CHAPTER 16: TAINTED

Draco lay atop his silken emerald sheets as he twirled his hazel wood wand skilfully between his dexterous fingers. The suns light was due to break the distant horizon soon and yet once again he had been unable to sleep. Deep seeded insomnia, just one of the multitude of invisible scars he now bore. He had not experienced a truly restful night since before the war, before that mad man had inhabited the prison he had once called home. His eyes drifted from his wand to his inner forearm where the ever-present patch of marred flesh remained, obscured from sight by the cloth of his long sleeved shirt. He pulled himself into a seated potion with an exasperated huff. Stretching upward, he grasped a fist full of the material that rest against his upper back, before pulling the shirt up and over his head. Discarding the piece of clothing to the floor with unnecessary force he glared down at the distorted mark. His misguided attempts to violently remove the dark mark had left it deformed yet no less prominent. He placed the tip of his wand against the vile blemish and non-verbally cast a glamour charm. Draco watched as the mark faded from his skin and like always he held his breath. As it had each time before the dark mark reappeared swiftly and he expelled the air from his lungs in defeat. He knew he needed to face the truth that he would remain marked, forever branded. But he could not, would not bring himself to accept that fate. His frustration grew, twisting and morphing until his anger consumed him.

Aggressively he slashed his wand out before him. Yet nothing happened. He groaned and focused his attention on his own reflection in the tall mirror opposite his bed. Lifting his wand once more he roared, "flipendo! Depulso! BOMBARDA!"

Still the mirror remained intact. Draco launched himself from his bed his fist clenched tight. If his magic had abandoned him he would resort to shattering the glass the Muggle way. He brought his fist back ready to strike when suddenly he heard an all too familiar shriek. He knew instantly to whom that terrible sound belonged. It had been etched deep into his memory that horrid night he had stood by and watched his psychotic aunt torture her upon his parlour floor.

Without a second thought he swiftly collected his discarded wand from his silken covers and threw open his bedroom door. He cleared the expanse of the circular room in great strides and reached out, grasping the handle of her door. It was locked. He pounded his fist against the solid timber and called out, "Granger!"

He could hear her strangled cries from behind the thick door, he desperately needed to get to her. He raised his wand and adeptly cast a series of advanced diagnostic charms, revealing the complex series of wards Grangers had placed. One by one he deftly countered each of the room's vigorous protections. With the wards cracked he aimed his wand at the doors lock and cast a final, silent Alohomora before bursting through the doorway and into her bedroom.

There was no sign of the attacker Draco had feared, only Granger thrashing atop her mattress. Her sheets tangled around her flailing limbs and skin clammy with perspiration. He closed her bedroom door behind him and rushed forward to her side. As he approached he could see her tearing at the tender flesh of her own neck with her sharp fingernails. He knelt down beside her and grasped her wrists, attempting to halt her self-infliction. As he pinned down her wrists Grangers eyes snapped open wildly and she began to lash out with renewed vigour. Draco released her wrists and raised his hands in the air as if to surrender, attempting to demonstrate he was no threat.

"M... Malfoy?" Granger queried breathlessly as she pulled herself in to a seated position.

For a moment she visually calmed, as if acknowledging his presence as non-menacing. However, her composure quickly unravelled as her eyes glazed over, growing distant. She began to shake, hugging her arms around herself tightly as she rocked back and forth rhythmically. Acting on purely instinct alone Draco pulled himself up onto the bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her slim waist he pulled her gently back into himself and nestled her against is bare chest. Lifting one hand, leaving the other wrapped securely around her abdomen, he slowly guided her head down, tucking it below his chin. He began to hush her comfortingly as he swept the wild, sweat damp locks of hair from her face.

As he held her in his warm embrace her shaking began to gradually subside. Draco pulled his eyes from her and scanned the room. On her desk he noted a discarded bottle of Firewhisky, very near empty. He tilted his head ever so slightly to the side and sure enough he could smell the pungent scent of the liquor upon her breath. He was no stranger to the drink himself, but he would not of thought Granger would be one to abuse it to this extent, especially given they had classes to attend come morning.

Granger inhaled deeply before releasing a lengthy sigh, the warm air causing a pleasant tickling sensation as it passed through the patch of dark blonde hair in the centre of his chest. Only then did it occur to Draco their mutual state of undress. He looked down over the woman pressed against his naked torso and sucked in a sharp breath. Granger lay there, clothed is naught but her white cotton panties and a sheer singlet. He tried in vain to avert his eyes from her exposed flesh, his mind recalling the moment he had stumbled upon her bathing and caught the briefest glimpse of her exposed breasts. Just as he had that morning he felt himself begin to stiffen within the confines of his cotton pyjama pants. Carefully he eased Granger off his chest and adjusted his position, narrowly avoiding his growing erection firmly pressing into her back.

His movements appeared to rouse the Gryffindor witch back into the moment as she pulled herself fully upright and turned to face him, a quizzical look written across her features, "Malfoy? How did you get in here?"

"You were screaming."

Shuffling down the bed she turned her body to face him front on, pulling her knees up as she wrapped her arms around them. "Oh, I must have forgotten the silencing charm last night... But how did you actually get in here?" She asked again.

Draco reached his hand up and ran his fingers through his fine blonde hair anxiously, "I broke your wards. I am sorry about the breach of privacy. I just couldn't stand by and do nothing." Not again, he thought.

Hermione chuckled softly catching him by surprise, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "They were some extremely advanced wards I had placed Malfoy. Not to mention the standard Hogwarts security wards. How on earth did you crack them?"

He couldn't help it, his signature smirk spread across his face and he lifted his palms face up to either side of his body, demonstrating an exaggerated shrug. "I am actually quite intelligent you know."

He had expected Granger to quip back as she normally would, however the usual fire did not spark alight behind her warm brown eyes. Instead the witch's brow furrowed deeply as she gnawed absently at her lower lip. He followed the line of her gaze and his eyes fell upon his exposed dark mark. He pulled his arms up, crossing them against his body. "Fuck. I'm sorry. You really shouldn't have to see that."

Unexpectedly Granger reached out and grasped his arm, tugging it out from its locked position against his abdomen. She pulled the limb out towards her, turning his inner forearm skyward. She gently placed her finger on his skin and slowly traced the outline of the abhorrent brand. The confronting situation caused him to feel immensely vulnerable, yet he did not move to stop her.

She looked up from his forearm and gazed into his eyes as if searching for the answer to some ancient, complex puzzle, "What did you do to it?"

"What do you mean?" He asked defensively, attempting to ignore the concern etched plainly into her features.

She arced a single eyebrow, "and you just claimed to be intelligent. Do not lie to my Malfoy."

He had not spoken to a single soul about this before now, yet something within him compelled him to open up to the witch. He sighed deeply and admitted, "I tried to cut it out."

"Oh God!" Granger exclaimed. "You know as well as I that would never work Malfoy. You could have killed yourself!"

She was right of course, he had known it was a pointless endeavour. Had he been suicidal at the time? Perhaps he had been. He looked down at the ugly patch of distorted skin as he spoke softly, "If his taint was on you, part of you, you would likely try anything to get rid of it as well."

He was suddenly caught off guard as Granger launched herself towards him. She threw herself against his chest, her arms reaching around his shoulders and pulling him into a tight embrace. At first he froze, unaccustomed to any form of affection or expression of comfort. He forced himself to inhale, drawing in a deep and steady breath, his body relaxing into hers. Apprehensively he reach out and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head into the mass of wild curls in the crook of her neck.

Here she was, this brilliant, caring witch comforting him. Given the circumstances of his presence it should be he whom was providing comfort to her. He inhaled deeply, savouring the aroma of vanilla and Firewhisky against her lightly freckled skin. He lifted his head and gently pushed her body back from his, yet he did not relinquish his grip upon her waist as he held her at arm's length. He looked deep into her eyes as he spoke. "You know you can talk to me about it if you like, whatever it is that is haunting you."

Granger's shoulders sank instantly at his words, her eyes falling despondently to the mattress between them. "I... I don't even know where to begin."

"Why don't you start with why you were screaming in your sleep?" Draco supplied.

She remained silent for a long moment as if in deep contemplation. Eventually she straightened her posture and crossed her legs casually in front of her, bring her eyes up to meet his. "I have been having a dream, the same unrelenting dream almost every night. Well, a nightmare honestly. Part of it is a memory of what happened to me. What happened to me... in your Manor."

"I'm so sor..." he started.

Granger swiftly cut him off mid-sentence. "Do not apologise for what she did to me. None of what happened to me that night is your fault. Regardless, it isn't so much the memory that haunts me. It's what comes next that petrifies me, what my mind fabricated. Events that are not real but easily could have been."

"I think about it all the time, what might have happened if Dobby had not recued you all." He admitted.

"We would have died. There is not a single doubt about that in my mind. It is not my death that plagues my dreams though. It is the events that lead to that inevitable fate." Granger trembled as she spoke.

He could not help his curiosity, against his own better judgements he asked, "In this nightmare, what leads to your death?"

Granger's eyes welled with tears as she muttered, "Greyback."

"Oh..." was all that fell from his lips, startled by her response.

Granger inhaled a ragged breath and elaborated, "Bellatrix... she promised me to him that night, once she was through with me. I know what he did to the others. The other women... and girls, that he was given. I know how they all died."

Fenrir, fucking, Greyback. No wonder Granger had been haunted by her nightmares, left thrashing in her sleep. He too knew the horrors that man, no not a man, that beast had committed. As loath as he was to admit is, Granger was not wrong. Had she remained in the manor that night, her death would have been brought by Greyback's hands. Draco clenched his fists as he began to shake with overwhelming rage. "That sick fucking bastard!" He exclaimed.

"It's just a dream. Well for me at least." She whispered sombrely.

He hated that she was living through this torment, his brows creasing as he queried, "Can you not take a potion to prevent this reoccurring?"

Granger gnawed at her lip nervously before responding, "Madame Pomfrey has prescribed me a dreamless sleep potion, I take it every night. Well at least I am meant to. After Fawley's attacked I... I struggled. My anxiety has been horrific, and the nightmares kept coming, despite my use of the draught. I just continued recklessly taking more of it and before I knew it I had drained the vial of every last drop. It is a well-controlled substance and I knew there was no way Pomfrey would provide more before I was due to see her on Monday. So I turned to drinking, thought perhaps if I drank myself unconscious I would remain so until morning. Obviously I was mistaken. It's only Friday Malfoy! What am I going to do?"

He thought for a moment, what could he possibly do to help her in this situation? A part of him desperately wanted to offer to remain by her side, to comfort her through the long nights. He knew however that that proposal would be far too forward, so instead he replied, "I'm not sure. But we will figure it out."

To this Granger offered the smallest of sincere smiles. "I do know one thing though." He continued. "And I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I don't think either of us should be relying on alcohol anymore."

She sighed as she gazed at the near empty Firewhisky bottle forlornly. "I know Malfoy. It won't do me any good."

Draco recalled how she had spoken of how her anxiety had worsened after her attack. He seized the opportunity to ask of her a question that had been on his mind some time now. "You mentioned your anxiety. Does that have anything to do with your unintentional magical outbursts?"

Granger's mouth fell agape as her eyes widened in shock. "Bu... but how did you know about that?"

Draco smirked. "I am a very observant person Granger. Besides, have you forgotten that I was on the receiving end of said magic myself on our very first day back?"

She grimaced in response to his words, "Oh I am sorry about that! The crowds, they really got to me that day. I have very little control over it, I have been having these panic attacks. Very occasionally I can regain control, focus my breathing and suppress my magic. But most of the time it is as if I have completely lost control of it. It builds inside me, I can feel it. I haven't lacked control of it like this since I was a child."

"Has Potter tried to help you, has he even noticed?" Draco asked, already knowing with near certainty the answer.

She looked at her heads and fidgeted with her fingers, "I... well. I tried to speak with him about it. I don't want to trouble him with my issues though. He is happy this year."

Of course the fucking scar head hadn't noticed. The prick was so obviously infatuated with the little female weasel it was a surprise he still knew how to function. Even though he had known the answer, Grangers response had infuriated him. She had done so much to save his chosen arse time and time again, and now it came to her needing help and he hadn't so much as noticed anything was wrong.

"I am happy for him though, I truly am."

She smiled brilliantly just as the suns morning rays broke the horizon and filled the room with dazzling golden hues. The sunlight fell upon her face highlighting the small copper flecks scattered throughout the warm brown tones of her eyes. She was beyond beautiful. Draco fought the urge to reach out and sweep her curled hair gently behind her ear. He needed to leave now, before he acted on his impulse.

"I should probably get going and get ready for class." He said as he climbed off her bed, stretching his stiff back as he did so. He turned to look at her, position unchanged atop her plush mattress and smirked as he amended, "Granger, you might want to make sure no one is in the common room, unless you really feel like starting some scandalous rumours."

"Oh! Right!" Granger exclaimed as she sprung from the bed and headed for the door.

He could not help but run his eyes up the length of her exposed legs and found himself entranced by the way her perfectly rounded rear bounced with each step. He realised too slow that Granger had spoken and looked up to find her starring back at him, one eyebrow arched and a knowing smile upon her lips.

"Huh?" He uttered stupidly.

"I said the coast is clear. Get out of here." She said with a chuckle.