A/N: Well, I made my weekly update deadline. Yay!
Love, hugs and huge thanks to Aimee and Blue again for being the best beta's. I couldn't do this without you.
A massive thanks again to everyone who has reviewed. I'm so grateful and touched by your words. Please keep the feedback coming if you can. It fuels the next chapter!
Finally - I hope everyone is well and keeping sane as best they can in these difficult times. Sending love and a big hug out to anyone that needs it!
Battling Fate
Chapter 19
"It's almost time, Mike. What do we do if Harvey doesn't call?"
Mike checked his watch and sighed. "We bluff!" he said with a shrug.
Samantha rolled her eyes. "Wonderful!"
Mike turned his head and eyed the blonde lawyer sitting next to him, his eyebrows raised. "Is bluffing not in your skill set?"
Samantha smirked. "Please! There is nothing missing from my skill set!"
Mike eyed her with an amused expression, his eyes sparkling with mirth.
"Really?"
Samantha gave her own nonchalant shrug in response. "Your best asset might be that weird brain of yours, but thankfully for us, not only do I have a formidable brain… I also happen to have balls!"
Mike chuckled. "I don't doubt it!"
The door opened then and a different prison guard, not one of the ones they'd spoken to earlier, stepped into the waiting room.
"Miss Wheeler? Can I just clarify with you, that it is Vinski Murati you wish to see? Because you are not listed here as his attorney," he commented with a frown as he flipped over several pieces of paper from his clipboard.
"It is. His employer hired our firm to represent him, but I doubt he's been made aware of that fact yet," Samantha replied assuredly.
"So I'm guessing the same goes for you then, Mr. Ross?" The guard glanced across to Mike.
"Yes. Mr. Hasanov is not expecting me, but it's important I speak with him."
The guard eyed them with just a slight air of cynicism. He was an older man, probably not too far from retirement, certainly someone who had been around the block a few times and had been spun many stories during his career. Mike thought he looked vaguely familiar from his time here as an inmate, but he couldn't be sure.
"I have the paperwork here to prove our firm's representation," Samantha said. She reached for her briefcase and lifted it on to her lap, delving inside to retrieve a couple of files.
The guard waved his hand. "That won't be necessary, just make sure you confirm all your firm's details when you sign in. Hasanov and Murati are currently undertaking prison duties at the moment, so you won't be able to see them until after 4pm."
"We can wait," Mike said with a smile.
The guard nodded. "I'll be back in about half an hour, then."
As soon as he'd left the room again, Mike let out a sigh. "You have the paperwork, really?" he mumbled with a quirk of his eyebrow.
"I knew he wasn't going to insist on seeing it." Samantha smirked.
That sat in relative silence for a few minutes, watching the minutes tick away on the clock on the wall, as they waited for Harvey's call.
"So has he always been this reckless?" Samantha suddenly spoke up, breaking the silence.
"What do you mean?"
"Harvey! I haven't known him for that long, but his reputation preceded him. I expected to butt heads with him, and we have, several times. However, his behaviour since I arrived at the firm has been erratic, and him confessing like that, and not discussing it with us? I never expected him to be so foolhardy."
Mike took a deep breath as he glanced across to Samantha. "The short answer? No, he's not normally that rash," he paused before continuing. "He's been out of sorts for a while," he added vaguely.
Samantha nodded slowly, realisation dawning on her face. "Hmm. Let me guess. This has been the exception to the rule because of a certain redhead!"
Mike scratched the back of his head as he tried to find the right words. It wasn't really his place to comment on the relationship between Harvey and Donna, especially to one of the new senior partners in Harvey's firm, even after everything they'd been through together over the last few days.
"Let's just say that Harvey is the best at what he does. He's calculating, ballsy and he always wins. He does that by never letting his emotions get in the way. But with Donna, it's different, or should I say, he's always been different."
Samantha took in Mike's words with a slight frown. "Hmmm. I figured as much." She chuckled to herself then as she shook her head. "Men are so stupid sometimes," she said resignedly.
"Hey!"
She looked Mike up and down and shrugged, clearly not inclined to retract her observation.
Before Mike could protest any further, his phone started ringing and he quickly retrieved it from his pocket.
"Harvey?" Samantha asked quickly.
Mike shook his head as he looked down at the screen. "Nope, Sean Cahill," he replied with surprise.
"Straight from the horse's mouth!" Samantha commented.
Mike nodded with a tight smile as he answered the call. "Sean, please tell me you are calling with good news."
Donna's heart sank at the realisation that Rachel had returned already. She knew there was no disguising the fact that she'd been crying. Her cheeks felt tight, her eyes were sore and her breathing still hadn't completely settled, the occasional sob or sigh escaping from her involuntarily.
She needed more time to compose herself. Feeling as weak as she did, the last thing she wanted was Rachel witnessing her vulnerability. As she heard the rustle of her front door keys, followed by a brief moment of silence, Donna wondered if she had time to escape to her bedroom, unnoticed. She could feign sleep for an hour while Rachel cooked dinner. It might be slightly dishonest, but she currently felt completely stripped of her Donna armour and she needed some semblance of control back. Besides, Rachel would no doubt be pleased at the thought of her finally heeding Dr. Wynn's advice and getting some rest.
Donna quickly stood from her couch, propelled by the notion that if she was quick, she'd make it to the sanctity of her bedroom in time. However, she'd only managed two steps when her breath caught in her throat and her stomach dropped to the floor. She stood frozen in place.
Harvey had rounded the corner into her living room, carrying a grocery bag full of produce in the crook of his one arm, her front door keys dangling from his other hand.
He too, froze.
Donna had heard but never fully appreciated the notion of time standing still. She'd never experienced that sense of a moment being frozen in time. She felt it keenly now though, as they stood staring at each other, neither of them apparently knowing what to say or do.
Harvey's expression then changed from shock to immediate concern as his eyes raked across her face. His shoulders slumped and his head tilted slightly to the side and he swallowed heavily.
"Donna."
He placed the grocery back on the coffee table beside him and took a tentative step toward her. Donna immediately crossed her arms across her chest and stepped back. It wasn't a conscious move, more an instinctual reaction. A means to protect herself. However, she immediately felt a pang of guilt when she observed a look of hurt flash across his features. He paused his movements and once again, they stood eyeing each other warily. Another painful silence followed which only added to the rising tension in the air.
"Where's Rachel?" Donna finally choked out. It hardly seemed the most pertinent thing to say, but Donna was finding the atmosphere unbearable.
Harvey took the lifeline she'd thrown and cleared his throat. "She forgot something. An ingredient…She'll be back soon," he replied. The awkwardness was not alleviated whatsoever by Donna's question or his response.
Harvey braved another step closer to her, and this time Donna forced herself to remain where she stood, although her arms tightened around herself.
"I'd ask you how you are, but I think I can see that for myself," he all but whispered, his eyes full of sorrow as he once again scanned her face.
"I'm okay." Donna gave a tiny nod of her head and closed her eyes as though to steady her resolve but when she opened them again, her trembling lip betrayed her true emotions.
It was enough to finally push Harvey into action, and he strode towards her and pulled her into his arms.
Donna immediately stiffened, her mind screaming to resist him, to deny what her heart was craving. However the feel of Harvey's strong arms wrapped around her combined with his unique but familiar scent overwhelming her senses, soon caused the fragile wall that she'd built up around herself to crumble. She let herself sink into his embrace, allowed his strength and warmth to envelop her as she once again let the tears fall. She sobbed without restraint and she felt Harvey's arms tighten around her as he carefully stroked her hair and gently rocked her.
Part of her hated herself for allowing this. Her mind was still warring with her heart, constantly reminding her that she couldn't have this. Couldn't have him. She'd made a promise, one that entailed letting him go and that meant that she should be pushing him away. Not just to keep her promise, but to protect her heart in the long run. For, no good could come from allowing him to hold her like this. The longer he held her, the more that she allowed herself to absorb him and the more it felt like she had come home. And she knew that this would only tear at her already broken heart and spirit later when she would inevitably have to let him go.
"I'm so sorry, Donna. For everything," he whispered into her hair.
She squeezed her eyes shut at his words. She knew that he was consumed with guilt and that he would try to apologise for all that had happened. She sensed that he needed to comfort her just as much as she coveted his affection, even if tragically for her, his reasons for doing so differed from hers. She said nothing though, not willing to risk putting an end to his embrace, just yet.
"I've hurt you, so badly. I pushed you away right at the moment you needed me most. It kills me that you felt you couldn't come to me about your father, Donna," Harvey continued, his voice cracking with emotion as he continued to hold her, his hand running up and down her back in a soothing motion.
Donna knew then that she needed to pull away. She needed to assure him somehow that she was okay, even if she felt far from it.
"It's alright, Harvey," she said with as much confidence as she could muster as she slowly withdrew from his embrace. She instantly felt the absence of him and it almost took her breath away.
"No...it's not!" Harvey almost shouted, an incredulous look in his eyes. He reached for her again, not willing to let her go just yet, but this time she took a deliberate step away from him, and she shook her head, ever so subtly as she looked to the floor.
Harvey's shoulders slumped, his head fell to one side and he eyed her with an acute sadness. Her body language communicated more than her words ever could as he noted her physically distancing herself. He dropped his outstretched arm to his side and balled his fists.
"Donna...please—"
"Why did you do it, Harvey? Confess to the FBI?" Donna asked suddenly. Her feelings of pain and anguish in the moment were threatening to get the better of her and she needed to change tack. Anger had always been a useful emotion to fall back on and she needed to divert the conversation away from their broken relationship.
Harvey clenched his jaw and swallowed heavily before answering. "You know why," he mumbled as he looked away from her.
"Don't!" Donna snapped. "Don't you dare say that to me!"
Harvey threw his arms out in a defensive gesture. "What do you want me to say, Donna? I had to protect you."
"Bullshit!" Donna raged. "It was self-defense, Harvey. Or did you think it wasn't?" she challenged him.
Harvey paled at her words. "Of course it was self-defense. I was there. I saw exactly what happened. You had no choice, no-one could ever question that!"
"Well clearly you don't actually think that, Harvey, or you wouldn't have felt the need to confess to something you didn't do," Donna bit back.
Harvey pursed his lips and he shook his head. "I couldn't take the risk. I swear there was no doubt in my mind that you were blameless in this Donna, but I also know how the law works, how these things can play out. Especially when you have an overzealous prosecutor with an axe to grind."
"That's just paranoia, Harvey. You have to see that you've risked much more by doing what you did. Your license, your freedom—"
"Better than risking you," he interrupted as he looked her squarely in the eye.
Donna felt her eyes sting with tears again. His words simultaneously bathing her in hope and despair. Hope that he felt more. Hope that he wanted more and that she meant as much to him, as he did to her. But also despair. Utter despair at the reality of their situation, the knowledge that he had chosen someone else and that the words he'd just uttered were not meant in the way her heart longed and yearned for.
"Well, it was a stupid thing to do, Harvey. I'm still at risk and now, so are you," she said bitterly as she stared right back at him.
Harvey's eyes narrowed then, as he digested her words. "You know about Roman," he said dejectedly.
Donna nodded. "I do."
"Is that why Paula was here? Was she the one who told you?" he asked, his eyes wide.
Donna crossed her arms across her chest again at the mention of Harvey's girlfriend. Her recent visit still fresh in her mind, the painful ache of that unpleasant conversation still very much present. However, she knew she had to tread carefully here.
"She's worried sick about you, Harvey. You can hardly blame her," she said carefully. She didn't dare look up, afraid of what she might see in Harvey's eyes.
"It wasn't her place to say anything to you."
"She told me because she felt I had every right to know, and she's right. I am not a child, Harvey. Stop treating me like one. Like I'm some fragile doll that might break." Donna was trembling again, and she cursed the fact that her frustration and anger might be misconstrued as weakness.
"Donna—"
"No, Harvey. You don't get to make decisions that affect my life and then think it's okay to hide them from me. Roman is blackmailing you and he's using me to do it, and as it stands, whatever you decide to do, you stand to lose everything. You're damn right she told me, and I'm glad someone did." Donna was breathing rapidly now. She realised that tears had started to fall down her cheeks again and she swiftly brushed them away with her hand, an action that did not go unnoticed by Harvey.
"What exactly did she say to you?" Harvey asked, instantly concerned.
Donna knew what he was alluding to, and there was no way she was going to open that can of worms right now. "Why? Is there something else you are hiding from me?" she asked in defiance.
Harvey faltered. He shook his head.
"Is Roman threatening anyone else?" she asked, desperately trying to veer the conversation back to the topic of Roman Karimov and away from Paula Agard.
"No, Donna. Just us," he said with a grimace.
"So what are you going to do?" Donna asked. "I know you met with Mike this morning."
Harvey took a deep breath and he ran his fingers through his hair. "We have a plan, things are already in motion," he said evasively.
"What's the plan?" she asked without skipping a beat.
Harvey clenched his jaw. "You don't need to know the details."
"Like hell I don't! What did I just say, Harvey? Stop leaving me out of the loop. Tell me what the plan is!"
"Goddamnit Donna, No!" he shouted back at her, frustration getting the better of him. "Will you just…" He paused and let out a deep sigh. He took a step toward her then, ignoring her pained expression and apparent desire to distance herself from him.
"Will you just trust that I will sort this mess out? Please?" He looked at her pleadingly.
Donna bit her lip and forced herself to look away from Harvey's deep brown eyes. "I do trust you, Harvey. You know that I do," she said softly.
Harvey's face softened at her words, and he reached for her hand, gently running his thumb across her palm. Donna's breath hitched at his touch and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to keep her composure.
"We're working on obtaining some leverage over Roman, okay? Something he can't afford to ignore, and if all goes well, he won't be a problem anymore," he said in that soft timbre of his that always struck her at her core.
"And what if it doesn't go well?" she dared to whisper as she looked down at their entwined hands.
Harvey didn't answer right away, and she looked back up at him. He too was staring at their hands and she noticed him swallow heavily.
She knew then, beyond a doubt. She knew what he was already prepared to do. He was going to throw himself on his sword for her, just as Paula had intimated. Her stomach lurched at both the prospect of his decision and also at the notion that there would be nothing that she could say that would deter him from that choice. She knew him too well, she knew that expression that he was currently wearing. That steely resolve that told her he would not be persuaded to divert from the path he had chosen, no matter what she threatened him with.
"It will," he said with a determined smile as he looked up into her eyes.
She wasn't fooled though, and to her utter despair, his eyes also betrayed the fact that he wasn't as sure of this plan as he was letting on. His countenance lacked some of his usual swagger and confidence. His plan was obviously a 'Hail Mary' and Donna wanted to scream at him.
She recalled then, her promise to Paula, and she knew that she would have to put a stop to this madness. She loved him deeply, and despite everything that had happened between them, it was her kissing him that had started this mess and had caused their relationship to break down. Harvey falling on his sword was sprung out of guilt and she could not allow him to lose any more than he already had. She owed it to him to sort this mess out once and for all. She knew what it was she had to do, and as that realisation settled on her, she felt some of her inner strength return.
She just had to make sure that Harvey didn't find out. The last thing she needed was for him to suspect that she had her own plan of action. If he knew, he would put an immediate stop to it, and she couldn't allow that to happen.
So she gave him a weak smile and nodded.
Harvey scanned her face and he frowned slightly, probably surprised that she'd let it go. He didn't question it though, and he glanced back at her hand, turning it over gently. The scars on the underside of her wrists were more prominent than on the top and Harvey's face darkened as he lightly ran his finger over the ugly markings.
"They look worse than they feel," she lied, trying to reassure him.
"Donna…" he wasn't buying it, and she cursed that he could often read her as well as she could read him.
She pulled her hand from his grasp and stepped back from him once more.
"What else did he do to you?" he blurted out, the words tumbling from his lips with abandon. He was breathing more heavily, as though desperate for her answer but dreading her response.
"Harvey," she whispered, and she shook her head, her eyes glistening with tears.
Harvey pressed his lips together as a mixture of sadness and anger clouded his features. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" he faltered, not knowing how to finish his sentence.
Harvey's phone began to ring and the sudden loud chime of his ringtone made Donna jump. Harvey held his hand up as an apology as he reached inside his coat pocket for his phone.
"I'm sorry, I have to take this," he looked at her apologetically. Donna merely nodded in response and she lowered herself onto her couch while Harvey answered the call.
"Sean! Talk to me," he said with a nervous glance across to Donna. She looked away from him. It didn't surprise her that Sean Cahill was involved in whatever Harvey was concocting. He was a useful albeit reluctant ally to Harvey and she knew he trusted him.
"That's great, Sean. Thanks. Listen, I'm with Donna at the moment. Do you think you could call Mike and let him know? He's waiting for confirmation... I know… Of course… wouldn't dream of it...okay, well we can agree to disagree on that...Thanks, Sean, I'll call you as soon as I hear anything."
Harvey hung up the phone and placed it back in his inside pocket.
"Sean Cahill?" Donna raised an eyebrow. "Please tell me whatever you are planning is above board."
"Would Sean allow it any other way?"
"I don't know, Harvey. You can be very persuasive when you want to be," Donna retorted. Whatever Harvey was planning, it wasn't going to change her mind about what she needed to do, but the last thing she needed was Harvey being even more reckless than he had already been and causing further problems that would have to be solved.
"We're not doing anything illegal. I promise, okay?" Harvey assured her.
Before she had a chance to comment three loud knocks reverberated through her apartment. Donna took a sharp intake of breath and her eyes widened momentarily.
"It's probably Rachel," he said.
"Of course it is," she said with a half-smile, somewhat embarrassed at her initial reaction.
Harvey observed her with a furrowed brow and Donna hated the look of concern and sympathy that he cast in her direction. He made his way to her front door and no sooner had Donna heard it open than she heard the familiar and comforting tones of Rachel's voice.
Neither of them re-appeared straight away, but their hushed voices told Donna that she was no doubt being discussed and rather than call them out on it, she made her way into her kitchen and set about making some more tea.
"Hey!" Rachel appeared in the living room with an overly large smile on her face and a baguette in her hand. "Sorry, I took so long," she said.
Donna pointedly glanced at the kitchen clock and then back to Rachel. "Where did you go for the baguette? Paris?" she asked with her eyebrow quirked.
Rachel had the decency to blush slightly, but she gave a nonchalant shrug. "You know me, Donna. Not just any bakery will do," she said, sucking her teeth slightly as she began unpacking the grocery bag that Harvey had left on the coffee table. "Are you staying for dinner, Harvey?" she asked lightly without looking at either him or Donna.
Donna visibly paled and she immediately hid her face behind a cupboard door as she sought out a mug for her tea.
"Thank you, but no. I have some things I need to do. I'd best be on my way," he answered, his eyes fixed on Donna as he spoke. Rachel looked between the two of them and subtly shook her head to herself.
"I take it I won't be seeing my husband anytime soon then?" she asked with a sigh, but her tone held no malice, and she gave Harvey a warm smile.
"I'm sorry, Rachel. When this is all over and done with, I promise I'll make it up to you and Mike. How does a second honeymoon sound?"
"Well if you're paying, I'd say that sounds perfect." She batted her eyelashes at him and gave a little chuckle.
Harvey graced her with a half-smile, which soon disappeared from his lips when an awkward silence befell the room once again.
Rachel cleared her throat. "Right, well I'm just gonna go wash up before I start cooking. I'll see you soon, Harvey. Keep Mike out of any trouble, won't you?" she said almost nervously.
"Well, it's Mike… I can't promise!" He smirked.
Rachel rolled her eyes and with a quick glance back to Donna, who was feverishly dipping a tea bag into her mug over and over again, she left them to it.
Harvey took a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. He watched Donna for a moment as she stared intently at the mug of tea that she was still brewing. He moved tentatively so that he stood next to her and slowly reached out his hand, placing it on top of hers, halting her movements.
"I think if you make that tea any stronger, you'll be able to stand your spoon up in it," he said softly.
Donna closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath. As much as she had dreaded his visit today, the thought of him leaving was more than she could bear.
"Hey!" he reached up his other hand to cup her cheek, and turn her face toward him. His touch soothed her, and she longed to grasp his hand and hold it there, pressed against her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open but they shimmered with tears.
"Donna. I have to go now. I have to go and fix this, and I will fix it, I promise," he said earnestly as his eyes bored into hers.
She gave a quick nod, but said nothing. She didn't think she could find the words, not with the possibility that this could be the last time she would see him. She felt like she should say something. Something profound. She sensed that if she didn't, she would regret it later, much later. She'd regret not telling him how much he meant to her, how thankful she was for all that he had done for her, and how sorry she was that this is how their friendship would end. But she knew if she tried to find any of those words right now, she would just break down, and she needed to be strong. She needed to get through the next few days so that she could fight for him.
"When this is done, Donna. I'll be back, and we'll talk, okay?" He pressed his forehead against hers, just like he'd done those few days before. Donna choked back a sob and she willed herself to keep it together. She longed to tilt her head slightly and capture his lips one last time, to feel his warmth and the softness of his mouth on hers, to revel in the idea of him loving her, like she loved him. But she couldn't. It would destroy her fragile resolve, not to mention the fact that she had sworn to him that she would never do that again.
Harvey pulled away, but only slightly, and they locked eyes. Donna saw a flicker of something in the depths of those deep brown orbs. His pupils were dilated and his breathing had accelerated. He scanned her face, his gaze resting on her lips. Donna held her breath, her heart pounding in her chest. His jaw tightened and he lifted his other hand so that he could cradle her face.
"Donna." He whispered her name as though he was pleading with her and she realised then that he was at war with himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and expelled a shaky breath, before lifting his head and gently pressing his lips to her forehead. He let them linger there for a while, as his thumbs caressed her cheekbones. Donna closed her eyes and savoured the moment. Committing the feel of his lips against her, to memory.
"Take care, Donna," he whispered against her skin. "Don't be a difficult patient for Rachel, okay?" he said lightly, although his voice faltered slightly.
He then withdrew from her and Donna felt the air leave her lungs, as though he'd taken all the oxygen in the room with him. She kept her eyes closed until she heard the familiar sound of her front door closing.
She stood motionless, grateful that her kitchen counter was there to prop her up. Her eyes darted around the room almost frantically as she desperately tried to regulate her breathing and keep a lid on her emotions before Rachel returned to the room. She knew her friend would understand. Rachel was well aware of their situation and the way Donna felt about Harvey, but Donna didn't want or need comfort right now. She needed strength. She had a job to do and she needed to work out how to do it without Rachel finding out. She needed to leave her apartment and if she was an emotional wreck, there wouldn't be a chance in hell that Rachel would let her leave. Regardless of what lies or excuses she spun.
Rachel had obviously heard Harvey leave the apartment, for it was less than a minute later that she reappeared in the living room. Donna spun on her heel and tipped the over stewed tea into the sink, then reached instead for the bottle of vodka that was tucked at the back of her cupboard, purposely bypassing the bottle of Macallan that was next to it. She poured herself a swift measure and knocked it back in one go, savouring the burn as she leant the glass against her lips.
"That bad huh?" Rachel said softly as she joined Donna in the kitchen.
"No...it's just been quite a day."
"More like, quite a week!" Rachel said as she grabbed a shot glass and poured herself a measure, mimicking Donna by knocking it back in one gulp.
Donna lifted her eyebrows and snatched the bottle back with a wry smile. She poured them both another measure and held out her glass for Rachel to clink, which she did dutifully.
"Let's face it. It's been a shitty few months!" she said with a dramatic sigh.
"I'm not gonna argue with that," Rachel agreed, knocking her second shot back and wincing slightly at the harshness of the neat spirit. "Although, I did get married. That was pretty cool."
"Meh!" Donna shrugged, but there was a twinkle in her eye. Rachel giggled as they both placed their empty shot glasses on the counter.
Rachel reached out and touched Donna's arm, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Honestly, though. Are you okay?" she asked carefully, not wanting to lose the lightness of their conversation but keen to get a read on how Donna had coped with Harvey's visit.
Donna lifted her chin as she met Rachel's gaze, her armour in place. "I will be, Rachel." She smiled warmly, confident her inner turmoil was safely hidden away.
"Can I ask what happened?" Rachel dared to probe.
"You can, but I'm not ready to spill the beans just yet. I need a favour from you instead," Donna said, her lips pursed.
Rachel frowned slightly. "Oh?"
"I need to go out for an hour," she said quickly, drawing in a sharp breath as she did so.
Rachel's eyes widened. "What?"
"I won't be long, I promise," Donna added.
Rachel shook her head vehemently. "No, Donna. You need to rest. I promised Mike and Harvey that I would make sure you did exactly that," she said, hand now on her hip.
"And I will, I promise. There's just something I need to do first," Donna said, biting her lip.
"What could that possibly be?" Rachel asked, her brows snapped together.
"There's someone I need to see. I promise I won't be long and I'll be totally safe, I just need you to trust me on this and not say a word to anyone about it. Particularly Harvey or Mike," Donna pleaded. She knew it was a risk doing it this way, but she didn't have time to come up with a cover story that would be convincing enough for Rachel, and she just didn't want to lie to her friend.
"Donna!" Rachel cried out, exasperated. "What the hell does that mean? Now you're really worrying me. There's no way I can—"
"I swear to god, I'll be fine. It's no-one untoward or dangerous, I promise, but I can't tell you. Not yet, anyway. Please just trust me on this. I'm begging you."
Rachel stared at her friend open-mouthed, but her shoulders slumped and she let out a huge sigh. "He'll kill me if he finds out that I let you go out alone!" she said with a grimace.
"He won't know. I'll be back before dinner's ready and then I'm all yours. I'll even let you paint my toenails and you can tell me the backstory to Mike's latest hairstyle," she quipped with a slight smirk.
"This isn't funny, Donna." Rachel scowled.
Donna sighed and took hold of Rachel's hand. "Please, Rachel. I need to do this," she said somberly.
Rachel let out a huff and shook her head. "You will be the death of me, Donna Roberta Paulsen. You have one hour! If you're not back here by 7pm, I will call Harvey, Mike, Samantha, the police… hell, I'll even call Louis. Do you understand me?"
"Loud and clear!" she said and she leant over and kissed her friend on the cheek before pulling her in for a quick hug. "Thank you," she whispered.
"Hmmm," Rachel grumbled.
Donna then swiftly grabbed her coat and shoes and made a quick exit before Rachel had a chance to change her mind.
Paula closed the book she was reading and removed her reading glasses, placing them both on the coffee table in front of her. She stretched her arms up and gave a deep sigh.
The book hadn't helped calm her uneasiness as much as she'd hoped it would. The last 24 hours playing over and over in her mind.
Roman Karimov and his malevolent threats. The way he'd taunted her and her relationship with Harvey. The revelation about Donna kissing him. She gasped at that last thought, her hand flying up to her mouth as she tried to swallow down the sickening feeling she felt in her gut. It was her worst fear realised, and whilst she had been slightly comforted by Donna's assurance that the kiss was instigated solely by her, she couldn't help but be reminded of her past relationship and the pain she'd suffered from Jacob's betrayal. She's not sure she could bear it happening again.
She had debated visiting Donna, whether or not it was the right thing to do. It was a risk, but she felt that desperate times had called for desperate measures. Harvey's livelihood and freedom were under threat and she felt she needed to do something before he completely threw it all away. She knew that Donna loved him, and would, therefore, do anything to protect him. There was a part of her, buried deep, that still feared that Donna's love was reciprocated by Harvey, but she smothered those niggling doubts by constantly reminding herself that Harvey had come to her. He'd chosen her, he'd asked her to move in with him and share their life together. She had every right to do what she needed to do to protect him and their relationship. If that meant separating him from Donna, then so be it.
She stood up and took a deep breath. It felt strange being back in her old apartment. She'd grown accustomed to living with Harvey, and the fact that she was here, even if by her own choice, added to the sense of uneasiness she felt. She felt distant from him, now literally as well as emotionally.
She decided a bath might be a good idea. It might ease the tension she felt in her neck and shoulders.
As she strode towards her bathroom, her doorbell rang and she paused, looking at her clock with a frown. It was too late for an urgent appointment. Her heart then skipped a beat when it dawned on her who else might be paying her a visit.
She quickly marched to the front door and taking a deep breath, she swung it open with a nervous smile.
"Paula!"
"Donna!... What are you doing here?" Paula asked, looking more than a little shell shocked.
Donna swallowed and gave a tentative smile. "Can I come in?"
Paula hesitated before biting her lip, but then she nodded and stepped back allowing Donna to enter. "Of course," she said stiffly.
Donna stepped over the threshold and as soon as she was inside, she turned back around to face the other woman.
"How did you know I'd be here?" Paula asked curiously, after all she'd taken every opportunity to remind Donna that she now lived with Harvey.
Donna shrugged. "Let's just say that following our earlier conversation, I deduced that you would be here rather than at Harvey's," she answered.
Paula bristled slightly, but she kept a polite smile on her face. "What do you want, Donna?"
Donna tightened her grip on the handles of the bag on her shoulder and she took a deep breath.
"I made you a promise, Paula. A promise I intend to keep. But in order to carry out that promise, in order to protect Harvey, I need you to do something for me… and you're not going to like it!"
A/N: (I'm sorry if this chapter hurt a bit)
