Izuku-The Hexblade Hero; Chapter 16

Something witty to go here followed up by a witty swear joke.

Also, if you're not into that gay shit than skip the Omake.


"You want what!" All Might stood up, flinching as the move aggravated his injury.

"The Bones of a hero, purified by the earth." The Eldritch Godling said simply, "Magic is fickle and often requires obscure and macabre rituals."

"And what else would this require?" All Might growled, "As if grave robbing wasn't enough, what other crimes would you ask me to commit!"

"The rest is pretty legal to get," The patron sighed, "Just annoying."

A moment of silence passed.

"You may want to write this down; magic tends to need very specific things." Thou Whom Agony is Time sighed, snapping Izuku's fingers and causing an open notebook and pen to appear in front of All Might.

"Alright, outside of the bones of a hero, I'm going to need Two memories of a Dear Nature, Three tears of a Virgin Maiden collected under a full moon, Four Drops of a Father Feys Blood, Ice of a Silver Dragon collected at Dusk, Fire of a Gold Dragon Collected at Dawn, A Secret long meant to be forgotten, an Intense desire, a kiss of mothers love, and a memento of joyous bliss long since passed." The patron quirked a brow at the hero, "You got all that?"

"Most of those sound impossible to get." All Might pointed out as he sat down.

"Oh, difficult surely, but not impossible!" The Patron chuckled, "You don't think I wouldn't bring this up if I knew how to get these, do you?"

"But why a body?" All Might's brow furrowed, "How does most of this help make a sword?"

"Well, we're more upgrading a sword than anything." Thou Whom Agony is Time gestured to the sword, "The body and memento are meant to fuel the fire and further enchant the blade, the metaphysical stuff to shape the magic, and the blood, tears, and Ice are meant to enchant the blade when we quench it."

"But why the body of a hero?" All Might asked, exhaustion bleeding into his tone.

The Eldritch godling shrugged, "Their power and lifestyle will affect what's left in the blade when I'm gone, and good people are usually easier to trust with power than evil or neutral ones."

"Leave behind?" All Might simply asked.

"Leaving behind a magical blade without a conscience to guide its power is a bad idea." The patron answered simply.

"It won't be one for one, but the personality will take after the body and might take a few traits of other people depending on where certain objects come from."

All Might stilled, "So are you saying that-"

"No, I am not." Thou Whom Agony is Time cut off, "At most, it would be a clone."

"However, other magics could allow for what you're asking."

All Might's Eyes snapped towards Izuku's, his patron's presence shining through. "What's the catch?"

"Outside of the fact I'm asking you to rob a grave?" The patron scoffed, earning an unamused glare from All Might, "The person has to be willing to resurrect, else the spell fails."

"It still sounds too good to be true." All Might slumped into his chair.

"It's a spell of the highest caliber, that's kind of their job." The patron chuckled, "You're only getting this offer because it's from me."

"I'll need to think about this." All Might sighed, "For now I'd like to talk to my student."

"Fair enough, think of what I've offered you All Might and think hard about it, I am in no rush." The Patron said before receding to the back of Izuku's mind.

"All Might, I-" Izuku started, hoping to ease the tension his patron left.

"So, what was the last thing I told you to do?" All Might cut off, shifting the subject with a knowing grin.

"You asked me to…" Izuku trailed off, realizing exactly what was about to happen.

"Yeah." All Might gently flicked Izuku on the forehead, "You're in trouble, kid."

'Ah, shi-'


'So, what should we do with our day off?' Izuku idly mused while spinning in his computer chair, glancing at the sleeping Eri who had long since stolen his bed and gently smiling.

"Hell if I know, you should ask Mommadoriya if she has any plans or ideas."

Izuku blinked, 'You know, I haven't spent much time with her lately…'

"Trying to make up for almost a decade of training just to get on an equal footing of your peers in less than a year will do that." The patron snarked, causing Izuku to wince.

'Really?' The teen sighed, 'Is that how you want to start today?'

"Eh, low blows can be good at motivating people." The patron chuckled, "So you should thank me."

Izuku rolled his eyes, 'Thank you, oh merciful one, for insulting me.'

"You're welcome, my pathetic servant!" The eldritch godling laughed, "Now go talk to your mom."

"You really cleaned up this place, didn't you?" Inko marveled as her recently doubled family strolled down Dagobah beach, Izuku carrying a trash bag to collect any stray litter left behind by assho- strangers…

"Yeah, it wasn't fun." Izuku shuddered as he remembered trying to get that truck frame up the stone steps, "But it was worth it!"

"What was it like before?" Eri asked as she watched her feet sink into the sand, having acclimated well to the new experience.

"It was completely covered in trash; you wouldn't have been able to walk more than five feet in any direction before I started." Izuku sighed as he stuffed a can into his bag, "I don't even know why someone would go through the trouble of leaving a fridge down here!"

"That must have been fun to move!" Inko chuckled.

"I swear, if any of it worked, I could've gotten us a new kitchen set!" Izuku lamented.

"That would've been nice, I would like to have a microwave with a turntable." Inko sighed, "But no use wasting money when we have a perfectly good one!"

"What's the difference?" Cole asked as he copied Eri, digging his feet into the sand and wiggling his toes free.

"One's with turntables usually are cheaper and use the rotation of a plate to help make sure the item is evenly heated, one without a table is more expensive but has fewer moving parts to worry about." Inko explained, not noticing her son freeze partly through her explanation.

"I'm an idiot!" Izuku's declaration was harmonized with the sound of flesh slapping flesh.

"No, you're not," Inko immediately denied, "Why do you think that?"

"Microwaves!" Izuku answered unhelpfully. Seeing his mother's confused and worried face he continued, "All Might's explanation makes so much more sense now!"

"Watch!" Izuku took a firmer stance in the sand, his skin beginning to glow with the power of his quirk a moment later.

"Izuku, honey please be-!" Inko began to worriedly warn her son, only to watch as he shot upwards and over her head with a gleeful cry.

And then unceremoniously crash into the water several meters away.

"Isn't he going to be cold?" Eri asked as Izuku steadily made his way back up the beach.

"Oh, most certainly," Inko sighed, "But I think he's going to be too happy to care."


"I'm just saying, why are they called 'donuts' if they look like uncut bagels?" Thou Whom Agony is Time continued his rant, "I would expect the pretzel to be called a donut since 'nut' sounds like 'knot' as opposed to the smooth ring a donut is!"

'Where it not for the fact I know you don't sleep, I would ask if you were sleep-deprived.' Izuku sighed as he tried to focus on his classmate's talk about the aftermath of the USJ incident.

"Good morning class," Aizawa grumbled as he shambled into class the next day, looking more akin to a mummy than a pro hero, and a shocked silence settled over his class as they processed his appearance. "What?"

"Uh, should you be moving like that?" Kaminari was the first to voice the question.

"The answer to that is irrelevant," Aizawa grunted.

'So, the answer is 'no' then.' Was the basic thought that ran through the class's mind.

"We have something important to discuss today, and I don't trust a substitute to properly do it." Aizawa continued, ignoring the deadpanned look he was receiving from most of his class. "Something that will be greatly important to your possible careers as hero's."

'That's rather ominous.' Izuku thought as the tension in the room rose.

"I personally smell bullshit."

"The Sports Festival is coming up," Aizawa said simply, causing the tension to drain from the room.

"I was worried there for a moment!" Kirishima sighed, an excited grin on his face.

"You should be," Aizawa grunted in a cold voice, "The sports festival can make or break your careers as heroes, and you only get three shots to shine."

"Most of you will be participating, so don't think that just because you have three chances it means you can slack off," Aizawa cautioned "Doing well in this will affect your internship opportunities, and those are valuable for making connections when you become sidekicks."

"Sir, you said most of us?" Iida asked while raising his hand, "Does that mean some of us have been barred from participating?"

"No," Aizawa answered simply, "This is technically an optional event, so you can choose to not participate as some of you have."

"However, this contest is also a prime opportunity for the school to allow internal transfers, so not participating is a good way to get yourself placed in the general studies and allow those with promise to get into the hero course."

"I wonder who's already withdrawn?" Izuku mumbled as he mentally went over the list of possible candidates for his class.

"Judging by the fear I feel coming from directly behind you, I think it's him." Thou Whom Agony is Time suggested.

Izuku tried to subtly turn and look at the smaller boy behind him, finding Mineta was staring intently at his desk and fidgeting as the class around him unknowingly mumbled about him.

'I feel like I should comfort him,'

"Well, judging by his temperament you would have to be very careful." Thou Whom Agony is Time cautioned, stilling Izuku's hand, "He probably went through something traumatic with USJ, something I'm surprised most of your class didn't experience."

'I feel like I should still do something.'

"Bring it up with Aizawa, although judging by how he's talked he already knows."

"You have two weeks to prepare for the festival, I suggest you use that time wisely," Aizawa said with a note of finality.

"Izuku, come with me." The mummified man ordered as he shuffled back to the door, causing a spike of anxiety to ripple through Izuku.

'Oh god, what did I do?' Izuku worried as the class around him began to share worried looks, echoing his thoughts.

"My money is on Nezu wanting to talk to me." Thou Whom Agony is Time guessed, trying to comfort his servant.

'That would make sense.' Izuku relaxed somewhat.

'This is not the principal's office!' Izuku all but mentally shouted when he saw the room labeled "Teacher's Lounge", his anxiety skyrocketing.

"Yeah, I have no clue what's going on here." Thou Whom Agony is Time helpfully supplied.

"Don't take too long, you still have classes," Aizawa grunted as he situated himself in a sleeping bag by the teacher's lounge door.

Izuku hesitated a moment before pushing the door open, a subtle feeling of wrongness overtaking him as he entered the normally restricted room.

"Ah, Izuku!" Thirteen waved him over, situated in her repaired suit on a black leather couch, situated in a corner of the beige room, a cup of tea situated on the coffee table in front of her, "Come have a seat, I've been wanting to talk to you!"

'Oh, I wonder what she wants to talk about.' Izuku idly thought as he relaxed seeing the familiar face.

"What did you want to talk about?" Izuku asked as he sat on the surprisingly soft couch.

"I was just hoping you'd help keep a secret for me." Thirteen asked vaguely.

"Sure?" Izuku's tone made the answer seem more like a question, 'How many heroes am I going to learn the secrets of?'

"Hey, makes good blackmail material."

'I am not blackmailing pro heroes.'

"It's nothing major!" Thirteen waved off, "I'm just shy and would rather no-one learn about how I actually look is all!"

Izuku thought for a moment as he rolled through his lexicon of hero information, remembering that no-one knew what Thirteen looked like, her identity is one of the few that was concealed so not even her school day photo's where easily accessible.

"Oh, you can trust me!" Izuku gave an unsteady grin, "Even if I did talk about it online or something, without a picture no one would believe me!"

Izuku felt an arm wrap around him as he was pulled into the surprisingly soft exterior of Thirteens suite.

"Just err on the side of caution and don't talk, okay?" She said in a sweet voice that promised pain as she hugged him.

"Okay!" Izuku squeaked, face turning red.

"Good lord, you are such a virgin." Thou Whom Agony is Time mocked his servant, "This doesn't count for your punishment by the way."

"Now you should get to class," Thirteen patted Izuku on the back, "And remember, no blabbing!"

'Well, this day is off to an interesting start.' Izuku idly thought as he stumbled out of the teacher's lounge.


"So, you're wanting to be a hero for the money?" Izuku asked in surprise.

"Yeah…" Uraraka trailed off as she fidgeted with her hair, "You probably think I'm a bad person."

"Not really, no." Izuku said, trying to comfort her.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a financially secure lifestyle." Iida added, "You're willing to work for it and it's in a field that is dedicated to helping people, so it works out as a net boon in the end."

"But it just seems so… selfish…" Uraraka tried to argue.

"Oh yeah, really selfish." Thou Whom Agony is Time scoffed, "How dare she want to take care of her parents, that's absolutely abhorrent compared to wanting to be the center of attention or be an unbeatable symbol."

'I feel like you're insulting me, but you have a point.' Izuku thought.

"Not just you, but you do fall into that bracket."

"Uraraka," Izuku started, trying to reformat his patron's words in a more… presentable way, "You want to make money to give your parents an easy life, right?"

The brunette nodded.

"Well, that seems less selfish than me or Iida's." Izuku gestured to himself and his taller friend, "I mean, me and him both want to be like someone else so you can say were solely driven by our sake. You're doing this for someone else sake."

Izuku took a deep breath before reaching out and placing a hand on Uraraka's head, both their faces reddening,

"That seems pretty selfless to me!" Izuku finished with what he hoped was a confident smile.

"I genuinely didn't expect you to have the balls to do that this quickly." Izuku's patron clapped slowly, "There's one down, five more to head pat."

"And don't forget that hug~" Thou Whom Agony is Time teased.

"Young Midoriya!" A familiar and boisterous voice called out, giving both teens a clean excuse to ignore the awkward situation growing.

"Yes Sir!" Izuku yelped, quickly drawing back his hand.

"Would you like to have lunch with me?" All Might asked, a brow raised and a knowing gleam in his eye.

"Would either of you guys mind?" Izuku turned to his friends, neither him nor Uraraka making eye contact.

"Not at all." Iida said with a smile.

"Sure, have fun!" Uraraka said quickly.

"Alright, see you guys later!" Izuku said stiffly following his idle.

"... So, is there anything you want to talk about?" Iida asked with a teasing grin.

"Nope!" Uraraka answered quickly, stiffly rushing down the hallway to the lunchroom.

"So, you managed to get ahold of five percent of your power yesterday?" All Might asked, pride clear in his voice.

"Yeah, mom said something that made your egg in a microwave analogy click."

"I guess that's my failing as a teacher then." All Might sighed, "I'm glad that this should help you get ready for what I'm about to ask of you."

Izuku tensed as All Might's countenance grew serious, "You already know the importance of Sports Festival, correct?"

Izuku nodded.

"Good, you already know that you need to perform well so that you can get a good internship." All Might took a deep breath, "But as my successor, I need you to go a step beyond."

"I need you to win the sports festival!" All Might declared, opening his arms wide in a display of theatrics. "You must use this as your declaration, tell the world "I Am Here!"."

"All Might, I-" Izuku started to stutter, only to be cut off by All Might.

"I will admit, I was worried that you wouldn't be able to live up to that without hurting yourself, but with you getting ahold of five percent of One for All I have no doubts you can do it." All Might chuckled, "I kind of feel bad about contacting my old teacher now."

"Yeah, I'm also not going to give you much of a choice." Thou Whom Agony is Time added on, "I want you to show off as my star servant, plus I want to use this to scout out your school."

"Scout out?" Izuku asked aloud.

"Pardon?" All Might asked, deflating slightly as his theatrics didn't seem to inspire the reaction he wanted.

"Sorry, Agony said he wanted to use the sports festival as a chance to scout the school," Izuku explained.

"You want more warlocks?" All Might asked, knowing the patron was listening in on the conversation.

"Mouth please." Izuku's patron asked, quickly taking control when allowed.

"Of course, I want more Warlocks." Thou Whom Agony is Time emphasized like it was an obvious point. "I've been using Izuku as an insight to this world, more Warlocks will help with that."

"Plus, Hierophant asked me to keep an eye out for some prospects for her." The eldritch godling sighed, "She's rather lazy like that."

"I don't know how I feel about this." All Might said simply as he pinched his brow, "You're a real headache you know that?"

"There's a reason that that people went through the process of sealing me away for a couple of eons." The Patron stretched Izuku face into a mischievous grin. "Besides, you don't really get much of a choice, it's up to who I choose to decide."

"Just don't mess up my students." All Might sighed, "You've got a good track record with Izuku thus far, but if you do bring undue harm to them, I will find a way to kick your ass."

"I would expect nothing less, Symbol of Peace." Thou Whom Agony is Time chuckled, retreating into Izuku's soul.

"It is so weird whenever he talks through you." All Might shuttered. "Also, don't think I haven't forgotten about your punishment."

'It would be nice if he would think of something rather than hold it over my head.' Izuku mentally grumbled.

"Maybe that's the punishment?"

'I really hope not.'


-One Week Later-

To say he was angry would be an understatement.

To say he was furious, would be an understatement.

This was an outrage, and he would not let this go unpunished.

Overhaul readjusted his mask as he watched the video footage again. Watching as a scrawny teen stood over the comatose body of his boss, holding the shivering form of his tool and seemingly in deep contemplation.

Somehow, some-fucking-how this was the only footage of the intruder. He had somehow slipped into the base and navigated the maze-like halls of the base all the way to one of the most heavily guarded parts of the entire complex and stolen what was rightfully his.

Overhaul had killed the goon he tasked to watch Eri, who had apparently been in the room when the bastard kidnapped her. Oh, how he regretted not putting him back together just so he could kill him a couple more times.

The buzz of the office phone next to him drew him out of his contemplation, the masked germaphobe reached out and carefully plucked the device with a gloved hand, holding the receiver just close enough so he could hear.

"What?" He growled.

"We found her." His most trusted assistant voice was even, almost cold, but to Overhaul it sounded like an angel's song.

"Where?" He all but shouted, shooting up from his seat.

"Already sent you the files we have on them." His computer dinged with the sound of a received email.

Overhaul took a steadying breath, lowering himself back into his seat as he clicked open the email and skimming through the intel gathered.

"So, nothing on the brat who broke in?" Overhaul finally asked as he flicked through the files searching for the man in question.

"Showed up about a week ago, earliest images we got on him are from the break-in." Chronos sighed, "He's a ghost, sir."

"But we do know where he is now." Overhaul stated, the beginnings of a plan forming as he watched a recorded clip of the strange group, a green-haired teen launching himself into the ocean in an impressive use of his quirk.

"Say, isn't the sports festival coming up?" Overhaul chuckled into the receiver as he pulled open the green-haired student's student ID.


-Omake, Checking in with an alternate; Fiend Pact-

"Do something evil, Dammit!" Mephistopheles raged from within dark shadow.

"Excuse me, I am breaking several laws!" Izuku responded in an overly offended tone, continuing to click away on his computer, Tokoyami snuggling into him firmly situated on his lap. "Which is what our contract specified as an evil act!"

"Pirating music is not what I meant!" The demon roared, pulling back a hand to strike the teen.

"Remember, if you do any unjust harm to me or my loved ones it's a breach of contract!" Izuku smirked, "And any breach of contract on either side will result in a complete transferal of the offending party's properties."

Mephistopheles lowered his hand, "Fine, but until you do something evil, I specify I will refuse to grant you higher power."

"Alright, what's something evil you want me to do?" Izuku turned his full attention to the demon, crossing his arms and intentionally unintentionally giving the avian headed teen in his lap a hug.

"Eat a baby!" The Devil demanded, thinking he had put his most troublesome servant in check.

"Does it have to be one whole baby, or can it be the mass of several babies added together?" Izuku asked, "Also does it have to be a born or can it be unborn?"

"As long as you eat an average baby's worth it doesn't matter how many infants it comes from, born or unborn." The Devil grinned, reveling in the corruption he was inflicting on his servant.

"Alright, deal." Izuku held his hand out, having thought to include a clause in his contract that all contracts after that point made between the two had to follow the rules of first in terms of protection.

"Deal!" Mephistopheles cried in glee.

"Alright," Izuku turned to the bird in his lap, "Tokoyami, mind if I sick your dick I kinda need to fulfill a contract."

"Pardon?" Mephistopheles asked as Tokoyami raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I need to eat a baby's worth of unborn children, right?" Izuku asked, Mephistopheles dreading where the green-haired boy's mind had twisted his order, "Ergo, Semen is an option."

"You're going to try and suck a baby's worth of semen out of Tokoyami?"

"Technically a single load is a baby's worth," Izuku shrugged, "But a time frame wasn't set, so I can take as much time as I need to get an actual baby's mass. Assuming he says yes that is."

"I'm fine with it," Tokoyami said in a neutral voice, although he could feel the avian teen's excitement grow.

Mephistopheles was quiet for a moment, "You must break a law while doing so, that was a clause in your contract!"

"Alright," Izuku shrugged, nonplussed. "Tokoyami, would you follow me to the roof?"

"Again, I must repeat." The Devil sighed, "Pardon?"

"Public Nudity, Public Masturbation, and Public Sex are all illegal." Izuku explained, "So going up to the very public roof and sucking my boyfriend off while pleasing myself is like three different crimes in one fun activity."

"...You're clever and I hate it." Mephistopheles sighed, "I'll leave it to you then."

"Are you sure about that?" Izuku asked with a grin, "Last I checked there was a section that said something like 'All subsequent contracts will require the requester to be present during fulfillment' near the end."

"Your ass is grass Midoriya," Mephistopheles growled, "And I'm going to mow it."

"Actually, that's Tokoyami's job if he's willing that is." Izuku chuckled as he lifted himself and his boyfriend from their chair and headed to the roof of his apartment.


There was a fun lull while writing this chapter where I wasn't getting anything worth a damn done, so I decided to make a very gay Omake to make for it.

And of course, after deciding that this thing decided to let me write it in a day.

The next chapter should be the start of the sports festival, a fun beach day, and possibly a crime committed. None of that in order.

Have a good whatever Now!

Sceptical, what have you done?

What have you done?