So...I just realized something. The Black Widow movie, which I am super excited for, probably will yeet this story out the window and tell us what happened. Which is fine. But I think I might make this my second to the last chapter, there's still one thing that needs to be addressed. But I don't know, should I keep going with the story or stop now. I could also just post a series of one-shots. It's whatever you guys want. Anyway, a special thanks to Katie McAlpine! Your reviews were quite encouraging and amusing! And every one of my faithful viewers! Enjoy the story!


Chapter 21: The Epic chapter in which Epic stuff occurs. Epic music recommended

"You think you know me? Do you think you can mess with my mind? Well, let me tell you something. You don't know anything about me." Nat then went against every fiber of her being and ran.


Doom blinked. That was...not at all what he had expected. He shrugged and fired at her back but she had already ducked behind a building. Well, there was one toy gone, he would just have to settle for imagining her guilt eating her up from the inside. He wasn't going to bother scrambling his guards together, she would never let herself be caught by them anyway.

He turned and snapped at the young guard who stumbled out of the building, attracted by the shots and sound of fighting. "Glad to see you've woken up from your nap, was it enjoyable? The man froze. He slowly nodded then quickly shook his head. He tried to stutter out a defense, but it was too late, Doom had fired off three rounds into his chest. "You'll have plenty of time to sleep now." He murmured, then grabbed Hawkeye by the back of his shirt and dragged him inside, leaving his dogs to deal with the young soldier.


Nat climbed the building she had ducked behind, racing towards the room Doom reserved for "entertaining" his "guests." She had a plan that Doom would never guess. She reached her destination, hiding in the room, and calmed her breathing. Only a few seconds after she settled into her nice cozy air vent, Doom dragged Clint into the room and dumped him on the floor. Four guards scrambled to hang him from chains on the ceiling. Natasha inwardly winced, she knew how painful it was when you got out of that position. Clint was going to be sore for a while. But not for long, because Nat had a plan. She was counting on her greatest strength, being underestimated. Doom would assume that she would wait for back up, then try to get Clint back, because that's what she would do if she still thought like a KGB operative. Doom still thought of her as the young girl who had betrayed him, but he was going to change his mind quickly. She forced herself to wait and watch as Doom toyed with her partner, but that wasn't going to last for long.


Doom ordered his guards to wake the man up and threw a bucket of snow and water on him. He sputtered and thrashed, managing to kick one of the guards in the head, knocking him back. Doom grumbled and shoved the fool aside. He marched up to Clint, who panted but maintained steady eye contact. "So," Doom chuckled. "You're my prisoner, all alone, without your little friend. How does it feel to be at the bottom of the food chain...again?" The man jerked his head up, eyes blazing with rage.

"What did you do to her?" He growled quietly.

"Don't worry!" Doom laughed. "She'll be fine! After all, you can't kill a dead man! Or should I say, woman?"

Clint snarled. "You're lying! What did you do to her? I kill you son of a b-" His tirade was cut off as Doom grabbed his throat, squeezing tight to cut off his air.

"That's enough. You speak when I say you speak okay? There's a good little birdy." He let go slowly. Clint gasped, looked him dead in the eye, and spit in his face. Doom wiped the spit off and slapped him across the face, leaving ugly gashes. Barton hissed, in pain and in rage, glaring back. Then he fell back to an old old friend. Humor.

"Well well, I see you're still letting 'Mother Russia' use you like a puppet. You know, I heard it's possible for guys to let their minds just go blank, but man! You take it to a whole new level!" He added his best Russian accent to the words "Mother Russia" and heard a snicker from a guard in the back. The Doctor whirled to catch the offender but Doom had the exact reaction he had hoped. Clint knew this man, he may be hidden behind armor and amazing strength. And be a completely different person. But he knew him. He was Barney. A bully and a coward at heart and so he cracked jokes, and teased him, waiting for him to break.


Nat meanwhile was busy thumping her head on the floor of the air vent. She knew what that idiot was trying to do but she couldn't stand it. Clint had while trying to bait a villain also managed to pull off the single worst Russian accent she had ever heard. It was almost, no, it was painful to hear him butchering the accent so horribly, she was pretty sure that's what made Doom snap.


Doom was screaming in rage. Clint was dodging his clumsy punches, his minions were laughing at him, and worst of all, he knew he was falling for a trap. He hated being laughed at and the lack of respect drove him into a rage. He took a breath and. He then turned to his minions, lashing out. Killing some, maiming others until the live ones all fled the room. He turned back to Clint ready to slowly murder him when he realized something. Clint and Natasha noticed it too. Clint wasn't the broken down, useless old broken toy. He wasn't a cocky young street urchin or a terrified child on the run. Nor an inexperienced field agent or father or friend. He was Clint Barton. Hawkeye. Husband of Laura and the father of two children. Partner of Natasha Romanoff, and an Agent of Shield. And when Doom turned to face him, he knew he had made a mistake. As made evident by Barton's foot that kicked out at him, catching him in the chin, snapping his head back. And Natasha knew what to do, with no need for words, they had a plan. She dropped from the air vent and followed up Clint's kick with one of her own, only she hit his mask. While he was distracted, Nat tossed Clint a lock pick and turned back to Doom. He stood up straight and began screeching, giving Clint time to free himself. " You pesky little insignificant nothings! How? You have nothing special about you! You have no powers, no nothing! Yet you come here and destroy my plans time and again! How?"

As he paused to take a breath, Nat smirked, just a little and asked, "Are you done or do you want to embarrass yourself a little bit more?" He screamed and flew at them, and the two assassins struck. Doom lay back on the ground. Half a dozen arrows in his mask from a small case of emergency arrows woven into his field gear. On his chest, he had at least a dozen bullet holes, and the only reason he wasn't dead was that the assassins wanted him that way. Nat reached down and pulled off his mask. He was a surprisingly plain man. Light brown hair, tanned skin which was confusing for someone who stayed in a suit of armor all day. Well, it would have been tan if it wasn't covered with large purple bruises. A noise came over their earpieces. "Strike team? Strike Team Alpha do you copy?"

"Yeah Coulson, we're here," Nat replied. "Oh! Well, he's down." She muttered, catching and exhausted and injured Clint. "Mind giving us a quin jet or something Coulson?"


A few days later, after Clint had recovered sufficiently, Coulson looked in up from his tiny desk aboard the quin jet. A storage room had been temporarily converted into an office and now his agents had entered. "Congratulations. On behalf of shield, I would like to thank you for your bravery today and award you both with a silver eagle." The silver eagle was a sign of bravery and courage within shield. Of course, they could never actually wear them except when they had to go to an officially fancy event. Which they never would. They went through the formal ceremony which was classified because Doom's capture was a secret so their mission was a secret and because shield was terrible at basic cover stories like this, they would just have Coulson hang on to them. As they left the office to clean up, Coulson stopped them. "I just want you to know. I'm proud of you guys." They nodded and left. As they walked through the jet, agents began slowly clapping. They knew Doom had been captured by team alpha. And that wasn't going to stay a secret. The secret agents made sure of it.

Nat and Clint went into the last barracks. As Nat was dressing in the bathroom, a freshly showered Clint turned on the radio, letting it play whatever and stretching out on the bed. The world was perfect. He was going home to a beautiful family and he knew that as soon as they landed, he was going to get a cheeseburger, a shake, and fries. He closed his eyes, falling into a peaceful sleep. Which he was jerked out of quite abruptly when he was smacked in the face with a pillow.

"Hey." An annoyed Nat scolded. "You just dumped your towel on the floor."

"Sorry," Clint grumbled and rolled over.

"Well?"

"I'll get it." He muttered, falling back into a peaceful sleep. Which again was shattered, this time by a wet towel falling in his face. He threw the towel off in Nat's general direction, which she dodged easily. He followed it up with a pillow that caught her in the shoulder. She threw it back and a full-on pillow and wet towel battle began.

Coulson walked up to the door and knocked. And heard giggling and hushing from the room, then an all to innocent-looking Clint answered the door. "Hmmm? Oh hi! Coulson! What's up?"

Coulson glared at him suspiciously. "Please don't tell me that two of the best agents at shield, who recently received silver eagles, are having a pillow fight?"

Clint grinned. "Okay, we aren't having a pillow fig- ow! Hey, that's cheating we had a truce!"

"Hmmm? Oh sorry, that was an accident." Nat called. Clint began to turn when Coulson cleared his throat.

"Here's that secret package you asked for. Don't worry, I didn't tell Nat." Clint's jaw dropped and he began shouting curses and Coulson retreating back. He closed the door and turned, to find himself face to face with Nat. She folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow.

"So, what's in the box?"


After landing and grabbing some lunch. Clint thought he would have felt relaxed. But Nat had been trying to get the box from him all day. He knew he couldn't hide it, so he had spent the entire day trying to keep it in his jacket pocket. His respite came when they entered Fury's office. And he again did the whole silver eagle speech without bothering to bring the eagles out. They had just finished up, when Coulson bust into the room. "Sir! They got him out, he's alive! Unconscious but alive!" Nat was pretty sure she saw Coulson's leg nearly buckle, but he caught himself.

"Right, Coulson with me! You two, go home." Fury abruptly marched out of his office, Coulson scrambling behind him. The two assassins were left alone in the room. Their minds reeling to catch up with the fast pace things were flying by at.

Clint and Nat looked at each other. There was only one person who could turn Coulson into a drooling fangirl. They grinned, then turned as they heard a gagging noise. Goose was on the desk, trying to spit something up. They looked back at each other.

"I'm off duty." Nat shrugged and they left Goose to finish coughing up something very interesting onto the desk before he disappeared never to be seen again.


"Happy birthday dear Auntie Na-at, happy birthday day to you!" Sang three little Barton voices. Nat smiled and blew out the twenty-seven candles. The chocolate cake with a smiling cartoon black widow spider was delicious. And she opened her presents. Marie and Cooper had pooled their money and bought her a pair of black running shoes with a white bottom, after hearing her complain about her old ones wearing down. Laura bought her a gray jean jacket. And Clint's was the biggest surprise of all. He and Lila had combined their presents. She had painted the box with a picture of Laura, Clint, Nat, Marie, Cooper and herself with the words. "The Bartons" Nat almost teared up at the picture. When she opened it, she smiled. It was a silver arrow on a chain. Clint smiled back at her. "It's the symbol of the Bartons. Welcome home, Nat." Nat hugged the entire family. Her family now. She was at home.