acceptance.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to," Roy told him quietly. "You're not yourself right now. I don't want you to wake up tomorrow and have regrets."

In the privacy of his own head, Roy would admit to having a selfish stake in that. He didn't want Fullmetal to regret talking and pull away once more. Three times of that - after the riot, after the cave, after the bar - had been enough. He was tired of Fullmetal's inconstancy, of constantly having to readjust and reread his subordinate's every action to decide how to proceed without damaging things further. More than that, he was tired of Fullmetal's distance.

"No, I-I need to say this." Fullmetal took a breath. "'Member back, like, four months ago, right after Al and I came back from that mission in South, and you got mad 'bout the way we handled things there?"

Oh, did Roy remember. The two boys had gotten into a fight with a rogue alchemist and destroyed several city blocks in the process. Roy's personal favorite part was the moment when the alchemist had disabled Al and Fullmetal had jumped right in front of his brother to save him, getting his automail arm torn clean off in the process. They'd somehow managed to defeat her in the end, but the report had practically sent everyone on Mustang's team into cardiac arrest. Fullmetal had been as unrepentant as always, much to Al's chagrin.

"I find it hard to forget."

Fullmetal laughed nervously. It was probably the first time Roy had ever heard him sound nervous. It made him distinctly uncomfortable. and he was reminded once more of the sheer wrongness of this entire situation. Roy couldn't shake the feeling that he was taking advantage of Fullmetal simply by being there.

Roy considered switching roles with Breda or Havoc for an instant before dismissing the idea. Surely Fullmetal would feel even worse tomorrow after revealing all this to people who had never seen him at his worst, ten years old, degraded into a wheelchair and guilty?

Or, the thought came to him, maybe Fullmetal wouldn't even say these things to them in the first place. What if he only said these things because of Roy?

Roy forced that thought back into its rightful place of nonexistence. This was not the right time to be entertaining such hopes.

"And you remember," Fullmetal was saying, "that time you lectured Al for not taking care of himself and I, um..."

"...went berserk and yelled at me for five minutes straight about minding my business?" Roy questioned. "Of course. Do you have a point in bringing up all of our worst arguments, or...?"

"And...you know when you..." Fullmetal had fully changed from old man to small child in that moment. He looked even tinier than his small frame suggested, and utterly fragile.

Roy decided that was enough. "Spit it out now, Fullmetal, or you're never going to say it."

Fullmetal jumped a little at the abruptness of Roy's words, but he no longer seemed so fragile. Roy counted it was a win. "Oh, shut up! I'm trying to say something here!"

"Then say it! I'm not going to wait around all day!"

Fullmetal glared at him, but Roy only noted with relief that his intervention, as unconventional as it had been, seemed to have done the trick. Fullmetal looked steadier now, not quite so nervous.

"Should be grateful 'm trying to say this, bastard," Fullmetal muttered sulkily. "'S not like it's easy for me! Least you could do would be to shut up for a minute."

Roy smirked. "I'll shut up now, if you'd like."

Fullmetal glared at him. Then he seemed to remember what he'd been about to say and the nerves returned full-force.

So much for being overdosed on truth serum.

The thought gave Roy pause. If Fullmetal was this apprehensive about telling him something while on more than a full dose of CODA-38, exactly how apprehensive would he have been without it? It was fully possible that Fullmetal wouldn't even have considered saying this without the drug. Roy wasn't sure if that made him feel better, knowing that he was lucky enough to hear it now, or worse, knowing that what he was about to hear was so personal.

Roy sighed. If dissuading Fullmetal from talking hadn't worked, and irritating him wasn't going to work either, maybe Roy needed to try a different approach. Lord knew he was terrible at comforting people, but he'd have to give it a shot.

His hand was still on Fullmetal's shoulder, astonishingly. Roy took the opportunity to squeeze his shoulder. That was something people did, right?

"I hope you know that, whatever you're going to say, it doesn't really matter."

Fullmetal gaped at him. "What the hell do you mean, it doesn't really matter!?"

"I mean this." Roy looked Fullmetal in the eyes. "Whatever you say, it doesn't matter because I will not think any less of you for saying it. You listened to all the worst things I've done and you still chose to comfort me. You still chose not to condemn me like so many other people have. I would be the worst kind of human if I judged you for anything you said to me."

"Oh." Fullmetal's voice was small. Again he looked a child. "I...okay. Well. I brought those up because...well, you know I get angry a lot. Sometimes it just kinda happens and I don't really know why, I'm just...angry. Sometimes it feels like it gets out of my control so quickly, I can't stop it."

Roy nodded to tell Fullmetal he could go on.

"'Cept I know why I got so mad those times. It was the same reason I got mad when we were in that cave together."

Now that was a surprise. Roy tried to remember exactly what had happened when they'd been in that cave, exactly what had made Fullmetal so angry that he'd snapped and said he hated Roy. Roy thought he remembered teasing him, and quite a lot, but that was normal. Fullmetal usually took that in stride.

"Oh, I see," Roy said softly, realizing. He hadn't just been teasing Fullmetal. He'd been teasing him about caring about Roy.

Looking up, he saw Fullmetal had turned away, the tips of his ears red.

There was a short silence wherein Fullmetal made no move to continue the conversation. He'd clearly realized that Roy had realized and was in no mood to keep talking. Roy swung his jaw and decided to take a calculated risk.

"Ed?"

Roy was fully aware that this time he had no excuse for calling Fullmetal by his name. The other times he could play off as necessity - calling him by his full name during the riot - or surprise - screaming it in horror when Ed had torn open his wound. This time he had neither. This had the potential to backfire on him horrifically, but as Roy had already said, this risk had been calculated. Colonel Roy Mustang's calculations paid off.

Ed turned to face him. His eyes were wider than normal and vulnerable, his pupils dilated past their usual size - either from the concussion or the drug, Roy didn't know. Ed went to speak-

"Brother! You're safe!"

A hulking suit of armor landed on the pavement next to Roy and Ed. The next instant, Al had scooped his brother up in his arms.

Roy stood and backed up, not sure if he should leave the brothers to their reunion or not.

He wouldn't deny that Al's interruption frustrated him. Just when he'd thought he was getting somewhere with Ed...Ed would more than likely go back to ignoring Roy the very next day. Roy dreaded, hated the prospect.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been!?" Al was asking Ed. "You were gone for days!"

"I know, Al," Ed said, sounding irritated and looking guilty. He shoved Al off him and turned away from him and towards Roy. "Okay? I was careless, I let them catch me, it's all my fault, I get it."

"What?" Al sounded utterly bewildered. "That's not what I-"

"Look, Al," Ed said, quieter now, "You...you know I love you, right?"

"Of - of course I do, Brother. What - what's going on? You're not acting like yourself."

And that was when Roy decided to intervene. Hawkeye and the rest of his team were dealing with Ed's kidnappers, hauling them off to be interrogated. The med team would be there soon. Ed had decided to open up to Roy. Whether by random luck of the draw or Ed's actual decision, Roy didn't know, but it was up to him to resolve the situation, or at least to update Al on it.

"Alphonse," Roy said, bringing the boy's attention over to him. "Fullmetal has shown signs of having a concussion. His kidnappers also confessed to drugging him with an experimental drug known as CODA-38, which has been shown to induce a heightened emotional state, increased cooperation, and elevated honesty."

Al stared at him for a moment before his soulfire eyes somehow darkened. "So, a truth serum."

Roy was not surprised that Al had figured that out. "It's similar, yes. Ed can still lie - he just did five minutes ago actually, when telling me he wasn't injured-" Roy broke off to glare at Ed, "-but he's less likely to, at least."

Al nodded, turning back to Ed. He set a hand on Ed's shoulder exactly how Roy had.

Ed flinched, gave a deep, violent shudder, and threw Al's hand off.

Al moved back and stared at his brother for a few seconds in utter silence. Roy wasn't good at reading the body language of a suit of armor, but Al looked wounded. "Brother?"

"Don't touch me," Ed said quietly, with an undercurrent of something violent and despairing. "It's wrong."

Roy got the uncomfortable impression that he should not be here. He looked around for an escape and found none. The rest of his team had left, taking Ed's kidnappers with them. The med team was still out of sight.

"Brother, I don't understand," Al said. "What's wrong?"

"This," Ed said, pointing at Al. "You! Everything about you Al, it's wrong! And it's all my fault!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean, Ed! How am I wrong? How-"

"Everything!" Ed cried again. His eyes were shining with tears. Roy realized with growing horror that he might be about to cry. "Al, how can't you see it? Your hands - they aren't your hands anymore. You can't even feel the things you touch! You can't sense how cold it is or smell how awful this fucking alleyway smells. You haven't slept in years, and I bet you haven't even rested since I went missing."

Al's eyes had gone sad. "Brother..."

"And you call me that!" Ed hissed. "Brother, like I've ever been a good brother to you. I DID THIS TO YOU! I'm not your brother, Al, and I haven't been since Mom died. I-"

"That's enough, Fullmetal," Roy said. He knelt down in front of Ed, separating the two brothers, and took Ed's trembling hands in his own. "The med team is coming soon and we both know you don't want them to hear this."

Ed looked down at their hands for a moment as though he'd never seen such a thing before. As an orphaned fifteen-year-old ward of the state, Ed probably hadn't. Then he took his hands from Roy's.

"What do you care, bastard?"

Roy was all too aware of Al's presence less than a foot away, watching them intently. He knew that messing this up would result in a grudge Al would hold against him for the rest of his possibly much-shortened lifespan.

"You already know if and why I care, Ed," Roy said, pointedly emphasizing the name. "Now stand up, man up, and stop hurting your brother."

Ed looked for a moment like he would rebel, but as Roy said his last words, his expression changed. His eyes flicked behind Roy to Al. He nodded slowly and let out an almost inaudible, "Okay."

Roy stepped to the side, both to allow Ed to stand up and to give him access to Al once more. But Ed turned away from his brother and, thus, towards Roy. The look on his face was nothing short of shame with a healthy dose of guilt. It was a look Roy was intimately familiar with.

"How long'd you say?" Ed asked him quietly. He swayed on his feet, but Roy didn't want to risk Ed's response if Roy steadied him. From the way Al stayed back, Al didn't want to risk it either. "For the med team."

"Any minute now." Roy paused, then added, "I expect you to behave."

Ed shuffled his feet and blew out a breath. "Fine, whatever. Stupid fucking needles."

It was the third, possibly fourth time Ed had mentioned needles that day. Roy thought that was a few times too many.

Before he could question Ed on that, a military ambulance pulled up into the alley and a duo of paramedics slipped out. Roy left Ed to the paramedics and approached Al instead. He lingered uncertainly next to the boy for a bit, wondering what to say, when Al beat him to it.

"Thank you, Colonel."

Roy fidgeted. That wasn't what he'd been expecting. "Uh, for what?"

He got the brief impression that Al was amused by his less than Colonel-ly words before Al sobered. "For finding him. And for...putting up with him. If he was anything like how he was with me, I...well, I think I should apologize to you for him."

Roy grimaced. He didn't think it'd be a good idea to tell Al that Ed had been nicer to him than he'd ever been before, so he opted for a simple, "Thank you, but it's unnecessary. I've dealt with Fullmetal for this long; I know what he's like."

Another flash of amusement from Al. Roy thought he heard Al mutter, "Oh, so he's still Fullmetal for everyone else?" but it wasn't quite clear enough for Roy to call him out on it.

The two of them were silent for a moment. The paramedics were still talking to Ed, probably trying to ascertain his mental state. Breda would've briefed them on Ed's kidnapping already, so they would know about the drug.

"You know that Fullmetal didn't really mean what he said," Roy said finally.

Al looked at him. "He's on truth serum, Colonel," he said flatly. "He meant every word."

"The drug doesn't stop one from lying. And also, it heightens the emotional state of the user," Roy said. "He might have meant it at the time, but he won't when he wakes up and remembers what he said. It's like listening to a drunkard - you can't take the dumbass shit they say to heart. Oh, um...sorry. The stupid stuff they say."

Al giggled. The sound seized Roy with the knowledge that there was a fourteen-year-old boy in that armor, not a hulking man like the armor suggested. "I'm not a child, Colonel. I can take a little bit of swearing. I've heard worse from Ed, after all."

"Yes, and I distinctly remember you telling him off every time."

"But that's because he's Ed, sir," Al said.

Roy had to admit that Al had a good point there. "But seriously, kid, I've never met anyone who cares for their brother more than Ed does for you. You mean everything to him."

Al looked back towards the ambulance. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "I know. That's why it hurts so much, hearing him say those things. Hearing him say all this is his fault."

The paramedics had somehow loaded Ed into the ambulance. Roy silently marveled; he hadn't heard a single complaint from Ed. They truly did need to give this stuff to him more often. Just, maybe without the part where Ed revealed the entirety of his fucked-up psyche to a completely unprepared Roy. And emotionally scarred his brother.

"Brother's in the ambulance now," Al said. "Come on, Colonel."

Roy automatically started forward with Al. It wasn't until he was right outside the vehicle that he paused and realized what he was about to do. "Alphonse, I don't think Fullmetal will appreciate me being in the ambulance with him."

"Well," Al said huffily, "he definitely won't appreciate me being in there, so he'll just have to deal."

With that, Al stomped into the vehicle and hunkered down in a corner directly above Ed's head. Roy hesitated, swallowed, and followed. The paramedics looked up, frowned, but said nothing, their eyes zeroing in on Roy's stars. If his rank was the only thing stopping them from kicking him out, Roy thought, he'd take it.

The drive to the military hospital was surprisingly - welcomingly - quiet. The paramedic who wasn't driving the ambulance bustled about Ed, adjusting an IV that Ed periodically glared at but didn't attempt to pull out.

They pulled up to the hospital and wheeled Ed out and into the building and the waiting hands of several more doctors and nurses. Roy followed, Al clanking alongside him. A nurse stopped them before they could follow Ed all the way in.

"We're sorry, but we're only allowing direct relations of the patient back. I'll have to ask you to remain in the waiting area until he's ready for visitation."

Roy silently cursed the hospital's visitation policies, and not for the first time - that time Hughes had gotten injured had been a nightmare. He was about to turn away when Al spoke.

"I'm Ed's brother, and the Colonel is his legal guardian. We're allowed to be back there!"

The nurse stiffened in surprise, looking over Roy again. Roy saw the moment the man put the pieces together and realized one, the identity of the patient they'd just admitted, and two, the identity of his commanding officer.

The one good thing about a military state: Roy could pull rank pretty much anywhere.

"Of course. My apologies, sirs. Right this way."

Roy and Al followed him back. Ed was sitting up in a bed, a hospital gown exchanged out for the clothes he'd been wearing before. A strip of gauze wrapped its way around his head. Ed was sullenly holding an ice-pack to his ribs with the hand that didn't have an IV line in it.

As they walked into the room, a doctor looked up. "Ah, Colonel Roy Mustang and Alphonse Elric, I take it?"

Al gave a nod. Roy walked forward and shook the doctor's hand and said politely, "Yes. How is Fullmetal doing?"

"Well, we haven't quite assessed the full extent of Edward's concussion, but he seems to be doing fine. The paramedics stemmed the bleeding from his head wound and we were able to bandage it up without stitches."

That was a blessing. Roy wasn't sure how badly Ed would've taken stitches.

The doctor continued, "There seems to be some bruising around the ribs as well. We don't believe anything's broken, but we'll take an x-ray to make sure. Finally, we aren't sure how this new drug is affecting Edward, but we're putting him on fluids to hopefully clear it out by tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Al questioned. "You're keeping him overnight?"

"Yes. Not only does he have a concussion, he's also been given a drug we aren't familiar with. We need to keep him overnight both to monitor the concussion and to make sure any side effects he experiences from the drug aren't injurious to his health. I'll have to ask you to leave shortly; visiting hours are over, and Edward needs to rest."

Al looked like he was going to insist on staying; then he looked at Ed and stopped. "Okay. Goodnight, Ed."

Ed hesitated for so long Roy thought he wouldn't respond at all. "Goodnight, Al."

He didn't look at Al. Al looked at him for a while, and Roy felt the same wounded sense coming from him as he had earlier. Finally Al turned and left.

Roy looked around for the doctor and came up blank. He must have slipped out just seconds before, presumably to give them privacy. The idea made Roy uneasy, just like this entire situation had. He'd gone, in the span of barely two hours, from being mostly ignored and yelled at by Ed to being told his private neuroses. He was utterly lost. He had no idea how to be...

What? What was he even supposed to be? He didn't know that, either.

He looked over at Ed. Their eyes met.

"You'd better behave, Ed," Roy said, deciding at least that would be safe to say. "If I come in tomorrow and hear you've been harassing them, I'll personally tell the barracks kitchen to serve milk for all their meals for the next week."

Ed looked horrified. "You wouldn't!"

"I would. You should know by now, my reputation's important. Can't have some half-pint brat coming in and making me look bad."

Ed huffed. "Fuck you, 'm not a half-pint brat. And who the hell cares about your dumb reputation, anyway?"

"I do, clearly," Roy said, rolling his eyes. He turned and started walking towards the door. "If that's all, the doctor will most likely be coming back soon, so I should leave-"

"Roy, wait!"

Roy stopped. He turned back around.

Ed had abruptly turned to face the other direction, with his head buried in a pillow and only his hair visible. Roy took a cautious step forward. "Ed, did you-"

"Ye- no," Ed said, the words so muffled Roy could barely distinguish them. "You did- not. You're hearing things in your old age. Bastard," he added as an afterthought.

The supposed insult definitely didn't sound like one this time.

Roy would forever deny that he had begun to smile. "Don't lie, I heard you. You called me Roy."

"So what if I did?!" Ed snapped, pulling his face up from the pillow and glaring at Roy. It was red, and his eyes did not meet Roy's. "Don't pretend you haven't been calling me-"

"Oh, I'm not pretending anything," Roy said, enjoying this far too much. He could count on one hand the amount of times Ed had been embarrassed around him, and was all too amused at being able to watch it now. "I made a choice to call you Ed and I don't regret it. You should be pleased, Ed; we're on first-name basis now!"

Ed let out a strangled sound. "Colonel, I swear-"

Roy fought back a cackle. "No, none of that, Ed," he said in a mocking sing-song, "It's Roy now."

Ed was growing more and more flustered. Roy suspected that, if it weren't for the drug, Ed already would've gone on the same sort of screaming rampage he'd used in the cave all those months ago. Fortunately for Roy, Ed couldn't lie right now, at least to that extent - the few lies he had told were clearly a struggle. Roy could sit back and watch the hilarity that was a red-faced, fidgeting and utterly embarrassed fifteen-year-old kid.

"I don't want to-" Ed hissed, clutching his head. "-Do want to...no, no I don't-"

Roy decided to take pity on him then. Of course Ed would be stubbornly trying his best to lie. He would probably start hurting himself soon if he kept struggling against the drug.

"It's alright, Fullmetal. If you don't want to, you don't have to."

"No," Ed said immediately, "I want to." Then he dropped his face back into the pillow and swore.

Roy took another step forward so that he was next to the bed. He didn't know for certain what Ed's holdups were regarding this. But Roy was an orphan himself, so he wondered if, maybe...

"I'm not going to leave you."

Everything about Ed froze. Even his breathing went still. Ed picked his head back up from the pillow but kept his eyes on the floor. "I don't know that."

"You do," Roy said, "because I'm telling you."

Ed stared at the ground, stared and stared. "I don't believe that."

And that, unfortunately, was something Roy could not help. But he decided he would try one more time, the best he knew how. "I'm not your father, Ed."

The breath that had stilled in Ed whooshed out all at once. "I know that, too," he said, but he sounded...relieved, maybe.

They were both quiet for a second. Then Ed said, very quietly, in a voice that trembled and broke halfway through, "You're better than he could ever be."

Oh, Roy thought. Oh. Then, from the very depths of his heart, I hope to God he doesn't take this back tomorrow.

"I..." Roy closed his eyes and braced himself. "I'll try my best."

He waited for a moment and heard silence as his only answer. His gut clenched and he raised his head, waiting for Ed to scream at him and tell him the whole thing was a ruse.

But Ed was finally looking at him. There was something indescribable in his expression: something relieved, disbelieving, afraid, and joyous all at once. He made to speak, swallowed, looked away, looked back, and finally said,

"Thanks, Roy."

Roy smiled and reached over and ruffled Ed's hair. "Goodnight, Ed." He started to walk out of the room, before pausing. "And apologize to your brother, you hear?"

Ed made an annoyed, grumbling sound. "Fine, whatever. Bastard."

Roy just laughed.

As he walked out of the hospital, the same thought repeated over and over again. Please don't let him take it back tomorrow.


When Roy went back to the hospital that morning, it was to find Al already there, talking to Ed. He paused briefly, wondering if they had made up yet, but didn't have to wait for long to find out. As Roy walked in, he heard Al's exasperated voice:

"Brother, drink your milk! If you don't drink it, you have no reason to keep complaining about being-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT A COW COULD STOMP ON THEM AND NOT EVEN REALIZE THEY'RE THERE!?"

"You!" Al retorted. "And what's more, you're also so short Lieutenant Hawkeye could put you in her gun and not realize you're not a bullet until she shot you! So there!"

Ed gave out an undignified howl and threw himself at Al, which Al treated with the same contempt he would have if a two-week-old kitten had tried to claw him.

Roy couldn't help himself; he started to laugh. As soon as he'd done so, however, Ed and Al froze in their respective positions: Al, sitting calmly in his hospital chair next to Ed's bed, and Ed, upside-down with one foot on Al's helmet, the other flailing in the air, and his arms around one of Al's legs. Ed scrambled off of Al and back onto his bed comically quickly, patting down his un-braided lion's mane of hair - as though that would make it look any less wild - and said in a deceptively casual tone,

"Oh hey, Roy. What's up?"

"Brother, that is not the proper way to address the Colonel!" Al said, sounding scandalized. "Colonel, I'm really sorry for Ed's lack of etiquette."

Roy glanced over at Ed, who was grinning at him, and then back at Al. He decided, fuck it, and said, "You know, Al, you could also call me Roy if you'd like."

He was rewarded with a once-in-a-lifetime view: Al, sputtering and only occasionally managing to string two or three words together, "But I- but that's- I couldn't possibly-" and Ed, absolutely cackling with laughter like an old-timey witch.

"Oh, but you could," Roy said, now grinning himself. "After all, if I'm doing it with Ed, might as well do it with you, too."

Al's sputtering devolved even further, but when Roy looked at Ed, Ed was beaming at him. In Ed's smile Roy read relief and acceptance and most importantly, assurance. This time, Ed would not repudiate Roy.

Roy smiled back and decided that for once, he wouldn't worry about tomorrow.


A/N: I'm absolute trash for truth serum fics so I simply couldn't resist.

As for the medical section of the chapter, I'm aware that they wouldn't have had IV lines in the late 1800s to early 1900s (when FMA is set). However, they also wouldn't have had running water or tanks, so obviously FMA is not historically accurate. Given the medical advancements possible through the study of alchemy, I would think they'd have at least gotten IV lines down.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this monster of a chapter. The last chapter will be more bittersweet, so gear up, lol.