SerenityxEndymion: Mamoru's gonna get an eye full of something. I was once told the best revenge is living a better life than the person who made you feel lower than life. Or something along those lines. I may have taken inspiration off the quote. It will still be a minute before Mamoru and her get back together, and they both know it….have known…you get it. and your right, he did mess up first.
Princesakarlita411: yup, yup, yup! And the highlight of my Sunday, and weekdays, is reading everyone's responses.
Jaguarsolaris: it was needed all around, not just for Usagi but for her friends, both magical and not.
Mysticgrnbutterfly: to be honest I kept going back and forth between doing that, but not to worry. I want to assure the fears out there, but I can't without giving to much away. Hope you'll want to keep reading this.
LoveInTheBattleField: thanks.
Rjzero00: in hindsight, he was going to seek her out after he spoke with Motoki, but then Chibi Usa came in and that whole thing freaked him out. it also showed him what's actually important to him versus not as important as he once thought. And yeah her reflection on it for her was becoming a comparison that she wasn't trying to do since they are so much different than the other, yet its good for her to make the comparison to see the beneficial differences. Plus to be honest, when I did the original time line it wasn't this long, but I ended up stretching it out when I realized just how much was going on all at once.
Selenity84: yup and that's going to be happening a bit to.
Joanne Frances Tiano Cajilig: wow, thank you, and I try. 😊 and agreed…but may there's hope…
AimlesslyGera: yeah Tyler sort of slipped under the radar into 'hey I'm a good character to keep around for a bit'. Lol so I am for a little while. But yeah Usa/Mamo will ALWAYS be my favorite! Lol
DarkenedHrt101: I tell myself the same thing, but it never works. the storm is brewing and is about to crash harder than Makoto's thunder.
kera69love: yeah funny thing is, I hate cliff hangers in t.v. shows (especially mid-season finalie or season finalies where you don't know if it'll go good or bad), movies even, and yet I write them myself. Lol I might be a little bit evil. Lol
Aiyoku: well to be honest the whole scene wound up being a bit huge, like really huge, so I HAD to give it its OWN chapter. You'll see why. And while I would love to give in and post sooner, I do a final edit of it the night of that way I'll catch anything that might not sound right and add in somethings that I might not have thought about before for the characters. And I love you all to.
Guest (1): wow that was really sweet of you. I plan to definitely keep up. I do what I do cause I enjoy doing it and the responses I get from you all are really encouraging.
CassieRaven: yup, spot on.
InuKaglover4ev22: that word 'conflicted' was a running theme for a bit in this story as of the next few chapters. Lol I actually had to think of another way of saying it cause I had it in there every so often. I feel the same way, trust me. precisely. And yeah she know sit deep down, I mean a normal life doesn't truly exist for any of them. things will progressively happen just not at this moment. And yes Rei will have an 'awakening moment' so to speak. Chibi Usa is having her own stuff to deal with at the moment.
SerenityDeath: myself to but yeah she did need to see what all is out there. And yes he does which is why things will be changing soon enough. Thanks.
No extra's: yeah I think for him it takes a hard nail through his skull to hit the right nerve to get the picture. Unfortunately, men are like this, not all but some. Well your about to find out how he feels about it. I didn't think about it that way with the 'trio' until later on and wasn't sure if anyone else would. Lol
Ladybug: yeah Tyler gives Usagi a chance to be herself on a level that Mamoru in a sense restricted her on cause he felt that since he was doing med student stuff that she wouldn't want to have conversations but in doing to he limited their relationship to. and you'll be seeing something else in this chapter.
Jovemako: pretty much. For now. you'll get a dose of what's in Rei's head soon but right now stuff is about to hit the proverbial fan. And yes she does present that she's more loyal towards Chibi Usa than to Usagi, and while she IS loyal to Usagi, issues have prevented it from being fully completed…so to speak. But she has that love towards CHibi Usa since she can almost, if you change out the pink ones hair and hair style, she can ALMOST pass for Rei's kid in the personality department…in some instances. So Rei feels a connection to her since she actually listens to Rei versus Usagi. At least that was some of my interpretation through the first half of the anime with Rei and Chibi Usa. And luna's coming back around pretty soon. Theirs going to be a talk on that as well.
karseneau1: I honestly didn't/don't consider this cheating but that does get brought up a bit in here. I even had to reference to one of my sisters who's been in a fair amount of relationships to know the straight blunt truth of it. hopefully you'll continue to read though. Oh and in real life I definitely don't tolerate any form of cheating. For example, the only reason why I cant really be to upset at this guy I was seeing for two months since he slept with his ex was because we never established what we were.
MusicLovingEmo: its going to be both soon enough but there will only be one winner.
mtillm21: cause the explosion coming up is going to need its own chapter.
ParadigmShift81: true.
Sesshy's Rose: yup sure enough.
Guest (2): oh yes definitely, I wanted there to be an equal balance considering how it all starts, then the rocky middle leading to a rockier section before things level out. thanks for the Tyler character, I was actually struggling to name him when I pulled up some youtube clips to take a writing break and TVD's clips came up. one being the relationship with Caroline, Klaus and himself and it struck me…hmmm…so I went with the name. well that and cause for me, while Tyler was a good guy for Caroline in that show, I think she should have wound up with Klaus. They balanced each other out and kept one another on their toes. Plus they were way hotter together than her and Tyler…no offense to those that are Tyler/Caroline fans but even though the guy who played him is cutier than the guy who played Klaus, Caroline worked better with Klaus than Tyler. If only they wound up together. anyways…Usagi being with Tyler shows her what she's been missing out on and she can see now that Mamoru needs to step up. and yeah agree. Usagi became, lonely, insecure, jealous and even a little needy with Mamoru so this is showing her she doesn't need to be that way cause the guys will come to her. trust me that wont happen. It would defeat the purpose. And yes your right. 😉
mikanxnatsume1228: will do, and not entirely, but some yes.
phillynz: We won't be seeing the last of Tyler I assume you of that.
Mira Shards: will do. 😊
Guest (3): will do. 😊
She: yup. 😉
kuachan: thank you, I enjoy writing this out, and reading how you guys enjoy it to.
Guest (4): I try. 😊 I think she did disappear as a carefree person a bit when she became Sailor Moon, she had to grow up really fast and be expected to fight the forces of evil at the beginning tender age of 14. That's not an easy pill to swallow. And no Tyler will be here for a little bit. And no it wont be instantly their back together. and yup your pretty accurate.
Selenity Hime 13: for the time being yes. Lol and yeah she needs to get out and be with her friends that she knows wont criticize her but she still does have Minako, Ami and Makoto for that but you get the point. Yes things are about to unfold.
WOW! 33 reviews! Awesome! Makes me wonder what the next chapter will bring in this story, cause its still going to be going on for a minute. This in fact might be the longest story I've even made. Glad everyone is enjoying it so far, hopefully this will be a shocking reaction that you all enjoy, please read and review!
Breaking point ch. 17
Mamoru POV
It took me nearly 30 long minutes to scour the surface of Japan here to find her. To find a trace of our link through all of the life that grew here or had any pure energy here. She was downtown of all places which made it more difficult since downtown was filled with many more people than any suburban area. Hell, people from the suburbs came out here to have a good time or party, it just depended on the day of the week.
Usagi however, she was out with friends, that part I didn't mind and was happy for her on but out with 'some guy' that she shouldn't be out with I was definitely NOT okay with. We were still together, being on a break means were still together, were just…on the fence right now and in need of mending…right? I forced myself to refocus as I left my place on my bike and drove through the streets looking for her.
It shouldn't have taken more than two minutes let alone as long as it did to find her, it made me furious with myself for how badly things had gotten. It shouldn't have taken me pulling out my phone to even THINK about using the GPS to ping her cell to find her. I refused to start following modern technology to find my soul mate through our bond. I should have been able to sense her like I used to. Follow my gut, follow my heart. Yet my gut was in knots and my heart was frantic and worried. Even my soul cried out in need for her.
It hadn't cried in a long time and now even it was feeling like its other half was not as close as she used to be. This made me worry more than Chibi Usa disappearing had. That hadn't had me nearly as fearful as the prospect of this evening had. I sped so fast through the streets it was a wonder I didn't alert a patrol officer to the admittedly felony speeding I was doing. That's how damned scared I was about tonight.
I was shifting between fourth and fifth gears, not two and three, four and five. The highest ones on a motorcycle. That's how desperate my mind was racing to get towards her. My soul called out to her, but it didn't hear anything back. I forced the tears at bay. This was no time to cry. I thought back to the times when a youma had nearly taken her from me. The times when even my former generals had tried to kill her.
She had survived it and came to me. She always came to me. Her love touched the deepest parts of my soul that I had believed didn't deserve love. When she went head to head with Beryl then Wiseman, I felt the fear that usually came with it and the hope that she would make it out and she did. Every time she came back to me. I felt the smallest of fears when Diamond took her that he might actually win since he was using hypnosis to force her to his whims.
That one had me sometimes the most fearful of losing her. Losing everything I ever loved and because he used manipulation to do it. I knew how hard it was to break that type of brainwashing, Usagi had to do it to me a few times with the crystal. The final time was with our heart locket she had. The pure love power from that pulled me back one finally time. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing her suffer as I had.
I'd trade places with her a hundred's times over to prevent her from being sucked into the evil hell I was stuck in. Worse yet though it wasn't just a personal hell but what it would mean for everyone. The world. Cause if he had won, had she been turned to the dark side, not only would Diamond have had the other half of my soul, of me…but he would have had the ultimate weapon at his disposal…her.
Its why the enemy always wanted her dead. She was the greatest weapon to have. Not just because of the silver crystal no…but because of her generous heart. Because she could get the enemy to turn their backs on evil and be saved by her. To be cleansed by the crystal. To find that shred of good in people that they themselves didn't know existed and pull it out of them. She saved me countless time and pulled me back from the evil I got put under myself, too many times but that was my burden to bear.
Most of all thought, because at the end of the day, she could get any man to fall for her and she didn't even know it. This is the part of her that terrified me the most cause of what it could lead to. Her finding someone that was better than me. Her finding someone that could be everything she deserved because we knew it wasn't me. She had to know it deep down. I knew it yet I still fucked up royally.
I swerved around another corner, nearly missing hitting someone because I was going too fast. I forced myself to slow down, hitting myself back into third gears to get myself back under control. It wasn't going to do me any good to crash before I found her in the swarm of people out here. I managed to find her part of the link on the street came across. I parked my bike on the side and used my power to find her once more.
I sensed her energy towards my left further down as I secured my bike in its position and left. I looked for her traditional odangoes all over and so far, wasn't finding them. My game plan was simple, find her, grab her up, take her back to my place so we could have a nice long talk then if all went well, have glorious make up sex and make her forget all about any other guy as a chance to be with. Make her only see me as someone to love and marry in the future. I had to make her forget there were other options out there.
I had to. Perhaps the hope for sex was a little strong but remembering the mention of her out with another guy had my heckles raised up tremendously. There was a feral need from below, something my inner prince felt deep inside that needed to take her back. Make sure she wasn't too far gone from us and secure her back to our side permanently. I shook off other thoughts, first and foremost we needed to talk. I needed to listen to everything she had to say, and not just hear her out but take it in and make definite changes.
That's when I saw Naru I think it was. She and Umino were looking happy at one another as I walked up to them. Maybe they knew where she was. That's when their focus went from each other to smiling at another sight as Naru giggled. That's when I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart stopped. It literally felt like it had. It went from pounding double time from my run and my mind going crazy on what to do once I found her, to stopping as if its sole reason for beating was gone and only now had it realized it.
At that my stomach lurched. The bit of contents that were in it then dropped like a dead weight in my gut. I couldn't even force one foot in front of the other. The few people around were milling past me as I felt my knees weaken so badly that they threatened to give out from the shock of the sight before me. Even my breathing felt like a choir as I saw the very fear I'd always held realized before me. I suddenly wished we were in battle. That way I could crush the guy in front of her with my bare hands.
I could stab him with my saber. Beat him bloody with my cane till he admitted defeat and crawled away never to be seen again. Use my roses to slice at his face like I did with Diamond when he tried and nearly succeeded in kissing MY girlfriend. I actually started to form a rose in my hand before I remembered there were people still around. I couldn't use my powers. I felt my heart start to beat again only this time it was beating so fast I felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest.
Forget the youma, forget Beryl's spell in that mental hell and Wiseman with his manipulation, forget even Diamond and his third eye, that was child's play compared to this. Compared to what really scared me. Because that was magic, that was something I could blame on the evils of this world. It was still terrifying in its own right but on a level that I knew I could fight and act on normally. This wasn't.
No this was what terrified me the most and it had me gasping for air. This was my nightmare on a level of horror that even future self couldn't have conjured up. Yes, the future he showed me where I lose her on our wedding day was a horrendous one. It was one that haunted me every night, that made me an insufferable ass to her for months on end till we got back together…but I never stopped loving her.
That nightmare had been bad, yet this was a new level of horror cause of how grounded in our everyday realities it was. This wasn't a youma, not an evil prince. I even used my other powers to sense him, wanting him on some level to be evil so I could crush him, but I couldn't use my powers because he was a regular human. He wasn't someone with powers, he wasn't someone that was an enemy…he was human through and throughout.
I had never been more terrified or more pissed at the same time. The terror of losing the one you love beyond anything else in this world, and losing her to not just another man but another man who was just average, who wasn't manipulating her, and seemed all too comfortable and relaxed around her and it was because of your own stupidity and for her to see that she can and deserves better than you.
My prince self even raged within me. Seeing his beloved locking lips with another was enough to push up a storm of rage in him that fueled me up even more than I already was. I was already red with rage before, but my princely self-made my anger and rage more uncontrollable, and while he and I were both men of control when it came to her…not so much. I felt more unpredictable than usual. It was one of the reasons I tried to keep a leash on him from within my own form.
Tried to stop him from taking over unless it was an enemy that needed it. He had a way of…I growled…I had a way of losing control over parts of myself that I tried to pretend weren't there cause it wasn't what I had used to practice BEFORE I found out about who I really was. Now it was haunting me three-fold it felt like cause right now, there was no leash. It was like it disintegrated into dust at the very sight of what we saw and there was no controlling nor a need to control him…me.
There was just him venting his anger and he was beyond pissed not just at me though, even though he was definitely pissed at me for letting THIS happen, but at the guy currently locking lips with OUR beloved. His hand on her face as he held her up to kiss him. I could literally feel icy fire in my veins that wanted to pulverize him. I could feel my own eyes darken at the sight before me.
Fuck that! She was only mine to kiss. I wanted so badly to smash my fist into his face that I didn't even think about it. I stormed up to them. I didn't care I was a man on a mission. To face the fact that this guy held MY girlfriend in HIS arms and was KISSING her like she was his to kiss! I bypassed a stunned Naru and Umino, both confused as to my presence there and throwing them off. To confused to stop what I was going to do. Good it wouldn't do for either of them to get in the way.
I was red with rage right now. That stomach drop turned into an icy white-hot ball of rage as I, before I even knew it reached them, pushed Usagi out of the way and slammed my fist into his stupid chiseled face. My fist barely felt a thing from the hit. I was too fueled with anger to give a shit that I nearly knocked him into the street. Was it bad that I didn't care if he got hit by a car or not? That I was tempted to use more strength to send him into traffic.
That I was taking out some of the anger I felt towards myself for this even becoming an event to happen, out on him. Was that bad? Or was that just a human emotion…or a royal blooded Terrian emotion to feel when your lover was being courted by another? The shock on his face was apparent before he regained himself and pushed back towards me, unwilling to lose this fight that I had started. He looked at me stunned as Usagi screamed at me to stop. Apparently, he realized that she knew me.
Yeah jackass I was the boyfriend in this scenario, NOT YOU! The rage running though me was still strong as the guy rebounded himself. He looked ready to fight if need be and I was all the most willing to put him in his place. Far from MY girlfriend. It was Usagi who jumped in between us to try and dispel the fight from evolving. Her hand on my chest as she pushed me back from him.
I went to grab her, to pull her away from the group to tell her we needed to talk so I could take her away on my bike down the street. My hand had her arm for only a few seconds before he did the next poorly judged thing...besides kiss her. That was still at the top of the list of reasons why I wanted to break his face further than what damage I had already done. He pulled her gently I noticed, BEHIND HIM as he stepped forward in FRONT of her.
I could break this man in seconds flat. I could destroy him; he had no idea that I could but that was beside the point. Yet here he was standing between the love of my life and me. A bold stroke if I were to be honest. "I can't tell if you're dumb as hell or brave as hell." I muttered. I was willing to go with both though. She was worth it to play the white knight for. To lay down one's life for. She was more than worth it actually; he just didn't need to play the role towards me because I was the FUCKING WHITE KNGHT!
I was HER white knight! He narrowed his eyes at me. I finally had a chance to take a look at this guy. He was about my age, perhaps a tad older but not by much. I could still hand him his ass though, "I don't know who the hell you are but you better back the hell off!" The dumb part of this whole thing was he was playing the white knight card against me. It was aggravating as anything to be honest.
Granted it was obvious he didn't know who I was which made this all the worse cause how could she NOT tell him she was with me still?! It also told me though I needed to correct this situation before things got more out of hand. As it was, he was being protective over her as if I would dare hurt her. Granted I had messed up and hurt her mentally and emotionally, but I would never – I COULD NEVER hurt her…intentionally.
Memories of torturing her when I was evil came to mind but that had been so long ago. And while she had forgiven me for it, I had never forgiven myself. That however had been completely not within my control. The moment I had my own control back I protected her from the shards Beryl threw at us that day. It was a blow that would end up killing me back then. And it would be Usagi's wish that would grant us another chance.
THIS was our chance and I wasn't letting HIM take that from us. From me. Pride and anger swelled deeply within me. My love for her ran deep and the need to protect that love ran like icy fire within my veins. It was the blood that kept me going and pushed me forward to claim what was mine. I only wished it hadn't taken this to let it go and let myself feel the intensity of my feelings for her. She not only deserved better, but she would get better…from me. No one else but me.
Perhaps it was selfish of me to feel that way but when I saw him kissing her it was like I had an icy fist clenching my heart and the only way to get it off was to secure her to my side once more and I was willing to do anything in my power to prove to her that I was the one she was meant to be with. No matter then past or the future. This was OUR time. I could even feel my prince side telling me 'bout damned time'.
Yet a shroud of warning on hoping I hadn't been too late. That's when I noticed even Naru and Umino tried to tell me to back off as they got in my path. Naru was usually sweet and bubbly, if I recall currently and even Umino wasn't one to challenge someone yet he got a backbone enough to yell at me? When did that happen? I was beginning to wonder what all I had missed as I was now being glared at by them.
Naru just looked at me with anger and disappointment. Umino was protective of her but at the same point telling me in the best guy expression he could 'get your shit together!' "What the hell is wrong with you?" Usagi stood forward out from behind this guy who seemed confident in standing by her side. That should be ME by her side! Not him but me! I refused to acknowledge the part of my brain that was telling me this was a date she had been on so technically he was by her side for a reason.
I had to get her to leave here with me but my best shot of that happening was to cool my jets so that I could convince her to leave with me. Before I could fully get cooled though I saw that guy around her. Even as she got in front of him, he stayed as much in front of her as possible. His arm even wrapping partially around her waist. It was a manner I had done myself so often when saving her in battle.
It had seemed to insignificant then and now seeing someone else, a suitor doing it to her, reminding me of the kiss that I'd first seen when I happened upon them, rose a furious jealousy in me that I had never felt before. Not even Diamond had risen such a response before. Diamond hadn't stood a chance with her though…this guy does. And that right there made an incredibly possessive urge rise within me.
I fought the urge to push her two friends aside and – before I could stop it my prince half strode between both Naru and Umino, gently pushing them to one side and trying to grasp onto Usagi to talk to her in private. "We need to talk, alone." The emphasis on 'alone' was all it needed for Usagi to know I meant serious business. It was also however enough to tell this guy I wasn't leaving here empty handed.
"Mamoru now isn't the time!" she ground out between clenched teeth, trying to keep her voice low. Her words were refusing but her eyes telling me 'later!' I needed to end this little date though. I couldn't let it progress. As it was the moment, I left her alone at it there was still a chance. I needed to extinguish that. "Now is the time Usa." I demanded; however the near order especially now was the wrong move to make on my part. After all what room did, I have of all people to give her demands after everything that I had done?
He own fury rose as I regretted my words. Not my actions but those poorly chosen words to her of all people. Prince of earth I might be but princess of the moon and goddess of my every dream she also was. I was in NO position to be making demands of her. Even if I saw the tiniest speck of her possibly liking the take charge attitude, I put out there. Perhaps at another time had we not been in this very situation she might have said something else.
This however was NOT any other situation. I was in my very own hell that I was trying very carefully a way to craft a way out of to salvage what we have here. Her response to my words was to resist my hold on her arm as her 'date', as I refused to put a name to the jackass that dared to take her from me, pulled ME off of her and shoved ME back this time and got back in front of her even as she worked to placate him to.
That's right she could handle herself, not that she needed to, but she could. He looked ready to fight still and I was more than willing to give him another black eye. The first one looked to be forming nicely. I couldn't help but smirk a bit at that, "You might want to go get that looked at." I snarked off at him. I normally wasn't like this. I NEVER normally lost my cool like this but seeing her locking lips with him.
It threw my heart and head into such a tailspin I couldn't stop myself from reacting and acting out. I wonder if this is what she felt when she saw Saori kiss me. As brief as that had been, I wonder if that was how she felt. If so, she reacted more filled with reserve and cool than I just had. I lost my mind and truthfully, I still didn't have it back yet. How was it she reacted with such poise and calm and I managed to act like an ass? "No now isn't the time." that's when I noticed my actions had garnered us a crowd.
Forcing my rage down and even getting my inner prince back at bay I said, "Give me five minutes please." I said as neutrally as I could. Even though I still wanted to bash the guys face in he waited till she gave him the okay along with her friends to give us a few minutes, "Usagi?" he asked her, concern in his features. She turned to him, full on turned to him, angering me further as he captured her attention.
It physically hurt to have her look at him with those doe eyes that reassured him she'd be fine; she'd only ever had those eyes before for me. "It's fine, he won't hurt me." I could hear the words 'not physically anyways' in her tone. That hurt but I deserved it. "I'll give you four minutes." She smiled, "Go ahead I'll be there in a few." He only stepped away to where her other friends were as they stayed within viewing distance of us. Neither of them trusting me at the moment. When did I sink so low as to be in THIS position?
Usagi POV
Once more it felt like Mamoru and I crashed into life. Only this time it was his fist into Tyler's face. I was more than just shocked. I was baffled, stunned, angry…I was so many different emotions right now, but I had to focus on reigning Mamoru under control. He literally barreled into Tyler like a damned wrecking ball. Pushing me away first before punching him in the face hard enough to send him reeling back.
It all happened so fast I couldn't believe what had just happened. Mamoru was here for starters, he somehow FOUND me which meant he had to have used the link. No one other than whom I was with knew where I was. He certainly didn't call or text me, he just came out which then prompted me to wonder why tonight of all nights did he decide to make this decision? What made tonight different?
Did he somehow sense that I was with another guy tonight? Even though it wasn't initially a date but somehow ended up at one. Was this a sign that I shouldn't be out with Tyler like this? I just put Mamoru and myself on a break, I hadn't actually stated were 'broken up', yet here I was allowing myself the comforts of another guy that I barely knew to kiss me when only Mamoru ever had.
Before I could continue to ask myself question's I had to stop him from causing more harm than good. I jumped between the two to try and quell things down and while Tyler was doing the noble and honorable thing to try to protect me, I knew that seeing another guy being protective of me from him enraged Mamoru. I could see it in how his eyes darkened. He knew I could handle myself so I knew that having another protecting me from HIM when he wasn't being an evil douche would piss him off to no end.
I knew as well as he did that, he wouldn't physically hurt me, yet Tyler didn't and was just trying to do the right thing. Of course, it would be nice for him to be understandable that he wasn't the only type of guy that would try to be protective over me. There was a newfound rage in there I hadn't seen before in Mamoru, like a new fire had been lite within him.
I didn't even see him looking this pissed when Diamond took me. Well that was a different kind of anger, this was something new. I was unused to it. So, when Tyler tried to protect me further then even Naru and Umino stepped in to talk Mamoru down I knew I had to step up and take care of this myself. I convinced them all to give us a few minutes. The night wasn't over yet…at least I hope not.
I had some explaining to do to Tyler now. Especially after getting punched in the face. When they gave us some privacy, I felt a new level of anger myself. His actions were uncalled for and unjust and yes, another guy had kissed me and once I had a chance to think about it while it was nice, it wasn't Mamoru. I missed Mamoru's kisses, the way he kissed me with passion and love, the way they made me feel.
Tyler's kiss was new-found and sweet, but it just wasn't Mamoru's. I felt bad for comparing but I couldn't really help myself. If anything, Tyler's kiss just reminded me that while I did like him he wasn't Mamoru…but perhaps that was more of a good thing than I initially realized. Back to the subject at hand here, Mamoru was being an ass regardless of what happened though. I had at least acted more maturely when I saw he and Saori kiss.
He came in blazing hot and punched him. then proceeded to act all high and mighty when he had no room to do so. That had seriously pissed me off. I realized that his demanding voice was ridiculous. If he seriously thought that was a good idea to make them especially considering how he came in and acted he had another thing coming. "What in the hell is wrong with you?!" I snapped at him, wanting to push him away.
"Excuse me?" he responded, "What was that? You have no right to punch him like that!" I had to quiet my voice down as I getting a bit loud. Tyler looked over at us ready to come to my aid if needed. "Are you joking?!" he huffs, as if he had every right to do so and looked frankly like I was in the wrong for my actions. Bad move. "Like hell I don't! Besides how can I not when he's making a move on my girlfriend?" he responds to me.
This is a shocker, for me to hear him acknowledge me as his girlfriend. It shouldn't have been, but it was. That's when I realized it. It shouldn't be a shocker to hear the acknowledgement…and yet it was. It hurt that it was when it shouldn't have been. My voice got low, "So NOW I'm your girlfriend?!" I near growled. I made sure this conversation part was kept low so that we weren't truly overheard. I didn't know what else might be brought up.
He could see how angry I was and backed off, good. He did still have some amount of common sense in him, trouble was it had to hit AFTER the damage had been done. That's when I looked back over at my friends. At Tyler. The friends that I had pushed away once for their, as Luna put it, 'their own good, their own safety'. And the guy that I was genuinely coming to like. It took me going through this evening for me to recognize and see that I could be wanted by another guy, something I hadn't considered before.
The question was, would Mamoru actually change or was this merely a fluke? Tyler was a nice guy and to be honest he actually treated me well. Like we were on a real date. He backed me up and was there for me. I felt wanted and not just needed. I had been missing that so MUCH with Mamoru, but I knew all the same I wished it had been with Mamoru that I had felt that with. I couldn't deny however that I liked Tyler and that I did want to continue to be around him, hang out with him.
He wasn't afraid to be seen with me. It was nice to be visible and noticed…to exist in someone's life as someone they cared about. Plus, it seemed that Mamoru only acted out when I put our relationship to the test or when someone else did. It shouldn't have taken that. I didn't know exactly what was coming next, but I knew that for once Mamoru had to fight for me. It was time for a change.
Time for him to earn my love as I did for him so many times before. This could be his love showing itself, or it could be him merely lashing out in anger at his own future in jeopardy. I needed to know for certain. I trusted Ami's judgement saying that he loved me, that he's in love with me, but he needed to prove that to me now. To prove that this action of his wasn't some fluke, that he was willing to fight for me. That's when I saw a hint of my price within him, those eyes begging me to give him one last chance.
"Usa…please I never stopped loving you. You've always been mine." He tried. I couldn't help my response, "Except for when were around a group of your peers. The ones that didn't even hardly know of my existence." I saw him wince on that, "Usa…I can explain I promise. Let's go back to my place. We'll talk there." He tried again, took my arm again in a plea but I resisted. He looked shocked as I pulled away.
The action itself didn't hurt but the emotional and mental blow for both of us hurt us both physically. Like a tear in our hearts at the action but my heart had been through enough. Right now, I needed to talk to Tyler to explain and apologize on behalf of Mamoru's actions. He didn't deserve this. Just because Mamoru barreled in here didn't mean he could get his way, even if a tiny part of me did enjoy him going all jealous guy for me.
I was to pissed off to let the action slip by. "No…we will talk later on, but not tonight." I told him as he sounded frustrated. Like he had reason to especially since he's had plenty of chances to schedule this out but hadn't done so as of yet. I wanted to ask why this night made a difference, but my friends were waiting. I sighed, "Listen I have to talk to Tyler now. Explain things to him. We'll talk tomorrow or something."
He looked as worried as he was hopeful yet stuck himself on worried, "So that's his name." it wasn't a question. I looked at him and part of me wanted to put him in the pain that I was in, make him feel like Tyler and I were out on a date, that I was dating him but I was never good at lying, and I couldn't lie to him…despite everything. "Yeah his name is Tyler and he's a really good guy." it was a small cut, but I knew it hurt him.
"He has a stupid name." it was a childish response at best as he looked away from me, "I have to get back to them." He looked back as Tyler called out, "Usagi?" I reassured him I was okay. "If he comes back over here, I'll break his stupid face." Mamoru threatened. I got it. His ego had been hurt to see another guy kiss me. His heart to, on that I knew to but seriously, try feeling that ONTOP of what I've been feeling for months.
It seemed that Mamoru was being unrelenting though. The one time he decides to be firm regarding being with me and he chooses NOW to do it. Such bad timing. "Usa, please…just come with me." his desperation was hurting my heart as I felt his cry out in pain. Why didn't you respond when mine was doing the same to you?! All those months ago? Oh, I remember because you let us drift off to the point where our link got weak.
I did the most painful thing to us that evening. I stepped back away and towards my friends who had begun to take a few steps forward. Not too far from Mamoru though, just enough to make a point, "I'm sorry but now isn't the time." I tried, tears beginning to well in my eyes. He looked angered and hurt at the same time. I was torn between being there for him as my soul mate and knowing I needed to go with my friends, to tell Tyler the truth on as much as I could between Mamoru and me.
"I'm sorry." He tried, "I know you are…" I could feel it through our link, he was sorry for what had happened, but it took this for him to feel it, "But we need to talk at a later date. Please understand that." I could feel his defeat at the evening. I myself was feeling emotionally and mentally drained now. Our link letting in so much heartache and pain it was becoming difficult for us both.
"So, what does this make us? You did say we were just on a 'break'." he asked. That was when Naru voiced out, "I know Usagi probably didn't realized it, but it means the same thing as breaking up. You two are broken up." to hear Naru say it sent my heart racing. Had I done that already? Had I broken us up and not realized it? "So, it's official?" he sounded so heart broken that I wanted to run to him.
I wanted to assure him that we were broken up, that we were going to work things out and that we could do that and be together on a break but according to Naru we couldn't. I felt like I was taking away his will to live and a piece of my soul was now in him. How did this man have the ability to make me feel like I was losing a piece of myself within him? Perhaps because no matter what you may feel for another, he is the only other half of your soul.
I couldn't deny my princess self, she was right. I was right. "What is it you want?" I asked, I felt as I sounded, exhausted. I did miss him so damned much, but I couldn't handle any more heartbreak. "Tell me what I need to do to make us right, Usa…to put us back together." he looked desperate right now. "I'll be honest I've missed you. So damned much, it's like there's a piece of me that's missing, and it took so much crap for the blinders to fall off so I could see it." something had happened.
He sounded so honest with his words. I did believe him. I stepped towards him for a moment as I spoke lowly to him, "I was initially going through so dark times when I realized things were getting bad." his fist clenched at his side with his anger. Thing was he brought this on himself. "I know you feel my pain to but Mamoru, I've been feeling this for a LOT longer. What your feeling now is only the tip of the iceberg of what I've been feeling." I could see the pain in his eyes at my words.
I opened our link further to feel his feelings and to let him feel mine. Even the ones that I tried to keep hidden from myself earlier. He deserved the truth. He felt more of my pain, more of my anger, the sadness all of it. He shot a glare towards Tyler but didn't say anything. He knew he had no ground to stand on. Not with his actions or lack thereof, "I know I've fucked up." understatement of the century.
"I know I made errors in our relationship. Ones that were easy to fix but I made them hard when I made the wrong decision in trying to fix them. I should have spent more time with you. Showed you that you matter to me. That you are my everything, cause…you are." I felt the truth of his words towards me, the emotion behind them was real. It was raw and honest. The open link proving to be bigger and more open than usual. Something happened for him to get that link forced open more than usual.
Perhaps his prince self-had something to do with it. Energized it or something. I wasn't sure, but it hadn't been this open in a while. I felt a tear forming from his honest words, yet I refused to let it fall. He was already doing that for me with his own tears. I hadn't seen him this raw and open about things in so long. I was just thankful that my friends knew enough that right now needed to stay put until Mamoru walked off.
He wiped the tears away, but it didn't stop more from pouring out. To see him deal with emotions when he was normally so robotic. To see him express himself was eye opening even for me. He was reacting with true fear in his features. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have the golden ray of light in my life. You are my life." I could hear the desperation in his voice. Gone for the moment was the guy that barreled in here and socked it to Tyler.
In his place was a desperate man who needed and wanted me. Yet how often was I in his shoes? Telling him that I wanted the same thing? Not in the same situation mind you but still. "You're what makes getting up in the morning truly worth it." He moved forward as if to touch me but stopped short. I didn't have to even back up as he debated on if he could even touch me. "I will always love you the most." The tear I refused to let fall did of its own accord.
The raw emotion I felt from hearing those words from his mouth. The truth of how deeply his love for me ran. Deeper than anything for our future daughter, deeper than the career he worked so hard to get to. He didn't even mention them. I felt them in their fullest as the bond fully opened up between us. It may have only been temporary, but I felt his love and the depths of his feelings like I hadn't in so long.
I felt his love for me so strongly it was like a physical manifestation of power. I wondered how he kept this depth of them so seemingly hidden cause I sure as hell never felt this level of it before. I'm sorry I stand corrected…not since the last time we made love…without interruption. When we were last able to bond together. Our love making was strengthening our bond the more we were together, when he let others get in the way it weakened the bond. Therefore, it had weakened us.
I could tell he feels my love for him, how much I do and will always love him. Yet I can tell he also feels the pain, the sadness and the suffering I was going through. The loneliness I felt. "You want me to fight I'll fight till the end of time if that's what it takes. I don't care. I can't lose you…and it's not for other reasons…" he spoke low making sure we weren't heard but still spoke in code to be safe still.
"It's because I love you to the depths of my soul that much. Whether we have kids or not, I just want to be with you. You are what I want and need Usako." It had been the first time I'd heard him say my nickname 'Usako' in so long I'd actually nearly forgotten about it. I felt his sincerity, but I still felt the need to protect my heart and not just give in. Even though I felt the need to accept it and go back to his place with him I knew that wasn't how this evening was going to end.
So, I told him, "Okay…fight for us. But don't think for a second that I'm going to come back easily." He swallowed but I could see he was preparing himself for a long journey ahead. Good cause it was going to be one. "Prove to me that your words aren't as hollow and void of actuality as the word of our enemies." He nodded as I said the last part as low as possible. I didn't need to be overheard.
Before he could get to excited about it, as I didn't want to get his hopes up…nor to be honest my own…I followed it with, "It doesn't mean were back together though." Not by a long shot. I wanted us back together believe me I wanted to run into his arms and have a passionate night together. I wanted to scream his name out in loving passion, to hear my name called out in the same manner.
I wanted all of it, but that would only happen once we were on the same page. We weren't there yet, and he needed to do a lot of work 'reading' to get to my part of the book…so to speak. "It means were mending this - " I indicated between the two of us, "If it can be mended. It's not going to be easy either. I've been going through my feelings for so long on to many things." I could see the hope still there in him though.
I could see how it was fleeting, how he was still suffering but compared to what I had to go through he was only getting a taste of it. I wouldn't be giving in so easily, "Dealing with so much from everyone. And other than a brief spat months ago you haven't even once asked me how I have been feeling. And till today you haven't even tried to do anything." Though could I really consider him punching my date in the face doing something?
I'd have to think on that one once I told Minako, Makoto and Ami what happened tonight. And I do mean everything that happened. Minako encouraged me to get back out there as Makoto did, I just didn't act on their advice till this evening. However, regarding Mamoru, I knew I still had to have that conversation. "We need to have a long discussion on things in private to get everything out." I tell him outright.
He agrees blindly to me. I guess anything at this point that gives him a fighting chance to win me back for a change. "Talk to me later so we can set up a time and date to meet and talk. But right now, I have to get back to my friends. And Mamoru…" his eyes never wavered from mine, "Don't you ever push my friends around again. Defending them from an enemy is one thing but seriously…" he puts his hands up in defense, "Tell them I'm sorry, but not him." he tells me as he faces towards Tyler, "He had it coming."
He leaves off before I can tell him Tyler didn't have it coming. Besides I needed to talk to him and be honest about that exchange, as much as I could anyways. "So sorry guys." I apologized on his behalf. "Since when does Mamoru act like a big dumb ape?" Umino asked me, "He normally doesn't." I defended, which was true, he normally DIDN'T act like that. "He did say though that he's sorry for pushing you guys."
They bleakly accepted the apology as I went up to Tyler, "And I'm sorry about this…" I was hesitant on touching the offended appendage. He didn't stop me from touching it though. "From what that looked like I'm guessing Ex-boyfriend." I sighed as I wanted to deny it, but I guess now I couldn't. "Looks like he still loves you." I sighed again, "Yeah…he does. Things are a bit complicated." I tell him.
"The relationship fell apart over different things that did and didn't happen that should have happened over the course of several months. So, I put us on a break of sorts which apparently means break up." which I had NO idea that was the case. Naru pointing that out hurt both myself and Mamoru as I really hadn't seen it that way. "He hurt you." He stated more than asked, "Yeah…not physically but yeah." I admitted.
I looked to Tyler. I liked him yes, there was no denying it either, and there were different directions this friendship could lead into. Yes, there was an attraction there, I could admit that now. However, was it something that could become stronger over time or was this it? Did I think there was something to it simply because it was something new and Mamoru was all I had ever know? Something deep within told me I already knew the answers to my questions, but I needed to live out the experiences for my own peace of mind.
"Being hurt emotionally and mentally is still painful though." He tells me as I touch his cheek. I feel so conflicted right now. On one hand I feel I should go be with Mamoru, to talk to him as we said we needed to many times, on the other hand Tyler just got punch in the face for me. It was already getting red and purple. Like it was glaring at me to tend to it. I felt so bad that it had even happened to begin with.
My guilt won out knowing I had to explain it to him anyways and at least apologize to him for what had just happened. What would his big brother say? Would they tell my parents? Would I be banned from seeing Mamoru again regardless of what happened? He really didn't think tonight through. "I really am sorry about this." I apologized. Then winced at my next request, "I don't suppose you could not tell your brother who it was that punched you." He looked at me in question.
I sighed, "He still does come around and help out with my cousin with school travels when I can't. It's a real big help to my parents." Though now that I think of it, he hadn't been around to do that in months. "I'll make sure it doesn't get back to your parents. Are you going to go talk to him?" he asked. I looked at him as he looked at me with concern, "Not tonight no. Tonight I'm with you guys." I assured him.
After thinking about it what type of girl would I be to bail out on him to go be with the guy who now looks like a complete jerk and is a bit of a jerk at times especially lately, when the guy he punched has been nothing but positive and kind towards me? How could I bail at a time like this? Yes, Mamoru and I needed to talk but it was already getting late and we would be leaving out soon. Plus, I had to get more things figured out now. I really hadn't expected these actions from Mamoru, so I had to rethink some things.
"We should get some ice on that." I tell him. He smiles, "I wish we'd met sooner." I looked up to him as we got to a vendor. Selling frozen treats, he had some ice that he was nice enough once he saw my date to put some in a few paper towels. I thanked him as I turned the nicely chilled pack of ice towards Tyler, "Yeah?" I near asked, "Yea…" he stops me from my movements with his hand now on mine. I blushed yet again.
"He never would have hurt you…in any form, I wouldn't have let him." the words were so sweet and I could tell, full of honesty. Despite Rei's thoughts on my instincts since they sometimes seemed childish or she didn't understand them much like how Luna was. For the longest time they were the biggest voters AGAINST Tuxedo Mask simply because his agenda didn't perfectly align with ours.
Both didn't trust him but neither also gave him the chance to be trusted. He was met with harsh demands, bold in your face accusations from them and I was told I was being too naïve and just having a silly crush that was jeopardizing the mission. My opinion hadn't majorly matter to them at the time and Luna went based solely off of her fractured memory that was still at that time heavily unreliable to make concrete decisions on a guy that had done nothing but help me and all of us time and time again.
Even IF He had been working with the enemy, why save all of us so often to the point where you nearly get yourself killed multiple times in the process? Luna and Rei's accusations had made zero sense to me. Don't accuse if you have no proof for back up. And at the end of the day he turned out to be the prince of earth and my love. My instincts were correct then and I know their right now, I had them for a reason and I believed Tyler's intent.
So when he leaned in to kiss me I started to let him, only to back away a little bit. Out of both slight guilt for Mamoru and fear of hurting him further. Though hurting his already bruised face or his feelings if in the end I couldn't truly reciprocate I wasn't sure on. He looked a tad hurt, "I don't want to hurt your face." I explained, giving him half the truth. He smiled, "You won't." he kissed me this time.
It was a simple one, but unlike the previous one where I started to feel a potential something this one felt almost wrong. Guilt started to come in a little bit after hearing a little Mamoru sounding voice begging me for a chance in my mind. Tyler didn't try anything further than that as we continued on with the night. When we parted way's he made sure he had my number so we could plan to hang out again.
Naru was happy for me but concerned regarding Mamoru to. I let her know he and I were going to talk things out but that I also had some stuff to sort out. I knew she knew what I meant as she and Umino let me go that evening back to my home. Tyler walked me back the rest of the way as the porch light was on. I gave him a hug and as I leaned back, he chased it with one last kiss. We parted ways as I opened my house door and walked in.
