Hey guys, it's been a while but I've had this idea for quite a bit of time and I wanted to get this down. This takes place right after Endgame when Steve is returning the stones and goes back to Peggy. This is just like in-depth of what I thought Steve's thought process was like, so this is like, angst to the max. There's not much to it, but I almost cried when writing it.

Song recommendation for this: "It's Been a Long, Long Time" by Harry James and "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman

Alright peoples, enjoy!


Steve stared at the platform for way longer than he probably should have, but he couldn't quite look away. He was in too deep anyway, he couldn't turn back now. His mind was set. He had thought long and hard about it after it had plagued his mind since Bruce had asked him to do it. He had no hesitation when he said yes to taking the stones back to their original places in the timeline. There was always the possibility of an error, room for something to go wrong, but what did he have to lose?

For the first time, Steve did have something to lose. After losing so much, Steve was surprised he even had anything left. Tony. Natasha. Millions of people and millions of memories taken from the snap. Steve was reckless, always has been and always will be. But he didn't think that for the first time there was something he had that he didn't want to lose. It had taken him decades, but Bucky was finally back. After he had said yes to Bruce, Steve's first glance had been to Bucky. Steve was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

He had been searching for Bucky since he had heard the slightest rumor of him being alive and seeing him with his own very eyes. Even brainwashed and having no memory of him, Steve wanted nothing else than Bucky to be back. And now he was here, standing right next to him. Alive, staring right back at him. Decades of work led right up to this moment, right now.

But he was torn. Here was Bucky, who Steve had been trying to bring back since he went into the ice. But bringing back the stones gave him the chance to be able to do something he thought would be impossible. It had taken him a long time to understand it, to accept the fact, but now he was faced with the fact that he could finally go back. Go back home.

The final stone had to go back to 1970, back to the SHIELD base where Howard Stark was working. That alone was hard enough. Steve didn't think he would be able to look at Howard Stark and not see Tony. Howard would never live long enough to know that his son would change the world. Changing the world, then to sacrifice himself to save everyone. People didn't give Tony Stark the credit deserved. Steve only got by on the fact that Tony would be reunited with his parents. That didn't mean that it hurt the family Tony did leave behind any less.

But Howard wasn't the only one that was back on that SHIELD base. As much as Steve would've liked to talk with him, tell him how well the serum had worked out - to a degree, at least - and tell him how amazing his son would turn out to be, he couldn't change too much time unless he would be left with a major problem. But Peggy. Peggy was there. She had been standing there, right in front of him, a piece of glass the only thing separating the two of them. Steve had been frozen. For the first time, Steve forgot the mission, forgot the reason he was there, and time had all but stopped.

She looked different. Hair was a little darker, suit a little sharper. Her face was set, not in a frown, but quite happy either. There wasn't any of that playful glint in her eyes that Steve remembered, no commanding attitude that made Steve melt. It was nothing Steve remembered. From his side of the glass, he all but begged Peggy to turn around, to look at him. He didn't dare make the move himself, it would jeopardize reality as he knew it.

The real question was did he want to go back to the reality he knew?

The one where his time had been time-jerked throughout history, the one where Natasha gave her life to save the world, the one where Tony gave his life to save the world, the one that held the Earth ravaged by Thanos and with so much damage left behind? The one where the governments had hunted them down like criminals while they were just trying to help? The one where the team is all but gone, the Avengers reduced to dust? What was left for him there?

Bucky. Bucky was reality. The one thing that he understood.

But Peggy was home. The place he knew he belonged, where everything made sense.

Steve was torn. He couldn't decide, but he knew he had to. Steve had been given a second chance. The little voice in his head told him he should take it. Opportunities like this don't come around often. Or at all. This was his chance to go. To leave all of the hurt behind, and start over. To live the life he always wanted.

Before he could contemplate his choices any longer, Bruce's voice cut through Steve's thoughts.

"Steve, you ready?" Steve didn't give himself another chance to even think about the decision he was about to make. He nodded numbly, forcing his legs to move forward. Each step was a conscious effort even though it shouldn't be, but before he knew it, he was standing in front of Sam, a small smile on Falcon's face.

"Sam…"

"Enough said, Cap. Just come on back," Sam said, his smile still on his face, blissfully unaware of the internal battle Steve was fighting about that very concept. Steve grabbed his hand and shook it heartily, a simple handshake not all that Steve wanted to express, how grateful he was for Sam being by his side. But Sam clapped him on the shoulder and walked over to help Bruce with configuring out the machines.

That left Bucky.

Once again, Steve forced his legs to move, walking up to Bucky. Bucky didn't share Sam's disposition. Something in Bucky's face told Steve that Bucky knew exactly what he was going to do.

Bucky looked Steve up and down for a moment as if he was looking at Steve for the last time. For all Steve knew, it could be. He didn't know what to say, or even if he did, how to say it. Bucky had been through everything with him, through thick and thin, to the end of the line. There was no one he could trust more. Bucky had saved Steve's life countless times, whether it was falling out of a burning helicarrier or helping him up after a beat-down in the alley. Steve owed his life to Bucky, but now he was leaving? He finally got him back and he was just going to leave?

Steve tried to form the words to express his thoughts, but nothing he wanted to say seemed to be right. So he went with the familiar. The last time he had seen Bucky, not the brainwashed Winter Soldier, but Bucky.

"Don't do anything stupid until I come back."

Steve stared at Bucky, his lopsided smile matching the sideways tilt of his hat, his crisp uniform not the slightest bit wrinkled, even after having the two dates practically hanging on him the entire time. Steve didn't share the smile, the daunting reality hanging over his head and darkening his mood. Bucky was leaving. Joining the army, leaving him behind.

All Steve wanted to do was fight, stand up for the little guy. Now his best friend was leaving him to do exactly what Steve wanted to do. They had avoided conversation on it for as long as possible, but now it was happening. The fair drowned out around Steve as reality punched him in the face. This was it. This was goodbye.

"Don't do anything stupid 'til I get back," Bucky said with pseudo-seriousness, the lopsided smile he had on earlier slipping through the cracks. Steve tried to stay angry, at least keep his face neutral so Bucky knew how unhappy Steve was with him leaving, but it didn't work. Steve let out the tiniest smile, and Bucky already knew how Steve felt.

"How can I?" Steve slipped into their usual banter with ease, but this time the words had so much more meaning behind them. "You're taking all the stupid with you."

Bucky had laughed. Sharp and rough, maybe even bitterly, but it was the same laugh Steve always heard. Little did he know, but that would be the last time Steve would hear Bucky laugh. Truly laugh.

Steve watched Bucky's eyes light up in recognition and Steve hoped that smile that he knew would show up, but it never did. Bucky had the same face Steve did way back then, serious and slightly disappointed. But he didn't fail to finish the thought. He couldn't leave it hanging.

"How can I?" This time Bucky said the snarky reply, but there was no bite in his voice. "You're taking all the stupid with you." Just like Bucky did, Steve smiled and let out a little chuckle. How the roles have changed with time.

Steve didn't know who he was anymore. The boy he used to be, changed into a man he couldn't recognize.

Bucky was left with fragmented memories and broken pieces of a life. All he wanted was to go back to the boy he couldn't remember.

Two broken kids, lost in a time that is not their own, struggling to fit the pieces back together.

Steve pulled Bucky in for a hug, trying to hold those pieces together. They held each other tightly, daring the other to let go first. Maybe if they just didn't move, nothing had to change.

Captain America. God's righteous man.

Pretending you could live without a war.

Ultron's words echoed in Steve's brain and he pulled back suddenly, blinking wildly. Bucky watched him carefully, arms dropping to his side. Steve shook his head, trying to shake out the truth of Ultron's statement. Captain America was born into war, Steve wasn't. But as the years passed, it was getting hard to tell a difference between the two. Bucky watched the conflict on Steve's face, knowing how he felt but not making a comment on it.

"I'm going to miss you, buddy," Bucky said softly, and Steve finally looked up again. He forced a smile and reassuringly grabbed Bucky's shoulder.

"It's going to be ok, Buck." Steve lied straight through his teeth. Nothing about anything that happened was "okay". Life hadn't been "okay" in a long, long time. Bucky's smile was a fake as Steve's was, and without another chance to let himself think any longer, Steve walked away.

"Remember, you have to return the stones to the exact moment you got them, otherwise you're going to open up a bunch of nasty alternate realities," Bruce reminded Steve, who nodded along. He heard it a million times. The fate of the newly-returned free world rested on his shoulders, again.

"Don't worry, Bruce. Clip all the branches." Steve said blandly, picking up the case with all of the stones inside. In his other hand, he picked up Mjolnir, the familiar buzz of energy running up from his hand, through his arm and directly to his heart, matching each beat. Steve knew he could pick up Thor's hammer ever since Ultron. Why he kept it hidden he never fully understood, he just knew it wasn't something he wanted to share yet. There would be a time and place for that.

And there was. Watching Thor receive the beatdown of his life was not part of Steve's pastime, and Thanos had done too much damage to the Avengers. His friends. His family. Steve had noticed Thor had dropped his hammer, it was lying right by Steve's feet. Just waiting to be picked up. Already bruised and broken, Steve knew this was the advantage they needed. He had picked up Mjolnir without a second thought, a jolt of electricity running through his body as he easily picked it off the ground. Almost instantly he felt more powerful, more than he ever had before. The power was addicting, but now he knew how to use it.

Picking it up now, it was nothing compared to that first jolt of energy from on the battlefield. Now it was familiar, like an old friend. When electricity crackled through the metal it made his fingers tingle, but it was nothing to the sensation of picking it up for the first time.

"You ready, Cap?" Someone was talking now, but Steve couldn't tell who it was anymore. "Meet you back here."

"You bet."

"Going quantum in three… two… one... "

Before the world shrunk around him, Steve smiled at Bucky one last time, who struggled to return it. Then Steve was shrinking, while everything else around him grew enormously, until he was in the quantum tunnels, flying through time and energy. Without even thinking, Steve dropped off all of the stone in their exact place, making sure he wasn't spotted.

The Ancient One seemed to be expecting him, which was a little off-putting, but she smiled and thanked him for his service, so he brushed it off. It only gets stranger from there. He went back to the chaos of 2012 and found himself still unconscious, putting the stone back with the scepter. He went to the planet Morag and returned the power stone, careful not to burn himself as he put the stone back. Then was up to Asgard where he had to somehow get the Aether into Jane Foster. Steve didn't want to do anything like that again.

Checking the stones, he only had one more left before going back to 1970. The one he had been dreading even more than deciding between home and reality. Taking a deep breath, he shrunk down and traveled over to Vormir to return the soul stone. Where Natasha had died.

Steve opened his eyes when his feet landed on the mountain, and he let out a shaky breath. He could imagine Barton and Romanoff walking up the mountain, unknowing of the price they had to pay to get the stone. He couldn't guess what they were thinking as they realized the cost of such a small object, the object that was going to save the world. The partners had something special, something he would never understand. Their connection went deeper than almost anyone he had ever met, so he couldn't imagine the utter despair as they clung to life. As Natasha clung to life.

Steve shook his head, trying to push away those thoughts. The sooner he put the stone back, the sooner he could get out of there. He jogged to the edge, right to the cliff. Carefully he looked over the edge, holding back the bile that rose up his throat as he saw the rocks below, where Gamora's and Natasha's blood would stain them permanently.

Steve looked away so he didn't puke, and when he did he noticed a figure in a dark cloak floating ominously a few feet away. He couldn't see their face, but he recognized him as soon as he started speaking.

"Steven, son of Sarah," The Red Skull said quietly, pulling back his hood to reveal his bright red-head. Steve's face instantly morphed into a growl, and he started swinging Mjolnir around, ready for a fight.

"Red Skull. I thought I killed you decades ago." Steve's voice was low and dangerous, the case with the remaining stone discarded to the side as he gripped Mjolnir just that much tighter.

"You did. But the stone… saved me. Whether it be a blessing or a curse. It banished me here, damning me to eternity guiding others to a treasure I cannot possess."

"Are you expecting sympathy?"

"Not sympathy… understanding." Steve scoffed at the bluntness of his statement.

"If I were you, I wouldn't expect anything except death." With a roar, Steve let Mjolnir fly, aimed directly towards the Red Skull. To Steve's disappointment, the hammer flew straight through the Red Skull's cloak and continued ongoing.

"You cannot touch me, Captain. As alive as I look, I am dead. My soul is bound to these rocks for the rest of eternity. No moral weapons can touch me." A whistling noise grabbed the Red Skull's attention and he turned around to see Mjolnir flying towards him again. He sighed and watched dully as the hammer flew through him once more, ringing slightly as it returned to Steve's grip.

"Again, Captain…" As the Red Skull turned around, Steve shoved his hand into the center of Red Skull's cloak, the blue of the space stone glowing in his hand. He gritted his teeth as he felt the stone burning his hand, but it was all worth it to hear the satisfying scream of the Red Skull. The space stone took hold of whatever magic that was keeping Red Skull alive and burned through it, burning the former Nazi leader to a crisp. In a flash, he was gone and the cloak dropped to the ground, empty.

Steve dropped the space stone and groaned, clutching his hand close to his chest. The stone had burned through his glove but had only begun to touch the skin, leaving just a faint red mark behind. Lucky.

Left alone on the cliff, hand throbbing, Steve scooped up the soul stone from the case and held it in his hands. So many people died, over a little rock. With the Red Skull gone, Steve didn't know how people would get the stone, but with luck, no one would try to get it again. Part of Steve realized that if the Red Skull had truly been doomed to eternity here, he would be back.
"No mortal weapon can touch me," the man said. If that was true, then he would be back soon. Steve needed to leave before he did come back, or he was going to hit him with the stone again.

Thinking of Natasha, Steve took the soul stone and threw it as far as he could over the edge, watching as it disappeared over the edge of the cliff and fell to the ground, hopefully breaking. Letting out a breath, Steve fought back tears as he tried to understand what was going through Natasha's mind as she jumped over the edge. He couldn't understand, he didn't think he would ever understand.

Wiping his eyes and checking his hand, he glanced at the briefcase that held the final stone. One last jump.

Then he was flying through the quantum tunnels, twisting and turning through time and space to go back to 1970. Dropping to the ground on the outskirts of the base, the time-traveling suit retracted, leaving him in his regular Captain America suit. He couldn't go walking around the SHIELD base in that, he was supposed to be under the ice. Suddenly seeing Captain America up and walking around would be a shock to everyone here, and draw unwanted attention to himself.

"I'm sorry, kid," Steve said quietly as he dragged a kid behind the truck he was using for cover and knocked him out with one solid punch. It was the same kid he had stolen the clothes from when Steve and Tony came to the SHIELD base. Of course, the kid here didn't know that, but it was just unfortunate timing.

Changing quickly, he threw the soldier's uniform over his own, complete with a hat pulled low and a pair of sunglasses to cover his eyes. It wasn't perfect, but it would work for the time being. He only had one job.

Following the strangely familiar path, Steve rode the elevator down to the offices, saluting when he needed to and keeping his head low with the others. Not drawing attention to himself was the game, but for a man like Captain America, it wasn't an easy one. He went back down into the basement and returned the stone, easier than he remembered.

Somehow he pulled it off, then he was sneaking around until he was in the same dark office that he was before, where he had first seen Peggy. He stood in the darkness, watching through the window for any sign of Peggy. He continued to be aware of his surroundings, waiting for someone to burst into the office and kick him out, but no one came.

That included Peggy.

Her office stayed empty, and Steve knew he had to make a move. He could hear voices from outside the office he was hiding in, getting closer and closer. Just as the voices approached the door and turned the handle, Steve sprinted through the door leading to Peggy's office, shutting it right as people entered where he had previously been hiding.

Steve stayed silent as he leaned against the door, hoping that whoever was on the other side would grab whatever they needed and leave. Minutes passed and Steve's wish seemed to come true, the voices disappeared and he could hear the door shut behind them. He finally took a breath and started to move around Peggy's office. He stayed low to avoid people seeing a strange man snooping around her office.

Steve headed straight for the filing cabinets, looking for personnel files. It was getting into the evening, Peggy was probably heading home. Before he went under, Steve could've probably guessed where Peggy was at any given time. She was a busy bee, but he had a sixth sense for those types of things. Now, she could be anywhere.

Steve was used to this filing system, barely anything had changed from before he went under, so it was easy to find what he was looking for. Before he knew it, he had Peggy Carter's file in his hand, Classified stamped across the top. Steve held it in his hand carefully, as if he was scared to damage it. He laid it carefully on the top and pulled it open, pictures and documents staring back at him. He saw Peggy, beautiful and flawless, then he saw himself. Little Steve, before the serum. The boy he used to be.

Caught in a daze, Steve snapped back into what he was supposed to be doing. He flipped through papers and documents, finger running through the paper looking for one thing. His finger pressed hard onto the paper when he found it. Peggy's address. Memorizing it, Steve put the file back into the cabinet and closed it, trying to put everything back in order as he found it. The less evidence he was here, the better.

With the street names and numbers burned into his mind, Steve casually walked off the base. As soon as he left the base and hit the street, Steve was hit with a realization. He didn't have to do it now. He still had more Pym particles, he could go back to his time. He could see Peggy there. And he knew exactly where Peggy lived then. He didn't know why he didn't think of it before. It would be so much simpler, so much easier.

Still wearing the officer's uniform, Steve put the date into his quantum suit and the helmet snapped shut, sending him back to the past.

Steve landed on the front lawn of a simple house, small and homey. He took a deep breath and walked up the porch, staring at the door with his hand poised to knock. But before he could even touch the door the door swung up and an open-mouth Peggy Carter was staring directly at him.

"Steve?" She asked incredulously, looking him up and down. She couldn't believe it. Her shaking hand reached forward and touched the uniform, feeling the rough material under her fingers. Her hand moved up and touched his face, trying to see if he was real. Steve gently covered her hand with his own, smiling softly.

"Hi Peggy," He whispered. "This isn't exactly the Stork club, but I'm here about a rain check?" A ghost of a smile makes its way on his face. Out of the blue, a punch catches him across the face, but before he has time to recover, Peggy is kissing him. She grabbed his collar and pulled him down so they are locked together, desperately holding each other. When they finally let go, Peggy pulls away and punches him in the face again.

"What the bloody hell took you so long?" She said, tears filling up her eyes. Steve couldn't help but laugh.

"You always had the strangest way to show affection," he said with a wink, which made Peggy laugh out loud, even though it almost sounded like a sob.

"It's not affection, Steven, it's because you stood me up!" Peggy's smile turned into a frown as flashbacks of Steve crashing the plane forced themselves back up from whatever rock she tried to bury them under.

Peggy?

I'm here.

I'm going to need a rain check on that dance.

All right. A week, next Saturday. At the Stork Club.

You got it.

8:00 on the dot. Don't you dare be late. Understood?

You know, I still don't know how to dance.

I'll show you how. Just be there.

We'll have the band play something slow. I'd hate to step on you -

Steve? Steve?

Steve?

Peggy let a disrespectful tear fall as she tried to shake off the memory. Steve pulled her into a tight hug and she held on like the world was falling out beneath her feet. She pressed her head into his chest and blocked out the rest of the world. At some point, they were moving into her house as Steve shut the door behind him. Steve practically picked her up as they moved through the house and suddenly they were in her living room. He hit a button on the radio sitting on the table and a song filtered through the static and into the air. They both recognized the tune and Peggy almost started crying again.

Steve put her down and his hands shifted until one was pressed against the small of her back and the other held her hand out in front of them.

"Never thought you would be standing here so close to me."

They moved into a slow waltz, rocking back and forth in no discernible pattern as the music played around them.

"There's so much I feel that I should say but words can wait until some other day"

Steve pressed his cheek onto the top of Peggy's head, closing his eyes and just staying there, taking in the moment, Peggy gripped Steve's hand so tightly it was bound to leave a bruise, but now he was here and she didn't want to ever let him go.

"Kiss me once then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again."

Just as the lyrics played, Steve opened his eyes as Peggy moved her eyes, the two meeting each other's eyes. Gently, they broke into another kiss, soft and passionate, letting the gentle music sway them. Luckily, if neither of them let go, they wouldn't have to worry about going back to regular life ever again. So they danced, over and over again, letting each song that played move them. Maybe if they were careful enough, they would forget all of the time they weren't together.

"It's been a long, long, time."