Chapter 17: Darkness Bleeds Into Gray


A boy of ten years old opened his eyes. The voices inside his head woke him from his sound sleep, again.

He moved about his day, sitting at the table while his mother poured over a datapad as per usual. Midday sunshine shone through the tall windows looking out to the rest of the civilization of Chandrila.

Something awoke. Something strong. The boy was shaking for a moment before it halted.

"Ben?" his mother said, looking up for once from her datapad. "You alright?"

Finally. Attention. "I… I guess?"

Ben was always sensitive to the force for as long as he could remember. The feeling of every living being breathing and the planet he lived on itself feeling alive sometimes overwhelmed his sensitive soul.

His mother was rarely around on days like this. His father even less so.

Even so, Ben couldn't help but feel something new. Something warm. A light. He didn't know what it was. But it soothed the ache, the want for company. The desperate plea within him to not be so lonely.

Ten years old and Ben Organa-Solo felt a connection tied to his very being.

One day, in a fateful forest, in his pursuit for twisted revenge, the darker side of Ben Solo—Kylo Ren, would finally find that light.


Finn watched as Ben Solo's TIE-Silencer took off from the hangar of the Finalizer. There were so many questions and answers to be had, but Finn couldn't help but just silently watch.

After Ben ordered that Cardo Ren be immediately put in a bacta tank, he took a shuttle back to the Finalizer to regroup with the rest of the Resistance, only to put Poe and Mitaka back in charge and left without another word.

Finn knew why he left again. And this time, Finn was terrified of the outcome. If Ben returned alone or never did, that meant only two things.

Somehow, he was also sad if only Rey returned.

Finn once asked Rey, rather jokingly at the time, if Rey had a boyfriend. In hindsight, he was mildly interested in her and was being nosy. She snapped with a none-of-your-business remark. It took Maz a moment to explain to him what it all meant. She was waiting for parents who weren't coming back for her.

Finn was new to this force business still, but one thing was for certain, he hoped that the force brought both of them back, because he wanted Rey to be happy.

It was what she deserved.


Ben still despised Exegol.

Landing near the same spot as before, the whispers of the Sith came back, caressing his ears, trying to get inside his mind. Attempting to ignore them, Ben stepped out of his TIE-Silencer and adjusted himself. He clipped his cape off and shoved it into a small compartment. Then he removed his tunic and pulled on the back sheath, reaching back and sliding his grandfather's legacy saber in the leather hold. His sweater hung loose over his broad shoulders, only held in place by the sheath.

Igniting his red lightsaber for light, he stepped into the darkness once more, following the path he took before. The lights above still darted between clouds. The force rippled around Ben. He breathed in and out in steady gasps.

You won't succeed. You will turn back to the dark. The girl is ours now. Turn back.

His thoughts turned to his mother; her comforting force signature easing away the worries of a forced legacy, but always far away. To his father who taught him how to fly a ship using the Millennium Falcon. Those memories, though fleeting, so distant, kept the whispers of the evil dark at bay. They couldn't use them against him.

He stopped halfway down the path leading to the area where Vicrul tried to attack him with lightning.

Leaning against the wall was a rather young man in Jedi robes, a blue aura about his translucent form. His hair curled the same way Ben's did.

Another force-ghost? Really? "Who are you?" Ben asked, not sure if he can handle more great Jedi words of wisdom again. "And how am I able to see you in this place?"

"My name is Anakin Skywalker," he introduced himself. "You called out to me, asking for Darth Vader, but I couldn't answer."

Did Ben really need this right now? "Why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to… See."

"See what?"

Anakin sighed. "My biggest regret, my greatest failure, was not being there for my wife. For my children. For my own grandson. Save Rey, Ben Solo. The dyad can make this right."

Anakin was gone before Ben could really say anything. He still felt the presence of Anakin in the force. Of the past Jedi masters he had encountered.

"May the force be with you. Always."

Letting the positive memories flow, Ben took careful steps into the clearing and was greeted by a sight that stole his breath away.

She was sitting on her throne with the holocron in her hand, the two traitor Knights of Ren standing by her side.

Ben clicked off his lightsaber. "Rey," he said, his voice raw and trembling. "I can feel the light within you. Please…"

Rey kept her gaze upon him, eyes intense with a hint of gold within.

Vicrul laughed with mockery. "You had your chances long ago. Now look at you, weak, feeble, pathetic. The Sith shall be resurrected with your end."

The two Knights reached for their lightsabers, but Rey raised her hand to halt them. She stood up from her throne. "Leave him; I will deal with Kylo Ren myself."

Ben reached out with his hand; to Rey's broken and lonely soul to soothe her cries. "I feel the conflict in you. It's tearing you apart." He took careful steps towards her. "I've been down this path Rey, it doesn't help. It never helps."

Rey activated her lightsaber. "Your words mean nothing to me now."

Ben's fingers trembled as he reached behind his back for his lightsaber, pushing his thoughts into their bond.

You mean everything to me.

Rey clenched her teeth.

Empty! Meaningless! You're lying!

If I am lying then take my mind. See all of it.

Never.

She raised her double-bladed lightsaber at him. A twinge of regret twitched in the movement. She placed the holocron on the armrest of the throne with a flick of her hand and turned her attention to Ben. The Rey he knew was still inside. This was a mere mask forced upon her by pure evil.

A slash. Ben blocked it, blue bleeding onto red.

Rey angled the other end of her blade to get his flank. Ben halted it in mid-air. Jumping back, he planted his feet in a firm stance as Rey charged at him with a battle cry. With a spin, Ben was able to deflect her continuous jabs, taking careful footsteps back as her full rage and sorrow took control of her body.

Their bond shook, trying to bridge the disharmony into something stable.

I tried so hard to reach you but everything fell deaf on ears.

Rey…

All I wanted was you to see...

Rey…

I shouldn't have believed. I was a fool!

Ben was slipping in his grip, his internal pleas not even being heard in the bond. His eyes darted to that damned holocron, glinting in the dull darkness of Exegol.

One chance.

His only chance.

Ben sidestepped Rey in her one-second lapse and pulled upon his anger towards the Sith for what they had done to Rey. What they were trying to strip away from her. The holocron flew in front of him and instead of raising his lightsaber to block her incoming swing; he merely took a step back.

The red of the saber collided with gold and sent it shattering into splinters. Rey's eyes widened in uncontrolled rage.

"You're a fool, Kylo Ren!" Vicrul snarled, ready to join into the fray.

Rey raised her hand and halted both Knights into place. "He's mine."

Ben flinched back as her lightsaber grazed his chest again; reopening the same wound she gave him on Kef Bir, but not as deep. The burn seared across his skin. He fell to one knee, battered off balance.

Rey grazed the metal of Ben's lightsaber, knocking it out of his grasp. Ben left her no opening. His red lightsaber in hand, he parried her staff-saber to the point he was able to knock it out of her grip completely.

Rey tackled him to the ground, pinning his hands and trying to tug the red lightsaber out of his grasp.

Ah, how they were once locked into such an embrace, long ago, in a snowy forest in the heat of anguish and grief. The force sang then, and it sang now.

Breathe.

Ben thought.

Just.

Breathe.

Ben pushed Rey off of him with the force, but she took something in return, yanking Ben's bleeding lightsaber into her own hand. Ben rolled over, getting up to his knees.

Looming over him, Rey was ready, the lightsaber pointed at his chin. Never had Ben feared his own weapon so much before, what it implied. With his death, the light in Rey would be dead. Their bond would be severed. "When I finish you, I will have killed the Last Skywalker," she declared, her voice low and deadly. That sparked something in Ben, something he realized. The real Rey was within.

This isn't you, Ben thought in their bond. Please come back, Rey. The woman I know has fire and compassion. You showed me everything and more.

Vicrul urged her on. "Finish him and resurrect the Sith at last!"

His lightsaber trembled in her hand, the red beam still crackling with power near his face. She was hesitating. Her words were mere posturing at this point. Looking up into her eyes, he brushed against her mind, pushing an image of his vision on Pasaana into her head. He was met with one singular thought.

I don't want to be alone, please...

"Rey," Ben said, his breath ragged and short. A single tear slipped down his cheek. "No matter what happens, I'll come back for you sweetheart, I promise."

Her hands quivered. The golden specks of color in her eyes were blinked away. Realization slowly melted the malice off her face. Warmth rushed through their bond, piercing through all the whispers swirling around the duo.

She too, had a single tear slip her cheek. With a breathless intimacy, she spoke.

"Ben."

The saber fell out of her grasp.

"Ben," she said again. And again, her voice trying not to break into a sob. "Ben… It is you. It's… Always been you."

He stood up, picking up his saber.

She looked at him as if she was seeing him for the very first time.

Ben reached his hand up and brushed the tear away with his thumb. He gave a few words of reassurance. "I'm here now, sweetheart."

Their loving gaze was broken by the sound of two lightsabers igniting.

"How adorable, how pathetic!" Vicrul snarled, his voice laced with that of booming power. "The dyad must die in order for the Sith to continue on!"

Ushar and Vicrul encircled the pair. Ben shoved his lightsaber into Rey's hand, understanding humming between them. Ben reached out with his own hand and tugged his grandfather's saber to his grasp. The duo turned away, back to back, together, ready to finish this nightmare.

This was their dyad. It was all theirs. It belonged to no one else.

"You could have joined us, the both of you," Ushar said.

Ben shrugged at him. "I could have said the same to you."

Rey clashed with Vicrul, Ben clashed with Ushar.

Their harmony swirled into something new. The adrenaline of trust and union in the throne room of the Supremacy was ten-fold now. Rey side-stepped Vicrul's stab. Ben dodged one swipe of Ushar's lightsaber. Rey came at Vicrul from his flank and bashed into his lightsaber. Vicrul slid out and the two encircled each other.

Rey still felt the darkness in her ears, pushing at her guilt.

You almost killed him! He bears a scar because of you!

She stepped back one pace, trying to regain control of herself and her mess of thoughts.

Use your memories Rey, Ben thought to her. Think of them. Hold on to me.

Heeding his words, she breathed in and out, recalling her precious few happy memories. Her memories Of Finn telling being straight-laced as Poe explained some jokes to him. Of Rose silently working beside her on the Falcon. Of Chewie supporting her choice to go to Ben Solo. Of Leia hugging her. The strongest one of all was Ben's light shining through in a small hut on an island she dreamed about for years. His words, clear, gentle, laced with sincerity.

You're not alone.

That wasn't her memory. That was Ben, right now, speaking to her through the bond.

Neither are you, she thought back.

Something was wrong. Vicrul charged again and locked his blade with hers. Sparks of electricity danced between his fingers. Rey glared him down, her gut twisting at the electricity flickering along the two lightsabers.

"The Sith offered me the true ways of the force. You could have had it all!" Vicrul snarled out, his golden eyes red-rimmed and glinting with derangement.

All she wanted was right behind her, supporting her every step of the way. "No," she pressed back, her voice even with underlying fire. "I don't need it."

Ben kicked down Ushar, using the force to remove the man's helmet. Ushar glared as he struck back, swinging with no control. Ben parried each strike with considerable ease.

"Lord Ren wasted his efforts upon you. You killed our master and for what?" Ushar questioned. "So you would turn back? You turned on all of us, your legacy."

Ben looked at his opponent with pity, twisting his lightsaber at an angle to put pressure on Ushar's hands with another deflection. "I didn't want my legacy." He jumped up and over, landing behind Ushar and plunged his saber into Ushar's back.

Ushar fell to his knees, gone in an instant.

Ben sensed the panic in the bond.

Rey struggled to hold onto her lightsaber, her hair falling free from her hood as the wind picked up around her and Vicrul. The whispers were getting unbearable in her ears. So loud. So desperate.

You're still nothing!

You have no family.

You have nothing.

The electricity bounced between them. Rey struggled to hold on, her arms trembling.

A hand on her waist kept her steady. The blue of the legacy lightsaber pushed up against the red of the crossguard, applying a ward of protection. Ben focused back on the lightning with her. The crack and sparks tore at their lightsabers. Rey's nerves were on fire from the pain, little shocks trailing up her arm.

The dyad pushed back. They breathed in and out with the force pulsing between them, through them.

No more separation, they both said to each other, the silence saying enough.

The pressure built and built, the lightning dancing out towards Ben and Rey.

Rey never felt so terrified in her life. Not when she was starving on Jakku, not when first kidnapped into the arms of Kylo Ren, not when she faced Snoke and thought she was going to die.

"Ben!" She screamed, shoving him back with the force.

It snapped. The lightning bounced off of their sabers and right into Vicrul. A shockwave of pure energy shoved her down to the ground, her nerves and fingers numb and fried. The lingering energy crackled into the air, shocking through the clouds.

Rey had no idea what had just happened as she laid upon the ground, everything happening in a blur. Her limbs twitched. Electricity was ringing in her ears. The whispers hushed. She couldn't move. She couldn't even think, except for one thing.

Ben?

Her body stilled. Her breathing ceased.


Empty.

Ben was empty.

One moment the lightning was surging through their lightsabers, the next, the dyad had harmonized and the force pushed back.

But that didn't matter to Ben. He was on the ground, his heart numb and his soul empty. All he could think of was Rey.

Rey?

Nothing.

A lump formed in his throat. This was different from when she separated herself from the force. That was a mere strain. This empty feeling felt like something was broken beyond repair. The other half of his being was simply gone.

He had to get up. He had to find her. His leg throbbed in ache. He didn't care. Pushing himself up, Ben spotted her body on the ground several feet away. He limped, grunting in pain. Falling on his knees, he choked back a sob. He had to get to Rey. He had to. When he came upon her finally—finally—he fell to the ground and picked her up, laying her in his lap.

She was cold in his grasp. Too cold. She wasn't breathing. The fiery light in her eyes was ashes now. Her heart had gone still. Her force-signature vanished, like a star that had died.

He choked, pulling her into his grasp.

Their dyad was one whole for only a moment and it was taken away.

Ben pulled back and placed his hand on her abdomen while supporting her neck with his other hand. He breathed in and out, letting his life force breathe into her. Using the force in this way was as easy as just breathing.

Ben closed his eyes in concentration.

Heal.

There was no one else with them. No one else to save her.

We are one.

He held back his tears, too exhausted and broken to even cry.

Please come back to me.

He could have given everything in that moment to see life in her eyes one more time. Anything, for her.

Please.

Something brushed against the back of his hand, nimble fingers feeling his skin. His eyes snapped open and his breath caught in his throat. The fiery light within Rey's eyes returned.

And suddenly he was one whole once more. Her force signature shined so bright with a warmth that comforted him even in the darkest years of his life. Ben could feel her, in his hands, in the force, everywhere. Her hand was clutching at his.

She sat up, looking at Ben in a panic then sharp relief.

"Rey," he said, breathlessly, winded from the amount of energy he had put into reviving his soulmate. Her hand reached up to cup his cheek, his other hand still remaining on her stomach.

She gazed at him with a look that he had seen once before in the hut, face illuminated by a fire. Ben wasn't sure what this look was exactly, but his eyes darted to her lips and back to her eyes.

Rey was smiling. Smiling. "Ben."

"I thought… I thought I lost you," Ben mumbled. "I…"

"I thought I did too, but…" Her smile drifted off her lips. "I'm so sorry. I hurt you." Her hand went down to his chest, which he had forgotten about the burn in the rush of adrenaline and heartbreak. "I did this to you. I almost…"

Ben grabbed her hand. "Sweetheart, I forgive you."

Rey's eyes misted over, looking at his lips before looking back to his eyes. Those same, strong, expressive eyes. She recalled being mesmerized by his eyes the day they met. Dark. Rich. So full of emotion, betraying the interior he desperately wanted to shun away for so long.

She could feel his soul as one, no longer split into two halves tugging at each other in a crying conflict. And Rey supposed she didn't feel the conflict in herself anymore either. It hurt to think she tried to sever this, this oneness from herself forever. Rey, at the end of all things, finally found the belonging ahead of her.

This was all she ever wanted. To be wanted. To be loved. He never left her behind, not once. He came for her even in her darkest hour. He chose her.

She reached her free hand up to entangle into his hair, the two of them exchanging soft glances at the other's lips. With a surge of want, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

Soft. Her lips were so soft. His heart pounded as he clutched her closer, savoring the sweet feeling of her lips, the taste, the way she slightly moved her mouth against his in curiosity. His fingers on her neck gently applied pressure, the kiss deepening, lips between lips, a slight tease of more. Underlying passion bubbled beneath the surface.

Rey pulled away for air, Ben leaning forward trying to chase her lips for one moment before opening his eyes.

And Rey saw it. It was so breathtaking; it was beautiful beyond compare to anywhere she had been in the galaxy.

His smile.

The stars dotting a sea of endless darkness couldn't compare to Ben's smile. She loved that smile so much, she wanted to kiss it over and over.

I don't hear any more whispers, he thought.

Neither do I, she answered in turn.

Rey smiled. The two sat in a comfortable silence, holding each other, taking in the moment, the new reality set forth in front of them. There were no more voices dictating their paths and choices. The dyad was free. The force was finally balanced.

She leaned her forehead against his.

Sorry for losing faith.

Sorry for pushing you to it.

We're both very stupid, aren't we?

Yes, we are.

The two of them laughed; Rey's a joyous, melodious laugh, Ben's a low rumble but no less full of unbridled happiness. He halted in the midst of their laughter to reach over to Rey's arm, tugging away the leather that obscured her red marking.

"It's our symbol," he whispered.

She kissed him again, this time with unwavering fervor. He kissed her back with no hesitation.


Leia was looking over the various reports back on Ajan Kloss. They all needed approval from the Supreme Leader, and she wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

The Resistance returned with exuberant smiles in their secured victory. Leia had gone back to the base prior to the assault and waited with bated breath the results of the massive endeavor.

Poe came back. Finn came back. Rose came back.

Her son had not come back.

For a moment, something flickered away in the force. Leia couldn't tell if it was Ben or Rey's signature that died out. Her heart, ailing with ache, hoped that wasn't the case.

"General Organa!" Rose Tico barged into her room. "It's your son."

Without a word, Leia stood up from her desk and made way outside to see a ship landing in the bay.

Rose and Finn rushed over as the hatch opened up. Out stepped a limping Ben Solo, his face bruised and mildly bloodied on one side, his clothes simple and minimal in comparison to his attire as Kylo Ren.

At his side, clutching his hand, was Rey. She was dressed in black robes, her hair completely down and brushing against her shoulders.

And they were both smiling. A rare sight.

Leia watched as Rey ran forward and hugged Finn then Rose. Poe watched the exchange by Leia's side, a grin on his lips as Rey explained some of the details revolving around her and Ben's miraculous return.

Maz Kanata joined her as well. "Finally, the dyad is whole."

"So how long until you think you'll be attending their wedding?" Poe joked.

Leia rolled her eyes. "One thing at a time first."

With how Ben looked upon Rey with such love and adoration, Leia wouldn't be surprised if he was ready to propose right then and there.


In a way, he did propose.

Rey was working on the Falcon once again, this time with Chewie doing the heavy lifting while Lando was aboard, testing things.

Ben watched from afar, his nerves rising. All the ridiculous meetings and discussion of what to do with the remnants of the First Order—the discussion of the repercussions of his actions being among other things—had left Ben with little time to spend with Rey for an entire week. The only comfort he got with her is being able to sleep at her side at night, holding her hand.

He sometimes between meetings eavesdropped on the conversations of various Resistance members in curiosity, only to get annoyed at what they were talking about.

"Kylo Ren in love with the Last Jedi? I thought Poe was joking!"

"I mean have you seen him look at her? He has the hots for her badly."

"I envy her. Who wouldn't want to climb that?"

Did the slowly disbanding Resistance really have nothing better to do now the war was over except gossip about his love life?

"Rey?" he called her to attention as he approached. "Can we talk?"

Rey looked up from her work. She still wore black robes and still kept her hair down, but she no longer carried herself with raw anger and she shied away from a black cloak. She smiled—ah that sunshine smile—and nodded. "Of course Ben."

He led her to the woods for some privacy away from the nosy Resistance and sat her down on the same rock she used to meditate for months with.

"Rey I…" Ben sighed, brushing his hair back. "I saw your message."

Rey's eyes widened. "Y-You did?"

"Yes, I did. I want to discover this dyad. I want to learn about it… With you. Just you. Everything right now with the galaxy is such a mess and there's so much to be done, but afterward..." He took a shaking breath, feeling like he was back in the throne room again. "Will you join me in all this?" He extended his hand to her as he did all those months ago. "Please?"

Rey's throat got tight, tears brimming on the edge of her eyes. She reached without hesitation his hand. "Yes, Ben. I will. I will follow wherever you go, even if it's to boring meetings, even if it's the end of all things. I want you. Just you."

He pulled her into a hug, burying his nose into her sweet-smelling locks. "Thank you." His embrace was so warm. Sturdy even. Being held by Ben Solo felt like home to Rey.

Because she was home whenever they were together. She belonged.


A/N: Ahhh, at the end of all things. Epilogue incoming because I felt this chapter was mostly Ben and Rey's moment more than anything else.

Thank you all so, so much for the support and follows on this! And all the reviews. 2 months ago I started writing this story because I was utterly devastated and so angry with how it all ended with TROS, but now I'm gradually starting to heal. More Reylo fics incoming from me including updates to I Won't Stay Silent and more.