CHAPTER XV: CONDEMN AND FORGIVE
Despite knowing that they had managed to push back Horde Prime's armies, Adora couldn't sleep. A storm of thoughts, doubts, hopes and fears kept swirling inside her mind. What would have been Prime's next move? How would they be able to stop him? And… what would it have taken to do so? How many lives…
"Stop… thinking!" Adora screamed into her pillow.
Tock Tock!
The sound made the blonde yelp in surprise and almost fall out of bed. She quickly scrambled out of her tangled sheets and reached her room's door. When she opened it, her eyes widened in surprise.
"Glimmer…" Adora whispered.
"Hey. Were you… were you sleeping?" Glimmer asked, crossing the blonde's gaze and immediately lowering her own to the floor.
"Not really… I was… thinking. Thinking a little too much if I have to be sincere." Adora chuckled, scratching the back of her head.
"I couldn't sleep either…" Glimmer muttered, shifting awkwardly on her feet.
"Do you… maybe… want to come in?"
Glimmer's eyes seemed to sparkle as Adora asked her to enter. A small smile grew on the young queen's face as she nodded. Both girls reached the blonde's thin mattress and sat down. A few moments of silence went by, then, just as Glimmer opened her mouth to start talking, Adora cut her off.
"I'm sorry…"
"W-what?"
"I'm sorry Glimmer."
"What are you even apologizing for?!" The young queen yelled in disbelief as she suddenly stood up, her arms outstretched.
"When your mom… when your mom left us, I wanted to be there for you, to protect you. Turns out, what you really needed was someone to believe in you and… I always did but… not in a way that would make you feel like you could do things on your own, like you were strong enough to be queen. I wanted to protect you but I only pushed you away. I'm so-"
"Are you crazy?!"
"G-Glimmer I-" Adora's eyes widened in surprise at Glimmer's outburst.
"I'm the one who should be apologizing! I'm the one that told you that you weren't enough… you are!"
"Glimmer, listen-"
"No! You listen! I… I blamed you for my mom's death…" Glimmer sat next to Adora and took the blonde's hands in her own, tears now pouring down her eyes. "I blamed you… my best friend… and I broke your heart, don't tell me I didn't because the look you gave me that day… the second you looked at me I realized what a horrible mistake I made."
"If I was stronger… maybe I could have stayed. Now you'd have your mom and-" Adora averted her gaze as tears started well up in her eyes.
"My mom made a choice!" Glimmer suddenly shouted.
"Glimmer…"
"I have to face the truth. I can't find any excuses, let alone blame it on someone I love. My mom left us… left me… she did it to save us all but that doesn't change the fact that she chose to leave me. You didn't kill her, Catra didn't kill her. She made her choice and… even if it hurts so much… I should have never blamed it on you Adora. You're the one good thing that happened to me in a long time."
"Oh, Glimmer… I…"
"I know. I know I broke your heart, and I know that even if I want to, with all my heart, I will never be able to erase those words… I'd… I'd understand if you wanted to never speak to me again just… please, know that I was angry a-and I was trying to avoid to see the truth so that it would hurt less and I-" Glimmer started rambling, but she stopped as Adora squeezed her hands and called her name.
"Glimmer."
"W-what is it?"
"I have already forgiven you." Adora sniffed, giving the young queen a small yet warm smile.
"W-what?!"
"When the Heart activated… a small part of me believed it was the end… for me, for everyone I cared for, for Etheria… but… I couldn't accept it. I couldn't accept that everything would end like that, with me being apart from my friends, with the Horde still trying to take over Etheria… with Catra still being so keen on taking her revenge against me. I wanted to fix it all, but… most of all I… I wanted to see you again and fix… and fix us."
Glimmer suddenly broke into a fit of teary laughter.
"W-what are you laughing about?" Adora asked as her own smile began to stretch wider.
"N-nothing, nothing, sorry but… when the Heart activated, that's exactly what I was thinking about too."
Adora remained silent for a few instants, before a giggle left her lips, then another, until she too broke into a fit of laughter. She moved close to the Young Queen and brought her into a tight embrace. Glimmer gasped in surprise, and when she felt the blonde starting to let go, being afraid of the hug being too much after such a long time spent apart… she immediately wrapped her arms around Adora, holding her just as tightly.
The two remained locked in their embrace for a while before letting go, both letting themselves fall backwards on Adora's mattress.
"It was you wasn't it? Who stopped it…" Glimmer murmured.
"You mean… the Heart?"
"Yeah…"
"Yes, it was me… I… I had to break the sword but… I did it." Adora confessed, her smile growing sadder, she knew she had done the right thing, but she also knew that when she broke the sword, a part of her died with it.
"Adora I-"
"Glimmer… it's fine."
"F-fine?! But what about She-Ra and-" Glimmer stuttered in a worried tone of voice, but as Adora cupped her face, she stopped.
"Glimmer… you're here. Bow's here, your dad's here, everyone is safe. That's enough for me."
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry you lost She-Ra because of me…"
"Hey." Adora's voice suddenly became stern.
"W-what?" Glimmer asked, a little taken aback by the blonde's tone.
"I chose to lose She-Ra, so that we alongside countless worlds and stars could be saved. It was my decision Glimmer, just like your mom chose to close the portal to save us. I… I won't blame myself for what happened to her… but you must promise me you won't blame yourself for the loss of She-Ra… deal?" Adora smiled encouragingly.
"Deal." Glimmer answered, smiling and wiping away a tear.
A few moments passed before Glimmer spoke again.
"You… you want to try and fix things with her too, don't you?"
"I… I don't think I can bring myself not to try." A sad chuckle left Adora's lips.
"She doesn't hate you." Glimmer said, her voice kind and encouraging as she squeezed the blonde's hand.
"I think I'd disagree."
"No really, I know she'd never admit it, I think she'd rather jump down my room's balcony… but… something tells me she never truly forgot about you. I don't think she has ever managed to leave behind her past with you."
"Do you know where your dad has taken her?" Adora asked, not trying to hide the hope in her voice.
"Yeah, one of the spare rooms, come on, I'll take you there."
"Glimmer…"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you, and… I'm glad we talked…"
"I'm glad too…" Glimmer smiled warmly before taking Adora's hand.
Both girls vanished from the room in a puff of pink, glittering smoke.
͠
"Is she asleep?"
"Yes…"
"Katrina, I know that look… what's wrong?"
"Mathias… I have a bad feeling…"
"About what?"
"Things have been too calm lately…"
"Is this about the Horde?"
"Yes…"
"Angella will listen to you if we talk to her together. I know what they've been doing all these years. I was one of them, remember?"
"Even when you were there, you've never been a Horde soldier. I know it. You've never done what they did."
"They did what they did because they were afraid… afraid of Hordak, afraid of losing their loved ones. I was just lucky enough not to be asked to do what others were forced to."
"I refuse to believe it. You would have died instead of following his orders."
"Katrina… I…"
"But it doesn't matter, you're here now. You're here, I'm here and… she's here."
"Let me speak with Angella, she'll trust me."
"No, she won't hear reason, she didn't listen to her best friend, she won't listen to you. We're alone in this."
"Then, if the Horde comes, we'll fight them even if we have to do it alone. For us, for our family, for your people."
"For you, my little bundle of joy…"
"Our little Catra…"
Catra's eyes fluttered open. She sat up quickly, groaning as felt her head throb painfully. That dream… it was like if she knew those voices. But it was impossible, how could she remember something that never happened? But it felt… it felt so real…
Why hadn't she ever dreamt of those voices before?
"It was just a dream, nothing more…" Catra whispered to herself.
She looked around, checking her surroundings as she tried to understand where she ended up. The mattress underneath her was far too soft to be the one she slept on in the Horde. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, she found out that it was far larger than her and Sparkle's cell on Horde Prime's ship. Its walls weren't painted in the same cold, tasteless white, but in a nice light ocher. It gave Catra a strange sense of warmth.
However, despite the comforts of the room she had woken up in, as the feline jumped off the bed and took a step towards the room's door, she yelped in pain as her hand made contact with a barrier made of light. She turned around only to notice that the wall circled her bed, and as she looked up, Catra realized that it was as tall as the room's ceiling. She could have never gotten out of there. Then, as her eyes landed on the pink curtains of the chamber's balcony she realized. A large, comfortable room, with a nice bed and pink curtains used as a cell?
Yep, she had to be in Bright Moon.
"Of course." Catra groaned.
Then, it all came back to her. Horde Prime trying to take by force the information he needed, her resisting until the tyrant couldn't almost stand on his own anymore, the clones taking her back to Sparkles… Adora, Scorpia and the princesses saving them… Adora and Scorpia…
"Why didn't they leave me there?" Catra mumbled to herself as she stared blankly at nothing.
And as Catra kept wondering why the princesses, why Adora had taken her to Bright Moon, she didn't notice that she wasn't alone anymore, that someone had just entered the room and heard her. The figure emerged from the darkness as the cat girl's gaze was still lost into nothingness.
"Do you really think I would have left you there?"
Catra yelped in surprise as she quickly raised her gaze. Her eyes focused on the person who had just managed to sneak up on her. Tall, blonde hair, a nervous, small smile on her face.
Adora…
"Considering you've already done it in the past, it wouldn't have surprised me."
"I never left you to die, I'd never do it… even… even if you hadn't done what you did for Glimmer."
"And what did I do for Sparkles exactly?" Catra chuckled darkly.
"You saved her life." Adora stated.
"I saved myself." The feline said, a smug smirk appearing on her face.
"Damn it Catra!" The blonde suddenly yelled in frustration.
Catra's smirk actually vanished, a puzzled expression replacing it.
"I hate it when you do that!"
"Uh… what?! When I do what?!" Catra shouted back, both in anger and confusion.
"Lying! You always did! Even back when I was in the Horde, whenever something bad happened to you you'd never tell me the truth."
"Oh, of course now, always the black sheep's fault isn't it?" The feline said mockingly.
"W-what are you talking about?! I'm not blaming you for anything! I just want to know-"
"What?! What do you want me to say Adora, huh?!"
"I want you to tell me why you saved her." Adora demanded in a stern tone of voice.
Catra scoffed at that, turning her head to the side, averting her gaze from Adora.
"You can't run this time, you can't escape, and I won't go away until you tell me." Adora took a step forwards and pointed at her.
"Why do have to be so annoying?!" Catra grunted in frustration, pulling her hair.
"Because I thought I had lost you!"
Silence fell over the room. After a few, tense, endless instants, Catra spoke.
"What are you talking about?"
"After everything that happened, after the portal… I thought that the Catra I knew was gone forever. But when Glimmer told me you saved her… I finally understood that the girl I grew up with is still alive."
"That girl is long gone Adora." Catra shook her head.
"No, she's not."
"Oh, and who are you to say who I am now, huh?! You left and now you think you know me better than myself?!"
"Apparently, yes!" Adora yelled, waving her arms in the air.
Catra stared blankly at the blonde, her mouth slightly agape.
"If this freaking wall wasn't here I'd… I'd-"
"What?! What would you do?! I'm listening…"
"I… I… gah! I hate you so much!" Catra cried as she punched her pillow.
"I don't care, you're still going to tell me."
"I already told you why I did it."
"You lied." Adora crossed her arms.
"Then enlighten me miss smart ass, why would I ever save the queen of the Rebellion?" Catra snarled.
"You saved her because even if you act as the bad guy, I don't think that's who you are. Remember when I fell into your trap? When I told you that I would have never let you hurt anyone else, not after what happened with the portal, I remember the look you gave me." Adora's expression turned from stern to understanding, compassionate.
Catra hated that.
"Y-you're just imagining things." Catra shot back, although she couldn't prevent her voice from wavering.
"No, I didn't imagine that look. I saw all the guilt, the regret, the pain you were feeling. You are good at many things but lying and hiding your emotions? You've never been convincing. You did what you did because you wanted to redeem yourself."
Catra remained silent, she let out a shaky breath and shut her eyes tightly.
"That's what happened, isn't it?"
"And what if that's what happened?! What could possibly change?!" Catra suddenly jumped off her bed, now mere inches from the magical barrier.
"Then I'd know you're still my Catra… that we could-"
Catra broke into a long, dark laughter.
"What? Fix things? As if that was possible."
Adora shifted awkwardly on her feet, a flash of pain appearing on her face.
"Wouldn't you like to go back?" The blonde offered weakly.
Catra felt her blood boiling. How dare Adora say that to her? How dare she offer such a thing? How dare she even thing about going back after she was the one who ruined everything?!
"We wouldn't need to go back if you had stayed!"
The blonde looked away and Catra noticed how her eyes clearly reflected what she was feeling…
Guilt…
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry I broke our promise." Adora's voice was barely more audible than a whisper.
"Oh no, you don't get to destroy the only thing I clung to as we grew up and then simply say that you're sorry! You can't fix what you did!" Catra pointed at the blonde accusingly.
"What should I have done?! After seeing what the Horde was doing I couldn't stay! I had to go away! I had to fight them! And what about you?! If being with me was so important then why didn't you come with me?!"
"Wasn't I enough to make you stay?!" Catra screamed at the top of her lungs, a single tear streaming down her cheek.
Silence.
Adora's eyes widened, her anger immediately dying down. Is that… it that why Catra had stayed behind? Is that how Catra felt when she left her? As if she wasn't enough for her?
"Catra… I…" Adora whispered as she took a step towards her.
"Please… please just… just leave me alone…" Catra climbed on top of her bed and hugged her knees, turning her back on Adora.
"Catra…"
"Please…" Catra whispered, but even if her voice was barely audible, Adora managed to hear it breaking.
"Alright… I'll… I'll just go…"
Adora walked up to the room's door, hesitating for a moment before opening it.
"Goodnight Catra." The blonde said without turning around, before walking out the room.
So here we are! THEY… FINALLY… TALKED! With… uhmm… slightly bad results but wait for it! You know things will get better… or will they? At least they got better with Glimmer! Shut up! I didn't tear up while writing their dialogue! Oh! Wait wait wait! Before I go, I need to tell you something! Do you know who's gonna talk in the next chapter? Catra and-
