Chapter 17
Tanith
The flurry of thoughts, angry and confused, whirring around Tanith's mind dissipated as soon as she felt his lips touching hers. She was initially frozen, unable to respond to what was happening. Was he really kissing her? Was this a dream her 12-year-old self would awake from back in Folder Castle?
No. Theon Greyjoy was real. And he was kissing her.
Tanith's legs buckled as she fell into the kiss, and on cue Theon grabbed her and held her up so she would not fall. Her stomach leapt, and her heart danced furiously as she lightly rested her hands on his chest. She did not know what to do, where to hold onto him. The kiss was at first soft, slow and rhythmic with one another's movements, until his hands moved to the small of her back and held a protective grip on her as the kiss became more rough and passionate. She was surprised when she felt the warm wetness of his tongue massaging hers, but she loved it and reciprocated. Theon's lips moved away from hers. He looked deep into her eyes, and Tanith let out a small gasp. This was the most serious she had ever seen him, and it fascinated her.
"I wanted to do that for a long time."
She nodded, trying to disguise her breathlessness. "I could tell."
Theon smirked. "I know, I went in didn't I?"
"I am not complaining," she said. "Guess that's what happens when things build up."
"Things?"
"Yes, well. Thoughts. Feelings." She cringed inside at the mention of that word. She needn't get ahead of herself – after all, Theon was a young man, and it could just be momentary lust mixed with a few drinks.
Theon smiled at her, and took her hand in his. He stroked her palm with his thumb, tracing the lines softly and tucking a stray strand of her hair away from her face with his other hand.
"Theon! Come an' have a drink!" the drunken roars of some nearby soldiers interrupted their perfect reverie. Theon tried to ignore them, but they came closer and shouted louder.
"Shit," he quipped, letting go of Tanith and taking a step back. Tanith must've looked disappointed, because a look of worry shot across his face with the flickers of the nearby firelight in the dark night. "Sorry, not what I meant. Just don't want that lot teasing. Wish they would fuck off."
"It's alright," Tanith said. She agreed with him, for once. The last thing she needed was more attention and gossip swirling around her. "I should retire. I'll see you in the morning."
"Let's talk after we make camp tomorrow night. Away from everyone."
She nodded, and Theon shot her one last grin before trudging off to join the men, who were clinking tankards, singing and swearing loudly. As she headed to her tent, she watched as he feigned laughter at their jokes, ignored a whore who was flirting with him and offering him more beer, and looked back at her.
The journey began early, much to the disdain of the majority of the camp who had enjoyed a little too much merriment the night before. Tanith had enjoyed last night too, but for different reasons.
She sat with Talisa in a wagon with the medical supplies, while Theon rode his horse with Robb, Catelyn and the Tullys up front. She would occasionally turn to look for her, but failed to see her crouched behind all the equipment so far back in the procession. Tanith managed to spot him every time, and it made something in her burn to know she was in his thoughts.
"You seem very sprightly today," Talisa remarked, probably noticing her smiling constantly. "Something you want to tell me?"
Tanith blushed. "Just excited for a change of scene, that's all."
"Hmm, I've noticed Theon is just as excited for this… change of scene, too."
Tanith looked at her. "I'm sure I do not know what you mean," she tried to say firmly, but her thoughts intercepted her facial expression and she began to smile uncontrollably.
Talisa's eyes lit up. "Did something happen with you two?"
Realising her friend was not going to give up, Tanith sighed, leaned towards Talisa and whispered. "We kissed." Talisa's dark eyes twinkled with excitement.
"You must tell all!" Tanith shook her head shyly.
"You must hold your tongue," Tanith hissed. "The last thing I want is for everyone to know and be the talk of the camp."
"You can tell me anything," Talisa said, resting a hand on her shoulder. They were both jolted by the wagon riding over a hole in the road. "Besides, we've got a long journey ahead."
The ladies talked in whispers about Tanith's budding friendship with Theon, how they bickered and infuriated each other but that there was something sizzling between them that Tanith felt was about to boil over at any moment.
"I feel like such a foolish girl," she sighed. "I am having all these… feelings. I have little in the way of experience so I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling or doing. Or even if Theon feels the same."
"Robb seems to think he does," Talisa said. "I do not know Theon very well, but Robb has grown up with him. He has told me he has never seen him like this with anyone."
Tanith nodded. "Yes, he did tell me that, that day Theon and I quarrelled."
"Which time?" Talisa asked, smirking, and they erupted into laughter before correcting themselves as a couple of soldiers looked their way.
"Oh, I don't know, Talisa, he can irritate me as much as he excites me. What if I am getting myself so bothered over something that may not work?"
"I cannot pretend to be the fountain of experience in this area either Tanith," she said. "But all I can say is that Robb and I tried to ignore our feelings for each other, but in the end it was futile. You can try and blot out that voice in your head, but what is in your heart may take over."
Tanith smiled. She admired Talisa and Robb's relationship, and wanted something like it for herself one day. And despite her experience with the Mountain, she was beginning to desire a man's touch. She was eighteen years old, not a child. She was having those feelings too.
As if she could read her mind, Talisa spoke again. "An important question to ask yourself is: do you want him?" Tanith studied her expression, and they understood what they meant without saying it. They were ladies after all… to a point.
"Oh, I…. well, I am no fool. I have heard the rumours of him." Tanith tried to say with a straight face before the two of them fell into another fit of giggles. "But that's what also worries me."
"You think he won't be impressed?"
Tanith nodded. She liked that Talisa could just get to the point without skirting around the issue. She had no one else to talk with about things like that, and while these thoughts were certainly making their home in her mind more comfortably these days, she was still shy when it came to discussing them casually.
"You are not a whore, Tanith, so Theon does not expect you have had the experience of one," she said. "If you progress, he will know what to expect."
"I think I still would want to wait," Tanith replied. "Until I am married. That is why I am confused about Theon. I do not want to continue a possible liaison with him and give him hope for something, if he is not to be my husband."
"Then just lay your cards on the table," Talisa said. "That way, you'll know his intentions from his reaction. But who says you have to rush?"
That was true. Tanith recalled Theon's conversation with her about trying to be a gentleman and respect her boundaries. It ended up making her more confused about how he felt for her, but he still thought to act reservedly. But at the same time, time was an issue. They would be arriving at Seagard any day, and Theon would go his way to Pyke, while she would continue with the army. She may never see him again, and all would be a waste. At least if there was a promise made, she could wait for him wherever their paths took them. But if things were left unsaid, she could be waiting for something that would never come.
