The air burned with toxic fumes and a heat so strong that Elsa's magic could barely keep up. The ice constantly coating and recoating her skin was the only thing keeping her from being debilitatingly burned and it steamed off of her in waves not unlike Oaken's Sauna. That thought reminded her of how far away her home was. How far away the Northuldra and Arendelle were. How far away Anna was.
Even Honeymaren was out of her reach right now, though the physical distance was much closer. All Elsa wanted was to be in Mare's arms, or Anna's. Maybe both at once in one big group hug with Kristoff and Olaf.
The thoughts gave her something to focus on that wasn't the way her fingers ached and bled as she dragged herself up the mountain. Her knees and palms were skinned. And the heat. The heat
Elsa's hair clung to her scalp, neck and back, sweaty and covered in ash. Lava rumbled past, close enough that Honeymaren would have been cooked alive and even Elsa could feel that heat. Her ice steamed up more, obscuring her view, and yet she climbed, she climbed until her arms grew weak, her muscles straining to the breaking point.
And then, at last, just as Elsa feared her powers might give out and she'd be roasted alive, she reached the top. She wavered a few seconds, then sank to the ground and rested on her knees for a moment. Just a moment, just a moment to rest and to remind herself of why she was here. Elsa grasped onto those thoughts again. She grasped for Anna and Honeymaren, for the Northuldra and the people of Arendelle. And for everyone else who even now lay in slumber.
She'd always tried to rely on only herself, even at the same time as placing too much pressure on Anna to be her rock. She knew now that both things were unhealthy. But having those people in her life made it a richer one.
It was just a little harder than usual to feel human at the moment, with the human halves of her heart out of reach. Elsa took a breath and coughed, before humming Anna's favorite song. She realized, just then, she didn't actually know Honeymaren's, or even Kristoff's. Elsa wondered if she was a bad friend...
The mountain rocked beneath her and if she hadn't been kneeling she would have fallen over. She heard and felt the explosion of lava before she saw the smoke rising, lifting her hands to cool the air around her, and the air actually responded.
With numb fingers, Elsa fished around her pouch for the paper Mare had written on. The symbols of the elements, with Elsa at the center. The word written over, and over again.
Whole.
Elsa forced herself to stand on weak legs, closing her eyes, and reaching out around her, trying to draw all the moisture out of the air that she could, from as far away as the storm that still raged around the coast of this island and beyond. For all she knew, the storm stretched all the way to Arendelle.
She was the fifth spirit, one half of the bridge between the lands of enchantment and the world of humans. She understood now, thanks to what Mare had found, at least a part of what that meant.
It wasn't that she was simply the Snow Queen or an Ice Witch. But Elsa was magic and that magic was out of balance. Ice was her primary strength and in many ways defined her life, but her powers had always extended farther than that. Elsa realized that to be complete, to find balance, to be whole...
With a thought, she could feel Gale faintly, far away and sense the presence of the Nokk as it raced around Arendelle frantically searching for her. Even Bruni was a faint spark at the back of her mind. And … Anna, she could almost hear the beat of her sleeping heart.
Elsa reached out to calm them and she understood. She had tamed the Nokk and braved that ancient beast and wasn't ice simply frozen water? She could pull the moisture from the air and relive the memories it had known! Did not a blizzard require the wind? Could she not control the heat around her and bring the temperature down; or up, linking her in a way to the fire that now raged beneath this mountain?
And Earth … well Earth was her sister most of all, but Earth was physical, sturdy strength, the steady demeanor that had served her for so long. A connection that Elsa had unknowingly used to build her palace and ensure it was on even ground without realizing that was what she was doing.
To be that balance and that bridge, Elsa needed to understand how they all worked, together and separately and tap into those parts of herself. Elsa could not control the other spirits and elements, but she could work with them, listen to them just as she had listened and worked with the people of Arendelle as Queen.
Listen, in the same way she was reaching out to the spirits she knew; but those weren't the only spirits who could be listening.
Elsa held her arms out, a ray shooting into the sky above her in a dazzling display of fractals and light. It spun and twisted and then shattered. And the storm swept in, swirling around her. Rain and sleet and snow battered at her and she drew it all into her until she could hold the storm in the palm of her hand. The water and the wind and the fire of lightning and the ground beneath her holding her steady.
Light flashed between her palms, a steadily fading thunder beat.
The mountain stopped rumbling, the ground stilling beneath her weary feat. And the temperature dropped as the lava cooled and Elsa breathed freely for the first time in days.
She let the storm go and watched the sun rise, lifting her head to feel it on her soot-covered face.
?
There wasn't a part of Elsa's body that didn't hurt. Her fingers and hands were the worst, and wrapping them in shreds from her cloak only helped so much. Her feet, too, were in agony, though she at least had been wearing boots for this trip. The cold might rarely be a problem but jagged volcanic rocks stopped for no woman.
Elsa's muscles protested with every step she took down the mountain, and it seemed to take a lot longer than it had to climb, even with most of the ash having mysteriously vanished. It was over, at least. But she wouldn't really believe it until she saw her Honeymaren's eyes open and gazing at her. Until Anna was safe in her arms. Until she could walk through Arendelle and the Forest and see for herself everyone was okay.
The sun was at its zenith by the time she found where she'd sheltered Honeymaren. The ice was still intact, though pitted from the ash that no longer coated it, and Elsa pulled it away with the full force of her magic, sending the whole structure collapsing down a hill and into a tree.
Maren lay on her side, wrapped around the little stuffed toy. At the sound, she stirred, rolling onto her back and then sitting up bolt straight. "Elsa!"
Elsa fell to her knees, the last of her energy gone. Maren was at her side a heartbeat later, arms around her, hands stroking her ash-caked hair. Elsa coughed and clung to her. "You found the answer."
"Wholeness," Maren whispered. "How do you feel?"
"I feel like shit." Elsa rolled so that her head was in Maren's lap and she could look up at her. Maren blinked once, then started to laugh, and after a moment, Elsa joined her.
"Please stop almost killing yourself, I like taking care of you but this is getting ridiculous."
"I don't want to make this a common thing either."
Mare stroked Elsa's nose. "You need a bath."
"I think we both do, but the streams are probably clogged with ash." Elsa wasn't sure if what she'd done would have somehow cleaned the water, but the air certainly felt clean and the only ash she could see around them was that stuck to the both of them.
Mare hummed in thought, "We can always go check. Make a little sled I can pull you in."
Elsa did as she was asked, though she was distracted by a very important question. "Mare, what's your favorite song?"
"Uhm." Maren gently picked Elsa up and laid her on the sled, and started to pull it behind her. "I like a lot of music, but I'd have to say my favorite is one my father used to sing."
"Not a lullaby?"
She looked back at Elsa and smiled, "No, not a lullaby. A song for calling the reindeer, actually."
"Can you sing it for me?" Elsa asked.
"I will," Mare promised. "But let's get cleaned up first."
The stream turned out to be very clean, as though the Volcano's anger had never been. Elsa was too tired to think overly hard about it, and too tired, even, to enjoy Honeymaren stripping the both of them down. She tried to joke, "I'm a little too tired for that."
"I want to wash our clothing too," Mare said, though she flushed. "... how do you really feel?"
"I already told you." Elsa helped Maren get her to her feet as best she could, and leaned against her.
"I mean… "
Elsa interrupted her. "How do I feel about this being my fault too, like everything else?"
"I'm sor-" Maren quieted when Elsa put a finger over her mouth.
"I'm a little worried what other surprises are in store for us, but I'm not… angry at myself. I was born to protect, and if I'm out of balance, I can't do what I was born to do." She smiled at Mare, and hoped she'd understand that she'd never lie to her, "and I mean that."
"Okay. So what does it mean for the future?"
Now that was a good question, one that Elsa pondered as Honey helped her into the chilly stream. The water washing over her made her want to make lewd sounds, but she settled for leaning her head back and letting Maren clean her hair with her fingers and a brush. "I'm the Snow Queen, Mare. My element will always be ice, and I'll always be in my element in the heart of winter. But winter can't exist without the other seasons and the elements are all intertwined."
"I was right." Mare leaned over and kissed Elsa's forehead, then scooted further into the stream, seemingly determined to scrub them both raw. Her teeth weren't chattering yet, but Elsa kept an eye on that.
She nodded, and lifted her hands out of the water. Carefully, Elsa unwound her makeshift bandages and let the stream carry them away. Her knuckles were cracked and most of her nails were broken. "For climbing a volcano, this isn't that bad."
Mare gently inspected them. "It's still pretty bad…" Her eyes flicked up to Elsa's, and as if realizing it for the first time, she whispered, "You really are mortal…"
For reasons Elsa wasn't even sure of herself, she'd never expected not to be. She opened her arms wide, and Maren cuddled in against her, pressing hard and shivering in the cold water. Elsa held her close, ignoring the occasional jab of pain from her hands and everywhere else. "I'm human, just like you."
Slowly, she sat up, "Almost. Get out of the water and dry off before you get sick."
"According to Anna, you can get sick too." Maren tilted her head, "Guess that was a give-away."
"Yes, but I don't get sick from cold water and chattering teeth. Out!"
Mare held up her hands and climbed out of the stream, affording Elsa the best possible view as she did so. She turned back and flexed her hands and fingers several times, while Mare struggled with cleaning their clothing.
Then, finally, she got to her feet and carefully climbed out as well. Elsa felt like she had her energy back, and she looked past Maren at the mountain in the distance. It smoked, a little, but if Elsa tilted her head and looked a little to the left, she could tell the volcano was fast asleep.
?
Honeymaren had always known Elsa was mortal, but knowing and knowing were different things. And seeing Elsa's cuts and bruises had put all that into stark relief. It was a miracle of magic that she'd gotten away without any burns. While Elsa had drawn the water out of their clothing, Maren had run her hands carefully over Elsa's body, searching for unseen hurts or hidden wounds. She placed a kiss on her shoulder, and her hip, and near her knee. Elsa had been amused, and her good spirits made Maren's rise as well.
They'd done it. The sun was up, Maren was awake, and that had to mean the others were too, right? She wanted to get home, to check on Ryder and the herd and all her friends and family. And if she wanted to get home that badly, she knew Elsa might be kind of losing her mind at wanting to see Anna. "I think that's dry enough, sweetheart. We should get as far as we can before dark."
Elsa nodded, kneeling to pick up her trousers and shirt. Maren stared at her, thinking of a few dozen ways they could celebrate.
"Oh good," she whispered to herself, tying the laces of her tunic tightly.
One leg in her pants and the other out, Elsa straightened to look at her, brow quirked,. "What's good?"
"Just having thoughts."
Elsa smiled, buttoning up her shirt and then using her powers to add her trademark sparkling style. She reached for her boots. "Oh? What kind of thoughts?"
"Like how I want to make love to you while basking in the sun."
Losing her balance, Elsa toppled over, her boot half on her foot. She laughed nervously, then tugged it on the rest of the way. "Those are good thoughts."
Maren walked over, reaching down to help Elsa up. She let go once Elsa was standing and rubbed her arm. "Assuming you still want that with me. I know neither of us were really thinking straight that day-"
"Of course I do," Elsa gingerly touched Mare's face. "Now, more than ever. And not just the … " Her face grew heated, "Love making. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted a relationship. I did then. And I do now."
Heart in her throat, Maren said, "Get your boot on so I can kiss you properly."
"How does that make anything proper?"
"I don't know, it sounded good in my head."
Elsa laughed, getting up once her boots were on. She shook her hands out, then reached for Maren.
Giving her that proper kiss, Maren touched their foreheads together. "We should wrap your hands again."
"A little suffering is worth being able to touch you," Elsa said.
This time Maren was the one with the nervous laughter. But the last thing she wanted was Elsa suffering for her. At least not this kind of suffering. Maren shook her head with a smile, "Nope, we're wrapping your hands, and then we're going to find Olaf and Sven and go home."
Elsa nodded, and looked at the volcano again, then the position of the sun. "So if we head towards the south slope of the volcano that village should be south and east of that. We can probably just skim the coast, it would be easiest."
"Are you up for it?" Maren gently took hold of Elsa's hands and started to wrap them. "Or do you want to rest longer?"
"Yes. I'm so ready to go home."
